


Ghosts of the Past

by blueenvelopes935



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU, Angry Luke Skywalker, Back to Jakku, Best story I've ever written by far, Canto Bight, DON'T BELIEVE THE HATE READ IT FOR YOURSELF, Daddy Issues, Dark Kylo, Dark Side Hostage Princess, Drama, Estranged, F/M, I don't water down my Sith, I write the Sith POV and truth depends on your POV, It's hard to be a Sith, Jakku, Love Triangle, Muffins, Once more the Sith will rule the galaxy?, Peace Negotiations, Peace is a lie, People Die in My Fics, Poor Hux, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Baby, Sith kitty, Skywalker Dysfunctional Family Values, Skywalkers shouting, Someone find Hux his own girl, Torture, Trainwreck, betrayed, it's hard to love a Sith, lets make a deal, no safe spaces here, power!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 11:45:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 71
Words: 276,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10217306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueenvelopes935/pseuds/blueenvelopes935
Summary: Rey meets a stranger when she’s out scavenging in a wreck.  She’s struggling with the here and now, he’s haunted by the past.  Together, they stumble towards an uncertain future amid a backdrop of war.  Kylo Ren rises to power and gains things he never knew he wanted and loses things he always assumed he would have.   Girl meets Sith in this Dark AU, only this time it’s on her turf.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is to be written in multiple parts as my muse hits me.

PART ONE  PROLOGUE

 

_Ships’ Graveyard, Jakku_

 

The black command shuttle descends slowly, settling onto the shifting sands as its wings fold upwards like a great dark bird coming home to roost.  Down from the ramp stalks a lone man in black.  Bareheaded he walks towards the decayed and sun bleached battle wreckage.  It is strewn for miles, but here is the highest concentration of what fell from the sky that fateful day.  

The man stands a moment to stare at history.  More and more, history seems like his personal nemesis.

History repeats itself.  Past is prologue.  Those who fail to learn from the mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat them.  Yes, there are lots of pithy sayings about the past.  They are all true to some extent, the man thinks.  But they are also false to some extent as well.  Or, at the very least, misleading. 

Because those sayings belie the role of actual people in shaping destiny.  People who make decisions, take risks, endure sacrifices and revere ideals.  It's not the history that repeats, the man thinks.  It's human nature that does not change.    Yes, the poor will always be with us.  But so will the rich.  Each generation again we are proud, greedy, gluttonous, envious, lustful, angry and lazy.  And so too we are kind, merciful, forgiving, faithful, nurturing, humble and meek.   But always, we are in conflict.  For peace is a lie.

If the timeline of events looks similar down through the ages, it is because the people shaping those events were similar.   That’s why different people kept repeating the same mistakes.  The focus of history, the man decides, ought to be less on the events and more on the people.  

His expression turns grim now.   For this man knows exactly which people to blame for the destruction around him.  This is the work of the Skywalkers.  And they and their misguided romantic ideals are the scourge of the galaxy.


	2. Chapter2

Rey slides down the rope fast and comes to a quick, thudding halt.  It’s very dark down here, even in the height of the midday sun.   This old wreck has intermittent shafts of light that filter down from holes in the fuselage many stories above.  But the light barely permeates down as far as she is standing.  And so what is left of the hangar bay of the downed star destroyer is cloaked in thick gloom.  The small light Rey has attached to her goggles does little to illuminate the shadows. 

 

Rey stashes her gloves in her bag and checks to be sure the power cylinder she has found is still stable.  Some of these old cylinders are fragile and the jolt from her two-footed landing was not gentle.  Luckily, the cylinder looks to be fine.  On a good day, Plutt will pay two portions for a power cylinder depending on how much charge it still registers.    Satisfied everything is fine, Rey buttons closed her bag and lifts her goggles. 

 

And that’s when she senses movement in the shadows.

 

Instantly, Rey reaches for the staff strapped to her back.  She brandishes it up and ready for action as she squints into the darkness.  This is her weapon of choice and she knows how to use it. 

 

“Who’s there?” Rey calls loudly.  Her voice echoes several times in the wreck.  It’s an eerie, ghostly sound. 

 

Someone is there.  Rey doesn’t know how she knows this.  But she knows it.  She knows it the way Rey always knows danger.  She has a sixth sense for trouble that has served her well all her life.  Rey has learned the hard way not to disregard when she has a bad feeling about something.  She always goes with her gut even those times when her head tells her otherwise.

 

“Who’s there?” she demands again.

 

Silence.

 

“I know you’re there,” Rey exclaims.  “Show yourself!”

 

More silence.  And then there is movement again close by.  Not five meters from where she is standing a tall shape steps forward into one of the shafts of light.  It’s a human man and that’s all she can tell. 

 

Rey raises her staff higher as her pulse quickens.  “Stay back!” she warns.  “I have nothing you can steal.”

 

The man makes no reply.  Rey starts retreating fast towards the nearest exit.  There are holes all around the hangar bay.  Some are from the initial crash, some are from time, and some were made by scavengers like herself.  If she can just get outside, she can get to her speeder bike and get away.  Rey always chooses flight over fight when she can.  It’s the safer option.

 

As she backs up, the man keeps stepping forward.  And now Rey is definitely threatened.  She turns and runs, her nimble feet tracing a path to the outside.  “WAIT!” the man orders, but she keeps going.  “Don’t go!  Please!” 

 

As she emerges from the hull, Rey is momentarily blinded by the bright sun reflecting off the sand.  But she doesn’t slow down because she hears fast and heavy footsteps inside behind her.   With her staff tucked under her arm, Rey throws a leg over her speeder bike and guns the engine.  Nothing happens.  The bike is stalled.  It’s running on fumes for fuel so no doubt she’s got to prime the choke valve to start it but there isn’t time as her pursuer emerges from the wreck. 

 

Too late.  Rey jumps off the bike.  Flight is no longer an option.  Fight it is.  She raises her staff, plants her feet and stands her ground before the hostile stranger.

 

“Back off!” she hollers, looking the tall man up and down.   Her first impression is that this guy is young and far too pale for Jakku.  And he's wearing black.  No one wears black in the desert.   “You're not a scavenger,” she decides.  Rey knows all her rival scavengers.  She is relieved that she doesn’t see a weapon.  The man has a large tool of some sort hanging from his waist but there’s nothing threatening in his hands.  “You're not from around here,” she observes. 

 

The man silently looks her over as Rey inspects him.  He seems more intrigued than threatening.  After he has looked his fill, the man folds his arms across his chest and complains, “Are all the natives this friendly?”

 

Something about his mocking tone relaxes her a bit.  But Rey doesn’t let down her guard.  “No.  Some might have shot you already,” she snaps back.

 

The man nods at this.  “How come you didn't shoot me?”

 

“I will if you come any closer,” Rey warns.

 

But she must lack conviction because the man counters, “You don't even have a blaster, do you?”

 

“Yes, I do,” Rey bluffs with her best poker face.  “And I'm a good shot so stand back,” she adds for good measure. 

 

“No,” he decides slowly and quietly.  “You don't have a blaster.  If you did, you would have pulled it by now.  You are planning to beat me with that stick.”  It’s true, but Rey hopes her face doesn’t show it.  “Put away your weapon,” the man dismisses her staff with a wave of his hand.  “I mean you no harm.  You surprised me.  I only want to talk.”

 

To talk?  That’s a new one, Rey thinks skeptically.  Yes, this guy is definitely not from around here.  “Why are you here?  Are you lost?   Did you get stranded?”

 

“I'm a tourist.”

 

A what??  Rey isn’t buying it.  There are no tourists on Jakku.  Jakku is a place people leave.  Not a place people come to.  She shakes her head in disbelief.  “No one comes here.  There’s nothing to see.” 

 

“There is this.”  He gestures behind him to the massive wreck.  “I came to see the history.  To see what remains. This was the _Inflictor_ , right?”

 

He’s correct.  This wreck is what remains an Imperial star destroyer downed during the Battle of Jakku almost thirty years ago.  “Yes,” Rey confirms warily.  “That’s the _Inflictor._ ”

 

And now the stranger starts rattling off more information. “It was an Imperial-class star destroyer from the Kuat yards.  This ship was evacuated and scuttled in the battle to keep it from falling into the hands of New Republic forces.”

 

Again, he is correct.  Maybe this guy really is a tourist, she thinks.   Because while the information he knows isn’t hard to find, it isn’t information that people on Jakku other than Rey care about.   Few bother to learn the history of these old wrecks.  Their only meaning is as a source of parts for salvage. 

 

“What's your name?” he asks.  “Who are you?”  And again, something about this man makes Rey want to relax her vigilance.  Maybe it’s because this guy has an open face that's easy to read.  He's not used to hiding things, Rey thinks.  Here on Jakku, everyone has a practiced poker face.  For negotiating in the mostly barter economy.  And for negotiating through the inevitable conflicts and confrontations on this rough, lawless world. 

 

She eyes him a moment before answering.  “I’m Rey.  I’m a scavenger.  Who are you?”

 

“Kylo.”

 

Her eyes narrow.  “Kylo, like the First Order guy with the sword?”

 

“Yes.”

 

She purses her lips and nods.  “I’m glad you’re not the scary First Order Kylo.  Well, I’m leaving now,” she informs him.  “Don’t follow me.”

 

“Don’t leave,” he says softly as he takes a tentative step forward.  “You know this ship, right?  Stay and show me the ship.”

 

“What?” Is he for real?

 

“You look like you know your way around this ship.  I want you to show me the ship.”

 

She does know this ship.  Rey has wandered and explored it for years.  She knows which areas are safe and which are not.  And what’s worth seeing and what to skip.  So she asks, “What do you want to see?”

 

“The bridge, if we can.”

 

She nods her approval at this choice.  “It’s intact.  But you have to climb for that,” Rey warns him.  She’s skeptical that this guy is up for it.  He has a tall and lean frame.  But with his long fingered graceful hands and clean fingernails, he looks like he is used to soft living.  Rey doesn't see any calluses or scars to show signs of hard work.  He must have a desk job somewhere.  “You’ll need grappling hooks,” she adds.

 

“I’ve got that.”  He gestures to the utility toolbelt he’s wearing.  It reminds her of the old ones she has taken off dead stormtroopers in wrecks.  Yes, the guy does look like he came prepared to explore. 

 

Rey considers.  “What’s in it for me?”

 

“Credits.”

 

No deal.  Rey shakes her head.  “Credits don’t work on Jakku.  No one has them and no one takes them.  I need something that I can trade.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Anything that can be repurposed or reused.”

 

The man thinks a moment.  “Will power converters work?”

 

Yes, they will.  They will work nicely.  Rey can eat for a week on portions traded for a fully charged power converter.  Now, she’s interested.  Very interested.  “Okay.  I’ll show you the bridge.  But for two of them,” Rey bargains.  “And they have to be fully charged.”

 

“Done.  They’re at my ship.  When we’re done here, you’ll get them.”

 

Rey thinks a moment, sizing up the stranger once again.  He’s dusty but his clothes and boots look fancy.   Like he bought them new and not secondhand.  If his ship is nice, Rey decides, then he’s probably good for the bargain.  So she asks, “Where’s your ship?”

 

“Turn around.”

 

She does and Rey sees a large military-type shuttle parked a hundred meters away down the sand dune.  She had been so focused on getting away on her bike that she hadn’t noticed it when she first emerged from the wreck.  It’s black and very new looking.  Yes, if that’s his ship, then this guy is definitely good for the bargain.

 

“Okay,” Rey decides and she lowers her staff and remounts it on her back.  “But don’t try anything or you’re a dead man.  Come on,” she waves him forward as she walks past him and back into the wreck.  Her voice is gruff.  “Let’s get this over with.”

 

Once inside, Rey starts talking.  “The bridge tower is directly above us, but we have to approach at a slight angle.  The ship has listed over the years as it settles into the sand.  There’s an elevator shaft that leads directly from the hangar bay to the bridge.  We’ll go up it.  I guess it was designed so that the top brass could get to and from the bridge quickly.”

 

“Yes.  The newer ones are designed the same way.”

 

Rey doesn’t ask how he knows this.  She just shoots him a look in the dim light.  “It’s about twenty stories up and it’s very dark in the shaft.  Are you prepared for that?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“The actual elevators are below us.  They must have plummeted upon impact.  We’ll use the hooks to get up.  Alright, here goes.”  Rey pulls her own grappling hook from her pack, leans into the empty shaft and fires up the first the hook at an eighty-degree angle.  It connects and Rey pulls hard to test the cable’s strength.  Then she fires another hook.

 

“Why two?” he asks.

 

“For safety.  Even steel gets brittle out here in the desert.  And there are others in these wrecks who sometimes like to make mischief and dislodge your hook.  I never depend on one rope in a wreck unless I have to,” Rey informs him.  “I advise you to do the same.  Let me go first and then I’ll call down for you to follow.”  With her gloves on and one hook in her hand and another clipped to her waist, Rey activates the first hook.  Swiftly, it takes her to the top.  Now she just has to throw her leg up and over the open elevator door to land on the bridge.   Then Rey detaches herself from the two cables and calls down the all clear.   Moments later, her companion appears.  He’s quick and far more nimble than she had first thought.

 

“It’s light up here,” Kylo states the obvious.  The triangular shaped bridge windows are still intact and they flood the command center with natural light.  The light reveals rows and rows of workstations that once operated the great ship.  They are all mostly disassembled now by scavengers.  But aside from that damage, the space is a good approximation of what the star destroyer must have looked like thirty years ago. 

 

“Come,” Rey beckons Kylo forward down the center walkway.  The footing is a bit tricky because the ship now rests on an angle, dipping hard to the starboard side.  But after a moment, they both get used to it.  “The view up here is amazing.  Look,” Rey points him off to the east.  “Over here you can see all the way to Tuanul.  There’s a small village out there.  And off to the west are the Goazon Badlands.” She turns back to Kylo now to warn, “Those are the sinking fields.  Stay away from there.  The sand shifts without notice.  It will swallow your entire ship if you’re not careful.  And you too.”

 

He nods, but she doesn’t really have his attention.  The ship has his attention.  Rey watches in silence as Kylo paces the perimeter of the bridge and then once again comes up the center aisle.  He stops at the prow, hands clasped behind his back.  The bright light from outside hits his face and he looks paler than ever.  But handsome too.  Rey had not noticed how handsome this man is.  He has an angular, craggy face that is very unique but still pleasing.  And standing tall on the bridge, shoulders back, chin lifted and hands behind his back, Kylo seems oddly at home. 

 

“You look like you belong here,” Rey whispers aloud.  Then she colors for saying something so inane.  Kylo turns to meet her eyes and smiles.  It’s the first time he has smiled and it’s a genuine smile.  It transforms his hard-featured face completely.  He’s suddenly boyish.

 

Rey smiles back reflexively.  “Why are you interested in this?” she asks.  “No one ever comes here but us scavengers.”

 

“I admire the Empire,” he answers softly.    

 

Rey cocks her head to the side and raises an eyebrow.  “This is a strange place to come then.  This was the end of the Empire, you know.”

 

“Yes.  That’s what I wanted to see.  Where it all ended.”

 

“Oh.”  Rey walks to his side now.  She starts pointing out wrecks.  “That big dreadnought super star destroyer over there is the _Ravager_.   It wasn’t scuttled, it went down in the battle.  There are still bodies in it.  And there are the remains of shuttles and TIEs that were in the hangar for impact.  It’s uh . . .”  Rey is searching for the right words.  “Well, it’s pretty much a tomb, Kylo.  So are most of the crashed TIEs, Y-wings and X-wings you see around here.  What’s left of the pilots is usually mummified from time and heat.  There’s also a lot of random stuff strewn across the desert from the ships.  Old walkers and speeders and personnel transports that were in these big capital ships.  They must have been jettisoned in the freefall or maybe on impact.  I’m not sure.  There was no land war here for any of it to be intentionally deployed.”

 

He stays silent, so Rey keeps talking.  She knows as much about Jakku’s graveyard of ships as anyone.  “See that big reflection over there?  That bright glare on the sand?  Some big capital ship crashed there directly into the surface and the heat from the impact melted the sand into glass.  That big thing you see sticking up is what’s left of the keel of the ship.”  Rey looks around at the tableau of destruction visible for miles.  “Yeah . . . I’ve been in just about every wreck here at least once or twice.” 

 

“You sound as if you like this stuff,” he surmises with a tone she can’t place.  Does he approve?  Disapprove?  Rey isn’t certain. 

 

But his comment stops her.  She’s realizing now how macabre this must look to fresh eyes.  She’s used to all this destruction and death.  But he’s probably not.  Rey is defensive now.  “A lot of people died here.  Look, I know that.  I try to respect them when I’m in a wreck.  I never mess with the bodies.  But I have to scavenge to live.  Maybe this place ought to be hallowed ground, but it’s where I work.”  Her eyes wander again to the _Ravager_ still full of bodies.  “A lot of people died here,” she repeats softly.

 

“The Empire died here,” he summarizes.  “This is where it all ended a year after Endor.”

 

Rey nods.  She’s familiar with all the major battles of the Rebellion era.  The Battle of Jakku was the decisive end of the Empire.  “From what I’ve read and what I’ve seen, this was a bloodbath,” she says softly.

 

“Yes,” he agrees, still gazing out on the battlefield debris. “It was a resounding defeat.  But there are lessons to be learned in defeat.  Probably more lessons than in victory.”

 

Is this guy some sort of professor?  He seems very scholarly and contemplative about the wrecks, Rey thinks.  “So, what’s the lesson here?” she asks.   She’s curious.

 

“I don’t know yet,” he confesses.  “That’s what I’m here to discover.”  He turns around now to view the bridge behind them.  “These ships haven't changed much over the years.  The basic layout is still the same.” 

 

“Yeah,” Rey agrees.  “There have been versions of star destroyers around since the Old Republic days.  I've seen the schematics on the holonet.  The originals were very different from the Imperial ships.  But supposedly the First Order has some new ones that look a lot like these.”

 

Kylo slants a glance her direction.  “You can’t legally build a ship like this now,” he remarks.  “It would violate all the New Republic armament treaties.” 

 

Rey shrugs.  Since when would the First Order care about New Republic laws?  But she has to concede imperfect knowledge.  “Well, I don’t know if it’s true or not.  It was just one of those published rumors on the holonet.  No one really knows what is true or not about the First Order.”  Rey crosses her arms now and cocks her head.  “I do wonder sometimes what one of these ships would be like up and running and full of people.  I’d love to see that.”  She grins over at Kylo.  “I might join the First Order just to see that.”  She turns again to look out the bridge windows, running a hand over the thick transparasteel glass that has survived all these years.  Looking down below at the rest of the ship, Rey comments, “This ship is largely intact.  Even with battle damage and a crash and decades in the desert.  She was built to last.” 

 

He agrees.  “Like the Empire.  It was beaten and left in ruins too, Rey.  But thirty years later, its ideals remain.  They are timeless.” 

 

Something about the way he says this gets her attention.  Rey looks up and stares at the stranger.  He has a strange, inscrutable look on his face.  A little wistful?  Maybe determined?  Rey isn’t certain.  “Have you seen enough?” she asks and it breaks his reverie.

 

He nods.  “Yes.”

 

“Are you some sort of professor?” Rey asks as together they walk back to the elevator shaft.  “Because you sound very knowledgeable.”

 

“No.  But I’m a history buff.  You go first.  Ladies first.”  He motions to the cables and watches as she hooks one to her waist and grabs for the other. 

 

Rey smiles up at him before she begins to rappel down.  She has decided that she likes this strange, quiet guy.  “I’m a history buff too.”

 

Once they are both safely down the elevator shaft into the hangar bay, together they head outside for his ship.  Because the trip up to the bridge had been so easy and uneventful, Rey feels as though she ought to warn him.  “Look, if you come back here to explore, be careful.  There are a lot of hidden dangers in these wrecks.”

 

“You mean from decay?”

 

“Yes.  There are plenty of roofs caving in.  But there’s also a lot of unstable ordinance in these ships.  Proton torpedoes and turbo lasers that can explode without warning.  Fuel leaks and gas leaks that can ignite in the heat.  Stuff like that.  Plus, there are some places that us locals know not to go.   Where the sand is shifting and there is danger of collapse.  So, if you ever come back and want to look around, find me and I’ll be your guide.”

 

He slants her a sideways glance.  “What makes you think I’m coming back?”

 

“You wanted to learn a lesson from this place, right?  To know its meaning?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well, then, if you didn’t learn it today, then that’s a reason to come back.”

 

He raises an eyebrow at this.  “Should I bring extra power converters when I return?”

 

Rey nods.  “I don’t work for free, Kylo.”

 

They have come upon his shuttle now and Rey can’t conceal her admiration for it.  “Wow . . . she’s beautiful, Kylo.  I love the black.”  While the shuttle ramp lowers and he stalks up inside, Rey slowly walks the perimeter of the ship, noting all the heavy shielding and recessed weaponry.   This ship has a lot of aggressive features.  It looks more like a military transport than a private citizen’s recreational ride.   But Rey has no idea what Kylo does for a living, so maybe his line of work is dangerous.   Rey has seen plenty of smuggler’s crafts that were similarly shielded and armed.   Plus, there’s a war going on so space is a dangerous place even for an average citizen.

 

The ship is warming up when Kylo emerges with two power converters in hand.   He hands them over.  “Fully charged, Rey.”

 

Rey inspects the converters one at a time with a practiced eye.  The converters look brand new, never used.  And each bears a familiar medallion insignia and a code stamp that looks like a military procurement order number.  “These are First Order,” she decides as she looks to Kylo.  “Are they stolen?” she asks point blank.  She doesn’t want trouble with the First Order. 

 

Kylo looks offended.  “I am not a thief, Rey.  The converters are First Order.  I’m First Order.”

 

“Oh.”  Well, that explains why he likes the Empire, Rey thinks.  And it also explains the military look to his shuttle.  And the military look to his boots.   Over the years, Rey has seen a lot of dead men in military boots. 

 

“The converters are yours to have free and clear.  Payment for services rendered.”

 

“Okay.  Thanks.”  Rey nods and tucks the converters under her arm.  Then she starts walking back up the sand dune to the _Inflictor_ wreck.  Her speeder bike is up there.  She’ll need to get it running so she can make it to the trading post to sell these converters.  She only gets a few meters before she hears her name and turns.

 

“Rey.”

 

Kylo is at the bottom of the ramp, arms crossed watching her.  “Where do I find you if I come back?” he calls.

 

“My home is to the east about three miles.  You can’t miss it.  It’s the only thing that direction between here and the Niima Outpost.  If I’m not here in the wrecks, I am at home.”

 

He nods and flashes that same boyish smile she saw before.

 

Rey responds with a wave of her own.  Then she’s off again towards her speeder bike.   She’s excited to sell the converters.  She’ll have a good dinner tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

Six days later, he is back on Jakku.  Kylo tells himself that he's back to see the battlefield and not the girl.  But mostly, he's back to see the girl.

 

And even where the girl is concerned, Kylo is lying to himself.  Telling himself that the strange, nearly gaunt and sunburned girl is a useful guide.   That she is a fellow history buff so she's the right person to help him understand Jakku's past.  That with her bright eyes and wide smile, she is a pleasant enough companion.  But the truth is that he's back to see the girl because the girl has the Force.  Lots and lots of Force.   And she seems completely oblivious to that fact. 

 

Rey had slid down that rope in the darkened wreck and it had been like a supernova in his mind.  He had been taken aback.  Stunned really.  Peering into the gloom at the skinny figure shrouded in goggles and linen rags.   To Kylo, this newcomer had seemed a veritable beacon in the Force.  Her intrinsic Light shining forth to blind his mind's eye.  And so when she had turned to run, he had to stop her so he could learn more. 

 

Rey isn't the first Force sensitive being who he has come across since the demise of his uncle's Jedi Academy.  He usually makes a point of killing them to avoid the possibility that they might someday find their way to his uncle.  But this girl had seemed like an unlikely future enemy.  Hidden away on obscure Jakku living hand to mouth as a scavenger, she lives a wretched life.  She hadn't struck him as an ideologue.  Rey hadn't even seemed hostile to the Empire or the First Order when the topics came up.  If anything, she is apolitical, he guesses.   And that combination of Rey's ignorance of her abilities, her remote location, and little incentive for opposition had swayed him to spare her.   Plus, somehow it had seemed fitting to show mercy to the girl with the Light who scrounges around for mechanical scraps amid so much death, decay and darkness.  For if there ever was a place that needed a little hope, it is the ships’ graveyard on the wasteland world of Jakku. 

 

Rey had piqued his interest and so today he has found a few hours in his schedule to disappear back to Jakku.  He is buzzing the ships' graveyard in his shuttle for the third time attempting to locate the girl's home due east between the battlefield and the trading outpost.  But he can't locate any structures in that area.  There's just the remains of a downed AT-AT walker laying on its side.  Kylo is skeptical but he's wasted ten minutes already, so he sets the shuttle down near the walker. 

 

And sure enough, it is the girl's home.  She's standing outside as he lands, her feet apart and her staff planted upright in the sand.  She looks like a sentry guard at a royal palace and not a scavenger waif in front of a thirty-year-old piece of junk.  Kylo smiles at this girl's intrinsic dignity.  And he smiles because the ten-year-old boy in him thinks living in an AT-AT is cool.  Very cool.

 

"Hello Rey," he calls as he marches down the ramp.  This time, she's not wearing the head wrap and goggles.  With her entire face uncovered, Kylo realizes now just how young she is.  Rey has her hair tied back in a tight trio of buns.  It’s a little girl's style that is purely functional.  It just adds to the impression of youth.   She's a teenager, he realizes uncomfortably.   Just a kid. 

 

"You're back," Rey announces coolly.  This girl looks him in the eye and speaks with confidence.  He likes that.  Kylo Ren is used to people cowering from him.  Sure, he's not wearing his uniform and mask just now so this girl doesn't know to be afraid.  But still.   Her poise charms him.  She is very self-possessed.

 

His eyes sweep over the wrecked walker behind her, noting the two antennas mounted on the back, a clothesline, and some contraption that resembles a homemade moisture vaporator.  "This is where your family lives?" he asks, wondering if the rest of her family has the Force.  The Force appears spontaneously in most species, but it also runs in families.  And if there is a whole clan as strong with the Force as Rey, that presents a problem.

 

Rey shakes her head. "It's just me.  My family is gone."

 

Gone.  There's a story there, but he doesn't ask.  It’s too soon to ask.  He doesn’t want to scare this girl.  She's skittish enough as it is. 

 

Rey gets right down to business.  "Did you bring the power converters?"

 

"Of course."

 

Her eyes light up and she grins.  "Then what can I show you?"

 

Kylo shrugs.  "Surprise me," he offers. 

 

Rey thinks a moment and then beckons him over to the speeder bike he remembers from last time.  Like the moisture vaporator, the bike looks homemade.  It's a hodgepodge patchwork of parts she must have scavenged and it’s covered with bits of junk tucked into a large cargo net.  This girl is nothing if not resourceful, he observes.  Rey hops on the front and pats behind her.  It’s his turn to grin now.  Kylo throws a leg over the bike and grabs for her waist.  It's tiny, he sees.  This girl is far too slim.  She pumps the accelerator and the engine roars to life. Then she puts the bike in gear and they are off.

 

Rey takes him to the super star destroyer _Ravager_.  It is by far the largest wreck.  The remains of the ship stretch as far as the eye can see.  Seeing it laying in huge chunks on the desert floor is a sight to behold.  The sense of scale to these behemoth capital ships is lost in space.  But here, it is awe inspiring.  Just the aft engines alone are perhaps twenty stories high.  They dwarf everything nearby. 

 

Rey pulls up the speeder and side by side they stand a moment to take a good look.  "She was an Executor-class super star destroyer," Rey tells him with something approaching reverence.  "A Kuat ship, like the rest.   The _Ravager_ was the last surviving dreadnought in the Imperial fleet.  She was taken down by heavy fire towards the end of the battle.  Inside there is a lot of damage, mostly from fire."

 

He’s impressed.  Rey is correct on all points.  But Kylo stays silent and lets her talk. 

 

"These ships were floating cities.  The superstructure up top housed thousands.   All the mechanics were down below.  Ships like these were a marvel of engineering.  But they were a high concentration of manpower and firepower.  Losing one of these must have been a big loss."

 

He nods at this wisdom.  The Empire always had a bigger is better approach to technology, whether it was Death Stars or super star destroyers.   Palpatine had been willing to commit huge resources and take huge risks.  Many paid off, but some did not.  "My grandfather commanded the Imperial Navy," Kylo reveals to Rey.  "He was on the _Executor_."

 

"That ship was lost at Endor, right?"

 

"Yes," Kylo confirms grimly.  "My grandfather died at Endor."

 

"I'm sorry," Rey says quietly.  She is sincere.  Yes, he thinks, this girl is no threat to turn Jedi one day.  She might be the Light, but she's no left wing nut like his uncle.  His Master old Darth Plagueis has long preached a certain tolerance towards the Light.  If the Light were all like Rey, Kylo would be happy to show forbearance.  But they’re not, so usually he resorts to killing Lightsiders.

 

The silence hangs heavy between them for a moment and then Rey speaks up.  “I was hoping you would come back.”

 

“Why is that?” he asks as he follows her towards a very mangled TIE half embedded into the sand. 

 

Rey glances over at him.  She looks a bit sheepish.  “I know a lot of people, Kylo.  But I don’t have any friends.  I thought that maybe you could be a friend.”

 

“So it wasn’t just about power converters?” he asks with a wry smile.

 

“Well, that too,” she answers honestly.  She walks over to wipe sand away from the TIE cockpit windows.  Kylo sees that the unlucky pilot is still inside.  The pilot’s face is covered by a helmet and his hands are sheathed in gloves.  But his flightsuit has disintegrated in places over the years and reveals mummified looking flesh here and there.   Rey gestures at the dead man.  “There are a lot of bodies like this in the _Ravager_.  I’ll take you in if you want to see.  But it’s fodder for nightmares, Kylo.”

 

Kylo Ren has seen plenty of dead bodies.  And he’s killed plenty.  He’s not squeamish in the least.  But Rey apparently is.  Of course, because she is the Light.  Kylo takes the hint and declines. 

 

Rey begins circling the downed TIE, surveying the damage.  “I have read that the First Order still flies TIEs.  Is it true they are painted black to confuse visual scanning in space?”

 

“Yes, that’s true.”

 

“Does it work?” 

 

“Maybe in a dogfight when normal scanning is chaotic and confusing.  But painting a ship black is hardly the same as a cloaking device.”

 

Rey nods her agreement.  “Yeah, I thought it seemed like a gimmick.  But your black shuttle sure looks slick.”

 

Yeah, it does.  “How did you get to be such a techie?” Kylo asks out of curiosity.  “Is it all from scavenging?”

 

“Mostly,” she admits.  “But I have always liked mechanical things.   When the ships come in to the outpost, I usually get a few days’ worth of real work as a mechanic.  We strip stolen ships for parts.  But sometimes we rehab them so they can be fenced.  We pull the transponders and reprogram the main computer to avoid identification, and then we repaint the ship.   Someone else fakes the paperwork.  Most people have no idea they are buying stolen goods.”  Rey shrugs and then casually reveals more unsavory acts.  “Now and then, we get smugglers who pass through here on the run.   They want their ship disguised to keep the Core World docking cops fooled.   I help with that too.”

 

Kylo is not impressed by these admissions.  His tone is pejorative. “So you work for a chop shop?   And for spice dealers?” 

 

Rey hears the censure in his tone.  “Hey, a girl's got to eat.  I don't steal the ships, I don't smuggle the drugs, and I don't ask questions.”

 

That’s one step away from those actual crimes as far as Kylo is concerned.  He has never been one to tolerate shady deals.  This sort of thing reminds him of Han Solo.  “So you are an accessory after the fact?”

 

Rey thinks a moment.  “Yeah, I guess.  Maybe.  Am I disappointing you, Kylo?” She shrugs and looks a bit uncomfortable, to her credit.  “Look, there's not any opportunity here.  We don't have much in the way of legitimate business.  I get real work when I can and the rest of the time I scavenge.”  She gives him a sideways glance now.   Her tone is testy.  “Sometimes I get lucky and a rich First Order guy will fly in on his fancy shuttle and pay me in power converters.  But the rest of the time, it’s take the work I can get or starve.   Have you ever starved, Kylo?  You lose your scruples very fast when you starve.”

 

She has a point there, he concedes.  And there is a difference between Han Solo choosing to cheat and steal when he has better options and this girl doing what’s necessary to survive.  “No, I have never starved,” he is forced to admit. 

 

“Well, maybe you could get your First Order friends to come and clean up Jakku.  I know they won’t, but I wish they would,” Rey complains.  “We could use some law and order around here.  And the First Order brings jobs.  Munitions factories and stuff like that.  Jobs that pay real credits.”

 

Kylo reads the frustration in her face.   She knows as well as he does that the First Order will never come to backwater Jakku.   “Desert worlds are hard to develop,” he explains matter of fact.  “There are no natural resources here.  Everything has to be brought from off-world.  Plus, you are far from any major hyperspace lane.  That's not conducive to commerce.   There’s nothing of an economic or strategic benefit here, Rey.”

 

“Yeah, I know.”  She kicks at the sand with her boot.    “Jakku is a place people come to hide.  No one comes here and so no one would think to look here.”

 

He doesn’t know what to say to this except that life isn’t fair.  And this skinny scavenger kid who is forced into crime doesn’t need him to tell her that life isn’t fair.   Watching her now, Kylo wonders who this girl is and how she got ever stuck on Jakku.  It seems like such a waste. 

 

She’s staring off into the horizon now.  Squinting.  Then she snatches a handful of sand and tosses it into the air to watch as a sudden breeze disperses it.   Whatever she sees makes her nervous.

 

Something’s wrong, he senses. 

 

“Come on, let’s get back on the bike,” Rey tells him abruptly.  Her tone is clipped.  “There might be a storm coming.  It’s not safe to be out in a sandstorm.  Especially here.”  By the time they reach Rey’s AT-AT ten minutes later, Kylo can feel the change in the air and in the wind.  Rey parks the bike and hurries to cover it with tarps to protect it from the storm.   Sure enough, there is a dark swirling cloud on the horizon to the west, like a tornado in the desert.   The both watch in silence for a minute.

 

“Sometimes they blow themselves out before they make it this far,” Rey tells him.  “Storms form fast without warning.  But they disappear fast too.”  She turns to him.  “Kylo, if you’re going to leave, you need to get in your shuttle now.  These storms disrupt the normal winds close to the surface.  Even a few miles from the storm, takeoff and landing can be treacherous.  You either leave now or wait it out.”

 

Sandstorms are serious business, he sees.   Everything about this girl is tense and on edge.  The Force tells him that she is frightened, although her outward serious calm belies that emotion.  Maybe it’s her youth, but Kylo suddenly feels oddly protective of this girl.  The girl who must be terribly lonely if she yearns for a random tourist like himself to be her only friend. 

 

“Will the storm hurt the shuttle?” he asks.  He has no plans to get marooned on Jakku.

 

“Not the mechanics.  But a bad one could ruin your slick paint job.”

 

That he can handle.  “I’ll stay, Rey.  I’ve never been in a sandstorm before.”

 

Instantly, she sees through him.  Rey doesn’t seem to appreciate the concern.   She’s shooting him a downright resentful look now.  “I can handle myself, Kylo.  There’s no need to worry about me.”

 

He shrugs.  “This way, I can cross sandstorm off my bucket list,” he tells her with a smile. 

 

Rey eyes him a moment and then decides, “Alight.  Well, come on in.  Let’s have some water.”

 

Kylo has never been inside an actual walker, but he knows that the interior of Rey’s home is far removed from the original contents.  Everything he sees is salvaged or makeshift, like the speeder.  From the hammock that looks to have been handwoven from fabric scraps to the table and chairs that look to have been lifted from the interior of some capital ship.  Plus, scattered about are intriguing things like a doll dressed as a rebel pilot, an old flight simulation console and a thicket of computer and communications components Rey appears to have rigged together.  There is a lot here he would like to ask about, but nothing arrests his attention like the marks on the wall.  Thousands of them in neat rows.   He opens his mouth to ask when Rey catches his eye and blushes furiously.  She looks away.  Kylo takes the hint and swallows his question.  He adds the marks on the wall to his mental list of things that fascinate him about this girl.

 

Rey rummages around towards the front of the walker and appears with a cup of water for each of them.  “Cheers,” she toasts him and then guzzles the water down in one long, loud gulp.  Kylo grins and follows suit.  This desert girl has no pretentions and it’s sort of refreshing.  Charming when compared to all the posturing of the effete officers he deals with.

 

She's actually quite attractive, he thinks as he sees her in profile.  Rey has elegant, even features.  Strong brows that balance her full lips.  She is completely unadorned in her filthy desert rags and tight hair.  That's so unlike the women of his experience.  Not his perfumed princess mother or the coy, overly made up tarts who he picks up on Coruscant weekends with his knights.  This girl is a noble savage of the desert with arresting poise and athletic grace.  Even though she is a sandy, sweaty mess, everything about Rey seems to draw him in a little further each time he meets her.  Her lure is so completely unintentional on her part that it disarms him.  She's not coming on to him.  She's no flirt.   And yet he is getting very into this strange girl.

 

“Are you hungry?” Rey asks and he can tell that she is doing her best hostess routine.  Kylo declines because there is no way he will eat this poor girl’s food.   Rey looks as if she needs every calorie she can get.   She looks a little relieved when he says no. 

 

“Stay here, I’ll take another look,” Rey tells him as she disappears out of the hole in the belly of the walker that serves as her front door.  “We’re good,” her voice calls from outside.  “It’s blown out.  There’s no danger.” 

 

Rey ducks back inside and not a minute later there is the sound of a landspeeder approaching.  Rey peeks out her front door once more.  Then she turns to Kylo and makes a face.  "It's that Church of the Force guy again.   He means well but he can't take a hint.  Let me handle this.  I'll get rid of them.  You stay inside."

 

Church of the Force?  Kylo doesn’t like the sound of this.  Who knew those crazies were still around?   Still, it’s good to know that they are hiding out here in the Western Reaches.  Kylo mentally files that fact away for future reference.  He rises to his feet and Rey shoots him a hard look.  “Stay inside, Kylo.  If they see another prospective convert, they’ll drone on and on forever with their Force talk.”

 

“Rey?” a singsong woman’s voice calls.  “Rey, are you here?  We saw the storm and got worried . . . “

 

“I’m here.  I’m fine.”  Rey steps out to stand at her front door.  She’s got her staff in hand and her sentry pose just like she greeted him this morning.  On the outside, Rey has a lot of bluster.  But that’s not her real personality, he now knows.  She’s really quite friendly.  And sort of eager to please. 

 

Kylo gets the briefest of glances at a middle-aged woman who accompanies a tall, whitehaired and bearded man.  The man looks familiar and it jogs an old memory.  Kylo knows that guy.  Or he knew the younger version of that guy.

 

“There's really no need for you to keep checking on me,” Rey informs her visitors.  This girl is nothing if not independent.  And proud of it. 

 

But as advertised, the visitors can’t or won’t take a hint.  Kylo hears the woman’s voice complain, “Rey, we are concerned for you.  It's not safe out here by yourself.”

 

“You're right.  It’s not safe. But I'm still alive,” Rey answers.  Her ungracious tone tells Kylo that this is a conversation she has had many times before. 

 

“We brought you some hydration tablets, Rey.  Just hear us out and you can have the hydration tablets.  All we ask is that you listen.”

 

“Thanks, but no thanks.  You told me about Luke Skywalker last time, remember?  I’ve heard the whole story about your prophet.  I hope you’re right and he comes back some day.  But I’m not holding my breath.”

 

Kylo’s ears perk up at the sound of the name Skywalker.  Now the conversation is getting very interesting.

 

The woman is persistent.  “Rey, we can teach you the ways of the Force.   We will be the family you seek--” 

 

Rey cuts her off coldly.  “My real family will come back.  You'll see.  They'll come.” 

 

“We think you may have the Force.  If so, that is a great gift,” the old man intones.  He has the same slow declaratory speech that Kylo remembers from years ago.  It’s just as sanctimonious now.

 

And now Kylo’s mind is racing.  He’s wondering how exactly San Tekka knows Rey has the Force.  Because despite that man’s deep interest in Force lore, he himself is completely non-Force sensitive.  And from what Kylo can tell, so is the woman who accompanies him.  They are wannabes, both of them.

 

“You are risking your life and wasting your gift,” the woman chimes in.

 

“Maybe,” Rey concedes.  “But those are my decisions to make.”   She is firm.

 

The old man backs down now.  “We'll stop by the next time we are at Niima.  Rey, if ever you need help, you know where to find us.”

 

“Yeah.  Okay,” Rey replies.   After the pair departs on their speeder, she ducks back into the AT-AT and makes a face.  “That guys runs a Force cult at a village not far from here.  They mostly keep to themselves.  I'm the only one they bother.”  Rey shakes her head dismissively.  “I guess they think since I'm alone I'm ripe for their evangelizing.   But I don't need their help.”   Rey looks away and mutters, “I don’t need anyone’s help.”

 

And that’s a lie because this girl looks like she could use a lot of help.  Or, at the very least, a friend.  Kylo decides to lay his cards on the table.  Well, some of them.  “That's Lor San Tekka.  I knew him years ago.  He was a family friend.”

 

“Yeah?  Really?  I guess it is a small galaxy after all.  His cult takes in widows and orphans now and then.  They keep trying to take in me too.” 

 

Kylo looks around at the sandy hovel Rey lives in.  “And you aren't tempted to accept?” he wonders aloud.

 

“No.   I’m not much for organized religion, Kylo.  Maybe the Force exists.  But I’m not sure.”

 

Kylo puts this issue to one side for a moment.  He’s curious about what Rey said.  “What did you mean about your family coming back?”

 

She looks away as she reveals, “My family left me here as a kid.” 

 

Ouch, he thinks.  “When?”

 

“I think I was about four or five.”

 

His eyes widen.  Who abandons a little kid that age to fend for themselves?  It’s a wonder she’s still alive.  “Why?” Kylo asks.

 

Rey looks away again.  “I don't know.  I'm sure they had a good reason.”

 

Kylo isn’t so sure.  And now he is very intrigued about this unusual girl.  The pieces are starting to come together now to explain the lonely scavenger who lives in an AT-AT.  “So who raised you?” 

 

“I worked for Unkar Plutt until I was about twelve.  He needed a kid who could fit into small spaces for repairs.  When I grew too big for the job, I wasn't any use to him.  That's when I went out on my own and began scavenging.” 

 

Rey has been on her own since she was twelve?  He frowns.  “Who is this Plutt guy?”

 

“He's a Crolute who runs the local trading post.  He's not a nice guy, Kylo.  He's the local crime boss and he cheats people.  One of these days, someone is going to kill him.”

 

Kylo is starting to understand how agnostic Rey was earlier about dabbling with criminals.  She was raised that way.  Jakku is as lawless as the rest of the Rim, it seems.  “Was this Plutt guy good to you?” Kylo wants to know. 

 

Rey shakes her head with resignation.  “Good?  No.  But I'm alive.  I keep my distance from him now.  Once I got older, I didn't like the way that Crolute looked at me.” 

 

“What makes you think that your family is coming back?”  Kylo tries to ask this as gently as possible.  But even he can hear the skepticism in his voice.

 

Rey is defensive now.  “I don't know why I think that.  I just do.   Anyway, even if they don't, that cult isn't the solution.” She sighs.  “I’ve sat through their speeches about the Jedi before.  They talk a good game about happiness, kindness and love.  But they have a lot of New Republic political ideas underpinning it all.  Look, Kylo, I know that you’re First Order.  But I'm not much into politics or ideologies.  The war is a long way from here.  None of that matters for my life.  I’m just trying to survive.”  Rey looks down and it’s the first time he sees this girl actually look beleaguered.  “There’s no point in having an opinion.  What I think won’t make a difference anyhow.  People like me don’t matter, Kylo.”

 

The unconscious irony of her statement floors him.  For this is a girl with the Force.  A lot of Force.  She is one of the few individuals who can make a difference in the galaxy.  Rey of Jakku has the potential to matter quite a bit.  Maybe it’s because he likes this girl and is beginning to admire her.  But Kylo makes an impulsive decision.  He tells her the truth.  “The old man is right about one thing.  You do have the Force.”

 

Rey gives him a look.  “Are you into hokey religions too?”

 

“Yes, I am,” he tells her with a smile.  “And I have the Force too.”

 

Rey frowns at him.  She is indignant.  “Well, there's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny.  I control my life.  Not some all-powerful Force.” 

 

Kylo is familiar with this viewpoint.  There are lots of misconceptions about the Force, especially now that the Jedi are all but extinct and the First Order has spent years vilifying and marginalizing the exiled Luke Skywalker.  “Rey, that's not how the Force works,” he says patiently.  “It controls your actions but it also obeys your commands.”

 

She shrugs.  “I'm not buying it, Kylo.  Where was the Force when I was starving at age thirteen?  When I got sick two years ago?   And why doesn’t the Force send my family back?  Or just send me a friend?  Where is the Force when I need help?  The Force isn’t why I’m still alive.  I am the reason I’m still alive.”

 

“Rey, the Force doesn't make life easier or less dangerous.  Quite the opposite usually.”  No one speaks from experience on this point better than Kylo Ren. 

 

Rey sighs.  “Then, no thanks.  My life is hard enough.” 

 

Yes, he can see that.  “Why do you stay here?” 

 

“I'm waiting for my family, remember?  Besides, I can't afford a ticket off world and where would I go?”  A shadow crosses her features and he can tell that despite her conviction, Rey has some doubts about staying.  “Look, life here isn’t good.  But I’m surviving.  It’s okay . . . for now.  And it’s just until my family returns.  Then, we’ll leave and go to a nice world and make a nice life . . . “

  

“Rey,” he says gently, “Would you even recognize your family if they showed up?”

 

He can tell that he has hit on a sore nerve.  Rey looks away.  “I’m sure I would know them.  And they would know me, right?”

 

“Yes.  Of course,” he agrees mostly to humor her.  If Rey needs this hope to cling to, he won’t be the one to dissuade her.  “Well, if the storm has passed, I should be leaving.”

 

“Yeah, okay.”  Rey walks with him to the shuttle.  He starts the ship warming and then returns to hand her two power converters.

 

“Fully charged,” he says with a smile.

 

“I didn’t actually show you much today,” Rey says softly.  “I don’t think I have earned them.”

 

Her honest admission absolves any concerns that this girl is a criminal at heart.  “Take them,” he urges.   “You saved me from a sandstorm.  That counts for something.”

 

“I would have done that anyway,” she says and he believes her.  She frowns now and looks like she wants to say something.

 

“What is it, Rey?”

 

“This Force stuff.  Jedi wizards and evil Sith, the Light and Dark Sides.  All those myths the Church of the Force people tell—are they true, Kylo?  Do you know if they are true?”

 

“It’s true,” he confirms solemnly.  “All of it.”

 

She nods.  “That’s what I thought you’d say.”

 

“Search your feelings, Rey,” he tells her softly.  “You know it to be true.  Force-users can always sense the truth.”

 

Her brow furrows and suddenly Rey looks like she might cry.  “Kylo, is the Force why I’m here?”

 

“It’s why we’re all here,” he reveals and he sounds more like his prosy old uncle than he would like.

 

“That’s not what I mean.  Is it why I’m here?  Is it why my family left me?  Because I have the Force.  And having the Force is dangerous.”  Rey’s eyes fill with tears.  “That’s it, isn’t it?  My family didn’t want me because I have the Force.”

 

Kylo stares at her.  He’s remembering Rey’s earlier comment about no one ever coming to Jakku.  About how people come to Jakku to hide.  Insight flashes up at him through the Force as he suddenly understands that Rey is right.  She was left here because she had the Force. 

 

No, not left.  She was hidden.

 

He thinks of old Lor San Tekka who keeps coming around to check on Rey. If San Tekka is mixed up in this, then San Tekka’s old friend Luke Skywalker might be too. It has been many months since Kylo Ren has had a decent lead on the whereabouts of the crafty Jedi fugitive.  This Church of the Force group bears watching, he thinks.   And so does Rey.   He makes a mental note to order the intel guys to infiltrate the nearby village and the local trading post.

 

"We got cut short today.  I want to come back, Rey," he tells her as he impulsively reaches to swipe a meandering tear away. 

 

That prompts Rey to begin furiously wiping at her eyes.  "I'm not the crying type," she grumbles.  He believes her.   When she looks up, she is more composed. "I'll be here, Kylo.  I’m always here.  You know where to find me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully no bad typos. Hubby stuck in the city while kids and I at the beach house for an overcast wintery weekend. May have had too much bourbon tonight as I typed this. And too much frozen pizza. So much for my low carb diet.
> 
> I think this story will be written in 3 parts. This is part 1, obviously. I would title it but . . . too much bouron straight.


	4. Chapter 4

Rey is loading up her bike with tools when she hears the sound of ion engines.  She looks up and shades her eyes from the early morning sun.  This isn’t a smuggler’s ship heading to the outpost.  It’s Kylo in his slick black shuttle.  Rey watches as the ship settles gently to the surface.  She’s waiting for him, staff planted in the sand and a smile on her face, when he disembarks.

“You’re just in time,” she announces.  “I’m headed to a wreck.  Unkar Plutt needs two intact servo motor units for the interior door of some ship.  The customer is impatient, so Plutt’s paying well for a change.”  She shrugs and offers, “If you want, you can tag along while I scavenge.”

“Sounds good,” he decides and they are off on her bike.  Minutes later, they are back at the _Ravager_ wreck.  Only this time, Rey takes him inside.

“When it comes to basic parts, this wreck is the best,” Rey tells him as she picks her way around the ship’s darkened corridors.  “It’s so large, that even with all the damage you can usually find something useful.” They are both holding a lantern to light their way.  Inside, the ship is dim and quiet.  Very quiet.  It had gone down with its full crew during the height of the battle, so there are skeletal, mostly mummified bodies everywhere.   Kylo has almost tripped over three already. 

“We’re almost beyond the fire damage.  Most of the rest of the ship is still in good shape on these levels once you get past the fire,” Rey advises.  Two more turns later and Rey finds something she likes.  Kylo stands to hold the lanterns aloft as she digs into her bag for tools and gets to work.

Rey makes conversation as she disassembles the doorframe.  She’s curious.  "So . . . do you go to old battlefields a lot?" she wants to know.  She is surprised that Kylo keeps coming back.  But she’s happy that he does.  “Is this a hobby of yours?

"I've been to a few," he admits.

"Yeah?  Like where?"

"Endor.  Scarif.  Hoth.  Places like that.”  He adds, “Mustafar counts too, I guess."

She looks up.  "Mustafar?  Is that Clone Wars?"

"Yes."

"Oh.  I guess I don’t know that battle.  Actually, I don't know much about the Clone Wars," she remarks.  Her lack of formal education is a constant source of frustration.  Rey knows that she’s not stupid.  She’s uneducated, and there is a difference.  "Taxation of trade routes sure seemed like a dumb reason to fight a war,” she grumbles, “let alone tear the galaxy apart for a decade.”

"The true issue was taxation without representation,” Kylo explains.  “Even then, the Separatist Rim Worlds had no power in the Senate.  The Core wanted to exploit the Rim's cheap labor and natural resources, the same as they do now."

Yes, and therein lies the Haves and Have Nots conflict that has plagued the galaxy for generations, Rey thinks.  Rich worlds versus poor worlds.  The Old Republic split in two over that tension.  And two generations later, the New Republic has fared no better in resolving it.  First the Separatists and now the First Order have championed the Rim’s cause.  "Taxation without representation,” Rey echoes softly.  “That sounds very First Order of you."

"I am First Order," Kylo reminds her.

 She is tugging hard on the door mechanism now.  Kylo moves to help but she shrugs him off.  She’s got this.  She’s a scavenger, so demo is her thing.  He can help by holding the light.  “Have you always liked history?” she asks between hard yanks. 

“Yes, since I was a little boy.  I spent about ten years of my life obsessed with the Clone Wars.  I knew everything there was to know about that conflict.  The politics, the battles, the weapons.  All of it.”

“And now you are obsessed with the Rebellion years?” she asks, glancing up at him.  “Is that why you keep coming back to this battlefield?”

“The Rebellion is different.  It’s personal.” 

Oh, yeah.  She forgot that his grandfather died at Endor. 

“My family is largely responsible for the Rebellion against the Empire,” Kylo reveals and he sounds bitter.

“Oh.”  And now Rey is confused because she thinks she remembers Kylo telling her that his grandfather was in the Imperial Navy.  “Did you have family who fought here at Jakku?”

“My father fought here.  My mother didn’t.  She had just had me.”

She thinks a moment.  “So, that makes you about thirty, right?”

“That’s right.  I turn thirty next month.”

“You’re as old as all this destruction then,” Rey thinks aloud.

“Yes.  How old are you?”

“I’m nineteen.  I think.  I could be twenty.  It’s all a little murky, to be honest.”  Like the rest of her past, it’s all a bit murky.  Rey is finished pulling the servo motors.  She stands to hold them up to the light for inspection. 

Kylo watches her and observes, “You look younger than nineteen, Rey.  But you act more mature than nineteen.”

She slants him a resentful look.  “No one stays young long on Jakku, Kylo.  You grow up fast here.”

“I meant it as a compliment,” he says softly.

“Oh.”  And now she is flustered.  Rey can’t remember ever receiving a compliment.  She quickly changes the topic.  “These look good,” she decides.  “Let’s go.” 

And now it’s Kylo’s turn to make conversation.  “What do you think about the Empire?” he asks as they head back.

Rey feels compelled to preface her opinion with an embarrassing qualification.  “I’ve read a lot on the holonet about the Empire, but I never went to school.  There aren’t any schools here, Kylo.  I’m not illiterate, but I’m no scholar.”  She says this as evenly as she can, but Rey can feel her face flame at the admission.  Of all the things Rey regrets about life on Jakku, her lack of education ranks high.

Kylo shrugs like he has anticipated this.  Or maybe he doesn’t care.  “I don’t want to know what the historians say.  I want to know what you think, Rey.”

She considers a moment.  “Well . . . like everything else, it seems like a reaction to the excesses of what came before.  The Old Republic was disorganized and divided, so the Empire emerged and ruled with a firm hand.  The Old Republic was maybe a little too democratic.  Bogged down trying to get everyone to agree.  And maybe that’s why the Empire was a little too autocratic.  Too harsh on dissent.  Too quick to use force rather than persuade.”

“What about the New Republic?”

“They talk a good game, don’t they?  But we never see any of their reforms or progress here.  Maybe if I lived on a Core World I would think otherwise.”  Rey makes a face and spouts the conventional wisdom of every Rim dweller.  “The New Republic is like the Old Republic—they’re only interested in the Core Worlds,” she grumbles.

He smiles at this.  “You sound like one of us, Rey.”

“Nah, I’m not First Order.  I’m not anything, Kylo.  I have opinions like everyone else but I don’t have any allegiances.  Look, don’t take this the wrong way.  But I’m more worried about my own life than the galaxy at large.  I don’t have any ideology.  And I don’t like war.”  She stops and points as she steps over another body.  “Look down, Kylo.  Look around you.  All I know is the aftermath of war.  I’m not big on war as the solution to problems.  The First Order seems to really like war.”

They are outside now.  She turns to Kylo.  “I need to go sell these servos to Plutt before someone else beats me to it.  I’m sure he told others about this commission and it’s first come, first served.  If you want, you can tag along.  Niima Outpost isn’t much to see.  But it’s what counts for civilization around here.”

Kylo shrugs and flashes that boyish grin she likes.  “With an endorsement like that, how can I refuse?”

“Good,” she says as she throws a leg over her speeder.  “Then let’s go.”

Niima Outpost is a homely, desperate looking sort of place even to Rey’s jaded eyes.  Thirty years ago, an opportunistic Hutt had landed on Jakku to set up shop salvaging off the battle debris.  Three decades later, the Hutts have moved on but the salvage business remains.    It’s conducted in a few open air, ramshackle buildings.  Beside them, several tents crop up daily manned by itinerant peddlers.  

As Rey parks the bike, she glances over her shoulder to Kylo.  “Keep your hood up and stick close.  Watch yourself.  This place can be a little rough.”

He looks amused by this comment but says nothing.  To a tourist like him, this must seem like some sort of adventure, she thinks. 

Rey untangles the two door servos from the speeder’s cargo net.  Together they stride towards Unkar Plutt’s kiosk.  “Plutt is a Crolute who runs the local economy.  Any salvage or repair transaction has to go through him.  That way he ensures he gets a cut of everything.”  She gives Kylo a hard look.  She wants him to understand what’s at stake.  “He’s a cheat and a thief, Kylo.  But he controls who eats and who doesn’t.  He holds all the power.  You don’t pick a fight with Unkar Plutt.”

“I understand power,” Kylo boasts.

She fixes him with a hard look.  “Not like this, you don’t.  Let me do the talking.”

They are early today, so the salvage line isn’t very long.  There are only about six transactions ahead of them.  Rey is relieved to see that none of the guys in line before her are selling door servos.  Beside her, Kylo keeps staring over at the old Corellian freighter Plutt pays her to work on now and then.

“Is that a YT-1300 freighter?” he nudges her to ask.

“Yeah, but that ship is garbage,” Rey tells him.  “What a piece of junk.  We mostly pull parts from it these days.”

“Rey—“  It’s Calla, one of the old women sitting cleaning parts for sale.   Calla walks over to lean in and speak under her breath so only Rey and Kylo hear.  “The slavers came in last night.  Watch yourself.”  Then she gestures with her eyes to a group of five men standing not far from Plutt’s kiosk.  The men have the look of off-worlders.  They blatantly survey the crowd.  Yep, they’re slavers alright.

That’s a good tip and Rey is grateful.  “Thanks, Calla,” she whispers back.  “I owe you one.  Stop by my walker anytime you need water.”  Then Rey abruptly shoves the servos into Kylo’s hands.  “Hold this,” she says as she grabs for the staff on her back.  She wants a weapon in her hand if there are slavers around.  “I don’t want to end up the bride to some Hutt.  Or worse,” she tells him.

Plutt refuses purchase to the next three sellers, turning them away emptyhanded.  She and Kylo are next up.  Kylo plunks the servos down and Rey does the talking.  “Excellent condition from the interior of the dreadnought.  These will work for years.”

Plutt examines them haphazardly.  “What you have brought me today is worth . . . one portion.”

“One portion each,” Rey confirms.  That was the deal.

“One portion for both,” Plutt counters firmly in his slow, deep voice. 

Rey shakes her head and is equally as firm.  “We had a deal yesterday.  One portion each.”

“And today they are worth one-half portion each, girl.”  The Crolute looks bored as he gestures to her.  “Sell or move along.”

Rey sighs.  “Sell.”  The junkboss takes the servos and slides a portion over to Rey.  Then he is on to the next sale.

“I hate that old cheat,” Rey complains as she walks away stashing the precious portion in her pack.  “Come on, let’s go,” she tells Kylo. 

“Give me a moment,” Kylo says under his breath.  “Let me fuck with that guy some.”

Rey’s eyes widen.  She doesn’t need to make an enemy of Unkar Plutt.  “No, Kylo!” she hisses after him.  “Drop it.  Let’s go.”  But he doesn’t listen.  Instead, Kylo starts saying words slowly and deliberately as Calla steps up next to trade.  “What she has brought you today is worth ten portions,” Kylo says in a strange voice and Rey has no idea what he’s doing.  Unkar Plutt answers in an equally strange voice, only he’s speaking to Calla and not to Kylo.  “What you have brought me today is worth ten portions.”   And that doesn’t make sense because Calla has an assortment of basic replacement parts for shielding.  Altogether, it’s maybe a half portion.  Definitely not ten portions. 

Rey is about to ask what’s going on when she glances over to check on her speeder and sees two of the off-worlders poking at it.  Great.  Just what she needs.  Rey never goes looking for confrontations but she’s not about to let those guys walk away with her only mode of transport.   Staff in hand, Rey stalks over but keeps her distance.

“Back off the bike.  That’s mine,” Rey announces in her most gruff voice.

The pair look over her over dismissively.  “It’s ours if we want it, girl.”

Rey watches in frustration as one of the men throws his leg over her bike and starts flipping switches.  He’s about to make off with it.  Rey leaps forward to bring her staff crashing down hard on his neck and the guy tumbles to the sand.  “Hey!” objects his companion and now it’s a fight.  But fists are no match for Rey’s staff.  The slaver can’t get close enough to land a punch and down he goes too.   

Satisfied, Rey lowers her weapon.  And that’s a mistake because the other three off-worlders come to join the fight.  Three on one more than evens the advantage of Rey’s staff and she takes a hard swipe to the chin.  Her dazed moment of recovery is the distraction the trio need to knock her staff from hands.

“She’s young.  I bet under all that dirt she’s pretty,” one remarks and now they’re trying to capture her instead of hurt her.  That was probably their ruse all along, Rey realizes.   They must have seen her ride up on the bike.  She feels like an idiot for falling for their trick. 

But she’s Rey of Jakku and she lives to survive.  She doesn’t fight fair and she’s not about to be taken alive by slavers.  She kicks, she hits, she bites and she spits.  And, as usual, the good people of Niima Outpost look on from afar with mild interest.  No one gets involved in other people’s affairs here on Jakku.  There is no one to help her.  

No one except the tall man in the black hood who likes history. 

Rey is too immersed in the struggle to see Kylo approach.  But she hears his voice loud and clear.  “Let her go and no one dies.”  And then there is the strangest sound.  It’s an electric snap followed by another snap and then a hiss that becomes a loud buzz.

And now, for the first time, the small crowd of onlookers reacts. 

Two of the three are focused on Kylo now as they pull blasters and start firing.  But somehow they are the ones that go down from the shots.  They each fall with a thud to the sand.   The third man ceases his struggle with Rey and turns to run.  But he’s frozen midstride.  Rey whirls, confused by everything that is happening so fast.  She sees Kylo standing there.  He has a red laser sword lit in his right hand and his left hand extended high in a fist.  Calmly, he walks past her to the man attempting to flee.  With a twirling swing, he takes the man’s head off.  It falls and rolls to within inches of Rey’s boot. 

“Oh!” is all Rey can think to say as she scoots back. 

The man who Rey had beat off her bike starts to stir on the ground.  Kylo stalks over to him and casually drives his sword straight through his chest.  Then he turns back to Rey.  “Are we done here?”

“Yeah.  Yeah, we’re done,” she manages weakly. 

“Then let’s get out of here.”

Rey nods as she stares at the sparking sword in his hand.  Kylo turns it off as she collects her staff.  She hops on her bike, he climbs on the back, Rey guns the engine and they’re away.  Minutes later when they arrive back at her AT-AT, Rey is still panting from the fight and the adrenaline.   She hops off the bike and instinctively starts backing away from Kylo.  She grabs her staff and raises it defensively.

He looks wounded by this reaction.  His eyes find hers.  “Don’t be afraid,” he rasps.  “You never need to fear me, Rey.”

But Rey is afraid.  She looks at Kylo a long moment as she connects the dots.  Then her eyes find the sword hilt hanging at his waist that she had stupidly believed to be a tool. 

“Don’t be afraid,” he repeats.

His calm, quiet tone reassures her.  Rey nods.  Then she drops her staff, puts her hands on her hips and challenges him.  “So you’re not a Kylo in the First Order.  You’re THE Kylo of the First Order.  Kylo Ren himself.”  Her voice catches as she whispers, “All this time, my friend was really Kylo Ren . . . ”

He looks her in the eye.  “Yes.”

“You’re the one the Resistance calls a Sith like in the old stories the Church of the Force guy tells?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”  Rey crosses her arms and takes a moment to digest the meaning of this.  And now she is self-consciously smoothing her hair and shifting her stance.  Rey hadn’t seen this coming.  And she feels like an utter fool for that.  Plus, now her friend Kylo the history buff Empire enthusiast suddenly seems scary and intimidating.  She looks down and kicks at the sand.  “Well, uh . . . thank you for saving me, Kylo Ren.  You killed those men to save me . . . ”   Four of those five off-world guys are dead now, she realizes.  That’s a pretty high body count for around here.  But probably not to the chief butcher of the First Order.  He’s killed thousands, she thinks.  No, maybe it’s hundreds of thousands. 

He seems nonplussed by her statement and that seems very Kylo Ren.  He walks forward to her.  “Rey, you took a beating.  Are you hurt?”

She shakes her head no.   It’s bruises, nothing more.  She’ll be sore for a day or two, that’s all. 

“Good.”  He steps closer now as softly he explains, “I don’t like slavery, Rey.  My grandfather was a slave.  So was my great-grandmother.  My mother once even managed to get herself enslaved and chained to a Hutt.  No one should be a slave.  Least of all you, Rey.”

She gives him a questioning look and he grins at her.  “You’d be a horrible slave.  You’re far from obedient.”   

Rey smiles a little at this.   It breaks some of the tension and now he’s back to being the Kylo she knows and not the infamous man whose fearsome reputation precedes him.   She eyes him another long moment and he smiles back as if sensing her unease.  And now Rey wonders aloud, “So . . . uh . . . where’s the helmet?  Is it on the shuttle?  And the dress—where’s your dress?”

He blinks at her.  “Dress?”

“You know, your medieval knight dress looking thing—“

He raises an eyebrow and blinks.  “Do you mean my surcoat?”

“Is that what it’s called?”

“It’s not called a dress,” he informs her primly. 

His wounded male ego makes Rey laugh a little.  She exhales and more tension leaves her.  She takes a deep breath.  “Well, go on,” she tells him with a wave of her hand towards his ship.  “Put it on.  I want to see.”

“What?” he’s surprised by this request.

“Come on—go put on the whole get up for me.  I want to see the full Kylo Ren.”

He looks half amused, half annoyed.  But he stalks up into his shuttle anyway.  A few minutes later he emerges and, yep, that’s Kylo Ren.  Rey stands at the bottom of the ramp, a little scared and a little excited by the sight of the towering masked warrior.  Not an inch of his pale skin shows anywhere, just a few tufts of dark hair that stick down beneath his collar.   “Wow,” she breathes out as she takes an involuntary step back.  She’s impressed.  “You look amazing,” she approves.   Because if your goal is to intimidate, then Kylo Ren’s outfit succeeds and then some.  He is a sight to behold.  And he doesn’t even have his sword lit.  “You’re very scary.”

“And hot.  Jakku makes this very hot.”

The helmet amplifies his voice louder and deeper and it’s perfect.  “You sound so Darth Vader!” she squeals, clapping her hands.  “Say something else!”

“Like what?”

“Oh, something Vader would say.  How about ‘We shall have peace.’”

“That was Palpatine.”

“Oh.  Right.  ‘I will not let this Republic, which has stood for a thousand years . . . uh . . .’”

“That was Palpatine too.”

“Oh.  Okay, well, how about something First Order.  Try this:  ‘All remaining systems will bow down to the First Order.’”

“That’s Hux.”

“Oh.  Yeah.  Well, say something you say.”

“I mostly give orders.  I don’t give speeches.”

There is a loud hiss as he unlatches his helmet on both sides and drags it off.  Intrigued, she steps forward to take it from him and nearly drops it.  “Yikes, this is heavy!”

“You should try wearing it.”

And that gives her an idea.  “Can I?”

“No.”  He snatches it back.

“So Kylo Ren himself saved me from slavers,” she beams up at him.  “That was very dashing of you,” she confesses girlishly.  She recalls vividly the moment of the fight when she had turned to see Kylo and her heart had leapt with hope.  Rey of Jakku has been struggling completely on her own for so long that his intervention was completely unexpected.  And very touching in a way few people can relate to.  “You were very heroic,” she whispers. 

He smirks and shrugs off this praise.  “I’m used to people thinking I’m the villain.”

“Not today, Kylo.  Today, you were my hero.”  Rey could not be more sincere.   The dark prince of the First Order had saved her from slavery.   In fairytales, frogs turn into princes.  But on Jakku, apparently, it’s tourists.

“So you aren’t going to complain that I should have arrested those slavers and given them a fair trial?”

“No.”  This too is sincere.  “There are no courts on Jakku, Kylo.  There are no trials.  Disputes get resolved like you saw today.  Maybe that’s not the ideal solution.  But it’s generally the only solution.”   Rey is not going to fault Kylo for how he acted.  She looks up, her eyes searching his for understanding.  She wants him to know how grateful she is that he was her champion.  No one sticks their neck out for anyone on Jakku.  It’s every man for himself.  What Kylo did today was exceptional in her experience.  And Rey of Jakku will be eternally grateful.  “I’m not glad those men are dead, but I’m glad that I’m alive and free.  And that was thanks to you, Kylo.”  She stares deep into those intense dark eyes as she repeats, “Thank you, Kylo.”

Without warning, he crosses the three steps between them and plants a kiss on her lips.  It’s a slow, chaste kiss.  Her first ever kiss.  It’s over just as Rey begins to enjoy it.  She stands blinking in surprise. 

“Goodbye, Rey.  Stay out of slavery until I get back.”  Then he puts his helmet back on, marches up the ramp into his shuttle and flies away.


	5. Chapter 5

"Come see," Rey tugs him to the top of the giant sunbaked sand ridge.  "There,” she points.  “Look down."

 

Dutifully, Kylo does.  There are green sprigs with buds carpeting the small valley below.  Rey beams at them proudly.  "It rained here.  After a rain, it takes three days for the sand to bloom.  On the first morning after the rain, you see flecks of green.  On the second morning, you see this.   And tomorrow morning, there will be flowers."

 

Flowers in the desert.  Who knew?  "And the next day?" Kylo asks.

 

"They spread their seeds and die,” Rey tells him matter of fact.  No one is sentimental about death on Jakku, he’s learning.  Whether it’s people or flowers.    “Then, the cycle begins again the next time it rains.  Isn't it wonderful?” she gushes.  “Make a wish, Kylo.  Here on Jakku, we make a wish when it rains."

 

He makes a wish.  And it's a selfish wish for another kiss from Rey.  Already, he has spent way too much time reliving that single chaste kiss with Rey.  The Coruscant girls he picks up for the night are all forgettable, but that single kiss from Rey is burned forever into his memory. 

 

"Did you make a wish?  You have to make a wish," she cajoles.  “Rain wishes are mandatory.”

 

He nods.  “Mission accomplished.”

 

"Good," she approves.  She takes one last long look at the green valley.  And then Rey comes out with one of those honest things she says from time to time that utterly floors him.  "Someday, after my family comes back, I'm going to go off-world and see a tree.   I would like to see a tree."

 

Rey says this so wistfully that it moves him.  And now he's thinking crazy thoughts about how he would like to show Rey a tree.  Maybe even the whole galaxy.  That's how into this girl he is.  Rey is so different than other women.   She is a mix of jaded pragmatism and sweet innocence.  An hour ago, Kylo watched Rey casually step over bodies in a downed Imperial cruiser.  And now she is childlike in her delight over flowers.  This girl makes wishes when it rains and wants to see a tree.  But she also swings her stick with intent to harm and curses in Huttese.  All Kylo can think right now is that he wants to kiss her and whisk her away from this wasteland to a place full of life and beauty.  Where she will have plenty of food and water.  Where she will be safe and happy.  Where he can kiss her and more. 

 

However did she end up here in this miserable life, he wonders.  Was she abandoned or was she hidden?  Or maybe even stolen?  Such a mystery this girl is.  She doesn't trust the Plutt guy who raised her or the local religious do-gooders who want to help her.  But she trusts him, a random man she bumped into in a chance meeting.  No, Kylo corrects himself.  It wasn't chance.  It was the Force.  She even knows now that he is the First Order’s notorious Kylo Ren.  But she seems to accept that the way Rey accepts everything else.  Because Rey is a girl who adapts and copes and moves on.  It’s very admirable, he thinks.

 

As they climb back on her speeder, Rey tells him that she plans to come back first thing tomorrow morning.  "It's too bad that you will miss the flowers," she sighs.  "They are very special." 

 

"Then, I'll stay."  The answer comes out of Kylo’s mouth before he thinks better of it.  And those three words kick off what is perhaps the best mundane night of his life.

 

It begins with an early dinner.  He and Rey raid his shuttle for food to supplement the two portions she earned today.  "What is all this stuff?" she asks as she pokes through the small kitchenette on the shuttle.  "Guy junk food," he explains as he sorts through the mix of his knight's favorite snacks.  “We spend a lot of time in hyperspace.  Everyone gets the munchies.”  Rey is more intrigued by Nestor's protein bars than she is by Kylo’s marshmallow cereal, but Rey takes them both to try.   The drink options are mostly beer but Kylo grabs a soda too.  It’s time to broaden Rey's horizons beyond water.

 

It's not an elegant meal but to Rey it is a veritable feast.  Kylo gamely suffers through Rey's blue protein muffin.  She worked hard for it and he will not turn his nose up at it.  The muffin is dry and tough and tasteless, just as he fears.  But filling too.  Rey loves Nestor’s protein bar but she finds his cereal too sweet.  So Kylo just sits back with the box pulling out handfuls at a time to stuff in his mouth.  The soda gives Rey the hiccups which makes them both laugh.  The beer makes her silly after just a few sips. 

 

"You haven’t drunk alcohol before, have you?" he chuckles.   He thinks he knows the answer.

 

"Nope."  And that's obvious when after finishing the entire beer Rey laughs too hard and slides out of her chair to the floor.  As she sits there laughing even harder, the hiccups come back.  Now, she's mortified and it's adorable.

 

Suddenly, Rey remembers something.  “Wait a moment,” she tells him as she scoots over to the wall.  He watches as she painstakingly scratches another hash mark at the end of the bottommost row.  “I always do it at dinner,” she confesses as if this little ritual is a secret she is confiding to him.  “To show that I was here.”

 

And that comment just slays him.  For just as he suspected, her tally marks are a calendar.  And now he knows that they are also a victory lap of some sort.  It’s Rey saying ‘I lived to see another day.’   For the castaway girl who thinks she doesn’t matter, this is a moment of assertion.  A chance to say that she was here and she mattered.  If only to herself.  Gods, he thinks, this girl’s life is hard.  She deserves better.  How he hates the New Republic for their empty promises to people like Rey. 

 

She comes back to the table and manages to stay in her chair now.  "So how are things at the outpost?" he asks.  He’s been wondering about the aftermath of his last sojourn to Jakku.

 

Rey smiles at him. "No one has tried to enslave me lately.   And thanks to you, the Church of the Force may have a few more converts these days."

 

"Really?  Why?"

 

"Because half of Jakku thinks you were Luke Skywalker."

 

He makes a face. "Luke Skywalker??"   Really?   Kylo can’t decide if that is more humiliating or offensive.   How old Snoke would laugh if he knew this tale.

 

“Yep.  Now those crazies are certain that their prophet will return.”  Rey shrugs.  "I guess people see a guy with a lightsaber helping someone and punishing evildoers and they automatically think Jedi hero."

 

"Even with my lightsaber?" Does no one watch the holonet on this shithole planet, he thinks.  The newsfeeds love to show him swinging his sword.

 

"Yeah, well, the other half of Jakku thinks you're Kylo Ren.  You know--because of the sword.   You've got a very distinctive sword."

 

Now, he’s feeling better.  "I'm a distinctive guy,” he smirks. 

 

She nods and looks very serious suddenly.  "I was a fool not to realize who you were.  Even without the getup, there were a lot of clues that you were Kylo Ren.”  She looks sheepish now as she starts rattling them off.  “The name, the shuttle, the politics, the Force, the Empire and all your black . . . "

 

"I wasn't trying to lie to you."  This is true.  Kylo had never envisioned that he would ever make a return trip to Jakku, let alone become friends with the girl who slid down a rope into his life.

 

"Yeah, I know."  She cocks her head at him. "It must be a lot of work to be Kylo Ren conquering the galaxy.   Why do you keep coming around here?"

 

He looks at the slightly drunken, desert vagabond across from him.  He decides to level with her. “You’re why I keep coming around here, Rey.  I like that you're not afraid of me.  I like that you want to be my friend.  I like you."  That might have been a little too honest because now Rey is blushing furiously beneath her tan.  He hastens to add, “Plus, there’s the sandstorms, the slavers and the sinking fields.  Really, Jakku is where it’s at these days.”

 

“I bet you’ve been everywhere in the galaxy.  This is probably the worst planet you’ve ever been to, right?” Rey asks bluntly.

 

“Yep.  Pretty much.”  He eyes her worn hammock hanging behind her.  "There are plenty of bunks in the shuttle if you want an actual bed.  And a shower.  You can have all the privacy you want, Rey."

 

Her eyes light up.  "A shower?  You have a shower?"

 

Ten minutes later, Rey is taking a drunken shower, laughing and repeatedly dropping the soap.  He keeps catching intriguing glimpses under the shower door of her naked on her hands and knees looking for the soap.   Eventually, she emerges squeaky clean, wrapped in a towel and happy.  Very, very happy. 

 

"Here," he tosses her one of his t-shirts he found after rummaging through the crew lockers, along with the smallest pair of men’s briefs he could find.  "None of my knights are small guys, Rey.  This was the best I could find."  But Rey doesn't seem to mind.  She disappears about the corner to dress.  When she reappears, the t-shirt is more like a dress, but it's clean and she's covered. 

 

When he himself finally wanders out from the shower, he finds Rey curled up on the couch in the back watching podracing.  He grabs another beer and joins her.  The podraces end and the newsfeed from Coruscant plays.  There is an awkward moment when he is featured in a story on the First Order's political intrigues in the Mid Rim.  Some self-important news analyst remarks that all these machinations may be peaceful to date but it's only a matter of time before Supreme Leader Snoke sends in Kylo Ren to start killing people.  And then the newsfeed cuts to footage of him in his full regalia with sword blazing marching with a legion of stormtroopers behind him.

 

He glances warily over at Rey to gauge her reaction.  She takes it in stride.   No doubt it’s not the first time she’s seen him on the newsfeed.

 

"You need a cape," Rey decides as she reaches over to take another drink of his beer.  "Didn't Vader have a cape?  I think you should have a cape too.  Go the full Vader, Kylo."

 

Whatever reaction Kylo was anticipating, this wasn’t it.  He mulls over Rey’s suggestion.  “I have his old cape,” he reveals.  “Well, one of them.  I have Vader’s old castle too.”

 

“Vader had a castle?”  Rey sits up and turns to look at him.  Then she considers a minute.  “Yes, of course, Darth Vader would have a castle.  That seems fitting.”  She gives Kylo a curious look.  “How did you manage to buy Darth Vader’s castle?  You must be rich.”

 

“I didn’t buy it.  I inherited it in a fashion.”

 

“From old Grandpa Vader?” Rey teases.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes??” she squeaks.  “You mean that—“

 

“Yes.  Darth Vader was my grandfather,” Kylo confirms with quiet pride.  “My mother was Vader’s daughter.”  He chooses his words carefully now.  “My mother was legitimate but the relationship is not acknowledged.  She and Vader were estranged during his lifetime.”

 

Rey looks confused.  “But I thought you said your grandfather was a slave.”

 

“He was.”

 

Rey’s look of skepticism becomes surprise and then morphs into amazement.  “He sure came a long way in life,” she says with admiration. 

 

“Yes, he did.  Vader was born a slave on the desert Rim world Tatooine.”

 

“And he rose to rule the galaxy,” Rey marvels.  “Well, I guess that means there’s hope for a scavenger girl from the desert Rim world Jakku.”  She sits back and muses aloud, “Darth Vader is your grandfather.  That is so cool.”  Rey is impressed and in that moment he loves her for it.  “So, how come you aren’t Darth Ren?” Rey wants to know.  “Or Kylo Vader?  Wait—how does this naming thing work where you’re from?”

 

“Darth is the formal title of a Sith lord.  I am not a full Sith yet, Rey.”

 

“So you really are a Sith?  Because I figured those Resistance holonet rumors might be false.”

 

Kylo looks her in the eye.  “I am Sith.  The rumors are true, Rey.  I’m a Sith Apprentice now.  Not yet a full Sith lord.”

 

She shoots him a funny look.  “So what do you have to do to become a full Sith lord—go kill a Jedi or something to prove your Sithness?”

 

Yes.  “More or less,” he tells her.  “I have to kill Luke Skywalker.”

 

She scoffs at this.  “Is he even real?  I mean, I know he was real.  But is he even still alive?”

 

“Oh, yes, he is real.  Very real.  Very dangerous.  Very alive.”    

 

“Oh.  I thought that the Church of the Force people just made up most of what they say about him.  They have a lot of stories about people who sound too good to be true.”

 

Yes, he can imagine their version of his uncle is a little different from his own perspective.  Again, Kylo looks Rey in the eye.  “Luke Skywalker is a vigilante and a zealot, Rey.  Trust me.  I know the guy.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Now, Kylo changes the topic.  He’s got Rey snuggled up a foot away on the couch in his shuttle.  He doesn’t want to waste this opportunity talking about his uncle.  Luke Skywalker is a buzzkill if there ever was one.  "So what do you do at night usually?" he asks.  He's curious.

 

"Mostly, I fly simulations.  I've logged a lot of hours on the old simulator I rehabbed.  I've never actually flown in space.  Once or twice Unkar Plutt has let me test out a ship I worked on here on the surface.  But that’s it."

 

So Rey wants to fly?  That gives him an idea.  Kylo puts down his beer and climbs to his feet.  “Come on,” he urges.  “Let’s fly.”  He takes her to the cockpit and slumps into the pilot’s seat.  Then he nods to the co-pilot’s chair.  “Sit down.  Let’s do this.”

 

Rey’s eyes are wide and she looks excited.  This is even better than her flowers, he thinks.  “Where are we going?” she asks breathlessly as he initiates the shuttle’s warm up cycle. 

 

“Name the place.  We’ve got until morning, right?”

 

Rey thinks a moment.  Then she gets a wicked look on her face.  “Show me a First Order capital ship.  One of your big illegal star destroyers.  I’d love to see one of those actually up and running.  Not crashed and falling apart.”

 

Kylo thinks a moment and then punches at a few screens.  Has the _Finalizer_ jumped during his absence?  No, it hasn’t.  Perfect.  “My ship is nearby.  We’ll go take a look,” he decides. 

 

As they lift off, Rey peppers him with questions about his shuttle.  How fast is the hyperdrive?  How heavy is the shielding?  Is it Corellian or Kuat produced?  What is the weaponry?   Rey is very much a techie.  Han Solo would love this girl, he thinks.  They could talk power couplings and hyperdrive motivators for days. 

 

As luck would have it, the _Finalizer_ is close enough that there’s not even a need to jump to hyperspace.  Instead, Kylo goes full throttle so Rey can feel the shuttle’s top speed.  He glances over and she’s grinning aimlessly out the cockpit window, her face lit from within.  But she’s also starting to shiver, he notes.  “It’s cold in space, Rey.”  Probably especially cold for a desert dweller like her, Kylo thinks.  “Go grab a blanket from a bunk in the back,” he urges.  But she declines.  She doesn’t want to miss a moment. 

 

Soon, his flagship star destroyer looms into view.  It’s in planetary orbit facing the local system’s suns and that makes for perfect lighting.  The _Finalizer_ gleams stark white against the inky black of space.   The ship hails Kylo’s approaching shuttle expecting him to land.  Kylo Ren’s shuttle jumps the line for landing privileges, of course.  But Kylo ignores the hail because he’s too busy watching Rey. 

 

Her mouth hangs open as she stands now to better observe the _Finalizer_.  “The bridge is so different from the Imperial ships,” she says softly.  “The communications towers too.”

 

Kylo nods.  “Same dagger shape, same basic layout, but lots of updates.”

 

Rey’s eyes are nearly popping out of her head.  “Go around back and show me the engines. I want to see the sublight engines.”

 

He is being hailed again.  Rey looks over at him warily.  “I guess your guys think this is weird, huh?  You probably don’t case your own ship much.  Are you going to get in trouble for this?”  Rey looks worried.

 

He shrugs.  He’s Kylo Ren and he answers only to one man in the galaxy.  And his Master could care less about whether his Apprentice flies around his ship to impress a girl.  “I’m known for my eccentricities, Rey,” he admits softly.  And now he radios back to the ship, asking who’s on the bridge.  It’s Hux.  Excellent.  Kylo turns back to Rey.  “Let’s go buzz the bridge.  It will piss off Hux.”  He moves the shuttle to attack position and skims the entire upper surface of the ship all the way up to the bridge, picking up speed as he goes.  It gives Rey a good long look at upper decks. 

 

“Wow . . . “ she breathes out her awe.  “It’s just marvelous, Kylo.”

 

“Get ready,” he tells her.

 

“For what?”

 

“To flip off General Hux.  I hate that guy.”

 

“He’s the redhead, right?”

 

“Yep.  Here goes.  Now!”

 

Obscene gesture completed, Kylo turns to high five Rey.  “Well done, scavenger.”    He’s laughing, she’s laughing.  It's fun.  And that is refreshing because Kylo Ren doesn't have a lot of fun.  “I can be juvenile,” he admits aloud, and it’s true.  Especially where Hux is concerned.  That guy gets under his skin.  It’s too bad he can’t kill him.

 

“If this is what you do after two beers, I’d hate to see what you do after three, Kylo,” Rey observes with a smile. 

 

He shrugs and thinks a moment.  “Maybe a warning shot across the bridge?”

 

“And after four beers?”

 

“I might crash into the bridge.”

 

“Beats dying of thirst or starvation,” Rey suggests.

 

“I suppose,” he agrees.  “But that’s a humiliating end for a Sith.  We’re supposed to die with a sword in our hand.  Not in a drunken crash.”

 

“It might take out your buddy Hux too.”  Rey’s eyes are twinkling as she suggests this. 

 

“You always find a silver lining, don’t you, Rey,” he observes.  Suddenly he’s serious.  “Always looking for flowers in the desert.”

 

Rey looks embarrassed now.  She looks away and grumbles, “What else can you do?  Jakku isn’t exactly pleasant.”

 

“Rey,” he tells her solemnly, “I admire you for that.”  He means it and she knows it.  Rey blushes. 

 

He takes the shuttle back to Jakku and beckons her over to him.  “You land it, Rey.”

 

“Really?” she squeaks.

 

“Sure. Why not?  What’s the worst that can happen?”

 

“I crash and we die,” Rey says bluntly.  She’s always so straightforward.  There is no artifice in this girl and he loves that.  Passive aggressive people annoy him.  He prefers Rey’s direct approach.   Kylo Ren understands directness like he understands aggression. 

 

“I’ll stay here to save us.”  He pats his knee and Rey gingerly takes a seat.  Then, even more gingerly she takes the controls.  He sits back to watch her and she does everything correct. 

 

“I’ve flown those old Lambda class shuttles on the simulator,” she explains.  “They’re not much different from this.”  She half rises to bend and reach for the landing gear release and he has to fight to keep his hands to himself.  Rey’s tiny ass might be bony, but it looks good to him.  Especially from this view. 

 

Rey sets the shuttle down expertly on the sand and then half-turns back to smile at him. 

 

“Well done,” he approves. 

 

She blushes again.  “Thanks.”

 

And now he can’t help himself.  Rey is twisted in his lap, wearing a First Order t-shirt and not much else.   She smells of shampoo instead of her usual sweat.   And she’s happy as can be.  As usual, it doesn’t take much to make this girl happy.  Altogether, Kylo is charmed.  He catches her eye and then his arms wrap around her and now he’s kissing her again.   This is his Jakku rain wish come true—another kiss from Rey. 

 

He’s making the most of it and she’s not stopping him.  His hands are in her still damp hair and his tongue is in her mouth.   This is like buzzing the _Finalizer_ bridge or destroying an instrument panel with his sword—Kylo knows he shouldn’t be doing this.  But he’s doing it anyway.  He’s a Sith and when it comes to emotions, he is impulsive.  Anger and frustration always get the better of him.  And tonight, lust does too. 

 

Rey is young, inexperienced and unsophisticated.  Completely ripe for the plucking.  But Sith that he is, Kylo isn’t looking to corrupt this girl.  Her innocence and goodness are what appeal to him, especially in the stark contrast they pose to her vicious homeworld Jakku.   And oddly enough, Kylo keeps feeling like she’s the one seducing him and not the other way around.   The Light is beguiling like that, he knows. 

 

When they both come up for air, Kylo forces himself to put a stop to the make out session.  Because if he doesn’t stop now, things are going to get out of hand.  “You had better go sleep in your hammock,” he whispers and Rey nods her understanding.  Then Kylo takes a cold shower and crashes in a bunk on his shuttle. 

 

In the morning, they take the speeder out to the valley and, sure enough, there are tiny white flowers everywhere.  "It looks like snow," he tells Rey, thinking of Starkiller Base. 

 

"Snow in the desert?" she teases.  "How unlikely is that?"

 

It's as unlikely as Rey, he thinks.  "This is really special," he says softly.  He looks at Rey now and thinks that she too is something special.  She is the rare flower in the desert.  She is the Light and the hope amid so much decay and death.  "I'm glad I stayed."

 

"Me too."


	6. Chapter 6

"Rey."  Kylo is so surprised that he speaks her name aloud.

 

He senses Rey’s presence in the Force as he stands on the _Finalizer_ bridge listening to Hux monitor the chase on Jakku.  The missing droid has been spotted and the First Order is in pursuit.   But none of this has anything to do with Rey.  Why is he sensing Rey?

 

Kylo is back at Jakku but this time it's not to see his favorite scavenger.   The surveillance on the Church of the Force village had produced a lead.  Two days ago, the First Order intercepted a transmission from old San Tekka to the Resistance offering a map.  It was the first credible lead Kylo had uncovered in months.  For if anyone could discover where the first Jedi temple is, it was probably the old Force nut adventurer Lor San Tekka.  Sure enough, a Resistance X-wing landed last night under cover of darkness and that was the excuse Kylo Ren needed to invade.   

 

The raid had gone badly.   Kylo nabbed the X-wing pilot but he lost the real prize.  Now the map is in a droid somewhere in the desert down on Jakku.  In his frustration, Kylo had executed San Tekka and ordered his believers to be slaughtered.  It's harsh treatment but these Church of the Force types are natural Resistance sympathizers.  They will never be of any benefit to the First Order now or in the future.  Plus, destroying the village is a clear message to all who would dare to aid the Resistance.  If you're not with the First Order, then you are an enemy of the First Order.   And the First Order deals swiftly and decisively with its enemies. 

 

Once this business with the Church of the Force village is cleaned up and Kylo has the droid with the map, then perhaps he will have time to sneak down to see Rey.  He would really like to see Rey while he's here.   Who knows when he will make it back to the Western Reaches again.  With the Starkiller weapon about to come online, the war is sure to heat up fast.  And that means there will be fewer stolen days to spend wandering around wrecks on Jakku.

 

There it is again.  Rey’s presence in the Force.  Kylo concentrates, shutting out the bustle of the bridge that surrounds him.  Where are you Rey, he wonders.   What is the Force telling him about Rey?

 

Hux marches up to sneer his triumph, "The droid is ours.   We've disabled the runaway freighter it's on and we've towed it in with the tractor beam."

 

"The droid stole a freighter?" Kylo is still trying to piece together the scenario and to understand what, if anything, this has to do with Rey. 

 

"It had help from some girl."

 

"What girl?" Kylo growls as he whirls on Hux.

 

"That's for you to find out, Ren.  She’s on the freighter we just captured.  Go interrogate her.  See if you can find something useful out this time."

 

"Don't hurt her!" Kylo barks as he takes off for the hangar bay.  With each step, he feels himself coming closer to Rey.  Yes, his scavenger is definitely the girl on the freighter.  His pace quickens and the crew shrink from his path.  It's very useful to be feared, he has learned.  Especially when you want to get somewhere fast.  Some of his troopers are far too trigger happy and he doesn't want Rey killed by some hotshot angling for a promotion.

 

He bursts into the hangar bay.  But before Kylo sees Rey, he sees the freighter.  The same one he remembers from the Niima Outpost.  Is this the ship from his childhood?  As he gets closer, Kylo spies the square satellite dish that replaced the one Uncle Lando broke off inside the second Death Star.  Kylo heard that war story more times than he could count growing up.  Yes, this piece of shit freighter has to be the long lost Falcon.

 

And that’s the first sign that the Force is at work today.  Because, of course, the captured ship with the map to Skywalker is the Millennium Falcon.  It figures.  How Han Solo would howl if he knew Kylo Ren had been the one to find it.  And how fitting that it was stashed on the junkyard world of Jakku.  But what the Hell is Rey doing on it with the droid?

 

The Falcon’s ramp is down and the ship is surrounded by troopers with guns drawn.  Kylo stalks up and assumes command from the lieutenant in charge.  "Set for stun," Kylo orders.  “If anyone hurts the girl onboard, you die,” he informs the lieutenant.

 

Then, he waits. 

 

First down the ramp rolls a BB unit painted orange.  It's under manual override control from the First Order techs who have hacked the droid and now radio it instructions.  It might be a Resistance droid, but it will obey most commands from the universal override.   As Kylo hopes, the droid easily surrenders the data key with the map.  Luckily, the pilot who stuck the map in the droid did not have time to bypass the normal programming to order a self-destruct.

 

Kylo stares down at the final piece of the puzzle that a trooper hands to him. He has been searching for clues to the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker for many years.  Finally, the Force has shown him the path.  First, it brought he and Rey together and that allowed him to learn the whereabouts of old Lor San Tekka.  And then, sure enough, the old man had contacted the Resistance.   All that surveillance he ordered had finally borne fruit.  Kylo closes his gloved fingers around the map.  His uncle is as good as dead now. 

 

"Where's the girl?" he demands of the lieutenant. 

 

"Inside.  She's putting up a fight."

 

"She is not to be harmed," Kylo growls.  He's preparing to go fetch Rey himself when a squad of troopers appears at the top of the Falcon's ramp.  Rey is in their midst, looking pale and scared.  The troopers prod her down the ramp and that's when she sees him. She stops in her tracks.  And that is apparently the last resistance from Rey which will be tolerated.  The lead trooper grabs her roughly by the neck and drags her to Kylo where she is unceremoniously cast face down sprawled at his feet.

 

"Sir, this is the fugitive with the droid.  Resistance, no doubt."

 

Hardly, Kylo thinks.  More likely, Rey was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

 

The lieutenant at Kylo's side orders that Rey be cuffed and taken to detention. But Kylo ignores this order.  He sinks down before Rey as she slowly raises her head. 

 

He brushes her cheek with his gloved hand.   He can feel her confusion and terror screaming out at him in the Force.  He wants to soothe her.  To reassure her.  "Rey, are you hurt?"

 

She shakes her head no as she picks herself off the floor.  He rises first and offers her his hand.  She accepts his help and stiffly climbs to her feet.  Rey stares up at his mask a moment, as if trying to see through to the man within.  Then, impulsively she throws herself into his arms like a child needing comfort. 

 

"Kylo--" she breathes, holding tightly. 

 

"You are safe, Rey," he promises as he lays a gloved hand on her head to clasp her to him.  "No one will hurt you."

 

A trooper stands at the ready with cuffs, uncertain what to do.  No one had anticipated this reception for the prisoner.  "Sir?"

 

Kylo waves away the trooper.  "She is one of us.   I will debrief her."

 

He takes Rey to his quarters. She is so preoccupied with her experience that she doesn’t even look around as they exit the hangar bay.  And that is very telling for the girl who had once gaped at the mere exterior of his great ship.  Once inside the privacy of his quarters, Kylo removes his helmet and takes her in his arms.  She’s shaking still. 

 

Rey starts babbling out words into his chest.  "I found the droid last night with Teedo . . . I took it to Niima to sell but Plutt's thugs . . .  and then the First Order came  . . .  I shot down three TIEs  . . .  it was me or them . . . "  Her mind is racing.   She's still so pumped and scared. 

 

"Shhhh," he soothes.  "Let me see it, Rey.  Relax and let me see it."

 

She's confused by what he's asking but she looks up at him with trusting eyes and nods. 

 

He summons his power and nudges up against her mind.  "Relax," he whispers. "Let me in."

 

"Oh!"  Rey cries out at the mental intrusion.  He feels her flinch and it's counterproductive.  If she resists, this will hurt. 

 

"Relax.  Close your eyes," he coaxes.  And she does.  "Don't fight me.  Give in to it.  I don’t want to hurt you."

 

"Oh!" She gasps again.   She's afraid and feeling overwhelmed. 

 

Once again, he tries to soothe her.  "Don't be afraid.  I feel it too.  Feel the Force flowing through you.  Through me.  Between us."   She is relenting, drifting now.  Unsteady on her feet, so he pulls her into a closer embrace.  "Yes.  Good.  Surrender to me."  And now her memories are his to peruse.  "Show me the droid.  Show me last night," he whispers.  

 

Reading minds means seeing everything.  From the momentous to the mundane.  From the very public to the most private personal moments.  It's the same with Rey.  He sees her confront a rival scavenger over the droid.  Rey wins and the Teedo guy backs down.  But no doubt her rival scavenger promptly heads to inform on her.  Rey doesn't know what this droid carries or that there is a bounty for the droid.   So unsuspecting the droid’s importance beyond salvage value, Rey takes it home.  Kylo sees her try to talk to the droid but it powers down instead.  Rey feels rejected.  Part of why she had agreed to harbor this droid was to have some company.  But that's not how it works out.  She’s alone.  Always so alone.  Except when handsome Kylo Ren drops by. 

 

And now she's bored and listless.  Running a few flight simulations before she aimlessly surfs the holonet for news about him.   Rey takes a sponge bath before she washes her clothes in the leftover water.  Rey never lets water go to waste.  While she does this, Rey daydreams about the shower on his shuttle.  It had seemed the ultimate luxury to her.  And now she's fantasizing about kissing him in the shower.  Rey had very much enjoyed kissing him.  She falls asleep to thoughts of kissing him.   And more.  

 

The next morning Rey sets off to sell parts and hopefully the droid too.  And that's when everything goes wrong.  Her suspicions arise when Unkar Plutt offers her sixty portions for the droid.  Sixty portions will feed her for a month.  Skeptical Rey refuses and Plutt’s ruffians set upon her seeking the droid.  Now, it's a fight.  Rey holds her own but the fight attracts the attention of the First Order informants.  And now troopers show up and call in an air strike.  Rey doesn't know why they are chasing her or what's so important about the droid but there's no time to ask.  She's focused on saving herself.  Survival has long been paramount for Rey of Jakku. 

 

The first ship she heads for is hit so she runs to the safety of the Falcon.  It's barely able to fly but Rey manages to get it aloft and now it's a dogfight in the ships' graveyard.  This is Rey's home turf and she uses it to her advantage.  Three TIEs are lost by the time Rey gets away because she’s a good pilot and the Force is with her.  She's almost to lightspeed when a malfunction stalls the ship.  As usual, the hyperdrive on the Falcon doesn't work.  Now, Rey is caught.  

 

She's scared and demanding answers from the Resistance-loyal cagey droid.  Rey has no idea that it holds a map to the elusive Luke Skywalker.   She thinks she’s a bystander caught up in someone else’s war.  Never realizing that this is the Force at work.  Once again, an unsuspecting youth with the Light has intercepted a droid in the desert and destiny has intervened.  His Master always says that when Dark meets Light, there is a reason.  This time, the reason is not conflict.  For Rey is clinging to him desperately just now. 

 

He sees his troopers storm the Falcon.  They are rough and Rey is outnumbered.  She is marched out to what she's certain will be a painful interrogation and then a traitor’s execution.  But then she sees him.  And all she can think is that Kylo Ren is here to save her once again.  Kylo Ren will make it all okay.  She hopes.  Please, Kylo, she thinks, take me away from this nightmare. 

 

Reliving these memories has his valiant scavenger sweating and quaking in his arms.  _I will make it alright, Rey_.  He tells her this in her mind.  _No one will hurt you_.  _I command this ship and I control most everyone on it.  No one will hurt you._  

 

Rey raises her head and opens her eyes at this.  He kisses her forehead as his mind retreats from hers. 

 

"That was so strange," she whispers into his chest. 

 

Kylo is concerned.  He’s never tried to read someone’s mind when they weren’t hostile before.  "Did I hurt you?"

 

Rey shakes her head, but brings her hands up to her temples.  "It didn't hurt.  It just felt odd.  Very odd."  

 

“That was the Force.  Rey, when you are ready, I can teach you the ways of the Force.  The Force is a marvelous tool.” 

 

She looks up.  “To read minds?”

 

“And so much more.  In time, you will understand.”  The Force is everything, he thinks.  Especially for a Skywalker like himself. 

 

She nods and starts confessing.  "I stole that freighter from Unkar Plutt."  

 

"It was never rightfully his, Rey.  That's the Millennium Falcon."

 

"That ship is the Millennium Falcon?  The ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs?”  Rey is dumbfounded.  “Do you mean I stole the smuggler Han Solo's ship?"

 

"Yes."

 

Rey’s eyes widen as she marvels at this news.  "Wow.  I thought that ship was garbage. I wonder what it was doing on Jakku . . . "

 

Kylo grunts. "Han Solo is garbage.  The ship is not."  That man means nothing to him.  Kylo puts Han Solo out of his mind and focuses on Rey.  "The Resistance droid held an important map.  I need to deal with the map.  I will be back in a few hours.  You are safe here.  I will send up a droid with some food.  Take a nap.  Take a shower.  Do whatever you wish.  But stay here.  No one will bother you here."  He pulls a comlink from his pocket and hands it to her.  "If you need me, buzz me on the comlink."

 

Rey nods and looks up at him with those trusting eyes of hers.  "Okay, Kylo."

 

He stares down at this girl so full of the Force.  So full of Light.  How ironic that she is the undoing of Luke Skywalker.  "The map is very important to me, Rey.  Thank you for the map."

 

He spends the next four hours on the map.  Skywalker had gone looking for the first Jedi temple in an effort to find information on Snoke.  Apparently, the Last Jedi had found the temple on the world Ahch-To.   It's an unpopulated mostly ocean planet on the edge of the Unknown Regions.  Ironically, not far from his uncle’s nemesis Snoke himself.

 

Kylo tasks his second in command Nestor Ren with developing a battle plan.  Then, Kylo communicates the good news to his Master.  Snoke's rare grin is a bizarre sight to behold.  The old Sith doesn't care about battle plans.  He knows that the only thing which truly matters is the duel to come.  And so, his Master focuses on teaching strategies for taking down Skywalker.  The old Sith wants Kylo not to rush the confrontation.   Far too much is riding on the upcoming fight.

 

When Kylo finally returns to his quarters, Rey is in the shower.  And that makes him smile.  How Rey loves a shower.

 

The Force had brought he and Rey together.  And now his war has brought Rey to his ship.   The Light had arrived to deliver to the Darkness the map to the Last Jedi.  It’s a clear sign, Kylo thinks, that the Force is with him.  He will need it if he is to best the great Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. 

 

There are many tasks to be done before Kylo leaves for the deathmatch with his uncle.  But one in particular is very important and very personal.  And it too is not to be rushed.  Kylo steps into the bathroom and looks down at the puddle of desert rags Rey has discarded.   He smiles to himself as he shrugs out of his surcoat and starts to unbutton his tunic.  This is the perfect opportunity.

 

* * *

 

Is that Kylo?  Rey pokes her soapy head out the shower door to check.  Yes, it is.  He's standing a few feet away on the threshold of the bathroom swathed in a cloud of steam. 

 

Rey grins. "Hi.  I thought I heard someone.  Kylo, I love your star destroyer.  But I think I like your shower even more.”

 

He nods at her enthusiasm.  He looks happy to see that she’s back to being her usual self.  The trauma of her arrival on the _Finalizer_ has mostly faded.  “Use all the water you want, Rey,” he calls.  “Go crazy.”

 

She beams.  “I have.  I'm almost done.  I'll be out in a minute.” 

 

She is rinsing her hair out one last time, her eyes closed and head back as she luxuriates in the water when the shower door opens.  Rey startles and half turns to see Kylo.  He's as bare as she is.  And, wow, look at his physique.  Surprised and embarrassed, Rey quickly averts her head.  And then her hands come up to cover her breasts.  She’s never been naked in front of a man before.

 

"Kylo--" she breathes out her stunned surprise.   His hands reach around her waist as he up steps from behind and starts to nuzzle at her neck.  Now Rey is gulping down sudden panic.  

 

"I'm dirty too," he chuckles.  Then his hands reach to cup her small breasts. 

 

“Oh!”  And now Rey doesn't know what to do.  She hadn't expected this.  And she is suddenly shy and more than a little intimidated.   She’s never done this before. 

 

"Relax," Kylo whispers as he grabs for the soap and starts dragging it across her breasts, lathering them up.   Gently, his hands wash her breasts and she is mollified somewhat.  Then his hands roam lower and they are skimming her torso down to her hips.   Kylo presses into her from behind and Rey feels the unmistakable evidence of his enthusiasm.  It is terrifying and exciting at the same time.  

 

“K-Kylo—“ she stutters.

 

 Again, he whispers, “Relax.  Rey, I know that this is new.” 

 

Now his hands wander lower still and Rey gasps at the intimacy. His lips suckle her neck and his fingers stroke and tease as water rains down on them both. There is pleasure from the water and pleasure from his touch.  For this Jakku virgin, it is sensory overload.  Rey moans.

 

He grows bolder still, grinding into her from the back as his fingers tease up front.  "Let me have you," he urges.  "Give yourself to me, Rey."  

 

“Kylo—“

 

“Say yes.”

 

"Yes," she gasps, for in the passion of the moment there can be no other answer.   Rey whirls in his arms and his mouth claims hers.  She's up against the shower wall now, clinging to Kylo as she loses herself to the passion of the moment.  Rey is barely aware when the water is turned off.  Kylo’s hands cup her ass and now her feet leave the ground.  Her legs wrap around his waist as her arms wrap around his neck.  That's how he walks her from the shower to his bed.  They leave a dripping trail and never once do they break their kiss.

 

Together they tumble onto his bed.  Now Kylo’s kisses travel down from her face to her neck to her breasts to her hip.   And then lower still.  Rey flinches and stiffens at this new sensation.   Instinctively, she shies and recoils a little.  Kylo ignores this.  He puts a firm hand on each thigh to press them down and open her to him. 

 

“Mine,” he rasps.

 

"Kylo, I-I . . . oh . . ."  Her protest ends in a moan as she gives herself up to the pleasure of his greedy mouth and wandering fingers.  Good Gods, what this man can do with his tongue.  Rey is gasping and moaning at his attention.  Her body begins to tense and then tenses more and more.  Rey slurs out his name between clenched teeth as she fights against the unrelenting sensation.  But the effort is useless and soon Rey loses herself completely.  Head thrown back, hands buried in his wet hair, and legs spread wide, Rey dissolves into pleasure with a keening cry.  

 

Her head lolls side to side as she regains her senses only to discover Kylo up on hands and knees looming over her.  His damp black hair is askew and falling across his forehead.   His mouth is slightly open and he’s not blinking.  Kylo stares at her transfixed. 

 

"I'm sorry--" Rey begins sputtering as she blushes bright red. "I did something wrong, didn't I?  I don't know what to do--"

 

"Oh, Gods, Rey," he whispers with awe.  "You are full of Light."

 

"What?"   She doesn't understand.

 

"You’re like fucking the Light.  Do it again!" he urges her and she's still confused. 

 

"What?"

 

He slips his hands under her, dragging her hips closer.  Then he positions himself and enters.  Rey is relaxed and ready for this but still, it is her first time.  And he is big.  So big.  Rey whimpers at the deep intrusion.  The feel of him stretching her, filling her, throbbing within her, is like nothing she has ever felt.  Her eyes frantically find his seeking reassurance.  But Kylo’s eyes are closed.  His face is contorted with obvious pleasure as he groans. 

 

And now, slowly Kylo starts to move.  Rey meets his movements instinctively.  She doesn’t know what she is doing, but the hot, rough friction of him in her makes Rey gasp with pleasure.  He works up to thrusts as now he begins to ravish her.  This is wild, deep and hard sex.  Rey is pinned now as Kylo hooks one of her legs up and over his shoulder and applies himself with rigor.   It’s exciting.  He looms over her, muscles taut and face intense.  "More," he hisses as he plunges forward at this new angle.  “Come for me, Rey.  Do it again.”

 

Abruptly, he slows to drag his full length out and then ram himself home.  Over and over until Rey can no longer think straight.  It's too much, this newfound pleasure of the flesh.  And just as Kylo draws himself out again, Rey tips into ecstasy.  Her eyes close and the sensation keeps coming until her mind melts into a brief oblivion.  Her body’s deep shudders and quakes prompt Kylo to bury himself into her with his own shout of triumph.  "Oh, YES!" he bellows.  "Your Light is mine!"

 

Rey is utterly spent as Kylo crashes down on top of her.  “Did you feel it?” he pants in her ear.  “Did you feel it too?”   Rey felt everything and it had been completely overwhelming, so new and so amazing.  Rey has always been curious what sex would feel like, if it would be as good as people say.  And, yes, it had lived up to its billing.  And then some. 

 

Kylo has his arms wrapped tightly around her and this closeness might just be better than sex, Rey decides.  This tenderness—this silent comfort in the arms of another—makes her heart ache, for Rey never felt it as a child and she craves it now.   She has been alone for so long.  Alone until the day that Kylo Ren walked into her life.

 

“Stay with me.   Please, Rey.  Be mine,” he whispers softly.  And these are words from a fantasy she might have.  Because this throwaway girl from Jakku desperately needs to feel wanted.  To feel valued.   For so long, this anonymous scavenger has mattered only to herself.  She makes marks on the wall and occasionally scrawls ‘Rey was here’ inside a wreck just to leave some evidence that she existed.  Because when you matter to no one, there is no one left to remember you.  And so Rey of Jakku has made it her habit to leave some evidence behind.  Because all life has value and all life has meaning, even her wretched existence.    And maybe someday someone will see the marks and read the words and wonder about who made them. 

 

“Say that you will stay with me,” Kylo whispers again.   And her heart thrills to hear the words a second time.

 

She is coming down from the rush of the moment as she stares back into his dark eyes.  He’s serious, she sees.  Rey realizes that Kylo wants an answer.  Right now.  "W-What??” she manages.  “You mean here?"

 

He leans in to kiss her gently. "Yes.  Live with me here.  Rey, let me take care of you."

 


	7. Chapter 7

Jakku.   She wants to go back to fucking Jakku.  He finds a girl he's crazy about, he offers her a home, and she turns him down for Jakku.

 

Rey has the Force, a sharp mind and a slightly romantic but grimly realistic view on life.  She's got bright eyes, a wide smile, and suntanned skin.  Plus, she's got an impressive knowledge of Imperial weaponry, she flew the Falcon, and she can disassemble a hyperdrive on her own.  Rey giggles and snort laughs sometimes, she tends to look him in the eye, and she occasionally calls him on his bullshit.  Honestly, what more could a man want in a woman?

 

But wait—there is more.  Rey has such an intense connection to the Force that taking her to bed sends ripples through the Force.  For those few precious seconds of her ultimate pleasure, Rey’s Light blazes forth and crests to crash over his mind.   In the moment, Kylo Ren is bathed clean of his sins.  Shameful as it is, he has long craved this reconciliation with the Light.  It is intoxicating, overwhelming, liberating, fleeting.  But most of all, it is addicting.  His Jakku scavenger is the ultimate experience.  Sex and the Force combined.  It’s a rush like no other.

 

Kylo knows from experience that the darker his deeds, the stronger is his call to the Light.  It is his forever weakness and here is his chance to manage it and to use it to his advantage.  Sith that he is, Kylo plots that Rey will be the crutch upon which he will lean his many upcoming misdeeds.  For if he can regularly return to Rey’s arms for communion with the Light, there might be no limits to his Dark power.   The waif who slid down a rope and into his life might hold both the secret to his happiness and the secret to his power.  And for a Sith, that is a heady allure.

 

The problem is--she wants Jakku.  The sand shithole Jakku.  Well, that's not precisely right.  She wants her faithless family who left her on Jakku.  I will be loyal to them, Rey tells him solemnly.  I will not forsake them.  When they return, I will be there waiting.  Rey says this with conviction and a bit of desperation.  Kylo is caught off guard at this galling self-deception by his otherwise very astute girl.   I don't want to leave you, she whispers.  But I have to leave you.  Everyone has something they want out of life and will sacrifice everything to get.  And for Rey, that is her family. 

 

He has moved too fast, Kylo realizes.  But that is typical of him.  Kylo has never been one to do anything by half measures.   He prides himself on being a decisive man of action.   Plus, he's a Sith and to a man the Sith are possessive, aggressive, goal oriented men.  A Sith can take whatever they want, after all.  And he wants Rey.  Besides, his war and his life do not permit him free time to romance a girl.  He might be dead in a few days anyway, so there is no point in slowing down.   Staring death in the face has a tendency to distill things to their essence. 

 

Three days are all he has before he leaves to confront Skywalker.  He and Rey are eating dinner when he tells her that the map she found leads to the Jedi.  And that’s when she realizes what’s at stake.

 

"You're going to kill him," Rey gets right to the point. 

 

Kylo nods.  "One of us is going to die."

 

Rey blanches at this blunt reference to his mortality.  She looks stricken at this prospect.  "Do you have to do this?   Luke Skywalker is just a rumor to most of the galaxy."

 

She’s right.  His uncle is just a rumor.  But a powerful rumor with a manipulative message of hope that many in the galaxy want to believe.  Kylo looks Rey in the eye.  "He's Jedi Master Luke Skywalker and he needs to pay.   This is justice, Rey."

 

She frowns.  "Justice for what?"

 

"For bringing down the Empire and killing two Sith.  Including Darth Vader."

 

Rey nods.   She understands.  She doesn’t look happy about it, but she understands.   "Well, come back to me a full Sith then, Kylo.  I'll be on Jakku waiting for my family and waiting for Darth Ren."

 

And that's the closest to a fond farewell he can get out of unsentimental Rey. 

 

They make the most of their three days together.  Once he introduces Rey to physical pleasure, she can't get enough.   And this is understandable given what he knows about her life.  This is a girl who for years has eaten rations for food, with a palate so bland and tasteless that she doesn't always finish her meager portions.  This is a girl for whom running water is a luxury, for whom basic hygiene is a trade off with thirst.  Hers is a life of deprivation.  Pleasures have been few and fleeting, he knows. 

 

His Rey has lived alone for so long that the attention he shows her is overwhelming.  She's craving him and wanting to please him with a desperation that humbles him.  But she revels in it and he does too.  He's used to his supporters fearing him and his enemies reviling him.  But this girl wants him and likes him.  And unlike the Coruscant weekend girls, Rey knows who he is and what he does.  There is no charade going on.  All the cards are on the table.

 

Their connection is so intense that the first day he takes Rey to bed three times. And things progress from there.  The second day she is sucking his dick and licking his balls and absolute putty in his hands.  Rey a complete novice in the bedroom but she's not a prude.  She commits herself to the task with gusto.  If he didn't know better, he would think his girl wanton.  But, in truth, she is an overripe virgin coming off a lifelong dry spell. 

 

Kylo wonders once or twice whether it matters that he was the one to romance her or whether it might have been any random man.  But whatever the answer, Rey is eager and willing.  And, in turn, Kylo is grateful. 

 

He returns to her between trips to the bridge and meetings with his knights.  Again and again, Kylo and his knights go over plans for the sneak attack on Skywalker.  And again and again, Kylo returns to his quarters to slake his lust in Rey's arms.   He emerges from each encounter sated in body and soul.  But that satisfaction is fleeting.  Because he is a Sith and he always wants more.  He will never get enough of Rey and her Light. 

 

All in all, it is the most amazing three days of his life.  Skywalker is found and the long awaited showdown is imminent.  And Rey is rescued from Jakku and waiting for him whenever he takes a break from the preparations.   Back and forth he goes from war room to bedroom.  His scavenger girl is everything he needs to calm his fears and promote his confidence. 

 

Rey is uninhibited and loud, he discovers.  It's a testament to his prowess, he decides.  For he stokes her to pleasure again and again, reveling in her Light.  Hux's quarters are across the hall and the general shoots him a funny look when they pass each other on the second day.  Kylo knows that he and Rey have been overheard.  It puts a smug smirk on Kylo's face that lasts for hours.

 

When she's not in bed screaming his name in wild abandon, Rey is in the shower.  And when she's not in the shower she is touring his star destroyer under the watchful eye of the haplessly earnest Lieutenant Mitaka.  His girl is such a tech geek.   It’s cute, he thinks.

 

It’s also sexy.  For apparently, there's no better foreplay than letting Rey see the _Finalizer_ hyperdrive.   She's fresh from a visit to the engine room when Kylo returns one morning.  Rey is so titillated that he never gets his mask and gloves off.  She's kneeling before him as he unzips.  It's absolutely perfect, he thinks.  The Light is prostrate before the Darkness, pleasuring him until he nearly loses himself. And then the Light submits to his need as he throws her face down over the bed.  Rey lets him take control and dominate like is his nature.  Reveling as he thrusts hard.  She gets to the finish line first.  And the dominant is now the submissive as the Dark Sith Kylo Ren is humbled by her Light.  

 

Never does he want this to end.  Kylo keeps trying to change her mind.  But Rey has other ideas.  "I wish this didn't have to end," she tells him as she dozes in his arms on the morning of the third day.  They’ve been over this issue many times before but now the argument begins anew.  But no matter what the discussion, the result is always the same:  Rey wants to go back to Jakku. 

 

"You know I can't stay any longer," she tells him. "Three days is the longest I have ever been away from my AT-AT.  I can't take the chance that I will miss my family when they return."

 

"All of Jakku thinks you were captured by the First Order," Kylo reminds her.  "So they will know to look here," he reasons.  But Rey seems to find this point all the more reason that she should return home.   If only to reassure everyone that she’s not dead.

 

"You stole Unkar Plutt's ship," he reminds her. "There's no point in scavenging any more.  Why would he ever buy your parts?"  That's a harder truth for Rey to rationalize away.   Rey decides that she will bring the stolen ship back and plead for forgiveness.   But Kylo is skeptical that plan will work. 

 

He, of course, has his own plan.  He will leave informants on Jakku and Rey will know within hours if anyone comes looking for her.  If she doesn't want to live on the _Finalizer,_ then she can live wherever she wants.  He will get her an apartment on the First Order world of her choosing where she will be safe and comfortable.  Rey will never have to scavenge again and she will never want for anything.  Her life with him will be easy, he promises. 

 

It’s a good plan and he tells himself that his Master won’t mind Rey.  Once Luke Skywalker is dead, this untrained girl is not a threat.  Why shouldn't Kylo keep her for himself?  When he returns triumphant to Darth Plagueis, Kylo plans to claim Rey as his prize for killing his uncle.   And then they will live happily ever after.

 

But Rey isn't going for it.  This has all happened too soon, he sees. She's not ready to leave her life behind.  She doesn't trust informants to tell the truth.  And she's not keen on joining the First Order.  Reflexively, Rey wants to return to the life she knows with the risks she understands.  Because sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don't, even if that devil is Jakku.  And no matter how much Rey might dream of comfort and opportunity, her dream of reuniting with her family eclipses all else.  Even him.  Kylo tries not to feel rejected by her irrational desire to go home.  He wants to be supportive and understanding.  But he's a selfish Sith and he wants Rey by his side as his secret vice. 

 

In the end, he relents.  It is not very Sith of him, he knows.  He should be whisking Rey away to Vader's castle to lock her up for safekeeping in a life of ease and comfort.  Then she would be there waiting and available at his convenience.  But instead he finds himself agreeing to drop Rey back on Jakku.  To a hostile environment surrounded mostly by thugs.  Why is he doing this, he asks himself.  Because she wants this so keenly.  And because when a girl with this much Force tells you that she knows her family will return, Kylo is tempted to believe her. 

 

So Kylo switches gears and starts planning to return Rey to Jakku.  He decides to send the Falcon back to Unkar Plutt compliments of the First Order.  He restores the stolen property with the news that the girl who took it is also being returned.  It was a case of mistaken identity and so the First Order will be merciful and just to all involved.  Plutt is to resume his trading with the girl.  He has been made whole for his loss and there is no need for further retribution.  This is all relayed to the Crolute junkboss by an officer with two squads of troopers with guns drawn.  Kylo hopes this veiled threat is all the encouragement that Plutt needs.   Rey knows the junkboss better than anyone and she seems to think this approach will work.

 

"The Church of the Force guy won't bother you anymore either," he tells Rey.  "He's dead."

 

"Dead?” Rey is taken aback.  “What happened?"

 

"San Tekka was caught conspiring with the Resistance.  He was the man who had the map to Skywalker.  The droid escaped from his village."

 

"Oh."

 

He sees that she is troubled, so Kylo tries to reassure her.  "The old man died quickly, Rey.  It was instant."

 

She nods at this mercy.  People die all the time on Jakku and rarely is it quick and painless.  "His people will miss him.   They revered that old man."  Rey looks away.  “I guess all his followers will have a new martyr now . . . “

 

"His people are dead too, Rey."

 

Her eyes widen.  "All of them?  Why??"  Now Rey looks very troubled. 

 

"Rey, this is a war.  You choose a side.  They chose the Resistance.   It was a bad call."

 

His girl grew up prowling through battlefield wreckage.  She understands war.  She may not like it, but she understands it.  Again, Rey nods.  “Yeah, I guess.” 

 

Later that day, Kylo is in the hangar bay impatiently watching his shuttle being loaded when Hux strides up.  For once, he is sans entourage.  Kylo knows he’s looking for him, but immediately the by-the-book general begins bothering Rey instead. 

 

"That hair isn't regulation er . . . " Hux is searching the blank First Order officer uniform Rey is wearing for a namebadge.  "Lieutenant," the general decides by default.  "And since when do you fail to acknowledge your commanding officer?  Did you forget how to salute, girl?"

 

Rey stands there in her trio of tight hair buns blinking silently at the redheaded general.   Then her eyes dart over to Kylo as if to ask 'Who is this guy?'

 

"Hux," Kylo intercedes. "Back off.  She's not military.”  The uptight general’s tender ego is so easily baited by any breach of protocol. 

 

Rey clearly recognizes Hux’s name from their late-night joy ride in the shuttle.  Her lip is twitching with a suppressed smile.  And that makes Kylo grin behind his mask.

 

“Not military?”  Hux whirls on him now.  "Then what is she doing in that uniform, Ren?  It is an honor and a privilege to wear that--"

 

"Hux," Kylo interrupts. "What do you want?"

 

The general’s feathers are ruffled still.   Hux crosses his arms and looks Kylo squarely in the eye through his mask.  The general is not easily intimidated.   "I sent you four coms this morning. You ignored them.  Then I sent my assistant and you pulled your sword on him.  So I am forced to leave the bridge to--"

 

"What do you want?" Kylo interrupts again.

 

"When do you and the Ren leave?

 

"After I drop her on Jakku."

 

The general glances over at Rey.  "Who is she anyway?"

 

"The girl from the freighter with the droid."

 

"She's Resistance??"  Hux gapes at him.

 

"She is one of us.  She is the reason we have the map."

 

Hux eyes her coolly and raises an eyebrow.  He’s clearly skeptical of Rey and that annoys Kylo. "What do you want?" he demands a third time.

 

Hux shifts his weight and looks a bit hesitant now.   And that's very unlike him.  Hux has no problems speaking up.  Usually, he does so at great length.   The guy loves making a speech.   But not today, it seems.  Hux crosses his arms, nods and simply says, "Good luck, Ren."

 

That's what Hux wanted to tell him?  Kylo doesn’t know whether to be surprised, impressed, annoyed or touched.

 

Hux being Hux, he can’t leave it at that.  He has to elaborate. "Go kill that bastard Skywalker.  He has a lot to answer for."

 

Kylo nods his agreement. 

 

"Whatever our differences, we agree on that.  Well, go do your thing, Ren.   We'll all be rooting for you."

 

Kylo holds out his hand to Hux.  It's a rare moment of solidarity as they shake hands.

 

Rey watches all this with a fearful look on her face but says nothing.  Her eyes follow Hux as he walks away.  “He’s not so bad, Kylo.”


	8. Chapter 8

"I don't like this." 

 

He has a bad feeling about this.  Kylo’s eyes find the small shield generator, the new fighting staff Rey holds, and the First Order blaster she has tucked in her waist.   Rey is better armed and more protected than she has ever been.  But still, Kylo feels uneasy.   And that makes no sense because the Church of the Force village has been wiped out and the First Order has informants here on Jakku to alert him to trouble brewing.  Survival-wise, she’s in good shape too.  He has stashed Rey’s AT-AT full of water barrels and ration kits.  Plus, he’s left her plenty of bacta patches and a trauma med kit, along with extra power cells and a heavy duty datapad for use in the field.  Rey keeps protesting that it’s too much but all Kylo sees when he looks around is the rough conditions he is leaving her in. 

 

Part of him feels ashamed.  Yeah, it’s what she says she wants.  But Rey deserves better than this. 

 

Rey must see his misgivings, because she reminds him, "I can handle myself." And it's true, especially against this world's ruffians.   Plus, Rey is safer hidden here in obscurity where no one would think to look for her.  Not the Resistance.  And especially not his Master. 

 

Kylo hands her a subspace comlink.  "You can reach me anywhere with this, Rey.  At any time.  When you need help, contact me.  If I can't come myself, I will send someone I trust."  She nods and next he hands her a tiny personal tracker.  "Wear this for me."

 

Rey looks less than enthused. "What for?   I'm here.  You know where to find me.  That's the whole point--I will be here for when my family returns." 

 

Kylo has given up arguing that Rey's faithless family will never show.  Childishly, she clings to the hope that one day someone from her past will walk into her life with apologies and an explanation and then she will forgive them and live happily ever after reunited with her family.  Privately, Kylo wishes her clan would return just so he could kill them.  Because anyone who abandons a small child to be a modern day indentured servant for a small-time crime boss deserves to pay.  But this is all fantasy, Kylo knows.  Whoever dumped Rey is never coming back.  He hopes it doesn’t take her another fifteen years to come to grips with that fact.  They will never have a future together if Rey keeps insisting on Jakku.

 

But her family isn't the current issue, the tracker is.  "It's just a precaution, Rey.  I don't want to lose you."  There are a million ways he could lose her, Kylo knows.  From the slave gangs that troll through the Outer Rim looking for female victims to his many enemies who might discover their relationship and seek to use Rey to get to him.  As dangerous as his girl's life has been up until now, it’s Rey’s relationship to him that probably imperils her the most.  And that’s why Kylo has come around to see the wisdom in their parting.  It gives Rey what she wants and it probably protects her too. 

 

"Humor me, Rey.  Wear it for me," he urges. “Give me one less thing to worry about.”

 

"Okay," she reluctantly agrees and slips it in her pocket.

 

Looking past her, Kylo frowns at the sandy hovel she calls home.  He has offered her so much more than this.  But Rey wants what he can't offer--the family who left her behind.   "Are you sure you won't change your mind?"   He makes one last ditch effort.

 

She smiles up at him and raises on tiptoe to peck at his cheek.  Yeah, he didn't think so.   They've been over this before.  Many times.  "Come back soon," she whispers.  “Come back safe.”

 

“That’s not good enough.”  Kylo pulls her close.  He wants a proper goodbye kiss.  This is the only girl he has ever cared for.  The only woman he has truly admired.   She has the Force and she has the Light.  Someday Rey could be so much for him, he knows.  But all of that is on hold right now while she hopes for her family and he pursues his war. 

 

He leaves her now to go kill Luke Skywalker.  It's been his longtime goal and it's a risky endeavor. His old Jedi Master is formidable and there is no guarantee of success.  This might be the last time he holds Rey in his arms.  Kylo reaches to smooth a strand of hair that the wind has teased out of her hair knots.  He is memorizing her so that if his uncle's blade strikes true, Rey’s face will be the last thought in his mind. 

 

He’s not afraid to die.  But honestly, the closer Kylo gets to confronting his uncle, the more terrifying it seems.  For many years, he has dreamed of this showdown.  Of the rush of adrenaline and Dark power that will come from putting it all on the line.  His future and the galaxy’s future will intertwine as the opposing sides of the Force do battle for supremacy in a do or die duel.  And then he will strike his uncle down and become more powerful than his old nemesis could possibly imagine.

 

That’s the plan, at least.  But Kylo has been at war long enough to know that battle plans usually go somewhat awry. 

 

“Kiss me,” he whispers as he dives for her mouth.  Savoring the taste of her lips and the feel of her body.   They had only three days together and that’s not enough.  He’s a Sith, so he wants more.  But he will never get enough of Rey.  He has fantasies that they will have a future together.  That once he succeeds in killing his uncle, his Master will consent for him to take her for his wife.   Then Kylo will slash her hand in the moonlight and make her his forever in the Force.

 

And that thought prompts him to make a request when they both come up for air.  “Wait for me, Rey.  Wait here for your family but wait for me too.”

 

“Kylo, you know I’ll be here until my family comes.  And we don’t need a commitment—“

 

"Rey, you deserve one.  This isn't just a fling," he whispers.  He keeps telling her that, hoping she will believe him.  He’s worried because somehow this feels like an end and not a pause.  Leaving Rey today makes him feel uncomfortably like he is repeating the betrayal of her family who abandoned her long ago.  Everyone walks away from this girl, including himself.  This time, it's her choice and he has his reasons.  He wonders if her missing family had good reasons of their own.  But even if they did, the difference is that Kylo is coming back.

 

"This isn't the end.  Tell me you understand that,” he demands as he cups her sweet face with his hands.   “Tell me that you will be mine and mine alone—“

 

“Kylo—“

 

“I will be back.  And when this war is over, I want us to be together—“

 

“Kylo—“

 

“I mean it, Rey.  I’m not your family.  I will be loyal, I will come for you and I will take care of you—“

 

“Kylo—“

 

“Say you’ll be mine.  Please, Rey.”

 

"Sure.  Fine.  Now, shut up and kiss me again, Kylo," she smiles.  And he does.  Thoroughly. 

 

Then, with a heavy heart Kylo Ren climbs into his shuttle.  He watches through the cockpit window at Rey standing beside her AT-AT in her sentry pose, feet spread wide with her staff planted in the ground.   Her figure is smaller and smaller as the ship rises.  And then, she’s gone.

 

* * *

 

 

The desert is very quiet at night, so the sounds of ion engines wake Rey easily and abruptly.  Is that Kylo back so soon?  Rey isn’t sure.  She emerges into the night to stand beside her AT-AT, feet spread wide with her staff planted in the ground.  Rey is back in her cool desert togs.  She has her new blaster stashed in her belt behind her back.   

 

No, she sees with disappointment, it is not the familiar black shuttle.  It looks like an X-wing.  A very ancient looking model that closer resembles the wrecks crashed here on Jakku than anything the Resistance or the New Republic might fly today.  The ship settles to the ground for an expert soft landing.  Rey is impressed because that is not an easy feat on uneven sand.  Then the canopy pops and a shadowy figure climbs down the ladder.

 

The landing lights of the ship partially illuminate the man from behind.  He is a stranger to her.  A full beard obscures much of his face, but she can see that he is old.  Not super old like San Tekka, but old.  He’s dressed in a neat dark tunic, boots and slacks, and he has a tool hanging from his waist.  It oddly reminds her of Kylo’s sword.  But she doesn’t see any weapon.

 

Still, Rey knows better than to appear friendly straight off for encounters with strangers.  She likes to keep newcomers guessing for whether she is hostile or not.  Generally, that means Rey talks first.  But this time, the old guy beats her to it.  “Hello there,” he calls as he approaches.

 

“That’s a T-65,” Rey observes coolly.  “Did you just blow up the Death Star or something?”

 

“No, not lately,” the old man replies easily.  He smiles.  “I’m looking for a girl named Renata.  She would be about twenty now.  She was left here as a small child under the care of a local man.  It was supposed to be temporary.  Her family always planned to come back for her.”

 

Renata?  Is that her real name?  Rey’s eyes narrow and she takes a deep breath, daring to hope that the day she has long awaited has finally come.  Could this man be her father?  Is he her family?

 

“Do you know this girl?” the man asks.  He has come to a halt about three meters away.  He’s watching her very closely. 

 

Rey makes her best bargaining-with-Unkar-Plutt poker face.  “I might.  Who’s looking for her?”

 

“The Resistance.”

 

Rey blinks at this surprise answer.  “The Resistance?  Why?”

 

“Her family is dead.   They have been gone for many years.  The Resistance is the closest thing Renata has left to a family.   We would like to reclaim her and welcome her home.  She belongs with us.”

 

Home.  The next best thing to a family is offering to welcome her home.  But it’s to the Resistance.  To the middle of a brutal war.

 

“Do you know this girl?” the man asks again as he steps closer. 

 

Rey has a First Order blaster tucked behind her back and a tracker from Kylo Ren in her pocket.  She’s already chosen sides in this war.  And she chose the First Order.  It was a choice for Kylo.  And for self-preservation.  Because if Rey can’t say neutral in this war, she plans to back the winner.    She has spent enough time stepping over dead men in wrecks to know how important it is the back the winner.

 

“Why the Resistance?” Rey challenges, looking for more information.  “That girl has nothing to do with the Resistance.  This is a neutral Rim world.  The war is a long way from here.”

 

“No, it’s not,” the man counters evenly.   “The war was here four nights ago when the First Order slaughtered an entire village of peaceful people.  Not just the men, but the women and children too.  The elderly.  Those people posed no threat to anyone.  The only thing dangerous about the Church of the Force was their ideals.  Every one of those people died a martyr for their ideals.”

 

Rey shifts her stance uncomfortably at this depiction of what happened.  It’s the truth, she knows.  Kylo had as much as told her this too.   This is a bitter war and both sides have their own spin on events.  And each side feels justified in their actions. 

 

The old man must see her discomfort because he presses softly, “This girl is Resistance.  Or she should be.”

 

“Yeah?”  Rey eyes him.  “How do you know that?”

 

“Because her grandmother was a Jedi Knight of the Old Republic.”

 

Really?  Rey’s eyes widen at this revelation.  It’s true.  Somehow, she knows this man speaks the truth.

 

“You are her,” the old man says softly.  “I know that you are her.  Your Force imprint is unmistakably her.”

 

Rey takes a step back and raises her staff defensively.  She’s wary.  “Yeah?  Who are you?”

 

“I’m Luke Skywalker.  I’m here to rescue you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo spends the entire two-day flight time to Acht-To in meditation, bolstering his power for the upcoming fight.  Focusing on the aggrieved hurts of the past, stoking his anger.  His Master has sent him a curt message.  ‘Kill him and return to me Darth Ren.’  That’s old Plagueis’ version of a pep talk.  His meaning is clear:  in victory, finally Kylo can claim the title of full Sith lord.  In defeat?  Well, he’ll be dead.

 

The last time he saw his uncle, Kylo had been an angry, unfocused, half trained kid.   He had lived through that fight only because Luke Skywalker had promised his parents not to kill him.   Kylo had skimmed this thought from the Jedi’s mind in a moment of unguarded weakness.   And then and there, Kylo had realized that his path forward with his Sith Master was clear.

 

His uncle had pleaded with him, repeating all the old lies of the Jedi about the Dark Side. Skywalker had told yet again his revisionist version of Darth Vader repudiating the Sith in his final moments.   Always, his uncle has sought to diminish his grandfather’s legacy.   To pretend like the Darkness in himself and in Kylo does not exist.  And to pretend like the awesome power that flows from that Darkness also does not exist.

 

One lesson from his Sith Master had given young Ben Solo a taste of his Dark potential and his teenage self had been hooked. More, he wanted more. More of the easy power that felt so good.  More of the secret truth of his family’s past.  At first, wily Darth Plagueis had outright refused.  Telling Kylo he didn’t want another apprentice.  But Kylo had begged and the old Master had relented to dangle hope before him.   Impress me, boy, and perhaps I shall reconsider.  So Kylo had been bold and returned with the blood of twenty-five Jedi padawans on his hands.   He had been rewarded that same day with the title Apprentice.

 

It’s been many years since then, and no one thinks Kylo Ren is a misguided teen hopped up on hormones and hate anymore.  When he and Skywalker meet again today, there will be no attempts to persuade and to redeem. This time, it will be a duel to the death.   Kylo will control his fear and release his anger and show Luke Skywalker the Dark Side.   At last, Kylo will reveal himself to the Jedi as a fully trained Sith.  At last, he will have revenge.  For himself and for his beloved grandfather. 

 

Kylo is equal parts excitement, fear and dread.  But all of that quickly morphs into rampant frustration.  For the meticulously planned surprise attack on Acht-To never materializes.  When Kylo arrives with the Knights of Ren, there is no one to attack. 

 

Luke Skywalker has fled.

 

The Force tells him that as soon as he arrives.  In a fit of rage, Kylo bursts into Skywalker's one room, sparsely furnished hut.  It's very monastic.  Very humble zen Jedi Master.  Apparently, his uncle had gone for the full Yoda in exile.  How utterly predictable, Kylo sneers.  The only thing that's not predictable is the glowing blue holochron cube that sits on the middle of the lone table. 

 

"What the fuck is that?"  Nestor Ren asks at his side. "Tell me that's not a bomb, Kylo."

 

"It's not."

 

Kylo is staring grimly at the holochron when Jonar Ren, another of his knights, marches in the open door to report.  "The whole place is deserted.  Skywalker was here within days I would guess based on what we saw.   The Jedi must have been tipped off.   It looks like we just missed him."

 

Kylo nods at this report and then rips off his helmet and casts it to the ground in utter frustration.  "FUCK!" he hollers.  Years and years of searching and he just misses his prey.  Kylo seethes as he resumes staring at the galling holochron cube.   His uncle had left him a fucking Jedi holochron.  It’s a very effective taunt.

 

Jonar follows his eyes.  He too peers at the holochron warily.  "What the fuck is that?"

 

Kylo gestures to the cube. "Did you see any more like it?"

 

"No."

 

"What the fuck is that blue thing?" asks his newest, youngest knight Dax who now wanders in to join the group. 

 

"It's a message," Kylo growls and now everyone is looking at him expectantly.

 

Curiosity gets the better of Kylo and he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes to quiet his mind.   It's been many long years since he has done this.  To say he is rusty is an understatement.  But here goes.  _There is no emotion, there is peace._   _There is no_ . . .  Fuck!  There is no way he can do this.  Kylo falters. 

 

Damn, this is hard.  It was hard at fourteen but it's impossible at thirty after fifteen years a Sith Apprentice.  His mind just doesn’t work this way.  Kylo feels his frustration rising and that's counterproductive.  So, he thinks of Rey.  Of feeling content with his girl laying naked in his arms. Of Rey flashing her wide grin over her shoulder when she turns towards him.  Of Rey sliding down a rope in a star destroyer and blinding him with her Light. 

 

Yes, he is calmer now.  More centered.  Anger and frustration fall away.  Disappointment and confusion dissipate.  The cube begins to levitate.

 

He's closer now.  But he's still struggling for how to connect to the Light Side of the Force.  _There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.  There is no passion, there is serenity._   Slowly, he repeats the mantra of the Jedi Code. 

 

The cube activates and splits into its component parts.  The hologram message begins to play. 

 

As expected, it's his uncle.  A bit more grey and a little less trim.  But not that different after all these years.   Still annoyingly handsome with all that thick Skywalker hair.   Now he's got the Kenobi beard too.  As always, his uncle apes the hallmarks of the ancient Jedi Order that died out the day he was born.

 

_Hello Ben.  I know it's you watching this.  Plagueis will never be able to open this.  But you can.   And if you can open this, then this moment is proof that there is still Light in you._

_Ben, let go of your hate and your mother and I will find a way to welcome you home.  You will always be welcome home._

_Listen to me, Ben.  You are my nephew and you are the son I could not have.  Come home.  Come back to the Light.  It would make your grandfather proud.   Your grandfather wouldn't want you to make the same mistakes he did._

 

The hologram message fades to static and the cube reassembles itself. 

 

Kylo seethes.  And his Darkness rises. 

 

"Who's Ben?" asks the clueless new guy.

 

No one answers.  But they all leap back as Kylo's sword leaps to ignite in his hand.  With a primal roar he hacks the holochron to pieces and then proceeds to destroy the entire room with wide slashing swings.  All that Dark power he has mustered through days of intense focus is unleashed as he indulges in an orgy of destruction.   Here is the wrath meant for the Jedi that is wasted on cabinets and furniture.  Kylo spends nearly an hour in a blind, impotent rage.

 

When it is over, Kylo returns to stand bitterly disappointed before his Master.   The Muun has been plotting wars for centuries.  Darth Plagueis is an old campaigner, and he takes the bad news in stride. 

 

"No one said this would be easy, Apprentice.  The Jedi eluded Vader for years.   At least now Skywalker is flushed out of hiding."

 

"Yes, Master."

 

"There will be another opportunity."

 

"Yes, Master."

 

Kylo sends his knights back to the _Finalizer._ But he himself heads to Jakku.  It takes two days to get there and by the time he arrives his frustration and disappointment have lost some of their edge.  More than anything now, he is discouraged. 

 

Killing Luke Skywalker seems farther out of his reach than ever.  Kylo will never convince his Master that he can resist the lure of the Light until he slays his uncle.  So long as there is a path back to his past, his Master will insist that his Apprentice toe the line as a Dark Apprentice.  And that means he will never tolerate a relationship with his Rey of Light.  For so long as his girl has the latent potential to become a threat, she might as well be the enemy.  Rey is one more reason Luke Skywalker needs to die.

 

Kylo is a man thwarted and he needs encouragement.  So he seeks out the woman he knows has faced much adversity.   She is the listening ear he needs and the comforting Light he craves. 

 

But when his shuttle lands in the early evening dusk, there is no Rey standing sentinel in front of her AT-AT.  The new shield generator is deactivated and her speeder is parked out back.  He's concerned because it's growing dark so Kylo starts poking through Rey's home. He's relieved to find no signs that anything is amiss. 

 

No signs other than Rey's absence. 

 

He starts poking through her datapad.  The most recent history on it is from five days ago and that is concerning.  Now he's very worried that Rey is dead in a wreck somewhere.  Or suffocated by a bad sandstorm.  Or somehow, somewhere in trouble.  Kylo heads back to his ship to start pulling up the information for the tracker Rey is wearing.  His steps jostle the sand and reveal something.  He stoops to pull it from the sand.  It's Rey's tracker. 

 

 

 

 

 

End of Part One

 

There is more to come. 

Stay tuned for Rey a fish out of water at the Resistance, a lonely Kylo, and war.  Lots of war.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Renata for Renata Tebaldi and Renata Scotto, two women who brought much beauty to this world with their art.


	9. Chapter 9

PART TWO   PROLOGUE

 

First Order flagship, _The Finalizer_  

 

The man stands on the bridge of his great ship, hands clasped behind him looking out.  He conspicuously ignores the emotive speech of his would-be rival that plays in the background.  Back in the day, there was never any preamble to these acts.  No deadline, no dialogue, no ultimatum.  Just devastation.And so the man disdains the bombast of today’s spectacle.  He simply wants to know two things: will it work and will it last?  

 

It works.  Raw power races across the galaxy in red slashing streaks.  The resulting wave of death and destruction creates a great disturbance in the Force, as if billions of voices cry out in terror and are suddenly silenced.  This is the power of the Dark Side.  The galaxy at large will see it but only a select few--those who truly matter--will feel it.  Hosnia now becomes the newest martyred system, knocking Alderaan off its pedestal as the ranking galactic mass tragedy. 

 

The weapon harnesses the power of the sun and that is a fitting metaphor.  For only once the weapon drains the light and darkness falls, is it operational.  As the weapon begins to recharge the first incoming enemy fighters drop out of hyperspace.  And now the battle begins.  The man does not order his great ship to enter the fray.  He sits on the sidelines to let the weapon defend itself.

 

Will this technological terror last where its predecessors did not?   Privately, the man hopes not.  Because he would prefer that his would-be rival be consumed by his own monumental hubris.  And because the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. 

 

Where is history to repeat itself a third time when he needs it?  The man takes comfort that, once again, there is a Skywalker in the mix and that always tips the odds.  One took the impossible shot, another took down a shield generator, and now, he hopes, she will take out the oscillator too.  The man indulges in a twisted sort of pride in these achievements.  For if there is one thing every Skywalker is good at, it’s killing people. 


	10. Chapter 10

The comlink Kylo gave her buzzes as soon as the Corellian corvette Rey is on exits hyperspace a second time.  For security purposes, given who’s onboard, the Resistance jumps every hour.  They play a game of cat-and-mouse with the First Order and they like to keep moving. 

 

Kylo had tried to reach her during the jump, Rey realizes.  He must have left a message.  She digs into her pocket to pull out the comlink.  But the moment it is visible, the comlink gets confiscated.  The Resistance takes security very seriously and traceable comcalls are not permitted when there are senior leaders onboard.   That's how Senator Mon Mothma was assassinated, the apologetic guy who nabs her comlink reminds Rey.  Don't worry, you'll get it back, she is told.  And Rey has no choice but to surrender the comlink. 

 

Rey never hears the message.   

 

The mysterious man who calls himself Luke Skywalker has taken her to a Resistance ship to meet someone.  Rey is hoping that this mysterious person is connected to her family.  So she sits, excited and yet still bored, cooling her heels in a small conference room.   Someone brings her some food and some water.  And someone notices how cold she is and lends her a jacket emblazoned with the Resistance insignia.  Everyone is polite and friendly and no one remarks on how nervous Rey seems.

 

She is also increasingly impatient.  Rey has a lot of questions.  But Skywalker keeps putting her off in a pleasant, friendly way.  I will explain everything.  But first, there’s someone who wants to meet you, he tells her. That someone finally enters the room along with the Jedi.  Rey’s jaw drops.  She recognizes the woman with Luke Skywalker from the holonet.  She’s shorter than Rey expected, but she is definitely General Leia Organa.  The Rebel princess of long gone Alderaan.  The New Republic matriarch and senator.  And the leader and chief spokesman for the Resistance. 

 

All Rey can think in the moment is what has she gotten herself into?   First, she runs off with the Jedi guy the First Order wants to kill.  And now, she’s meeting with the leader of the Resistance.  Kylo would definitely not like this.

 

“Hello Renata.  No—don’t get up,” the galaxy’s most famous woman tells her pleasantly as she looks Rey over with interest.  She holds out her hand to shake.  “I’m Leia Organa.  Welcome to the Resistance.”

 

“Call me Rey,” she answers reflexively.  Renata sounds like someone else.  Someone fancy.  Someone important like the woman standing across from her.   Not like Rey of Jakku.

 

The woman smiles as she takes a seat.  “I’m so glad that my brother found you, Rey.  You belong here with us.  If you will let us, we will be your family now.”

 

Brother?  This woman is Luke Skywalker’s brother?   Rey looks back and forth between the pair seated opposite her.  There isn’t much of a resemblance.  But yes . . . that sort of makes sense, Rey thinks.  Because the Jedi hero of the Rebellion would be the brother of the woman who styles herself as the moral conscience of the New Republic. 

 

“You were looking for me?  I’m sorry, but I don’t understand,” Rey complains as politely as possible.  She’s tired of waiting for a full explanation.

 

“We knew of your existence long ago, but we did not know to look for you until recently,” Leia Organa answers. “Rey, what do you know about the Jedi?”

 

Not much, Rey thinks.   Just what the Church of the Force had told her and a few things she has googled on the holonet out of curiosity.   Rey shrugs.  “I have been told that I have the Force.  And I have heard some old fairytales about the Jedi and the Sith.”

 

The older woman nods at this.  “The Jedi are real, Rey.  And so are the Sith.  In the almost seventy years since the fall of the Old Republic, people tend to forget that.  The Empire and the First Order have been very successful in wiping the truth from our history.”  Leia Organa looks her in the eye and Rey sees now the steely general she must be.  “What we are about to tell you is not common knowledge, Rey.  But you deserve to know the truth.  We trust that you will keep this information to yourself.  It is information that could endanger you, Rey, if it becomes known.”

 

Rey swallows hard and then nods.  “I understand.”  Now, she is more curious than ever. 

 

Luke Skywalker begins talking now.  “Years ago, I ran a Jedi Academy on behalf of the New Republic.  I was training a new generation of Jedi Knights there.  At the time, the Academy was well known, especially among families who had Jedi in their background.  Force sensitivity appears spontaneously in all living creatures, but it tends to run in families.   Rey, your family was one of those Jedi families.  Your parents brought you to me when you were a small child.  Three or four, I believe.  Already, they knew that you had the Force.”

 

“How did they know?”

 

“Because both your mother and your grandmother had the Force.  They could sense the Force in you the same way my sister and I can sense it in you now.”

 

“Oh.”  That must mean that Leia Organa has the Force too, Rey thinks.  And that makes Rey wonder why this woman isn’t a Jedi too.  Or maybe she secretly is?

 

“In the Old Republic days, Jedi training began very young around age three.  But I decided to wait to train older children.  I myself did not learn the ways of the Force until I was a young man.  The students at my Academy began at age ten, Rey.  But your parents didn’t know that.  They brought you to me as a very young child.  I was away on the morning when they arrived and your family was received by my nephew.  My nephew was the most senior student at the Academy.  When I returned later that day, I evaluated you and your family agreed to send you to me for training when you were old enough.” 

 

Luke Skywalker looks her squarely in the eye now.  “Your family intended that you would be a Jedi, Rey.  Like your grandmother before you.”

 

She nods impatiently at this news.  Rey isn’t really interested in all this Jedi business, she wants to know more about her family.

 

The Jedi looks pained now as he continues his tale.  “Weeks later, all the students at the Academy were slaughtered.  They were children entrusted to my care and they were murdered.  One and all.”

 

“Murdered?”  Rey sits up in her chair.  Now they have her attention.  She glances over at Leia Organa, but she is looking down.  “Murdered?  Why?”

 

Luke Skywalker exhales a long breath.  He looks over at his uncomfortable sister a long moment before he answers.  “A young Jedi named Ben Solo, who was a pupil of mine before he turned to evil, helped the First Order destroy my Jedi Academy.  He betrayed and murdered all of his classmates.  Now the Jedi are all but extinct, Rey.  I am the last.  My nephew Ben was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force.  He is now a Sith who serves the First Order.”

 

“Oh.”  Rey’s eyes grow wide because she knows a Sith who serves the First Order.  “Kylo Ren,” she whispers the name aloud.

 

“Yes,” Leia Organa says in a flat, sad tone.  Finally, she looks up.  There are unshed tears in her eyes.

 

At her side, her brother looks uncomfortable.  But he continues.  “Rey, families of Old Republic Jedi like yours knew to be fearful of the Sith.  They had lived in hiding during the Empire years when Force-users were hunted down and murdered.  In the wake of what happened at my Academy, I think your family feared that they too might be hunted down by Kylo Ren.  You had been identified as a Force-user and your family and their Jedi background had been personally made known to my nephew.  It was very rational for them to feel threatened.”

 

“You were hidden on Jakku for your own protection.  Rey, I believe that you were only supposed to be there for a few weeks.  Just until your family could start over on a new world anonymously to hide.  But they never got the chance.  Your family died in an accident before they could return to reclaim you.  Rey, you were never abandoned on Jakku.  You were accidentally left behind.  I knew of your existence.  But I did not know where you were.  Had I known where you were, we would have rescued you much sooner.”

 

Rey is struggling to absorb all this.  “My parents died in an a-accident?” she asks. 

 

Skywalker nods.  “Yes.  I’m very sorry, Rey.  It was one of those rare hyperspace collisions.  As far as we can tell, it was truly an accident.  Everyone onboard died instantly.”  Skywalker slides a datapad across the table.  It’s open to a holonet newsfeed article from years ago.  The article details the tragic demise of a public transport enroute from Chandrila to Coruscant.  There is a long list of about a hundred passengers who were victims of the crash.

 

Skywalker points to one of the names.  “This woman Sheeva Cole was your grandmother.  She had been a Jedi veteran of the Clone Wars in her youth.   She left the Jedi Order before the Emperor and Vader began their purge.  That’s why she lived.  Sheeva Cole’s daughter, listed there under her married name Solis Pam, is your mother.  Your father was her husband Renatus Pam.  You were named for your father, Rey.  You were born Renata Pam, but your family called you Rey.”

 

Skywalker takes back the datapad and pulls up more files before he hands it back.  This time it’s pictures.  They look to be from her family’s identification documents.  The sort of mug shot, institutionally unflattering pictures everyone gets taken in those settings.  But it’s something, at least.  Rey stares hard at the photographs.  Her grandmother had light eyes, faded beauty and white hair, she sees.   The resemblance between her mother and grandmother was quite strong, only her mother had red hair cropped short.  Her father had brown hair, dark eyes and pleasant, friendly features.  Rey flips back and forth between the three pictures again and again silently.   She looks more like her father than the women in her family, she decides.

 

Rey is intensely focused on the pictures when Luke Skywalker suddenly shudders and raises both hands to his temples. 

 

At his side, Leia Organa too looks concerned.  “Luke, what is it?  What was that?”

 

“There is a disturbance in the Force.”  The Jedi turns a horrified, near white face to his sister.  “Leia, I fear something terrible has happened . . . “

 

Rey misses most of this.  She’s so caught up in the pictures of her family.  She looks up from the datapad to interrupt.  “Is there more?”

 

“No.  I’m sorry, Rey,” the Jedi says apologetically.  He still looks very troubled, but he is gamely recovering from whatever happened.  “That’s all I know.”

 

Rey frowns.  Names and pictures are nice but they’re not enough.  “But you met them, right?  What were they like?”

 

Skywalker strokes at his beard and considers as he thinks back.  “I remember that they were good people.  And they loved you very much.  They wanted the best for you, Rey.  You were their primary concern.”

 

Rey nods at this.  For these words, as vague as they are, are very comforting to Rey.  Her parents were good people worthy of admiration and not wrongdoers she should resent.  The knowledge that she had been loved and wanted matters a great deal.  And while it does not change her experience, the difference between being left behind rather than abandoned is meaningful too.  Her family had been trying to protect her, not trying to be rid of her.  It just didn’t work out the way they had planned.   

 

Rey had been right about one thing, though.  It had all been because of the Force.  None of this would have happened if she didn’t have the Force. 

 

And none of it would have happened were it not for Kylo Ren.

 

“How did you find me?” Rey whispers.

 

“When I went into exile, I hoped that you were out there, Rey.  But I did not know where you were.  I just assumed that you were with your family, and I hoped that you were all safe.  My good friend Lor San Tekka had spent a lot of time at my Jedi Academy and he knew of you too.  He and his followers fled to Jakku to hide from the Sith.  He must have stumbled onto you there.  Lor suspected who you were but there was no way of knowing for sure.  He tried to contact me over the years.  When I returned recently, I found his messages.  Several of them concerned you, Rey.  It was Lor who tracked down the information about the accident that killed your family.  He is how I found you.”

 

“Lor San Tekka is the old man from the Church of the Force, right?”

 

Skywalker nods sadly.  “Yes.  I wish we could ask him more, but he is dead now.”

 

“I know,” Rey says in a small voice.  “The First Order executed him.  They killed everyone at his village.”  Rey looks away, feeling guilty as she remembers how short tempered she had become at times with Lor San Tekka and his followers.  “He used to come around and check on me every few weeks.  He was always trying to get me to join his village . . .”

 

“Had you been there, you would have been killed too,” Leia Organa says matter of fact.

 

It’s true, but it does not assuage Rey’s guilt.  “I always thought he was bothering me.  Nagging at me with his stories.”

 

“He was watching over you from afar, Rey.  Whether or not you had the Force, that’s the sort of thing Lor San Tekka would do.”  Luke Skywalker looks downcast too as he recalls his late friend.  “Lor was a kind man.   And a good friend.  He is one with the Force now.”

 

Rey is silent a long moment as she stares hard at the pictures on the datapad.  She ought to be thinking of her lost family.  But all she can think of now is Kylo.  Kylo who murdered his classmates at the Jedi Academy.  Kylo who executed Lor San Tekka.   Kylo who wants to be with her after the war ends.  Kylo who is the reason she was on Jakku in the first place.  Rey has never felt more confused.

 

She looks up at Skywalker.  “K-Kylo Ren is your nephew?”

 

He nods.  “He was born Ben Solo.  He took to calling himself Kylo Ren to hide his family connections when he joined Snoke.”

 

Rey’s eyes dart over Leia Organa.  She has remained silent through all of this.  “Then he is your son?” Rey asks warily.

 

The woman nods. 

 

And now all Rey can think is that these people sitting across from her are Kylo’s family.   And they are Darth Vader’s children.  She remembers Kylo telling her that the relationship between his mother and Darth Vader was not acknowledged and now Rey knows why.  And she remembers Kylo telling her that Luke Skywalker was responsible for killing the Sith Darth Vader—who Rey now knows was the Jedi’s own father.   Kylo wants revenge against his uncle for killing his grandfather.  Because a generation ago this pair had fought with the Rebellion to destroy their father’s Empire.  And now Kylo’s First Order is fighting the Resistance that is led by his mother and seeking to destroy the New Republic she helped to found.  The connections are as preposterous as they are shocking.  But they’re true. 

 

Rey gapes at the famous pair sitting across from her.  This is a family who wants to kill each other.  No—they are a family who has killed each other.  Over politics and the Force.  To the orphan, nearly feral Rey that seems very, very wrong.  Families should be loyal to one another.  Isn’t that the point of being a family?

 

Rey’s mind is racing through all that she has learned about her past and about Kylo.  But one thought rises to the forefront:  Rey wants no part of this.  Not the Force, not the Resistance, and not Kylo’s strangely divided family.

 

“T-Thank you for telling me this,” Rey says as she looks down.  “I have wondered about my past my entire life.  These answers mean a lot to me.  More than you know . . . ”  There is a lot here to digest.  Rey wants nothing more than to go back to her AT-AT to be alone and to think.  “Thank you for the offer to stay, but I will not fight for the Resistance,” she decides reflexively.  Rey stands to leave, shrugging the Resistance jacket from her shoulders.   “I would like to go home now, please.”

 

“It’s too dangerous—“ Skywalker begins. 

 

But his sister waves him off and interrupts.  “You are safest here, Rey,” Leia Organa says firmly.  “We can protect you.”

 

“Protect me from who?” Rey asks, not really understanding.

 

“From Kylo Ren,” Skywalker replies grimly.  “He murdered an entire village near you, Rey.  And if ever he finds you, he will kill you.  My nephew is a vicious killer, Rey.  Your sensitivity to the Force makes you a potential threat he will want to eliminate.  Just like he eliminated his classmates at my Academy.”

 

“I don’t want to get in the middle of a war,“ Rey protests. 

 

Leia Organa nods her understanding but presses her case.  “You do not yet realize your importance, Rey.   Whether you like it or not, you are in the middle of this war.  Your potential in the Force puts you in the middle of this war.”

 

“No,” Rey shakes her head, “I may have the Force, but I don’t use it.   I’m not a threat to anyone.  I’m just a scavenger.”

 

“You could be far more than that,” Luke Skywalker observes as he leans forward in his seat.  “You must stay with the Resistance and learn the ways of the Force, Rey.” 

 

“No.”  Rey turns him down flat.  “I have spent years crawling around battle wreckage from a war.  I know all about war and its aftermath.  I don’t like war.  I don’t want any part of war.”

 

“Don’t you care about standing up for what’s right?”  Leia Organa asks quietly.  Rey can hear the implicit judgement behind her tone.  War has been a way of life for this woman, she realizes. 

 

And that makes Rey indignant and hotly defensive.  “No!  No, I don’t.  I care about me.  I care about surviving.  That’s what I do best—I survive.  On my own, in the desert, I survive.”

 

“Your family would not agree with your decision,” Luke Skywalker observes pointedly. 

 

And then his sister piles on.  “You’re letting them down.”

 

Rey pauses only a moment at this guilt-tripping.  “Yes, they would agree with me,” she decides.  “Because if they hid me on Jakku, it was because they wanted me to survive.  All these years, I have struggled to survive.  That’s who I am—a survivor.  And I haven’t lived this long by picking fights I can’t win.”  Rey looks away from the pair’s disapproving faces.  She sighs and mutters, “Look, I don’t like the First Order.  I hate a lot of what they do.  But I can’t get involved.”  And that’s a bit of a lie because she is already too involved . . . with Kylo Ren.  And really, that’s the problem.

 

Leia Organa makes a face but her next words are conciliatory.  “Rey, you have to find your own path, we respect that.  But we wanted you to know the truth.  For your own protection.” 

 

Rey tries to mirror her same grave politeness.  Rey musters all the dignity she can.  “I understand.  Thank you.”

 

Luke Skywalker looks worried and starts issuing warnings.  “Rey, be very careful of the First Order.  And stay far away from Kylo Ren.  He will kill you.”

 

But Rey thinks otherwise.  Because the last time she saw Kylo Ren he was kissing her breathless and begging her to stay with him.  And Rey had been tempted.  Far more tempted than she had ever let on.  “You don’t know that—“

 

“Yes, we do,” Leia Organa counters.  “My teenaged son murdered twenty-five of his classmates one night.  They were children who died to make certain that there would be no young Jedi left to challenge him.  Rey, Kylo Ren will most certainly kill you if he finds you.  Don’t be a fool and believe otherwise.  He will kill anyone to achieve his ambitions.”

 

And now Rey parrots words she remembers Kylo telling her as he explained away the attack on the Church of the Force village.  “This is a war.  People die . . .”

 

“Those children were not casualties of war,” Leia Organa’s tone is sharp now.  “They were murder victims.”

 

“Stay with the Resistance, Rey.  Learn the ways of the Force.”  Luke Skywalker renews his offer again. 

 

But there’s no way Rey is going to get herself deeper into this war or this family’s conflicts.  “The Force is what makes me dangerous, right?  How will learning the Force help things?”

 

“I will teach you to defend yourself,” the Jedi explains.  “Then, you would have a fighting chance, Rey.”

 

Again, Luke Skywalker wants her to fight.  He doesn’t know her.  So he doesn’t know that Rey of Jakku always defaults first to flight.   It’s the safer option.  She shakes her head.  “I told you, I don’t go looking for fights.”

 

Leia Organa correctly reads Rey’s increasingly stubborn tone.  The former senator and diplomat hastens to smooth things over once more.  “We have scared you, Rey.  That was never our intent.  We just want you to know the truth.  And all of the risks that come with it.”

 

Rey nods.  “I would like to go home now.  Please . . . I just want to go home.” 

 

The Skywalker siblings exchange glances.  Then the Jedi speaks up to remind her, “Running away won’t make you safer.  And there is no family coming back for you there, Rey.

 

“I know that now,” Rey agrees.  “But there is someone else who will miss me.”  Kylo . . . she needs to talk to Kylo, Rey thinks.  She wants to hear his side of this story.  For though she has no reason to mistrust Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, they have an agenda.  Kylo has an agenda too, admittedly, but he has earned her trust and Rey will show him loyalty. 

 

Her face must look very determined because Leia Organa concedes defeat.  “Alright, Rey, we will take you home.  Think about what we have told you.  We will show you how to contact us, if you change your mind.  Good luck, Rey.” 

 

“I’d also like to get my comlink back before I—“ Rey begins, but she is interrupted when an aide darts into the room to whisper in Leia Organa’s ear.  The aide is a young woman and she looks very, very agitated. 

 

Leia Organa instantly reacts, whirling in her seat.  “How?  That would take more firepower than. . . oh, no . . . not again. . . “  Leia Organa looks stricken and instructs, “Turn on the holonet!”

 

There is a large holonet screen in the conference room.  The aide activates it and the newsfeed from Coruscant begins playing breaking news.  All four occupants of the room watch in silent horror.  The newsfeed plays a clip of a shouting, righteous General Hux.  Today is the last day of the Republic, he snarls before an assembly of troops.  The rest of his words are a fascist manifesto.  And then the footage cuts to a series of giant explosions.  The entire Hosnia System has been destroyed by the First Order using some heretofore secret weapon they call Starkiller Base.

 

“Hosnia . . . my Gods, that’s billions of people . . . “ the aide breathes aloud the thoughts of everyone in the room.  Hosnia is the capital of the New Republic and one of the glittering, cosmopolitan worlds of the galactic Core.

 

“Get this ship back to base immediately,” Leia Organa orders grimly.  “We need to destroy that thing.”

 

Evidently, someone has anticipated this order because the ship jumps to lightspeed before she finishes her sentence.  “I’m sorry, Rey, but this takes precedence,” the Resistance general tells her.  “We need all the ships we can get—we can’t spare one to take you back right now.”  The veteran general sighs heavily.  Then she promises, “If we survive, we’ll get you home to Jakku.”


	11. Chapter 11

He has seen enough.  Kylo stalks off the bridge.  His second in command Nestor Ren falls in step beside him.  “Hux is going to be insufferable after today,” Nestor complains sourly. 

 

“If he lives.”

 

“Super weapons are overrated,” Nestor nods his agreement.  “Hux brags that thing is impenetrable.  But there’s always a flaw.”

 

Kylo smirks behind his mask.  He grew up hearing tales of Death Star trench runs.  He knows all about the small thermal exhaust port right below the main port.  “This time the flaw is the asshole in charge,” he decides.

 

“Nah,” Nestor disagrees as they duck into the bridge elevator that leads down to the hangar bay. “It’s that oscillator.”  The crew leap back to let the First and Second Knights of Ren enter alone.  Such is the wide berth that the regular military show to the Ren, even the senior officers.  “All that shielding presumes an external threat.  Not an onsite raid.  Don’t forget your Endor history--that Resistance lady is a veteran of commando operations.  Shit, Kylo, you and I could take down that oscillator with just the knights and some well-placed bombs.  It would be a suicide mission but those Resistance zealots love martyrdom.”

 

This too is true.   If Nestor knows anything, Kylo thinks, it’s war.  “If the Starkiller blows, then Hux had better hope he’s on it,” Kylo remarks bitterly.  “We’ll look like fools.  Plus, Snoke has sunk a lot of credits into that project.”

 

“It’s not just the credits,” Nestor reminds him with a serious, reproachful look.  “We’ve got a lot of men stationed on the Starkiller.  Good men who don’t deserve to die for Hux’s incompetence for rushing the design and failing to adequately defend the flaw.”

 

Whatever.  Kylo lets this comment go.  Nestor is always worried about the common man cannon fodder of the First Order.  Kylo knows his friend disagrees with his order to stand down on the Starkiller defense.  Not because there is any love lost between Nestor Ren and Hux, but because Nestor is a good soldier and he doesn’t want to see other good soldiers to die.    Kylo’s second in command is ruthless where the Resistance is concerned but he’s full of esprit de corps when it comes to the Order’s own men.  Starkiller Base is mostly staffed by Hux’s cronies and research scientists.  Not true fighting men worth saving, Kylo thinks.  And besides, he has other plans for the _Finalizer_ today.

 

“This is going to throw the galaxy into chaos.”

 

Yes, he knows.  Snoke is counting on it.  Kylo speaks in irritated, clipped tones now.  “Get the Knights ready.  We’re leaving soon.”

 

“For where?”

 

“For the Resistance.  We’ll invade while their ships are in the air here and their base is vulnerable to attack.   Mark my words, Leia Organa is going to blow her third Death Star today.  We don’t want to be anywhere nearby when that happens.” 

 

“Then shouldn’t we be helping Hux?”  Nestor sounds exasperated as his true feelings show.  “Kylo, if you want to fight, the time is to fight now.  Here.”

 

Kylo whirls on his subordinate as his anger flares.  “That fucker Hux can go down with his ship!  So, unless you want to go singlehandedly defend the oscillator, let’s go!”

 

“Okay, boss.” Nestor backs down.  As always, he’s a good soldier.  And he doesn’t often question orders.

 

An hour later, Starkiller Base is no more.  The Knights of Ren are in hyperspace aboard his shuttle and a full legion of troopers follows in separate transports.  The _Finalizer_ is not far behind, having stayed to collect the few survivors.  All ships are enroute to the Resistance base in the Illenium System. 

 

The mood is grim.  But only Nestor knows him well enough to know that he is upset for reasons other than the loss of the Starkiller and the vainglory of General Hux.  They are in private together in the back when Nestor speaks up.

 

“What’s eating you, Kylo?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Is Grandpa mad at you about Skywalker getting away?”

 

“Snoke and I are fine,” Kylo snaps back.  “And stop calling him Grandpa.  He would not be amused.”

 

“Then what is it?”

 

“Drop it, Nestor.  Everything is fine.”

 

His friend raises an eyebrow but, as always, Nestor backs down.  “If you say so, boss.”

 

Kylo looks across at the beefy blonde knight with the buzzcut hair who he has known for years.  Nestor Ren is his only friend and they have been comrades in arms for years.  They respect one another in war and in other matters.  So Kylo decides to come clean.  Maybe Nestor can help.   He’s married so he must know a thing or two about women.  Kylo takes a deep breath and plunges forward.  “There’s this girl . . . “

 

Nestor looks interested but says nothing.  And that’s very Nestor.  When he’s not in battle, the man is very understated.  That’s probably why they get along, Kylo thinks.  Because he himself is anything but chill.

 

“I met this girl . . . “ Kylo begins again.  And then the whole story of Rey of Jakku tumbles out in fits and starts as Nestor listens silently.  Finally, Kylo spits out the punchline: “And now she’s gone.  Vanished.“   Kylo sighs and looks away.  “I’m worried,” he confesses.

 

Nestor sits back and crosses his ridiculously ripped arms.  The man is built like a cartoon superhero.  The Second Knight of Ren thinks a moment and then starts firing off questions.  “Who knows about her?”

 

“Probably Hux.  He saw me loading up to take her home.” 

 

“That’s not good.  Anyone else?”

 

“Others saw her arrive on the Falcon with the droid.  Some might have guessed.” 

 

“What about Grandpa?  Does Grandpa know?”

 

“Snoke doesn't know.  And the only reason he would care is that she has the Force.”

 

The normally chill Nestor nearly leaps out his seat at this revelation.  “She has the Force??”

 

“Yeah.”  Kylo looks away, embarrassed. 

 

Sure enough, Nestor is giving him a very knowing look.  “So she was too cute to kill, is that it?”

 

He nods sheepishly.  “Something like that.” 

 

Nestor shoots him a serious look.  “Grandpa wouldn’t like that.”

 

“Snoke doesn’t know.”

 

“That’s what you think.”

 

“Look, she’s not a threat to anyone, Nestor.  She’s one of us.”

 

“Okay,” Nestor takes his word for it.  “Well, maybe her family showed up and she left with them.”

 

He’s thought about that possibility.  “Why wouldn't she tell me that when she left days ago?   And why wouldn't she wear her tracker wherever she went?”  Rey hadn't been keen on that tracker, Kylo remembers.  His independent girl hadn't wanted to feel watched, he guesses.   Maybe that was why she tossed it aside.  But that still doesn’t explain why she hasn’t she responded to his message. 

 

“What if her family is opposed to the First Order?” Nestor thinks aloud.  “They wouldn’t be keen on their girl hanging out with you.”

 

“Yeah.   That's a possibility.”  Especially now after the Starkiller. 

 

Nestor considers.  “What if her family took her to---never mind.”

 

“Took her where?”

 

“Never mind.”

 

“Spit it out, Nestor.”

 

“To Hosnia.”

 

Kylo glares at him.  “Shit, Nestor, you sure know how to cheer a guy up.”

 

His friend makes a face and reddens.  “Sorry.  Cesi says I always stick my foot in my mouth.”

 

“She's right.”

 

That makes Nestor smile.  It’s impossible to get the man angry.  “Women are always right.  Haven't you figured that out yet?”  Nestor tries to encourage him now.  “For all you know, your girl is back home safe and sound.  You might be worried about nothing, Kylo.”

 

“Yeah . . . “  He might be.  But then again, he has a bad feeling about this.  It is the same bad feeling he felt when he had left Rey on Jakku.  Kylo pulls out his comlink to check it again.  No messages.  No calls.  Nothing.  And that’s not good.  What if Rey had been on Hosnia . . .

 

“I've never seen you into a girl before,” Nestor remarks a little too casually.

 

His friend is fishing and Kylo takes the bait.  He meets Nestor’s eyes.  “Rey is not just any girl.”  

 

* * *

 

What follows is the most harrowing day of Rey's life.  It eclipses even the day with the droid on Jakku because at least then Rey had felt some measure of control.  Not so today at the Resistance.   Rey is completely at the mercy of others.  For self-reliant Rey of Jakku, it’s a very uncomfortable and new feeling.

 

The corvette cruiser she's on returns to the main Resistance base on the Ilenium System.   As soon as the ship lands, Rey is forgotten in the panic of the crisis.  The First Order has a super weapon called the Starkiller that can destroy entire planets and the Resistance is determined to stop it.  They plan to bomb something called the oscillator on the theory that this will cause the weapon’s fuel cells to rupture.  The hope is that will cause the weapon to collapse on itself, overcome by the very power it seeks to harness.  Rey isn’t privy to the details of the plans, but it all sounds risky.  Very, very risky.   

 

Then, the stakes get higher.  The First Order begins recharging the weapon to target the Illenium System next.  And now, Rey has gone from being a bystander in this war to being one of its targets.  And she is powerless to do anything but wait and hope.  Because in order for her to survive, now the weapon must be stopped.  Rey is more confused than ever.  It's not that Rey approves of the Starkiller or that she is an enthusiastic supporter of the First Order, but to the extent she had any loyalty in this war it was never to the Resistance.  But suddenly, she quite desperately needs the Resistance to win.  Because if Rey has any loyalty to anyone, it’s to herself.

 

All in all, in a matter of days she's gone from being aboard Kylo Ren's First Order flagship to being stuck on General Leia Organa's Resistance base.  And with that change in location has come a rather abrupt shift in loyalties. 

 

At least she knows that Kylo is not dead.  From the moment Luke Skywalker had appeared in her life, Rey had wondered if that meant that Kylo is dead.  Apparently not.  Either his duel with Skywalker never happened or it ended at a draw, Rey surmises.   But either way, Kylo is alive.  For now, at least.

 

As an accidental visitor to the Resistance, Rey hangs on the perimeter and watches the preparations.  Every possible ship is scrambled for the mission.  The X-wings and Y-wings will take the lead, but all the other ships, including supply transports, will participate as well as a diversion.  As Leia Organa had indicated, that means there is no ship to spare to evacuate Rey or anyone else. 

 

And that seems to be how things are done at the Resistance.  Everyone is prepared to die for the cause, it seems.  Everyone but Rey. 

 

With nothing left to do but hope, Rey stands in a conference room watching the holonet coverage.   It is heartbreaking.  Hosnia had been the current capital of the New Republic, an urbane and cultured system of billions.   But now it’s gone.   The newsfeed is full of eulogies for Hosnia and replays of General Hux's speech.  Kylo was right not to like that guy, Rey thinks.  Hux seems positively gleeful at the prospect of destroying planets.  It’s very off-putting.  Kylo would never have acted that way, she tells herself.  She has no illusions about her Sith but she thinks violence is more a tool of war for him than a cause for celebration.  At least, she hopes that is the case.   She’s not sure.

 

After several nail biting hours, the last-ditch Resistance attack succeeds thanks to a strike team on a suicide mission to the Starkiller's surface.  That mission damages the oscillator enough for the Resistance bombs to do their job and the weapon implodes.  It's a victory for the Resistance, no doubt.  But a pyrrhic one.  The duration of the battle whittles the ragtag Resistance fighter wings down to a handful of lucky survivors.  And the brave commando raid team all perish. 

 

Rey watches from afar as the few returning ships land back at the Resistance base.  The mood is a strange mix of tears and triumph, of sobs and high-fives.  For though all are proud to have made history striking a blow against the First Order, many lives were lost today in the battle and on Hosnia. 

 

No one seems to care about the First Order lives lost on the Starkiller.  And that's understandable to all but Rey.  She's very worried about whether Kylo was on the Starkiller weapon.  Please, she thinks to herself, let Kylo have been on his shuttle or his star destroyer when that thing blew.

 

Rey is standing alone and apart from the crowd of strangers when the Jedi walks up.  "I am sorry to have dragged you here today of all days, Rey," Luke Skywalker tells her with sincerity.

 

Me too, thinks Rey.  But she says nothing. 

 

“Jakku is going to have to wait a few days,” Skywalker tells her what she’s already guessed.  “The galaxy is in chaos and it's not safe to be out in space right now.  Plus, this base is going to need to evacuate quickly now that the First Order knows we're here.  Leia tells me that Snoke has plenty of military assets that were not on Starkiller Base."

 

Rey just nods.  She saw the reports on the holonet about how all commercial transports are currently grounded.  Pretty much all space travel is on hold in the aftermath of today’s crisis.   The long cold war between the New Republic and the First Order has suddenly flared red hot.  No one is going anywhere in the galaxy right now.

 

Skywalker follows her gaze to the loud crowd milling about. "I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.  And this is just the beginning."

 

"Do you think he's dead?" Rey blurts out the question she can’t get out of her head.  “Do you think he was on the Starkiller?”

 

"Who was on the Starkiller?"

 

"Kylo Ren."

 

He shakes his head.  "I don't know.  Why do you ask?"

 

Rey looks away.  "You said he was a threat to me."

 

Skywalker pulls at his beard.  “It’s pretty hard to kill a Sith, Rey.  I think you should assume that he’s alive.”

 

Again, Rey looks away.  This time it’s to hide her relief. 

 

Not half an hour after the meager Resistance survivors return to base, the First Order drops out of hyperspace in the Illenium System.  And that makes no sense, Rey thinks, unless someone there had anticipated that the Starkiller would be lost.  Because there would be no reason to invade the base if the Starkiller were around to destroy it from afar.  But however it happens, the Resistance is caught unaware.  The mass evacuation begins with ten minutes to spare and very few ships to use. 

 

Again, Rey is lost in the shuffle.  Everyone else seems to know what to do and where to go like this is a drill they have practiced.  People race past her focused on their set of tasks, never even seeing Rey standing there alone.  Everything is happening very fast.  Increasingly frantic, Rey contemplates whether she should remain behind and attempt to surrender to someone who can take her to Kylo.  Or whether she should just go hot wire one of the last remaining ships.  Rey decides to sneak aboard the corvette cruiser she arrived on in hopes that’s her best escape route. 

 

She’s racing there when Luke Skywalker appears with his green Jedi lightsaber lit and his sister firmly in tow.  He shouts to Rey to follow them into the cruiser.  Rey ends up evacuating with the senior leadership of the Resistance and the last Jedi.  It is touch and go for a few minutes when the corvette's rear deflector shields are hit and there is concern that the main reactor will shut be down from the laser fire that penetrated through.  But Luke Skywalker does something magical with the Force to confuse the enemy fighters and the disabled ship safely jumps to lightspeed. 

 

Standing alone again, apart from the Resistance leaders who are now huddled in deep discussion, Rey exhales a long sigh of relief.  She wishes there were a place to make a mark on the wall of this cruiser, just like in her AT-AT.  It seems very important to commemorate that she had lived through this day when so many others did not. 

 

* * *

 

Kylo lands at the Resistance base after the first wave of troopers but before the second.  His command shuttle had become tangled up in the mess of enemy ships fleeing off world.  And that had tempted his pilot to take a few potshots at a straggling decades old cruiser.  By the time he arrives on the surface, the small ground battle with the Resistance die-hards is blazing hot. 

 

Kylo Ren jams on his helmet, summons the Force, and lights his sword.  Down he stalks from his shuttle to enter the firefight. 

 

He likes to lead his troops the way Vader led his.  Jedi General Anakin Skywalker had been famous for his tendency to be at the forefront of every Clone Wars battle he fought.  As a Sith, he continued to lead the 501st personally.  Reputedly, his grandfather was the man who got closest to the actual stolen Death Star plans at Scarif and years later Vader himself had led the ground assault into the Rebel base at Hoth.  No other modern day military commander can claim that sort of daring leadership.  No one except Kylo Ren, that is.

 

First Order commander that he is, Kylo is a Sith so his first allegiance is to his own ambitions.  Kylo knows that he needs a good showing today to thoroughly one up the disgraced Hux.  Both for his Master and for the cameras.  It's got to be clear who is the true public face of the First Order.  The general has lost the Starkiller and now it falls to Kylo Ren to punish the Resistance. 

 

He is a Sith, and he does what needs to be done.  He does not hesitate.  He shows no mercy.  And today he permits the entire First Order invasion force to act as Sith.  Kylo orders no quarter and the result is a gratuitous bloodbath at the Resistance base.  A veritable orgy of destruction and death as he indulges the bloodlust of his men who want revenge.

 

Kylo hacks and slashes his way through the fray.  Giving vent to his frustration for the unresolved mystery of Rey.  Today is a good test of his skills for the blaster bolts are coming fast and furious.  By the time Kylo is done three hours later, he is drenched in sweat and feeling better from the slaughter.  The Resistance senior leadership got away and the enemy casualties here are more symbolic than anything, but there is plenty of intel to be discovered on the computers left behind.  Plus, between the Starkiller dogfight and his secondary attack, most of the Resistance fleet is destroyed.  Now, the enemy will need to waste time regrouping and establishing a new base of operations.  That means that the First Order has the Resistance on the run.  Despite the loss of the Starkiller, Kylo is satisfied that when all the dust settles the strategic advantage still lies with the Order.  That has been his contribution to today’s events:  to snatch victory from the jaws of Hux’s defeat.

 

Back at his shuttle, Kylo is heading for a shower.  Nestor wanders by wearing fresh fatigues whining about a flesh wound on his arm.   Kylo glances over at it and is unimpressed.  "Suck it up, Nestor.  It's a flash burn that's barely bleeding."

 

His friend looks him over for injuries. "You good, boss?  Everyone was aiming for you today."  This is true, for once the Resistance understood they were taking no prisoners, the enemy too had wanted vengeance.  And Kylo Ren had served as a logical focal point for their desperation. 

 

"I'm okay."   He is singed from a few close blaster shots here and there but there is no real damage.  Kylo starts stripping down. Dropping his surcoat, gloves and undertunic in a pile.  He has a slight flash burn of his own on his left side.  His clothes bore the brunt of the damage, he sees. 

 

And that reminds him . . .   Kylo reaches in his pocket and "FUCK!"  He pulls out what's left of the subspace comlink counterpart he had given to Rey.  It's half melted from a glancing blaster bolt Kylo had never felt because he was so deep in concentration.  "FUCK!" he roars again.

 

Nestor looks over.  "Now, who's whining about a flash burn?" he chuckles.  "Suck it up, Sith," he says with a grin.  "I thought you guys liked pain."

 

Kylo stares at the remains of the comlink in his hand.  It had been his only real-time connection to Rey now that she doesn't have the tracker.   That’s it, he decides.  War or no war, he’s going back to Jakku. 


	12. Chapter 12

Nestor insists on accompanying him back to Jakku.  If your girl is there, I won’t be a third wheel, Nestor assures him.  I’ll go prowl about an old ship while you two to get reacquainted, his friend tells him with a wink.  On that note of optimism, Kylo relents and allows him to come.  But he quickly regrets that decision.  Because from even before they land, Kylo feels his friend’s judgement.  He's a Sith and as a rule, there are no rules.  Only his Master gets to judge him.  But today, Nestor does too.  And that just fuels Kylo’s fears and regrets.  

 

“Where’s her house?”

 

“That’s her house.”

 

His friend snorts.  “That’s an Imperial walker that has seen better days.  Much better days.”

 

“That’s her house.”

 

“Oh.  Right.”

 

Once the shuttle lands, it’s clear that Rey’s neighbors now consider her home to be abandoned.  Everywhere, there is evidence that other desert scavengers have been there to ransack and divvy up her belongings.   The water barrels and food stores are gone, of course.  So is the homemade speeder bike that Rey took so much pride in.   Even the table and chairs have gone missing.  All that’s left is the flight simulator that was probably too big to move and a few personal belongs and random pieces of old equipment that must not be saleable at the trading post.  The little that’s left is strewn about in haphazard fashion.  All in all, the empty AT-AT is a bleak mess.  It is a depressing sight. 

 

Nestor picks up a homemade doll dressed in orange fabric that had come from some dead Rebel pilot’s flightsuit.  He looks pointedly to Kylo and raises an eyebrow.

 

He waves it off.  "Don't read anything into that.  It's just a doll.  Rey is one of us."

 

"The uniform is not what concerns me," his friend says in a serious tone.  

 

Kylo sees Nestor's eyes looking behind him and turns around.  "What?"

 

Nestor points up at a clothesline that hangs in the corner.  Bits of fabric and a few pieces of clothes are still hanging where they had been left to dry.  "Are those hers?"  Nestor points to a small faded and frayed pair of panties that have rainbows printed on them. 

 

Kylo shrugs.  “I guess.”

 

Nestor’s expression hardens as he shakes the child’s plaything in his hand.  “How old is this girl, Kylo?”

 

“Nineteen.  Maybe twenty.  She isn’t sure.”

 

“Are you sure?” Nestor growls.  “Because those look awfully small for a grown woman.”

 

“She’s half-starved, Nestor.  Skinny as can be.”

 

His friend puts down the doll and chews this response over for a moment.  He starts shaking his head.  “I don’t get this, Kylo.  I don’t get this at all.  What’s the attraction?   You meet a starving homeless orphan in an old ship one day.  She’s uneducated, wearing rags and speaking like a grease monkey techie.”

 

“What’s your point?” 

 

“My point is this is you, Kylo.  The guy who picks up glossy blondes with big fake tits in the Coruscant clubs.  Those girls jabber on about clothes and shoes and you could care less because you’re not there for the conversation.  Look, I’m not judging.  I’m just saying that Rey the scavenger isn’t exactly the kind of girl you normally go for.”

 

That’s true.  And that’s part of her appeal, Kylo thinks.  Rey is engaging in ways that are far more lasting and fundamental than chic clothes and perky boobs.  He gives his friend a serious look.  “She’s amazing, Nestor.”

 

“Yeah—amazing how?”  Nestor slants him some critical side eye.  “Amazing in that she’s willing to do just about anything for power converters she can trade for food?  Amazing in that she’s young, inexperienced, and desperate for attention?  Amazing in that she’s wowed by the great Kylo Ren and makes absolutely no demands on you?”  His friend levels him a hard look.  “That's not a girlfriend, that's a groupie.”

 

Kylo is instantly defensive.  “It’s not like that.”  He wasn’t exploiting Rey.

 

“Yeah—then how is it?”

 

“There’s a lot to admire about this girl and her life.”

 

Nestor is unconvinced.  “Really?  Because all I see here is squalor, Kylo.  I see a girl who was living in the worst poverty.  You drop by to hang out with her.  Then, you end up fucking her for a few days before you dump her back here.  You leave her some water and some rations and weapons and fly away.   I mean—look at this place, Kylo!”  His friend waves a hand expansively.  “If you cared about her, couldn’t you do better than this?   You’re Kylo Ren, for Gods’ sake!  Take her to Vader’s castle or something . . . ”

 

Kylo sighs.  He can’t refute Nestor’s logic or his sentiment.  “This is what Rey said she wanted,” he grouses.

 

“News flash boss:  women don’t always say what they mean.”

 

“This one does,” Kylo retorts.  Rey is anything but coy.   “I wanted her to stay on the _Finalizer_.  But she turned me down.  I offered to put her up in an apartment somewhere but she turned me down.”

 

“I don’t understand that.”  Nestor’s eyes sweep around the decaying AT-AT.   “What girl in her right mind would turn down those offers for this?”

 

“Rey did.  She’s a girl who knows her mind.”

 

The Second Knight frowns at this response and shakes his head.  “Yeah?  And since when do you take no for an answer?”

 

“Since Rey.  She’s an exception.”  

 

Now for the first time, Nestor notices the marks on the wall.  He kicks things out of the way to approach for a closer inspection.  “What the fuck is this?“ 

 

“It’s how long she’s been here.”

 

“It’s like she’s been marking time in a prison cell . . .”  And Nestor’s right, it kind of is like that.  “Who the fuck wants to go back to a prison cell?” Nestor wonders aloud.   His friend stands there a moment before he turns around and gets right to the heart of the matter.  “This is because she has the Force, isn’t it?  It’s because she’s like you.  That’s why you like her.”

 

“That’s part of it,” Kylo has to concede.

 

Nestor nods as he warms to his theme.  “You never would have given a girl like this a second look if she didn’t have the Force.”  He eyes Kylo a moment and warns, “Snoke won’t like this.  You know he won’t.”

 

“Let me handle that.”

 

“Kylo, be careful.  If he senses a threat from you two aligned then--”

 

“I said I’d handle it.”

 

“Yeah, okay.”  Nestor looks around one last time as if deciding.  Then he walks over and claps him on the back.  “We’ll find your girl.  I’ll help you find your girl.”

 

Kylo tries to feel encouraged.

 

“Come on, let’s go.  It’s hot.  I think I hate this planet.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The Resistance has not established its new base yet.  Its meager forces assemble at a rendezvous point on the edge of the Core.  There everyone sorts through who is alive, who is dead, and who and what are missing.  These determinations are an unfolding process that takes time.  Every few days a lost ship arrives with news.  Some transports limp in heavily damaged.  Others ferry Resistance passengers who themselves are heavily damaged.  Every now and then someone shows up who eyewitnesses have reported as dead.  Then, there is much rejoicing.  But mostly, the mood is grim and determined.

 

A lot of effort is spent trying to confirm who is dead in the chain of command.  Unfortunately, that appears to include the guy who took Rey’s comlink.  Now her only link to Kylo is gone.  As far as Rey is concerned, that's all the more reason to get back to Jakku.

 

Getting halfway across the galaxy back to Jakku is a high priority for her but a low priority for the Resistance.  That’s understandable under the circumstances.  The galaxy is in complete disarray and space travel is suddenly very dangerous.  Rey tries to be patient.  But after a week goes by and then another, things get much worse.  The galaxy quickly divides itself into First Order worlds and Resistance/New Republic worlds.  There are a few systems who attempt a stance of neutrality.  But the Rim, including Jakku, is now deep in First Order territory.  Now a return trip home requires sneaking behind enemy lines and avoiding the usual hyperspace lanes.  Going home on a Resistance transport is now extremely dangerous.  And commercial space flight requires paperwork and credits Rey doesn't have. 

 

"We'll get you home, Rey.  Just be patient a little while longer," Luke Skywalker tells her.  But she gets the feeling that the Jedi is in no hurry for her to leave. 

 

Hanging out at the Resistance is quite comfortable.  They feed her, she has an actual bed to sleep in, and she gets a daily shower.  During the day, Rey works for a few hours as a mechanic.  It’s light duty.  After the heavy casualties of the Starkiller battle and the hasty retreat that followed, the Resistance fleet is very depleted.  They are down to one wing of fighters from five.  And that means there is a lot less work to be done.  Many of the pilots do their own maintenance on their ships, so Rey mostly assists here and there.  She listens to their war stories and hears all the ways they have customized their ships.  Sometimes, it's aesthetic but usually it's mechanical.  Things like trigger sensitivity and engine performance.  Unlike the rigid anonymous uniformity of the First Order, the Resistance has no issue with its members expressing their individuality.  And given how short they are of pilots currently, no one has any incentive to complain. 

 

Rey knows starships and her many hours in the flight simulator mean she knows space flight.  She speaks the language of these men and women, and they develop an easy rapport.  Rey especially likes a young pilot a few years her senior named Jessika.  It's not long before Jessika and the lead Resistance pilot Poe Dameron approach Rey to join their combat squadron.  Rey politely declines, reminding them that she’s going back home to Jakku.

 

That’s only half the explanation, but it’s the most convenient one.  By now, Rey has seen enough names of lost friends scrawled on pilot helmets to understand the mortality rate for these brave men and women.  The pilots all fly in memory of several close friends now gone.  Rey is not anxious to be added to their lists of honorees.  She's no fan of genocide but she's not about to fight and die for abstract ideas.   Jessika and Poe won't understand that view, Rey instinctively knows.  They, like their brethren, have found something to fight for with the Resistance.  But Rey of Jakku has been fighting her whole life and she doesn't go looking for conflicts.  She's only here because, in a strange irony of fate, the Resistance is the safest place for her right now.  And as always, Rey wants to survive. 

 

Part of Rey wishes she could believe in the cause like Jessika and Poe do, for their high-minded words are very appealing.  Much more appealing than the angry First Order speeches by General Hux.  But Rey is a realist about life.  In a galaxy so large with diverse species and interests, she's not surprised that democracy has failed to satisfy people.   It works well for many individual systems, but Rey questions whether it is the right form of government for the galaxy at large.  That's heresy at the Resistance, of course, so she keeps her opinions to herself.  Mostly, Rey just listens to the political discussions of others.  She’s heard enough of them by now to realize that a lot of the Resistance members come from Core and Mid Rim worlds.  They live in a comparatively privileged bubble and they don’t realize how bad things are on the Rim.  But when everyone you talk to holds the same opinions as yourself and the holonet newsfeeds you watch share the same slant, you never get exposed to opposing views that aren’t screamed at you by crazy General Hux.   

 

And that’s the problem with the attitudes of some among the Resistance, Rey thinks.  They seem incapable of understanding that there are good people who perceive the First Order’s goals as common sense, rather than extremism.    They refuse to perceive that what the Resistance thinks of as fascist threats, others welcome as refreshing straight talk.  In a galaxy full of complicated problems and shades of grey, there are many who welcome the simple pragmatic solutions and black-or-white dichotomy of the First Order.   Are all those people all hateful, violent extremists?  Rey thinks not.  But many in the Resistance would vehemently disagree.

 

And therein lies the fundamental problem.    Because the idyllic democracy the Resistance seeks depends on the ability to listen to opposing views and find areas of compromise.  Few people she’s met at the Resistance seem prepared to do that.  And perhaps so soon in the wake of the Starkiller, that’s understandable.  For peace and compromise seem to be as much a casualty of that attack as the Hosnia System.

 

Time hanging out with the Resistance does not bring much clarity to Rey about Kylo Ren either.  Some superficial things make more sense.  Rey understands now why Kylo had said that his family was responsible for the Rebellion.  It's also clear why his mother was the unacknowledged daughter of the Empire's Sith enforcer.  And Rey realizes now how Kylo would have recognized the famous Millennium Falcon years after it had fallen to ruin. 

 

But the more fundamental issues don't make sense.  Rey wishes she could ask General Leia and her brother more about Kylo.  But she risks betraying her relationship to him and that will jeopardize her current safe haven here at the Resistance.  For all she knows, they might arrest her.  It’s frustrating because there are so many things Rey wants to know.  Most of all, she wants to know how this family came to be at war with one another.  How did Darth Vader's children come to be the stars of the Rebellion?   What went wrong at the Jedi Academy between Luke Skywalker and the young Ben Solo?  And how did General Leia come to be at war with her own son?    Not once has anyone mentioned Darth Vader and Rey thinks that's a very intentional omission.  General Leia grows silent and sad on the few occasions anyone mentions Kylo Ren.  Luke Skywalker just looks resigned and a bit annoyed. 

 

The family member the Skywalker siblings speak about is Han Solo.  Rey is surprised to learn that the colorful smuggler was Kylo’s father, the general's estranged husband, and the Jedi's longtime best friend.  Han Solo died the courageous hero he had been years ago during the Rebellion with his loyal wookiee sidekick by his side.  Everyone misses him, Rey comes to understand.  And everyone has a story to share about him. 

 

Loyalty is a tricky thing, Rey is learning.  For there are always conditions involved.  And even someone who wants to be loyal, like she herself, can find themselves in extenuating circumstances.  Some days, Rey regrets that she ever left Jakku with Luke Skywalker.  And some days, she regrets that she had ever gone back to Jakku from the _Finalizer_ in the first place.  But Rey had made both decisions out of loyalty to a family she hoped would return.  And in the process, she has ended up ostensibly loyal to a Resistance cause she doesn't much support and disloyal to her First Order boyfriend she misses. 

 

All in all, it has been a lot of good intentions gone astray.  It's the sort of thing an open conversation ought to clear up.  Except that's not a possibility when you have no means of communication and you're on opposing sides of a war listening to people with competing agendas.  Rey gets lost in the confusion of it all most days.   And that's when she steps back and reminds herself that the primary agenda that matters is her own.  Aside from the family she now knows is gone, all Rey of Jakku has ever wanted is to survive.  And that becomes her driving motivation for decisions:  what gives her the best chance to survive.  So far, she thinks that means staying with the Resistance and out of combat.   And so when Poe and Jessika come around a second time to make a pitch to join their squadron, Rey again refuses.  She’s not going to take part in this war, she reminds them.  She’s going back to Jakku.  Any day now, she’s going back to Jakku.


	13. Chapter 13

When you take Rey out Jakku, you take a little of Jakku out of Rey.  Some of her confidence fades.  She's not used to being around so many people constantly.  And she is not used to openly friendly people.  Rey knows how to handle herself on Jakku amid the mostly indifferent and sometimes hostile inhabitants.  But she doesn't know how to handle herself around people who smile at her in the hallway or come up and introduce themselves when she's working.  It's disarming to Rey and she finds herself tongue tied and uncharacteristically shy.   It is a strange irony of life that Rey of Jakku can stare down a rival scavenger like Teedo but she is thoroughly intimidated by the girls in the makeshift dorm who want to gossip and style her hair.  Gamely, Rey tries to fit into these social settings.  Mostly, she watches and learns. 

 

Except tonight, when Rey becomes the focus of the gossip.

 

"You got a boyfriend back on Jakku?" Jessika asks Rey.  They are part of a late-night gab session in the dorm.  Someone is passing around a bottle of liquor and the conversation is getting personal. 

 

"Yeah, you got a cute boyfriend?" asks another girl whose name Rey can't remember.  There are a lot of new faces here to keep track of.  “A pretty girl like you has to have a boyfriend.”

 

Rey is stumped by this question.  Who is Kylo Ren to her?  He said he wanted to be with her after the war ends but that could be years from now.  And it was probably a silly, romantic spur of the moment idea because they had only known each other a brief time beforehand.  Rey is mulling it over when she notices that her silence has attracted interest.  All the girls are looking at her expectantly now. 

 

So, Rey tepidly begins.  "There is this guy . . . "

 

"Oooh.  Tell us more!"  Jessika squeals.  Jessika has had one to many hits on that bottle of liquor, Rey thinks.

 

She opens her mouth to answer when General Organa unexpectedly walks in.  Everyone starts to climb to their feet but the general impatiently waves off this protocol.  For a princess and a general, Leia Organa has a very informal nature.  “Sit down everybody, please.  I’m not here to interrupt.  I’m just looking for some company.”  The general takes a seat on a nearby cot and smiles as she surveys the group of women.  Rey is the youngest of the group.  The oldest is maybe thirty. 

 

“Well, this brings back memories,” Leia Organa declares wistfully.  “When I was your age, I was with the Rebellion.  We used to hang out in the women's dorm drinking and braiding each other's hair.  Not much has changed except the hairstyles, I see.  Have you started talking about boys yet?  We always used to end up talking about boys.” 

 

“You're just in time, ma’am,” Jessika pipes up with a slightly tipsy grin.  “Rey is telling us about her boyfriend.”

 

“He's not really a boyfriend,” Rey hedges.  Now that Kylo’s mother is here, this conversation has gone from awkward to downright weird.  “I don’t really think of him as a boyfriend . . . “

 

“Not yet?”  Leia Organa raises an eyebrow and her still young brown eyes twinkle.  The general focuses on her now and approves of Jessika’s flat ironing efforts.  “I like that hairstyle, Rey.  Straight hair looks good on you.  It’s very becoming.” 

 

Jessika beams with pride at her handiwork.  “Yeah, doesn't she look Upper Level now?”   Someone hands Rey a mirror and, yeah, she does look fancy.  Like one of the celebrity girls on the holonet.  Very posh and enviably high maintenance.

 

“No one would think you're from Jakku with hair like that,” the general smiles and Rey can’t help but smile back.  “So . . . tell us about this boy who’s not a boyfriend.”

 

"He's tall, dark and handsome," Rey says softly, remembering the first day she met Kylo when he had stood on the bridge of a wreck looking out.  He had seemed so noble, so dashing and so fervent then.  Had that been when she had fallen for him?  Maybe, Rey thinks.   Kylo had stood there saying nothing and yet something about him had drawn her to him anyway.  Kylo Ren can be very compelling, she thinks.  Even when he’s not trying.

 

“Is he a scavenger too?” someone asks.

 

“Oh, no.  He works on a big ship.”  Rey tries to be vague. 

 

“Ooh!   So, he's a spacer then?”  Jessika’s eyes light up.

 

“Something like that.”  Kylo does fly a ship, Rey rationalizes.  It’s not quite a lie.

 

“A legitimate spacer is a respectable trade.  It's the smugglers you have to watch out for, Rey,” General Leia advises.   “I fell for a scoundrel smuggler I met on the Death Star.  Nothing was ever the same after that.”  The smile fades from her face and Rey knows that Leia Organa is remembering her late husband.

 

The knowledge that the smuggler and one-time Rebellion general Han Solo also happened to be the father of Kylo Ren and the best friend of Luke Skywalker feels bizarre.  As connections like these keep coming to light, more and more Rey feels like she's seeing history repeat itself.  Darth Vader and his Empire had fought against the trio of Leia Organa, Han Solo and Luke Skywalker.  And now that same trio are fighting against the Empire loving Kylo Ren.  It’s like waging war and building Death Star type weapons are some kind of twisted family tradition.  And that angers Rey.  For if she were lucky enough to have any living family members, she would never allow this sort of conflict.   It's unnatural, she thinks.  Families are supposed to love and support one another.

 

But looking at Han Solo’s widow blink back tears, Rey feels the same sympathy for Leia Organa that her young friends do.  “We’re all so sorry for your loss, ma’am,” Jessika speaks up on behalf of the group.

 

The general nods slowly.  She sighs heavily as she collects herself.  And then Leia Organa becomes the old veteran campaigner imparting her hard-earned wisdom to the young.  “We’ve all lost someone in this fight, haven’t we?  But we still fight on.”

 

Around Rey there is a chorus of support for this sentiment.  Then everyone falls silent. 

 

The girl whose name Rey can never remember now attempts to lighten the mood.  She changes the topic back to Rey. “So, have you kissed him, Rey?”

 

Rey grins.  “Yeah . . . I’ve kissed him.”

 

That response eggs her eager audience on and the next question floors Rey completely.    “Have you slept with him?” someone asks.  


“Uhhh . . . “  Rey hesitates because how does she answer that question without looking slutty?   After all, she had said Kylo wasn’t her boyfriend.  And worst of all, Kylo’s mother is here listening to the answer. 

 

Jessika must read the hesitancy on her face because she intervenes.  “You don't have to answer that question.”   But from the looks on everyone's faces, yes, she does.

 

Rey feels her cheeks flame.  But gamely, she tries to open up and play along with the girl talk.  “We spent three days on his ship once.  That's the longest I have ever been away from Jakku before this.”

 

“And????” someone prompts her.

 

Are they really looking for her to kiss and tell?  Rey draws the line at sharing any details.  Instead, she discloses, “And he wants us to be together after the war is over.  He asked me to wait for him.”

 

Everyone agrees that is very romantic.  And now, the questions keep coming.   “How did you meet him?”  

 

“I was out scavenging in a wreck when I ran into him.  He came to see the battlefield.  He's a history buff.”  Rey smiles at the memory.  “He kept coming around and we became friends.  And then . . . uh . . .”

 

“Lovers!” Jessika squeals giddily.  She and all the other girls are grinning stupidly at Rey now.

 

“I miss him,” Rey says softly.   “I really miss him.”

 

Leia Organa, who has sat observing, suddenly speaks up.  “He’s why you want to go back to Jakku, isn’t he?” the general probes and Rey nods yes.  “Is he your first serious boyfriend?” 

 

“He’s my only boyfriend,” Rey admits.   And now, it’s her turn to ask the questions.  Leia Organa is a very busy woman and Rey has only seen her a handful of times.  So she doesn’t want to waste this opportunity.  “General, how did you get involved in the Rebellion?” Rey asks, hoping to learn more of this woman’s family history.

 

“From my father.  Bail Organa was a patriot of the Old Republic.  My mother ran Alderaan while my father helped behind the scenes in the Rebellion.  He was involved from the beginning, using his diplomatic immunity as cover to act as liaison between Rebellion cells.  I started tagging along when I was a teenager.  That was before the Rebellion became organized into the Alliance under Mon Mothma.” 

 

It doesn’t escape Rey’s notice that Leia Organa doesn’t call Darth Vader her father.  However did this woman become the princess of Alderaan if she was Darth Vader’s secret daughter, Rey wonders.  She makes a note to add this to her list of questions for Kylo.  It’s starting to be a very long list.

 

“Bail Organa was a great man. And a brave man,” General Leia says with pride.  “He died on Alderaan with my mother.”  The older woman shakes her head with regret now.  “I watched them die.  I was on the Death Star watching.  I never thought I would live to see another weapon like that, but now I’ve seen two more.  Hosnia . . . “  Her voice trails off and there is a moment of sympathetic silence from the group.  “Hosnia is Alderaan all over again.”

 

“Hosnia is why we fight,” Jessika says in that fiercely committed way of hers.  Around the room there are nods of agreement.

 

“Yes, well, we are all here for different reasons.  But we all want the same things—peace, justice and democracy.  I’ve been fighting to make the galaxy a better place for decades now.  And I'll keep fighting until the end.”  Leia Organa slants a glance over at her.  “You should join us, Rey.  We could use your help.  We’ll even welcome your boyfriend too, if he wants to join.”

 

Everyone is looking at Rey expectantly again now.  And this time, she doesn’t cave to the peer pressure.  “I don’t think so . . . I'm going home, remember?  I’m going home to Jakku.  I’m not much of a fighter . . . “ she finishes lamely.

 

Fighting is a way of life for Leia Organa, Rey thinks.  Maybe because it's all she knows and all she has left.  Watching her now, Rey thinks that she never wants to be Leia Organa.  With thousands of entries on the holonet and in the history books, but alone and old.   Her husband dead, her son estranged, and her brother disappearing for years at a time into exile.  The general may have had a remarkable career, but it has clearly come at great personal cost.  What’s the point in blowing up a Death Star if you just have to blow up two more of them?   All those years of struggle and war and what does this woman have to show for it?  More struggle and more war.   Leia Organa was a princess who might have spent her life many ways, but instead she chose war.  All for an idealized view of the future that pragmatic Rey can’t relate to.  All the other girls clearly admire the general for her commitment and sacrifice.  But Rey thinks it all seems like a waste.   And that makes her sad.

 

“Everyone is a fighter, Rey,” Leia Organa observes pointedly.  “In the end, every principled person has something they will fight and die for besides themselves.”

 

Rey looks away and she senses the general take note.  Leia Organa gets up to leave now.  “Thanks for letting me stop by girls.  This was fun.  It bought back old times.”  Everyone smiles and waves goodbye.  “Rey, come have a word with me about Jakku.“  The general motions with her head to follow her and that’s not a good sign.  But Rey dutifully ducks into the hallway with Kylo’s mother.

 

Leia Organa looks her in the eye. 

 

“This boyfriend back on Jakku—he’s First Order, isn’t he?”

 

Rey swallows hard.  “What do you mean?”

 

“You said that you have to wait until the war is over to be together.  Until a few weeks ago, the war was pretty localized and not a reason to disrupt anyone’s life who wasn’t in it.”  Again, Leia Organa looks her in the eye.  “Is this boy in the First Order?”

 

Rey chooses her words carefully.  “He supports the First Order’s politics, yes.  But he’s not actually in the military, general.  There is no First Order on Jakku.”  Rey reminds Leia Organa of what she already knows, “A lot of people on the Rim sympathize with the First Order.”

 

“What about you, Rey?   Are you loyal to the First Order?” the general asks point blank.  “Is that why you want to leave us?”

 

“No,” Rey answers truthfully.  “I want to stay out of this war.  I want to go home to Jakku and resume my life.”

 

Leia Organa doesn’t give up.  “This boy could be very dangerous for you, Rey.  He could cause you to come into contact with people who might reveal you to Kylo Ren.  It might be a complete accident, Rey, and not intentional.  But the results would be the same:  you’d be dead.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“Do you?” Leia Organa challenges bluntly.  “I worry that you don’t understand this risk at all, Rey, or you wouldn’t be so anxious to return home to this boy.  He could be very dangerous for you,” the general repeats.  “This boyfriend could get you killed.”

 

And, really, the general has no idea how dangerous the situation is, Rey thinks to herself.  “I understand.”

 

“You’re not some ordinary person, Rey.  I know you think of yourself like that, but you’re not.  I don’t want to see you added to the list of my son’s victims.”  Leia Organa looks away as she says this.  “The Force . . . well, the Force can be a burden.  And if you’re not careful, it might be your death sentence.” 

 

On that happy note, Leia Organa walks away.  Unsettled Rey goes back in with the other girls and reaches for a drink from the liquor bottle. 

 

Unlike Leia Organa who Rey seldom sees, Luke Skywalker keeps coming around.   He talks to her about the Force and Rey listens politely.  She’s interested mostly because she wants to understand the great mystery of why the Force is so special and so dangerous.  If the Force could get her killed, she had better learn more about. 

 

She’s hanging around one afternoon haphazardly organizing tools when the Jedi walks up again.  Luke Skywalker sits down on a nearby bench and pats beside him.  “Come and meditate with me, Rey.  Feel the Force.”

 

Rey looks dubious, but she sits down.  The Jedi is not so bad, she’s decided.  Rey likes this Skywalker better than his sister.  This one doesn’t talk a lot.  Maybe it’s because he spent so many years a recluse, but Luke Skywalker doesn’t talk a lot.  Plus, he’s very calm.

 

“Close your eyes,” Skywalker tells her.  “Stretch out with your feelings.  Feel the Force flowing through you.  It’s in you.  It’s in me.  It’s everywhere.”

 

Rey closes her eyes and stays that way for a long moment. 

 

“Do you feel it?” he whispers. 

 

“I’m not sure,” Rey admits.

 

“The Force is what gives a Jedi his power.  In turn, he uses that power to help people.”

 

“I thought they used the Force to fight the Sith.“  Rey remembers old Lor San Tekka’s stories of Jedi fighting the Sith.

 

“Sometimes.  But there are alternatives to fighting.  Mostly, the Jedi sought to avoid conflict and to diffuse disputes.”  And that makes Rey wonder whether this man’s years in exile were a means to avoid conflict.  There’s a story behind why this man left and stayed away.  And probably a story behind why he came back.   But Rey hasn’t worked up the nerve to ask.

 

“I don’t feel anything,” Rey sighs.  “I don’t feel any different.”   She gives up.

 

Skywalker sees her impatience.  “The Force takes practice, Rey.  Try it again sometime soon.”

 

Rey ignores this advice until a few days later when Luke Skywalker comes around again.  Rey agrees to attempt to find the Force mostly to make him go away.  The results are the same.  Rey closes her eyes and concentrates and . . . nothing.  She’s about to get up when she leaps out of the way of an object heading straight for her. 

 

“Hey!”  Rey complains as she looks around  “What was that?”  She retrieves a small wadded up piece of paper that someone had lobbed straight at her nose.  Perplexed, she looks up to find old Luke Skywalker grinning at her.  “Did you throw this?” she asks, a bit annoyed at this childish prank.

 

“Yes.  How did you see it coming?”

 

“What?”

 

“You had your eyes closed, Rey.  How did you know it was coming?”

 

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, still annoyed.  “I guess I just saw it.”

 

“You saw it in your mind through the Force,” Skywalker observes, looking very pleased.  “Rey, I think that you have a very strong, almost unconscious connection to the Force.  It’s so second nature to you that you don’t even know that you are doing it.  So when you try to connect to the Force, it doesn’t feel any different than usual.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Rey, you have a very great gift,” the Jedi tells her and it reminds her of the lectures from the Church of the Force evangelists.  “You should not waste it.  Your power in the Force could help many people.”

 

“I’m going back to Jakku,” she reminds him.  Even if she has to steal a ship and take her chances on her own running the First Order blockade of the Rim, Rey is going back to Jakku.   She’s tired of waiting.  The Resistance gets two more days, Rey decides suddenly.  After that, she’s taking matters into her own hands. 

 

“Leia told me about your boyfriend on Jakku.”  The way Luke Skywalker says this makes it clear that he strongly disapproves.  But he doesn’t try to talk her out of returning like his sister had.  “Rey, until you leave, let me give you a few lessons on the Force,” Skywalker cajoles.  “It might help you back on Jakku,” he suggests, appealing to her pragmatic nature. 

 

And that soft pitch wins the day.  “Okay,” Rey agrees without much enthusiasm.  “But I’m leaving soon, you know.”  Two days from now, she adds to herself.   Two days from now she’s going back to Jakku.


	14. Chapter 14

For Kylo Ren, there is plenty of work to be done.  And that helps to distract him from Rey. 

 

His most pressing task is to locate the Resistance.  The military is convinced that the enemy has decamped to a new hidden location en masse.  But Kylo is not so sure.  For years, the old Rebellion had survived by dividing itself into small, self-sufficient cells.  When his grandfather found and destroyed one cell, the others continued the cause without being significantly weakened.  This strategy of using numerous, smaller presences across the galaxy not only decreased risk, it also increased the scope and reach of the Rebellion.  So Kylo is not convinced that the First Order should be looking for one base.  It’s probably more like five bases.

 

Not everyone is persuaded.  His generals all continue to think that they are still fighting the New Republic. That this war is a traditional struggle between relative equals, like the Separatists versus the Old Republic.  But Kylo Ren is Leia Organa's son and he knows how these sly terrorists think.  He also knows that the Resistance general hasn't had a new thought or considered a new strategy since the Battle of Endor long before he himself was born.  His mother will default to the tried-and-true, and that means Rebellion-era tactics.  Kylo Ren orders probe droids dispersed throughout the galaxy and the hunt is on. 

 

It turns out that his nemesis General Hux did survive the Starkiller along with a few of his most senior aides.  But the bulk of Hux’s cult of personality died when the planet collapsed.  The defeated general had promptly reported back to Snoke's lair.  He hasn't been seen since.   And that does not bode well for General Hux. 

 

It is, however, excellent news for Kylo Ren.  With his annoying, would-be rival gone, his Master has given him command over the First Order fleet.  Now the military brass all begrudgingly report to the Master of the Knights of Ren.  There is plenty of grumbling and even a few unwise attempts at insubordination, but after one or two slashes of his sword no one dares to question Kylo Ren’s leadership. 

 

Commanding the fleet is a private milestone moment.  For just like Darth Vader, Kylo now commands a military he is separate and apart from.  And like his grandfather, Kylo is accountable only to his Master.  In many ways, this means Kylo is doing both Hux's job as general and his own job as Master of the Knights of Ren.  It keeps him very busy.  But not too busy to think about Rey.

 

Kylo reminds himself that he and Rey only knew each other a little over a month.  That the intensity of their brief time together is probably misleading.  He never meant it to be a fling, but that's all it turned out to be.  And that's probably for the best in the end.  He's in the middle of a war and he doesn't have time for a girl.  And no matter how amazing her Light feels, it is still dangerous to him and to his Master.  Letting her live was a transgression in and of itself.  But starting some torrid relationship with her?   Well, his Master certainly would not approve.   It’s blue lightning for sure if old Darth Plagueis ever learns about Rey.

 

Those arguments are all rational and convincing.  But he's a Sith so emotion always gets the better of him.  And so in odd moments of his day, Kylo recalls Rey tugging him up a sand ridge to see a field of flowers.  Then, it’s Rey standing staff in hand, feet planted apart, looking fierce except for the wide smile on her face.  Or Rey appraising his power converters with a jaundiced eye and asking if they were stolen.  Everything about Rey--from her Light to her charm to her mystery--had been so unexpected.  Kylo Ren had fallen for her hard and fast. 

 

And then she had been kissing him in the pilot seat of his shuttle.  Naked, soapy and wet up against the wall of his shower.  Grunting softly as he plowed deep into her in his bed.  In his arms, his Rey had been childishly uninhibited and gluttonous for pleasure. The farthest thing from all the military discipline that now surrounds him day in, day out. 

 

Gods, he misses her. 

 

Kylo tries to find her in the Force, but he never succeeds.  If he had more time, he might have taught her how to connect with him in the Force.  And then there would have been no distance too great and no need for a comlink.  But three days on the _Finalizer_ when he had been focused on killing Luke Skywalker had not been enough time.   He should have locked her away at his castle.  Or kept her on the _Finalizer_.  Anything but let her return to Jakku.  But it's too late for that.  All there is left to do is brood over his regrets. 

 

“Is that the Starkiller post mortem you’re reading?” Nestor Ren asks as he slumps into the shuttle seat across from him.   “I read that.  Hux blamed everyone but himself.”  Nestor grunts his disapproval.  “At least Tarkin and Vader went down with their Death Stars.  They didn’t leave everyone else to die as they fled.”

 

“With everyone else dead, there was no one to dispute his version of events.”  Kylo looks up from his datapad and smirks.  “I bet Hux wishes he went down a martyr.  Aside from this report he filed, no one has seen that guy since he reported to Snoke.”

 

“Good riddance to him.”  The beefy blonde knight stretches and sprawls now as he slants a glance over at him.  “Any news from Jakku?” he asks casually.

 

Kylo shakes his head.  “Nothing.” 

 

He has informants on Jakku at all the points of commerce.  At every place Rey could sell scrap or buy supplies.  He’s even sent probe droids to explore the ships' graveyard and to keep watch over Rey's home.  Weeks have become months and Rey is still missing. 

 

Obsessively, Kylo runs the most obvious scenarios through his mind.  Rey went out scavenging and she got hurt.  Her cable snapped in an elevator shaft and she plummeted to her death.  Or maybe a rival scavenger jumped her to steal her find.  Perhaps an old bomb exploded too near her.   However it happened, his girl died violently and she died alone in agony. 

 

Or maybe she succumbed to the desert.  She got caught out in the open in a bad sandstorm and suffocated.  She fell victim to one of those poisonous snakes she always worried about.  She was swallowed by the sand in the sinking fields.  However it happened, the harsh environment Rey both feared and loved had claimed her in the end. 

 

Then, there are the outlier theories.  The slavers had come back for revenge.  Kylo blames himself for this possibility for he had let that one guy live to tell the tale and hold a grudge.  And now perhaps his Rey is dead or has been sold into bondage to be used and abused.  The most uncomfortable scenario has one of his enemies locating Rey.  After all, Kylo Ren's brutality is legendary.  Perhaps some aggrieved person decided to take an eye for an eye and Rey's life was forfeit to revenge.   The details of how it happened don’t really matter, all that matters is that he himself is responsible. 

 

The silence hangs heavy between the two men and suddenly it’s awkward.  Nestor used to conclude these conversations with encouragement.   Telling him that Rey will turn up once the tumultuous Starkiller aftermath dies down.  But as the weeks have ticked by, that optimism has gone quiet.  Now, Nestor concludes these updates with a simple, “I’m sorry, Kylo.”

 

Kylo makes a face as he looks away.  “Yeah.  I’m sorry too.”

 

Nestor sits back a moment.  Then he observes, “You need a wider dragnet.  We have half the galaxy.  You need to get all those local authorities we control mobilized to look for you.”

 

Kylo’s eyes narrow at this suggestion.  “Are you saying that I should arrest her?”

 

Nestor shrugs.  “Why not?  The First Order pretty much did that once before on Jakku, right?  But you were there to pardon her in exchange for three days in bed.  So . . . no harm done.”  Nestor winks man-to-man.

 

But Kylo frowns at this implication.  “It was hardly a quid pro quo.”

 

His friend warms to his idea as he sits back and crosses his arms.  “Make it worth their while to find her.  Put a bounty on her so large that it gets everyone's attention,” Nestor suggests. 

 

“You want me to post a reward for finding my missing girlfriend?”

 

“No one needs to know that.”  Nestor levels him a serious look.  “You’re Kylo-fucking-Ren and you can arrest whoever you want for whatever reason.  Besides, what’s the point of having power if you don’t misuse it every now and then for a good cause?”

 

Nestor misunderstands.  Kylo’s not quibbling over the impropriety.  He’s worried about how Rey will react.  “What girl is going to like getting arrested, Nestor?” he complains. 

 

“Look, she knows you, right?   She knows what you do.  She probably won't even be surprised at this tactic,” Nestor argues.  And he has a point.  “Come on, Kylo.  You’re Sith.  I mean, you don't meet a Sith at a picnic.  And you don’t expect a Sith to sit back and do the passive Mr. Sensitive Guy routine.” 

 

“We met in a battlefield,” Kylo reminisces aloud.  “I chased her out of an old star destroyer.  She was frightened and ready to beat me with a stick.”

 

“She sounds perfect for you,” Nestor says dryly.  “Only a Sith would be hot for a girl who wants to fight him.  And a Sith doesn’t take his girl on dates, he locks her in his quarters and takes her to bed between meetings over how to kill a Jedi.  See what I mean?  None of this will shock her in the end.”

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

“So how did you leave it with her on Jakku?  Was it clear that you were a couple?”  Nestor slants him a sideways glance.  “Could she be thinking you ghosted on her because she keeps sending messages to your melted comlink?   So now she’s pissed and ignoring you?   A woman scorned is not a pretty thing, trust me.” 

 

Kylo shakes his head.  “I asked her to wait for me.  So we could be together after the war is over.”

 

Nestor’s eyes widen.  “This is serious then,” he accuses.

 

Kylo nods.  “She's special, Nestor.”

 

“Good,” his friend approves.  “She needs to be special to be your girl, Kylo.  Did you seal this deal with a ring or something?

 

“A ring??”   What?  He makes a face at his friend.  “No.  I told you—I left her with basic supplies.  And a new fighting staff and a blaster.” 

 

“You gave her weapons?”  Nestor chuckles.  “How very you.  Nothing says I love you like a big stick and a new blaster--” 

 

“Yes.  She needed them.” Kylo is defensive.  “Jakku is dangerous.”  And now he’s worried.  “Should I have given her something nice?”  It had never occurred to him to get her a ring.  Kylo has plenty of experience with girls but none of it involves actual dating.  Or feelings.  Or commitment.  This is all very new to him.

 

Nestor shrugs.  “You gotta appreciate a woman, Kylo.  Especially when they’re cool with you arresting them.  That takes a special kind of girl.”

 

Yes, he thinks.  It takes Rey of Jakku.  The scavenger girl with no experience with relationships who has lived such a brutal life that she expects bad treatment.  The memory of Rey throwing herself into his arms on the _Finalizer_ flashes up to Kylo.  And it hurts.  How he regrets that he didn’t stomp into the Falcon to collect Rey himself and spare her those additional few minutes of fear. 

 

When Kylo finally looks up, Nestor is looking at him with pity.  “Think it over, Kylo.  If she's dead, she won't be upset by it.  And if she's alive and found, then you can smooth things over afterwards.  She won’t find out about the warrant unless it works.  Only our troops and the local world police are going to know about this.  And no one but you and her will know why.”

 

“Yeah.  I’ll think about it.” 

 

And he does.  Ultimately, Kylo decides Nestor is right.  And since he's tried everything else, he might as well try this.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey is humoring Luke Skywalker by stacking toolboxes with the Force.  The Jedi is talking her ear off about the Force while he asks her to do simple magic tricks with her mind.   He seems to find all of this fascinating, but it feels pointless to Rey.  Still, it’s her chance to fish for information.  Since she’s leaving tomorrow, this is probably her last chance to hear Luke Skywalker’s version of Kylo Ren.

 

“Good . . . good,” Skywalker approves.  “You are progressing so rapidly that by next week, you will be lifting that Y-wing over there.”

 

Rey scoffs at this.  “That’s impossible.”  Skywalker just smiles that enigmatic smile of his.  Like he knows secrets he isn’t saying. 

 

“What happened with your nephew?” Rey asks as she gets up to retrieve a few tools that shook loose from a box.  “How did he become Kylo Ren?”

 

Skywalker hesitates.

 

“Tell me,” Rey urges.  “If he wants to kill me, I think I have a right to know.”

 

That argument must persuade the Jedi.  He crosses his arms and sits back on the supply crate he’s perched upon.  “Ben was a troubled kid from the beginning,” he begins, tugging at his beard.  Rey now recognizes that to be a nervous gesture.  “I see that with hindsight.  I didn't see it then.”

 

“What do you mean?”  Rey isn’t following. 

 

“Even as boy, Ben was very angry.  Quick to frustration with a hair trigger for violence.  Overly competitive too.  None of the other kids liked him.  He was always in trouble at school.”  The Jedi looks away a moment, as if remembering something.  Then, he continues.  “Leia and Han blamed themselves.   They made a lot of excuses for him too.  My sister was busy building the New Republic.  She didn't have the time to be a hands-on mother.  And Han and Leia had their differences.”  The Jedi frowns and makes a face.  “It was a troubled marriage for years, Rey.  They tried to hold it together for the benefit of Ben but that just exposed him to all their arguments.  They had a lot of arguments.  In the end, Han left and went back to smuggling.  Ben never forgave his parents for splitting up.” 

 

“Oh.”

 

“Rey, my sister is a great leader and a wonderful woman.  But she doesn’t compromise easily.  And Han?  Well, Han was Han,” he says cryptically.  “Look, sometimes people make mistakes even when they are trying their hardest to do the right thing.  Few people set out wanting to do harm.  But sometimes that’s how it ends up when all’s said and done.”

 

“Like my family . . . “ Rey whispers.

 

“Yes,” the Jedi agrees.  “Leia has a strong sense of duty.  I'm sure you've seen that.  She insisted that Ben become a Jedi even though he didn't want it.”  Skywalker shakes his head and sighs.  “I never should have trained him.  I had misgivings from the beginning and I ignored them for Leia’s sake.  She thought that becoming a knight would give Ben the discipline and purpose he lacked.”  The Jedi looks disgusted now.  “As it turns out, becoming a Sith gave him those things.  Old Darth Plagueis did more for that boy than his family ever could.”

 

“So he didn't want to learn the Force?”   That doesn't sound like the Kylo Ren she knows.

 

“No, he didn’t.  Like you, Ben had a lot of natural talent. But he was more interested in history than in the Force.  He would get lost reading his Clone Wars history for hours.  At the time, I thought his interest in war was harmless.  And since he had no friends, he needed some outlet.  Ben was always very bright, Rey.  He was an excellent student without even trying.  It was the social aspect of school where he failed.  Even at a tender age, he was an angry loner.”

 

The intelligence and the interest in history and in war Rey recognizes in the Kylo she knows.   But the angry loner?  Well, maybe.   

 

“When Ben became a teen, things got worse.  We all thought it was more of the same.  Just Ben's exaggerated version of normal teenaged angst and rebellion.  We were wrong.  Terribly wrong.”  Luke Skywalker’s face looks bleak now at the painfilled memories she is dredging up.  “I never saw it coming, Rey.  I returned one day and he had murdered all his classmates and fled to Snoke.” 

 

“To Leader Snoke?”  She’s confused.

 

“Snoke is not just the Supreme Leader of the First Order, he's the Sith Lord Darth Plagueis.   Somehow, he had met Ben and filled his head full of lies.  My nephew went from being an immature, troubled kid to being a monster after he met Snoke.”  Luke Skywalker holds her gaze.  “Beware the Dark Side of the Force.  It gives you easy power, Rey.  But in the end, it will take far more than it gives.  You can get drunk on that power and addicted to its feeling and its violence.  There are no limits and no rules except obedience to your Master.”  Skywalker shakes his head with rueful derision.  “Ben couldn't wait to sign up.” 

 

“Old Snoke has been around a long time, Rey.  That Muun is hundreds of years old and to listen to him tell it, he's had a hand in almost everything that's happened during that time.  He claims to have started the Clone Wars, so of course, Ben was hooked there.  And he claims to have a connection to our family.  Ben was hooked there too.  It's all lies, I fear.  The Sith are deceitful by nature.  Never trust a Sith, Rey.  They will twist your mind and warp your loyalties.  And they will betray you in the end.”

 

“What’s the Dark Side?”  Rey is lost here.

 

“I forget who I’m talking to.”  Luke Skywalker looks a bit sheepish now.   “The lore of the Force is so misunderstood by your generation.  Rey, the Force is a continuum from Light to Dark.  Historically, the Jedi served the Light and the Sith wielded Darkness.  The two traditions were a counterpoint to one another.    The Jedi commune with the Light Side of the Force through calm patience and understanding whereas the Sith encourage passion.  They draw power from the intensity of their feelings.  The Jedi prize self-sacrifice and community.  They put the needs others before their own.   The Sith prize power and ambition.  They are selfish and prideful.  The Light is peaceful and defensive.  Darkness is aggressive.  It can be obsessive and relentless.”

 

Passionate, intense, ambitious, powerful, aggressive.  Yes, Rey thinks, that sounds like the Kylo she knows.

 

Luke Skywalker speaks sternly now.  “Stay in the Light, Rey.  For your own good.  Do not be tempted by the Dark Side of the Force.  In the end, it always leads to suffering.”

 

Rey opens her mouth to ask more, but they are interrupted when General Leia Organa walks up at a brisk pace.  “Rey, you need to see this,” she thrusts a datapad into Rey’s hand.  “You have been discovered.”

 

“What?” Rey looks down at the open file on the datapad.  It's a First Order arrest warrant for her, Rey the scavenger from Jakku.  Complete with her physical description and last known whereabouts near the Niima Outpost.  She is presumed to be armed and dangerous and known to be a proficient pilot and mechanic.  Rey is wanted for questioning and requested to be taken alive and unharmed. 

 

Rey stares at it, stricken.  "W-Why?" 

 

“Because you have the Force,” the Jedi answers as he takes the datapad from her hand to read it for himself.

 

His sister nods her agreement.  "Our intel group intercepted this from our regular monitoring of First Order transmissions. They must have learned about you from the attack on the Church of the Force village.  Rey, you did say that some there knew you had the Force."

 

Rey nods miserably at this. 

 

"That has to be the answer, judging by the amount on this reward bounty.  You're worth as much as I am, Rey," General Organa says with a crooked smile. "Only, they'll pay for me dead or alive." 

 

Leia Organa seems to think this arrest warrant is some kind of badge of honor, but Rey doesn’t know what to think.  Why is Kylo doing this?   He must be angry with her.  He’s probably tired of unreturned calls on the comlink he gave her.  Maybe he’s even assumed that she is rejecting him.  But there's no way to clarify this without a way to contact him.  Rey puts her face in her hands.  Life just got a lot more complicated.

 

Seeing her distress, Leia Organa puts an arm around her shoulders.  "Rey, it will be alright.  There are several here who have warrants for our arrest.  You're in good company." 

 

Luke Skywalker hands his sister back her datapad.  Then he states the obvious, "You can't go back to Jakku now.  You'll be arrested for sure."

 

Rey nods blankly.  "What does this mean?"

 

"It means that you are one of us now, Rey, like it or not,” Leia Organa concludes.  “The only safe place for you now is here with the Resistance."

 

Rey shakes her head.  This is not what she wants.  Even without Kylo Ren, she would never have fought for the Resistance.  But she’s certainly not doing it now.  "I'm not fighting.  I don't want to fight."

 

"Fair enough,” the general sighs.  As usual, she doesn’t understand Rey’s reluctance to embrace her cause.  “You can do a noncombatant job like fly supplies or something.”

 

“I don’t know—“ Rey is uncertain.

 

“Everyone who is here has to help, Rey.  It's either that or risk getting picked up by the First Order."

 

"Kylo Ren kill you if the First Order finds you, Rey," the Jedi warns bluntly. 

 

Rey isn't so sure.  Could it be that Kylo is trying to find her?  "Then why don't they want me dead or alive?" she challenges.

 

"I don't know," he concedes.  “Probably for information.”

 

“But I don’t know any information.”

 

“They don’t know that,” the general reminds her.  She turns to her brother.  "Maybe they want to try and turn her?"

 

"Turn me? What does that mean?”

 

"To turn you to the Dark Side.   To make you Sith,” Luke Skywalker explains. 

 

"That's worse than being dead, Rey," General Leia Organa says sadly.  “Far worse.  Then, you will be a monster like my son."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are worried about triggers for violence, please read the note at the end before you read this chapter.

Luke Skywalker is waiting for Rey when she returns to the new Resistance central base.

 

"How is Phorsa Gedd?" he asks with a smile.  It’s a friendly conversation-starter type question, but Rey isn’t in the mood. 

 

"Okay, I guess."   Rey makes it a habit to unload her supplies and promptly leave when she goes on missions.  She's not really interested in making friends at the outpost bases like Phorsa Gedd she helps to supply.   Plus, she’s come to look forward to the alone time she spends in hyperspace.  It’s hard to be alone for very long at the Resistance, and loner Rey finds that increasingly stressful.

 

"Every time you leave on one of these supply runs, I worry you won't come back," the Jedi says lightly.  But Rey suspects he sees how tempted she is to flee.  

 

Rey would be lying if she said she hadn't considered it.  But the increasingly brutal war dispatches detailing the atrocities of Kylo Ren have her worried.  Still . . . Kylo had plenty of opportunity to kill her before and he had never been anything but gentle and caring towards her.   She can't reconcile the man who begged her to stay but let her go with the murderous, controlling monster the Resistance describes.   The Skywalkers’ version of Kylo Ren as a power mad, brainwashed tool of Snoke doesn't fit with the principled, contemplative man she met.  Rey can't decide if she is wrong or if they are wrong.  Or maybe they are all right and Kylo Ren is all of the things everyone says about him, good and bad.  Rey isn’t sure.  So she defaults to maintaining her status quo hiding with the Resistance.  It still seems to be the safest choice. 

 

"Yeah . . . well, I'm back," Rey grumbles sullenly.   She’s back at least for now.         

 

Is she betraying Kylo by doubting him?  Despite the intensity of their time together, they really haven’t known each other for very long.  Still, Rey had trusted him.  And trust is very hard for the abandoned scavenger raised on lawless Jakku.  Rey worries now that she has betrayed Kylo by even being here at the Resistance, even if she's not in active combat.  Somehow, she thinks he would view her proximity to his mother and uncle more severely than if she actually took up arms against the First Order.  And that’s all the more reason she wants to go home. 

 

More than anything, Rey wants to go home.  Then, if Kylo wants to find her, he can find her on Jakku.  And if they meet again, they will be away from this war and his family and the entrenched conflicts that seem to have no solution other than violence.  He can take off his mask and his uniform and be the man she knows and not the warrior the galaxy and the Skywalkers fear. 

 

She’s been silent too long and Rey looks up to the see the Jedi eyeing her strangely.  "Running away won't solve anything.  It will only endanger you," he warns.

 

And that comment is galling coming from a man who has only recently emerged from self-imposed exile. "Yeah?”  Rey plants a hand on her hip.  “Then why did you run, Master Luke?"  Rey asks him squarely, using the form of address he prefers.   "Where were you for years while this war was brewing?"

 

"I went searching for answers.   I wanted to understand what happened with Ben and to understand how to defeat Snoke.”  Skywalker looks away and pulls at his beard as is his habit.  “I wanted to learn from my failures, Rey.  But I had to leave to do that.”  His answer is heartfelt and guilt ridden and it rings true.  It oddly reminds her of Kylo searching for answers in the crumbling battlefield wreckage on Jakku.  He too had immersed himself in failure to look for lessons.  And for the first time, Rey realizes that the Skywalkers are all very much alike in some ways.  From their reverence for the Force, to their obsession with the past, to their stubborn insistence on shaping the future. 

 

Rey the lowly scavenger of Jakku had only wanted to survive and to find her family.  But then she met a Skywalker prince, and then another, and a princess too.  And now Rey is caught up in their war, precariously trying to exist somewhere in the middle.  It’s unsustainable, she fears.  She’s adrift now too, having learned that the family she waited for is long dead.  And so the belonging she has sought will never come and the belonging that is being offered she does not want.   And the only person she truly cares for wants her arrested.  It’s not clear why.

 

Once, her struggles were simple, even if they were fundamental.  Food.  Water.  Shelter.  Now, her struggles are complex.  Politics.  The Force.  A war.  But they are equally as deadly.  Somehow, life always seems precarious for Rey of Jakku.   And that frustrates her.  Today, her frustration finds its focus on Luke Skywalker.

 

"So did you figure it all out?” she asks and her voice has an edge.  “Is that why you're back?"

 

"No.  I came back because I had a vision in the Force.  It was of you, Rey."

 

"Me?"   Whatever.  Rey can hear another sales pitch for the Jedi and the Resistance coming on.  She can definitely see how Luke Skywalker was buddies with old Lor San Tekka.  They share the same dogged commitment to evangelizing.

 

"In the vision, I saw you in trouble.  You were in danger," the Jedi tells her.  “I'm sorry that you are unhappy here, Rey.  But it's for the best."

 

"That's what you think."   Resentment has been building for months now in Rey.  And now she no longer cares to hold it in.  "I never wanted to be part of this war.  I never wanted to join the Resistance.  And I won't be your new Jedi."  More and more, Rey is feeling maneuvered into the Resistance.  She's feeling trapped here and it might not have been the Skywalker twins' fault, but it is what they wanted.  

 

"Rey--"

 

"You're the great Jedi hero,” she complains.  “Not me.  I'm just a scavenger from Jakku.  Find someone else for your idealistic crusade."

 

"I need your help, Rey.  We all need your help.  Only you can do this."   Skywalker seems to be skipping the lecture today and going straight to the guilt trip.  But Rey has heard this all before. 

 

"Yeah, what do you really want from me?  This isn't about meditation and stacking crates, is it?"

 

"I want to train you properly.  You could be a powerful Jedi, Rey."

 

"And then what?   What would you expect from me then?"

 

Master Luke hesitates and that makes Rey even more suspicious.  "Well?" she prompts.   “What’s this really all about?”

 

Luke Skywalker looks at her steadily, as if gauging her.  And then, sure enough, he says what Rey has been fearing for some time.  "When you are a fully trained Jedi Knight with the Force as an ally, I want you to kill Kylo Ren."

 

Rey freezes.  She stares at the Jedi a long moment before whispering, "No."

 

“He must be stopped.  Snoke cannot be stopped, but Ben can be.  And stopping Ben could force Snoke back into the background again.”

 

“No.”

 

"He's my nephew, Rey.  I've known him since he was born.  And I am at least partly responsible for what he has become.  I can't kill him.  I need you to kill him.”

 

"No."

 

"It's the only way to stop him.  He must be stopped.   He won't be redeemed, Rey.  I tried twice.  His mother tried too.  There is Light in him, but not enough to make a difference.  He is lost to us.  He's a monster now."

 

“No.”  He's not a monster, Rey thinks. Not the Kylo she knows.  She shakes her head contemptuously.  "Do your own dirty work, Jedi."   Extremely irritated now, Rey walks over to grab a fuel hose.  She is only here briefly to reload and refuel.  She's due at the new satellite base on Kardura in five hours.

 

"Rey--"

 

"No!   Do not ask me again!   The answer is no."   Go find some other stooge, Rey thinks.  The last thing she is going to do is kill Kylo Ren.  She's much more likely to join him.  If only to get away from the overbearing Skywalker twins.

 

An hour later, having stewed over her predicament and her conversation with the Jedi, Rey is angry.   Very, very angry.   Feeling manipulated and used.  This is her last supply run, Rey decides.  She'll drop her shipment, refuel and run.    She would just run now but Kardura is running low on foodstuffs.  And Rey of Jakku doesn't want to be the reason anyone goes hungry. 

 

She is setting down her freighter at the base just as the alert begins to sound.  It's the First Order.  And with them is Kylo Ren.

 

* * *

 

 

"Rey . . .”  Kylo is so surprised that he says her name aloud.  And then again.  “Rey . . . “

 

"What?"  Nestor looks up from making last minute checks to his gun.

 

"She's alive.  She’s here."

 

He has Nestor’s full attention now.  "Rey is here??  Like here now?"

 

“Yes.”  Kylo freezes and concentrates.  Yes, Rey’s enormous Force imprint is unmistakable.  It shimmers in his mind’s eye, like sunlight dancing on water.  Sensing her here on Kardura is the most welcome surprise of his life.  He looks over to Nestor as he exhales his words and his relief.  “She’s near.  And she’s scared.  Very scared."

 

Nestor’s eyes narrow.  "How do you know?  Are you sure?"

 

"I feel her in the Force.  She's here, Nestor.  I can sense her.  Rey is here!"  His mind is racing as he considers this unexpected development.    He holds Nestor’s gaze and he can see his friend is thinking exactly what he’s thinking. 

 

“Your girl is here at the Resistance??  What would she be doing . . . awww. . . no . . . no . . . they didn’t . . . “

 

Yes, they did, thinks Kylo.  And today they will pay for what they have done.  "The fucking Resistance has her!  She didn’t leave—they fucking took her!"  Kylo feels his anger rise and with it, his Darkness.  "You lead the raid,” he orders Nestor as he jams on his helmet.   “I'll go find where they are holding her."

 

“No.”  His friend pushes back.  "Let the new kid lead the raid.  He needs the experience.  I'm going with you, Kylo.  I've got your back."

 

Kylo is seething now as he pulls his sword.  “If they’ve hurt her, I’m going to kill every single person here.  Slowly.  Very slowly.”

 

Nestor nods his approval.  "Easy there, Sith.  Let's go in and get her out and then you can kill some terrorists.”  

 

"If those fuckers hurt her--"  

 

"Yeah. I agree. But we're wasting time.  Dax!” Nestor hollers across the shuttle to the newest, most junior knight.  “Dax, you lead the raid.  And don’t fuck it up.  The boss and I have some business to take care of.”  Nestor turns back to him and nods before he jams on his own helmet.   “Come on, Kylo.  Time to be a hero."

 

This outpost base is small and hastily put together out of prefab building units.  It’s new enough that there are actual signs and maps posted throughout.  He and Nestor simply follow the signs to the small detention area.  It’s a mere two cells housing one captured stormtrooper.  They must have moved Rey when the raid began, Kylo concludes.  As Nestor frees the captive trooper, Kylo grabs the sole Resistance guard and puts his sword to the man's throat. 

 

"Where is she?" he hisses.  "Where is the prisoner girl Rey?"

 

"There are no female prisoners," the man gasps and the Force reveals that he's telling the truth.  And now the mystery deepens.

 

"The girl named Rey--where is she?" he barks again.  “I know she’s here.”  The guard keeps his silence so Kylo moves his blade closer to start searing the man’s neck.  And now the guard starts talking in halting, pained gasps as his skin blisters and reddens.

 

"You mean the pilot?"

 

Pilot??   "Tell me about the pilot."

 

"There's a young girl Rey.  She's a pilot."

 

“Tell me more,” he snarls.

 

“She flies supplies in from offsite . . . I don’t know her. . . no one does . . . she keeps to herself . . . shy . . . “

 

Frustrated, Kylo kills the guard and activates the comlink to his men in his helmet.  "Shut down the hangar," he orders his knights.  “Round up every pilot you can find.  I want them alive.”

 

"Done, boss," comes the reply as he and Nestor take off at a run to join the main battle.  It's all over by the time they cut their way through the rear of the remaining Resistance defenses.   His troopers have about thirty prisoners surrounded in what’s left of the hangar.  First Order intel crews are already carting off computer equipment and droids to be analyzed for information.  All that’s left to do is to organize the prisoner ranks and destroy any remaining useful equipment.    

 

"Well done, kid," Nestor commends Dax as they stride in.  But Kylo just stalks right by.  His mind is on other things.

 

Rey is here with the prisoners, he knows.   Slowly, Kylo walks the perimeter of the assembly, looking for her familiar form.   She must be in the middle of the cluster, he decides, since he doesn’t recognize her at first glance.  So he stalks forward, pushing his way through the crowd until he finds her.  Rey is dressed in a pilot’s flightsuit and helmet, doing her best to be anonymous among the rest of the prisoners he’s about to execute.  As if Rey of Jakku could ever blend in.  Her Force signature is blazing out to him.  She can’t hide from him. 

 

Kylo meets her eyes and sees fear.  It pleases him.  She should be afraid, for this Sith is livid.  All the elation of finding Rey alive has abruptly become the bitter pain of betrayal. 

 

He had not seen this coming.

 

The other prisoners have melted back from him, clearing a path as he grabs her arm and literally drags her past the perimeter of stormtrooper guards.  She stands still and trembling as he unbuckles her helmet and casts it aside.  Long dark tresses spill out over her shoulders.  Her hair is styled long and straight now and it reaches halfway down her back.  It looks glossy and shiny and cared for.  Not like the neglected mane he remembers spilling over his pillow and tickling his bare chest.  Her face looks fuller, softer and paler now too.  She’s even wearing makeup.  This woman is not the scorched and gaunt desert scavenger he remembers.   This woman is polished and presentable.  No, she’s beautiful.  Absolutely beautiful, he thinks.  It is as unexpected as it is disarming.

 

He stares at her.

 

She stares at him.

 

He had mourned this girl.  Thought her lost forever to him.   On Hosnia, in a wreck, in a sandstorm, or in some other terrible misfortune.  And so to find her alive today ought to be thrilling.  But somehow it’s worse than her supposed dying.  For Rey is found and she is with the Resistance.  And not as their prisoner, but as their ally.   It is a wounding betrayal.  For Rey had not been harmed or taken, she had left him.   Without explanation or notice.  One day, abruptly she was just gone.  Gone to his enemies. 

 

“Kylo, I can explain—“ she begins.

 

But the disappointment and pain of it all gets the better of him.  He doesn’t want to hear her excuses.

 

“Traitor!” he roars.  Then Kylo steps back and whips his right hand around to catch her hard across the face in a stinging backhand.  Rey of Jakku knows how to take a punch but this swing casts her to her knees.  He looms over her as every eye in the room watches. 

 

“I thought you were dead!  But you’re alive.  Alive and well and at the Resistance!” he fumes as he begins to slowly circle her fallen form.  “You didn’t want to fight in a war, you wanted to wait for your family.   And yet here you are . . . a traitor.”

 

Rey is on her knees now struggling to her feet when he lunges forward.  She reflexively recoils and falls back.  She’s on the ground again, this time on her back propped up on her elbows.  “What did they tell you to make you take up arms against me?  What did they promise you?” 

 

She hesitates and his mask roars in her face, “Answer me!”

 

Rey is trembling as she responds.  “I just run supply missions.  I’m not really part of the Resistance--I don’t fight--”

 

“It doesn’t matter!  There’s very little difference there and you know it!  Still aiding and abetting wrongdoers, just like on Jakku.  It used to be smugglers and criminals and now it’s the Resistance.   You’ve always been a shady bitch, haven’t you?”  Just like Han Solo, he thinks.  Dabbling in crime and the Rebellion.  Always choosing the fringes of society and consorting with thugs.

 

He resumes pacing around her.  “I offered you better than this.  But you wanted to wait on Jakku because you were a loyal daughter.  More loyal to the family who abandoned you than you were to me who wanted to help you!”  His shoulders are heaving now as his fists clench and his rage feeds on itself.  He is perilously close to losing all control.  His right hand is itching to pull his sword and end her right here, right now.  “You chose between them and me, and you chose them.  I understood and I let you go.  But now, I find you here among my enemies.”

 

The more Kylo thinks through this, the angrier he gets.  How could she do this to him?  Why?  “How did they entice you off Jakku when I couldn’t?  What did they promise you, Rey?  What can they give you that I can’t?” 

 

Again, she hesitates and he roars, “Answer me!”

 

“My family,” she says miserably.  “Luke Skywalker knew about my family.”

 

“Skywalker—“ Kylo hisses.  His heart sinks.  Things just got a whole lot worse at the mention of that dreaded name.  Rey is lost to him forever now.   “Skywalker found you?  He’s with the Resistance now?”

 

“Yes,” Rey nods.  “He knew that my grandmother was a Jedi, Kylo.”

 

Her grandmother was a Jedi?  That’s bullshit.  Human Jedi didn’t have children.  The old Jedi Order forbade it.  “Luke Skywalker is a liar, Rey!  He was lied to himself and in turn he lied to me.  He has lied to you too.”

 

“Master Luke and the general offered me a family here,” she sputters out miserably.  “And I was afraid to go home.  Afraid that you would arrest--”

 

“Master?” Kylo interrupts.  “You call him Master and you claim my family!”  Kylo is beginning to understand now.  Here at his feet is the willing pupil his uncle needs and the daughter his mother always wanted but never got.  Instead, his uncle got the lackluster padawan who turned Sith and his mother reared the troublesome, politically embarrassing son Kylo Ren.  He looks down upon Rey and he can’t decide now if she is a victim or not.  No one knows better than he how crafty is Luke Skywalker and how manipulative is Leia Organa.  Poor orphan Rey probably never stood a chance.  

 

“Kylo—it’s not what you think—“ she sputters.

 

There’s only one way to know for certain.  “Show me,” Kylo commands.  Then he raises his right hand and with it his power.  Before Rey can blink, he’s deep into her mind.  He's done this many times before to prisoners in interrogation but this is the first time anyone has fought back.  Instinctively, his fierce scavenger girl is fighting back.  Working hard to push him out of her mind.

 

It’s not a good strategy.  "The more you resist, the more it hurts, Rey," he warns.  "Relax and let me see the past."

 

"Get out of my head," she manages through gritted teeth.  “Just let me explain . . . “  Rey resists him harder now.

 

And that just makes Kylo more determined to learn what she is hiding.  "Submit, Rey, or you will suffer."   Kylo’s technique started rough but he progresses to cruel now.  And Rey falters, squeezing her eyes shut and screaming with the pain.  Blood starts to seep from her nostrils, a clear sign of her mental agony. 

 

Oh, Rey, he thinks behind the privacy of his mask.  How has it come to this?  But if she's fallen in with his Jedi uncle, then this treatment is his duty now.  His Master would expect no less.  For Rey of Jakku should have died long ago when Kylo had first encountered her in that star destroyer wreck.  His forbearance is what has led to this moment, he realizes.  He has brought this on himself.

 

Doing his best to ignore her screams, Kylo rifles through months of her memories.  From 'I'm Luke Skywalker and I'm here to rescue you' to the story of a young pupil who turned to evil.   From pictures of a long dead Jedi woman to a pitch to learn the ways of the Force.  There is a frantic escape and then a stern warning to never trust a Sith.  The Sith are manipulative liars she hears.  And now Rey fears their time together was all a lie.  Has she been a fool?  The tracker is gone, the comlink is lost, and Rey has no way of contacting him short of being arrested. 

 

He sees Rey struggling to find her place in the Resistance even though she doesn't want to be there.  She keeps refusing to commit to their cause and to be the Jedi padawan they want.  She’d rather go home but she's scared to be arrested.  And all the while, his treacherous family sows doubts that she increasingly believes.  Rey is beginning to suspect she's a pawn for the Resistance and she worries she was always a pawn for him too.  His desert scavenger finds it hard to trust and now she doesn't know who to trust.  She starts flying supply missions after they insist.  And mostly, it’s her way to escape from everyone.  And then, the die is cast.  She's the enemy now. 

 

Rey succumbs.  She is crumpled and dazed in a heap at his feet.  Kylo drops his hand and retreats from her mind.  "You should have listened," he rasps down at her.  “I had no wish to hurt you.” 

 

Rey raises her head to squint up at him with painfilled eyes.  Yes, he has hurt her.  And he’s not proud of it.  “The Resistance will only use you for their own objectives,” he says bitterly as he sinks to crouch at her side.  “Their fearmongering was just a way to control you.”  Kylo reaches his hand to her bloody face but she shies away.  Too late, he realizes that the gesture must remind him of the interrogation.  Kylo snatches it back. 

 

“Everyone has an agenda,” Rey croaks out as she pulls herself up to a sitting position.  Rey has her hands to her temples as she presses at her aching forehead.  “What was yours in all this?” she gasps out.

 

“I only ever wanted to help you, Rey.  But I can’t do that any longer.”   He probably never should have done it in the first place, he knows.

 

Rey looks to him confused, and he can tell that she is not understanding what he means.  “But I turned them down,” she argues softly.  “I refused to train as a Jedi and I don’t fight for their cause.”

 

That might have absolved a different girl in a different war.  But Rey and her Light are an existential threat as far as he and his Master are concerned.  Just like his padawan classmates long ago.  For when it comes to a war between Skywalkers, there is no neutral ground for a Force-user like herself.  As far as the Sith are concerned, if you’re not with them, then you are the enemy.  And even if you are their ally, you might get betrayed in the end.

 

“They promised to take me back to Jakku and they lied and I got stuck at the Resistance . . . I only ran supplies, Kylo.  I never fought for them.“

 

Kylo rises to his feet now.  From behind his mask, he looks her over with regret.  “You might just as well have, Rey.  Because you signed your own death warrant the moment you joined up here.  Even if I wanted to, I can’t protect you any longer.”  Not now that she has begun rudimentary training with Luke Skywalker.  Not now that she is at least ostensibly a trusted member of the Resistance.  Kylo turns to beckon over a pair of troopers.  “Cuff her and put her onboard.  Tell the pilot to set course for Snoke.  We’re leaving as soon as I deal with these prisoners.”

 

He watches Rey’s wide eyes and shallow breaths as the troopers restrain her, haul her to her feet, and drag her off into the shuttle.  She glances over her shoulder at him once.  He does his best to ignores it and turns back to the remaining prisoners.  He looks them over with disinterest before deciding that here is the opportunity to vent his anger and disappointment. 

 

“Pull the officers for interrogation.  Execute the rest,” he decrees.  Then he too boards the shuttle bound for Snoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains physical abuse. Nothing major and permanent, but unpleasant all the same.


	16. Chapter 16

When he crests the ramp into his shuttle, Kylo finds Rey hunched over in shackles unsuccessfully trying not to cry.  She looks very small sitting next to the muscled bulk of Nestor Ren.   Kylo stares a moment.  Then, the frustration and futility of the situation overwhelms him.   Kylo snatches off his helmet and starts venting in a torrent of outrage and sarcasm.

 

“’I'm Luke Skywalker and I'm here to rescue you?’” he sneers at her.  “You actually fell for that line??   You knew I went to kill him and he shows up on Jakku and you run off with him??   How could you be so gullible?  Why, Rey, why??”

 

Rey finally looks over at him and it’s a glare that would freeze water on hot Jakku.  “You know why.”

 

“That was a very stupid thing to do!” 

 

“Was it?” Rey shoots back.  “Because I got the answers I wanted.  Including that you are the reason I was on Jakku.  Did you get that part when you ripped my head apart??”  Rey launches to her feet now and the chains at her wrists rattle.  “You are the reason I suffered for years on Jakku!  You, Kylo, you!”

 

“Easy, baby, don’t make it worse,” Nestor Ren cautions as he lifts a hand to Rey’s arm and firmly pulls her back down beside him.  “You don’t want him any angrier . . . “

 

Kylo isn’t done yet.  “I offered to take you away from there and you refused.  You chose Jakku over me!  And then you chose the Resistance!” 

 

“I got stuck there!” Rey retorts.  “Just like I got stuck on Jakku thanks to you!”

 

Kylo runs a hand through his hair and starts pacing as he shouts.  “You didn't have to stay on Jakku and you didn’t have to stay with the Resistance.  You could have left.  You have no idea the position this puts me in!”  Kylo stops his pacing and hollers, “FUCK!  I can’t believe you did this, Rey!”

 

Nestor has heard enough.  He stands up to nod to the other two knights sitting with him. "Come on, guys, let's go clean our guns."

 

"I cleaned mine this morning," grumbles Dax.  That comment earns him a look. "Okay, okay," the knight agrees and Kylo’s men prepare to beat a hasty, tactful retreat.

 

"Don't bother, Nestor," Kylo dismisses this ruse for privacy.  "Rey and I will go in the back."  Then he walks over and reaches down for her.  Nestor gives him warning glance and Rey shoots him a dirty look and neither reaction is surprising. 

 

"Come on.  You have some explaining to do."   Dragging her by her cuffs, Kylo propels Rey to the back of his shuttle.  He dismisses the squad of troopers hanging out there playing sabacc with a curt "Out."   Then he crosses his arms and waits for an explanation. 

 

Rey looks away.  "I wanted to tell you where I was, but I couldn't.  All communications in and out of the base are monitored.  Secrecy is a big deal in the Resistance." 

 

Yeah, whatever.  So what if she tried and got caught and they kicked her out?  What’s the big deal about getting thrown out of the Resistance?   Kylo shakes his head at her with disdain.  "I thought you were dead.  I was sure you were dead in a wreck somewhere.   You had gotten hurt and starved to death or bled to death.  Or you had gotten caught out in a bad storm and suffocated.”  He stares at her with bitter, angry honesty.   “Do you know what bothered me the most?   That I feared you had died alone.  I didn't want my girl who had spent her whole life alone to be alone at the end.”

 

Her face crumples and she looks down, biting her lip.  Is she ashamed?  She ought to be ashamed for how she has acted. 

 

“I was so happy to sense you alive in the Force when we landed.  But now, you might as well be dead.  Once you signed up for the Resistance, you were as good as dead, Rey.  Snoke will never let an enemy strong in the Force who Luke Skywalker wants to train survive.”

 

“I know,” she says softly.

 

"When I felt you in the Force today, I thought you were a prisoner.  Nestor and I went first to the brig to rescue you.  I thought that somehow the Resistance had learned about us and you were taken to punish me.  That my enemies had hurt you on my behalf.  But then I find that you are my enemy."  Kylo shakes his head at her in disbelief.  He had not seen this coming.  At all.  “Why do you want to be my enemy, Rey?"  His anger is spent now and it’s becoming sorrow.  He feels so betrayed.  So let down.  "Do I mean nothing to you?"

 

"This was my chance for a family,” she stammers as if that explains everything.  And it’s the same obsession she’s had all along—to find her long lost family.   There will never be any living person more important to Rey than her dead family, he thinks.  Kylo can’t begin to relate.  He’s the former Ben Solo who has spent his entire adult life trying to kill his family and to make right their misdeeds.  If anything, the results of Rey’s obsession have made things worse.   Discovering her dubious Jedi heritage isn’t going to help her case with Snoke.   And now it’s uncovered his own unwitting role in her past.

 

Rey keeps rationalizing her decision.  “Look, I'm not crazy about either side of this war, Kylo.  You know that.  I'm not about to volunteer to die for some abstract cause.  I was only here because leaving meant I’d get arrested."  She eyes him resentfully.  “Thanks for the arrest warrant, by the way.”

 

He levels her an indignant look.  "I was trying to find you.  Arresting you seemed like as a good way as any to do it."

 

“Yeah, except I was at the Resistance.  Do you know what happens to Resistance girls who get taken into custody by the First Order?”  She gives him a hard look.  “Yeah . . . I thought not.  By the time the great Kylo Ren would have caught up with me, a few of your troopers would have been there first.”  Rey looks as frustrated as he is now.  She sighs heavily.  “I should have known you would drag me into your war . . . “

 

“I didn’t drag you into any of this,” he retorts.  “You were the one who ran off with Luke Skywalker, remember?”

 

"I told your uncle that I didn't want to kill you,” she says softly.  “He wants me to become a Jedi and kill you.”

 

"Does he know about us?"

 

"No.  Your uncle and your mother kept warning me about you.  They said you kill any Force sensitives that you find.  But I guess Snoke will get to do the honors now.”  Rey looks up at him now with morbid curiosity.  “Why didn't you kill me when we first met?"

 

Why indeed, he thinks.  It would have saved them both a lot of pain.  "I liked you, Rey.  From the beginning.  I have only ever wanted to help you."  He can't tell if she believes him or not.   Mostly, she looks miserable. 

 

He feels the same way.  "I mourned you.  I missed you."  He raises a gloved hand to stroke at her cheek.  Poor Rey looks a mess.  Her pretty makeup has run from her tears, her right cheekbone is swollen and there is blood from her nose to her chin.  He rummages around the room to find something to clean her face.  Then gently he starts dabbing at it.  And that is a strange irony since he was the one who did this to her.

 

“Let me do it,” Rey complains as she grabs the cloth and starts swiping hard at her face.  When she’s done, it’s not perfect but it’s better. 

 

“Oh, Rey.”  He looks down at her with deep regret.  “I don’t know how this ends, but I know it’s not good.”   He’s discovered that she’s alive and now he’s about to lose her again.  “My Master will not condone this.”

 

She nods like she knows.  “Leaving Jakku with your uncle was worth it,” Rey decides as again she wipes at her eyes.  “At least I will die knowing who I am.  I know you don’t understand that, but it matters to me.”

 

She’s right.  He doesn’t understand.  And he’s angry about it.  “Knowing your past isn’t worth dying for.  That’s a stupid reason to throw your life away.”  And to throw his happiness away too, Kylo thinks.

 

“No, it’s not,” Rey snaps back.  “And don’t pretend that it’s stupid, because all your family does is fight and die for the nostalgia of the past.  You for your grandfather’s Empire.  Your parents and your uncle for the Old Republic.  None of you even lived during the times you are trying to recreate.  But every day more people die for your dreams of recreating the glorious past.”

 

She’s right, he realizes.  His scavenger girl has no education but she’s plenty smart.  And her blunt insight can be disarming.  Gods, he thinks as he looks down at her bleak face, he wishes he didn’t have to bring her to Snoke.  If only they had more time before the inevitable.   

 

She’s staring at him and he’s staring at her and now he can’t resist.  Impulsively, he leans in for a kiss.  Rey turns away and her cuffs rattle noisily.  "Don't, Kylo.  Just don't."

 

But he is not deterred.  He's a selfish Sith so in the end it's always about him and what he wants.  That was his mistake all along with Rey--not insisting on what he wanted.  Instead, he had tried to please her.

 

"Kiss me."  There won’t be time for goodbye when they get to Snoke.  And Kylo is going to have to pretend that he has no feelings involved when the time comes.  And that couldn’t be further from the truth.  Even now, it feels like his heart is breaking.  Because Rey is alive but she has betrayed him and now he’s the one to deliver her to certain death.  He’s a Sith and he places power above everything, and Rey is a potential threat to his power.   He recalls now the wisdom of his Sith Master teaching that everyone has something they must sacrifice for their ambitions.  With a heavy heart, Kylo knows his sacrifice will be Rey.

 

“Kiss me,” he urges as he takes her in his arms.  Luckily, she’s still shackled and can’t really resist.  “Snoke can never know about us.  Don’t waste the time we have, Rey.”  And then he dives for her mouth with a desperation that he would never be able to voice in words.  For a few glorious moments, Rey responds wholeheartedly with the fervent passion he has dreamed about.   But then she raises her cuffed hands to his chest and pushes him away. 

 

"Stop!  You’re making it worse.  And you’re confusing me further.”  She won’t even look at him as she mumbles, “You and I were a mistake."

 

“No.”  He’s certain she is wrong.   “You and I were the will of the Force and the Force doesn’t make mistakes.”  Rey is the one who made the mistake, he thinks bitterly.  Not the Force.  If she’s just stayed put on Jakku, everything would be fine.

 

She glares at him and then turns completely away to walk a few steps.  “You Skywalkers are fools for the Force,” she sneers.  And it’s true.

 

But Kylo ignores this and steps up close behind to put his hands on her shoulders.  He wants to shake some sense into her.  But she smells so good.  Nostalgically good.  Like his mother's perfume or face cleanser or something feminine like that.  Her lure for him is still so strong.  She left him and yet he wants her still.  He's run the gamut of emotions today from fear to anger to sadness to desperation.  And now, he needs comfort.

 

"Kylo, don't--"   Rey tries to shrug him off as his lips find her cheek.  The left one, not the hurt one.  "Don't," she squirms away.

 

But his hands wander lower and forward to feel at her breasts.   He's loving the slight curves she has now.  It’s not much, admittedly, but it's an improvement.  He unzips the front of her flight suit so he can feel her through less fabric. 

 

"You look so good," he tells her as his lips suckle at her neck.  “When I first saw you, you looked so good.”  He leans hard into her and now she's got her forearms braced against the wall.  Her hands are still chained together. 

 

It would be kind of hot, actually, if this were play acting and those handcuffs were not real. 

 

He leans in harder and now she is pinned face first to the wall with her arms lifted above her head.  His gloved hands find her wrists and he starts grinding into her from behind. 

 

"Give me your Light, Rey," he whispers.  He wants this one last taste of the forbidden fruit.  This one last intimacy to forever commit to memory.   There will never be another Rey, he knows.  She is it for him. 

 

"Kylo, stop this!" she orders and her tone has a hard edge now.

 

"I'll give it to you from behind like you like it.   I'll make you scream my name."

 

"Let me go, Kylo!"

 

"As you wish."' He waves his hand and concentrates a moment and her handcuffs fall away.  She whirls and tries to push him back, but instead she's in his arms as his lips claim hers.  Oh, Gods, he needs this.  Right here, right now.  He doesn't care who is listening.  They have so little time that he won’t waste it.

 

He’s yanking her flightsuit down off her shoulders to her waist.  She’s got some other uniform jumpsuit on underneath that he wrenches open and pulls down as well.  Underneath she’s wearing a neon pink bra.  It’s the most ridiculously girly thing he could imagine and his no nonsense scavenger girl has it on.  He thinks he likes this new cleaned-up, girly version of Rey.  With flat ironed hair and lip gloss and a pink bra. 

 

Kylo is fumbling with the straps of her bra as he speaks the reckless words into her skin.  "Give me your Light and I will take you home with me.”   He hasn’t thought through this at all.  It’s such an impulsive proposal that it’s almost involuntary.  “Show me the Light and I will show you mercy.  I won’t take you to Snoke."  He'll think of some way to handle Snoke.  Because killing Rey and losing her Light seems like such a waste.  If she will only agree to go back to the way things were before, if she will only agree to be his Light, then he will spare her.   He will forgive her little foray into the Resistance as the misguided hope of an impressionable girl. 

 

But Rey has other ideas.  Her hands push him back roughly. "You're crazy if you think I'm going to sleep with you!  My face still hurts from where you hit me."

 

She’s still mad?  What’s the point in being mad at a time like this?  "I had to make it look good," Kylo improvises as he renews his efforts at seduction.  He's so hard now.  So ready to bury himself in her warmth and softness.  So ready for his Rey.  “Say you will be mine and I will defy my Master for you.  I will find a way to spare you,” he urges as he reaches a hand down inside the front of her jumpsuit.  Is she as ready as he is?  He wants to know.

 

Apparently, not.  "Get off me!"  Outraged Rey pushes him back a second time and stomps on his toe for good measure. "Sleep with me and I’ll let you live?  How very Sith of you.  Well, fuck you, Kylo!" she growls.

 

"Yes, exactly."  Why is she playing hard to get?  He's not giving up.  She should know that about him by now.  "Come home with me.  It will be like before.  Three days straight of you and me."  When they’re not fucking, together they will think of something to tell Snoke.  There has to be an angle for how to win over Snoke.

 

Rey doesn't answer. She waits until he's on her again kissing her breathless.   And once he thinks she's finally thawing, Rey brings her knee up hard. 

 

And that brings him to his knees.  Groaning in pain.   

 

"You bitch!   You fucking Resistance bitch!"  He hollers when he is finally able to form words.  He's fast after Rey's fleeing form, catching her in the main cabin.  Reflexively, he raises a fist and Rey winces and cowers.  Nestor Ren is on his feet now and he catches his eye and shakes his head.  The message gets through and Kylo drops his arm and releases Rey.

 

She skitters away fast.  Shoving her arms into her jumpsuit and zipping it up to her chin.   The orange flightsuit over it is so baggy that it’s falling off now that it is undone. 

 

Kylo’s voice is cold as he issues her a vaguely treasonous ultimatum.   Getting Rey back in bed has become a point of pride for him now.  "You don't get to leave me, Rey.  And you sure as Hell don't get to leave me for the fucking Resistance.  So here's your choice:  you come back to me and you live, or I surrender you to Snoke and you die.  Now, decide!"

 

Rey puts her hands on her hips and scowls at him.  She’s angry, he sees.  Very angry.  “What the Hell kind of choice is that?” she snaps.

 

Nestor Ren abruptly inserts himself into this tense exchange.  "Or, we can suddenly develop a mechanical problem,” Nestor says this with air quotes, “Then we fly back the _Finalizer_ and you two can stop and think through this.  After you cool down, boss, and when she’s not half naked."

 

"Stay out of this, Nestor."  Nestor is ruining all of his leverage by talking sense.  The point of an ultimatum is that there are only two choices.  And he controls the choices. 

 

But Nestor is not giving up.  "You're gonna regret this when Grandpa makes you be the one to kill her.  And where will you find another girl with the Force?"

 

"Yeah.  It's just me and your mother left, Kylo," Rey says with a sneer as she plants her hands on her hips.   “And Leia Organa is even less inclined to sleep with you than I am.”

 

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” Kylo snaps back, thinking of Han Solo.  “My princess mother has very low standards when it comes to men.”

 

"Grandpa is gonna make you be the one to kill her," Nestor complains again.  “Kylo, he will know that you failed to do it before and why—“

 

“Han Solo is dead—did you know that?” Rey blurts out.  And, no, he hadn’t.  “Your father led the strike team that took down the Starkiller oscillator.  He died a hero blowing up his third Death Star.”

 

“Second.  His second Death Star,” Kylo corrects Rey.  “His role in the first was vastly overrated.”

 

“That’s not how Luke Skywalker tells it.  And your uncle was there.”

 

"Is everyone is this war related?"  The new guy Dax is confused. 

 

"Yes."  He and Rey answer in unison. 

 

Then, Kylo turns back to Rey.  “Han Solo meant nothing to me.”

 

She nods grimly at this boast.  “No one means anything to you!  I hate this side of you, Kylo--"

 

"Yeah, well, I'm not happy you turned terrorist on me, Rey."  He glowers at her and then prompts, “Well, what will it be?  Live with me or die with Snoke?  Stop stalling, Rey, and decide.”  He’s confident that despite her bluster his girl will default to self-preservation.  If nothing else, Rey of Jakku is a survivor.   Yeah, she’s mad but she’ll come around.  She’s no fool.

 

But apparently, life with Kylo Ren is a fate worse than death.  Because Rey scowls at him and answers:  “Snoke.” 

 

Snoke??  Snoke????  Fuck!  This is not how he planned for this to turn out.  And now his Knights have watched this and there’s no backing down.  Because you can’t issue an ultimatum and then fail to follow through.  He’ll lose all credibility with his own men.  Fuck!  Kylo knows that he has just trapped himself. 

 

His face must show his dismay because Nestor leaps to his feet with a face-saving attempt.  “You’re rushing her.  She needs more time to think about it, Kylo—“

 

But Rey doubles down just to spite him.  “Snoke,” she decides.  “I’m through with you Skywalkers!  And I’m through with you!  I won’t be your battered prisoner girlfriend, Kylo.”

 

Kylo nods slowly.  Damn, her rejection stings.  “So be it.”  Then he turns on heel and stalks away to the back of his shuttle. 


	17. Chapter 17

Kylo's shuttle descends to a nondescript looking landing platform at an undisclosed world.  Their destination looks like it could be a small wharehouse complex for a private business in the middle of nowhere in the Unknown Regions.  But it's not.  This is the hidden bunker of the reclusive Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order. 

 

As the shuttle lands, suddenly its occupants busy themselves holstering weapons, straightening collars and replacing helmets.  There is a frisson of anticipation and dread in the air, and it's not just for her as the soon-to-be condemned.  No one, it seems, is looking forward to this visit.   Everyone is on their nervous best behavior.

 

Kylo reappears from the back of the shuttle and refuses to even look at her.  And that's not surprising.  He is livid with her decision. 

 

But really, to call his strong-arm tactics a choice is a lie.  Kylo marches back into her life, smacks her around, invades her mind, and announces she's going to die.   But then he rescinds that decision so long as she sleeps with him.   No deal, Kylo Ren.  She'll take her chances with Snoke.  At least she won’t have to sleep with Snoke.  One way or another, Rey is certain that she’s going to die thanks to the Skywalkers.  Prostituting herself to Kylo will only delay the inevitable, she figures.  At least this way she will die with her integrity and dignity intact.

 

Rey inhales a deep and ragged breath, summoning her courage.  She's long outlived her odds anyway, Rey tells herself with a fatalism she learned on Jakku.  

 

The blonde brutish looking knight who talks back to Kylo steps forward to look out the window.  "Grandpa's on the landing pad," he announces.  And that must be unusual because Kylo startles at this news and pushes past him to see for himself. 

 

"He senses her already," Kylo says grimly.  Rey watches as Kylo exchanges wary glances with the blonde knight. 

 

When the shuttle ramp lowers, the squad of troopers march out first to stand at rigid attention. Then the other four Knights of Ren onboard process out to kneel their obeisance before the Supreme Leader.    Still ignoring her, Kylo runs a nervous hand through his hair, sighs and jams on his helmet.  Then he grabs her arm roughly and drags her forward to his Master. 

 

The feared Sith is simply enormous, Rey thinks.  He towers over Kylo's own considerable height.  Snoke is dressed in sepulchral black robes with a hood pulled forward to shroud his features.  What she can see of his face is pale white-grey skin that reminds her of the mummified remains found in Jakku wrecks.  One side of his jaw is misshapen and his cheek is very damaged.   There's a story there, Rey thinks. 

 

Kylo takes a knee before his Master and pulls her down with him to the pavement. 

 

“This is Rey, a desert scavenger from Jakku,” Kylo announces without enthusiasm.  “Lately recruited to the Resistance by Skywalker.  You will find her to be uneducated, unsophisticated and untrained.  She is a faithless, worthless bitch.” 

 

Rey struggles to her feet, shrugging off the firm hand Kylo has clamped on her shoulder.  She whirls on him, ignoring Snoke altogether.

 

"You don't have the courage to kill me yourself, do you, Kylo?"

 

Kylo keeps his eyes forward, not even deigning to look at her.  "My Master will decide your fate," he says coldly.

 

"Right,” she nods knowingly.  “So you don't have to.  Instead, you turn me over to Mr. Starkiller here."  Rey jabs a thumb in the direction of Darth Plagueis the Wise.

 

“On your knees, girl,” Kylo orders and he takes a swipe at her nearest leg to pull her down.  But Rey leaps away, having anticipated this.  She stands her ground and looks up at the seven-foot-tall Sith lord known to the galaxy of the First Order’s Supreme Leader Snoke. 

 

The reclusive, hideous Muun observes her silently with interest.

 

And that causes Rey to stand as tall as possible.  Shoulders back and chin high, her expression blankly foreboding.  It’s the sentry stance she learned on Jakku to intimidate strangers and rival scavengers.  Right now, Rey dearly wishes she had her fighting staff from Jakku.  The staff sort of makes the stance, she thinks.  But whatever.  Staff or no staff, she’s still Rey of Jakku.  And now, she knows she’s more than that.  Rey has suffered to learn this history and if she’s going to die for it, she’s at least going to state it.

 

“My name is Renata Pam.  I am the daughter of Solis and Renatus Pam of Coruscant.  I am the granddaughter of Sheeva Cole, a Jedi Knight of the Old Republic.” 

 

“Indeed.”  The Master Sith nods his head to acknowledge her.  Then he responds in a deep, slow voice.  "I am Darth Plagueis the Wise, Dark Lord of the Sith.  Apprentice to Tenebrous.  Master to Sidious and to Ren."  And then he says something that floors Rey.  "I am father to Vader, grandfather to Skywalker, and great-grandfather to Ren."

 

“Oh,” Rey breathes aloud in surprise. Then her eyes narrow.  "You're a Skywalker too?” she scowls, unimpressed.  And now she whirls to loom over Kylo.  "You didn't tell me that," she complains.  "And neither did your uncle or your mother.   Is everyone fighting in this war a Skywalker?"   Now, Rey is thoroughly confused.  Because as messed up as he is, Snoke doesn't look human and all the Skywalkers she’s met are human.  Didn’t Master Luke say he was a Muun?  He kind of looks like a Muun.  Rey slants a sideways glance up at the Supreme Leader.  "Are there any other family relationships I need to know about?"

 

"Yes," Snoke announces with a wicked smile and Kylo's mask jerks upwards.  But the Sith Master does not elaborate.  "Arise, Apprentice," he beckons down to Kylo. 

 

At her side, Kylo climbs slowly to feet.  The Sith Master looks from Kylo to her and back again.  Then he smiles wickedly again.  "Kill her," he instructs with a casual wave of his hand.  "Kill her now."

 

Rey gulps.

 

Kylo hesitates. 

 

They stand there and stare at one another for what is only a few seconds but feels like an eternity.  Rey is glad he's wearing the mask and she cannot see Kylo's face.  It's better this way, she tells herself. 

 

She might have died in the desert.  She might have died in the war.  But now she is going to die a victim of the Sith.  Her whole life has been shaped by the legacy of other people's tragedies before her.  From the Jedi purge to her family's accident to Kylo's teenage murder spree. None of which were her fault but all of which became her problem.  Truly, it is her lot in life to suffer. Where is Kylo's beloved Force when she needs it?  Where is the biblical lightning bolt to strike down this creepy tall Sith and save her?   Where is Luke Skywalker come to rescue her now?  

 

Kylo still hasn't made a move for his sword. 

 

Sometimes in life, a girl has to save herself, Rey decides.  Or at least try. And so she reaches for Kylo's sword.  Rey doesn't know if she snatches it or if it leaps into her hand, but suddenly she's got it.  And it's heavy.  Very heavy.  As heavy as his helmet. 

 

Kylo swipes for it but she eludes him.  Frantically, Rey starts pushing buttons.  The red blade leaps to life and Rey leaps back in fear and nearly drops the hilt.  The sword is much longer than she anticipated.  Maybe because he's so tall.

 

"What are you doing, Rey?  This won't help," Kylo groans. 

 

"Did you think I would go down without a fight?"  Rey attempts to brandish the sword but its tip drags along the concrete to cut a long gash.  Rey pauses to look down wide eyed at the evidence of the blade's power.  "Wow . . . "

 

Even with the mask, Kylo’s body language conveys his irritated frustration.  "It is useless to resist, Rey.  This won't change anything."

 

“I know.  But it will help me feel better about it.”  Rey is a fighter and she’ll feel better going out fighting.  Desperation is fueling her concentration now as Rey tries out a few wild swings.  The sword hilt is very heavy but the blade itself feels weightless.  This wildly unbalanced weapon feels very different from her fighting staff on Jakku.  And it’s much more dangerous.

 

"You'll cut your arm off with that, Rey," Kylo warns.

 

"And save you the trouble," she snaps as she lunges forward.  He leaps back and she keeps charging forward.  Rey discovers that Kylo is very quick on his feet for such a tall guy.   She swings and stabs and he weaves and dodges.   He’s not attacking, just evading. 

 

The stormtroopers remain at attention, Kylo’s knights all remain kneeling, and the old monster Sith looks on in silence.  But no one interrupts.  It's a lot like a fight on Jakku, Rey thinks.  Everyone watches with interest but no one gets involved.

 

"I have had enough of you Skywalkers!” Rey spits out as she swings anew and Kylo retreats once more.  “Your uncle spent too long in exile.  He's freakishly weird talking to long dead guys in the Force.  Your mother is pretty intense.  She's way too into politics for me.  And you?”  Rey hesitates, struggling for the best put down for the handsome, oddly charismatic man under the mask.  “Well, you’ll never be Vader,” she improvises.  “You’ll never be as strong as Darth Vader!”  There, that ought to wound him, she thinks.  Er . . . hopes.

 

Rey lowers her weapon a moment to complain, “Why can't you all get along?   At least for the sake of all the rest of us little people?  You had a family and you blew it, Kylo.  You had everything and you blew it over the Force."

 

She can hear the smirk in his reply.  "The Force is the only thing worth blowing it all for, Rey.   Certainly not you."

 

And, ouch, that kind of hurts.  Rey’s eyes narrow as she stalks forward with the sword.  "That's not what you said a few minutes ago."

 

Kylo has the gall to chuckle a little.  And it sounds bizarre coming from his mask.  "You were a fool if you believed me.  Never trust a Sith, Rey.  Didn't Uncle Luke teach you that?"

 

Rey's face hardens. And she charges at him, chasing him scrambling backwards fast up the shuttle ramp.  He’s all the way up and inside when Rey deactivates the sword.  She flings the heavy hilt end over end into the dark interior of the shuttle.  Maybe it’s her good aim or perhaps there’s a little help from the magical Force, but the sword connects with something metal with a loud clang.

 

"Owww!   Rey--" Kylo bellows.

 

"You wanted it back, right?" she jeers.  “That’s for trying to fuck me in your shuttle on the way here, Kylo.”   Rey whirls and marches back down the ramp towards Snoke.   She walks right up to the towering man in black and crosses her arms over her chest.   She eyes Snoke with resignation. 

 

"Well, let's get this over with.  Do your Dark magic, Sith."

 

Behind her, Kylo emerges from the shuttle looking pissed.  He's got his sword back at his waist and his helmet off and tucked under his arm.  The helmet has a large dent on one side now, Rey notes with pride.

 

The Sith Master peers down at her with strange golden eyes.  Finally, he speaks and it’s not to Rey.  “I figured one day you would bring home a girl, Apprentice.  But I never expected it would be this one.”  The Supreme Leader looks sort of amused.  “The Force works in mysterious ways.” 

 

"She's not my girl," Kylo grouses.

 

And Rey simultaneously objects too.  "I'm not his girl."

 

The Sith Master ignores these statements.  “I'm disappointed that you don't have red hair,” Snoke tells Rey.  “I always imagined you with red hair.”

 

“My mother had red hair . . . “  Rey whispers her thoughts aloud.

 

“So did your grandmother.  And both her parents too.   Red hair runs in your family, my dear.  As does the Force.”  Snoke keeps studying her.  “I have long suspected that you existed, but I never knew for certain.  I was waiting for the Force to reveal you.  The Force always reveals its chosen ones."  The Sith Master reaches out a hand and Kylo’s sword leaps from his waist into it.  The Supreme Leader begins to play with the deadly weapon, turning it over and over in his hands like a child coveting a toy.  Neither Rey nor Kylo can look away.

 

"The Force did not reveal you to me but instead to my Apprentice.  Dark met Light on Jakku, was it?”  Snoke looks wryly amused again.  “History repeats itself.  How extraordinary," he remarks dryly.  The tall Sith looks down at Rey with devilish satisfaction. “And to think that you were the Jedi’s new hope.  Oh, the irony.”  His hands stop toying with the sword now.   The crossguard saber ignites with a one-two snap and a brilliant flash of red.  Rey flinches at the sound.  Then she stumbles back a half step as the red blade lifts to her eye level. 

 

“My dear, that you have lived this long is nothing short of extraordinary.  One might even say it is treasonous.”  Snoke’s golden eyes dart over to Kylo standing beside her. "I would say that the Force is with you, but it seems more accurate to state that my Apprentice is with you.  He seems to know you well,” Snoke purrs out his words.  “Well enough to be reluctant to kill you . . . "

 

There is a long uncomfortable moment of silence between them all.

 

Finally, Rey breaks it.  "Lightning," she announces. "Not the sword.  Use the blue lightning.”  Every day was a struggle against death on Jakku, so Rey refuses to be intimidated now at the end.   She starts making demands.  “I want to go out like Vader did."  With some Sith style, she thinks.

 

At her side, Kylo frowns and turns to her.  "No.  The sword will be instant and hurt less.  Not to the chest like Maul—that’s painful.  Lose your head like Tyranus.  Trust me, it’s more dignified and merciful.  It’s how I killed Lor San Tekka."

 

Rey has no idea who Maul and Tyranus are.  The names mean nothing to her. "Lightning or nothing."  She is stubborn.

 

And that seems to annoy the already exasperated Kylo.  "Hasn't your life been hard enough, Rey?  Are just a glutton for punishment?  If you don't want a sword, then how about a blaster instead?  Grievous style. One quick, clean shot to the chest or the head."

 

"Who's Grievous?" she asks. 

 

"A wannabe," Snoke answers.

 

Whatever.  Rey's mind is made up.  "Lightning.  If I get a last request, I want lightning.  I like my head and I’d like to keep it, thank you."

 

“Rey—“

 

Snoke looks to be enjoying himself now.  "Perhaps I should throw her down a reactor shaft, Apprentice.  We can make it a family tradition."

 

"What family tradition?" Kylo wonders aloud.

 

"No reactor shaft," Rey decides.  She's fallen from plenty of heights climbing on wrecks.  That is not the way she wants to go.  "Lightning or nothing.  Unless, you're not Sith enough for lightning.  But something tells me you are."

 

And that makes old Snoke grin from ear to missing ear.  "My dear, I am Sith enough for any woman.  Even you.”  He cocks his head as he peers down at her again.  “You put me in mind of Sheev.  He was stubborn, shrewd and scrappy too.  He did not shy from risk."

 

"Sheev?  Sheev who?"  Kylo asks.  And then his eyes widen visibly.  “Sheev Palpatine?”  His tone is doubtful.

 

“Yes.  Her Jedi grandmother Sheeva Cole had a Sith father.   My murderous apprentice Sheev Palpatine.”

 

Huh?  “What?”  Rey nearly yelps.

 

“She’s a Palpatine?”  At her side Kylo looks dumbfounded.  Then he turns to Rey as he pieces together the relationship.  “You’re the Emperor's great granddaughter?”  When Rey doesn’t respond, Kylo looks askance to his Master.  “I thought Sidious was into guys.”

 

Snoke snorts.  “Hardly.  He had a longtime secret wife.  Sheev married that wretched woman.  Behind my back and over my objections.”   The Muun shoots Kylo a pointed look.  “Don't get any ideas, Apprentice.” 

 

“But Luke Skywalker said my family was Jedi . . . that my family hid me on Jakku from the Sith . . . “ Rey can’t decide if she has been lied to or not.  Or where she belongs.

 

Snoke nods at her confusion.  “My grandson either hid the truth from you or he did not know the truth.  The former, I suspect, given his history of alternative facts.  You, my dear, are the living descendant of the first Emperor Sith himself.  Of that, there can be no doubt.”

 

“Oh.”  Rey doesn’t know what to say to this.  She wants to be skeptical but somehow she can hear the truth of Snoke’s words.  “How do you know all this?” she asks.  And what does it really matter, she thinks to herself.  Because Snoke still has a sword to her throat.

 

“I’m a Sith, we hold a grudge.  I spent decades watching Sheev’s progeny from afar.  I had several ideas for revenge that I ultimately discarded.  Lucky for you, my dear.”  With his left hand, Snoke throws back his hood to reveal his gruesomely disfigured bald head.   He’s missing most of one ear, she notes.  “Sheev Palpatine is responsible for all that you see before you and more.  Plus, he murdered my Jedi wife and my Force-blind young son.”

 

“Oh.”  How horrible, Rey thinks. 

 

“Of course, he was provoked in many ways,” Snoke concedes evenly.  “Sheev was a most excellent Sith.  An exemplary Apprentice in almost every respect, including his lust for revenge.  There was only one lesson he failed to learn.” 

 

“What was that?” Kylo asks and he beats Rey to it.

 

His Master holds the gaze of his Apprentice for a long, meaningful moment.  “That I am and shall ever be the Master.”  Then Snoke lowers the sword reaches forward a long, spindy Muun hand to lift Rey’s chin.  She stares up at the monster Sith with fearful eyes.  “Can you learn that lesson, my dear?” Darth Plagueis drawls.  “Can you call me Master?  I will welcome you home as our Sith princess if you will call me Master.”

 

Rey’s eyes grow wide and she looks to Kylo.  He nods his encouragement.     

 

“This is where you belong,” Snoke intones above the buzzing of the sword he still holds lit as the implicit threat for her refusal.  “At long last, the Force has brought you home.  Welcome home, my dear.  We are your family now.”

 

“But you were going to kill me—“ Rey hesitates.  “You ordered Kylo to kill me—“

 

“I wanted my Apprentice to squirm.”  Snoke glances over at Kylo.  “Kylo Ren has been sweating bullets and raging in the Force since you arrived.  Very unhappy to be forced to surrender you to me.   A Sith places power above all else, my lady.  Never forget that.  Today was a lesson for my Apprentice.  And a test.”

 

“I was a test?” Rey is not following.

 

“Indeed.  With mixed results for my Apprentice.”  The old Sith looks unimpressed at Kylo now.  “I commend you for rendering her unto me.  Had you been Sith enough to actually pull a sword on her, you would have passed with flying colors.  I would have intervened and given you back your lady.  But alas, Apprentice, today you were weak.  And so I will keep her as my ward.  One day perhaps she will become your prize.  Once you merit her, of course.”   

 

Darth Plagueis turns his attention back to Rey now.  He smiles, clearly enjoying his magnanimity.  “Tell me that today is your homecoming and not your execution.  Let this be a happy day of new beginnings.  Join our family, Princess.”

 

Rey is struggling to understand his offer.  “You want me to join the Dark Side?  To become a Sith?”

 

“I merely wish you to learn the ways of the Force.  After all, we are the Skywalkers and we are the first family of the Force.  We are the Jedi and we are the Sith.  Both the Dark and the Light.  We rule it all.  And the galaxy too, naturally,” he adds as an afterthought.  Snoke reaches back to her face with that skeletal hand of his.  “Join me,” he coos.  “Come home to your Sith family and take your rightful place among us.  All we ask in return is your power and your loyalty.”

 

“Choose to live, Rey,” Kylo says softly.

 

She turns to him in confusion.  “But with the Sith?” 

 

“Never fear, we will treat you well, Princess,” Snoke assures her.  “We always take care of our own.”

 

“Never trust a Sith,” Rey whispers aloud the Jedi maxim she learned from Master Luke. 

 

A slow, sly smile creeps across the Supreme Leader’s ruined face now.  “Wise words, my dear.  Those are wise words indeed.  But what choice do you have?”

 

“Rey, do this for yourself.  Don’t throw your life away because you’re angry with me,” Kylo urges.  The look on his face reminds her of the day they had said goodbye on Jakku.  When Kylo had been begging her to stay with him.  It had been right before Luke Skywalker had arrived to ruin everything. 

 

Staring back into Kylo’s handsome and concerned face, Rey wonders if old Darth Plagueis is giving her a second chance to make the right choice.   To choose Kylo Ren like she had wanted all along back when she believed her family to still be alive.  Back before everything got so complicated.  Master Luke had warned Rey repeatedly of the deceit and violence of the Sith, but never of this temptation.  But maybe, Rey thinks, Luke Skywalker had never been tempted by a Sith.  She is.

 

Snoke softly intones his pitch once more.  “Be our princess.  Let us care for you, Renata.”

 

“Rey—“ Kylo is staring deep into her eyes.  “Rey, please say yes.”

 

 “Yes,” Rey decides.  It comes out as a hoarse whisper.  Almost involuntarily.

 

“Yes, what?” purrs Snoke.

 

“Yes, M-Master.”

 

End of Part Two

 

More to come when my muse next hits. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a quick snippet into the life of Sheeva Cole, Jedi Knight from the perspective of her mother (the original Snoke hater): 
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8365165/chapters/19358251


	18. Chapter 18

PART THREE:  PROGLOGUE

 

 

_An overrun Resistance outpost, somewhere in the Mid Rim_

 

 

The man smiles behind his mask when he first senses the presence in the Force.  It's a presence he hasn't felt in a long time.  It is at once thrilling and oddly nostalgic.  A whiff of his past that instantly floods his mind with memories, most of them bitter.  Long ago when he had left this foe, he had been but the learner.  Not any longer. 

 

‘You opened the holochron, didn’t you?’ is the opening taunt.  As intended, it gets under his skin.  This man has long been a student of history, but he disdains his own personal past.  Today, he plans to kill one of two living reminders of his past.  It’s the only way he will ever be free of this pain.  And it’s the only way to prove to his Master that he can resist the call to the Light.  Plus, the man is no fool.  He knows that holochron contained only empty promises.  You can never go home again.  Especially when you are Sith.

 

They both know what’s coming next.  For when it comes to his family, it always ends in violence.  Sometimes it's crossed swords on a catwalk or in a throne room.  Other times, it's a Force chokehold on a landing platform or a dogfight over a Death Star.  But it's always a fight.   The Skywalkers are fighters.  They fight for glory, they fight for ideals, but mostly they fight one another. 

 

The man lights his sword and grimly warns the younger man standing at his side.   "He is mine to kill.  Stay back.  You'll only end up dead."  Because the only thing more deadly than being a Skywalker is being the fool who tries to intervene in their conflicts.   His grandmother died for that folly and his scavenger lover would have too had she listened to this man’s lies.   Only wily old Kenobi had understood that when you get between two opposing Skywalkers, your life is forfeit.

 

Today there will be a winner and a loser, for there is no middle ground.  There can be no reconciliation for his clan, only capitulation.  If you're not with me, you're my enemy.  That's more than a Sith maxim, he thinks.  It's a Skywalker way of life.  Because there's only slightly more compromise in his Rebel mother than there was in her Imperial Sith father.  She wouldn't see it that way, of course.  Self-awareness isn't big in his family.  Stubbornness is.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is happening again. I know where I want this story to go and I hope I can take you there with me. This fic will drop chapters sporadically, as I intend to take my time with this one. So no daily updates this time. Less slapdash, hopefully better crafting.


	19. Chapter 19

Darth Plagueis is hideous to look at for the first week or so.  After that, Rey is so used to his deformity that she ceases to notice it altogether.  She looks past the crepey pale skin and gaping cheek to the man beneath.  Snoke was once a handsome man, she suspects.  Certainly, a charismatic one.  Vestiges of that charm remain.  From his sly eyes to his wicked grin to his unexpected laugh, the old Sith is a man of many moods and expressions.   He looks like a monster and he acts like a monster, but somehow it is easy to forget that he is a monster.

 

And that’s because there are as many contradictions to Snoke as there are consistencies.  For though this man has held a sword to her throat and killed billions, he is unfailingly gentle and considerate to her now as host.  He treats Rey with amused indulgence and grants her wide latitude when compared to others.  And no matter how ugly are the Supreme Leader’s deeds, his manner and his language are uniformly elegant and restrained.  He is strangely aristocratic and cerebral, very much above the fray.  After all the dire warnings from Luke Skywalker, Rey had expected the Sith Master to be cruelly capricious.  So it comes as a surprise to learn that Snoke is as ruthless with his logic as he is with his armies.  He is the farthest thing from an unthinking brute.  That’s probably what makes him so formidable, Rey realizes. 

 

“My violence always has a purpose,” Leader Snoke assures her when Rey witnesses him order the subjugation a highly populous world.  “The Sith are not butchers.  We are architects of the future.  There is a higher purpose at work here.”

 

Rey is not certain about this claim.  But she is certain that Darth Plagueis the Wise is having a good time conquering the galaxy.  This Sith Master is no tormented soul wracked by guilt and beset by self-doubts.    He is confident and positive, calculating and measured, zealous and determined.  It is oddly appealing in a twisted sort of way.  And it is the farthest thing from what Master Luke has led Rey to expect.  The Dark Side is . . . well . . . Dark.  Unquestionably so.  But it doesn’t seem unhappy.  At times, Snoke is downright jovial.

 

All in all, Snoke reminds Rey strongly of a more mature, more refined Kylo.  And that makes some sense given he is the Apprentice. 

 

The reclusive mastermind of the First Order lives in a rambling underground bunker that appears to be a nondescript warehouse complex from the surface.   Underneath this bland veneer, there are several levels of meeting rooms and a vast complex of intelligence operations.  This upper portion of the bunker is military in design and teeming with efficiency and uniformed personnel.  Farther below lie the private living quarters of the Supreme Leader.   This is the Sith’s lair and it is quiet and luxurious.  Contrary to everything Luke Skywalker has told Rey about the habits of the Sith, this is not a place to brood over anger, pain and denial.  Quite the contrary, for Darth Plagueis the Wise lives large and lives well. 

 

Everywhere Rey looks there is exotic art and sculpture mixed among furniture dressed in handsome, deep hued fabrics.  Whether it is fine food or plush surroundings, the Supreme Leader does not deny himself pleasure.   Often times, Rey comes to realize, his indulgence is stealth.  Like the heavy black robes he wears that when in motion reveal the ornate gold and red silk linings underneath.   This Sith Master is a mixture of self-restraint and gratuitous abandon, just as his personality can vacillate from coldly calculating to gracious.  He is unpredictable and disarming.  And also, bizarrely compelling.  For the fascination of it all draws Rey in. 

 

When Leader Snoke isn’t upstairs terrifying the elite of the First Order, he can usually be found downstairs in his office watching digital screens flashing stock tickers from the business center worlds of the galaxy.  Most nights Snoke spends pouring over the many ancient paperbound books that line the walls of his extensive library.  There is also some sort of training room full of scary looking combat droids that Rey stumbles into by accident.  She has been summoned and told only that the Master is practicing.   Practicing what?  Rey wonders as she first sticks her head into the empty office.  A walk through the library, dining room and living areas is not fruitful either.  She pops upstairs to find that Snoke's regal audience chamber is empty as well.   That just leaves the two doors at the back of the living quarters which Rey has never ventured past.  Her timid knock on the first door yields no immediate response so she peeks in.  This must be the Leader’s bedchamber.  It is not empty.  Rey sees two Twi'lek women.  One is seated while the other fastens an ornate skull cap around the head and tentacles of the other woman.     They both look up at Rey standing in the open doorway.  "E-Excuse m-me," an embarrassed Rey mutters as she hurriedly shuts the door.   She doesn't want to know any more about whatever that was. 

 

Quickly, Rey scoots over to the second door.  Her knock there also goes unanswered.  So Rey takes a deep breath and activates the door.  The Sith is inside with a double bladed red lightsaber that he whirls to brandish inches from her throat.   He is deep in concentration and Rey has caught him by surprise.  She takes a step back and raises her hands in quick surrender.   "It’s blue lightning or nothing," she stammers with eyes wide.

 

Snoke throws his head back to laugh out loud.  Then he extinguishes the strange sword.  "There you are, daughter.  Come and meditate with me."  He beckons her forward into the large room.

 

"Afterwards, can I try your sword?" she asks hopefully.  It reminds her of her fighting staff back on Jakku. 

 

"No."

 

"Not even if I recite the Sith Code?" she begs.   She sort of has it memorized.  Almost.

 

"No."

 

"In Huttese?"

 

"No.  Where did you learn to speak Hutt?" Snoke asks, clearly intrigued.

 

"I don't speak Hutt," Rey confesses. "I just know a few curse words."

 

"I am scandalized," Snoke looks to her and feigns shock.  It makes her giggle.  "A lady does not swear, Renata."

 

"Maybe not, but a scavenger does," Rey informs him pertly. 

 

"You are not a scavenger any longer, Princess," he reminds her and she suppresses the urge to roll her eyes.  All this princess business is a farce.  "No swearing and no swords," Leader Snoke tells her primly. 

 

"Why not?" Rey complains.  All these rules don’t seem very Sith, after all. 

 

“Why not cursing or why not swords?”  Snoke is teasing her now.  He’s in a good mood. 

 

“Swords,” she shoots him a look.  Then hastily remembers herself and demurely drops her eyes to the floor as she amends, “Master . . . sir . . . “

 

"I like women to have all their limbs,” he explains easily.   “You will cut your arm off with this, Rey.  It is far too dangerous for a beginner."

 

"You sound like Kylo," she grumbles. 

 

"If I recall correctly, you did more damage to my Apprentice with the saber hilt than you did the saber blade."

 

The memory of Kylo's dented helmet makes Rey chuckle a bit.  She meets Snoke’s eyes and grins.  "He deserved it."

 

"Perhaps," Snoke replies in that enigmatic way of his.  Those golden eyes are twinkling at her now.   Enjoying the shared memory of Rey humbling his proud Apprentice.  "His men are never going to let him forget that particular battle scar.  Now come, let us meditate . . . "

 

Overseeing life in the Sith’s lair is an old manservant with great dignity named Milo.  He is a slight and neat man who functions as the personal assistant to the Supreme Leader.  Like his Master, Milo has the formal politeness of a bygone era.  Never once has Rey heard Milo raise his voice or even interrupt anyone.  But to a man, the few First Order officers who are invited down to the Leader's private abode are in awe of old Milo.  Rey finds it humorous. 

 

"It is good to have a young person around here again," Milo remarks one morning when he catches her sitting perched on the kitchen counter, feet dangling as she watches a droid chop vegetables.  She’s fascinated by all the elaborate cooking done for the Supreme Leader.  She has never seen such effort put into food.  "It has been many years now since Kylo Ren went to war."

 

Rey’s ears perk up.  "Kylo lived here?"

 

"Oh, yes.   For years."  And that’s all Rey manages to get out of Milo about Kylo Ren.  Milo is very discreet, which tells Rey that the old servant knows everything.

 

Rey hasn’t seen or communicated with Kylo since the day he presented her here for execution.  That is by her choice.  Snoke announces one day that his Apprentice will be arriving shortly.  Would she like to meet with him?  No, Rey declines emphatically and Snoke leaves it at that.  She soon realizes that Kylo Ren is here in person on a weekly basis to report to his Sith Master.  On those occasions, Rey makes certain to make herself scarce.    These days, all Rey knows of Kylo Ren is what she and everyone else sees on the holonet newsfeeds.  And, yeah, she checks it every morning first thing but just because she’s curious.  As she had told Kylo on his shuttle, they were a mistake.   And after all that has transpired, they are definitely over.   She has way too much self-respect to be with a raging brute who hits her.  Rey might be a scavenger from Jakku but she’s way too good for Kylo Ren.

 

There are lots of secrets tucked away in the Leader’s bunker, and Rey is merely one of them.  She lives in Snoke’s lair a full month before she learns that General Hux is also in residence.  Rey is summoned to her Master’s audience chamber one morning when she is forced to pause before entering.  She waits for a pair of stormtroopers to drag out the body of a man who apparently was Snoke’s prior appointment.  The man is still alive, Rey senses through the Force, but just barely.  He is face down and his body seems to be smoking slightly.  All Rey sees is a tall, very slim body in a First Order uniform and longish auburn hair.  There is an acrid, electrical burn smell as the troopers drag him past. 

 

Rey eyes the unfortunate man with alarm and concern. 

 

“Ah, daughter.  Come in, come in,” Snoke is standing beside his throne beckoning her to enter.  Dutifully, Rey approaches to kneel at her Master’s feet, head bowed.  Up here amid the pomp of the First Order, Rey knows to be on her best behavior.  But she sneaks a final peek over her shoulder at the injured man. 

 

Snoke sees how disturbed she is.  "Never choose lightning,” he counsels.   “Always choose the sword.  A Force user should die by the sword."  The old Muun offers his hand to raise her and favors Rey with his customary courtly bow and a fatherly kiss on the forehead.  Old Darth Plagueis has the smooth manners of a bygone era that never lapse.  Even, it seems, when torture is called for. 

 

Rey sees the injured man with the red hair again a few weeks later when once more troopers are hoisting his unconscious body in the hallway.  This time, a curious Rey follows.  The man is taken to a small infirmary where a team of medics and droids gets right to work.  No one seems alarmed.  This is business as usual, she perceives. 

 

“Will he be alright?” Rey asks.  They are all surprised to see her but no one throws her out.  As the resident Sith princess, Rey pretty much has the run of the Supreme Leader’s command center. 

 

“He’ll be alright,” she is told.  “The Leader wants him alive so he can be punished some more.  Did you want to speak with him?  Come back tomorrow.  General Hux is going in a bacta tank now.”

 

Hux?  This is General Hux?  Rey scrutinizes Snoke’s victim as he lays on a gurney.  His face is partially obscured by his disheveled hair and by a few days of beard stubble but, yes, those are the classically handsome features of the famous general.  And though his hair is far too long for military regulation, it is that unmistakable carrot red.  Here is her era’s most famous war criminal himself brought low by defeat. 

 

Rey is morbidly fascinated.

 

This man gleefully killed billions on Hosnia and nearly killed her too at the Resistance base on Illenium.  He is a genocidal fascist zealot.  But now, he is the victim.  Is his suffering justice for all the lives lost?  Can there ever be justice for that sort of crime?  Rey isn’t sure.  Besides, Snoke isn’t torturing this man as punishment for his crimes but for his loss of the Starkiller.  Hux is being hurt because the First Order isn’t able to hurt more people with their super weapon.  And so there is no moral underpinning to his treatment.  Looking down at his deathly pale, waxy skin, all Rey sees is more violence and pain.    She feels pity for this man and not vindication.

 

When on a whim Rey wanders back the next day, she finds the general still unconscious but looking better. 

 

“He will come in and out of awareness for a few days,” she is told.  “We keep him drugged for the pain.  It takes him a full week, sometimes more to recover.  Then the Leader gives him a few days to wait in dread before it begins again,” a medic tells Rey matter of fact.  The medic moves to activate the screen on the wall opposite Hux’s bed.  “He likes to listen to the holonet war news.  Once he’s more recovered, he’ll read some.”  The medic gestures to the datapad sitting on the bedside table. 

 

“How long has this been going on?” Rey is almost afraid to ask.

 

“Since he got here the day after the Starkiller.” 

 

Rey does the math in her head.  “That was almost eight standard months ago.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh.”

 

The holonet war footage on the wall screen is showing Kylo Ren storming some Mid Rim world in a siege of its four major cities.  Rey watches for a moment and then picks up Hux’s datapad.  There are pages of unanswered and unread messages that Rey ignores.  She won’t pry into his personal affairs.  Luckily, there is only one reading file.  It’s a biography of the long dead Imperial Grand Moff Wilhulf Tarkin.  Rey finds the bookmarked stopping point, mutes the volume on the holonet, and begins to read aloud.  She stays about an hour until her voice gets dry from speaking. 

 

The next day, Rey is back and reading aloud about Tarkin’s middle years fighting the Clone Wars.  General Hux’s eyelids flutter open now and then and Rey thinks he is listening.  But she can’t be sure.  Once or twice, he has seemed to look right at her for a few seconds before falling back unconscious.  Rey just goes right on reading.  She’s recounting Tarkin’s contempt for the Clone Wars era generals except for one rather suspiciously named Skywalker when Snoke glides in. 

 

Rey instantly leaps to her feet, as though she is caught.  “Master.”  She nods to him in respect.  He looks at her expectantly and so Rey bobs a little awkward curtsy. 

 

“Visiting the sick, are you?”  Snoke appears bemused.  “How merciful of you.”  The Leader walks forward to peer over her shoulder.  “What were you reading to him about my son?”

 

His son?  Rey is confused.  Snoke claims Darth Vader as his son.  This Jedi General Anakin Skywalker must be some other Skywalker, Rey thinks.  There certainly seem to be a lot of them.  Because as far as she is concerned, Skywalkers keep popping up everywhere in her life.  “It’s a biography of Wilhulf Tarkin.” 

 

Snoke chuckles.  “How fitting.  Tarkin and the general here each lost a Death Star.”  The Sith Master considers the injured man laid out before him a long moment.  “Yes, it is fitting.  Like Tarkin, our young friend here is toughminded and shrewd.  It is too bad he is here.  We have need of General Hux in the field currently.” 

 

This praise for his victim surprises her.  “How much longer will you punish him?” Rey dares to ask quietly.

 

Snoke shrugs with chilling nonchalance.  “Until I lose interest.  It is still rather satisfying for me.  It’s too soon to kill him.”

 

Rey has no words to reply to this callous remark.  

 

“Are y-you . . . an . . . a-angel?”  a hoarse, weak voice ventures weakly.  It’s General Hux and he is squinting up at her.   Eyes unfocused and expression wondrous.

 

What?  “What?”

 

“B-beaut-ti-ful . . . a-and you’re in w-white . . .” Hux sputters before his eyelids fall closed once more. 

 

Over her shoulder, Leader Snoke flashes a smug grin at his victim’s confused state.  “No, General, she's a princess.  There are no angels, there are no devils, there are no gods.  There is only me.  Always and forever there is me.”

 

No doubt this is a very disheartening response for poor Hux.  Rey decides that very moment that she will continue to visit him.  She will show General Hux the mercy and kindness he failed to show others. 

 

“You are so softhearted, Princess,” her Master observes softly.  “So full of Light.  It’s no wonder my Apprentice was taken by you.  And see here, today you have made another conquest.”

 

Two days later, General Hux is alert and awake.  With the heavy drugs flushed from his system, his real personality is back.  It is imperious, skeptical and snippy, Rey sees as she watches him order around a hapless medic.  Hux might be severely out of favor, but he’s still a general.  He treats everyone like he’s their commanding officer.  Still, he smiles slightly at her approach.

 

Rey and the general have encountered one another before on the _Finalizer_ , but he appears not to remember.  “Are you really a princess?” Hux asks with one brow raised.  His eyes sweep over her with careful scrutiny, taking in her fancy attire.

 

“You can call me Rey,” she tells him as she settles into a chair at his bedside.   This princess business is a bit silly, she thinks.  Whoever heard of a Jakku princess?

 

“You are a princess.”  Hux says this like it’s an accusation.   

 

Rey smiles and gives a little shrug.  “The Leader calls me one.” 

 

“He calls you daughter too.  But you’re not really his daughter, are you?” Hux cross-examines.  “You’re far too pretty and far too human to be his daughter.”

 

How would he know that Snoke calls her daughter?  The general must have been asking around about her.  “No, I am not his daughter.  I am the daughter several times removed of one of his prior Apprentices,” she reveals.

 

Hux digests this answer for a moment before firing off another question.  “Where are you from?”

 

“Jakku in the Western Reaches.” 

 

Hux’s sharp eyes narrow.  “You sound like you are from Coruscant,” he observes pointedly.

 

“My parents were,” she tells him softly.  Now she knows where her odd accent came from.  “But they are gone now.  I am the ward of the Supreme Leader.” 

 

“How did that come about?” Hux probes.  Clearly, he finds this all very unusual.

 

“Kylo Ren found me and brought me here.”

 

The very mention of Kylo Ren’s name makes Hux’s face darken with a frown.  The masked Sith Apprentice is the new face of the First Order as witnessed by the unending holonet coverage of his exploits.  Kylo Ren has thoroughly displaced General Hux in the media.  It must be a sore subject, so Rey picks up Hux’s datapad and begins to read aloud.  The young general watches her closely.  Every time Rey looks up from the datapad, she catches his eyes on her. 

 

When Rey is not visiting the recovering General Hux, she spends her days meditating, practicing the Force, and reading the materials Snoke assigns her.   Each night, she presents herself for a private dinner with her Master.  She listens to Snoke speak of the Force and she answers his questions about her past on Jakku.  At the onset, these dinners are a stilted affair.  But she and the Muun develop a certain rapport.  Snoke is far more engaging than prosy Luke Skywalker was when teaching the Force.  The old Muun’s eyes light up and he becomes animated as he speaks of his calling as a Sith.  He’s as obsessed with the Force as he is with power, Rey thinks.

 

Snoke picks up a datapad one night at dinner.  It’s a rare breach of his formal etiquette and he begs her indulgence.  “You must excuse me, my dear, but I have several more trades to execute.”

 

“Trades?” she asks as she downs another sip of wine.  Old Darth Plagueis drinks a lot of wine.  He keeps refilling her glass but Rey knows better than to try to keep up.

 

“Yes.  With these last few transactions, I will have effectively cornered the market on bacta,” he tells her with pride.  “For many years, I was a businessman in public.”

 

“Bacta?  You mean bacta for healing?”

 

“Yes.  There is a war going on.  Bacta will be in high demand and short supply.  This will make me lots of credits,” the Muun says with greedy relish.  “I do love credits, Princess.  I am a Sith so my first love is power, of course.”  He pauses to think a moment.  “My second love is probably women, but my third love is money.  And it is a very close third.” 

 

Rey gives him a knowing look.  “I think you have that wrong, Master.  Your first love is the Force and your second love is power.”

 

Her observation makes him smile.  “The Force and power are one and the same, my dear.  Whoever wields the Force, wields power.  And when the Force is with the Sith, the Sith rule the galaxy.”

 

Just then, the datapad beeps to indicate an urgent message has arrived.  Snoke investigates and smiles.  “Raise a glass, my dear,” he lifts his wine to clink it with her own.  “Kylo Ren reports that Malastare is subdued but with heavy civilian casualties.  Victory is mine,” he grins.  “And more bacta customers too, it seems.”

 

Rey dutifully toasts Kylo Ren’s victory, but with trepidation.  For of all the unsettling facets of old Darth Plagueis, this is by far the most disturbing one:  how he can blithely speak of suffering as though it were of no consequence.  Perhaps it’s because the ends always justify the means for a Sith, but Rey is appalled by Snoke’s cavalier attitude.  Whether he’s torturing his loyal subordinate General Hux or rejoicing in the death of innocent civilians on Malastare, Snoke takes it all in stride.  This man has hurt many, many people to achieve his ambitions.  He could care less about it too.

 

The next time Rey drops by to see General Hux, he’s back in the bacta tank.  His recovery is sufficient that Snoke has resumed his punishment.  Now the cycle of torment begins again.   Rey makes sure to present herself early at the infirmary the next day. 

 

“He’s got enough drugs in him to sedate a bantha,” the attending medic tells Rey.  “The Leader hurt him badly this time.  Very badly.”

 

“Oh, dear,” Rey looks down on the unconscious general.  Genocidal jerk that he is, she feels sorry for him.  Two wrongs don’t make a right, after all.  “Poor Hux,” she sighs.

 

“Yeah . . . I guess,” the medic frowns.  “He’s not the most likable guy.”  And that’s the understatement of the year.  “Still, he’s better than Kylo Ren.  That guy is much worse to deal with,” the medic tells her artlessly.  He considers the injured man a moment.  “You know, it’s funny how the Leader hurts him, Princess.  That magic lightning burns only on the inside of the body, frying the nerves mostly.  That’s why it’s so horrifically painful.  But it rarely harms the outside.  If the Leader lets him live, women will keep sighing over handsome Hux like before.   He’ll be as good looking as ever.”

 

Those words stick with Rey.  Later that night she sees Snoke relaxed in private with his hood thrown back and all his own horrific injuries made plain.  Yes, Rey thinks, this is a man who would prefer to harm in ways that do not outwardly show.  And in an odd fashion, that seems quite merciful of this twisted Dark Sith.  Darth Plagueis is a strange riddle of a man.  Completely lacking in empathy and yet at times disarmingly kind in his own way.  Perhaps in the end, Snoke still wants the option for Hux to resume his role as the pretty boy fascist of the First Order.  And in that case, he wouldn't want visible injuries that might cause viewers to change the channel on the holonet during a speech.  Yes, Snoke probably has some motive in the matter, Rey figures.  Still . . . Rey wonders if Snoke’s own experience has tempered the worst of his violence.   She hopes so.


	20. Chapter 20

"So . . . did you see her?" Nestor looks up from his datapad as Kylo stomps back onto his shuttle parked at the Leader’s bunker.

 

His response is a curt "No."  Then Kylo barks over his shoulder impatiently towards the cockpit, "I’m back.  Let's go.  NOW!"   The shuttle’s repulsor lifts kick in to break gravity and he is placated.  Kylo sighs as he turns back to Nestor.  "She was there though.  She's always there.  I feel her in the Force."   It’s hard to miss all that beguiling, shining Light that is a siren’s call to his mind.  It’s the telltale sign that Rey is there but she cannot or will not see him.

 

His friend wisely changes the topic.  "How was Grandpa?"

 

"In a good mood.  He had just finished frying Hux." 

 

"Ouch."

 

"You have no idea."  Ouch doesn't begin to describe the feeling of Force lightning.   Kylo knows from personal experience.  “I told Snoke that Skywalker got away again when he went to save some civilians.  He was fine about it."

 

"That’s bullshit,” Nestor objects.  "The Jedi ran from you, Kylo.  We all saw it."

 

"Skywalker doesn't want to kill me, Nestor.  He runs so he doesn’t have to fight me."  His uncle knows that anytime there is a lightsaber duel, all bets are off.  And usually, someone ends up dead.  Skywalker spent years in exile avoiding this conflict and, apparently, he still wants to avoid it even though he’s back in the game.  It is very frustrating. 

 

"He ran because he knows you’re gonna kill him,” Nestor says loyally.  “Did you tell Snoke about Dax?"

 

"Yeah.  He knows."

 

Nestor makes a fist.  "I liked that kid.  What'd Snoke say?"

 

Kylo shrugs.  "That there are worse ways to die than getting killed by a Jedi.”  And Snoke has a point there, Kylo thinks.  Luke Skywalker took down one Death Star, two Sith, and the Empire.  There is no shame for any in the First Order falling to his sword.  Well . . . no shame for anyone but Kylo Ren. 

 

“Yeah, I guess,” Nestor grumbles.  “I liked that kid.”  Kylo’s face must look dejected too because his second in command is moved to exhort to him, “Better luck next time, boss.”  And Kylo isn’t sure if Nestor is talking about a rematch with Skywalker, him finally getting to see Rey, or both. 

 

Many weeks go by before he actually lays eyes on Rey.   And when he does, she is unrecognizable.  Soft is the immediate word that comes to mind, and heretofore that would never be a word Kylo would use to describe Rey.  He arrives to report one day and finds that his Master will receive him in his library and not in the audience chamber.  Kylo drags off his mask and stalks down to Snoke’s private quarters where he spent so much time as a boy.  He hasn’t been here in ages, but not much has changed.  Into the library he marches, only to find Snoke with Rey.

 

Kylo stops in his tracks.  His heart skips a beat.  Then another.  “Rey.”

 

She looks up at the sound of her name and freezes.

 

Old Darth Plagueis smiles.

 

Her hair is caught up in an elegant tousled updo that vaguely reminds Kylo of Rey’s Jakku trio of buns.  Her face is lightly made up like he remembers from Kardura.  With glossy lips, smooth skin and girlishly flushed cheeks that just now are turning scarlet with embarrassed surprise.  Rey is seated so Kylo can’t tell much about her ivory dress except that it is long and it covers her demurely.  Altogether, this soft and pretty woman is a storybook princess,  not a desert scavenger.  The air of neglect and hunger is gone.  This woman looks pampered and polished.  She is beautiful in a very conventional, very refined sense. 

 

Instantly, he dislikes it. 

 

He shouldn’t be surprised.  After all, Darth Plagueis is the man who handed him a uniform, a mask and sword at age fifteen.  These gifts came complete with a new name.  In a day, the runaway Jedi Padawan Ben Solo became the Sith Apprentice Kylo Ren.  A powerful transformation began that day, even if it took years to completely take hold.  Knowing his Master’s penchant for control, Kylo wonders if Rey’s new makeover is her own form of new identity.  If behind all this feminine finery is a desire to transform the fierce girl who might have been an enemy Jedi.   Looking at her now, Rey appears a woman far more likely to break his heart than she would be to stab him in the heart.

 

Is it all for show?  Kylo wonders if the change is merely superficial or if the resilient girl he knew and admired has faded away.

 

Snoke turns to Rey and lays a gentle hand on her arm.  “Leave us, my dear.  Kylo Ren and I have a war to discuss.  Do look in on the poor general for me.”

 

Rey acknowledges this dismissal with a regal incline of her head worthy of his princess mother.  She rises gracefully and exits the room with a soft swish of fabric and a faint waft of perfume. 

 

His Master watches him watch her depart.  No doubt seeing his mix of disappointment and relief.  Snoke’s yellow eyes find Kylo’s dark ones.  “Kill Skywalker and I will give her back to you.  She will be yours to use as you see fit.”

 

It’s a good offer.  But Kylo does not respond, he just files it away.  “Who’s the general?” Kylo asks, anxious to move past this chance meeting with Rey and get down to business.  Well, any business other than Rey.

 

“General Hux is in residence in the infirmary again,” his Master reveals.  “He has not yet completed his punishment.”

 

Kylo nods knowingly at this.  “More lightning?”

 

“Yes.”  Snoke settles back in his chair and glances at the doorway through which Rey has just exited. “It kills two birds with one stone.  The general is atoning for his oversights and our princess has a chance to witness the effects of the full power of the Dark Side.  It is necessary for her to respect the Sith.  And this allows me to teach her to fear us without actually harming her.” 

 

That sounds like a win-win as far as Kylo is concerned.  Hux will suffer so Rey will not.  He nods his agreement.

 

“She is really quite delightful,” his Master muses aloud.  “So unaffected and intelligent.  Our princess has a natural connection to the Force.  No doubt she would have had her awakening soon.  It surprises me that it had not occurred already.”  Old Plagueis smiles absently.  “It is nice to have a woman around here.   It breaks up the monotony of uniforms.  Now,” his Master too gets down to business, “Tell me about the siege of the Mid Rim.  How much longer will this take?  I tire of wasting resources on those mediocre fly-over worlds.”

 

The Mid Rim is the bulk of the galaxy.  It is home to a mix of species, but mainly these are human worlds.  Unlike the Rim Worlds that are impoverished, largely undeveloped, and serve mostly as a source of raw materials and cheap labor for the galaxy, the Mid Rim is solidly middle class.  Its world economies are based on skilled manufacturing and service industry jobs that are too sophisticated for droids but too déclassé for the elite.  Here live the target consumers for every mass-produced item in the galaxy.  Here toil the hardworking, taxpaying and only mildly interesting bourgeoisie.  These people think they are living the good life, but that speaks more to their standards than it does to their true experience.  Prices are affordable, jobs are plentiful, people are mostly content.   They gawk at the lifestyles and culture of the Core and they look down on the slaves and outlaws of the Rim.  You can’t get more basic than the Mid Rim.

 

And therein lies the problem for the First Order.  Snoke’s revolution was born in the anonymity of the Unknown Territories and nurtured by the lawlessness and poverty of the Outer Rim. The far-flung outer systems are the natural constituency of the Order.  Worlds that welcome a strong arm which forces factions to cooperate and stamps out dissidents and crime.   Worlds that desperately need to believe the Order’s promises of security, order and prosperity.

 

The Mid-Rim systems present more challenge.   These are the remnants of the New Republic, the very heart of the galaxy.  Worlds with prosperity and opportunity.  Worlds where the institutions of government function and are largely trusted. There is just too much contentment and apathy here and not enough anger and political unrest.  And so, the Mid Rim worlds are hostile territory for the destroyers of Hosnian Prime.  

 

Without the leveraging threat of annihilation courtesy of the Starkiller, the First Order now must contend with the Mid Rim system by system.  Snoke’s political advisors long ago drew up plans to destabilize the governments of the most important worlds.   Exposing longstanding political corruption works but random violence and assassinations are more efficient.   Then the Order makes its offer: join us, let us help you.  We will keep you safe from the war.  Come, be a part of our glorious future.  It’s the offer of a handshake from a steel fist in a velvet glove.  Refuse the handshake and reject the First Order at your peril.  For if you will not submit, Kylo Ren will lay waste to your cities, burn your homes and turn your children into stormtroopers.   And in the end, you will submit anyway.

 

Some worlds instantly capitulate.  Others doubt the sincerity of the threat.  So, further examples must be made. The First Order doesn’t need the Starkiller Base to kill.  But the alternative means are far less efficient.  And so the war has bogged down in the Mid Rim.  The fighting is fierce and mostly to a draw.   Progress is slow and casualties are high on both sides.  It’s the Clone Wars all over again.

 

Snoke is growing impatient.  He had hoped to push through to the Core by now.  But that expectation had presumed judicious use of the Starkiller.  With the overwhelming leverage of his super weapon gone, far too many worlds resist his ultimatums.   Fighting on so many fronts is stretching the First Order’s resources thin. 

 

Kylo endures an hour-long grilling by his Master.  Then, he is dismissed and admonished to show faster, most satisfactory results.  The search for Skywalker is on indefinite hold now.  We will not chase him down, Snoke decides.   He will engage eventually, even if it’s a last stand.   With those marching orders, Kylo Ren goes back to the battlefront.

 

One week later, Kylo is back for another war council with Snoke.  This time, he presents himself with his arm in a sling.  He is sidelined now for at least a month while his nearly severed left arm knits itself back together.  His Master is displeased both by the injury and by his lack of meaningful progress.   Privately, Kylo thinks it ridiculous of his Master to attempt to conquer the galaxy in a mere year’s time.  But Snoke is adamant that time is on the side of the enemy.  And he may be right. 

 

When this latest interview with Snoke concludes, Kylo stalks back to his shuttle.  He’s tired, in pain and more than a little frustrated.  He is not in the mood for delay. 

 

“Kylo, wait.”

 

He whirls at the sound of her voice saying his name.  For a second, he forgets completely the throbbing pain of his left arm. “Rey.”

 

She’s in full princess mode, he sees, the same as last time.  Lovely and fragile looking in her long pale blue dress trimmed with sparkly bits.  This time, her hair is down and it’s a riot of dark waves that spill over her shoulders.  Rey looks like she belongs at some elegant Coruscant reception and not the inner sanctum of the First Order in the middle of a vicious war.  Damn . . . she’s beautiful.   How had he never noticed how truly beautiful Rey is?

 

Suddenly, Kylo does something completely uncharacteristic.  He panics.  He's never broken up with a girl before.  Hell, he's never had a girl before.  How does he play this?  This isn’t like talking trash to the enemy or exchanging insults with Hux and his military goons.  Kylo is at a complete loss for how to act.  So reflexively he defaults to distant and cold.   That's how his mother had always acted around his father when she was hurt and angry.   Thankfully, he has his mask on this time.  That makes it easier. 

 

“You're hurt.”   Rey gestures to his left arm.

 

He nods but brushes off her concern.  “It's healing.  It's not my sword arm.  It’s nothing really.” 

 

“Oh,” Rey stammers.  “Right.”  She bites her lip and then awkwardly shifts her weight.  “I’m sorry that you are hurt.  I saw your arm in a sling and I wondered.”

 

“Even I get hurt now and then.  It’s a war, people get hurt.”

 

“Yes.  Of course.”  She reddens and he regrets responding so sharply to her sympathy.  He’s a Sith and so he has become accustomed to bloodshed, even his own from time to time.  But frankly, he’s a bit embarrassed about this wound and touchy about the temporary weakness it represents.  Especially around Rey. 

 

“I guess I should have expected that,” Rey says softly.  “When I see you on the holonet, you’re always at the front of the action.”

 

He’s glad she’s noticed.  Hopefully, the rest of the galaxy has too.  “I lead the way my grandfather led,” Kylo boasts.  “From the front.”  She nods silently and he can’t stop himself from adding, “I will be as powerful as Darth Vader.  Just wait.”   There is an edge to his tone.  Her long ago insult had pricked his ego and stayed with him. 

 

Rey says nothing.  She just stands there looking hesitant and uncertain and increasingly embarrassed that she had ever stopped him in the first place.

 

“My shuttle is waiting,” he reminds her impatiently. 

 

“Yes.  Of course.”  Rey is beet red now.  “Excuse me for delaying you.”  And that phrase alone is something Rey of Jakku never would have said.  Kylo remembers a girl who strode confidently into the Niima Outpost and gruffly instructed him to stay quiet because she would do the talking.  His scavenger girl was never one for social niceties.  But apparently, she is now.  “Well, I hope your arm heals fast,” she says weakly. 

 

He nods.  Then turns and leaves. 

 

“Did you see her?”  Nestor asks him as the shuttle lifts off from Snoke’s bunker bound for the _Finalizer_.

 

“Yes, I saw her.”  Kylo has already begun obsessing over their few seconds of stilted conversation.  He knew that when he and Rey finally spoke, it would be awkward.  He had been right.  Still, he should have handled that better.  But Rey had caught him by surprise and belatedly he realizes that he has squandered the opportunity presented to him.

 

“And??  Did she speak to you this time?”

 

“She was worried when she saw my arm.  She stopped to ask me about it.” 

 

Nestor nods his approval at this.  “Well, that’s a good sign—you have her sympathy.  Next time, boss, you should arrive full on bleeding and let her fall at your feet.  Does she still look like a princess?”

 

“Yeah.  She looks like someone else now . . . ”  Not like the girl who had so captured his imagination.  The girl in desert rags with wrapped arms who had stood proudly outside the hovel she called home.  The Rey he knew had dressed like a peasant and acted like a queen.  She was never what she appeared to be and that was a good thing.

 

“What else did she say?”

 

“Not much else.”  He hadn’t given her a chance to say much else, Kylo realizes.  He had just made that crack about Vader and turned on heel and left.  Yeah . . . he blew his chance.  He should have asked Rey how she was doing, is Snoke treating her well, is she happy, what is she learning.    He cares about how she is doing.  Hell, he still cares about her.  Even if they aren’t together, he still cares about Rey.  She’s the only woman he has ever cared about.  Probably the only woman he ever will care about. 

 

Kylo looks down at his throbbing left arm and then over at the empty shuttle sleep bunk where the new kid used to snore when he slept.  This war is costing him and everyone else a lot.  Losing Rey was just the beginning, he realizes glumly. 

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re late,” General Hux observes coolly as Rey enters the small infirmary.  He’s propped up on pillows looking better today.

 

“Oh.  Uh . . . yeah.  Sorry,” Rey mumbles.  She is still rattled from her conversation with Kylo.  She feels strangely rejected and that stings even though they are over as a couple.  Kylo hadn’t even bothered to remove his mask.  She never even got to see his face.   That shouldn’t matter, but it does.

 

“I expect timeliness,” Hux informs her as though she were a remiss junior lieutenant.  The general tends to treat everyone like they are his subordinate.   Even princesses. 

 

 “I was delayed,” Rey explains softly. 

 

“Well, don’t let it happen again, Princess,” Hux reprimands her sternly.  Rey shoots him a look and he has the good grace to look chastised.   “I worried you weren’t coming,” he says quietly.

 

Something in the way he says this tells Rey how lonely Hux is.  For, oh, how the mighty have fallen.  She knows how bleak his existence is now, how pain ridden his life is.  His prized career is in tatters and his name is a byword for failure.  The general is keeping up a brave face in defeat but they both know it’s only a matter of time before Snoke kills him.  Oddly enough, Hux is still committed to his cause despite Snoke's treatment.  It must take this sort of blind fanaticism to command the Starkiller, Rey decides.  Only this sort of unquestioning devotion to the cause would permit a person to commit genocide.   And also to meekly accept torture as a just punishment.

 

Loneliness is an emotion Rey understands better than most.  So she decides to indulge the petulant General Hux and to put Kylo Ren out of her mind.  At least the general looks forward to seeing her.  Rey looks down at the disgraced man and her face softens.  “Does that mean you missed me?” she teases him with a small smile.

 

The general smiles back but he still complains, “It means you’re late.”  Hux complains a lot.   But under the circumstances, Rey thinks he’s entitled.  Usually, it means he’s feeling better.  A grumpy Hux is a happy Hux, she has learned. 

 

Rey settles into the chair that the medics now habitually leave for her at his bedside.  She cocks her head at him.  “What’s your given name, General?”  She has wondered this for a while now.

 

“Armitage.”

 

Rey mishears.   “Armistice?” 

 

“Hardly,” he scoffs and repeats himself.  “Armitage.”

 

“Very fancy,” Rey observes.  “That’s a name for a prince.”

 

He nods his agreement.  General Armitage Hux takes himself very seriously and it pleases him when others do the same.  But still, he adds, “My friends used to call me Army.  Army Hux.”

 

Rey grins.  “I like that better.  It’s very fitting.  Call me Rey,” she tells him impulsively.  “My friends call me Rey.”

 

Army Hux nods and waves a hand at the holonet screen playing the war news.  It’s showing Kylo Ren again.  “Turn that thing off, will you?  I’ve heard enough about Ren for today.”

 

Rey is more than happy to deactivate the screen.  She doesn’t particularly want to look at Kylo Ren today either.  “You don’t like each other, do you?”

 

“Ren is half insane.  Prone to violent tantrums and irrational impulses.   Obsessed with his own glory.  It will take more than Snoke’s little bitch swinging his sword to win the galaxy.”   The vehemence behind these words is biting.  “He’s making a mess of the Mid Rim.  Ren is fighting this war like he’s a Separatist, spreading our forces too thin.  He should be focusing on the key worlds.  You don’t fight everywhere, you fight where you choose to fight.  And you keep the enemy guessing where so that they are the ones who spread their forces thin.”

 

“I’ve seen one of those tantrums,” Rey recalls.  “It wasn’t pretty.”  Reflexively, she raises a hand to her cheek.  It’s a gesture the sharp eyed general doesn’t miss.

 

“Last year, I added a line item to the repair budget on the _Finalizer_ just to account for everything he broke,” Army grumbles.  “Ren is like an angry toddler when he doesn’t get his way.”

 

Yes, she remembers that.  It’s not a happy memory.  Rey changes the topic.  “Are they letting you eat today?”

 

“No, and I’m hungry.”

 

“Then, here,” Rey produces a muffin wrapped in a napkin that she has stolen from breakfast.  She leans forward to surreptitiously hand it to him.   “It’s blueberry,” she whispers.  “Your favorite.”


	21. Chapter 21

“Really?So what was he like in person?” Rey leans forward in her seat to ask the Supreme Leader.Snoke has the best stories and he’s always willing to share. “I’ve only seen his holonet pictures.”

 

She is at breakfast with Snoke and Milo. Laid on the table before her is enough food for Rey to eat for a week, maybe two weeks.And breakfast is the least elaborate of the daily meals.Of course, everything in Snoke's life is lavish, she now knows.Rey's eyes find the elaborately embroidered robe Snoke lounges in as he peruses his datapad.Even Milo's plain uniform is unquestionably expensive with seams that look expertly hand tailored.Rey thinks back to Luke Skywalker in his dingy homespun Jedi robes and Leia Organa in her Resistance uniform.From a purely creature comfort perspective, it certainly seems wise to choose Team Sith.

 

“You should ask Milo here,” Snoke answers as he looks up from his datapad.He’s checking the stock exchange indices, as is his habit first thing in the morning.“Milo knew my son best.How long were you at the castle, my friend?”

 

“Almost twenty years, my lord,” the old manservant answers.“Lord Vader was a good man, Princess.He was misunderstood by many.”

 

“Indeed,” Snoke agrees.“He was a principled man, but a realist.Lord Vader sincerely believed that his actions were for the best.I do not think my son would recognize himself in the history books now that the New Republic has succeeded in vilifying him.But then, history is the winner’s side of the story.”Snoke glances across at her as he shares a secret.“Rey, Lord Vader was funny.In all that has been written about my son, none of the biographers has ever focused on his dry wit.The man had a way with a phrase.But everyone was so afraid of him that no one recalls it.”

 

“Was he really that scary?”Rey reaches to refill her cup.Caf is an acquired taste, she has learned, as are many of the new foods she has tasted.But like during her time with the Resistance, Rey is trying hard to fit in.That seems to be the best strategy under the circumstances.Rey is used to people like Unkar Plutt having power over her.But that was nothing like the authority which old Darth Plagueis wields.And so, these days Rey aims to please.Mostly.

 

“Scary?Probably yes to his underlings.But not to me.”The old Sith muses a moment and his face is wistful.“Lord Vader lived a hard life.In many ways, my grandson is a victim of Lord Vader's life.”The Muun sighs and looks perturbed.“But then again, Luke Skywalker has made regrettable choices of his own.When Kylo Ren came along, I was determined that he would not fall prey to the Jedi.I owed that to my son.If I could not save my grandson from the Jedi, then I would save my great-grandson at least.”Snoke and Milo exchange glances which tells Rey that there is clearly more to this tale.“All parents want the best for their children, Rey.I am no different.”

 

Snoke cocks his head at her now and demands, “Tell me again how you met my Apprentice.”Snoke loves this story.He makes her recount it at least once a week.Who knew that the old Muun Sith would be such a sappy romantic?Rey dutifully retells the story and Snoke grins the whole time.“So in the darkness of the wrecked ship you suddenly appear as a lady of the Light.It is such a charming tale, Princess, so like my own first encounter with my Jedi girl.I met my fifth wife in the darkness of my temple.Even before she lit her sword, her mind was like a beacon in the gloom.It was love at first sight.”

 

“Or love at first saber, as Shan used to tell it,” Milo adds with a rare grin.

 

The two men share a laugh about old times and Rey feels compelled to remind them, “Kylo and I are not together.”It comes out a bit sullen.Maybe a bit defensive.

 

“Yes, I recall your dramatic arrival here, Princess.No doubt, so does my Apprentice.”The Sith now resumes his monologue.In the public of his audience chamber, the Supreme Leader is reserved and chilly in his demeanor.But in private, the man loves to talk.He’s back to speaking of the Force.Where Darth Plagueis is concerned, all things relate back to the Force.“Dark and Light are usually in conflict, but not always.Opposites can attract as well as repel.But when they come together, there is a reason.Often, there is change and knowledge as well.”Snoke reverts back to reminiscing now.“My Jedi wife taught me a great deal about the Force. She forever changed my understanding of the great mystery.She and I lived happily ever after until your great-grandfather murdered her.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Rey mumbles.For what else can she say?She’s not responsible for that.

 

“Sidious knew he could not kill me, so he harmed those closest to me.Then, he weakened me so that I could not revive them.”

 

“May the Force be with them,” Milo speaks of the dead with reverence.

 

“Yesss,” Snoke hisses out.“With them all.Shan, Caar and Lord Vader.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Rey apologizes again even though she doesn’t even know who all these people are.

 

“It was a long time ago.And Lord Sidious had his reasons,” Snoke allows.

 

“Power?” Rey guesses.

 

“Of course. But he had grievances.All Apprentices do.It was a mistake to try and separate Lord Sidious from his woman.I should have let him have that wretched tramp.She and Sheev deserved one another.”

 

“Who was she?” Rey is curious about her great-grandmother, the secret bride to the Emperor.

 

“Cresta Cole was her name.By day, she danced with the Coruscant Ballet and by night she danced for money in the Coruscant strip clubs.”

 

“She was a stripper??”That is a far more colorful background than Rey had imagined.Now, Rey is dying to know more about the secret Lady Sidious.

 

“Oh, yes.And on occasion, Cresta Cole was a prostitute.And a cheap one at that.Turning tricks is how she met Sheev.My Apprentice was a client.”

 

“Oh.”It takes a lot to shock Rey of Jakku and prostitution doesn't do it.She's seen women sell themselves for credits and once or twice she was desperate enough to consider it herself. Rey mostly feels compassion for women in those situations.Because when your best choice is selling sex, your choices are very limited indeed.Rey thinks a moment of the pair of Twi’lek women she had glimpsed in Snoke’s bedchamber.And now she thinks it the height of hypocrisy for this randy old Muun to be condemning Lord Sidious for his choice of companion.

 

Snoke must sense her judgement, for he explains.“That woman was a most unsuitable wife for a Senator.She was a liability in the making.But in the end, Sheev kept her quiet.Cresta Cole became quite an entrepreneur and a powerful figure in the Underworld.She owned most of the whorehouses on Coruscant and quite a few clubs.She made billions of credits off vice.”

 

The Muun shrugs.“I myself never saw the attraction.Sheev’s girl was a skinny redhead with a mouth like a spacer.But when the Sith fall in love, we tend to fall hard, fall fast, and fall forever.We Sith are emotional beings.Ruled by our impulses and reckless with our hearts.And so when Sheev met his girl, he would not be parted from her.My son was the same way.Lord Vader fell for his queen when he was just ten years old. It took him years, but he won her in the end.Then lost her, of course. There has been much loss in our family, I fear.”

 

Rey looks at old Milo and then over at the even older Snoke.Both men have extended their lives far in excess of normal expectancy with the help of Snoke’s Dark Force.These men have seen a lot through the years and most of it sounds unbearably sad.“Are there any happy endings on the Dark Side?” she ventures.

 

“I hope so, Princess, I hope so,” Snoke tells her softly.

 

What does that mean?“So not yet?” she asks.

 

“No, not yet.”

 

“It's because you all keep trying to kill each other, isn’t it?” she accuses.

 

“No,” Snoke contends.“Mostly, it has been because of the Jedi.They are the villains in my family history and in yours, Renata.My plan to separate Lord Sidious and his woman backfired when she became pregnant.She was vulnerable when the Jedi found her and, of course, they pounced.In those days, the Jedi essentially stole Force-sensitive children from their parents.The old Jedi Order could be very deft in its persuasion.In the end, the girl was lost to Lord Sidious forever.Brainwashed into their cult.It is no wonder she turned to drugs.”

 

“Drugs?” Rey echoes.This story keeps getting stranger.

 

“In her youth, your Jedi grandmother was a spice addict.Did Luke Skywalker not tell you that?Ironically, the addiction was what saved her life.Sheeva Cole was expelled from the Jedi Order a few years before Vader and Sidious began killing Jedi.”

 

“No, no he didn’t tell me that.”Snoke’s explanation of her family could not be more different than Luke’s Skywalker’s tale.The Sith remembers a stripper and an ex-Jedi druggie whereas Kylo’s uncle had omitted the Palpatine connection and instead spoken of a brave Knight of the Old Republic who lived in hiding.But maybe this is just one more way in which the Skywalker clan sees things from differing perspectives, Rey thinks.The truth of the past seems to vary depending on your point of view, she realizes.

 

“Back then, the Jedi sent children to war like they were expendable clone troopers instead of the future of their cult.Little Padawans as young as twelve were handed lightsabers and told to kill droids.But along the way, they watched their Jedi Masters die and their clone troopers die and their Padawan friends die.Even the Sith know not to expose impressionable, unprepared children too soon to too much.In the long run, it cripples their psyche and discourages them.The Jedi wound up with a lot of dead children and a lot of troubled children.Rey, your grandmother was one of many who struggled with their experiences.She turned to drugs to cope.When her addiction became unmanageable, she was expelled for her weakness.”

 

“In those days, being expelled meant your name was struck from the records of the Jedi Order.That stroke of fortune saved your grandmother's life when her father issued Order 66.Lord Sidious might have killed his own daughter except there were no records of her existence as a Jedi and so she was spared.”

 

“Did the Emperor ever meet her?” Rey wonders aloud.

 

“Not to my knowledge.After the purge, she would have gone into hiding.My spies lost track of her after she left the Jedi,” Snoke admits.

 

Milo speaks up now.“Lord Sidious looked for his daughter unsuccessfully for years.Both he and Lord Vader lost children to the Jedi.That was in part why Lord Sidious allowed Lord Vader to search for years for his own stolen son Luke Skywalker.”

 

Milo’s comment raises another story Rey wants to know.She had never had the nerve to ask when she had been with the Resistance and Kylo has never explained it.So she turns to Snoke now.“How did Luke Skywalker end up a Jedi and Leia Organa end up in the Rebellion?What happened that they were estranged from their parents?”

 

From the looks on both Milo’s and Snoke’s faces, this is a sore subject.But Snoke answers nonetheless.“Lord Vader was a malcontent as a Jedi for many reasons.Chief among them was his secret marriage.The Jedi Order forbade the union, of course.  Likely, so would have the Royal House of Naboo.”  Snoke shakes his head sadly.  “Lord Vader’s wife was pregnant when the Jedi attempted to take over the Republic.When my son sided with the Sith and chose the Empire, his wife fell into the hands of the Jedi.Officially, Lady Vader died in childbirth along with her children.”

 

“Died in childbirth?” Rey repeats.That outcome sounds positively archaic to her.

 

“You are right to be incredulous, Princess.By that time, modern medicine had given us General Grievous.The medics could keep the burn victim quadriplegic Lord Vader alive and well for years, but yet somehow his otherwise healthy wife died in childbirth.  Not coincidentally, my son’s wife died about the same time the Jedi stole her newborn children.The Jedi separated my grandchildren and gave them away for adoption.Kylo Ren’s mother was raised a princess in the Royal House of Alderaan.His uncle was raised a farm worker on the desert world Tatooine.They were fed lies about their family, about the Jedi, and about their father’s Empire.They were unknowing captives who became tools for the Jedi’s revenge.Luke Skywalker was raised to kill his father.Leia Organa was raised a left-wing terrorist.”

As Rey lets this information sink in, Milo asks her, "What is the Jedi like these days?"

 

"Yes, do tell," old Plagueis goads her."It has been years now since my grandson and I had a chat."Again, he and Milo exchange glances and Rey is certain there is a backstory she is not privy to.

 

Rey thinks a moment."He's very calm."Sort of unnervingly calm."He always looks at me as if he knows what I'm thinking."

 

Snoke actually rolls his eyes and shakes his head dismissively. "No subtlety.How Jedi.Of course, Skywalker was Master Yoda's pupil and that little green rat was the height of obnoxiousness with his affected speech patterns and silly cane as a prop."

 

"Master Luke seems very resigned," Rey adds.

 

"Yes, no doubt the burden of being so pious weighs on him."The Muun Sith is enjoying his sarcasm."So the Last Jedi is feeling the pressure of being the last of his kind?"Snoke scoffs at this concern."The Sith have persisted for a millennium mostly in pairs of Master and Apprentice.And we are still around, still in the game.You don't see us lamenting."

 

"Master Luke is resigned about Kylo," Rey clarifies.“Sad for how things have turned out.”

 

"Ah, yes, well misery loves company, especially when it is self-inflicted.My grandson lost his star student when my Apprentice saw through the lies of the Jedi.It takes courage to do that, Princess.Kylo Ren was brave to come home to the Sith.Perhaps my prodigal grandson will someday do the same.Luke Skywalker is welcome to come home.Always."

 

“Rey,” Snoke looks pointedly at her now.“The cult of the Jedi teaches a life of denial, frustration and loneliness.Do not be tempted to believe their lies.Emotion is a strength, not a weakness.  You should embrace your desires and seek what fulfills you.To do otherwise is to rush headlong into misery.  Regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, the life of the Jedi is a poor choice.”

“Luke Skywalker wanted me to kill Kylo like he was supposed to kill Vader,” Rey whispers as understanding dawns.

“Yes, the Jedi hate the Sith.They are always recruiting hapless young people to do their dirty work.”Snoke makes a face.“My family has been fighting over the Force for generations now as a result.”

 

“The Force isn’t worth killing anyone,” Rey decides.

 

Snoke raises an eyebrow at this naiveté.“Pursuit of power has long been a justification for violence. And not just among the Jedi and the Sith.”

 

Rey shakes her head.“The Force isn’t worth dying over.”

 

“Then what is?” Snoke challenges as he sits back in his chair to assess her.“What would a survivor like you consider to be worth dying over?”

 

Rey thinks a long moment.“Family is the only thing worth fighting for.Not the Force.Not politics.”

 

Snoke regards her steadily for a moment.When the silence becomes awkward, Rey rushes to fill it.And she doubles down on her view.“If someone tried to kill my family, I would fight them.I might kill them.I might die for my family.If I had a family, that is . . . which I don’t . . . not really . . . not anymore . . .“Her voice trails off and loses its vehemence.

 

“Lord Vader would agree with your sentiment,” Snoke observes cryptically.“Much to my chagrin, Princess.Much to my great chagrin.”Then Snoke turns back to Milo and the two men begin going over the Leader’s schedule for the day.

 

Listening to all the activities planned makes Rey a bit glum.There is not much for her to do inside Snoke's bunker.She’s going stir crazy.It's especially bad on the days when Hux is in his bacta tank and there is no one but Milo and the droids to hang out with.There is only so much primping, meditating and holonet surfing Rey can tolerate."I'm bored," she complains when Milo and Snoke are finished.

 

"Practice the Force," Snoke admonishes.

 

"I'd rather practice with a sword."She’s not giving up on a sword yet.Rey is a practical girl and she wants to learn practical skills.Meditation is fine but it won’t save your life.Swinging a sword and hiding in the Force like a stealth Sith might, but so far her Master is reluctant to teach those things.

 

Today is no exception,Snoke shoots her a quelling look."No swords, Rey."

 

"Then what?"

 

The Muun thinks a moment and turns to Milo. "Who is on my agenda for this afternoon?"

 

Milo spouts off a list of unfamiliar names from his tablet.Snoke considers and then turns back to her."Daughter, you may receive guests with me today.Await me in my audience chamber this afternoon.Milo will instruct you."

 

The Supreme Leader now stands to leave but first he reaches for a muffin to take with him.It's blueberry and it's the last of its kind.Rey’s eyes narrow as she follows his hand movement.Snoke hesitates and then picks up the muffin.He tosses it to her."Say hello to General Hux for me," the Sith smirks.Then Snoke raises his hand and another muffin floats into his grip courtesy of the Force. He peers at it and grunts out, "Banana."Then the Sith, his datapad, and his unsatisfactory muffin sweep from the room.

 

Later that day, Rey begins the first of many afternoons she will spend as a silent observer to Snoke's affairs of state."Watch and learn, Princess," Snoke admonishes.And she does. Rey stands a conspicuous but unannounced presence behind the Supreme Leader's throne as he conducts business.Rey never attends military or political briefings, but she attends most everything else.Whether it is delegations from newly conquered worlds appearing as supplicants or heads of state from First Order allies arriving to pay tribute, Rey looks on.She quietly attends a never ending list of ceremonies from treaty signings to military promotions.In her role as a mysterious, silent figure, Rey rapidly becomes the object of much speculation.This pleases coy old Darth Plagueis and tickles Rey to no end.For who would expect the Leader's aloof fancy princess to be the plain old scavenger Rey of Jakku?

 

It is the Sith's habit to ask Rey questions before he dismisses her from his audience chamber.'Did you learn something?' is his usual inquiry.Rey's answers vary from 'That I don't like Bothans' to observations about Snoke's techniques for deftly diffusing conflicts.Sometimes the Sith's questions require Rey to use the Force to divine her answers.'Who lied to me today?' is a favorite Snoke question, as is his frequent request to summarize a petitioner's mental and emotional state.It doesn't take long before Rey realizes that her Master is making her practice the Force while she observes his audiences.And that approach is very Darth Plagueis.Rey comes to realize that the devious old Sith loves to fashion neat solutions that resolve multiple problems.The Supreme Leader of the First Order always has multiple angles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the various character backstories alluded to in this chapter come from my other fics Fifth Wife, A New Hope and Red. Inspiration for Part 3 of Ghosts of the Past is taken from the final chapter of the fic A New Hope. 
> 
> The concept of the Old Republic Jedi Order "stealing" children is from Fulcrum, and it forever colors that character Rey's relationship to her Skywalker inlaws.
> 
> Are there happy endings on the Dark Side and, if so, what might they look like is a constant theme in my stories. Different tales resolve themselves in different ways.


	22. Chapter 22

“Blueberry?” Army asks hopefully as Rey slips him today’s pilfered muffin.

 

“Nope.  Banana.”  Rey gives the general an apologetic look.  “Sorry, but it was the best I could do.  Milo ate the last blueberry one.” 

 

Hux makes a face and sets the sweet aside.  “You eat it.”

 

Rey laughs.  “You sound like Snoke.  He keeps trying to fatten me up.  He says he doesn't like skinny women.”

 

General Hux considers Rey a moment, looking her over.  Then he smiles.  “I think you're perfect the way you are, Rey.  Don't change a thing.” 

 

She grins.  Then Rey reaches for the datapad to start reading.  It’s open to the message file.  None of the messages are open, she sees.  “Army, are you ever going to answer any of these messages?  You have . . . “ Rey scans the datapad for the total, “767 unread messages.”  Is Hux ignoring these because he has trouble with his fingers because the nerves are so fried?  “I’d be glad to help if the typing is hard,” Rey offers. 

 

He acts like he hasn’t heard the question. 

 

“You’re popular.  But it looks like a good third of these are from this same Commandant guy.”  And the Commandant guy looks to be getting pretty impatient, Rey sees.  Today’s message is marked urgent and the subject line is ‘I know that you’re alive.’

 

“I don’t want to talk to him,” the general snaps back and Rey takes the hint.

 

“Okay.  Well, be thinking of what you want me to read next because we’re almost done with this Tarkin book.”  A thought occurs to her now.  “You know, the Leader is always giving me stuff to read.  We could read some of those books, if you want.  It’s mostly history.”

 

Army looks surprised.  “The Supreme Leader gives you reading assignments?  What for?”

 

“He’s teaching me,” Rey reveals.  “Leader Snoke is my Master now.”

 

“Your Master?”  Hux’s eyes widen and then narrow.  “Only Ren calls him Master.”

 

“Oh, I’m not an Apprentice,” Rey hastily amends.  And what is she exactly?  The First Order’s permanent house guest?  A Dark Side hostage princess?  A pardoned Resistance fighter?  “I’m his ward,” she defaults to the public explanation for her presence.  It explains very little, she knows.

 

“The Force.  He’s teaching you the magic Force,” Army concludes and he doesn’t look happy about it.  And that’s not surprising given his experience with Snoke’s lightning.

 

“Yes,” Rey confirms softly.  “I have the Force.”  And it’s the whole reason she’s in this situation in the first place.    The Force and Kylo Ren are to blame. 

 

Hux frowns.  “You really are one of the Sith, aren’t you?  That’s why he calls you daughter.”

 

“Oh, Army,” Rey sighs.  For once, she is completely candid.  “I’m just as much a prisoner here as you are.”

 

“I’m not a prisoner, I’m a general,” he bites back.  As always, Army clings to what’s left of his status and command even though they both know it’s a meaningless title now.  Calling Hux a general these days is a bit like calling Rey a princess.  A nice fiction to keep up appearances.   But military life is all Army Hux knows and he is lost without the structure of its hierarchy.  Keeping his command is a small face saving mercy, Rey understands now.  For even if General Hux gets a dose of lightning every week, he still gets to order people around.

 

“Snoke calls me a princess,” she says softly.  “But I can’t leave either, Army.”

 

“When he summons me, he has started asking me about strategy first,” Hux confides.  The ‘he’ needs no explanation.  Around the First Order command bunker, it always refers to Leader Snoke.  

 

“He wants your opinion on the war?”

 

“Yes.   Ren is making a mess of the Mid Rim.  He's no Vader.” 

 

Rey takes this development as a good sign.  “Maybe he will give you back your command.” 

 

Hux just shakes his head and looks away.  She watches as his right hand clenches and unclenches the bedsheet.  The nerves on his extremities hurt the most, Rey knows, and they tend to spasm.  Rey reaches over to cover his hand with hers.   There are so few ways to comfort this prickly man in his ordeal.  And despite the excruciating physical pain he endures, Rey is beginning to understand that his mental anguish is the far greater burden.  Not that they talk about those things.  And that’s fine by her. Solitary Rey of Jakku doesn’t talk about her feelings much either.  In his own way, Hux is as stoic as she is. 

 

Army looks up to meet her concerned eyes.  Then he looks away.  "Have you ever let anyone down?" he asks after a moment.

 

He’s talking about the Starkiller.  And that’s a topic they have never discussed.   Rey suspects that this omission has been intentional on both of their parts.  She thinks a moment before she carefully answers his question.  "Yeah, I have let someone down.  I didn't mean to, but I did."

 

"What happened?" he asks, looking to her.  “Tell me.”

 

Rey sighs and now it's her turn to look away.    "I got caught up in something I really didn't want to be a part of.  It was something I knew he would disapprove of.  I knew I didn't belong there but I was afraid to leave.   When he found out, he felt betrayed.  I see now why he felt so betrayed . . ."

 

"Was this Snoke?"

 

"No.  It was my . . .  it was just this guy I once knew."   Rey looks at Army’s pale blue eyes with regret.  Even as thin and tired as he looks, the general’s face is still classically handsome.  Noble, really.  Such an attractive man to be a mass murderer, Rey thinks.  It’s disconcerting sometimes for her to know this man and like this man but hate what he has done.  But the same could be said of Kylo Ren, she figures.  These First Order men have a lot of blood on their hands. 

 

“Tell me.”

 

"I pretty much ruined everything," she confesses softly.  “Army, I made some bad decisions.  But they seemed right at the time . . . ”

 

"I know the feeling."  Hux sighs.  

 

"Did you get a chance to explain?” Rey asks.  “Did Snoke let you explain?"   Leader Snoke is many scary things, but he is very rational, Rey thinks.  And oddly fair. 

 

Hux nods.  "Yes.  He made me write a full report."

 

"I never got a chance to explain," Rey grumbles.  She's still bitter about getting backhanded by Kylo.  "He started swinging for my jaw before I got a chance to explain."  

 

Army looks equal parts horrified and intrigued.  “This guy beat you?  Did he catch you with another guy?”

 

“Oh, I didn’t cheat on him.  But he probably thought it was worse than cheating,” she grumbles.  “And maybe it was . . .”

 

“What did you do?” Army whispers.

 

“It doesn’t matter now . . . “ Rey doesn’t want to lie but Hux doesn’t need to know the truth either.  The Resistance is his sworn enemy and the reason for the demise of his super weapon.  He’s even less likely to approve of her sojourn with the Resistance than Kylo did.

 

“I ignored the advice of Ren and others to better defend the Starkiller,” Army quietly confesses his own sin.  “It had a weakness.”

 

“The oscillator,” Rey confirms without thinking.  And now General Hux is staring at her closely.

 

“How did you know that?” he demands.

 

Rey looks at the First Order general who is responsible for the death of billions.  He’s the closest thing she has now to a real friend.  Suddenly, she wants to be honest with him.  “I know because I was there, Army.  I was with the Resistance that day on the Illenium System.”

 

“With the Resistance??”  Hux is truly shocked.  He sits up in bed and stares at her. 

 

“Yes,” Rey admits.  “That’s why I am here.  Leader Snoke and Kylo Ren want to keep me away from the Resistance.”  And away from Luke Skywalker, she knows. 

 

“You were with the Resistance??”  Hux is still processing what she’s told him.  But she can see his outrage rising.

 

Rey nods but hastens to add, “I didn’t fight for them, Army.  I just ran supplies.”  He seems as equally unimpressed by this claim as Kylo had been.  Hux is looking at her now like she’s a completely different person in his eyes.  And as understandable as that is, his disapproval hurts.  “I guess this means you hate me now . . . “

 

“I don’t know what I think, Rey.”  Army says this sharply and in a way that betrays exactly what he thinks.   He is angry with her. 

 

“Look, I never wanted to be part of this war.  I didn’t want to fight for the Resistance or the First Order.   I made a mistake listening to the Resistance people.  They were only trying to use me for their objectives.  I see that now.  I’m only alive because of my family connection to Snoke.  Snoke lets me live as long as I am here.”

 

“Who are you?  Who is your family, Rey?”

 

“I told you—my great-grandfather was Snoke’s Apprentice years ago.  That’s why he calls me daughter.  Because my family is Sith.”  Well, it’s Jedi too, but Rey omits that inconvenient fact.  Hux’s pale blue eyes are looking at her now with suspicion and concern.  “Don’t hate me for my mistakes, Army.  I believed what the Resistance leaders told me.  It was the truth, but it wasn’t the whole truth.”

 

Hux looks at her a long moment as if deciding.  “I guess I’m not in a position to judge you, Rey.  I’ve made mistakes of my own.  I was arrogant when I ignored Ren’s warnings.  I allowed my personal feelings for Ren to interfere with my duty to the First Order.  We lost the weapon as a result.”

 

“So are we still friends?” Rey asks with much trepidation.

 

Army looks away.  “I guess . . . yes . . . “

 

There is a long moment of silence between them that is interrupted when a medic walks up.  “Time for your rehab, General.  Let’s get you on your feet.”  Both of them are grateful for the interruption, Rey senses, and glad for a change of topic.

 

“How far today?” Rey asks the medic. 

 

“Up and back the length of the corridor twenty times,” he answers.  “It’s the usual day five stuff, Princess.”

 

Hux swings his feet over the side of the bed and barks for the medic to bring him his boots.  Proud General Hux refuses to be seen in the hallway unless he is in full uniform.  “Time for my forced march,” he says without enthusiasm.    He’s a little unsteady on his feet at first and leans heavily on the medic.  But after a few seconds, he gets his balance.  Rey looks over the general.  He’s in a fresh uniform today and he’s clean shaven.  All in all, he looks fairly well.  That gives Rey an idea.

 

“I’ll walk with you, Army.  Let’s get off this level.  Let’s go upstairs.  Maybe even outside to breathe some real air.”

 

He pauses at the suggestion.  “There’s a lot of personnel up there . . . “ he hesitates. 

 

“Yes, and you outrank them all.” 

 

“Yes.  Yes, I do,” he decides.  “Okay, Princess.  Lead the way.”

 

And so slowly together they make their way to the elevator.  Army is gripping her arm tightly at first but then it’s just her hand.  By the time the elevator doors open to the crowded intel level Hux is standing tall even if he moves slowly and stiffly.  Carefully, she matches his stride and speed as they move through the main hallway towards the elevators to the landing pad. 

 

“Everyone is looking at us,” he says under his breath.  And it’s true.  They are attracting a lot of attention.  None of it is openly negative, like he fears.  Mostly it is curious and a little wary.   No one has seen nor heard from General Hux since the Starkiller, but there have been plenty of rumors.

 

“Everyone is looking at me,” Rey corrects him firmly.  She wants to downplay their gawking audience and to ease Army’s self-consciousness.  “There aren’t a lot of women here,” she reminds him.  Rey has only seen ten or fewer women the entire time she’s lived in the bunker.  And not one of them wears long flowy caped dresses like the one she has on.  Princess Renata sticks out like a sore thumb amid all the uniformed sameness of the First Order. 

 

“You’re right,” Hux agrees with a quick glance that meets her eye.  “Everyone is looking at you.  No other woman here is as pretty as you are.”

 

“Are you flirting with me, General?” Rey asks with mock coyness.  She’s happy to lighten the mood after her Resistance revelation a few minutes ago. 

 

“Is that allowed?”

 

“Yes,” Rey decides with a wide smile.  Definitely yes.  They are at the elevators to the landing pad now.  “Are you tired?” Rey asks as she slips a supporting arm around his back and looks up at him.  “Army, we don’t have to go up to the landing pad if you’re tired.  We can just walk back to the infirmary.”

 

He’s about to answer when the elevator opens and its occupants march out and nearly over them. 

 

It’s Kylo Ren and Nestor Ren.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo is back to present himself to his Master for another grilling.  This time, Nestor is along for his own grilling.  The two men exchange wary glances as the elevator lands and the door opens.  Time to get this over with.  Kylo stomps forward and nearly smacks into Rey. 

 

“Rey?”  He stops and stares, taking in Rey standing inches from him looking gorgeous in a pink dress that is elegantly draped across her like something a mythical goddess might wear.  Gods, she is beautiful with her slashing brows and pouty lips and hair that has grown so long and lush since her Jakku days.  Kylo admires her profile a moment before he realizes that’s because she is looking up at some guy.  Is Rey in this guy’s arms or is it the other way around?  Kylo can’t be sure.  But it’s completely inappropriate in this setting.  And that shifts his attention to the man in question.  Because what the Hell is going on here?

 

Recognition takes a second because Hux looks awful.  Snoke’s torture has made him a shadow of his former self.  He looks like scarecrow in his baggy uniform that appears to have been slept in.  And that hair—Kylo almost wants to laugh at the sight of fastidious General Hux sporting hair longer than his own. 

 

“YOU!”  Hux has no trouble recognizing Kylo, even without his mask.  These two adversaries go way back.  The general’s sharp eyes narrow as he spits out his instant rage.  “You left us on the Starkiller!” he accuses.

 

Kylo ignores this outburst.  He’s focused on Rey.  Some guys see their ex across a crowded room at a party.  He meets his in a military bunker with his chief nemesis.  But that's how his life goes, Kylo knows.  Nothing is normal and easy if you're a Skywalker.  Least of all romance.  “Rey, what are you doing?“ he demands.  And what is she doing with him?

 

Hux is unwilling to be ignored.  The aggrieved general is spoiling for a fight.  “You refused to engage the enemy and ran off!  Leaving us poorly defended!”

 

It’s the same blame game Hux tried in his official report.  Kylo isn’t buying it.  He smirks at his longtime foe and his next words drip with contempt.  “Don’t blame me for your failure, General.  You were warned many times about the risk of that oscillator.”

 

Hux is in his face now, hollering his outrage.  “We called for backup!  You had legions of troopers onboard who could have helped defend us.   But you ignored us!  Ran off to play the hero on Illenium!”

 

“General—“  Rey is attempting to pull Hux back.  “Army, please don’t do this—“

 

“Army?   You call him Army?”  Suddenly, Kylo’s suspicions are raised.  He ignores the angry general for a moment to ponder just what the fuck Rey is doing at Hux’s side using the nickname he only lets a select few use.   “What’s going on here?  What are you doing with him, Rey?”

 

“Easy, Kylo,” Nestor intervenes.  He’s looking from him to Rey to Hux and seeing that things are about to explode.  There is now a small but gathering crowd of onlookers who have stopped work to watch this juicy confrontation.  Here are the two most powerful young leaders of the First Order and the beautiful mystery girl that Leader Snoke is rumored to call daughter. 

 

“Army is a friend,” Rey says stiffly.   “Now, let us pass.”

 

Kylo raises an eyebrow.  “Hux doesn’t have friends.  Everyone hates him.” He shoots the fuming general a cold look.  “And that was before he lost us the Starkiller.”

 

“You bear the blame too, Ren—“

 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?  I read your report!  I know how hard you tried to blame everyone but yourself!” Kylo sneers.  “If you had some actual combat experience and not just textbook knowledge, you would have known to listen to me.”

 

“You left the battle as soon as it began and headed for the Resistance!  You were betting we would lose!”

 

“You did lose!  Those terrorists were always going to make a go at your Death Star.  Only you were fool enough not to see—“

 

Kylo doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Hux takes a swing at him.  Kylo’s Force attuned reflexes allow him to weave out of the way, but he’s clumsy and hampered by his injured arm he still carries in a sling.  And so as his redheaded attacker launches himself at Kylo, down the two men go together in a heap.   Kylo would grab for his sword and finish Hux then and there except Rey and Nestor intervene now.  She’s yelping for them to stop as she grabs for Hux.  The general is fading fast from his own injuries and Nestor succeeds in separating them.  Nestor offers Kylo an arm to haul him to his feet while Hux lays panting on his back with Rey bending over him.  Watching her concern just pisses Kylo off more.  He walks over and pulls back his boot intending to kick Hux while he’s down.

 

“NO!”  Rey of Jakku knows a dirty fight and she anticipates him, throwing up her right arm reflexively.  The gesture unleashes a mighty Force push that throws Kylo hard against the far wall to knock the wind from him.  The fascinated crowd reacts to this blatant and surprising use of the Force.  Snoke’s daughter, indeed.

 

It gets worse.  Rey opens her palm and his saber flies into her hand before Kylo can think to stop it.  And now the First Order’s unlikely princess stands in a dramatic pose.  She has Kylo’s own saber lit and thrust forward at shoulder level poised to kill.  “Back off, Kylo!  Don’t kick an already injured man.  You are on the same side, remember?” 

 

It takes a moment for Kylo to regain his breath and his voice.  He stands there gaping at Rey.  Part of him is impressed that Rey’s Force skills have progressed so quickly, part of him is relieved that beneath her pampered exterior she is still the scrappy scavenger, and part of him is green-eyed with jealousy over her protective zeal for Hux.  The general brings out the very worst in him, Kylo knows.  Hux always gets under his skin and watching Rey be his champion today just makes it that much worse.  When finally Kylo can speak, he shoots Rey a pained look.  "Again with the sword?" he complains.

 

"I have to borrow yours,” she snaps back.  “Snoke won't let me have my own."

 

"Yes, I can see why,” he sneers.  “You are pretty trigger happy, Rey."

 

"Just where you are concerned, Kylo."  And now he sees that this is about more than just kicking Hux.  Rey is still plenty angry with him.    Her face says it all.  She is pissed.  Rey jerks her head in the direction of Nestor.  “Who’s the big guy?” she demands.  “What’s your knight’s name?”

 

“Sir Nestor Flick,” Nestor speaks up for himself.  “Second Knight of Ren, at your service, milady.”

 

“Nestor, help General Hux back to the infirmary downstairs,” Rey orders without so much as a glance behind her.  When Nestor hesitates at looks to him, she growls “NOW!” like some imperious Valkyrie.

 

“Go ahead, Nestor.  Get him to the medics,” Kylo agrees.  He himself might need a medic.  His left arm is pulsing with pain.  Getting tossed into the wall had banged his shoulder and now the ache radiates down his arm.  It fucking hurts.  Plus, it feels like Hux has split his lip.

 

Rey’s eyes find his arm in its sling.  “You’re still hurt,” she observes coolly.   If she’s sympathetic, she doesn’t show it.  But maybe that’s because he had acted like such an asshole about his arm the last time they had met.

 

“It was almost healed until you threw me into this wall,” Kylo grumbles.

 

“You said it was almost healed weeks ago.“

 

Yeah, whatever.  Why are they arguing about this?  “It’s almost healed,” he snarls through gritted teeth.

 

She’s considering this response when his Master lumbers up from behind her.  Kylo is late for his meeting and old Snoke apparently has come to investigate for himself.   Rey has her back turned, so she can’t see the amused look on the old Muun’s face as he takes in the scene and the onlookers.

 

“Kylo Ren, you lucky dog,” Darth Plagueis drawls out loudly.  “We should all be so fortunate as to be captive and at the mercy of a beautiful princess.”  The Supreme Leader crosses his arms and flashes his crooked grin from beneath his hood.  He’s enjoying this little scene.  “I suggest you surrender, Apprentice.  See what happens next.”  Then Snoke steps forward to lay a large and tempering hand on Rey’s shoulder.

 

Rey takes the hint.  She lowers the sword, deactivates it, and hands it to his Master.    “Thank you, daughter,” he intones.  “Now be so kind as to fetch Nestor Ren to my audience chamber.   And tell General Hux that I expect him afterwards.  If the general is spry enough to engage in fisticuffs, then he is overdue to report to me.”

 

Kylo watches as Rey gulps at these instructions.  Today all Rey’s sympathy is reserved for Hux, it seems.  For a moment, she looks stricken.  But dutifully, Rey complies.    

 

Kylo watches as she storms away.  War had brought his own parents together but then peace had torn them apart.  The opposite will be true for he and Rey, he realizes.   Whatever modicum of happiness they had carved out on Jakku before the Starkiller is long lost.   He shouldn’t be surprised.  Relationships never work out if you’re a Skywalker. 

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

“The Leader has ordered me to attend his strategy dinner tonight.” Army casually drops this bomb as he munches on the contraband snack Rey has slipped him. But the way his eyes immediately find hers tells Rey how important this is.

“Well, that's a good sign, right?”

“No, it is not. It's a chance for my peers to humiliate me.” She must look confused because Army starts to explain. “The Leader holds these group dinners every now and then. He gets the top brass together to argue amongst themselves while he sits back and listens. Everyone tries to outdo the others to impress him. It’s a lot of posturing and veiled insults.”

“Oh. That doesn't sound fun.”

“It's not fun. It's like a strategy session with alcohol and a chorus of haters.” Army sighs. “At least the lightning is in private . . . ”

He’s dreading this, Rey sees. “I'm sorry, Army. You're nervous, aren’t you?”

They have shared enough now as friends that he will admit, “A little.” Army gestures to himself sitting up in bed, a near perpetual invalid. “I'm not at my best.”

Yes. She agrees. “Will Kylo be there?” Rey is worried about another scuffle.

“I have no idea. Probably.” Just the mention of Kylo’s name seems to worsen Army’s mood. The general now bitterly complains, “I'll be the easy target that everyone is gunning for. And I'm out of the loop since I only see public information. I'm a general in name only, Rey. I’ve been Snoke's whipping boy since the Starkiller. Tonight, all the others will get their chance to take a shot at me too.” Hux runs a hand through his hair in a gesture that reminds her of Kylo. It also reminds Rey of how long Army’s hair has grown. The beleaguered general is a far cry from his pre-Starkiller holonet camera-ready self.

And that gives Rey an idea. "How about a haircut? I have a fancy grooming droid in my room. I bet it can do a man's haircut. Probably a shave too.” After all, she thinks, if the droid can do a coronet of braids and a statement lip, then basic men's grooming ought to be feasible. Army might not be able to act the part of an insider First Order general, but at least he can look the part. And maybe that will help his confidence. "Have you got another uniform?" she asks.

"No."

"Hmmm. That one looks a little slept in. We'll get a droid to press it.” Rey stands and helps him to his feet. “Come on, let's get you fixed up, General."

Tucked away in the privacy of Rey’s bedroom, Army takes a shower while a droid presses his uniform. Then he sits meekly as her grooming droid trims four inches off his hair.

"This droid is used to blowouts, spiral curls and braids," Rey teases. "Careful, or she will paint some lipstick on you."

Hux shoots her a pained look and Rey busts out laughing. But when they are done, Army looks more like his neat self she remembers from his speeches. He is very pale and exceeding slim. The uniform hangs on him a bit. But all in all, Army looks good. Well, not exactly good. But much improved.

He glances at the clock on her nightstand. “I need to get going,” he says without enthusiasm.

“Is the dinner here downstairs?”

“Yes. In his fancy dining room.”

“Okay. Down the hall then. Do you want me to help you there?” she asks.

“No,” comes his quick reply and immediately Rey regrets the offer. The proud general doesn’t want to be seen needing her assistance. She understands.

“Okay. At least let me help you stand.” Getting up is the hardest part, she knows. The fried nerves in his extremities make Army’s feet burn when pressure is first applied. Standing up to bear his own weight is painful for the first few seconds. But Army gets through it, like he does everything else. Rey walks with him over to the door, propping her friend up until the discomfort subsides and he can walk more normally. They stand together in her open doorway as Rey picks a stray piece of lint off his lapel and soothes the shoulders of his uniform. “You look good, Army. Really good.”

The prickly general leans in. "Thank you, Rey."

She nods and looks up at him. Rey is as worried about tonight as Army is. "Good luck," she whispers. Impulsively, Rey raises on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. This man might be the Starkiller's mass murder, but in his own view he was fighting a war to make the galaxy a better place. One man’s freedom fighter is another man’s terrorist, Rey now knows. And one man’s patriot is another’s zealot. However history will judge his sins, General Armitage Hux has suffered greatly for his failure. Today, Rey has tried to give him a bit of his dignity back. If nothing else, he will have that tonight.

"I'll be by first thing tomorrow morning with a muffin," she promises. “You can tell me all about it. Or nothing about it. It’s your call.”

"Don’t bother, Rey. It will probably be tonight," Army sighs. "Today is day ten."

Oh, yeah. He’s right. It has been ten days since Snoke last fried him with Force lightning. Army is overdue for his next round of torture. He won’t be eating a muffin tomorrow morning. He’ll be in a bacta tank pumped full of pain medicine. And that knowledge brings Rey low. For it is hard to see her friend in pain. She reaches for him now, pulling him into a gentle hug. Rey is not the most demonstrative person, having spent so many years alone. The standoffish general rivals her in skittishness. Neither of them is particularly touchy-feely. And so it takes an awkward moment, but his arms rise to encircle her and squeeze tight. Rey stands there, breathing in and hoping for the best. For if ever there was a man who needs a hug tonight, it is Armitage Hux.

Rey is the one to pull back, her forearms resting lightly on his as she looks up with concern and pity. “You’ll get through it, Army. You can do this.”

“I know,” he says softly. “With your help, I can get through anything, Rey.”

It’s a brave statement and a sweet one. Rey smiles up at him. His eyes find hers and then move lower. He’s not going to . . . yes, he is. Soft and gentle, slow and ever so fearful, Army’s lips find hers. The kiss is over in the blink of an eye. But it is the confidence he must need. For as Army leaves her, he stands tall and walks proud, if a little stiffly. Some men get a goodbye kiss from their beloved before they head off to war. But this general steals a kiss from a princess before he heads off to a dinner party that is a prelude to torture.

This is how Darth Plagueis treats his loyal First Order friends, Rey realizes. She can only imagine how a Sith Master treats his true enemies. Heaven help Luke Skywalker if Snoke and Kylo ever catch up with him, she thinks. Because it won’t be pretty.

On that happy note, Rey yanks off her shoes and plops on her bed to start reading Snoke’s homework. She’s only through the first few paragraphs when there is a knock on the door. It’s old Milo.

“Are you coming to dinner tonight, Princess?”

“To dinner? I thought that the Master was having dinner with his generals tonight.”

“He is. Your presence is requested as well, Princess.”

“Oh.” Rey has a bad feeling about this. But she dutifully agrees and begs five minutes’ grace from Milo to touch up her toilette. Snoke likes her looking pretty, she’s noticed. So when she presents herself, Rey has smooth hair, fresh lip gloss and a new dress on.

"Ah, Princess, we have been expecting you." Snoke immediately stands at her entrance. His old school manners prod the rest of his guests to follow suit and now all six officers in attendance haul themselves to their feet for her arrival. Including, she can’t help but notice, a grimacing and pained Army.

Before all these curious onlookers, Rey feels compelled to show Snoke her formal submission. So she crosses to sink gracefully to her knees before him. "My Master," she says softly. He offers her his hand to raise her and then leans down to kiss her forehead, as usual. "Daughter, welcome." He smiles approvingly at her pale blue dress. "How you brighten our dull assembly. Come and meet the First Order's team of rivals. This is my brain trust, my dear."

One by one, Rey is introduced to the five men she does not know. Snoke's dinner companions are a collection of dour looking mostly middle aged men with lots of rank stripes showing. Army is by far the youngest of the group.

Dinner proceeds as Hux had predicted. Snoke lounges at one end of the table, wine glass twirling absently in his hand, while his most senior officers debate strategy for the conquest of the Mid Rim. Rey is seated at her Master's left hand. The chair to his immediate right is left vacant although the table is set for a guest. Someone is late, it seems. Poor Hux is relegated to the furthermost spot from the Supreme Leader. A sure sign of his disfavor.

Like Rey, Army keeps his silence during dinner. And this does not go unnoticed. “Well, General Hux, what say you?” Snoke invites his opinion.

Army doesn't mince words. "We are playing into the hands of the enemy. This strategy will further spread our forces so that they are difficult to supply and lack critical mass for both attack and defense. We are vulnerable."

Snoke says nothing to this bold statement, but his generals leap to the offensive. "This is your fault Hux,” snaps the man to Rey’s left. “We would be in the Core by now if it weren't for your defeat."

Hux stands his ground. "You are losing sight of the goal. We need only to maintain control of the key systems in the Mid Rim. The rest can wait. We should be pressing on to the Core already."

"Are you suggesting we cede territory?" growls the oldest of the generals. He is a white-haired veteran who looks to be old enough to have served the Empire.

"Yes. Pull out of every non-key position and use those troops to attack the Core."

"That will be perceived as defeat," offers up the man to Army’s right.

"Not if we win. Time is the ally of the status quo. The more bogged down we become, the more likely we are to stay that way."

This argument resonates with the Supreme Leader, apparently. "Where would you attack the Core, General Hux?" Snoke speaks up.

"Coruscant," Hux answers without hesitation. “Conquest of the Core starts and ends at Coruscant.”

"That's a risky maneuver,” interjects the white-haired guy. “There is no guarantee that even if we win Coruscant, the rest of the Core will follow."

Army disagrees. "The Core is far more likely to follow us than if you do not hold Coruscant. And it will draw out the Resistance and the Jedi. Then, we can crush them in one swift stroke."

"At a last stand? No, they will not be so easily defeated.” The old Imperial veteran dismisses Hux’s idea out of hand. “The Resistance will just bide their time and wait. And the Jedi will go back into exile. Do not forget that their general fought in the Rebellion. Leia Organa knows how to strike and run better than anyone.”

"Forget their general, focus on the Jedi,” Hux asserts. “Ren needs to kill Skywalker now while he has the chance. Before he disappears again. Killing the Jedi is like taking Coruscant: it is symbolic but it matters."

"What is Ren’s delay?” someone complains. “The Jedi is seen everywhere these days. He is the flag they all rally around."

"Ren wants us to believe that the Jedi fears him and that he runs." The old Imperial veteran’s tone indicates his skepticism. "Skywalker is not afraid of Ren. The Jedi too is using the hit and run guerilla tactics from his Rebellion years."

Snoke raises a hand and the testy debate is silenced. The Supreme Leader turns to Rey now. "Princess, you know Skywalker," he reveals to the group. "What do you think the Jedi is doing?"

All eyes turn to Rey. And isn’t it obvious, she thinks to herself. There is no mystery to Skywalker’s actions. "Master Luke is avoiding a confrontation. Just like he did in exile."

"So he does fear Ren?" the grizzled veteran asks.

"No," Rey answers. "Master Luke fears killing Kylo. There is a difference."

"Agreed," Snoke intones, watching her closely. "Why?" She hesitates and he prods her softly. “You may speak freely, my dear.”

"Because Master Luke doesn't want to become like Kylo. Willing to kill his family to achieve his goals. He wants someone else to do it for him." Master Luke had wanted Rey to do it for him.

"So the Jedi is a coward," a voice from down the table concludes.

"Far from it,” Snoke counters. “Luke Skywalker has plenty of courage. The Jedi is a misguided idealist. He would rather turn Ren to his cause than kill him."

"Yes, but I don't think he believes that to be possible anymore," Rey confides softly to her Master.

"It is not," the Muun nods his agreement.

"That's why he asked me to kill Kylo," she half-whispers.

"I know. How I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that conversation, Princess." Snoke chuckles. "How exquisitely awkward that must have been. If my grandson were not such a good Jedi monk, he might have figured out why."

Rey looks the Muun Sith in the eye and warns, "I am not killing anyone."

He pats at her hand. "Yes, my dear, I am counting on that. Ah, Kylo Ren, welcome." The group looks to the door to find the masked and armed Sith standing on the threshold. Snoke waves him into the vacant place at his right side. Kylo removes his helmet as he seats himself.

He is directly across from her. Kylo eyes her a moment before his gaze sweeps over the other guests to find Hux at the end of the table. “What did I miss?”

Snoke pours Kylo a glass of wine. "General Hux thinks we should invade Coruscant. That we should bypass the Mid Rim and head for the Core. What say you, Kylo Ren?"

"If we control the Outer and Mid Rim, we control the Core. The Core is nothing without the economic underpinning it subsists off of. The real fight is the Mid Rim."

"But the goal is the Core," Hux shoots back.

"This is not a textbook exercise, Hux. This is real war," Kylo gibes.

But Hux will not be condescended to. "You have embroiled us in an unwinnable fight. Already we have lost the advantage--"

"We lost our advantage with the Starkiller,” interrupts a voice from down the table. “Fear of that battle station would have kept the local systems in line."

Hux scoffs at this. "The Tarkin Doctrine has limits, as the Empire learned. The more Ren tightens his grip, the more Mid Rim systems slip through our fingers. We need strategy, not just brute force."

“In time, we will overwhelm the Mid Rim,” Kylo is confident.

"These are Clone Wars era tactics, Ren,” Hux complains. “Our men are not droids. We do not have an unlimited supply--"

"What do you think Princess?" Snoke turns to her.

Wary Rey declines to participate in this discussion. "I know nothing of war."

"Come now, we both know that is not true. In some respects, you might know more than anyone at this table. Now tell us, what did you learn of war on Jakku?"

Again, everyone's eyes are on her. Rey takes a deep breath. Now is her chance to speak truth to power. She should not squander it. So Rey speaks her mind. "I saw only the aftermath of war. Its horror. Its loss."

"Indeed. And what did that teach you?"

"To avoid war."

"Why?”

“Because it is not the solution. The Battle of Jakku did not solve anything. You are still fighting wars thirty years later. The Rebellion became the New Republic and the Resistance. The Empire became the First Order. The facts are different but the broader conflicts are largely the same." Rey looks to Snoke now. "There is no war to end all wars. There is only more war."

"And why is that, my Sith daughter?" he purrs.

"Because peace is a lie," she realizes suddenly, quoting the age old Sith maxim.

“Very good, my dear,” Snoke approves. “The rest of the galaxy needs to learn that lesson as well. People have short memories, Princess. The Clone Wars ripped apart the galaxy several generations ago but few remember why or how. The Clone Wars are important less for what they were about and more for what they caused. For they primed many systems to acquiesce to the Empire. Systems that were tired of war. Tired of fighting.”

The Supreme Leader takes a long deep drink of his wine as he warms to his theme. “This is the dirty little secret of fascism. It sneaks up on most people unaware. Often, it is an invited guest. A welcome change from all the conflict and disorder that typically precede it. People forget that Sheev Palpatine was elected over and over again. That he was promoted to Supreme Chancellor by near universal acclaim. That his declaration of Empire was greeted by thunderous applause. The Old Republic died democratically, but few today realize it. But I remember, for I was there.”

Snoke looks at Rey indulgently now. "In the end, self-interest almost always trumps our more altruistic impulses. Most of us are survivors at our core. So long as most people have a safe place to live and food to eat, so long as they are treated well and given sufficient freedom, they can be content not to fight." He gives her a knowing look. "Can they not, my dear?"

Rey eyes her Master in resentful silence as Kylo, the First Order officers and Hux look on with undisguised interest. She is not enjoying being mocked, however subtlely it is done.

“I admire your ability to survive, daughter.” Snoke reaches out a spindly hand to paw at her forearm. "I like you docile, Princess."

Kylo snorts at this and looks annoyed. "Master, you are forgetting where I found her. And forgetting that she had a sword to my throat just last week."

Snoke brushes off this criticism. "Our princess has come a long way in a short period. These days, she is more a lover than a fighter."

Kylo glowers at this remark. "Hardly."

Snoke just laughs as Rey turns bright red. The subtext of their remarks is lost on all but her and the two Sith. But their audience is clearly intrigued.

"Rey is partly right." It's Hux speaking up from the end of the table. "War is not the solution. Not the whole solution. Subjugation is the beginning strategy but it is not the endgame. We were in this for a reason. War is the means but better governance is the goal. If Ren continues to lay waste to the entire Mid Rim, he only complicates our task. You are creating unnecessary enemies and needless destruction. Remember, Kylo Ren, you don’t just win the galaxy. You have to keep it."

Snoke raises an eyebrow and looks to Kylo now. The Sith plays Devil’s advocate. “Hux’s view was Lord Vader's view. Vader argued that shorter, more decisive conflicts are best."

"And yet he himself was involved in a protracted conflict with the Rebellion," Kylo reminds his Master.

"So true,” the Muun concedes. He turns back to Hux at the far end of the table. “General, this conversation merely reminds me of how great was your loss of the Starkiller.” Snoke’s voice is menacingly calm and Rey watches Army visibly pale in response.

There is a long, uncomfortable silence.

Rey breaks it. “I’m glad your Death Star is gone,” she dares to mutter under her breath. But Snoke catches the comment. He raises an eyebrow at her, but recklessly Rey keeps going. “The Starkiller was an abomination. No one should destroy an entire system.”

Rey is half expecting blue lightning for her heresy, but Snoke shrugs off her objection. “Sometimes you must be cruel to be kind, Princess. Once we bring order to the galaxy, we can make things the way we want them to be and all will prosper. The Starkiller would have made that task much more efficient. Fewer people would have died in the aggregate.”

The Supreme Leader of the First Order is still supremely confident in his glory. “General Hux’s folly slows us but does not stop us. There will be no one to stop us this time. The First Order is the flood that washes clean our collective sins, we are the fire the engulfs the world and burns down the past, we are the Gotterdammerung of myth, the agent of creative destruction, the cause whose time has come.” Snoke nods meaningfully at his adjacent Apprentice and the two men clink glasses. And now the others too raise a toast to the Supreme Leader’s glorious vision for the future. “May the Force be with us,” old Darth Plagueis grins slyly as he intones the ancient blessing upon the group. His guests dutifully respond in unison.

All but Rey whose glass still sits on the table.

“You do not join us, daughter?”

She shakes her head. “The Force will never be with you if you employ tactics like the Starkiller,” Rey blurts out with a sudden rush of insight. “Did the two Death Stars gone before not teach you that lesson, Master? In the end, you would have lost the Starkiller one way or another.”

“Are you defending Hux?” Kylo’s eyes narrow.

“Yes,” Rey decides a bit rashly. “You scapegoat him unfairly.”

“Stay out of this, Rey,” Kylo’s voice has a warning tone. “You don’t know what you are talking—“

Snoke cuts him off. “Our fair princess is correct. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.” The old Muun looks at her with interest now as he starts to explain. “Starkiller Base was a calculated risk, my dear. I had but a few uses in mind. Not enough to provoke the Force to strike back at us. Just enough to achieve my goals.”

“Why is she here?” Kylo complains dismissively.

Snoke looks to his Apprentice at his right hand and Rey at his left. “Balance,” he answers simply.

The rest of the dinner guests are lost in this exchange but to a man they all know of the Supreme Leader’s reverence for the magical Force. No one questions this Dark prophet’s wisdom when it comes to matters of the ancient religion.

Now the disgraced general at the end of the table speaks up yet again. As long as he has a seat at the table, Hux will make his voice heard. He brings the group back to the topic at hand. "Supreme Leader, you should pull out of the Mid Rim and push to the Core,” Hux urges once more. “Ren's actions in the Mid Rim promote neither our short term nor long term objectives."

Rey watches as Kylo rolls his eyes. But it seems that his Master is listening. The Muun Sith settles back in his chair and his gaze wanders the faces of the silent majority of officers. "Does anyone else share Hux’s view?" Snoke invites comment. Predictably, no one volunteers support. None of the high command wishes to side with the disgraced general.

And now, the Sith Master looks to her. "Princess?"

"I have no opinion. I will not plot your war," Rey answers. “I hate war.” Despite her best intentions, her reply comes out churlish. She is irked at yet again being dragged into a military discussion for which she feels woefully unprepared.

Snoke turns back to Kylo. "You see, Apprentice? She is a lover, not a fighter. Once more, the Jedi’s new hope declines to join the battle."

The Leader’s smug appraisal irritates Rey. Everything about this dinner is irritating Rey. From Snoke’s toying with Army, to Kylo’s dirty looks across the table, to the chorus of warmongering promotion seeking generals. She’s had enough of these First Order men for tonight. Rey rises to her feet now, tossing her napkin to the table in disgust as she eyes the two Sith. "I will not get in the middle of your family's wars. I was never truly a part of the Resistance and I will not join your First Order. I refuse to be a pawn of the Skywalkers, be they Jedi or Sith."

Snoke does not react to this outburst but Kylo does. He waves a dismissive hand in Rey’s direction. "It’s better this way, Master," Kylo drawls as he shoots her a scathing look. He looks angry about tonight’s discussion and Rey suspects he’s still angry about that incident with Hux and the sword still too. "She is not trustworthy. She's a faithless--"

"Worthless bitch," Rey finishes for him. "Yes, I recall your opinion, Kylo!" Rey will never forget how Kylo had first introduced her to his Master that day on the landing platform. And, really, calling her faithless is a bold complaint coming from a deceitful Sith. And worthless? Well, she grew up a scavenger on Jakku so she’s used to others’ scorn. "Good evening, gentlemen,” Rey announces through gritted teeth as she summons her maximum princess dignity to sweep from the room.

All eyes follow her quick exit. Then, they turn expectantly back to Snoke for his reaction.

Rey is out the door and so she misses the next moment when a thoughtful Darth Plagueis leans in to his Apprentice. “Our princess waited years in the desert for a family who did not come. She is hardly faithless, Kylo Ren. Perhaps the fault lies with you that you did not engender the same devotion. Plus, she is a lady with the Light and that is very rare these days. Do not be foolish enough to regard her as worthless. For you will find her very difficult to replace.”

Kylo makes no reply.

Snoke shoots him a dismissive look of reproach. "You still have no idea what you found on Jakku, do you?"

"Palpatine's heiress."

Again, the Sith Master looks askance at his Apprentice. "Our princess is far more than her heritage. Do not be a fool, Kylo Ren." Snoke punctuates these last words with a pointed finger. He has the last word, as usual. "Her value is in her future and not in her past." And now, Leader Snoke returns to military matters. “General Hux,” he barks down to the end of the table. “Tell me the logistics of how you would invade Coruscant. Walk me through your plan . . . “


	24. Chapter 24

A woman always knows when a man finds her attractive.  Often times, it's a benign thing--just an acknowledgment of sorts.  It might come from an older man or a married man and it's more of a compliment than anything.  Almost like a sense of approval.   But sometimes, it's a threatening thing--a scary, leering and off putting attitude.  Like when Unkar Plutt had begun looking her up and down at age twelve.  It had sent alarms bells off in Rey's head and her sense of danger was pricked.   In its best form, it's a flattering thing that a woman reciprocates.  He thinks you're cute and you think he's cute, and it's a sort of shared chemistry that feeds off itself.  And that's how things are between Rey and Hux.  Only Army hadn't pressed the issue and Rey hadn't flirted back and so the mutual attraction had lain dormant between them. 

 

Until he had kissed her last night. 

 

Rey has only been kissed by one other man and that's Kylo Ren.   And Kylo has only ever given her one gentle kiss--their first kiss.  The rest have been hungry and passionate and demanding, like the Sith himself.  Kissing Kylo is exciting, dangerous and sexy as Hell.   But kissing Army had been sweet and vulnerable and unexpected.  Really, the two men could not be more different.  Rey had just sort of assumed that she and Army were friends and nothing more.  But then again, Kylo had started out in the friend zone too.  But then the Sith had stolen a few kisses and things had progressed from there.  Fast. 

 

Rey is determined not to make that same mistake again.  Her heart is still far too sore from being broken by Kylo Ren.  And Army is the wrong guy to get involved with for any number of reasons, Rey knows.  For starters, Snoke could decide to kill the disgraced general any day.   There is no point in falling in love with a condemned man.  Then, there's the awkward antagonism between Army and Kylo.  Something tells her that Kylo would not be pleased if she and Hux paired up.  And she's never confessed her past with Kylo to the general.  No doubt, Army would not approve.  Plus, there is that whole war criminal genocide thing that she and Army don't talk about. 

 

What is it about her and these First Order guys?   If she ever gets out of this bunker, Rey vows to find herself a nice, ordinary man who isn't into ruling the galaxy or extremist politics, who doesn't have the Force or overbearing relatives.  All he needs to have is a decent job and a kind heart and to someday want a family.   That’s the man for her, Rey thinks.  And so, as handsome as the prisoner general is, and no matter how much she has grown to like him, Rey thinks it best that they remain purely friends.  

 

It's not like they have much of a choice, anyway.   The time they spend together is almost always in the public of the infirmary or walking the hallways of the bunker.  There will not be further chances for stolen kisses, she knows.  And Army can barely walk most days.  It's not like they are about to jump into bed together.  But if circumstances were different . . .  Well, Rey could definitely see herself in the arms of Army Hux.  The attraction is certainly real.  

 

All of Army's high maintenance quirks and grumblings have grown sort of endearing.  He's a man who won't complain about months of torture and yet he will go on forever griping about someone forgetting to polish his boots.  Army is very particular about his boots.  Well, Army is very particular about most everything.  But he is also perplexingly loyal.  His commitment to the First Order is unshaken despite his treatment.  And that impresses Rey on some level.   Kylo Ren hadn’t been loyal enough to even let her explain when he had found her at the Resistance.  Army would never have done that, Rey thinks.     

 

After Snoke’s dinner, Rey stays up late hating on Kylo Ren, worrying about Army, and obsessing about that kiss.  It turns out that Army's hunch is right.  After the party ends and Snoke has picked his brain for all his latest ideas, Army receives another dose of lightning.  In the morning, Rey wakes up to the message from her medic friend with the details.   General Hux is in a bacta tank again.  Everything is normal and he should wake in a day or two.  

 

It's a glum way to start the day.  Rey presents herself at breakfast feeling subdued.  She's hoping to avoid much conversation, especially about last night.   Old Milo senses her reticence and says little.  But the old Muun is in a mood to talk and to teach.   And as usual, Snoke’s whims are what matter.

 

"You made an impression on my generals last night."

 

Rey flushes with embarrassment at the memory of storming out of Snoke's dinner party.   "I don't belong at your war council, Master.  I don't like war," she grumbles, staring down into her cup of caf. 

 

"Would it surprise you if I told you that I feel the same way?   Princess, I prefer to use violence sparingly.  I pride myself on achieving more with my plots than with violence.  But violence is sometimes necessary." 

 

Rey raises a skeptical eyebrow.  "So you are an enlightened Sith, is that it?"

 

He ignores her sarcasm and considers the comment seriously. "In some respects, yes.  War is a tool.  A means to an end, but not the end itself."  He leans forward in his chair. "I want this war concluded as soon as possible."

 

Rey hears these words to mean that Snoke wants to win the galaxy as soon as possible.  It's always about power where the Sith are concerned, she knows.  "Does that mean the First Order will press forward to the Core?"  She's wondering if Snoke will take Army’s advice after all.

 

"I am considering it.  It is an unconventional strategy."

 

"You have long been an iconoclast, my Master," Milo observes quietly.

 

Snoke seems flattered by this assessment. "When you have lived as long as I have, you can't help but question the prevailing orthodoxies." 

 

Rey looks up sharply at this, confused.  This is a man who builds a third Death Star and plows through the galaxy like a Separatist as he aims to rebuild the Empire.  “But I only see you recreating the past,” she says softly.

 

Snoke is patient with her, as usual.  "Daughter, the old Jedi Masters were wrong. The fall of the Old Republic bears witness to that fact.  But we Sith had our own failings.  The fall of the Empire is evidence of our shortcomings.  And so, the future lies not in recreating the past but in transforming it anew.  I am ever the optimist.  I want us all to evolve." 

 

He sincerely believes this, Rey sees.  This Sith who no one knew existed sat on the sidelines for generations, watching and learning.  And now that the armchair quarterback of the galaxy has emerged, he fancies himself to be a committed political reformer, a messianic Dark savior whose time has come.  "The First Order will recreate the best parts of the Empire.  We will eschew its more regrettable aspects.   The corruption, the blatant favoritism of human species, toleration of slavery and other vices.   We can do better.  But first, we have to win."

 

Old Darth Plagueis sits back and looks thoughtful.  "Your friend General Hux is a bit of an iconoclast himself.  Armitage has long been a bold thinker for military matters.  His critics consider it the ignorance of inexperience but I see brilliance in that boy."  Snoke levels a pointed look across the table at Rey.  "It is the only thing that is keeping him alive."

 

Yes, she knows.  Army knows this too.  Snoke still has use for General Hux and that’s why so far he has eluded execution.  Darth Plagueis the Wise is nothing if not a rational man.  He always has a reason, be it for his torture or for his mercy.

 

“Princess, it is time that you learned how to connect through the Force,” Snoke announces.  “Finding someone in the Force is a very useful skill.   My Apprentice excels at these connections, so let us start with him.   Kylo Ren will make it easy for you.” 

 

Snoke looks at her intently now and jumps into her mind.  Such is the Sith Master’s skill that the experience is effortless for him and painless for her.  The Muun grins wickedly at her immediate look of shock.   Before Rey can react further, he calls to his Apprentice in the Force while he lurks in Rey’s mind. 

 

_Kylo Ren._

_What is thy bidding, my Master?_

 

Wow, is this strange, Rey thinks.  Snoke is in her mind and together now they are in Kylo's mind.  Her consciousness feels so blurred and diffuse.  Like she’s not sure where her mind stops and Kylo’s starts.   The normal boundaries of self that she takes for granted are gone.  It is frightening for Rey can’t help but remember when Kylo had ripped into her mind.  The memory of that pain rushes up to Rey and, of course, up to Snoke and Kylo as well.

 

_We have an interloper, Apprentice.  Rey is here with me.  Relax, daughter.  There is nothing to fear._

 

_Rey._   Her name provokes an immediate response.  She sees in Kylo's mind the briefest flicker of an image.  It's her in desert togs reaching for him on the _Finalizer_ , burying her face in the safety of his embrace.  She feels a rush of pleasure and she's not certain whether it is her reaction to the memory or his.  But instantly, the memory is suppressed. 

 

“Yes,” Snoke purrs.  “Feel each other's minds.  Princess, all Force users have a distinct feel in the Force.  The more intimate and longstanding their relationship with you, the easier it is to connect with them.  My Apprentice and I can find each other anywhere with little effort.   My Jedi wife and I could finish each other's sentences when we wished.”  

 

_Where are you, Kylo Ren?_

 

_On the Finalizer orbiting Kashyyyk._

 

“Many, many lightyears away.”  Snoke smiles over at her.  “The Force is better than any comlink.”

 

“Yes, yes, it is,” Rey whispers aloud. 

 

And then involuntarily she thinks of her distress when the Resistance had seized the comlink Kylo had given her right before Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa had walked in the room.  But her mind is merged with Kylo's and Snoke's and they both see this memory too.  Rey is flustered and her mind shifts.  Now she remembers Kylo giving her that same comlink on Jakku.  In the memory, Kylo is telling her that if she calls and he can’t come then he will send someone he trusts.  His dark eyes are intense and worried as he begs her to wait for him.  When the war is over, he wants them to be together.  It’s a memory that only dredges up regret and anger for Rey now.  She is embarrassed to be revealing too much of her and Kylo's past and the emotion that she feels along with it.  Rey wrenches her mind back and the connection is broken.  Abruptly she stands and physically stumbles away from the breakfast table.  Turning away to collect herself.

 

“Rey, are you alright?” Milo calls after her, looking concerned.

 

“Well, Princess?” drawls Snoke.

 

“Yes,” she replies as she turns back to the table.  Rey avoids Snoke’s golden eyes that are watching her with keen interest.   “Yes, I’m fine.”  She returns to her seat.

 

"Contact her tonight, Apprentice."  Snoke says these words aloud for her benefit even as he communicates them through the Force to Kylo.  "It will be easier if you initiate contact the first few times."

 

Rey can't hear Kylo's reply, of course. 

 

"Teach her well.  And be patient.   These connections are always somewhat clumsy at first.  You might need to be persistent.  A Sith does not take no for an answer, Kylo Ren," the Muun counsels.  He turns back to Rey now.  "My dear, there is no cause for embarrassment.  I know how enamored you and my Apprentice are of one another.  I will not fault you for bending to the will of the Force."

 

"The will of the Force?" she echoes.   What does the Force have to do with her and Kylo?   The Force--the war--the Skywalker clan drama--that is what tore them apart.   Rey gives Snoke a confused look. 

 

"Light and Dark come together for a reason, Princess," the old Muun intones sagely.

 

Yes, she has heard this platitude many times before.  Rey shakes her head and looks away.  "That was over a long time ago.  Kylo and I were a mistake."

 

"The Force does not make mistakes," Snoke informs her, sounding just like Kylo.   “Now, tell me again the story of how you met my Apprentice . . . “

 

Rey flashes Snoke a look of irritation now.  But dutifully, she complies.  He is a Sith, after all, and that means he won’t take no for an answer.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s late when Kylo finally gets around to fulfilling his Master’s command.  The _Finalizer_ keeps the same time schedule as Snoke’s bunker.  Coruscant Standard Time, of course.  Time is relative and somewhat arbitrary in deep space without a system’s rotation to mark its passage.  Coruscant Standard Time is as good a choice as any. 

 

_Rey?_

 

She is sleeping, he realizes.  Dreaming of exploring a wreck on Jakku.  Kylo concentrates but a brief moment and now he is not only in her mind, but he is in her dream too.  Experiencing it alongside Rey in real time.

 

_Today she’s managed to locate an old power coupling she can sell.  But she has wandered deep into an unfamiliar wreck to find it.  Now, Rey is lost and increasingly worried because there is a sandstorm blowing up outside.  Doggedly, Rey presses onward through the maze of crumbling corridors that all look alike.  She rounds a corner and stumbles onto Luke Skywalker.  Light meets Light amid confusion and darkness.  What is the Jedi doing here?  He knows the way out, his uncle promises, but Rey doesn't believe him.  So she moves on._

_And now she finds a Sith.  Kylo Ren stands on the bridge of the wreck facing away with his hands clasped behind him.  He's in his uniform but without his mask.  “Kylo!” she calls his name and he whirls at her approach.  Rey rushes headlong into his arms but his embrace does not comfort.  Light meets Dark and they are in conflict.  Rey is held fast by one black gloved hand as he uses the other to land a hard blow that sends Rey to her knees.  She's frozen with fear as she looks up to see him raising his right hand and summoning his power.  Is he going to hit her again or invade her mind?   Rey isn't sure._

 

_Rey!  Wake up!   Wake up!_   He doesn't want this vivid nightmare to continue.  But he cannot rouse her.

 

_She scrambles to her feet and begins running fast away from him.  Kylo chases her, finally catching up when she is poised to dash outside.  She hesitates because the sandstorm has arrived.  Wait!  Wait!  Rey takes one last glance over her shoulder at him before she runs headlong into the storm.  Preferring to take her chances in the desert to her chances with him._

_It is a bad decision.  Rey screams out from the sharp stinging debris that buffets her body.  With each breath, she gasps in more sand.  It stings her eyes, fills her lungs, and clogs her ears.  She only has the Force left to guide her as she blindly trudges towards her AT-AT home._

_Rey!  Wake up!   Wake up!_   But again, he cannot rouse her. 

 

_Home.  She wants to go home.  She has only ever wanted to go home . . .   Rey sinks to her knees and then curls into a ball, making herself small in hopes it will protect her.  She sinks lower into the shifting, blowing sands.  Becoming one with the desert she both loves and fears._

* * *

 

 

Rey wakes screaming aloud in a heavy sweat.  Her heart is pounding. 

 

"Princess!  Princess!"  A thickly accented woman's voice says her name. 

 

Rey opens her eyes to find a Twi'lek woman leaning over her looking concerned.  She is a stranger to Rey who recoils from her touch and rolls away across the bed.  Rey leaps to her feet and they stand facing one another with the bed between them.   Instantly, Rey is ready to fight if flight isn’t an option.

 

“Who are you?” Rey demands shakily.  Her mind is still adjusting to the abrupt awakening.  She’s back in her bedroom in Snoke’s bunker.  Facing a strange Twi'lek woman who wears an expensive nightgown the same as Rey.  But that's where the similarities end.  The woman's attire is clearly intended for allure rather than practicality.  It's a sheer silvery grey gown that does very little to obscure the blue skinned very plump figure beneath.   Just glancing at her gives Rey an eyeful she would rather not see.  Yes, it’s clear that Snoke does not like skinny women.

 

"You had a nightmare, Princess," the woman explains, her hands upraised in a gesture to show she means no harm.  "I thought it best to wake you.  You were in distress."

 

"Oh."  Nightmare.  Yes . . . she had been having a nightmare.  A nightmare about Jakku and Skywalkers.

 

"You are okay?" the woman asks, still looking concerned.  “You are alright now?”

 

"Yes.  Thank you," Rey replies as she unconsciously hugs her arms around her.  The details of the dream have faded but the sense of helpless terror still clings to her mind.   Her head feels so strange.

 

"Thank the Master,” the Twi-lek tells her.  “He sent me."

 

Snoke sent her?  Now Rey is doubly embarrassed.  "I am sorry if I woke you and the Master.  Or . .  uh . . . “  Rey reddens as an alternative scenario occurs to her.  “If I disturbed you . . . "

 

"The Master does not sleep, Princess.  He studies at night."

 

Really?   "Yes, of course.  I . . . uh . . . forgot."

 

"I am called Noor.  We almost met once.  The day you opened the door."

 

"Yes."  Rey remembers stumbling upon the pair of Twi'lek women in Snoke’s bedchamber.  They had put her in mind of a Hutt's dancing girls.  Snoke likes to brag about his love of women, so Rey ought not be surprised that he keeps his own harem.   She’s Rey of Jakku and she’s seen all sorts of ugly things, but some small part of her is still a bit shocked.

 

"Gemma, the girl you saw with me that day, is gone now.  Charmis took her place last month."

 

"What happened to Gemma?"  As soon as the words come out, Rey regrets them.  Because she really doesn't want to know if Snoke kills his slave girls or passes them along to one of his generals as spoils of war.  And if that's indeed the case, then it seems awfully insensitive of her to remind this woman of her fate. 

 

"The Master frees girls when he tires of them.  He gives them credits and sends them to the world they choose.  He is a very generous Master, Princess."

 

"Oh."

 

Noor speaks of the matter with cool acceptance.  "He keeps two of us usually.  He is a man of . . . shall we say . . . large appetites.  One girl is not sufficient."

 

Oh.  That’s information Rey did not need to know.  "How long have you been here?"

 

"Almost a year.  He will probably free me soon.  He already chooses Charmis most nights."   The woman shrugs.  "I am no longer the favorite."

 

Rey doesn't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.  "Where will you go?" she asks, suddenly curious as to the future of this woman. 

 

"Back to my home world Ryloth.  I was enslaved as a child many years ago.  It has always been my dream to go home."

 

"I hope you make it home," Rey tells her sincerely.  For Rey knows what it means to want to go home.  But unlike Snoke's Twi'lek slave girls, this princess will never be free to decide her own fate.  At least, not while there is a war going on and Luke Skywalker is alive.

 

"You are so lucky, Princess,” Noor smiles across at her.  “You get to stay here.   Good night.  Sweeter dreams next time, Princess."

 

"Thank you," Rey replies because she really has no idea what else to say.  It's only when the woman is gone that Rey realizes Kylo is lurking in her mind.   

 

_Rey._

He says her name and she practically jumps out of her skin.  _Kylo?_    _What are you doing?_   And how long has he been there?  Rey is starting to panic because this Force eavesdropping feels so intrusive.

 

_I am following our Master’s orders to contact you._

 

_Go away!  I don’t want to talk to you._   Rey is still angry with Kylo for his dismissive attitude at Snoke’s dinner.   She hadn’t wanted to be there in the first place and Snoke had kept pressing her to express opinions when she felt way out of her league.  And all the while Kylo had sat across from her giving her smirking, condescending looks. 

 

_I was too harsh at dinner._ He’s in her mind and so, of course, he knows her thoughts.  But it works both ways because she knows his thoughts too.  And that’s how Rey learns that Kylo Ren had been dreading his Master’s strategy dinner as much as General Hux had been.   Because Kylo Ren had been the one on the defensive whose warfare was put up for public scrutiny.    He knows that Snoke is frustrated with his lack of progress and this dinner was further proof of that fact.  _I am sorry if I was harsh.  I didn’t want to be there either._

This is not the greatest apology, but it’s pretty much the only apology she has ever gotten out of Kylo Ren.  It’s something at least.  There is so much conflict between them now, Rey thinks.  It makes her sad that things have become so tense.

 

_I wish things were different too.  I miss you, Rey._

Oh, drat!  This mental connection is a very tricky thing, she realizes.  Rey is not used to hiding her innermost thoughts. 

 

_Don’t hide from me, Rey.  You are already so distant from me._

_Kylo, go away!_   She's not in the mood for this right now.  Rattled from her nightmare and turned off by the oversharing of that poor slave woman who Rey is strangely envious of.  Snoke will grant his slave more freedom than his so-called princess ever expects to get. 

 

_Do you have nightmares a lot, Rey?_   And now Rey hears the subtext in his mind.  Do you dream of me? Are all your nightmares of me?  Are you truly afraid of me?  I hate that you fear me . . .   And now Kylo is the one oversharing. 

 

Clueless novice Rey again forgets that it’s a two-way street and she’s betraying just as much and more.   Like the fact that her heart skips a beat each time she sees Kylo and it’s a jolt of excitement mixed with a little fear.  She’s not afraid of him so much as she is afraid of his effect on her.  Because part of Rey still cares a great deal.  Against her better judgement, she still cares for Kylo Ren.  Because Rey is not faithless like he claims.  She’s actually a very loyal girl.  Loyal enough to still care for a man who mistreated her.

 

_I care too--_

That’s a lie to Rey’s ears.  _Kylo, this is over.   We are over._   It doesn’t matter how wonderful she once thought Kylo was.  That is the past.   There can be no happiness with him or any other Skywalker, she knows.  Snoke had basically said so himself.  There are no happy endings in this family . . .

 

_Why?  Why are we over?_

 

_Because you hit me and hurt me and basically attacked me on your shuttle before you turned me over to Snoke to murder me._    _I'm not forgiving that!_   Rey has never received an apology for any of that.  She scowls as she shouts at Kylo in her mind. _When people care about you, they don't hurt you!_

 

With their minds joined, Rey senses Kylo’s befuddled reaction to her anger.  Because what’s the big deal?  Everyone who has ever cared for him has hurt him.  From his parents' neglect, to his uncle's criticism, to Snoke's years of Sith training.  Love and pain go hand and hand for Kylo Ren.  ‘I’m doing this because I love you’ was what his mother had said before she sent him away to the Jedi Academy he hated.  ‘One day you will thank me for teaching you discipline’ was what his Master had said the first time Kylo had felt his lightning.  ‘I’m saving you from yourself’ is what Luke Skywalker had said as he had activated his lightsaber and advanced on teenaged Ben Solo. 

 

_You’re so fucked up, Kylo.  Get out of my head!_

 

_I can't do that.  I follow my Master's orders._

_In everything?_

_Yes._

_Why?_

_Because he is my Master.   And because the Supreme Leader is wise.   I wish I were there with you now.  I would hold you, Rey._   Again, the image of Rey in the _Finalizer_ rushing up into his arms flashes into Kylo’s mind.  Kylo really likes that memory. This isn’t the first time she has seen it in his stream of consciousness.

 

Hours after that embrace, they had been in bed together, she remembers.  And that thought triggers Rey’s skepticism.  He’d be holding her?  Bullshit.  You'd be trying to get me into bed, she thinks. 

 

But he hears her thoughts.  _I miss you in bed, Rey.  You were amazing in bed, Rey._   And now she gets a glimpse into his memories of her beneath him, head thrown back and eyes closed as she grunts softly with his every thrust.  She looks wanton in his mind.  Submissive and eager for her Sith.  Moaning his name with her legs spread wide.  Virgin Rey is desperate to please and be pleased as this older, far more experienced Sith initiates her into the pleasures of the flesh.  But it’s a newfound sensation for him too, for Kylo is utterly undone as he feels for the first time her climax in the Force.  

 

These are uncomfortable memories for Rey.  _Go away!   Go buy yourself some Hutt slave girls like Snoke has._    Rey not the same trusting girl from the _Finalizer_.  That was before she knew the story of her family secreting her away on Jakku for fear of Kylo Ren, before the sad and horrifying stories Luke Skywalker had told of his fallen nephew, before the violent aftermath of being found at the Resistance by an angry Sith.   The ugly truth of Kylo Ren has stripped Rey of her girlish hero worship.

 

_The only girl I want is you, Rey._

_Move on, Kylo.  We're over._   You get to conquer the galaxy while I'm stuck here playing princess with Snoke indefinitely. 

 

_Rey, you are my destiny.  Don’t you see?  Snoke is keeping you safe for me._ Kylo is thinking of her wistfully now.  She is on his star destroyer looking up at him with bright eyes.   She greets him on Jakku outside her AT-AT with a wide smile.   He is still so hung up on her, the unexpected girl who had captivated him.  She’s out of his reach now and it’s all his fault.  And every time they run into one another, things get worse and worse.   But he trusts in the Force and what the Force brings together, no one can put asunder.  And he’s a Skywalker, so the Force is with him.

 

_Rey--_

 

_Go away, Kylo._

There is a long pause before she hears his dejected response.  _You win._   _For today, you win._   _Goodnight, Rey._

 

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

When she walks into the infirmary, all Rey can think is that Army looks terrible for day three.  He is awake and alert and those are good signs.  But he usually looks better by now.   He looks more like day two than day three, she thinks.  Her friend is bouncing back slower and slower each time, Rey realizes.  The months of torture have taken their toll.  Bacta can only do so much.

 

“What?” Army demands, reading her concerned expression.  His testy tone and absence of a greeting tell her volumes about his pain level.  Today is not a good day. 

 

“Hello, Army,” she says softly.  Rey doesn’t bother asking how he feels.  She can sense his discomfort in the Force.  It is tinged with despair today and that worries her more than anything.  Rey reaches to brush back a lock of hair from his sweaty forehead.   Then she presses her hand to his damp cheek.  It’s the closest she can get to a hug in this semi-public setting. 

 

Gods, Army looks bad today.

 

She sinks into the bedside chair and grabs for the datapad.  The general never feels like talking when his pain is at its peak, so these are the days Rey reads aloud the most.  She starts punching away at the datapad.  "That Commandant guy keeps sending more messages," she comments offhand. 

 

"Ignore them.  Better yet, delete them.”

 

Rey looks down at the message title captions.  These are not the usual daily war dispatch updates and the few 'Hang in there, Army' well wishes from friends.  These messages are entitled things like 'Upcoming Private Audience with the Leader' and 'Phasma is Far More Culpable than You.' 

 

"Who is this guy?” Rey wonders aloud.  “He sure is persistent."

 

"You have no idea.   The man is overbearing."   And that's saying something coming from overbearing General Hux himself.

 

Intrigued, Rey looks up.  "So who is he?"

 

Army makes a face.  "He's my father."

 

"Your father??"  Rey had not been expecting that answer. "Oh.  Well, then you had better respond, right?"

 

"No."  His answer is firm.

 

"But Army--"

 

"He knows what’s going on.  There is no need to reply.  He is very high placed and well connected.   There is nothing I can tell him that he doesn't already know."  Rey must look confused because Army now explains, "Rey, my father was one of the founding members of the First Order.  He oversees all First Order military training from senior officers down to stormtroopers.  All the men in this garrison were groomed under his command."

 

"Oh."   So that explains the message about an audience with Leader Snoke.

 

This topic is upsetting Army, she can tell.  He looks away, dejected.  "I was raised to do one thing--to fight to rebuild the Empire.  My father believes in victory through strength and discipline.  Defeat . . . defeat is for the weak.  And the weak only get what they deserve."

 

Yikes, thinks Rey.  "He sounds tough."

 

"He is."

 

"And you don't think you should--"

 

"No.  Do not respond, Rey.  It will only encourage him."

 

"But he's your--"

 

"Drop it, Rey."   And she does.

 

So far, neither of them has mentioned that awful dinner with Snoke a few nights ago or the kiss that preceded it.  Rey is glad for that.  She still isn't sure how she feels about any of it.   Her life seems very confusing now.  Wanting to avoid any more awkward conversation, Rey picks up the datapad and begins reading aloud from their new book, a military history of Mandalore.  Rey is reading about the Mandalorian warrior culture when Army’s twitching hands catch her attention.  The fried nerve endings are making his muscles spasm.  Rey watches a moment in sympathy and then puts the datapad down.

 

“Do you ever think about escaping?” she whispers.

 

“Escaping?”   Army says this far too loudly.  His tone and demeanor are one of indignant reproach.  “I am a general of the First Order.  I do not run from my command responsibilities.” 

 

“Even if it’s torture?” she complains softly.

 

His ice blue eyes find hers.  “I am not a deserter,” he declares coldly.  Proud Armitage Hux will be loyal to the end.  “Besides, where would I go?”  

 

“Anywhere.” 

 

“And live in dishonor?”

 

“You would live.” 

 

He shoots Rey a disdainful look.   But being the tactician he is, Army plays out the scenario.  “The Order has a long reach.  It would be difficult to hide.  And what kind of life would that be?   I was raised to do one thing, Rey.  I am not a farmer or a tech or some middle manager.  I am general.  I fight.” 

 

Rey nods and then says the unthinkable.  “You could still fight.  For the Resistance.”

 

“What??”  Army gapes at her in offended disbelief.  “You want me to turn traitor?  To fight against everything I believe in?   Who do you think I am?  Careful, Rey.  Be very careful, Rey.”  

 

“It might keep you safe from Snoke.”    

 

He scoffs at this.  "The Resistance would probably shoot me on sight.  And if they didn't, I would only be safe for a time.   The First Order is going to win this war.  I hope to live to see our victory.   To be a part of it.”  Army shakes his head and squints his eyes at her.  “How dare you even suggest this to me.   Is Ren right that you are faithless?  Have you no loyalty?  Is there nothing you hold dear?”

 

“I care about people, not ideals,” Rey says defensively.  Maybe a military commander like Army is trained not to care about people since war kills people.  But Rey sees things differently.  Stepping over dead bodies in shipwrecks on Jakku had taught her to value life.  Scavenging and starving in the desert on Jakku had taught her to value life.  Because when you struggle as hard as Rey has to survive, you value few things more than life itself.   Possessions can be replaced, politics can change, but life is precious and fleeting.  It should be preserved at all costs.  Even if it means sacrificing ideals.

 

“Army, if we could get you onto the landing pad, you could steal a shuttle—“ 

 

“I'd never make it past the shield gate.  I'd be shot down before I’d even break the atmosphere.  The Order can scramble two wings of TIEs on a minute's notice to defend this bunker.  A clumsy transport shuttle would be too slow and outgunned.” 

 

“Then steal Ren's shuttle,” she urges softly.  “Kylo is here once a week.”

 

Army shakes his head.  “It would never work.  I'm not much of a pilot.  I'm the brains of the operation, not the brawn.”  This comment reminds Rey of Kylo's cracks about Army being a textbook general.  Clearly, the young commander is not a man who gets his hands dirty.  

 

“They might shoot to disable and not destroy,” she suggests hopefully.  “Don’t forget that the Leader wants you alive.  Army, he values your—“  

 

“The moment Leader Snoke suspects I am disloyal, he will no longer want my advice.  And my advice is what's keeping me alive.”  Army openly scowls at Rey now.  “This is a ridiculous conversation anyway.  I will not flee.  And I am no traitor.  I cannot believe you have even suggested this.”  He eyes her with clear censure.  “Rey, you disappoint me.” 

 

She nods because Army’s reaction is much as she had expected.  Still, it was worth a try.  And now, Rey feels compelled to explain herself.  “I don't want you to die, Army.  I don't want to see you hurt anymore.” 

 

“I am a general of the First Order.  It’s death before dishonor,” he proclaims proudly. 

 

Not for me, Rey thinks.  Never for me.  Rey of Jakku will always choose to live in disgrace rather than to die with honor.  Because when you are raised mostly feral in the Jakku desert, you don’t trust people easily.  And you certainly don’t believe in abstract ideas like honor.   You believe in yourself and you take care of yourself. 

 

“I might do it . . . I think a lot about doing it . . . “ she says haltingly.

 

Army blinks at this.  “You would escape?  Why?  No one is hurting you.  You are safe and well cared for.”

 

What he says is true and it’s what’s keeping Rey from taking action.  She nods and meets his eyes.  “I know.  But if I do end up leaving, Army, I want you to come with me.  I won't leave you here to die.”

 

"What aren’t you telling me?” he complains now.  “There is more to this, I know it.  I was at that dinner, remember?  There is a lot you haven't told me."  Army eyes her suspiciously now. 

 

Rey shifts in her seat.  She was hoping not to discuss that dinner.  “You know my story.  Luke Skywalker found me on Jakku and brought me to the Resistance.  Kylo Ren found me there and brought me to Snoke.  It's all because I have the Force.  I’m stuck here because I have the Force," she laments glumly.

 

"And because you are Emperor Palpatine's heiress."   General Hux gives her a knowing look. 

 

Rey’s eyes narrow at this reveal.  “Who told you that?”

 

“Ren told us all.  Is it true?”

 

Rey nods.  "Sheev Palpatine was my great-grandfather.   The Emperor was Snoke's Apprentice years ago."

 

"So your connection to the Emperor is why Leader Snoke calls you a Sith princess?"

 

"Yes."

 

Army digests this information and then starts asking more questions.  "How did the Jedi find you first?  If you are the heir to the Imperial family, then why weren’t you with the First Order all along?"

 

Rey sticks to the facts.  "The Emperor had a secret Jedi daughter.  She was my grandmother.  She survived Vader’s purge and lived in hiding with a daughter of her own.  That daughter was my mother.  When I was a small child my grandmother and my parents brought me to Luke Skywalker because I have the Force.  Skywalker knew I existed even though I didn't remember him.  When he came back from exile, he went looking for me because all his other students were gone.  He wanted to teach me the ways of the Force.  To make me a Jedi."

 

"Did you mean what you said that night--that you don't support the First Order?"  Again, Army is looking at her very closely. 

 

"Army, I just want to stay out of this war."

 

"Answer the question.  You cannot be neutral in this conflict."

 

"Why not?"

 

Her comment sets him off. "Have you no convictions, Rey?   Don't you know right from wrong?"  This is the rhetorical General Hux from the roundtable holonet news shows.  Asking leading questions and ready to bully naysayers into submission. 

 

Rey refuses to be drawn into the verbal spar he's looking for.  "I want there to be peace."

 

"At what cost?  Peace but disorder?  Peace but corruption?  Inefficiency?   Moral decay?  Would you compromise your values for peace?"  Hux sounds like he's just warming up.  Like he's about to launch into a diatribe about the loathsome Resistance.  Torture or no torture, Armitage Hux is still a true believer in the First Order.  

 

And that's something Rey can't relate to.  No ideals are worth genocide, in her opinion.  "Those are your values, Army, not mine."

 

"You have a power I don't understand and could never have.  But it matters.  I know that it matters--"   He looks at her with hurt and disapproving eyes.  "You sit here urging me to escape and to fight for the Resistance.  Are you my enemy, Rey?"

 

Is she?  For an awful moment, Rey wonders.  Then decides. "No!  I just don't want to fight in this war.  Or any other war.  The Force has torn the galaxy apart.  It tore my family apart.  Nothing is worth that."

 

And now, the conversation gets worse because Army keeps asking more uncomfortable questions.  "What about Ren?   What's his angle in all of this?  Are you his rival?  What was all that weird tension between you at dinner?”

 

Rey looks away and takes refuge in vague truths.  "Kylo and I don't get along."  She doesn't want to discuss Kylo with Army or with anyone.  It's too confusing and uncomfortable.  "He pretty much hates me."

 

"Yes.  We all noticed.  Why?"

 

"Kylo brought me here for Snoke to kill.  I wasn't happy."

 

"And then what happened?"

 

"I grabbed Kylo’s sword and dented his helmet."

 

Army's eye widen.  "Did you really?"  Suddenly, he's grinning proudly at her. 

 

Rey is a little sheepish now. "Yeah.  Yeah, I did.  And it was a big dent."

 

And now General Hux is giving her his pale blue stare that makes her want to squirm.  When Army wants to, he can be tough as nails.  And he is very perceptive when he’s not drugged up on pain meds.  "Ren was the guy, wasn't he?   He was the guy you said you let down.  The guy who beat you."

 

Rey looks down and flushes.

 

“Well?”

 

"Yes."

 

"Oh, Rey," Army breathes out.  He's as disappointed and disapproving now as he was when she was urging him to escape.  "Ren is a brute.  He's an animal.  Half-insane.   How did you get mixed up with him??"  Hux's face tells it all:  What the fuck were you thinking? 

 

"It's a long story . . . "

 

"But you were together?  Like together together?  A couple??"

 

Were they were a couple?  Kylo had wanted them to be a couple.  She had hoped that they would be a couple.  But three days together on the _Finalizer_ didn't really make them a couple.  Kylo and Snoke might believe that the Force brought them together, but all that matters is that the war has torn them apart.  "We were nothing," Rey decides.

 

"And what are you now?" Army demands.

 

Rey shoots him a look. "You saw what we are.  We are nothing.  It's over.  It was a mistake.  I have put him behind me, Army.  I don't like talking about him."

 

The general doesn't take the hint. "Were you ever going to tell me about Ren?”

 

“No.”  Rey is honest.

 

That answer angers Army.  He’s on offense now.  “Did you sleep with him?” he demands.

 

“Army!”

 

“Well, did you?”  Rey feels her face flaming and Army looks truly angry now.  “I’ll take that as a yes,” he snaps.  “Did you love him?  Do you love him?"

 

What??  "Love him?" she echoes. "No!"   But I might have, Rey thinks to herself.  If it weren't for this war, for Luke Skywalker and for Snoke.  If it weren't for the Force and the Jedi and the Sith.  But those are the realities of the situation.  And Rey of Jakku is a realist about life. 

 

And it's that unfortunate moment when Kylo chooses to contact her via the Force.

 

_Rey._

 

"Go away, Kylo." She speaks the words aloud without thinking.  “Not now, Kylo.”  Please, not now.

 

_You're upset._

 

"Rey?" Army is looking at her very strangely. 

 

"Go away, Kylo!  Get out my head!"  Again, she speaks aloud out of habit.

 

"What's going on?" Army demands.

 

_Are you with Hux?_

 

"Yes."

 

_Tell him to go fuck himself.  Next time, I'm there I'm going to fry him with lightning myself._   Kylo's mind is open to her so Rey senses his seething anger at Hux's blunt criticism of his war strategy.  These two men hate one another, Rey sees now.   The confrontations in the hallway and at Snoke’s dinner party are just the latest in a long list of conflicts, she suspects.

 

"Go away, Kylo!" Rey growls. "This is not a good time."  This is a horrible time, actually.

 

_Why do you hang out with that loser?  Hux is a dead man walking, Rey_.

 

Rey has her hands to her temples and she's hunched over.  It's alarming Hux.  "Is he hurting you?  Tell him to stop hurting you!"

 

"Army, it's fine.  It’s the Force.  It feels weird,” Rey pants out.  “Kylo is just annoying me, that’s all." 

 

_Oh, so I'm annoying now?  I'm following our Master's orders, Rey.  You would be wise to do the same._

 

“Is he stalking you with the Force?”  Army sits up in bed now.  "He doesn't get to treat you like this--" 

 

And now, Rey wishes she had never come by the infirmary this morning.  All she has managed to do is embarrass herself and upset the already frazzled general who is in acute pain.   That was never her intention.  In frustration, Rey groans out the worst Hutt curse she knows. 

 

"Rey!"  Hux is genuinely shocked.   More shocked than when she had suggested that he escape.  More shocked than when she had confessed to her past with Kylo. 

 

Kylo for his part is impressed.  _That's my scavenger girl_.   _I love it when you talk dirty, Rey._

 

"Where did you learn that word?" Army blinks.

 

She shoots him an apologetic look and tries to explain, "On Jakku.  Army, you know I'm not really a princess."

 

"Yes, you are." _Yes, you are._ Both men object in unison.

 

_I know who you really are, Rey.  I have seen where you are from and what you have lived through.  Hux thinks you are a pretty face in a pretty dress.   He doesn't know you like I know you.  He doesn’t know what it means to be the Jakku princess, Rey of the Desert.  Fierce and strong and full of the Force . . ._

 

"Are you jealous?"  The words come right out her mouth because when Kylo is in her brain Rey keeps losing track of what she thinks and what she speaks.  But yes, he's jealous.  She definitely thinks that Kylo is jealous. 

 

_Hell no.  I'm just competitive.  I'm a Sith._  

 

But, yes, he is jealous, Rey sees it in his mind.  The memory of Rey pulling his sword on him to protect Hux flashes up to Kylo’s mind.  How Kylo wishes he had kicked Hux that day. Hard. Because he’s damned jealous that Rey spends so much time with the invalid General Hux.

 

"That's not helping, Kylo,” Rey complains.

 

"Leave her alone, Ren."  Army is talking to the air, confused about whether his words are being communicated to Kylo.   And they are, just indirectly through Rey’s mind.

 

_Rey, I'll be there in two hours.  Agree to meet me and I'll let you get back to pitying Hux.  He is pitiful.  Still an asshole.  But pitiful._

 

"Kylo--"

 

_Say you'll see me.  I just want to talk._

 

"Are you going to insult me again?"

 

_No._

 

"Are you going to hit me again?"

 

_No.   Never again._

 

"If he hits you, I'm killing him!"  Hux growls gallantly. 

 

_Tell Hux to fuck off._   _He couldn’t hurt a fly these days._

 

"He split your lip, didn’t he?" Rey goads.

 

_I’ll split his fucking red head with my sword._

 

“Just stop, Kylo.  Go away.”

_Say you'll see me and I'll stop._

 

"Fine."

 

_Fine._

And then, the connection is gone.  Rey opens her eyes to find Army staring at her.   He looks both scared and concerned.  “I’ve seen Ren get in people’s heads before.  It looks painful.”

 

“This isn’t painful,” she sighs.  “It’s not painful unless you resist.”  Rey remembers how hard it had hurt when she had resisted.  But Kylo hadn’t been looking into her present mental state then.  He had been dredging up memories.    Maybe that hurts more.  Who knows?   Rey never wants to find out again.

 

“It's Ren isn't it?” Army guesses.  “He's why you want to escape here.”

 

“Partly,” she admits with a sigh.  And it’s not so much Kylo as it is his war.  Rey would dearly love to get away from the First Order, the Sith and their war.

 

“Where are you going to go that Ren can't find your mind, Rey?”  Army gets right to the crux of the matter.  “Fleeing here is a stupid strategy.  You will only get yourself killed.  You are Snoke's adopted daughter and a princess of the First Order.  You have too much to lose by being foolhardy.”

 

“I know.”  Army is right and she knows it.  It’s why Rey hasn’t attempted to escape already.  

 

“So what’s the other reason you want to leave?”  When Rey hesitates, Army again gets right to the point.  “This is about me, isn't it?”

 

“Yes,” she confesses softly.

 

“You would risk this for me?”   Even though he is angry with her, Armitage Hux is touched.   Truly touched.

 

Rey looks down, suddenly embarrassed by the vulnerability of this proud man.  She hates how he has been treated.  “It was just a thought,” she backtracks. 

 

“Do not risk this for me,” Army rasps.  “I would never let you risk yourself for me.”

 

“It was just a thought.”  

 

“I'm not worth it, Rey,” Army tells her miserably.   “And besides, the Commandant would shoot me himself if I deserted.”  The humbled general looks her in the eye now.  “Better to die here in defeat than to further disgrace my father and the First Order.”

 

“It was just a thought . . . “

 

“You should leave now, Rey.”  General Hux looks away.  “I think I want to be alone.”

 

“You’re angry with me—“ Rey accuses.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you’re not who I thought you were, Rey.”  Army thinks a moment and then amends his statement under his breath.  “Or maybe you’re not who I want you to be.”

 

“Oh, Army.”  The stress of last night and this morning has gotten to Rey and now she starts to cry.  She had never meant to hurt this man who is already so wounded.  But today she has added to his troubles instead of cheering him up.  “I’m sorry, Army.  I’m so sorry,” she mumbles as she abruptly stands and rushes away. 

 

Tears obscure her vision and she furiously brushes them away.  But they keep leaking out because she is truly so sorry.  Sorry that Army is stuck in this cycle of torture and pain and probably going to die.  Sorry that Army is so alone and hopeless and afraid to face his own father.  Sorry that she’s not the high minded First Order princess on a pedestal that he wants her to be.   Sorry that there doesn’t seem to be a way out of this situation for either her or Army.   

 

Rey is darting fast down the hallway, head down and hands raised to obscure her tears when she rounds a corner and runs smack into a solid, muscled chest. 

 

“Oof!” she gasps as they collide and the man reaches to steady her.  She stares into the familiar black surcoat of a Knight of Ren.  “K-Kylo?”  Rey lifts her head.  No, this isn’t Kylo.  It’s his friend.  The giant muscle bound man who is a good five inches shorter than Kylo but equally as intimidating.  What’s his name?  Rey never remembers this guy’s name.  Probably because the few times she has met him, there has always been drama with Kylo and Rey hadn’t focused on anything else.

 

“Princess, are you okay?”

 

“I-I-I’m f-fine,” she manages through trembling lips with a sniff added at the end.  She’s not fine and they both know it.  She’s teetering on the verge of an ugly cry. 

 

“He’ll be here soon,” Nestor Ren tells her sotto voce.  “Did something happen?”

 

“No . . . no . . . it’s just A-Army . . . poor Army . . . “ she babbles between teary hiccups. 

 

Nestor Ren’s eyes widen appreciably.  “The Leader didn’t---Hux isn’t---he’s alive, right?”

 

“Yes,” she nods as she wipes at her eyes.  “He’s alive.  For now.”

 

“Good.  We need that guy.”  The Second Knight thinks for a moment before he leans in again to speak under his breath.  “My lady, ask Kylo for help.  Kylo Ren is the only man with influence enough to help Hux.”

 

“But they hate each other,” Rey wails softly.

 

“True.”

 

“Then w-why would Kylo help him?”  Rey isn’t following.

 

Nestor looks her in the eye.  “Because you are the one asking.”  The big man looms over her as he counsels, “Go fix your face, put on your best dress and get ready to beg, Princess.”

 

“What?”

 

“If you want to help Hux, you need to charm Kylo.”


	26. Chapter 26

His schedule is clear now.  The weekly report is over, the new Knight who replaced Dax has been formally introduced to the Leader, and the contentious strategy session with Hux and the other ground assault generals is over.  Now, Kylo can turn his attention to Rey.  But, like every other meeting he has these days, it too requires a pre-meeting.  And so, Nestor is briefing him beforehand while the curious new new guy listens in. 

 

“I set you up perfectly, Boss,” Nestor brags as the trio strides down the hallway.  The sight of three uniformed Knights of Ren shoulder to shoulder draws glances from the regular military grunts, Kylo notes.  As it should.  They are the elite fighting men of the Order, not analysts and armchair officers like the rest of this crowd.  “All you have to do is not screw it up.”

 

“She's coming to ask me to help Hux and you think that's setting me up perfectly?” Kylo gives his second in command a pained look. 

 

“Yep,” the beefy blonde knight nods.   “This way, you get to be the magnanimous hero.  Let her beg and plead first though.   Don’t make it easy on her.”  Nestor grins.  Then he thinks a moment and reconsiders.  “But don’t make it too hard either.  Don’t be an asshole.  Just play it manly cool and a little aloof.”

 

“What the fuck have you done, Nestor?” Kylo complains.  “Rey is going to grab for my sword and threaten me until I cooperate.”  She’s done that twice already, Kylo recalls.  “There won’t be any begging and pleading from her.”

 

“Who is this girl?” The newest new guy is intrigued.  But they ignore him.

 

“Nah.”  Nestor shakes his head.  “She was all sloppy tears earlier.  I felt bad.  She was really distraught.” 

 

“Yeah—distraught for him!  Are you forgetting that Hux jumped me in the hallway a few weeks ago?  I wish I could kill that guy.”

 

“Awww, you were fine.   And Grandpa thought it was hilarious.   Besides, we need Hux.  Seriously, Kylo.  Army Hux is a pain in the ass, but he's the best at what he does.” 

 

Kylo’s eyes narrow.  “Are you saying my Mid Rim strategy was wrong?”  He’s a little sensitive about the whole Mid Rim thing.

 

Nestor, of course, knows this.  “No, I'm saying that the new joint strategy you and Hux proposed is faster.  And faster makes Grandpa happy.   It's also the reason to give Snoke to ease up on Hux.  Because we need his help and we can't have Hux out of commission in a bacta tank every seven days when we need him on a com call.  At today’s meeting, that guy looked half dead.”

 

“I can't believe you put me in this position,” Kylo grouses.    

 

“What?” Nestor is unrepentant.  “It's for the good of the galaxy, Kylo.  Well, really, it's a triple win.  Hux wins, you score points with your princess, and the First Order gets its best general back.”  His friend gives him a serious look.  “Hey, don’t pretend that you didn’t need an excuse to get on her good side.  Boss, I saw how bad things were the last time you met and I heard about that dinner.   Seems like every time you see her, the sword comes out.”

 

Kylo can’t refute that logic, but still he complains, “But she's going to be crying over some other guy . . .”  And it’s that fucker Hux of all guys.   After an hour listening to Hux lecture him on the proper battle placement of AT-ATs, Kylo isn’t in the mood to hear Rey advocate on his behalf.

 

“Who is this girl?” the latest new guy asks again.  Kylo can’t remember his name.  He never bothers to learn the new guys’ names until they live at least a month.

 

“She’s the Leader’s daughter,” Nestor responds.  “And she’s Princess Renata to you.”

 

“I’ve never seen a Muun girl—are they hot?” the clueless kid asks.  Then he thinks a moment.  “Wait—is she seven feet tall or something?  Tell me she’s prettier than the Leader.”

 

“She’s the Leader’s adopted daughter,” Nestor amends his prior statement.  “She’s human.”  He turns back to Kylo.  "Stop complaining.  I made it easy for you.  All you have to do is present yourself for some seduction and play along.  Pretend like you’re in the Coruscant clubs.  The girls fall at your feet at Coruscant even when they don’t know who you are."

 

“Hey, how soon do we get to go to Coruscant?” the most junior knight pipes up again.  “Because the stories of those parties were legendary around base.”

 

Now Nestor turns to glare at the latest new guy.  "Listen, what happens in Coruscant stays in Coruscant.  It’s Knight Code.  Seriously, kid, some of us are married."  He glares again for good measure, then adds, "And that goes for the castle too.  What happens at Vader's castle stays at Vader's castle."

 

And now, Kylo finally deigns to give the new recruit his attention.  He warns, "Nestor will kick your ass if his wife finds out he likes lap dances from Rodian girls.  That intel is as top secret as the location of this bunker."

 

“Rodian chics?  Really?”   The kid is impressed by this exoticism.

 

“What??” Nestor is part defensive, part sheepish.  “So I like’em green once in a while.  What can I say?  I had a Rodian nanny growing up.”

 

“Don’t tell me anymore,” groans Kylo.  “I don’t want to know about your mommy issues, Nestor.”

 

His Second Knight laughs and gives Kylo the knowing look of a longtime friend and confidante. “When it comes to mommy issues, you win, Kylo.  Hands down, you win.”

 

“What does that mean?” the kid asks suspiciously.

 

“Nothing,” he and Nestor reply in unison. 

 

“So where are you meeting her?”

 

“I don’t know.  Hold on.”  _Rey_?  _Rey, are you around?_  

 

_Kylo?_

_Is now a good time?_

 

_O-Okay.  I’m downstairs._

_Copy that.  Be there in five._

“She’s downstairs.  I told her I’d be there in five minutes.”  And that means he has to cool his heels for a good ten minutes.  He can’t look too eager after all.   He’s Kylo Ren and he’s a busy, important man.

 

“How did you know where she was?” the kid asks.

 

“The Force,” Nestor informs him. 

 

“Oh, okay.  Whatever.”  Kylo can’t help but notice that his newest knight looks less than impressed.  So Kylo concentrates a moment and the annoying new guy begins to levitate off the ground.  Kylo holds him aloft, upside down, until he and Nestor finish their conversation.   Nestor is as unfazed as always.  Plus, he’s seen this trick before. 

 

“Remember, I set you up perfectly.  All you have to do is not screw it up.  That means don’t be an asshole, Boss.  And . . .”

 

“And what?”

 

Nestor gives him a stern look.  “You should probably apologize, if you haven’t already.”

 

“She’s pulled a weapon on me twice and I don’t hear her apologizing,” Kylo grumbles.

 

“You smacked her pretty hard—“

 

“She was the enemy at the Resistance!” he snaps.  He’s still mad about that day.  But then again, so apparently is Rey.

 

“Just hear me out.  A little bit of ‘I’m sorry’ goes a long way with women.  Trust me, I’ve been married for years now.  ‘I’m sorry’ gets you back in bed and off the couch.”  Nestor slants him a look.  “You don’t have to really mean it to say it.“

 

“Rey has the Force.  She will sense if it’s a lie.”

 

“Oh, yeah.  I forgot.  Good thing Cesi doesn’t have the Force.”

 

“Has it been five minutes yet?” Kylo wonders aloud.

 

“It feels like ten,” mutters the new recruit who is still hanging upside down.  All the blood has rushed to his head and he is beet red.

 

Kylo glances over.  “Put your arms down,” he orders before he drops the kid to the floor.  “I don’t need you breaking your neck.”

 

“Oooof!” the newest knight lands in a heap on the floor when Kylo releases him.

 

Nestor checks his datapad.  “Yeah, it’s been almost ten.”  He winks at Kylo.  “Go get her, Sith.” 

 

“Right.”  Kylo begins stomping down the hallway to the elevator.  He calls back over his shoulder.  “Don’t forget to tell him, Nestor.”

 

“Tell me what?” asks the youngest knight warily.

 

“Never underestimate the power of the Force,” sighs Nestor as he offers his sprawling colleague a hand.  “Seriously, kid.  Take my advice:  don’t diss the Force.  Nothing gets the boss madder than someone dissing the Force.”

 

A full fifteen minutes after he had contacted Rey, Kylo presents himself for Nestor Ren's promised seduction.   Kylo finds Rey curled on a couch with a datapad.  She looks up as he enters the room and climbs to her feet. 

 

She's nervous, he senses. 

 

And, damn if Nestor hadn't been right.  Rey is wearing a loose black strapless column dress.  With it she has donned matching long fingerless gloves that instantly remind him of her Jakku arm wraps.  This is nothing like the demure pastel princess dresses he has seen Rey wear to date.  Her hair is down and it's straight and shiny.  Altogether, the look is very sleek and very Sith. 

 

Kylo suppresses a grin.  Rey looks hot.  And a little dangerous.

 

"Hello, Rey."

 

"Kylo."

 

There is an awkward pause.  Who talks first?   Does he talk first?   No, she does.   "You wanted to see me?" Rey prompts him.   And, yeah, that's right.  He had initiated all of this earlier today.

 

"Yes, I did."

 

She looks at him. 

 

Say something idiot, he prompts himself.  But what?  Suddenly making conversation seems hard.  And that’s weird because back on Jakku they were always very relaxed around one another.  But here goes:  "Our mental connection will get easier," he begins.  Because when in doubt, talk about the Force.  That seems like a neutral enough topic.

 

Except it’s not.  "The connection is not hard.  It's just . . .it’s so . . . "   Rey is searching for the right word.

 

"Intimate?"

 

"Yes."  She blushes. "And scary," she confesses looking away.   “I don’t like.  I would rather not do it.”

 

He knows that she's remembering him looking into her memories.  That was not his best moment.  Kylo tries to reassure her now.  "Rey, I won't hurt you again.  I won't look to see anything you don't want me to see."  She's still looking away, so he keeps talking.  "I am sorry that I hurt you, Rey."   And still, she is looking away with her arms crossed to hug herself.  But she nods a little.   She’s listening.

 

"Every time you get in my head, I think of that.   And it scares me.  You really hurt me."   Rey looks up now.  "Talk to me in person, Kylo.  Not in the Force.”  This comes out as half demand and half plea.

 

"Alright, Rey," Kylo concedes.  He'll think up something to tell his Master. 

 

And now there is another awkward pause until Rey finally speaks up.  "So are you done with Snoke for today?" she asks nonchalantly. 

 

"Yes."

 

"Was it the Mid Rim again?"

 

"Yes."  

 

Rey purses her lips as she cocks her head up at him.  “Did that dinner conversation have any effect on your strategy?"

 

"In part.  Our Master wants to have it both ways now."   Therein lies the problem.  Snoke now wants him to subdue the Mid Rim and press forward to the Core simultaneously.  Kylo has no idea if he can make that happen.  But failure is not an option.  If nothing else, General Hux's example makes that clear.  Kylo sighs.  "He asks the impossible.  I'm supposed to make everyone happy now."

 

His stress must show because Rey tells him "I'm sorry, Kylo."   And she seems sincere. 

 

This is his opening, he knows.  So with Nestor’s advice in mind, Kylo takes a deep breath and plunges forward.  "I'm sorry too."  He looks down, feeling less than his usual confident self.  Something about his recent interactions with Rey seems to take the wind from his sails.  "I'm sorry, Rey."  He's still holding his helmet, nervously fiddling with it.  So he puts it down.

 

She eyes him.  "Yeah, sorry for what?"

 

She's not going to make this easy for him.  She's going to drag this out.  Kylo can count on one hand the number of apologies he has made in his life.  He's a Sith and apologies and explanations are generally not necessary.  But here goes more.

 

"I'm sorry for hurting you, for hitting you, for threatening you . . .”  Did he leave anything out?  “For not giving you a chance to explain.  For not understanding the situation you were in with the Resistance.  I lost my temper that day on Kardura.  I didn't think before I acted."  It made an already bad situation even worse, he sees in hindsight.   “I’m just . . . sorry.  For all of it.  And for what it did to us.”

 

Rey shifts her weight and keeps eyeing him.  And so he keeps going.

 

"I should have taken you home, never here to Snoke.  I knew you didn't want to get involved in this war.  But after you met Skywalker, I couldn't see a way around it.  It made you a potential threat."

 

“I was never a threat,” she objects.  “I didn’t understand your family when I met them, Kylo.  I didn’t realize what I had gotten myself into.  And then it was too late.  I was trapped.”  Rey looks him in the eye.  “Kylo, I never wanted to fight against you.  I never wanted to fight anyone.  I still don’t.”

 

“I know.”

 

Yes, he knows that now, but it has taken him a long while to realize it.  Because when you are a Skywalker raised on the lore of the Force by parents who were both generals, when politics and war are a way of life for your family for generations, it is hard to understand someone like Rey.   His scavenger girl is not a pacifist—far from it.  He guesses Rey has probably seen more strife in her daily life on Jakku than many of his troops have in war.   And that experience has colored Rey’s perspective indelibly.  He sees now that his girl wants a peaceful, ordinary life with a normal family.   And those are things Kylo Ren cannot give her. 

 

Maybe Rey is right, he thinks.  Perhaps the Force truly did make a mistake with them.

 

"Does our Master treat you well?" Kylo wants to change the subject. 

 

"Yes.  Like a true princess."  This is as Kylo has suspected, but it's good to hear Rey confirm it.  Darth Plagueis is too wily a Sith to treat Rey badly and risk making her an enemy.  Once it was clear that his Master would let Rey live, Kylo knew Snoke would treat her well.  Plus, the old Muun genuinely seems to like her too. 

 

"He loves to teach.  Do you like learning about the Force?" he asks.

 

"I suppose.  It's a lot of meditation and lectures.  I keep asking for a sword.  Snoke keeps refusing."

 

Kylo is not surprised.  "He will never teach you combat, Rey.  He will never train you to fight one of us."   His Master will only teach her skills he deems useful and non-threatening.  And, under the circumstances, that’s probably appropriate.

 

“He’s teaching me other things too.  I watch a lot of his audiences these days.  That’s basically what I do here:  I learn the Force, I observe in the audience chamber, and I visit Army.” 

 

Ah, Hux.  The conversation has finally gotten around to General Hux.  Kylo can’t resist baiting her by furthering the topic.  He wants to see what she’ll do.  “Hux looked pretty bad today.   We got him out of bed for a meeting and he could barely sit in the chair.”

 

“You took him to a meeting?  Today??”  Rey is clearly alarmed.  “But it’s only day three!  He shouldn’t even be on his feet, Kylo.”  Rey looks aghast.  She puts a hand to her mouth in dismay.  “Oh, Army,” she sighs.  And for a moment, Rey looks like she’s about to cry.  But stalwart Rey inhales a ragged breath and collects herself. 

 

Just watching this play of emotions makes him jealous.   Because where was Rey with all this sympathy for him for his hurt arm?  Oh, yeah, she had been worried . . . until he had pushed her away.  He has been pushing Rey away, Kylo realizes, but Armitage Hux has not.  Perhaps he has brought this jealousy on himself, Kylo realizes uncomfortably.

 

“Army isn't doing so well, Kylo.  All these months have taken their toll on him.  It's getting harder each time."

 

Kylo’s sympathies are not aroused.  "He’s lucky he’s alive.  If we still had the Starkiller, the Sith would already rule the galaxy," he gripes.

 

She ignores this.  She is the Light and she appeals first with compassion.   "Army has been hurt enough--how long is this going to go on?   It's gratuitous and cruel."

 

He shrugs.  "Snoke is doing it, not me."

 

"But you could stop it," she counters hopefully. 

 

"Why would I intervene for Hux?" Kylo asks as he crosses his arms and looks down at her expectantly. 

 

And now Rey’s argument shifts to logic.  "Because you need his help.  If you want to win the galaxy without the Starkiller, you need General Hux.  He's the First Order's best general."

 

"We have other generals who are more than competent," Kylo contends.

 

“But why do you want to settle for second best?”  Rey steps forward and meets his eyes.  “You don’t settle in other things, so why should you settle in this?  Isn’t ruling the galaxy the whole point of the Sith agenda?  If a Sith will sacrifice anything for power, shouldn’t you and Snoke sacrifice your revenge on Army?  Isn’t it more important to rule the galaxy than to punish General Hux?” 

 

She has a point there.  Apparently, his scavenger girl has hung out with Snoke long enough to know how to appeal to a Sith’s self-interest.  It starts with power, of course.  But the twin vices pride and passion are not far behind.

 

Rey steps even closer now and she puts a hand on his arm, looking up at him.  Is she doing this?  Yes, she is doing this.  "He will never rival you.  You know that,” she says softly.  And for a moment Kylo is mesmerized by all the exposed kissable skin from her neck to her shoulders to her chest.  Now that Rey is no longer starved and on the go all day, she has filled out to more normal proportions.  That means there is something to see when he looks down the front of her dress.  Kylo is loving these new curves. 

 

“You are Sith,” she half-whispers.  “He can't compete with that.  He’ll never compete with that."  And now Rey’s tentative hand climbs a little up his arm.  “He's no Kylo Ren.”

 

Damn right, he’s not.  Hux will never be anything other than a footnote in history, Kylo vows.  And Hux will never, ever be anything more than a friend to Rey.  Kylo intends to make sure of that.

 

Rey keeps going.  She has both of her hands resting on his arms in a loose quasi-embrace.  Kylo stands there immobile watching Rey’s inexperienced but determined effort to come on to him.  She’s trying to wheedle support for Hux in the way only she can.  “No matter what Army does after this, he will forever be known for the Starkiller.  You have superseded him in every way.   He will never match your glory.”  She raises on tiptoe now and her voice is a husky whisper in his ear.  “He will never be more powerful than Darth Vader.”

 

He closes his eyes at this and wishes she would say it again.  _Say it again._ The words communicate in the Force before he can stop them.  And Rey obliges.  She reaches up to pull his head lower and closer to hers.  They are cheek to cheek as she speaks it into his ear.  “He will never be more powerful than Darth Vader.  He will never be Kylo Ren.”

 

Rey pulls back now, suddenly shy.  As if wondering if she’s gone too far.  Her eyes are searching his with nervous anticipation.  And that is the encouragement he needs.  Today, he will take what she is offering.  Kylo pulls her forward a half step and his lips descend on hers.  This kiss is demanding and deep and wanting from the get-go.  He is a Sith driven by aggression and passion and power.   And there is nothing hotter than listening to Emperor Palpatine’s gorgeous heiress whisper Darth Vader in his ear.  How can he resist that?  Hell, he might ask Snoke to pardon Hux just to hear that again.

 

The Force is swirling around them both.  Does she feel it too?  Rey is responding now and he feels her hands creep around his waist.   Yes, put your hands on me, he thinks.  He steps closer and they become intertwined.  Her head thrown back and his hands embedded in the roots of her hair.  Her arms pulling him close and his body pressed up against hers.  The kiss keeps going and going.  He is hard, rock hard for her now. 

 

Is Rey as ready for more as he is?  His old room is down here just steps away.  He will lead her there and lay her down and make her his again.  He will bury his body between her thighs and bury his mind in her Light and enjoy the release he so desperately craves.  Sex and the Force combine to make his girl the ultimate experience.  He needs this, oh how he needs this. 

 

He whispers between kisses now.  "I’ll speak to Snoke about Hux.   But come and be mine again now.   Let me love you."

 

The Force is a static buzz now against his mind.  The universal energy field is nearly crackling with anticipation.  For he is Dark and she is Light and when they come together it breaks all the rules and transcends the expectations.   But he's never been one for boundaries.  He's a Sith so he doesn't follow the rules.  Thank you Master for torturing Armitage Hux, Kylo thinks.  Because it has sent Rey back into his arms.  He had forgotten how electric their physical chemistry is. 

 

"Kylo Ren!” he hears his name spoken sharply by his Master and immediately he and Rey split apart.  It’s like a splash of cold water over him.  His lust is instantly cooled.  Sure enough, the old Muun Sith stands in the doorway, one of his precious library tomes clutched in his spindly hands. 

 

“Master,” he and Rey sputter in unison.  Then Kylo swallows hard.   This isn’t good.

 

Snoke ignores Rey and focuses on him.  The Muun sweeps into the room, the picture of disapproval.  “I did not give you leave to maul my daughter.  I told you to get in her mind, Apprentice, not under her skirt."   His Master turns now to red-faced Rey, waving a warning finger before her nose.  "Be careful when you tempt a Sith, my dear.  We are not known for our restraint."

 

Flustered Rey says nothing.  She just looks from Master to Apprentice.  Snoke waves her away with a dismissive hand and Rey gladly flees the room. 

 

Old Darth Plagueis watches her retreat with interest.   Noting the dress with all the skin showing that is a departure from Rey's usual choices.  "She is trying hard.  Does she want you or want something else?"

 

Awkward as this is, Kylo is truthful, as always, with his Master.  "Rey wants me to plead Hux's case with you," he admits.

 

Snoke catches his eye and then bursts out laughing.  And now it's Kylo's turn to squirm.  "So she plays the seductress with you on behalf of another man?  And for your good friend Army Hux, no less."  Darth Plagueis the Wise is tickled at the ridiculousness of the situation.

 

Kylo fumes.  He’s going to murder Nestor Ren when he next sees him.

 

But Snoke is enjoying the joke, sputtering out words as he guffaws away.  "Such a noble sacrifice our fair princess is making for the poor general.   Army Hux would be outraged if only he knew.  I have half a mind to tell him," Snoke muses.  "Just to see his reaction.  The general thinks only of our princess when I punish him.”

 

Kylo scowls over his embarrassment.   He’d rather his Master be angry with him than mock him.  Lightning would be better than this humiliation.

 

"Milk this for all it is worth, Apprentice,” the elder Sith advises.  Snoke is not angry, Kylo sees.  He’s just playing games.  “Steal all the kisses you can, but you may not take her to bed yet."

 

"It's too late for that," Kylo brags.  He needs to save face somehow. 

 

Old Snoke gives him an approving attaboy look.  "When did this happen?" he wants to know.

 

"On the _Finalizer_ when she showed up with the map."

 

Snoke flashes him a wicked man-to-man grin. "Well then, Apprentice, you know the joy of a lady of the Light."  Then his Master thinks a moment and slants him a questioning look. "You do know that joy, do you not?"

 

Kylo is offended.  Again, his ego is pricked.  "Of course."

 

"Just checking, my boy, just checking.  A man ought to know how to please a woman.  Especially a Sith.  Seduction is our specialty."   The randy old Muun now confides, “It took me hundreds of years and hundreds of women before I discovered the joy of seducing a Force-user.  It was my Jedi wife who taught me that little secret.   Once I had her under me on my altar table, I married her on the spot.  For the Darker the Sith, the greater our call to the Light.  Look for balance, my boy, in all things."

 

"I have always wondered whether it works the same way for a Dark lady.  Probably not, or else Tyranus would not have turned on Asajj Ventress.”  Snoke shrugs.  “I endeavored to find out for myself but alas I never succeeded in getting Ventress into bed.” 

 

"Ventress turned you down?"  Kylo doesn’t know whether to be more surprised that his Master was unsuccessful or that he will admit to being unsuccessful.  For old Darth Plagueis fancies himself the consummate seducer and a connoisseur of women.

 

"Regrettably so.”

 

And now, Kylo wonders if the crusty old Sith Count had ever bothered to seduce his assassin.  Kylo reminds his Master, "Tyranus might not have known himself.  He was a celibate Jedi most of his life." 

 

"Yes, and he was a very dull fellow, as I recall," Snoke smirks.  “There was no point in forcing the issue with Ventress.  The experience is not—shall we say—the same.  Over time I learned that even with a Light Side girl, you need her willing participation.”

 

There’s a story there.  Kylo raises his eyebrows and shoots his Master a curious look.  And since the old Sith loves to tell tales and never shirks from locker room talk outside of mixed company, Kylo is not disappointed.  “In the aftermath of the purge, I offered safe haven to Jedi in hiding.  The Unknown Regions were a popular place of refuge for survivors.”

 

“You took in Jedi survivors?”  Kylo is shocked.  His wily Master’s past is an ever-unfolding mosaic of information.  And what Kylo learns never fails to surprise him.

 

“In those days, I was desperately looking for a Force healer.  I sought out every survivor I could find.  But I only took in the young female ones, of course.  They were mostly lost half trained padawans who had no idea how to survive on their own outside the confines of their cult.”   Snoke smiles at the memory.  “Milo was scandalized that a Sith lord kept a Jedi harem.  But it was only for a time.  I needed all that healing Light in those days to rebuild my power.”

 

Snoke turns to give Kylo a long measuring look.  "Well, since you know the special incentive our princess represents perhaps you will endeavor to earn her favors that much faster.   You must merit a woman like that, Apprentice.  Steal all the kisses you want to whet your appetite.  But let it go no further."

 

Snoke looks at him expectantly now and so dutifully he replies, "Yes, Master."


	27. Chapter 27

Rey walks up to Army's bedside and finds that he is asleep.  She doesn't wake him.  Instead, she sits down and broods on the events of two days ago.  On the fight with Army and the interrupted kiss with Kylo.   

 

Everywhere, it seems, Rey keeps getting herself in the middle of things.  First, she had been caught between the First Order and the Resistance.  And now here at the headquarters of the First Order, she is caught between the bitter rivalry of two ambitious men.   The commonality among all this strife is Kylo, she knows.  And maybe that’s what it means to fall for a Sith—they drag you into their conflicts, from a galactic civil war to a petty conflict with a coworker.   For a guy who ostensibly wants law and order, Kylo Ren sure causes a lot of trouble.

 

Army stirs and it catches her attention.  Even in slumber, her friend looks stressed and spent.  Rey can’t decide if things are improving for Army or not.  The Sith are taking his strategic advice very seriously in the wake of that awful war council dinner.  And that is a good thing because it makes the general’s life more valuable.  But the consequence is lots of work.  Poor Army has been dragged to multiple meetings and this morning he spent on a series of com calls.  It’s way too much activity for a man five days out from the latest in a long string of Force tortures.  This is a pace Army can't keep up, Rey knows.  But it's keeping him alive. 

 

It's also keeping them apart.  Rey usually pops into the infirmary several times a day.  But Rey hasn't seen Army since their argument two days ago.  It's the longest she has gone without seeing him.  And she has missed him and worried about him.

 

Army stirs again and blinks awake.  "Rey," he croaks out as his eyes come into focus. 

 

She stands to hover over him, taking his hand to squeeze it.  Rey smiles down at him.  "Hello, Army."

 

"You're here.  I was worried you wouldn't come back."

 

"I'm really hard to get rid of," Rey assures him with an easy smile.  "Especially for my grumpy general friends.  I would have dropped by earlier but the medics told me you had com calls this morning.  I didn't want to interrupt."

 

He nods.  "Leader Snoke listened.  Rey, he listened.  We have revamped our Mid Rim strategy completely." 

 

"That's wonderful, Army." 

 

"Ren is livid," he says happily.  "Absolutely livid."  Army flashes something approaching the gleeful, smug smile she’s seen on his holonet videos.  It reveals how much her friend feels like he’s back in the game.   And for a man like Army, that’s everything.  Snoke’s new strategy is a vindication that holds the promise of a second chance. 

 

Mention of Kylo must jog his memory about their last meeting.  Army’s eyes narrow.  “What happened with Ren?” he demands.  “Is he still bothering you?"

 

Rey shakes her head.  “No.  He said he would stop."

 

"Do you trust him?"  Clearly, Army does not.

 

Rey shrugs.  "We'll see."

 

"He's the stalker type,” Army warns her.  “Ren gets obsessive over things.   He was a maniac about finding Skywalker.   Careful Rey that he doesn't get obsessed with you.   You should stay away from that guy.”

 

“It will be okay.”   Rey doesn’t much want to talk about Kylo to Army.   There is enough conflict between these men as it is.  She doesn’t need to add to it, especially now that they are working together again.  If Army and Kylo can’t get along, that will not bode well for Army. 

 

“Promise me that you will stay away from him.”  The general isn’t satisfied with her response. 

 

“There's nothing to worry about.  Kylo has his hands full off fighting a war.  I’m not his priority.”

 

Her friend looks skeptical, but he drops that issue in favor of a more uncomfortable topic.  “I was worried you wouldn't come back after last time . . . ” 

 

Are they going to talk about the fight?  It looks like Army wants to talk about the fight.  Well, okay . . .  Rey dives in.  She has thought plenty about this in the interim.  And while she’s willing to let bygones be bygones, she’s not willing to apologize for who she is.   General Hux might bully others into his point of view, but he can’t bully her.   

 

“I'm sorry if I disappoint you, Army.   I’m not really into politics or this war.  I guess I'm not a very good First Order princess.”  She gives him a sheepish smile. 

 

“You could be, if you wanted to be.  If you let yourself believe in a cause bigger than yourself.”

 

Rey bushes a lock of hair back from Army’s forehead as she looks down at his hopeful, handsome face.  This man only knows her Sith princess self who leisurely floats around the Supreme Leader’s bunker in fancy dresses.  Army doesn’t understand who she really is.  And why she is that person.  He doesn’t know her past.

 

The past is never truly behind you, Rey now knows.  It becomes a part of you and a part of your present.  And, if you are not careful, it can shape your future.  That’s how powerful the past is.

 

And that’s why change is often a slow thing.  Because families, institutions and cultures keep replicating themselves time and again.  The attitudes, the values, the hopes, dreams and fears of one generation are passed down to the next.  Each time there is a slightly different spin, but the core largely remains the same.  And in trying to correct the mistakes of the past, we ironically tend to repeat them.  That paradox is what makes the future such a tricky thing.  Part self-delusion and part foolish hope.  For the more things change, the more they stay the same.

 

The past is why the defeated elder Hux tries to recreate the Empire by raising his son and grooming his soldiers to believe that defeat is not an option.  The elder Hux and his generation lost two Death Stars themselves but somehow they cannot forgive the loss of another.  The past is why Rebellion fighters Leia Organa and Han Solo raised their son to fight for what he believes in and to use war as a tool for revolution.  The problem is that their son’s revolution is against their own status quo.

 

So how does Rey explain this to Army?  How does she help him understand her past?  She can’t really.  Some things you have to experience to understand.  And that’s why Rey knows that the only person who truly understands her is Kylo Ren.  Driven, obsessive, aggressive, violent Sith Apprentice Kylo Ren.  Because he’s the man who knew her, liked her and admired her back on Jakku.   Back before daily showers and pretty dresses.  Back before the Leader called her a princess.  Back before anyone knew her pedigree.  Back when she was just a scavenger and he was a mysterious tourist with spare power converters.

 

“Army, if you ever came to Jakku, you would understand why I hate war.  I grew up stepping over bodies in battle wreckage.   I am not afraid of a fight, but when you are on your own in life you have a lot to lose.  And so when I can, I run from a fight.   Because that's how you live to fight another day.  Survivors pick their battles.”  She sighs and looks down.  “I don’t go looking for fights, Army.  And I fight only when necessary.”

 

“And when is that?” he probes.

 

“When I am threatened.   I fight to protect myself.” 

 

“Anything else?”

 

“I would fight to protect my family, if I had one.  And I would fight to protect someone I cared about.”  Rey’s face softens as she looks at Army.  “I would fight for you,” she tells him softly.  She means it.

 

“But you won’t fight for my ideals.”

 

“No.  I fight to protect people.  Not to promote causes.” 

 

Army digests all of this a moment, thinking.  “I’m not hands on warrior like Ren,” he tells Rey.  “I am scholar of war.  A thinker, not a doer.  I have studied a lot of conflicts throughout history.  Over and over again you see the same thing--that if you put people in the right situation, they do unexpected things.  Sometimes it's feats of heroism, sometimes it's acts of cowardice.   But people will surprise you.  There is violence in all of us, Rey.  We are all capable of anything if we are pushed too far.” 

 

“I suppose that’s true,” Rey muses warily over his grim thought.  “But I never want to find out.”

 

Hours later, Rey has stood behind Snoke’s throne and watched him pardon a now-contrite high profile political dissident, accept gifts of tribute from conquered worlds, and sign several economic treaties that admit new worlds to the First Order’s portfolio of industrial systems.   The Supreme Leader has one last official audience of the day remaining.  This guest is alone and he is escorted by Milo himself and not the usual lieutenant who serves as the Leader's majordomo. 

 

"Commandant Brendol Hux," Milo announces gravely as he bows low and withdraws from the room. 

 

Curious Rey takes a good long look.   This then is Army's estranged father.  The Commandant is a tall stately man of late middle years with pale skin and thick steel grey hair.  He is barrel chested with the beginnings of a paunch but he still wears his uniform well.  Like his son, the Commandant walks and stands with the erect posture and brash confidence of a man accustomed to command.  But his thoughts betray him.  Brendol Hux is very, very nervous. 

 

"Welcome, my old friend."   Snoke rises from his throne and walks down to greet the Commandant personally with a handshake, something that the Supreme Leader never does.  It is a magnanimous gesture which tells Rey that her Master plans to deliver bad news. 

 

Once the preliminaries are over, the Leader settles back on his throne and the interview begins.  Rey listens as Army's father quietly pleads his son's case at length.  Snoke lets him speak his mind without interruption. 

 

It is a well-reasoned defense, Rey judges.  Designed to appeal to the ever logical Sith who eschews sentiment.  But the fact remains that the consequence of losing Starkiller Base may be the loss of the galaxy.  And that tends to overshadow everything.   It doesn’t help matters that Snoke’s Apprentice himself had made vociferous objections to the design and defense of the oscillator, pointing out time and again the very strategy the Resistance had used to disable it.  And so there is an undercurrent of arrogance that has led to Army’s comeuppance, and that arrogance had been directed to a Sith.   But if Army dies for his failings, Rey thinks, then surely this Captain Phasma person should too.  For the stated explanation of how the Resistance commando team had lowered the shields seems sketchy indeed. 

 

When the Commandant is finished, the Supreme Leader finally speaks.  "The loss of Starkiller Base has been a grave setback for our cause.   That fact becomes more and more apparent by the day."  Snoke says this with a veneer patience that belies his underlying frustration with the Mid Rim situation.  “I will take what you have told me under advisement, old friend," the Sith decides.  "You have always given me good counsel.” 

 

"Thank you, Supreme Leader."  The Commandant respectfully nods his head.  Snoke's response is not the reprieve the Commandant is hoping for, but it is not the confirmation of his son's death sentence that he clearly fears.   "If I may, in the event there is to be an e-execution . . . " the elder Hux clearly has trouble saying the word, "I would like to see him beforehand."   The man’s poker face slips briefly as he complains, "Armitage will not see me and he will not respond to messages.  It will take an order from you for my son to agree to see me."

 

“Of course.”  Snoke is gracious as he agrees to this request.  "If necessary, I will issue such an order, Commandant."

 

"Thank you, Supreme Leader."

 

Once again, Snoke rises from his chair to step down the dais.  Today he starts and ends this formal interview with an uncharacteristic personal touch.  The Sith walks forward to grip the Commandant’s hand.  Then he reaches to clap at the man’s shoulder in a gesture that reads as sympathy to Rey’s eyes. 

 

"I was a father to two sons myself years ago.  I recall what a difficult relationship that can be.  And I too know what it is to lose a son, Brendol.  Both of my children are long gone now.”   The Muun Sith flashes a wistful ghost of a smile across his features.  "Commandant, what you perceive as rejection may in fact be fear,” Snoke counsels.  “Do not overlook how difficult it must be for Armitage to face a man like yourself in defeat.  You cast a long shadow, old friend.”   It is a quiet compliment, elegantly said.  “I am mindful and grateful for all that you have done for our cause through the years." 

 

"Thank you, Supreme Leader."

 

Snoke nods gravely at his guest before indicating his dismissal. "Milo will be in touch if there is the need."

 

"Thank you, Supreme Leader."

 

When the Commandant is gone, Snoke turns to Rey.  Here comes his concluding question for the day.  "Did you learn something today, Princess?" the old Muun asks.

 

"No."  It’s the truth.  Nothing about today’s audiences had surprised or enlightened Rey.  And that in itself is a disappointment.  Rey keeps looking for glimmers of humanity in this old Dark Sith, but there are none to be found.  Darth Plagueis the Wise looks like a monster and acts like a monster, but she keeps wanting to convince herself that he is not a monster.  She’s not really sure why.   Probably because Rey has grown to like old Snoke.  Just like she has grown to care for the genocidal General Hux.  What does that say about her?  Rey isn’t sure.  Probably that Army was right and she does lack any convictions, Rey thinks glumly.  Because she can find things to admire in all sorts of people on both sides of this war.  Her perspective has always been mired in grey, as opposed to black or white. 

 

Snoke considers her unequivocal response.  “My dear, you are observing for a reason.  You will need these skills for the future.   If you are to fulfill your destiny, you must learn this role.”  Before Rey can ask him about this cryptic statement, her Master bids her, "Catch our guest before he leaves.  Walk the Commandant out and tell him all he wishes to know of his son."

 

Rey immediately objects out of loyalty to Army. "General Hux would not want me to sp--"

 

"My request is not optional."  Supreme Leader Snoke overrides her hesitation with a sharp response. Rey hastens to comply.

 

"Commandant, Sir," Rey half jogs down the main corridor to catch the departing Brendol Hux.

 

"Yes?"  He turns and looks Rey over with interest.  The elder Hux has the same pale blue eyes as his son, she sees.  And he too has conventionally handsome human features.

 

"My name is Rey and I am a friend to your son," she begins. 

 

"You are the princess, aren't you?" the Commandant asks point blank.  He has the same blunt and clipped speech cadence as his son.  "The one who intervened to stop Ren with his own sword?"

 

"Yes."  How did he know about that?   The First Order rumor mill has a long reach, Rey realizes. 

 

"You were brave to get in the middle of those two," the Commandant appraises.  "Not many would have dared that."

 

"Army has been hurt enough," Rey says softly. 

 

The Commandant nods his agreement.  “Walk with me,” he bids her and gestures for Rey to follow.  For the next ten minutes as they wander the upper halls of Snoke’s bunker, Rey answers the elder Hux’s questions as honestly and fully as she can.  She does not sugarcoat the truth of Army's suffering.  Nor does she provide any encouragement that might be considered false hope.  But she endeavors to give a true report of his plight.  When she has exhausted all the information she can share, Rey falls silent. 

 

"The Leader sent you after me, did he not?” the Commandant guesses.

 

“Yes."  

 

“That is his way.  Our Leader can be both cruel and kind.  Often at the same time.”  The elder Hux looks at Rey with resignation now.  They are in the elevator heading up to the surface landing platform now.  "Do not take this the wrong way, Princess, but I hope we never meet again.  I would prefer not to return here."  

 

"I understand," Rey answers softly and with a gulp.  She doesn't want Army executed either.

 

Army’s father looks away, clearly uncomfortable.  "Tell my son that I wish him well.   And I did my best."

 

"We all make mistakes," Rey says softly.   We all have regrets, she adds to herself.

 

Brendol Hux brushes aside this sentiment.  His next words are harsh.  "My son is a spectacular failure.  An embarrassment.  He probably deserves to die.  But still . . . I do not want him to die."

 

Me too, Rey thinks.  Me too.   And now, suddenly she is blinking back tears. 

 

A familiar black command shuttle is touching down as together she and the Commandant exit the elevator to the bunker's landing pad.  Rey stops and watches a moment.  The sight drags up old memories of desert days when Rey had waited in eager anticipation of this shuttle arriving.   Days when she would rush outside to look up at the sound ion engines, hoping to see this very ship.  Days before Luke Skywalker and the Resistance, days before Snoke and his First Order command center.   Days before she knew Army Hux.  So much has happened since them.  So much has gone so wrong.  And a sincere apology and a torrid kiss haven't erased all of that.  But maybe it’s a start.

 

Brendol Hux has stopped at her side.  He is taking his leave now.  "Thank you, Princess.  For speaking with me.  And for being his friend."

 

"Y-Yes."  Rey nods absently.   She is thoroughly distracted by the lowering ramp of Kylo's shuttle.  Like all Sith, Kylo Ren cloaks his imprint in the Force and so she cannot sense his approach.  But still, the very sight of him sends a thrill through her.  Rey cannot look away. 

 

The Commandant follows her gaze.  “Ah, look who it is.”

 

Two stormtroopers have disembarked to stand guard at the shuttle, but fast on their heels tromps the Sith himself.  Rey knows that purposeful stride anywhere.  No one walks like Kylo Ren.  Watching him, Rey has the sudden urge to run into his arms and to beg him to take her away from here.   So that together they could escape like she had once proposed to Army.  She and Kylo could start over someplace in blissful anonymity.  On a quiet world where no one would recognize the Sith and his faux princess.  Where there would be no Snoke to loom in the background and interrupt their kisses.  Where there would be no war to fight and no infighting among bitter colleagues.  It's a fantasy, Rey knows, but she indulges in it for a moment as up stalks the First Knight of the First Order.

 

He is a Skywalker Sith and latest priest of the Dark Side.  He doesn't run from war, he plots it.  Conflict is a Sith’s favorite change agent, after all.   This is the life he wants and these are the goals he has chosen.  Unlike Rey, who has unwittingly gotten caught up in his Dark destiny.  Along the way, she has made her own choices, but never had she understood how they would culminate.  And all she can think about her improbable path is ‘what’s next?’  Because the truth of Rey of Jakku is stranger than fiction.

 

Rey watches as Kylo removes his helmet as he approaches.  He's not approaching her, he's approaching the man at her side.  "Commandant, Sir."  Kylo extends his arm and the men shake hands.  Kylo's respectful demeanor is a marked change from the arrogant commanding attitude Rey is used to seeing him project. 

 

"Kylo, good to see you, son." The elder Hux looks genuinely glad to see the Master of the Knights of Ren and that is a surprise to Rey given the antagonism between Kylo and Army. 

 

"Here to see the Leader?" Kylo asks. 

 

"Yes."

 

Kylo turns to her now. The Sith looks her up and down.  "Rey."   

 

"Kylo."  Their eyes meet and hold for a few seconds too long.  And all Rey can think is that the last time she saw Kylo she was drowning in his kiss being held tight in his strong arms. 

 

Kylo turns back to the Commandant. “How did it go?”

 

The older man’s response is somber.  “About like I expected.  He listened.  I knew that he would listen.”

 

Kylo nods at this.  "I'll talk to him, Sir."

 

"Thank you, Kylo," the older man nods gravely.  "That is big of you.  I heard Armitage took the first swing."

 

Kylo nods.  Then his eyes glance over at her.  “Your son has powerful allies, Commandant.  And he is redeeming himself in the Mid Rim.  I will let you know what our Leader says," Kylo promises.  Then the young Sith’s gaze flits back to her for a long silent moment before he continues inside. 

 

The flock of First Order aides de camp who have accompanied the First Knight now hurry to catch up.  His entourage flows fast in his wake.   Kylo Ren is a very busy man these days.  Both Rey and Brendol Hux turn to watch as the Sith departs. 

 

"Now there is a son to be proud of," Army's father remarks.  His voice is full of his own dissatisfaction.   “The Leader is justifiably very proud of his boy.”

 

That attitude angers Rey on Army's behalf.  "Do you know whose son Kylo Ren really is?" she asks. 

 

"Indeed, I do.  It makes him all the more impressive.   It says something about a man when he has his pick of which side to lead in this war.  We are fortunate that he chose us."   Brendol Hux nods approvingly in the direction of Kylo.  "The Sith know how to raise a real man.  A leader and a warrior."   Again, the older man's own deep disappointment shows.

 

Rey looks away to hide her frown.  She is beginning to comprehend fully now.  The antipathy between Kylo and Army is not just the professional rivalry between two competitive, aggressive men.  There is far more to Army's dislike than she had previously understood.  Army has been held up to the standard of Kylo and found wanting.  Time and again, most likely.  No wonder he is bitter and Kylo is smug. 

 

Rey of Jakku knows very little about the experience of being in a family.  But she’s starting to understand that fathers and sons are a strange dynamic.  She thinks back to Snoke testing Kylo when he arrived here with her in tow, remembering the overt dominance and the covert agenda.   The Leader’s tough love demeanor with his Apprentice seems in sharp contrast to the way he now treats Rey as an indulged daughter to be protected.  She thinks too of how Kylo admires his grandfather Lord Vader.  Kylo’s regard is hero worship mixed with a strong streak of competition.  The younger man admires his elder even as he strives to outdo him.    And that’s how the elder wants it, for a son who does not struggle to transcend his place will not earn his respect.  It’s an expectations game, Rey sees.  The father figure has to keep his expectations just out of reach and the son has to keep striving nonetheless.   Along the way, the encouragement seems to be equal parts criticism and the occasional pat on the head.   Men, she grumbles to herself, are very hard to understand. 

 

Puzzling over this, Rey wanders back down to Snoke's lair and nearly collides with the head Sith himself.

 

"How did it go?" Snoke asks and Rey is instantly reminded of Kylo’s question to the Commandant.   Suddenly, she realizes that both the elder Sith and the elder Hux are anxious in the aftermath of today’s audience.  And that is food for thought for later.  For it is rare to see Darth Plagueis the Wise anything but completely confident.  Maybe this is the glimmer of humanity she was looking for earlier. 

 

But for now, Rey tells her Master tartly, "As far as I can tell, it's as hard to be a Hux as it is to be a Skywalker.  Are all families this dysfunctional?   I'm curious because I never knew my family."

 

The Muun considers before he answers. "In a word, yes.  But the Skywalkers take dysfunction to a whole new level."  He shakes his head sadly now.  "At least the Hux family is all on the same side.  For years, Princess, I have plotted to get us on the same side.  But to no avail."

 

“Why can’t you all get along?” Rey gripes. 

 

“Why indeed, Princess.  Why indeed.”


	28. Chapter 28

"Where is he?  Is he coming?"  Kylo looks around the assembled First Order brain trust cooling their heels in the conference room.  A lot of people's time is being wasted while they await General Hux.

 

The new guy Sayeed Ren is back from his recon mission to the infirmary.   He has news.  "Yeah, he's coming.  The girl was almost done with him when I left."

 

"What girl?" 

 

"The bossy one who hovers over his bedside like a gundark lying in wait." 

 

“She sounds perfect for him,” Kylo gripes.  He is annoyed by the delay.  "It's going to take him ten minutes to limp down here because he refuses to use a hoverchair."

 

Captain Phasma, the sole woman in the room, has been listening to this exchange.  She, like himself, has her helmet off. "That sounds like Army Hux," she laughs.  "He must be doing better."

 

He is doing better, Kylo sees, when Hux finally makes his entrance.  The general doesn't quite stride in like he owns the room the way Armitage Hux used to, but he is moving easier.  And today he takes a seat at the table rather than collapses into the nearest open chair. 

 

"Let's get started," Kylo barks impatiently.  "We have a lot to cover."

 

His days seem to disappear lately as he and the other First Order senior leaders plan the invasion of Coruscant.  The moment Hux had said that conquest of the Core begins and ends with Coruscant, the disgraced general had convinced his Master.  Coruscant is the bright center of the universe, the glittering crown jewel of the galaxy.  And it has long been the aim of all Sith.  'So goes Coruscant, so goes the galaxy’ is the old saying about this ancient seat of power.  And now, it is the First Order’s strategy to win the war.  For his Master, like himself, is panting for the chance to claim the galaxy's Eternal City for the Sith.   

 

Coruscant was taken from within by Darth Sidious through his Trojan Horse senate leadership.  But Darth Plagueis and Kylo Ren will have to invade to conquer this time around.  It is a precarious business that requires careful planning.  And that means lots and lots of meetings.  And lots and lots of hours with General Hux.  Kylo sighs.  It’s time to get to work. 

 

Three hours later there is a respectful knock at the door to interrupt.  It’s a medic from the infirmary here with a stim shot and pain meds for General Hux.   Kylo declares a fifteen minute break and he and most everyone but Hux escape the room to check messages and return com calls.  Kylo walks outside intending to put his nose in his datapad too, but he is surprised to see Rey.  She is loitering alone in the crowded corridor.

 

“What brings you here?”

 

“I wanted to make sure Army gets his medicine.”

 

“What are you a medic now?” he smirks.

 

She frowns.  “That knight you sent to fetch Army was obnoxious.  When the droid explained that he would be sending medicine later, your guy suggested he might not allow it.   I am here to make sure it is allowed.”

 

“So you are a champion of the sick?” Kylo says this with a grin.  Because mercy missions like this are very Light Side of her. 

 

“Something like that,” Rey shrugs.  “I just didn’t want Army to miss his meds.  He needs them and you need him.  I tried to explain that to your knight, but he wasn’t listening.”

 

“Sayeed is new.  He’s learning.”

 

“Yeah?” Rey raises an eyebrow.  “He’s certainly learned to throw his weight around.  He has the Knight of Ren attitude down.”

 

“What attitude is that?” Kylo plays dumb.  He wants to hear what she’ll say.

 

“The arrogant asshole attitude.  You know,” Rey glances sideways at him.  “Your attitude.”

 

Kylo laughs.  “Such language, Princess,” he chides.  “Come in here,” he ushers her towards the adjacent empty conference room, “before you scandalize General Hux again.”   She walks in and he shuts the door.  A few minutes alone with Rey is just the break he needs right now.  “Tell me what’s new,” he says.  “I’m taking a fifteen minute hiatus from war.”

 

She thinks a moment and then goes back to Hux.  "Army is doing so much better.  It's been twelve days now."

 

"He's his old self again alright," Kylo says dryly and without enthusiasm.  He really doesn’t want to talk about Hux.

 

"It’s thanks to you, Kylo.”  Rey is beaming up at him now like he’s some kind of hero.  So maybe this is a good topic after all.  “I know it’s because you spoke to Snoke for him," she smiles.

 

And Kylo’s no fool.  He remembers his Master’s advice to milk this situation for all it’s worth.  He reaches to take Rey’s hand and looks deep into her eyes.  "I did it for you.  I did it for you, Rey."

 

"And for yourself, Sith."  She gives him a knowing look.  He loves that look.  It’s like they share a secret or an inside joke together.  Which they sort of do.  Other than Milo, no one knows more about he, his Master and the Sith than Rey does.  And she knows all his awkward family secrets too.

 

“It was a win-win,” Kylo shrugs.  "Our interests were aligned.  He needed help.  I needed a general."

 

"Well, thank you," Rey says softly.  She stands on tiptoe and gives him a quick peck on the cheek.

 

"That's all I get?" he complains. 

 

She laughs.  "What do you want?"

 

"I want it all,” he leers.  “I'm a Sith and I want it all."

 

Rey bursts out laughing.   Apparently, she's seen enough Dark Side bravado these days to recognize it for what it is.  “Next, you’re going to tell me that you can take whatever you want.”

 

He is indignant.  “I can.”

 

She just laughs.

 

"What?"

 

Rey laughs some more.  "You're cute when you are posturing."

 

"You're supposed to be intimidated."

 

"I'm not."

 

"I know.”  Kylo crosses his arms over his chest and considers her.  “I like that about you,” he reveals.  “From the first time I met you, you stood your ground ready to beat me with a stick."  That makes Rey giggle some more and she flashes her dimples at him.  “I like you happy like this, Rey.  It reminds me of Jakku.”

 

“I’m a lot cleaner now than I was on Jakku,” she informs him.

 

“I know.  And that’s too bad.  It means I can’t entice you to my shower to get you naked.”

 

Rey blushes and catches his eye.  Then she blushes again.  Is she remembering what he’s remembering?  Yes, she is.  Rey abruptly changes the topic.  She starts circling the small conference table in the room, absently trailing her hand along the edge.  "So when does this invasion start?"

 

"Soon. We're still working out the details.   And first we have to complete our objectives in the Mid Rim to free up troops.  Best guess is we’re about a month away.  Maybe more.”

 

“A month away,” she echoes softly.  Rey stops walking and looks across at him.   “This is really happening then?”

 

“Yes,” he confirms.  And now he’s at her side and his words are rushing out.  “Rey, once it starts, this will be it.  Invading Coruscant will be the beginning of the end.  The galaxy will be won or lost in the Core."

 

She nods, then whispers softly and a bit fearfully, "It's more than just the galaxy, isn’t it?"

 

"Yes.”  She is right to be concerned.  “This will decide it all.  The future of the Force and the future of my family.”  She looks away a moment until he says her name.  “Rey . . . Rey, this will decide our future too."

 

"Our future?” She is searching his eyes now.  “Do we have a future, Kylo?"

 

Yes, he hopes so.  "Since I left you on Jakku, I have wanted us to be together.  I meant what I said back then.  When this war is over, I want us to be together." 

 

Rey looks away again in confusion.  "Will Snoke even allow it?" she wonders.

 

"Yes.   Rey, I want us to be together.”  She’s still looking away and that worries him.  She’s not meeting his eyes.  He reaches for her now.  He’s got his hands gripping her upper arms.  “Rey, look at me . . . say that you want that too." 

 

She’s nervous under his touch and he can feel her uncertainty in the Force.  "Kylo--" she hesitates.

 

"Tell me you want me--"

 

"Kylo--"

 

"Tell me--"

 

She’s pushing back physically now and he releases her.  "I don't know!” she wails unhappily.  “I don't know what I want."  Rey’s words are honest and they aren’t all that surprising.  But still, her rejection stings.  Maybe their interrupted kiss hadn’t meant as much to her as it had to him.   Maybe he has always been more into Rey than she has been into him.  If he hadn’t been so crazy for this girl, he never would have been so upset when he found her at the Resistance.   He was crazy for her then and he’s still crazy for her now but maybe that’s not enough.

 

"Is it Hux?” Kylo demands hoarsely.  “Do you want Hux?  Is this about Hux?"

 

"Kylo--"

 

"Rey, he's not for you!  He doesn't deserve you.  He doesn't even really know you--"

 

"Kylo, let me talk!”  He is chastised now and falls silent.  It’s hard for him not to be aggressive.  His first instinct is always to dominate.  “This is about you,” Rey levels with him.  “I'm not sure yet how I feel about you."

 

Okay.  But what does that mean exactly?  And then a thought occurs to him.  "Do I need to say I'm sorry again?  Is that it?"   Nestor seems to think those magic words fix everything with women.

 

Rey shakes her head.  "Sorry doesn't take the hurt away.  Sorry is the beginning of getting over something, not the end."

 

Oh.  Okay.  Well, time heals all wounds, right?  "Rey, look you have several weeks at least before we win," he reasons. "That should be time enough to get over it."

 

“You’re not getting this, Kylo.”

 

“Yeah?”  He is defensive now.   “Well, I don’t do ‘I’m sorry’ much.  I don’t say it and I never hear it.  Apologies are not my thing.”

 

“Yes, I figured that out,” she tells him dryly.  "I need time, Kylo.  We need time.”

 

“I can’t give you time,” he complains.  “I have a war to fight and an invasion to plan and a Jedi to kill.”  He’s a busy man and an impatient man.  He knows what he wants.  What’s taking Rey so long to decide?

 

“Are you going to kill your uncle?" she asks.

 

"Yes.  That's the plan."  If he doesn’t kill me first, Kylo thinks to himself.  He’s a little scared of crossing swords with Luke Skywalker again, to be honest.  Not that he would ever admit to it.

 

"What about your mother?"

 

"She is to be captured.  Snoke won't kill her.  He likes my mother."

 

"Really?” Rey blinks at this.  “But she's the enemy general."

 

"She's also a Skywalker,” he reminds her.  “Our Master says she's a lot like my grandfather."

 

"Oh.  Wow. I would never have guessed."

 

"Neither would she,” Kylo smirks.  He slants a measuring glance over at Rey.  “You didn't like my mother, did you?"

 

"Not really," Rey admits.  And that’s another point in Rey’s favor.  Really, this girl is perfect for him.

 

"Well, that makes two of us.  Listen, when this is all over and the dust settles, I will give you the galaxy." 

 

Rey makes a face.  "No thanks, Kylo."

 

"I will give you a family," he promises.  “We could have a baby.”

 

"A baby?  I’m only twenty, I’m not ready for that," she complains.  

 

"Then what do you want?"  It’s the age old question:  what do women want?  That’s a bigger mystery than the Force as far as Kylo Ren is concerned.

 

But even this woman doesn’t have the answers.  "I don't know,” Rey moans.  “I don’t know and you're rushing me, Kylo."

 

It’s true.  She hasn’t said yes and he’s already moved on to making plans.  "I'm not living on Jakku,” he decides.  Pretty much everything else about their life together is negotiable as far as he’s concerned.  But not Jakku.  “Just so you know, I'm not living in an AT-AT."

 

"Fine.  Whatever,” she agrees.  “Jakku seems like so long ago now anyway.   I'm not that scavenger girl anymore.  Too much has happened.  And that’s the problem, Kylo.  We’ve had more bad times than good ones . . . “  She sighs heavily.  “Anyway, why are we talking about this?  Snoke probably wouldn’t let us be together anyway.”

 

"He will.”

 

Rey shoots him a look.  “How do you know?”

 

“Snoke plans to give you to me when I kill Skywalker."

 

"Snoke plans to what??"  Rey steps back and her eyes widen.  He can sense the outrage rising in her fast.

 

"You are the prize for killing my uncle."  It comes out wrong.  Well, maybe there is no way for that statement to come out right.

 

Predictably, Rey is incensed.  Her eyes flash at him.  "I am not chattel to be traded--I am not spoils of war--some prize to be handed over to the victor!"   She is ready to storm from the room.  And for all Kylo knows, she's about to march into Snoke's gilded audience chamber to express her views.    His fiercely independent Rey will resist their Master determining her fate just as forcefully as she had resisted the slavers on Jakku. 

 

"Rey, wait!"  He grabs at her hand as she makes to rush off.   "Listen!   You’re thinking of it all wrong.  It’s more like receiving his blessing.  He would be giving me your hand in marriage most likely.”

 

“M-Marriage?”  Now, Rey looks truly shocked.

 

“Yes.  Snoke will insist, I’m sure.  He’s very old fashioned about stuff like that.”  Old Darth Plagueis is a stickler for the formalities.  There will have to be a moonlight pledge and a hand slash ceremony in a temple, for sure.   His Master will expect no less than the full Sith tradition with a bloody white dress and sex on the altar.

 

“Oh, my G-Gods!” Rey sputters out.  “I can’t believe this!”

 

He tries to calm her down.  “Rey, it’s not what you think.  Once he gives you to me, I will set you free."

 

"Free?" she echoes.

 

"Yes, free.  If we are together, I want it to be because we both want to be together."   This is how he has always wanted things with Rey.  This is why he brought her back to Jakku even though his every instinct was to squirrel her away at his grandfather’s castle or some other place safe and quiet.   Kylo hadn’t wanted a prisoner for a girlfriend.  He had wanted Rey to choose him.  But instead, she had chosen her family.  And now again, it seems, she isn’t choosing him.

 

"I don't know if I want to be with you!"  Again, her words sting.  "All I know is that I want to go home.  To Jakku."

 

Yes, he knows.  It’s Jakku, always Jakku.  He may end up in an AT-AT after all, Kylo thinks.  He’ll be ruling the galaxy without running water.  And there will be sand everywhere.  Gods, he hates sand.

 

"Okay, Rey.”  Once more, Kylo gives in.  He will never understand how this girl can so easily extract concessions from him.  Kylo Ren has destroyed entire cities that have resisted his ultimatums but he backs down with Rey every time.  “Once you are mine, I will take you home."  He will take her back to Jakku again, if he must.  He owes that to her, Kylo thinks.   And as pretty as Rey is now in her makeup and finery, to him she will always be perfect in her arm wraps and linen rags on Jakku.  The desert she both fears and loves is so much a part of who this girl is.  And, he suspects, it is a source of her strength. 

 

It's a bit like Vader's castle on Mustafar, he realizes with sudden insight.  Because sometimes there are places and people who so profoundly shape you that they become essential.  Maybe that's what it means to go home.  Why home is so comforting and renewing.   For the ordinary among us, home is an apartment with a couple domestic droids, a beat up speeder and tired, smiling faces to welcome you.  But for a Skywalker, nostalgia is a bit different.  Home is where you last saw your wife and where you burned alive.  But it’s also where you lived through it all and emerged stronger for it.  And perhaps that's the true meaning of home.  It's a mix of pain and pleasure, of comfort and torment, of peace and conflict, of hopes and fears.   It's the AT-AT where you starved but persisted, in the desert that might swallow you whole but blooms with flowers, with the wrecks full of the dead you step over and the parts you sell to stay alive.  Yes, he thinks, when the time is right he will take his scavenger home.  And they can go from there. 

 

“Do you mean that?  Will you really take me home, Kylo?”  Rey looks so young right now and so hopeful.  It is easy for Kylo to forget how young Rey is when she’s playing the role of confident Sith princess striding through the halls of Snoke’s bunker.  But in fleeting moments she is so utterly girlish that it gives him pause.   Rey is awfully young for all he and his Master have planned for her.  And maybe that’s all the more reason not to rush things. 

 

“Yes,” he promises.  “Even if Snoke expects us to marry, afterwards I will take you home and set you free.”  He steps forward and pulls her close.  “Rey, I want you to be happy.”  He will risk losing her again if that’s what it takes to make her happy.  "Rey--we—you--"  He’s at a loss for how to tell her how much she means to him.  Kylo Ren is an emotional Sith and he feels deeply.  But he's also a man so he doesn't like talking about it.

 

Rey is looking up at him.  Lips slightly parted and expecting him to finish his statement, but he takes refuge in an impulsive soft kiss instead.  She doesn't resist.  She just stands there.  Breathing.  Staring. And that’s his cue to keep going.  He can’t get enough of this girl.   He starts slowly, nibbling at her lips before he pulls back and dives in to claim her mouth fully.   He is greedy for her kiss. The spark between them ignites and she presses closer, her body melting fast to his.  Rey has her back to the table and he nudges her to perch on the edge so he can better devour her mouth.  That lasts only a few moments before he has her laying back, his body bent forward and nestled between her dangling legs.  And, Gods, this is hot.  Best. Meeting.  Break.  Ever.  His hands roam up and down her body as she groans beneath his kiss.   Her body is softer now.  Fuller and deliciously feminine.  Not that it matters.  He likes his Rey however she is—skin and bones or fleshy and firm.  It’s all good because it’s all Rey.  More to love, less to love, who cares.

 

"I am weak for you," he confesses as he pulls back to stroke a wayward hair from her cheek.  “So weak for you.”  This weakness is why he had agreed to bring her back to Jakku in the first place.  It’s why finding her at the Resistance had ripped his heart in two and he had lost control.  It’s why it had nearly broken him to surrender her to Snoke and why he couldn’t kill her when ordered.   He is weak for this woman and Snoke had seen that right away.  And so his Master has spent the last few months trying to fashion her into a strength.  His Master teaches Rey to walk and talk and act like a princess.  She learns the rudiments of the Force and she watches the Supreme Leader rule.  All so that one day, the uneducated orphan scavenger from Jakku will be at home at the apex of the galaxy.  Rey is being groomed for a future she might not want.  But that doesn’t matter to old Darth Plagueis.  A Sith doesn’t take no for an answer, after all.

 

Except this Sith Kylo Ren.  And only from this woman Rey of Jakku.  For he is weak for her.  Oh, so weak for her.

 

“Oh, Kylo . . .” Rey snakes one leg up around his hips, pulling him closer.  And that intimacy prompts him to reach back to caress her leg and pull her full skirt even higher up her exposed thigh.  She sighs happily and suddenly, Kylo know this is about to get out of hand.  He’s been told flat out no by his Master.  And there’s a conference room full of people next door and in the hallway.  This is not the time or the place for a tryst.   But it’s hard to ignore the lust that has him hard and wanting and the Force that is swirling around them with anticipation.   Just one more kiss, he tells himself as Rey arches beneath him.  One last kiss and this is over.

 

“Boss, sir, we're re-assembled now and ready to . . . oh . . . " The new guy says as he wanders in to interrupt.

 

Kylo jerks his mouth from Rey’s.  "Fuck!" he exclaims.  Why does this keep happening?   He looks up to glare at his knight.  Rey starts wiggling out from underneath him as she hurriedly pulls down her skirt. 

 

Sayeed is standing in the open doorway with a hand over his eyes like some impressionable young virgin at an orgy.  "I didn't see a thing!   Not a thing!" 

 

Instantly Kylo throws his knight hard against the far wall with the Force and holds him there while he closes the door.   Fuming, Kylo looks over to Rey.  She is on her feet now, straightening her dress.  "Do you want to Vader choke him or should I?"

 

Sayeed's eyes widen.  "V-Vader choke?"

 

Suddenly, Rey starts giggling.  Then, she’s full on laughing.   Hard.   He fails to see what is so funny.   Kylo shoots her a quelling look.  Because you're not supposed to laugh at a Sith who's threatening a Vader choke.  It’s disrespectful and it spoils the effect.  

 

"At least," Rey gasps out between hees and haws, “It's not Leader Snoke this time." 

 

And that memory makes him crack a half smile.  But just for an instant.

 

"Oh, Kylo," Rey complains when her chuckles subside.  "Let him go.  There's no reason to be angry with him."  Kylo complies and she walks over to the new guy now.  Rey is grinning ear to ear, he sees.  But Kylo still doesn’t see what’s so funny. 

 

"Hi, I'm Rey," she introduces herself like she’s a scavenger back on Jakku and not Dark Side royalty.  “We met earlier in the infirmary when you were being an asshole.”

 

"Sir Sayeed Hassan, Seventh Knight of Ren," his white faced new recruit stammers as his wary eyes keep darting Kylo’s way.  “You’re the girl with Hux.”

 

"She's Princess Renata to you, kid," Kylo instructs. 

 

"Wait--you're the princess?   She's the Leader's daughter?"  Sayeed Ren looks from Kylo to Rey and then back again.  “Oh, no, I did not need to know this.”   And now the young knight starts backing away slowly towards the door, shaking his head with his gloved hands upraised.  "I get it now.  I didn't see a thing and I won't tell a soul, Boss.  Hux won't hear it from me."

 

“What?”  What does this have to do with Hux?

 

Sayeed shoots him a look that is half impressed, half incredulous.  "That’s real . . . uh . . . bold of you.  Kissing her with Hux in the next room.”

 

“What do you mean?” Kylo is lost in all of this and rapidly losing patience.

 

“Sir, Hux is not going to be happy if he finds out you've been hitting on his girl."

 

What??  "She's not Hux's girl," Kylo growls.

 

Sayeed blinks. "She's not?  Then what . . . uhh . . . never mind . . . "

 

"She's my girl."  Kylo stakes his claim.

 

And is immediately denied.  "I'm no one's girl!"  Rey glares and plants her hands on her hips.  She's not laughing now, he notices. 

 

Kylo shoots Rey a stern look.  "You're my girl."  He turns back to Sayeed now.  "What makes you think she's Hux's girl?"

 

"N-Nothing! N-No reason!"

 

The Force tells him that is a bald-faced lie.  "What makes you think she's Hux's girl?" Kylo demands again.

 

His most junior knight is staring sheepishly at Rey.  “Lady . . . I mean uh . . . Princess . . . uh . . .”

 

"You get one more chance, Sayeed!" Kylo threatens as he raises his own gloved hand in his knight's direction.  "Tell me what you saw or I will find it in your mind myself."

 

"Kylo, don't!   Stop!" Rey wails loudly in a voice that carries.  “Stop!”

 

Now Sayeed starts talking fast, words spilling out in his nervous haste.  "She was dressing Hux in the sickbay when I went to find him earlier.  She had her hands all over him.  I just figured . . . you know . . . they were together.  They were acting like they knew each other so well.   She had her hands all over him."

 

"I did not!" Rey objects. 

 

Kylo turns to her and scowls.  "Rey?  What did he see?"

 

"What??"  Rey gives him a defensive look. "Army needed help with his buttons.  The lightning has fried his fingers.  They're better but still not good for little things."  

 

Kylo gives her a skeptical look.   He’s unconvinced.

 

"What??   Army needed some help, that's all.  And he was late already.  Kylo, you’re blowing this out of proportion.”  Rey glares over at Sayeed.  “He’s blowing this out of proportion.”

 

"Really?  Aren’t there any medics around to help General Hux?   You have to be the one to button his pants?"

 

Rey rolls her eyes.  “Oh, Kylo, don’t be dramatic.”

 

“Well, did you?”

 

“Did I what?”

 

“Button his pants.”

 

“Kylo!”

 

“You did!”  Her non-denial is as good as an admission for him.   Kylo face darkens as he stalks to loom over Rey.  “What else is going on??  Is he coming on to you?  Because I know he wants you--”

 

“Kylo!”

 

Again, with the non-denial.  “Has he kissed you?  I know he’s too weak to fuck you—“

 

“Kylo!”  Rey is angry now.

 

“Well, has he kissed you?  Answer me!”

 

“Yes!” she shouts in his face.  “Yes, he has!”  Rey whirls to march away, but he grabs for her wrist and holds on tight.  They’re not done yet.  She doesn’t get to walk away without some sort of explanation. 

 

Rey is trying unsuccessfully to yank herself free when General Hux bursts in the room. 

 

“Uh oh,” groans Sayeed and Kylo half-turns to find Hux barreling towards him.

 

"Let her go, Ren!  Let her go!"   Kylo lets go and the general demands, “What's going on here?” 

 

"Nothing!  Nothing at all!" Sayeed Ren yelps so unconvincingly that it only draws more suspicion.  Kylo sighs.   That guy is so green. 

 

"You," the general advances on Sayeed.  "Report," he orders with a condescending sneer. 

 

"I don't take orders from you," Sayeed scoffs at Hux.  And it's the first intelligent thing the new guy has said yet. 

 

Now the general turns to Rey. "I heard you yell.  What's going on?"   When she doesn't immediately answer him, the general is annoyed. "I told you to stay away from him!" Hux hisses as he points to Kylo.   The general casts a cold glance over at himself and Sayeed.  "The Ren are undisciplined and violent.  You know that from experience, Rey."

 

"Army--"

 

"Rey, stay away from the Ren.   That's an order!"

 

"She doesn't take orders from you either," drawls Kylo.

 

The First Order’s best general turns slowly towards him and advances.  The room is suddenly quiet and very tense as the two men stand toe to toe.  Kylo feels a swirl of danger in the Force.   That's how angry Armitage Hux is right now.  The Force always moves darkly around someone lusting to kill. 

 

"You don't deserve her, Ren.”  Hux’s voice drips with quiet, cold disdain.  “You used her for the map to Skywalker and then you dumped her back on Jakku.  Put an arrest warrant out that drove her to the enemy for safety.   Then when you find her, you beat her and drag her here for execution.  Were you afraid of a rival in the Force?  I know how much you can't stand competition, Ren."

 

He must look surprised that Hux knows the tale because the general snaps, "Yes, Rey told me what happened.   I got the gist of the truth filtered through her rose-colored glasses.  She might not see through you, but I do.  You're a Sith and so you betray people.  You betrayed the Order when you abandoned us on the Starkiller.  You betrayed Rey by dragging her here to the Leader.”  Hux glances over at her.  “Never trust a Sith, Rey.  Someday, somehow they will betray you."

 

Kylo has heard enough. "When this war is over, you're a dead man," he rasps.

 

"Kylo!" Rey objects sharply. 

 

Kylo whirls to face her.  "You and his father will only protect him so long, Rey.  And then he’s mine to kill," Kylo vows. 

 

“Careful, Ren.  That’s what you said about Skywalker and we’re all still waiting,” Hux gibes. 

 

The comment scores a hit.  Kylo scowls long and hard at his nemesis.  Much as he would dearly love to murder Armitage Hux right here, right now, this is neither the time nor the place.  He’s four weeks out from sacking Coruscant and his Master has already waited far too long for the Sith to once again rule the galaxy.  Kylo Ren values power above all else.  And so he will sacrifice his bloodlust today for the promise of conquering the Core tomorrow.  Still, he seethes as he spits out, “Let's get back to work."


	29. Chapter 29

Today Rey is lingering over breakfast with Milo.  The Supreme Leader has already departed to start his busy day. 

 

Snoke is in high spirits lately, Rey has noticed.  The prospect of achieving his long-awaited goal of ruling the galaxy has the old Sith Master energized and making plans.  He has a shadow government in the works and an extensive list of economic and public policy advisors.  He also has an increasing long list of official audiences now that Mid Rim systems are lining up to preemptively negotiate their inclusion in the First Order.   Princess Renata discretely stands behind the Supreme Leader’s throne to watch it all, a silent witness to the turning tide of the galaxy’s fate. 

 

There is a growing sense of anticipation and excitement.  Vindication, too.

 

The imminent conquest of the galaxy has Snoke busy planning for the future but it has old Milo waxing reflective about the past.  This has been a goal many, many years in the making.  Much has happened along the way.  And Milo has seen it all.  More and more, the circumspect old manservant is sharing with Rey his memories of the past, telling her that she is one of the family now and so Rey deserves to know. 

 

This morning, Milo is speaking of the Sith during the Old Republic times.  A phantom menace, he calls them with a proud look.  Milo tells Rey of how the Sith operated under the very noses of the Jedi High Council and from within the very Senate itself.   This is a history not found in any textbook but it explains quite a bit.  Rey can't help but think that the Sith's Grand Plan is a conspiracy that the crazies on the holonet would love.   Except it’s true.

 

"In those days, the Sith mostly worked covertly,” Milo explains.  “They achieved far more through plots than through violence.  It was more discrete and it had less chance of exposure.  My Master was a businessman of great power and influence in those days.   He could not be connected to violence.  It was the same with Lord Sidious.   He was an elected politician whose public persona during the Clone Wars was that of a reluctant warrior who had been pushed into war.   Sheev Palpatine took pains to portray himself as a man of peace."

 

“Peace is a lie,” Rey recites the beginning of the Sith code.

 

“Yes, it is,” Milo confirms the wisdom of his several Sith masters.  "Our Master likes to say that peace only occurs when conflicts are not yet ripe for violence.”  The dignified old manservant switches now to speaking of his clear favorite, the Master’s eldest son.  “Lord Vader was a very different Sith from Lords Sidious and Plagueis.   Vader had been a Jedi war hero of the Old Republic.  He was a man long accustomed to violence.”  Milo muses a moment, clearly remembering some undisclosed anecdote.  “There was no natural guile in Lord Vader,” Milo discloses.  “He was a very direct man, and he had never been trained in the manipulation and plots of the Sith.   Lord Vader saw no purpose in subterfuge once the Sith ruled the galaxy.  He considered it unnecessary effort for the most part." 

 

“That reminds me of Kylo,” Rey says softly.  The Kylo Ren she knows is never subtle and never patient, two traits necessary for the intricate stealth dealings Milo has described.

 

"Hmmmm . . . yes,” Milo agrees.  “Kylo Ren is very much like his grandfather.  They are both men of action.”  Milo smiles over at Rey as he takes another sip of caf.  “Lord Sidious and Lord Vader were an effective pairing for that reason, Rey.  Lord Sidious pulled the strings and Lord Vader was his enforcer.  Much like Lord Plagueis and Kylo Ren are now."

 

Rey raises an eyebrow.  "So . . . we are getting another pair of tyrants?"  What little Rey knows of the Empire has been filtered through the lens of the New Republic.  Current historians do not look kindly upon her great-grandfather, Rey knows.  But they look even less kindly upon Kylo’s grandfather.  Admiring the Empire had long gone out of fashion until the First Order had come on the scene.    With its weirdly nostalgic nods to fascism and its overtly reformist agenda, the First Order’s pitch is aimed to capture and rekindle the zeitgeist of the Empire.  Things were not as bad back then as you’ve been told goes the argument.  Join us and let’s make the galaxy great again.

 

“Tyrants?”  Milo shrugs.  He has seen two republics and an empire come and go.  "Some will view it that way, I'm sure.  Rey, the Sith do not live by conventional morality.  They are indifferent to most traditional concepts of right and wrong.  But that does not necessarily make them evil.  It makes them different."

 

Yes, Rey knows this.  "Their only God is power."

 

Old Milo gives her a pointed look.  "Their only God is Plagueis," he says softly.   "Our Master creates life, extends life and renews life in the Force.   Darth Plagueis is the only one to achieve that power.  I am one hundred and eighty years old, Rey.  Kept alive in the Force by my Master’s grace and favor.  Thanks to him, I have seen a great deal in my time.  Long have I served the Sith."

 

Rey eyes the calm, understated man who serves as Snoke's personal assistant.  She wonders just how many secrets he knows.

 

"What was Lord Sidious' wife like?"   Rey changes the topic.  She is curious about her great-grandmother. 

 

Milo thinks a moment before he responds.  "She was all the things our Master has told you.  But she was more too.  We are all more than we seem.  Cresta Cole was an acquired taste, but over time I grew to like her.  She was always kind to Lord Vader.  She understood him. I appreciated that about her."

 

"What do you mean?"  Rey wants details.

 

“Vice was her profession and so Cresta Cole had seen a lot of broken and hurting people through the years.  They were her employees and her customers.  Back then as now, the Coruscant Underworld was full of people with sad tales.  Cresta Cole knew one when she saw one.  She knew how to help Lord Vader.”   Milo thinks a moment before he divulges, “Lord Sidious’ wife was a hardnosed business woman.  Very jaded and rough around the edges by choice.  But she could be quietly very kindhearted.”

 

“Tell me,” Rey urges.  For this is all sounding vague to her.

 

“Cresta Cole was responsible for the family castle on Mustafar.  She convinced Lord Sidious to gift it to Lord Vader.  My old Master needed a place removed from prying eyes to nurse his hurts.   It was a retreat of sorts.  He loved it.  He went there whenever he could.  It is Kylo Ren's now.” 

 

Milo is reminiscing about Darth Vader but Rey is more interested in Lady Sidious.  "There's nothing about her on the holonet," she remarks.   Rey knows because she’s looked extensively.

 

The old servant nods.  “My old Master saw to it that Cresta Cole was wiped clean off the holonet.  Her relationship to the Emperor was something akin to a state secret.” 

 

“Oh.  Is that how it will be with me?” Rey dares to ask.  If she ends up the bride of Kylo Ren, will she too be anonymous?

 

"I doubt it,” Milo gives his opinion.  “In days before the Rule of Two, the Sith kept their families secret to protect them from their enemies.  But our Master dispensed with that approach himself decades ago.  Cresta Cole was only kept secret due to her unfortunate profession.  Rey, our Master would not be showing you in his audience chamber unless he expected you to have some form of public role."

 

"Oh."

 

Milo must sense that this prospect intimidates Rey a bit.  He gives her an encouraging look.  "If our Master succeeds and once more the Sith rule the galaxy, there will be much work to be done.  I suspect that we will all be expected to take on new roles and new tasks, Rey."

 

"But I'm just a scavenger," she hedges.

 

"Not any more, Princess."

 

Milo rises to leave now.  As he reaches to collect his datapad, Rey dares to ask, "Is he on the schedule today?"

 

Milo knows that she’s asking about Army.  “No, Rey.  There is no audience for the general today.” 

 

“Good.”  Rey breathes a sigh of relief.  Then she grabs two muffins and heads for the infirmary.  General Hux isn’t there.  He’s in his new office, she is told.  Rey sets out to investigate.  It takes only a few minutes and a few questions to discern its location.

 

Army is alone when she presents herself to knock.  "Hello, Rey.  Come in, come in."  He waves her into the small room and accepts the offered muffins.

 

"New office?”  Rey smiles broadly as she looks around.  “Surely this is a good sign, right?"  A new office and twenty days without lightning torture certainly looks like things are looking up.

 

But Army isn’t so sure.  He makes a face.  "Not really, Rey. The Leader didn't assign this office to me, I commandeered it. This was some senior analyst's desk."  Army gestures to the small photograph of a smiling woman with two school age children that sits atop a nearby shelf.  Apparently, the prior occupant hadn't even been given a chance to remove his personal belongings.   General Hux had marched in here the way he plans to march into Coruscant, Rey sees.   This too had been something of a coup d’état.  "I couldn't work in the infirmary any longer.  The invasion planning is far too sensitive for regular medics to overhear.  Loose lips destroy ships."  

 

“Oh.”  Rey can’t help but feel a bit disappointed.

 

Army sighs and meets her eyes. "Nothing has changed, Rey.  I'm still living in the infirmary even though I am fully capable of living independently now.  Apparently, the Leader wants me there indefinitely.  Because . . . well . . . you never know when . . . "  He doesn’t finish his sentence. 

 

"Oh."  So Snoke wants it to be clear that Army could be back in a bacta tank any day now.  The Leader's punishment might be deferred but it is not concluded.  The ever-present threat is still there.  "I'm sorry, Army."

 

“It’s not all bad news.”  He raises both his hands and starts wiggling his fingers.  And not just at the base, but moving all the individual joints.  "Check this out.  My fine motor movements are coming back now, like we had hoped."

 

"Wow."  This is good news.  Rey walks forward as she matches her palms to his and their fingers intertwine.  This very gesture would not have been possible two weeks ago.  His frazzled nerve endings would not have permitted it.  Rey is grinning happily up at Army now.  "This is real progress," she congratulates him.

 

"Twenty days of progress," he confirms.

 

"And the pain?" she asks hopefully. "It's better.  My hands are much less sensitive now.  Every day it gets better.”  He squeezes her hands again to demonstrate.   “See?  My hands are just a little sore now.” "Good. I'm glad."

 

"I've missed seeing you.”  Army has been in near constant meetings lately.  And when he’s not in a conference room, he’s been on a com call.  Plus, Rey spends entire days now standing in the Supreme Leader’s audience chamber, depending on who is on the agenda that day.  And so, of late, her interactions with Army have been quite fleeting.  Often, just chance meetings in the hallway or five minutes when she catches him on a break.   “I've missed needing your help,” he confesses.  “There are downsides to self-sufficiency.” 

 

“No more button issues?” she giggles, remembering with glee Kylo’s hissy fit. 

 

“Not anymore.”  Army wiggles his fingers again and squeezes tight their interlaced hands. 

 

“Show off,” she teases him with a smile.  But secretly she is thrilled for him.  It had been a come down for this proud man to accept so much help for the daily personal tasks of life.

 

Army steps closer and now they are toe to toe, hands still raised and clasped.  "Rey," Army breathes out her name in an unusually husky voice.  His chin is tilted down and she can feel his breath on her cheek.   Army's lips are mere inches from hers now.  Suddenly, she’s certain that he’s going to kiss her.  And certain also that she will let him. They stand like that for what feels like eternity before Army releases her and steps back.

 

Part of her is disappointed.  Part of her is relieved.

 

"What's new downstairs with the Leader?" the general asks as he studiously begins rearranging items on his already pristine desktop.  

 

Okay, good.   Rey exhales a breath she didn't know she was holding.  New topic.  They can both pretend that almost kiss thing never happened.  

 

"Snoke is very busy during the day building his government.  He has this ‘First Hundred Days’ concept in mind for rolling out his agenda.  The Leader has lots of pet projects to announce.  I think most nights he’s in his office tinkering with his portfolio.  He's planning to make a killing in the markets when the galactic economy reacts to the invasion of Coruscant.   You know old Snoke--he loves credits."

 

“Yes, he does,” Army agrees.  “Leader Snoke singlehandedly financed the First Order for years, Rey.  He is something of a tycoon."   Army flashes her a self-deprecating half-smile.  "I think our Leader was as upset about his negative return on the Starkiller investment as he was about its strategic loss.   He hates losing money as much as he hates losing leverage."   

 

“I think you might be right about that,” Rey agrees, thinking of the old Muun financier who can spend hours in his office watching stock exchange tickers.  It's good that Army can talk and even joke a little about the Starkiller now, she thinks.  That’s a statement on how Army's new role is allowing him to put his past failure behind him.  And it’s also a statement on how close she and Army have become.  

 

It's almost like their argument and the tense confrontation with Kylo were weird bonding moments for them.  Perhaps more meaningful in the end than all the quieter, calmer moments they have spent in conversation.  Because when you argue with someone and don’t walk away, it’s because you are invested in them as a person.  It’s because you care about them that you are able to see past the conflict or at least put it to one side. 

 

If Rey had only seen General Armitage Hux screaming speeches and spouting flippant, too succinct answers on holonet news shows, she would never be in this position.  But Rey has seen Army alone, discouraged and hurting.  Ashamed for his failure, defensive about his decisions, and afraid to face his disapproving father.  And so, Rey knows that behind the unyielding public persona lies a real person. 

 

He is culpable, but with redeeming qualities too.   Army Hux is loyal to a fault, reasonable for the most part, and disarmingly caring at times.  The same man whose political zeal excuses genocide is a man bitterly angered by Kylo's past treatment of her.  Never in a million years would Rey have expected a man who advocates for death camps to champion her cause.   But he does.  

 

Old Milo was right, Rey thinks.  We are all more than we seem. 

 

How does Rey reconcile these things?  She doesn't know.   Maybe it's another way in which Army and Kylo are alike.  For both men are far more complex than their one dimensional public portrayals would suppose.  These men do very bad things in furtherance of their cause.  But are they bad people?   She hopes not.  Because she cares for both of them.   You can love someone, Rey thinks, and still hate what they think.   And maybe even hate what they do.

 

Has Rey been duped into bonding with her First Order captors?   She doesn’t think so.  For the Kylo Ren she knew had set her free and keeps promising to do the same.  And Army Hux is probably more the prisoner/victim here than she is, even if his pride will not allow him to acknowledge it. 

 

Does she have too much empathy then?   Or maybe no standards?  No convictions?  Maybe so.  Maybe she should never have even looked for something good in these men.  That's how her friends back at the Resistance would see it.   Wise old Luke Skywalker would probably have told her to look for the good and to argue for the good.  But then he would have urged her to take a stand and righteously fight against the bad.   He’s a Jedi after all, and the Jedi have always clung to their moral high ground.

 

But all this black or white, right or wrong mindset doesn't feel right to her.   She's Rey of Jakku and she's seen a lot of ugly stuff.  But through it all, she has always looked for the good.  Whether it was searching for flowers in the desert or delighting in the quiet of a Jakku sunset.  Her desert days are long past and now she’s admiring the resilience and resolve of Army Hux.  And recognizing the humanity and aching neediness in Kylo Ren.   Rey has moved from looking for silver linings in circumstances to looking for silver linings in people.  But it’s not that different in the end.

 

Is Snoke the real evil here?  Rey wonders.  He’s the controlling mastermind Sith no one knew existed for generations, with the transcendent view of the Force that rejects tenets of his own Dark tradition as much as it disdains the Light.  He is why Army had struggled to button his uniform and why Rey had been presented for execution.  And he is the Force Svengali who had lured the impressionable young Ben Solo with tales of his secret prophet grandfather whose Chosen One legacy is yet to be achieved.    The will to power of old Darth Plagueis the Wise has resulted in the death of billions.   All to achieve his dream of domination:  to rule the galaxy and to rule the Force.  And, ultimately, to find this elusive concept of balance that fascinates the old Muun but perplexes Rey. 

 

Just now, a video of Kylo Ren flashes up on the Coruscant newsfeed that is playing muted on the screen on the wall.   It catches both their attention and she and Army watch for a few seconds in silence. 

 

"We're almost done with the Mid Rim,” Army confirms.  “Things have really turned around fast.  Faster than even I had thought possible."

 

"It’s all thanks to you."  Rey remembers that awful war council dinner that had preceded the strategy shift.

 

Army smirks.  "Ren hates me now more than ever."  He says this almost proudly and that worries Rey.  

 

She gives him a pointed look.  "Army, that's not a good thing.  I remember what Kylo said in that conference room." 

 

The general just shrugs.  "Ren has been promising to kill me for the past ten years at least.  He's all talk.  That was just more of the same."

 

Rey isn’t convinced.  The Kylo Ren she knows is not all talk.  The man who has stormed the Mid Rim and laid waste to entire worlds is not all talk.  Maybe he might have been in the past, but not anymore.  "He sounded very serious, Army.  It scared me."

 

Again, the general shrugs.  "I’m above his pay grade.  Leader Snoke will decide my fate, Rey.  Not Kylo Ren."

 

That raises a sore subject.  A very confusing, sore subject.  "Leader Snoke will decide my fate too," she reveals softly.  Glumly. 

 

Army's ears perk up.  "What do you mean?"  He frowns at her.  “Is something amiss?”

 

"I shouldn't have said anything," Rey realizes belatedly.  She doesn't need to add to the animosity between Kylo and Army.  It's just that Army is her only friend and shouldn't she be able to tell a friend about what's bother her?

 

"Are you in trouble with our Leader, Rey?"  Suddenly, Army looks very concerned.  

 

"No."

 

"Then what is it?"

 

"I shouldn't have said anything . . . "

 

“It’s too late for that,” Army informs her.  But then he softens his stance and his tone.  "You can tell me, Rey. I already know about Luke Skywalker and your time with the Resistance.   What can be worse than that?"  He’s serious, not teasing. 

 

"It's Kylo," she sighs. 

 

Army’s brow furrows and his eyes narrow. "I told you to stay away from that guy--"

 

"It's not that simple, Army."

 

"Why not?" he demands.

 

"Because of Snoke."  And that’s basically the answer to everything in the First Order.  Snoke’s whims are law.

 

"Is Ren bothering you again?" Army complains.

 

"No, no, he's not."

 

"Then what's the issue?"

 

Rey sighs and looks away before she reveals the truth.  "Kylo says that when he kills Skywalker, I am the prize."

 

"What?"

 

"When Kylo Ren kills Luke Skywalker, Snoke plans to give me to him."

 

"What??"

 

"He says Snoke will probably make us marry."

 

"What???"

 

"I'm too young to get married, Army," Rey moans.

 

Army has a different perspective.  "You'll never be old enough to be Ren's battered wife!” he snaps.  “Does the Leader know he beat you?"

 

"I assume so. I arrived here black and blue, Army."

 

The general is fuming and Rey can almost see his mind considering what she has revealed.  "This is about the Force, isn't it?  Snoke wants more Skywalkers, doesn't he?"

 

"You know about that?"  Rey looks up sharply.  Very few people know the truth of the Skywalker clan outside. 

 

"Yes,” Army hisses.  “I know who Ren really is.  I know who he is to Leader Snoke.  Nepotism and the Force are what made Kylo Ren what he is today."  This may well be true, but it doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that she might end up the bride to a Sith prince, whether she consents or not. 

 

For his part, Army looks horrified.  And slightly devastated for her.  "Oh, Rey, I'm sorry.  I'm so, so sorry."

 

She nods and suddenly her eyes are watery and she lets loose a suspicious sniff.  Thinking about this upsets her.  Because while Rey of Jakku has never had much control over her life, she has always been free.  Maybe even a little too free, needing a guiding hand and wanting a parent figure to help her.  And so the thought of being a pawn in the plots of the Sith scares her.  And the prospect of joining the dysfunctional Skywalker clan is daunting indeed.   A wayward tear escapes one eye and Rey brushes it away furiously.  For if she lets a few tears fall, the flood that she is holding back may rush forth as well.  

 

"Oh, Army," she rushes fast into his open arms.   "I feel so trapped." 

 

There are times when Rey thinks that she and Kylo might actually work out fine together as a couple.  After all, this was something she herself had longed for once.  But then all the old doubts creep in and Rey becomes resentful at being handed over like some slave girl Snoke might own.  It’s one thing for her and Kylo to decide to get married.  It’s another thing for it to be forced upon her.  But this might be her path to freedom if what Kylo promises is true.  It’s all very confusing.  And with Kylo off to war, there hasn’t been an opportunity to clear the air.  Not without contacting him in the Force again.  And Rey is loath to start that again.

 

"I hate that you are his," Army says with quiet menace as he gently strokes her back.  “Ren doesn’t deserve you.”

 

"I am trapped and I hate it."  Her voice is muffled as she speaks into his chest.

 

Army steps back now to look at her.  "Defy them, Rey," he suddenly goads her.  It's a sentiment that is extremely out of character for this man who has obediently withstood months of torture.   "Kiss me, Rey.  Defy the Sith and kiss me now."

 

Rey looks up and into his handsome face and nods.  Then, Army's lips find hers.  

 

She closes her eyes and revels in the feel of it.  It is sweet mixed with tart.  For she is compliant to him as she rebels against her Master.   Safe in these caring arms, Rey risks her heart and her future.  In the end, it only adds to her confusion.

 

Kissing Kylo Ren is hot, dangerous and thrilling.  The Sith are ruled by their passions and they do nothing by half measure.  They are all in, all the time.  And that means things escalate fast.  A simple kiss one minute has you laid on your back on a conference table seconds later.  Or you flirt a little to help a friend and the next thing you know he's asking to take you to bed.   He's got you smashed against the wall or pinned beneath him because dominant is a Sith's default setting. 

 

Kissing Army Hux is different.  He holds you like the princess you are pretending to be.   He waits to give you a moment to pull back, like you might actually get to say no.  Then he lets you come up for air and he doesn't shove his tongue down your throat.  Army acts like your kiss is a gift and not his rightful due.  And when it ends, he pulls you close and lays your head on his shoulder as he laments. 

 

"I wish things were different for us," he whispers into her hair.

 

"Me too."  These words slip out her mouth as Rey thinks them.  Because she hates how Army has been treated.  And she hates this strange rivalry between Army and Kylo that now extends to include her.  Rey knows that she is just one more issue in a long string of conflicts between these two men.   And this foolhardy kiss has done nothing but complicate matters.

 

When viewed from afar, Army and Kylo are more alike than they are different.  Both are very ambitious, confrontational, and zealously committed to their cause.  General Hux can be as arrogant, petty and disdainful in his own way as Kylo can.  And Army is just as violent as the Sith.  Only Army's violence is arms' length--he commands others to kill rather than kill himself.  The general doesn't like to get his hands dirty with combat. 

 

And that's the tip of the iceberg for how different these men's personalities are.  Army is fastidious and high maintenance.  He would never have munched on scrounged snacks in her AT-AT.   And it's hard to imagine the general ever getting his uniform dirty, let alone prowling around old wrecks.   It might ruin the shine on his boots.  Army Hux is a thinker, not a doer, as he claims.  A cerebral, thoughtful, intellectual man.  It is in stark contrast to Kylo Ren, a man of action who leads by example and tends to act first and deal with the consequences later.   And so, the general values training and structure whereas the Sith values experience and talent.  The general places his faith in planning and analysis and the Sith places his faith in leadership and the Force.  They are on the same side and their differing perspectives ought to complement one another.  But instead, they are in conflict. 

 

And now with her, they are in conflict.

 

"I wish I had been the one to find you on Jakku,” Army tells her.  “I wish you had never gotten mixed up with Ren."

 

This is a nice sentiment, but it's a scenario Rey knows would never have occurred.  Army Hux would have never given her Jakku self the time of day.  He would have disdained her as a local peasant.  And had she arrived on the _Finalizer_ to Army, he would have had her arrested and interrogated like the Resistance fugitive Rey had appeared to be.   No, she thinks, Army Hux would never have met Rey of Jakku without Kylo Ren.

 

For like so much else in Rey’s life, from her miserable childhood to her rediscovered heritage and her newfound status, it all comes back to Kylo Ren.  Even before she had ever met him, Kylo had exerted a lasting and profound impact on her life.  In both good ways and bad.  Rey doubts that she could get away from Kylo now if she tried.  And she’s not sure she wants to.  She’s not sure of anything these days.


	30. Chapter 30

The official audiences have run long and late today.  Recently, the schedule has been jam packed with supplicants to Supreme Leader Snoke, many of whom wish to express their allegiance through endless flattery.  The Leader, of course, listens patiently through it all.  Today's news from the war front has provided ample opportunity for extra congratulations.   All of the critical Mid Rim systems have now been subdued.  The last remaining holdout has today announced its surrender. 

 

It is a milestone for the war effort and a great accomplishment given how not long ago this region had been in a stalemate.  A month to the day since Snoke had convened his war council dinner, the First Order has won the Mid Rim.  General Hux's strategy to focus overwhelming force on a handful of key systems combined with Kylo Ren's battlefield prowess have proven victorious.

 

Soon, the push for Coruscant will begin. 

 

Snoke is always gracious to defeated systems, Rey has noticed.  He welcomes them to the First Order and promises a rosy future in between elegantly veiled threats.  But today he is in an especially optimistic and magnanimous mood.  It is rare to see the Supreme Leader so satisfied.  And that's why his command to her comes as a surprise. 

 

"Daughter, bring me General Hux."

 

Rey gulps.  Not now, she thinks.  Please not now.  Army is almost his old self again after a month-long reprieve from torture.  He has a spark in his eye and a spring in his step that reveals a man who has rediscovered his confidence and his purpose.   He is the galaxy's foremost general again, back fighting for his beloved First Order.  While the memory of the Starkiller disgrace still clings to Hux, his recent astonishing success is an impressive counterbalance.

 

Rey hesitates and Snoke raises an eyebrow silently.  

 

"Yes, Master," she nods and hurries off.

 

Army isn't in his office.  He's in a large and crowded conference room.   Every eye turns to Princess Renata as she enters to stand on the threshold.  The conversation stops.   All twenty men drag themselves to their feet in respect for Leader Snoke's adopted daughter. 

 

"Rey."  The general says her name in a hushed tone.  Everyone in this room calls her princess except for General Hux.   And that casual address has not gone unnoticed.   Perhaps it's the stricken look on Rey’s face, but he instantly sees that something is wrong.   

 

"Army."  Rey responds with the nickname that betrays them as intimate friends.  No doubt adding fuel to the speculation that this princess is a large part of why the general had survived his defeat.  "You have been s-summoned," she says in a halting, quiet voice. 

 

Army visibly swallows and then nods.   He turns to the man at his side.  "Carry on.  Finish getting through all five of these scenarios before you break.  We need a solution to the contingency where the enemy retains control of the major spaceport.”

 

“Yes, Sir.”

 

Every eye now watches the general cross the room to follow Snoke's princess out.  These senior commanders all know that the Leader has remained at arm’s length from the intensive invasion planning.   Not once has the Supreme Leader interacted with Army since that awful war council dinner. Snoke reads reports and receives briefings, but those come from his Apprentice at the front and not from his general down the hall.  It is a not so subtle signal of his continuing displeasure with General Hux.    And so, this summons is unusual.  And foreboding.  For in the aftermath of every other recent summons, Armitage Hux has been carried out of the room.

 

Rey and Army walk in silence to the Leader’s audience chamber.  The preceding interview is concluding as they arrive.  That leaves her and Army in the vestibule alone for the minute or so it takes for Snoke's majordomo to await the prior guests' dismissal inside the chamber. 

 

Rey reaches to clasp both his hands.  "Army, you can get through this.”  She’s trying to say comforting words both for him and for her.  Rey is filled with dread just now.  She has a bad feeling about this.  “You can get through this,” she urges again.

 

"I know."  Army looks so resigned as he says this.  Disappointed too.  Today had begun in victory but now it will end in defeat.   

 

"I will be there tomorrow and the next day.  And I will be there when you wake.  I promise."

 

He nods.  "Thank you."

 

"It will be okay.  He still needs you, right?"

 

"Yes."

 

“Then it will be okay.”  The Sith are nothing if not pragmatic, Rey knows.  Snoke won’t want his best general out of commission during his most critical battle. 

 

The door slides open now and the prior group exits.  Trailing them is Leader Snoke himself.  It's unexpected, and so the Muun catches them standing hand in hand in the corner as Rey whispers her encouragement. 

 

"Daughter," he says and Rey startles. She drops Army's hands and approaches to fall to one knee in the traditional obeisance to a Sith Master.  They have an audience of the departing delegation and Rey will give Snoke no cause to find fault with her today.  She wants him in the best mood possible.

 

"My Master."

 

He walks over to raise her and pats at her arm.  "Thank you for fetching the general.  This won't take long, Princess.  Await me downstairs.  The hour has grown late and we will dine soon."

 

"Yes, Master."

 

She watches warily as the Muun beckons Army forward and with him into his audience chamber.  Then the door slides shut.

 

* * *

 

As requested, Kylo Ren is presenting himself at Snoke’s command bunker to report the news of his victory in person.   But he is delayed.  There are not one but two planetary shield gates to pass through and even the First Knight’s command shuttle must suffer the rigorous security protocol.  The ramp of his ship is barely down when Kylo strides forth with Nestor Ren at his side.

 

The First Order now essentially has control of the Mid Rim, including the major world systems and all critical hyperspace lanes.  There are still systems attempting to remain neutral and a few who outright proclaim allegiance to the enemy, but for all practical purposes the First Order dominates the Unknown Territories, the Outer Rim and the Mid Rim.  The Sith now rule two-thirds of the galaxy.   And counting.

 

There is spontaneous applause as the First and Second Knight, the heroes of the Mid Rim, make their way through the crowded corridors of the bunker.  He and Nestor exchange glances and grin.  Hopefully, Kylo thinks, his Master will be equally as impressed. 

 

As together they approach Snoke’s audience chamber, they find Rey standing in the vestibule wringing her hands.  Is she waiting to see him?  If so, Kylo’s day just got even better.

 

“Hello Rey.”

 

She barely glances his direction, so focused is she on the closed door.   Clearly, she’s not here to see him.  He should have guessed that was the case.  Still, a guy can hope. 

 

“What’s the matter?” Kylo asks as he slides up next to her, his helmet tucked under one arm.   Rey seems very uneasy.

 

“A-Army is in there.”

 

Fuck.  “Really?”  Really??  Now??

 

“Yes.”

 

“I need that guy,” Kylo growls out his displeasure.  What the Hell is Snoke thinking?  “We can’t have him in bacta tank while we invade Coruscant.”

 

“Tell that to Snoke, Kylo.  Please,” Rey appeals to him.  “Please.  He will listen to you.”

 

“I will tell him,” Kylo agrees.  The revenge of the Sith for the Starkiller can wait a little longer, he reasons.  At least until after Coruscant.

 

“Go right in, Sir,” Snoke’s majordomo gestures him forward.  Kylo nods and waves the door open with the Force.  He steps inside leaving Nestor behind with Rey.

 

* * *

 

 

When the audience chamber doors slide shut behind Kylo, it's just her and the brawny knight who had helped Army to the infirmary.  He’s the same guy Rey had run smack into a few weeks ago.   The knight smiles over at her but Rey doesn’t reciprocate.  Maybe she ought to make an effort to be friendly to Nestor Ren, but Rey isn’t in the mood right now.  She is far too preoccupied with what’s going on inside that room.  It’s got her on edge.

 

"Kylo was hoping to see you."   The affable knight says this offhand but quickly looks over to gauge her reaction. When Rey says nothing, Nestor Ren keeps talking in that friendly, easygoing way of his.  "Yeah . . . he could use a smiling face these days.   It's been very ugly at the front lately."

 

"I can imagine," Rey says tartly.  She’s seen the holonet reports.  Things were brutal in the Mid Rim.  "What with killing all those noncombatants and all . . . "

 

"It's a war.  People die," Nestor reminds her, sounding very much like Kylo.  But Nestor Ren is defensive as he keeps speaking. "Look, I don't like killing women and children.  None of us do.  And don’t forget that this was your buddy Hux's strategy.  Fewer worlds with maximum slaughter."

 

"I know," she says softly. 

 

Rey has hit a nerve on the usually chill Nestor Ren.  "I've got a wife and kids of my own, Princess.   I don't like killing innocents.  Starkiller Hux might not care but some of us do.  But we are the guys who follow orders, not make them.  In this war, every target is a military target."

 

“I know,” she repeats herself.  The topic prompts Rey to ask, "Is your family someplace safe?"

 

"They will be safe soon.  I'm leaving tonight to evacuate them."

 

"From where?"

 

"Coruscant."

 

"Coruscant?  Really?"  Rey had not been expecting that response.  The elites of the First Order are mostly sons and daughters of Imperial Exiles who left the Core for the Outer Rim and the Unknown Regions thirty years ago. 

 

"My father in law is a retired Senator of the New Republic.  From back in the days the capital was on Coruscant and not on Hosnia.  He's still there and so is my family."

 

Rey blinks at this reveal.  "A First Order knight is married to a Senator's daughter?"

 

Nestor Ren nods at her reaction. "Yep.  Leader Snoke made broad and deep inroads into the New Republic years ago.  Senator Ono is just one example.   He is deep undercover, so to speak."

 

"Senator Ono??"  Now Rey is incredulous.  “Senator Octavian Ono is your father in law?”  Rey had never followed politics back on Jakku but even she knows the name Octavian Ono.  He's a statesman of the New Republic and a calm, center-right conservative voice.   A temperate, thoughtful leader admired for his ability to compromise.  This is a guy who has schools and parks named after him on Core Worlds.   And he’s in Snoke’s pocket?

 

"Yep.  That’s the guy."

 

"Octavian Ono is secretly First Order?"  Rey is still wrapping her head around this revelation.

 

"Yep."

 

"Wow.”  She is impressed.

 

"There are a lot more sleeper sympathizers out there.   High profile ones like Ono.  Once we win, they will reveal themselves.   They will start the coalition building to bring along others.  When a man like Octavian Ono publicly embraces our cause, it will provide the political cover for other moderates to declare themselves too.   Snoke has it all thought out, Princess.  He's one step ahead of all of us."

 

“Yes, he is,” Rey has to concede.  The Muun Sith is as devious as they come.

 

"Our supporters are quietly being evacuated out of the Core now,” Nestor tells her.   “Especially Coruscant.  Cesi and my girls are about to take an extended trip to see family in the Outer Rim."

 

"Oh,” Rey says this because she isn’t sure what else to say.   “Well, nice to see you again, Nestor.  I should be going.  The Leader asked me to wait for him downstairs.”

 

“I’m headed that direction,” Nestor offers.  “I’ll walk with you.”  And while Rey isn’t much interested in the company, it would be churlish to refuse.  Sure enough, Kylo’s second in command keeps talking as they wander towards the elevators together.  Along the way, people keep flashing Nestor the First Order salute or a thumb’s up in congratulations for the Mid Rim.  This is something like a victory lap for Nestor Ren, she sees.   

 

"I went with him to Jakku," Nestor tells her quietly. 

 

This gets her attention. Rey stops and stares for a moment.  "You went to Jakku?  Kylo went back to Jakku?"

 

"It was right after the Starkiller and raid on the Illenium base.  Kylo was worried when he couldn't contact you."

 

"The Resistance took my comlink," she gripes, still bitter about that circumstance.

 

"Yeah?  Well, they melted Kylo's with a blaster bolt.   He kept it on him at all times--did you know that?   The boss took a shot to the side that destroyed the comlink in his pocket."

 

Rey resumes walking briskly and Nestor keeps pace at her side.  "As soon as the battle was done, he headed for Jakku.  The galaxy was in chaos and Kylo was desperate to find you.  But you were gone."  They are at the elevators now.  Nestor Ren turns to her as he presses the call button.  "I saw that walker, Princess."

 

She looks away. 

 

"I've known Kylo Ren for years.  Never has he been into a girl before.  He fell hard for you, Princess."

 

Rey refuses to meet his eyes as she marches into the empty elevator.  She wishes this guy would go away and mind his own business.

 

But Nestor follows her in.  "The boss searched and searched.  Did Kylo tell you that?   When he was ready to give up, I was the one who convinced him to issue that warrant.  The arrest warrant was my fault—don’t blame him.   But even that didn't work.”  Nestor shoots her a sideways glance.  “He pined for you.  He pretty much decided you were dead after that.   Either dead or the slavers had found you."

 

Rey is defensive as she mutters, "I didn't want to join the Resistance."

 

"He didn't know that.  We went to break you out of a cell, Princess.  Never did he ever guess you were there voluntarily."

 

The censure in the knight’s tone angers Rey.  Who does this guy think he is?  "What's your point?" Rey demands.  She doesn't want to rehash this.   Least of all with some guy she doesn’t know who is clearly the self-appointed captain of Team Kylo.

 

The beefy knight looks her in the eye.  "The point is that you hurt him.  You hurt him badly.   Even a Sith has feelings.   Maybe even more intense feelings than the rest of us."  Nestor shrugs.  “The Sith are supposed to be intense and moody.  It’s their thing.”

 

"It wasn't my fault."   Rey doesn’t know why she feels compelled to defend herself to this guy, but she does. 

 

"It wasn't his fault either. Shit happens, Princess.  Especially when there’s a war going on.  Maybe both of you could have made better choices.  But this is how it turned out.  And there was wrong on both sides.”

 

“What’s your point?” Rey demands again.  She’s getting impatient with this nosy knight’s attempt at a tough love pep talk.

 

"Listen, I hope you're good enough for him, Princess.  It's not easy to be Kylo Ren and it’s going to get a lot harder once we win.  Kylo needs a supportive girl he can depend on.   I think it’s great that you’ve got the Force and all, but it’s more important that you love him.  That guy has plenty of Force and plenty of power.  What he doesn’t have is enough people who care about him.”

 

“And what about me?” Rey gripes as the elevator doors open.  “What about what I want?”

 

The knight holds the door while she marches out.  He stays inside.  “Kylo Ren is crazy about you, Princess.  Don’t be a fool and throw that away.”  Then the doors shut and Rey is alone.

 

* * *

 

 

As Kylo stalks into the audience chamber, he sees General Hux inside waiting.  Hux is on his feet and there’s no telltale acrid smell of Force lightning.  It looks like Army Hux will get off easy this time.  And that’s just as well.

 

“Welcome Apprentice, I have been expecting you.”  Snoke beckons him forward.

 

“Master.”  Kylo takes a knee beside the general who stands at rigid military attention. 

 

“Arise, Kylo Ren and tell me news of my war.”

 

This briefing is anticlimactic and largely for show.  Kylo had personally communicated the Mid Rim news to his Master by message earlier today and then it had spread like wildfire on the holonet newsfeeds.  Leaked by the First Order PR team, no doubt.  But his Master is a stickler for the formalities, and so important news—be it good or bad—must always be delivered in person.  Today’s briefing is well received, of course, but even Snoke's praise has an edge to it.  The old Muun looks both men over coolly before he announces, "Congratulations, Apprentice and General.  I am most pleased by your victory.  It is better late than never."

 

It’s my victory, Kylo corrects to himself as he flexes his left arm.  It is fully healed now, although it is still stiff and a bit weak.  The conquest of the Mid Rim had nearly cost him an arm.  Here’s hoping the conquest of the Core won’t cost him a leg too. 

 

His Master must sense his thoughts because the Muun shoots him a look. "Come now, Kylo Ren.  Give credit where credit is due. This was a joint effort.  General Hux's adjustments to your strategy were integral to the outcome.  You will concede that this is true, yes?"

 

"Yes," Kylo grumbles.

 

“And a brilliant strategy on paper is worthless if it is not executed on the battlefield.  Am I correct, General?”

 

“Yes, Sir,” Hux likewise responds to Snoke’s verbal prod.

 

"Gentlemen, you do not have to like one another to work successfully together.  Apprentice, Darth Sidious and I plotted the Clone Wars and Sheev Palpatine could not stand me.   We did not let our petty differences impede our common goal.  A Sith lets nothing divert his interest from the pursuit of power, even personal disagreements.” 

 

“Yes, Master,” Kylo endeavors to appear dutifully contrite.

 

With that lecture over, Snoke moves on.  “While I punish failure," the elder Sith shoots Hux a sideways glance, "I also reward success.  In war, as in business, results matter."  The Muun rises from his chair and walks down the dais to stand before them.  "General Hux, my gratitude has earned you a continued reprieve from punishment.  You are granted some additional days to regain your strength.  We will have further need of your best advice.  Rest up, General."

 

Snoke looks expectantly at Hux who salutes and speaks the obligatory, "Thank you, Supreme Leader, Sir."

 

Crafty Old Darth Plagueis turns to him now.  "Apprentice, my gratitude has earned you a rare prize.  A rare prize indeed.  She is waiting downstairs."   

 

"She?" Kylo raises an eyebrow. 

 

"Yes, she."  A slow, wide grin spreads across Snoke's face.  "I am giving you our fair Sith princess for tonight."  The Muun pauses to let that news sink in.

 

Kylo's eyes widen.  Rey?  He’s letting him have Rey? 

 

At his side, he senses Hux stiffen and his anger immediately flare. 

 

Snoke’s grin grows wider. 

 

"My boy, you have been hard at work at war for months now.  It is time you took a short break.  Stay tonight.  Dine with me.  I insist.  You are overdue for some relaxation."

 

"Of course, Master.  I would be honored."  This is an offer Kylo cannot refuse, after all.  

 

The elder Sith gives him a stern look now.   He clarifies in no uncertain terms what a night with Rey entails.  And it’s not a dinner date.  "Apprentice, I must insist that you be gentle with Rey, for my Sith daughter is precious to me.  You may use her as you see fit, but you may not harm her.  Is that understood, Apprentice?"

 

"Yes, my Master."

 

Hux's outrage is radiating out in the Force.  The general says nothing but his clenched jaw and two clenched fists say it all.  He is apoplectic. 

 

Snoke being Snoke, he can’t resist turning the knife he has just plunged deep into Hux’s heart.  “I will be disappointed if I see our princess at breakfast tomorrow morning, Apprentice.  It will tell me that you have not adequately enjoyed your reward.”  His Master says this with such cruel glee that Kylo nearly laughs out loud.   If Hux wasn’t Hux, Kylo might actually feel sorry for the guy right now.

 

“I value my princess highly.  You will both exercise utmost discretion in this matter.  I will not tolerate either of you upsetting her with the details of our discussion tonight.  Sometimes, what a woman doesn’t know can’t hurt her.”  With that admonition, Snoke waves Hux away.  “Congratulations again, General.  You are dismissed." Hux dutifully salutes and retreats fast from the room. 

 

When the door has shut behind him, Kylo openly smirks and catches the Muun’s eye.  His Master returns the expression.  But then he gets back to his favorite pastime:  teaching.  "Take a lesson here.  There are many ways to punish, Apprentice.  General Hux's body needs to heal.  But in the meantime, we will torment his soul.  The general is in love with your princess.   He will suffer more pain tonight than my lightning could ever inflict.  And no amount of morphine will take the edge off."

 

With Hux is gone and his Master’s little performance is over, Kylo now speaks openly.  "Master, are you really giving me Rey?"  Kylo is one part pleased and one part horrified by this turn of events.  Because he and Rey are not exactly on easy terms and because he doesn’t like the idea of his girl being treated like this.  Not that he’s refusing.  But still . . .    This doesn’t sit well.   “This might not be a good idea . . . ” he suggests weakly.

 

Snoke starts walking for the door and Kylo keeps pace beside him. “Come, let’s go down to dinner.  I am famished,” the Muun declares as he ignores the comment.  “Even listening to one’s own praises becomes tedious after a time.  I am ready for some wine.”

 

"Master--" Kylo tries again.

 

“The correct response for this gift is ‘Thank you,’ Apprentice.” 

 

Kylo dutifully responds, “Thank you, Master.”

 

"You are most welcome.”  Snoke now gives him a meaningful look along with an implicit challenge.   “Kylo Ren, you will never seduce anyone to the Dark Side if you cannot seduce a woman.   Consider this training, if you must.  Now, let us head downstairs.  We should not keep a lady waiting."

 

When together they enter the Sith’s private lair, Rey is looking anxious.  "Ah, there you are, my dear."  Snoke gives her a broad devious smile.  Kylo recognizes that look.  The old Sith likes nothing so much as corruption of innocence.  Poor Rey thinks she’s just showing up for dinner. 

 

She eyes Snoke with a mix of trepidation and disapproval.  "What happened with Army?"  In her nervousness, Rey blurts out her friend’s nickname. 

 

Snoke lets that informality slide.  "My dear, there is no cause for alarm.  The general is headed back to work now.  I merely wished to congratulate him on his success.  General Hux is redeeming himself of late.  We are all very proud of his efforts."

 

This news and Snoke's patient, placating tone reassure Rey.  She is visibly relieved, much to Kylo's annoyance. 

 

"So no lightning?" Rey wants to be clear.

 

His Master smiles.  "No lightning.  Go and see your friend tomorrow morning, Rey," he purrs.   "I insist.  See for yourself that the general is fine."

 

Rey brightens at this prospect.  She's wholly ignorant of how Snoke is torturing poor Hux.  "Thank you, Master."   She grins girlishly and the old Muun smiles back. 

 

"That's better.  I like to see a smile on your pretty face, Princess.  Plus, tonight we are celebrating a victory and we have our gallant war hero to welcome home."  Snoke is laying it on thick.  His jovial Master turns to him and nods his approval.  "It has been far too long since our Sith family has dined together."

 

Yes, Kylo thinks.  Not since that awful, awkward dinner party.  And here they are again ready to repeat the occasion.    Together, the trio sits down to dinner in Snoke’s small dining room.  It doesn't take long for Kylo to realize that Hux is not the only one Snoke is playing games with.  His Master is fucking with him too tonight. 

 

No reward is worth this, Kylo scowls to himself.  Then he looks up to catch the curious look on Rey’s face.  She is lovely tonight in blue.  And, yes, she is worth it.

 

Snoke turns to Rey, “Pour us the wine with the Force, my dear.  And let us begin with a toast to the Sith.”


	31. Chapter 31

 

Unsuspecting Rey is in a happy mood at dinner now that Snoke has relayed the good news that Hux didn’t get fried.She is so obviously relieved and grateful that part of Kylo wants to cringe on her behalf.The other part of him is green with jealousy and wondering if Rey would act the same if he were in the general’s position.Seriously, what does his girl see in uptight, prissy Armitage Hux?

 

His Master is equally as merry, keeping up a steady stream of conversation on a wide range of topics.He and Rey are very much at ease with one another, Kylo assesses.Behind closed doors, the Sith is relaxed and casual and Rey is loose too.She hangs on the Muun’s every word and his Master treats Rey like a pet student.Somehow it has a strange chemistry that works.

 

They are both having fun and Kylo is the silent, self-conscious odd man out.That is both unexpected and weird.Well, everything about this evening is weird, he thinks.

 

"Eat, eat," Snoke cajoles Rey like a nagging grandmother.She’s been pecking at her food."You are far too slim."

 

This must be an old argument, much rehearsed because Rey shoots back, "This is positively chubby for me.You should have seen me on Jakku."

 

“She was pretty skinny,” Kylo contributes.

 

"That is the past.You will never be hungry again," Snoke assures her. “I have never liked skinny women.You need more flesh, my dear, for good health and beauty.”

 

Rey simpers now and Kylo hates it."Does that mean??" she wheedles.

 

"Yes, go ahead," Snoke sighs and waves a hand in the air.“Go ahead and get one.”Rey leaps up to disappear.When she darts back in moments later she has one of those blue protein muffins he remembers from Jakku wrapped in a napkin.It looks like something someone pulled from a First Order ration kit.

 

Snoke eyes it with distaste and shudders.“How horrid.”

 

"I'll share." Rey offers his Master some muffin with a teasing smile.

 

He declines. "Food should be a pleasure. And that," he eyes the muffin suspiciously, "is not pleasure."

 

Snoke and he continue their elegant dinner while Rey enthusiastically tears apart her ration muffin, washing it down with wine.Snoke keeps refilling her glass until she boldly puts a hand over it.“Save the rest for yourself, Master.Otherwise, I’ll be under the table soon.”

 

“Very well, my dear,” Snoke relents as he shoots his Apprentice a covert wink.It’s a bizarre gesture that tells Kylo how much his Master is enjoying this little farce he has set up.Poor lovelorn Hux agonizing all night long, himself slightly intimidated by his command performance for seduction, and clueless Rey grateful to the Muun responsible for it all.The official audiences this afternoon must have been boring indeed, Kylo surmises, for the conniving Muun to have spent all afternoon thinking up this evening’s machinations.

 

It is all so Darth Plagueis, Kylo knows.As usual, the crafty Sith has managed to achieve multiple goals at once.Kylo recognizes that his victory today is impressive enough that his Master wants to keep him humble by reminding him who is boss. He gives him Rey for the night as a reward but the implicit threat remains that what Snoke gives he can also take away. Hux is being punished for the Starkiller again but probably also for daring to covet a Sith’s lady.But still, the general will be perfectly fit to continue his command.And Rey?Rey is the pawn used to control them both.For once Kylo had delivered his girl to his Master and revealed his weakness, Snoke was never going to kill her.She was too useful to kill.Plus, she has the Force and she’s a Palpatine.

 

He observes Rey now, sitting with one leg tucked under her bottom and her elbows on the table.That his stickler Master tolerates this casual demeanor reveals how charmed the Muun is by Rey.Kylo is both bemused and slightly alarmed that Rey has his Sith Master so wrapped around her little finger.Rey looks so confident tonight, he realizes.And it's very attractive.

 

For years, Kylo himself had played Rey’s current role.Pouring wine with the Force at a nightly dinner while listening to his Master teach and ramble on.Snoke remarks on it and that’s when the evening takes a turn for the worse.

 

"So . . . " Rey leans forward in her chair to ask Snoke, "What was Kylo like when he lived here?"

 

Kylo shifts in his chair.His teen years are not his topic of choice.

 

Snoke looks positively gleeful at the question. So Kylo rushes to insert himself for some preemptive damage control.No one is their best self at fifteen. "I was awkward and angsty like every other teenager."Well, on second thought, he might have been more awkward and angsty than the average teenager.

 

His Master agrees."Terrible complexion.He needed a mask. That boy was all ears and nose. And skinny.Very skinny.Hardly intimidating at all."

 

"Not anymore.Now he's very intimidating," Rey remarks somewhat loyally.Rey glances over and Snoke catches the look between them.Being called scary counts for flirting with a Sith.The Muun shoots him another wink and Kylo suppresses the urge to groan aloud.

 

"So what was it like to be a teenage Apprentice?" Rey turns to him now.

 

He shrugs, anxious to downplay his formative years.The less said about them the better, as far as he is concerned.He wishes they would move off this topic.But dutifully, he answers."It was about what you might think.Lots of training and Kittat.Lots and lots of Kittat."

 

"What's Kittat?" Rey asks.

 

"The ancient language of the Sith," nerdy old Snoke says with pride."Much of my library is written in Kittat and old Aurebesh.Kittat is a beautiful language.I will teach it to you, Daughter."He looks indulgently at Rey and Kylo suddenly realizes that his Master truly does like her. And it occurs to him that Snoke has missed having someone around to teach.

 

Rey considers Kylo’s answer."So . . . lots of books.That's not what I would have guessed being a junior Sith would be like."

 

Snoke raises an eyebrow. "What were you imagining?Do tell."And knowing Snoke, he’s desperately hoping it’s something lurid.

 

Rey thinks for a moment."I don't know, I guess something like no homework, unlimited holonet porn, all-you-can-eat junk food, and no curfew?"

 

Kylo makes a face and Snoke busts out laughing.And that makes Rey laugh too."Is that what Skywalker told you?How typical.If that were Sith training, every fifteen-year-old boy would sign up.We would be overrun with Darths."

 

"So it was all work?" she asks, still chortling.“No fun?”

 

"Oh, there were hijinx, my dear, there were hijinx."And now Kylo really wishes they would leave this topic."My very young Apprentice stole my cruiser once and took it to Coruscant.There it was impounded for unpaid back taxes."

 

"You don't pay your taxes?"Rey seems surprised.

 

"I do not recognize the taxing authority of the Republic."Snoke now begins reminiscing about his beloved cruiser as Kylo squirms in anticipation of the story he knows is coming next."She was coated in chromium gilt with curves like a woman.I kept her in mint condition.She was Mon Calamari, not Corellian, so she was built to last.A collector’s item from the day she was manufactured.So, of course, she caught the attention of the docking cops who started checking her registration."

 

"Chromium?That sounds beautiful," techie Rey gushes."Like those old Naboo ships.Was she fast?"

 

"Fast?No, not by current standards.Her hyperdrive wasn't fast but it was smooth.You never felt a jump or reversion in my cruiser."Well over a decade later, it seems that Snoke is still angry.He glares with eyes narrowed across the table at Kylo."I miss that ship."

 

"What happened after the docking cops seized the cruiser?How did you get home?" Rey asks this to Kylo but his Master answers.

 

"He didn't.I found him in a jail cell in the Coruscant Underworld."

 

Rey is intrigued.She turns to regard him and Kylo feels his face flush. "You got arrested?? Mr. Law and Order?" She grins across at Snoke. "Do tell!Please!" she urges.

 

"My seventeen-year-old Apprentice got himself arrested for solicitation."

 

"Of drugs?"

 

Snoke hesitates now to give his words the full effect and Kylo fights the urge to roll his eyes."Prostitution."His Master draws out every syllable and Kylo feels his face flush even brighter red.Rey and his Master are enjoying this retelling of his youthful indiscretion way too much.

 

Rey laughs so hard she nearly falls out of her chair like she had once on Jakku. "Prostitution?" she gasps out between giggles.And Kylo fails to see what is so amusing.

 

"What?" he protests, attempting to make light of the situation."It was the Underworld.That was the point—sex and drugs."

 

"You are supposed to be shocked, my dear," Snoke tells Rey in mock reproof.

 

But Rey is no shrinking violet. "I'm not shocked.I'm from Jakku, remember?We had hookers on Jakku."

 

Snoke finishes his fourth glass of wine and pours himself another before continuing the tale.“The Coruscant authorities did not charge him for the death stix they found on him.Apparently, my Apprentice was more successful in procuring drugs than he was in finding female companionship."

 

"I used the Force to get out of the drug charge," Kylo reminds his Master as if this is a point in his favor.

 

Apparently not, for the Muun intones without enthusiasm, “You used the old Jedi mind trick to do so.“

 

"But why not use it to get out of the prostitution charge too?" Rey asks innocently.

 

Kylo scowls and reddens once more. "I was a Sith Apprentice and rusty on my Jedi skills . . ."

 

“Back then, he was a novice at both picking up a hooker and using the Force,” Snoke chimes in. "Young Kylo couldn't keep his concentration for a second try. By then, he was terrified."

 

"Of you?" Rey guesses.

 

"No, of his mother.They found his identification, looked up Ben Skywalker Organa Solo, and called his then Senator mother to fetch him.My Apprentice had not seen his mother since he flipped Sith.Solicitation was the least of his sins to account for."

 

"OOoooooo.I would have liked to be a fly on the wall for that conversation," Rey teases Kylo.

 

"As would I," Snoke agrees with a smirk.

 

“Your mother is formidable.Kylo, I would be scared too,”Rey admits.

 

"Agreed.She’s a bitch," he observes bitterly.

 

Snoke is the only holdout on this opinion. "You unfairly malign the woman. Give my granddaughter her due.She is very effective.Effective women are too often called bitchy.I do not honor her accomplishments, but give the woman her due.She’s a Skywalker through and through."

 

"You've always liked my mother," Kylo grumbles.

 

Old Plagueis looks strangely reflective now. "I like each of my progeny in some respects.Even if they detest me."

 

"So who got there first?" Rey wants to know. "You or General Leia?"

 

"Neither,” Snoke answers.“The Hutts run the Underworld.I paid them to pay off the cops and my Apprentice was released."

 

“But not the ship?”Rey asks.

 

“But not the ship,” Snoke growls his confirmation.Because, yes, he’s still mad.

 

"And then what?"

 

"He atoned for his sins," Snoke says with a ridiculous amount of relish like he is some mustache twirling cartoon villain.And that's not exactly how Kylo remembers it.Snoke was as angry about the lost cruiser as he was about the Jedi mind trick.But he hadn't cared much about the drugs or the woman.In fact, if memory serves him correctly, his Master had taken him to a respectable whorehouse a few weeks later to get laid for the first time. But Rey doesn't need to know that.

 

Kylo sighs audibly.Hux isn't the only one his Master is fucking with tonight.Snoke is enjoying humiliating him way too much and he has a very willing audience in Rey.All things considered, Kylo might choose lightning over this dinner.

 

“Was that the worst of your escapades, Kylo?” Rey asks with a twinkle in her eye.

 

“Yes,” he says emphatically.

 

“Wrong.”Snoke overrides.“But it’s the worst we can share in mixed company, my dear.There are things a respectable woman ought not to hear about.”

 

“Boys will be boys?” Rey laughs.

 

“Precisely.”

 

Kylo thinks a moment.Suddenly, he knows exactly what his Master is referring to.It has to be Nestor’s bachelor party.And, yeah, that was pretty wild.“That was a long time ago . . . “

 

Snoke just chuckles and then volunteers wickedly, "There was the time he killed Milo's cat . . . "

 

This story?Kylo makes a face.“She doesn’t care about a cat.”

 

"Milo had a cat?"

 

The Muun nods."A much beloved cat."

 

Kylo is annoyed now."It was a very old cat.As old as Milo."

 

"Maybe in cat years," Snoke counters. "But it was very much alive until you came along.Milo loved that cat.What was its name again?"

 

"Chancellor Valorum," he groans.

 

"Why did you kill his cat?" Rey asks, looking scandalized.And who knew she was an animal lover?He would have figured Rey of Jakku to be more likely to eat a cat than to like a cat.

 

"It was an accident.And that cat made me sneeze.It bit too.It was not a good cat.”That cat got what it deserved.

 

Snoke is the one to explain."My Apprentice froze the cat in the Force after it bit him.Only he froze it too much and too long.Chancellor Valorum suffocated, alas."

 

"I was still learning that trick . . . " Kylo mutters. "It was an accident."

 

"He then attempted to revive the cat using the Force."

 

"It didn't work," Kylo sighs.

 

"At the time, I gave you points for ambition," his Master recalls."But to cheat death is a power only one has achieved.Such mastery of the Force is not," Snoke glares at him, "for a cat.Poor Milo was so upset."

 

"How could you tell?" Rey asks and Kylo can’t decide if the question is serious or in deadpan.

 

"He raised his voice," Snoke recounts gravely.

 

And that is the punchline to the story as far as Rey is concerned.Clearly the thought of dignified old Milo shouting impresses her greatly."Wow.That was awful, Kylo.Just awful."

 

He scowls at her censure and reddens.

 

Snoke piles on."Indeed," old Plagueis intones with a smug, saintly look. “May the Force be with you, Sith kitty.” But the old Muun can’t quite keep a straight face and soon he's grinning.Now Rey is laughing and looking like she might fall out of her chair again.

 

He looks from Snoke guffawing to Rey immersed in a giggle fit and Kylo has heard enough.This was a long time ago, it was an accident, and it was a cat."We offered to get him another cat," he says stiffly.

 

"On the condition,” Snoke wheezes out between choking laughter, “that Chancellor Valorem's successor . . . would not be named Chancellor Palpatine."

 

Whatever.That’s not really very funny."Milo refused," Kylo concludes.Done.Story over.Time to move on.

 

"Milo said . . . “Snoke sputters out, “that he would not get another cat unless I found another Apprentice."

 

"Well, who could blame him?"Rey observes.

 

Yes, Kylo decides, lightning would definitely be preferable to this dinner.This is all designed to throw him off his game, he grumbles.Here he is about to put his best moves on Rey tonight and she's going to be thinking about a dead cat named after a dead Senator.Who can romance a girl while she's secretly laughing at him inside?Rey is supposed to be impressed by all his dangerous Dark warrior allure, but instead she'll be thinking of his loser teenage self.

 

She will too, he knows.Rey is the girl who dented his helmet and makes cracks at his threats.She is not an easy girl to impress.Familiarity breeds contempt, apparently even where the Sith are concerned.Rey had laughed the last time he was being all Sithy, Kylo remembers.It had been annoying and deflating.

 

He's Han Solo's kid, like it or not, and he grew up watching his Dad's outsize bravado.His mother would never admit it, but she loved it.Women always love it.But all this oversharing by his Master is undercutting Kylo’s swagger big time.

 

With his damage done, Snoke retreats from the scene.“Well, I will leave you two young people to finish dinner.I have some trades to place before the markets close on Muunilinst.”

 

“Bacta again?” Rey asks.

 

“Durasteel,” Snoke answers as he stands to his feet.“After the war, there will be increased demand for construction supplies for rebuilding.I make a lot of credits off war, Princess.”The crafty Muun looks over at him now.“I will be working all night, Apprentice.Do not bother me.Rest.”And then the towering Sith glides from the room.

 

Kylo looks over to see Rey wiping at the aftermath from her tears of laughter.He sighs.This is not how he thought this day was going to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably going silent for about a week. leaving town tomorrow for a super long girlfriend's weekend. won't be taking my laptop.


	32. Chapter 32

Kylo looks visibly relieved when Snoke leaves dinner and it’s just them.  The Apprentice has had enough embarrassing stories and needling by his Master, Rey sees.  Now that Snoke is safely gone, Kylo takes a long drink of wine and announces, “He likes you.  A lot.”

 

“Do you think so?”  Rey cocks her head.  She isn’t sure.  “I wonder if he really likes anyone.”

 

“Of course, he does,” Kylo scoffs.  “Don’t believe all that crap Skywalker has told you about the evil Sith and the Dark Side.  There’s more to us than killing people.  We are not the solitary, suffering creatures the Jedi portray.  For centuries, the Sith hid out in the open in everyday life.”

 

“Yes, Milo has told me.”

 

“Things were different back then.  The Jedi dominated and so the Sith operated with subtlety.  That’s how old Snoke became a master at manipulation.  Back in those days, our Master couldn’t just call in an air strike when someone ticked him off.  Things had to be resolved with more finesse.”

 

“There was nothing subtle about the Starkiller,” Rey points out.

 

“These are different times,” Kylo says, as if that explains it all.  “Are you done?”  Rey nods.  “Good.  Leave all this for the droids.  Let’s go find my old room.  For all I know, Snoke has made it an annex to his library.”

 

She follows Kylo down the hall to one of the extra bedrooms.  “Here we are.” 

 

Rey looks around.  “This looks like my room.”  She’s a bit disappointed.  She was hoping to get another glimpse into Kylo’s youth.  But there’s nothing personal about what Rey sees.  This room could belong to anyone.

 

Kylo raises an eyebrow.  “Just what were you expecting?”

 

“Oh, I don't know,” Rey answers as she plops down on the bed to survey the generic guest room.  “Pod racing posters and magazines with Twi'lek girls laid out across the hoods of vintage landspeeders.  Isn't that what teen boys are into?”  

 

“I was a nerdy kid.  Back then, I was into the Clone Wars.”  Kylo looks a bit sheepish now.  He ducks his head and his long bangs fall forward over his eyes.  “Are you disappointed?”

 

“Yeah, a little.”  She's teasing him.  Rey smiles across at Kylo leaning up against the wall.  “I think I would have liked teenage Kylo,” she decides.   She’s picturing an earnest, awkward boy full of equal parts promise and angst.

 

“Yeah?”  He sounds almost hopeful and it makes her smile some more.   This Sith is strangely needy despite all his swagger.

 

“Yeah,” she confirms.  She gives him a knowing look now.  “I think I've seen teenaged Kylo before.” 

 

“When?” he challenges, crossing his arms.

 

“Joy riding in your shuttle to flip off the bridge of that capital ship.”

 

“Oh, yeah.  That.”  He grins and flushes.  “That was pretty immature of me.  I guess you heard a lot tonight about how juvenile I could be.”

 

Is he embarrassed?  He is.  Kylo Ren is embarrassed.  And that’s sort of endearing.  “Oh, don’t be embarrassed.  Even a Sith is young once.  You've seen my past.  Now, I've heard about yours from Luke Skywalker and from Snoke.  We're even, Kylo.”     

 

Truthfully, Rey likes seeing these sides to him.  Milo was right when he said that we are all more than we seem.   Kylo Ren is a warrior prone to violent tantrums.  But he is also a leader who had stood solemn and contemplative amid the Jakku battle wreckage.   He's the brutal Sith who slaughtered his Jedi classmates and wants to kill his uncle.  But he is also the hero who intervened when no one else would to save her from slavers.   He is like Army's father had once said of Snoke--cruel and kind.  It's an apt description of the Sith, she thinks.  They live by their own rules.  They are their own men.  

 

“Skywalker talked about me?”  His eyes narrow and Kylo looks worried now.  "What did he say?”

 

Rey shrugs.  “It wasn't flattering.  Mostly, he and your mother kept warning me that you would kill me.”

 

Kylo pushes off the wall and approaches her now.  He’s suddenly very serious.  “I will never hurt you, Rey.   Never again,” he vows as he comes to a halt before her.  Kylo is sincere, she sees.   And while she believes he means what he says, she’s not sure she believes Kylo can follow through with it.  Because having seen this Sith enraged before, Rey thinks all bets are off when his temper is invoked. 

 

When she doesn’t respond, Kylo frowns and keeps going.  “I regret that I hit you, Rey.”

 

She nods and looks away.  “I understand why you did that.”  That doesn't make it right, but she understands it better now.   “I hurt you.  I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I did.  I see that now.”

 

“I hurt you too.”  He twists his face.  “I have a temper.”   Kylo admits this like it’s a secret and not something the whole galaxy knows. 

 

Enough about that.  Rey changes the topic.  “Are you leaving now?  Back to the Mid Rim?”

 

“No, I'm staying tonight.  Here in my old room, I guess.”

 

“Oh.  Really?”  Rey pops to her feet now that she realizes she lounging on Kylo’s bed.  In all the months she has been here, Kylo has never once stayed the night.  He always drops in for a few hours and then disappears.  The man keeps a punishing schedule, Rey knows. 

 

“Yeah.  It’s been a long time since I have stayed here.  I’ve been living on a star destroyer for years now.”

 

“I’m jealous,” she remarks and they exchange smiles.  “Your star destroyer sure beats my old AT-AT.”

 

“I love that you love my star destroyer,” he chuckles. 

 

“It’s a sweet ride.  And it’s fully functional, unlike my AT-AT.” He’s flexing his left arm again and that prompts her to ask, “Kylo, is your arm truly healed?  I keep seeing you stretching it.  Does it hurt?"

 

"It's healed.  But it's stiff and weak,” he complains.  “I need to do the rehab the medics suggested, but there’s hasn’t been time.  These days, there’s only time for war and meetings about war.”  

 

Kylo looks tired and that sounds like her cue to leave.  "Okay, well get some rest like Snoke said.  Goodnight."  Rey heads for the door.

 

"Wait."   He grabs for her hand.  "Don't leave.  Not yet."

 

She turns to give him a questioning look.   He’s still holding her hand and he tugs her back to him.

 

"Stay.  Talk to me some more."  

 

He flashes that crooked half-smile she likes and how can Rey say no?   Kylo Ren is not the classically handsome Armitage Hux.  He has a long nose, big ears and a lopsided smile.   It's a collection of features as imperfect as he is.  And as distinctive.  He shouldn't be handsome and yet he is.  Heartstoppingly handsome with a pull that can feel magnetic at times.  For he draws her in.  Since that first day when Kylo had stood silent at the prow of the _Inflictor_ bridge, he has drawn her in.  Looking up into his flashing dark eyes, Rey is drawn in again.  

 

“Okay, Kylo,” she instantly agrees.  "What should we talk about?"

 

"Anything but war," he answers automatically.  And for a moment, his young face looks old.     

 

"Alright," Rey says softly.  "It's the rainy season this time of year on Jakku.  It will rain for about five minutes once a week.  You know what that means . . . "

 

"Flowers."

 

"Yes.  I'm missing the flowers this year."

 

"You really miss it, don't you?"

 

She nods.  "I miss the freedom of Jakku, Kylo.  And the expanse of the desert.  This bunker is small.  And I have never sat so much in my life.  This place is just so . . . so . . . different.  I’m different here."

 

Suddenly, he looks very serious again.  "You are safe here, Rey. It's very dangerous out there now."

 

He’s right, and so she concedes, "I know.  I watch the war news on the holonet with Army.”  She’s seen the devastation, lawlessness and refugee migrations that have been caused by civil war.  You don’t have to be at the battlefront to get caught up in this conflict.  “Well, goodnight, Kylo."  Once more, she makes to leave.

 

“Wait.”  Again, he catches her wrist.  "You can't leave without giving me a goodnight kiss," he protests with another crooked half-smile.

 

This time Rey isn’t swayed.  She shoots him a look. "Kissing you leads to all sorts of trouble, Kylo."

 

His response is a husky drawl.  "Yes, but you keep doing it.  I love that you keep doing it."  He steps forward and half-pleads, half-commands, “Never stop doing it, Rey.”

 

"Snoke is down the hall in his office trading," Rey warns as Kylo steps even closer.

 

"Nah, he's busy with his slave girls.  When he doesn't want to be disturbed, it's because he's with his girls."

 

She should have guessed.  "You know about them?"  Rey doesn't know why she is surprised about this, but she is.

 

Kylo grins.  "Everyone knows about Snoke and his beauties.  All the guys upstairs line up to get an eyeful when Milo brings in the newest ones or escorts out the old.   You've never seen so many guys who just happen to be on the landing pad and in the hallway.  There’s a young lieutenant everywhere you look."  Kylo smiles down at her.  “Of course, those slave girls aren’t half as pretty as you, Rey.  Now, kiss me.”

 

And that anecdote reminds Rey about the close proximity of Snoke's manservant.  "Milo is down the hall too."

 

"Milo is probably watching those holonet gameshows he loves.  He gets so into those shows, he wouldn't notice if the Resistance bombed this place.  And Milo won’t be scandalized by a kiss.  No one will care if we steal a kiss."

 

Kissing a Sith rarely ends with a kiss, Rey knows from experience.  Things escalate fast.  You kiss him and then you're in bed together.  And, before you can think, he has dragged you into the epicenter of his galactic civil war with his family.  He's got his sword at your throat and his Master is deciding your fate and things get very complicated.  It's best not to kiss a Sith, Rey decides, even as she stares up into Kylo’s dark eyes.   His gorgeous, intense and flashing dark eyes.  Their eyes lock and she cannot look away.

 

“Kiss me, Rey,” Kylo urges as his lips descend fast on hers.  And now Rey is doubling down on her past mistakes.  Here she is again, back in Kylo's arms.  She knows better, but it's not stopping her.  His Dark power swirls around them in the Force, at once menacing and inviting.  For that is the trickery of the Sith. You recoil from them, maybe even fear them, but they draw you in all the same.  For there is a heady romance to their daring ambitions, a sexy lure to their need to control, and a breathless thrill from surviving their threat.  Kylo Ren is so dangerous, Rey thinks.  To the galaxy and to her heart. 

 

As his arms reach to pull her closer, skittish Rey scoots back and comes up for air.  "Well, goodnight,” she pants, her heart pounding and chest heaving.   For the third time, Rey makes for the exit.

 

Again, he grabs for her hand.  "What's your hurry?  We're not done yet."

 

Rey glances behind her to the closed door.  "Snoke will be in here any minute now."  He's going to sense them in the Force, she thinks.  Because the Force feels jumpy and nervous around them, with a sense of urgency and imminence.  But maybe that's just Rey's own thoughts coloring her perception.   Because suddenly, she’s jumpy and nervous too.

 

Kylo dismisses this concern.  He steps closer and gets back to business nuzzling her ear.  "Snoke won't care."

 

This man is so distracting that Rey can barely think to argue, "He cared last time when he caught us,” she whispers.

 

Kylo starts dropping little kisses down her jawline.  "He was just fucking with me that day.  Like he was fucking with me tonight.   Snoke loves to fuck with people."

 

"I don't know . . ."  Rey steps back.  She’s starting to get worried that Kylo has far more than kisses in mind.  This man is intense and aggressive and part of her wants to submit.  To revel in her surrender and let him have his way.  Kylo might claim that he is weak for her, but he too has a hold over Rey.   She is weak for him in ways she would never admit.

 

"I'm going off to war, maybe to never come back," he chides her.  "I want a proper goodbye.  Send a soldier off to war with a beautiful memory.  I may be dead to Luke Skywalker tomorrow but I can die happy with the memory of your kiss."  He cups her face now with both his hands, tipping it up.  “Kiss me, Rey.  Kiss me like you mean it.”

 

She shoots him a skeptical look at this grandiose speech.   And that ruins the moment.  He drops his hands.  "Oh, get over here," he complains reaching to yank her towards him. "Forget the romance. Grandpa Snoke won't care," he tells her with confidence.  "He's probably having a threesome with his Twi'leks right now."

 

"Ugh.  Gross."

 

“Agreed.”  Kylo gives her a long, lingering kiss and before long he's back to romance.  Because pragmatic as they are, the Sith are nothing if not high minded, starry eyed dreamers.  "I'm not him, Rey," Kylo promises.  "I only want you.  Just you in my bed.  I have been faithful to you.  I will be faithful to you.  You are my lady and I am your Sith.  We'll be together forever in the Force."

 

"Kylo--"

 

He silences her with another kiss.   Each one more dangerous and urgent than the last.  They have always had this sparking passion.   When Kylo's lips find hers, she loses all rational thought and things escalate from there.  "Stop fighting it," he rasps.  He's panting now like she is.  "Stop fighting me.  We are destiny."  And that's the closest you get to ‘I love you’ from a Sith.

 

Kylo slips behind her to unzip her dress.  It parts and falls away with his help.  Because, as she had suspected, Kylo wants far more than a goodnight kiss.  He’s a Sith and they always want more.

 

"Kylo, stop--"  He ignores her.   Now his lips are sucking the crease where her neck meets her shoulder as he reaches to undo her bra.  "Kylo . . . "   She squirms as it too falls away.  "I'm not doing this . . . we’re not doing this . . . “  Again, he ignores her.  His hands find her breasts to tease and pinch at her nipples as she gasps aloud.  This is fast getting out of hand.  Rey feels the heat pool between her legs as her traitorous body keeps responding.

 

"Don't pretend you don't want this," he goads as he slips an exploratory hand around and down the front of her panties.  

 

"But Snoke--"

 

"I'll handle Snoke.  He won't care--"

 

"He will--"

 

"Then, I will accept the consequences."  His hand is driving her wild down there.   Rey arches beneath his beguiling touch, shifting her hips to coax his touch to the right spot.  And, oh yes.  Right there.  "You are worth some lightning, Rey," Kylo whispers into her ear like some fallen angel sitting on her shoulder.  Tempting her into seduction.  "You are absolutely worth it.  I'll fry for you, babe."

 

"Kylo," she moans and half turns in his arms.  Because what the Hell?  She can’t say no to this man.  Not when she’s already naked and panting in his arms.  His mouth captures hers and again she willingly drowns in his kiss.  Rey is barely aware when his hands shift to find her hips and push down at her panties.  They drop down to join her dress and bra on the floor. 

 

He gives her a hard slap on the ass.  "Get on the bed.  We're doing this how you like it."

 

Rey is naked as she scrambles up.  Kylo is still completely clothed except for his helmet and gloves.  But that's all the foreplay either of them has the patience for.  She’s ready and, after a cursory unbuckle and unzip, he’s ready too.  Soon Rey is on the bed on all fours with Kylo kneeling to thrust into her from behind.  Hard.  This isn't slow, leisurely lovemaking.  They will get to that later once the initial frenzy of passion is spent.  But first, Rey gets ravished by the Sith. He has both hands gripping her hips with strong fingers that bite into her skin.  She has her head up, her back arched and her hair streaming.  He grunts with his effort and his weapon swings to brush the outside of her hip. 

 

It's been a long time since they did this.  But it's just as amazing as Rey remembers.  The pleasure of the feel of him inside is hard to describe.   It's a friction that has her muscles tensing even though she is utterly relaxed. 

 

"Kylo--" she wails and he pauses to grab her arms and pin her back against him as he rams himself up and in. "Shhhh," he teases before finding his rhythm again.  “Quiet or they’ll hear you on the landing platform.”  But she can’t help herself as loudly she moans out again, "Kyyyyloooo."  It’s one big slur of pleasure.  

 

"I forgot how damn loud you are," he mutters.  He slaps a hand over her mouth now, fingers accidentally slipping inside as she gasps in surprise.   Then he renews his efforts even harder, as if daring her to stay quiet.

 

He is deep in her body with the cold steel of his sword slapping against her hip and a restraining hand across her mouth.  And all around them, the Force rages.  Sex, the ever-present threat of violence, and the Force.  It’s very Sith. 

 

Kylo remembers just how she likes it.  Soon, the intensity of Rey's pleasure cannot be denied.  Her mind begins to dissolve into the Force as her body convulses.  With eyes shut in wild abandon, unthinking Rey bites down hard on his fingers.   The pain must set him off because now Kylo is the one roaring.  Hollering in her ear that fuck yeah she is everything as he rams his body home in slow, emphatic thrusts that only make her cry out louder.  She is his scavenger princess and he is her Sith.  No other man will ever have her.  Because she belongs to Kylo Ren.

 

Rey is overcome and falls face first to the bed.  When finally she rolls on her side and opens her eyes, Kylo is lying facing her.  "Rey," he whispers as he reaches up to stroke hair from her face.  “You are amazing.”

 

She blushes.  “So that was a goodnight kiss, eh?”

 

He grins.  “Give me ten minutes and I’ll be up for another goodnight kiss,” he promises.

 

Rey laughs and sits up, eyeing his uniform.  “You are overdressed for round two.”

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.”  And now he too sits up.  Kylo starts pulling at his surcoat and then the tunic underneath.  As he shrugs out of his clothing, Rey’s eyes find the scars on his left side from where shrapnel had penetrated deeply.  His left arm must have borne the brunt of the blast injury, she sees.  It is a mess of small pock mark scars surrounding the thick still red scar above his elbow.  His arm looks to have been nearly severed. 

 

"Oh, Kylo."  The words escape her fast as she stares hard at the evidence of the serious, painful wound.

 

“It’s healed,” he assures her.  “But if Nestor hadn't been so quick with the tourniquet, I might have bled to death.”  Kylo looks a little self-conscious about the scars.  "It's ugly, I know.  But it works."   He shrugs with a forced nonchalance.  "What they say is true:  war is Hell.  It hurts people and it leaves scars."

 

“Yeah.  You’re right,” Rey agrees.  War leaves scars you can see and scars you can’t.  And it changes things in ways you don’t anticipate and can’t control.  Rey thinks back now to the ships graveyard full of bodies back on Jakku.  The site of their first, improbable meeting.  When Light met Dark on Jakku over a year ago, something happened.  And over time, subtle things have changed.  She's now a little Darker, more accepting of his violence and ambivalent about his ambitions.  He in turn is a little Lighter, more vulnerable to hurt and genuinely contrite for his transgressions against her.  They have changed one another, if only for each other.   They are both different now as a result.

 

“I’ll be happy when this war is over,” she confesses softly.  “However it ends, I will be happy that it’s over.”

 

“I understand,” he tells her solemnly.  “In some ways, so will I.”

 

When he’s as naked as she is, Kylo lays down beside her and pulls her close.  He strokes her hair and she sighs contentedly.  This is the best part of sex, she thinks.  After the pleasure comes the closeness. 

 

“We are good together,” he tells her.  “We are good for each other.” 

 

“In bed?” she chuckles.

 

“Well, that too.  I meant with our clothes on.   You're good for me, Rey.” 

 

“Mostly, we argue,” she reminds him.

 

But he’s fine with that.  “I like that you argue with me.  I don't need another subordinate.  I need a girl who can stand up to me.  And you need a guy who will stand up to you.” 

 

"Am I really that overbearing?"

 

“No, but you are strong willed.  That's a good thing in a woman.”  Now his hand stops petting her and his head comes up.  “So tonight means no more kissing Hux," he informs her in a tone that means business.

 

"Yeah?"  Rey plays it cool.

 

"Yeah.   That's an order, Rey.   No kissing Hux.  No flirting with Hux.  No hugging Hux.  Well, really, it would be best if there were no Hux."

 

"Okay," Rey snuggles deeper into his shoulder.  "No kissing Hux unless the Resistance gets you.  If you’re dead, Army can be my goodnight kiss."  She’s teasing him and he takes the bait.

 

Kylo scowls and half sits up.  "Even then.  You can do better.  If I catch you with Hux, I'll come back to haunt you as a Force ghost."   He thinks a moment.  "Nestor will fix you up with a good First Order guy.  Someone responsible and capable.  Someone like me, just not as good.”

 

Rey rolls her eyes.  This Sith is competitive in all things.  "Nestor said you searched for me.”

 

“Yeah?”  Kylo is annoyed.  “What has Nestor been telling you?  That guy loves to meddle.  He’s like an old woman sometimes.”

 

“He said that you were upset when you couldn't find me on Jakku.”

 

“I was.  I thought I had lost you.  Rey, I never want to lose you again.”  He sits up fully now and he’s abruptly serious again, as is his habit.  Kylo Ren vacillates between casual chat and serious declarations in a way that can make her head spin.  He’s never boring, that’s for sure.  “Say that you will marry me.  Be mine.  Not just for tonight but for forever.”

 

There he goes again being intense.   “Is the Jedi dead yet?” she complains.

 

“No.”

 

“Then why are you asking?”  This issue isn’t ripe yet, and he needs to stop pushing.

 

“I'm fine with an engagement,” he decides.

 

“You're rushing things.”  You’re rushing me, she thinks.   And if she is ever going to get comfortable with this future Mrs. Kylo plan he and Snoke have cooked up, Rey needs time.  Time to get used to the idea and time for her and Kylo to rebuild what they had back on Jakku.   Tonight is a start.  But there is still a long way to go.

 

“I’m just planning ahead,” he counters.  “Give me something to fight for, Rey.   Someone to come home to.  Be my wife.  Be my Light.”  His eyes are searching hers now and Kylo looks so vulnerable.   This Sith is such a contradiction.  So bold and scary to the galaxy at large in his anonymous mask and black uniform.  But beneath it all in private, so needy and absurdly young for his responsibilities.   The common thread through it all is that Kylo Ren is demanding.  He wants what he wants and he’s not afraid to ask for it.  Well, really, just to take it.  He’s a Sith and he can take whatever he wants. 

 

Rey decides to stop talking.  She rolls over on top of Kylo and starts kissing her way down his chest.  Undressed, Kylo is so unmistakably male with rock hard muscles and a smattering of chest hair.  She loves it.

 

“This is nice but are you going to answer me?” he complains. 

 

"Shhhh . . . "  She keeps kissing lower and lower. 

 

“Rey, are you going to keep avoiding this topic?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

Rey keeps kissing lower and lower still until she finds what she's looking for.  Now his hands sink into her tangled hair and he groans aloud her name in a throaty growl.  "Rey . . . Oh, yes . . . "

 

She busies herself as he shifts beneath her and his breath catches.  "If this,” he pauses to moan, "is how we are going to argue, then I am definitely marrying you."   He gives a throaty chuckle that's both sexy and annoying.   "Oh, baby, yeah!   And I am picking a fight every day.   Every fucking day, Princess."  Kylo being Kylo, he’s cocky and competitive again as he revels in her attentions.  “I need Snoke to walk in right now.  Come see this, Master.  Come see your Princess sucking my--”

 

Rey looks up.  "Stop talking," she orders.  "Stop or I'll stop."

 

He shuts up fast. 


	33. Chapter 33

When Rey wakes in the morning, Kylo is gone. For a few seconds as her mind retreats from sleep, Rey is confused and wonders whether last night was just a vivid erotic dream. But as she wipes her eyes and sits up, she realizes that she is not in her room. 

Her dress lays in a puddle on the floor. It starts a trail of shoes, bra and panties that leads to the bed she lays on. Rey stares a moment at the discarded clothing and then pulls her knees up to hug at them. And now, she becomes aware that she is a mess from her thighs down to her knees. It is the aftermath of a wild night of sex that had gone on and on. Like three days straight in the Finalizer compressed into one stolen evening. 

No, last night had most definitely not been a dream. Rey blushes at the details she remembers.

She doesn’t regret last night. But she wishes that she and Kylo could have spent more time alone together before jumping back into bed. These days, their time together is fleeting and they are rarely alone. Everything feels especially intense and compressed in this wartime context. It’s an artificial reality, she knows. This isn’t how normal people conduct a relationship. They go on dates and hang out together and spend time with one another. They are not relegated to making out in conference rooms and speaking small talk before witnesses when they meet on the landing platform. Kylo’s repeated marriage offers are not helping matters. He’s just adding more pressure to the situation. 

Rey is coming to grips with their past history. She’s not keen on his choices and, honestly, she wishes she had the opportunity to revisit a few of her own. But they are moving forward past that now. Still, she and Kylo are complicated for reasons beyond just their unfortunate past. Rey knows she’s not cut out to be the wife of Kylo Ren any more than she is ready to be a princess. If the Sith succeed with their plans, Kylo will need a polished, socially confident, educated spouse. And that’s not exactly how Rey sees herself. She’s starting to think that her great-grandmother Lady Sidious had the right idea to stay in the background of her Sith’s life. Anonymous and secret to all but those in the innermost circle.

And so, after last night, Rey isn’t confused anymore about whether she wants to be with Kylo Ren. But she is confused about what she wants their relationship to be.

Rey glances over at the clock sitting on the bedside table and does a doubletake. It is late, very late. Breakfast was hours ago and the day has already begun. That prompts Rey to leap from the bed and furiously begin dressing. Any minute, Milo is going to poke his head in the door wondering where she is. It’s a miracle that the tidy manservant hasn’t come looking for her already. 

Rey pokes her head out the door and the coast is clear. She races down the hallway to her own room and locks the door, peeling off clothes as she rushes into the shower to wash off the evidence of last night. An hour later, she’s in a fresh princess dress with fresh princess hair and dewy princess makeup.  
Staring at herself in the mirror, Rey decides that, all in all, she doesn’t look too bad considering last night. Her hair is deliberately styled down in a riot of curls to hide the bruises on her neck where the Sith's kiss had left its mark. She has two matching marks on her chest but her dress covers those. Aside from that, Rey just has the dull, tired look that comes with lack of sleep.

Taking a deep breath, Rey steps out her door and nearly collides into Milo. Her heart is beating fast at the prospect of his censure, for surely this man suspects what went on last night. But the old manservant merely smiles and wishes her good morning, telling her there is some fruit and caf in the kitchen if she’s hungry. Thankfully, he asks no questions.

Today’s official audiences won’t begin until the afternoon. And so the remainder of the morning is free. In an effort to avoid obsessing further about last night, Rey heads to find Army. She wants to see for herself that her friend is unharmed as Snoke had said. 

The door to Army’s office is open and he is seated alone working when Rey walks up to knock. Just the sight of him going about his business fills her with relief. “I was expecting to find you in a bacta tank,” she says with a cheery smile. “I’m so glad that I didn’t . . . “ More glad than she can put into words. Armitage Hux has suffered enough.

“You're late.” Army briefly glances up from his datapad as she stands there on the threshold of his office. Is he angry? Army looks especially intense this morning. But maybe it’s just that she has interrupted him in deep concentration. Perhaps she should offer to come back later.

“You are two hours late,” he snaps as he puts down the datapad and considers her. Yes, he is definitely angry. 

“I’m sorry. I overslept,” Rey admits. She’s embarrassed about why and so she is not meeting his eyes. 

He scowls. “Well, come in.” He waves her into an empty chair across from his desk. “Where's my muffin?”

“I don't have one. I missed breakfast this morning.” That too merits a scowl. “Army, I’m sorry,” Rey reddens as she stifles a yawn. “I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.” 

That comment makes him scowl harder. “Really?” he raises an eyebrow. “Why? What were you doing, Rey?”

Again, she evades his gaze as she takes refuge in a convenient lie. “Oh . . . I was catching up on some of my homework. I fell behind on the Leader's reading assignments.” Rey is not ready to admit the truth of last night to Army. And what’s with all this hostility? As far as Army knows, she’s just late. He doesn’t know why. And, yes, she knows General Hux expects punctuality but this is taking it too far. It’s not like she’s his junior staff member late for a meeting. She was just dropping by like she does every morning. 

Rey looks over and finds Army peering at her now like he knows that she’s lying. His brow furrows and he leans forward in his chair to ask, “Are you okay, Rey?”

Self-consciously, Rey reaches up to smooth her hair forward to cover her neck. Again, she looks away. “Yes, yes, of course. I'm fine. Everything is great.” And that too is a bit of a lie. Because everything that had seemed so clear and right last night now is very fuzzy in the harsh light of day sitting in Army’s office. “You look a bit tired yourself,” she observes, trying to take the focus off herself. “You’re working too hard, Army. Don’t forget that you are recovering still.” 

“I didn't sleep much either last night,” he complains. And now it’s his turn to look away. 

“Well, that’s understandable.” Rey wants to move off this topic. “You have the big push to Coruscant beginning soon. I know it’s been a lot of work and a lot of stress. But it worked for the Mid Rim. The Leader was very pleased last night at dinner, Army. Very, very pleased.”

“Was Ren there last night?”

“Yes, he was at dinner.”

“Did he leave last night?”

“He left this morning early.”

Army nods coolly. He holds her gaze a moment before he asks, “Did you speak to Ren on my behalf? Are you the reason Ren persuaded our Leader to stop the lightning?”

Rey frowns. “Who told you that?” She’s really hoping it wasn’t Kylo.

“No one told me. I guessed. Is it true?”

Rey looks him in the eye and sighs. “Yes, I spoke to Kylo about you,” she says in a small voice. 

“Why did you do that?” Army hisses. “I don’t need you to plead my case with Ren—“

“Army, you were hurt enough! I couldn’t stand to see you hurt any more. I was trying to help. Please don't be angry with me.” She sighs and looks away as she grumbles, “It was Nestor’s idea originally.”

“Nestor Flick?” Army’s eyes narrow. “That guy is part babysitter and part groupie to Ren! Of course, he would send you to Ren.”

“I was trying to help—“ 

“How did you persuade Ren?” Army demands. His voice is normal volume but his tone is so intense that it feels like he is shouting at her. 

“I’m not sure I did persuade him,” Rey confesses. “I think Kylo had already made up his mind that he needed your help. For all I know, Snoke had too.” 

“How did you persuade Ren?” Army growls. “What did you promise him? What did you give him?”

“This was weeks ago, Army. Your father also talked to both Kylo and to the Leader. It wasn't just me trying to help. There were multiple people pleading your case and the Leader was already looking to change strategies. Everything sort of came together at once, Army. I wish I could take all the credit for this, but I can’t. But if I helped, then I am glad.” Rey shoots him a resentful glare. “It’s been a month with no lightning now, Army, and look how well you look.” Who cares if his pride is pricked, she thinks. The torture has stopped and that’s what matters.

“How did you persuade Ren?” Army demands a third time. He’s looking at her in a way that is hostile even for habitually grumpy Army Hux.

Rey shrugs and then squirms a bit as she gives him yet another half-truth. “I talked to him . . . ” Talked to him and kissed him. And then Snoke had walked in and that was that. Well . . . then she had asked again for help yesterday before Kylo went in to see Snoke. 

“Just talked?” Army is suspicious. 

And she is indignant. “Yes, Army. What exactly are you asking me?”

“I know you and Ren have a history. I don't want you going to him on my behalf asking for favors. Ever again!” Army is waving a finger at her for emphasis. “Do you understand that?” 

“Yes. Army, there's nothing to worry about.” 

“Look at me when you say that, Rey! Look me in the eye and tell me that you are okay and there is nothing to worry about.”

“I think maybe I should leave,” Rey responds as she stands to her feet. “Because I don’t understand why you are so angry with me today. I tried to help you. Other people tried to help you too. It worked and things are going well. So why are you so angry with me??” Rey sighs and looks away. She is surrounded by intense, competitive and demanding men. All wanting to tell her what to do. She shoots Army a hard look. After her confusing last night with Kylo, she’s not really up for being blindsided by this emotional scene with Army. There’s only so much alpha male drama she can take.

Now the general does something he never does: he backs down. Army runs a hand through his perfect hair and closes his eyes a moment. “I’m not angry with you, Rey. I’m just—just--,” he falters. “I’m frustrated with the situation, that’s all. I wish things were different for us. I really wish things were different . . . ” His tone is bitter and resigned.

Her face softens. “Army . . . Army, I don’t know how to say this, but things won’t be different for us. You and I . . . we . . . well . . . “ 

How does she put this into words? Last night had made one thing very clear to Rey and it’s that she and Army have no future. Sweet, caring, gallant Army Hux is not the man for her. Even if Kylo and Snoke would allow it, Rey doesn’t want it. She wants Kylo. Aggressive, possessive, obsessive and ambitious Kylo. The Skywalker Sith prince who is so needy for her yet standoffish with everyone else. He once saved her from slavers and once smacked her black and blue. He’s kissed her breathless on a conference table and presented her for execution. She and Kylo have a short history together, and it’s full of turmoil. But full of passion and true understanding too. Kylo gets her in a way Army Hux never will. And Kylo does it without judgement, which is something Army Hux would not.

Rey can admit this to herself now, even if she’s not yet ready to admit it to Kylo. 

“Army . . . we will never . . . I mean we can’t . . . you and I . . .“ 

Rey is still struggling for kind words to express this when Army cuts her off. “I understand, Rey. More than you know, I understand.”

She nods at this and the room falls silent a long moment.

Finally, Army speaks. “Do you still think about escaping?” he asks quietly. 

Rey shakes her head no. “You talked me out of it, Army. There were a lot of holes in that plan. It was a dumb idea. More a fantasy than anything else.”

“I think about it,” he rasps. “I'm strong enough now that I might actually pull it off.” 

Rey doesn’t understand. “But things are so much better now for you. There's no more punishment and you have your full command back. The First Order is about to execute your strategy for the final push to win the war. You’re the brains behind it all.” Rey squints at him. “Why would you take that risk?”

Army sits back in his chair and levels with her. “When this war is over, the Leader won't need my advice any longer. And since it was my strategy that will win, Ren will be gunning for me. You heard him in the conference room the other day. When the war is over, I’m a dead man, Rey.” 

“You told me not to worry about that. You told me that Kylo always says that.”

“He does. But this time, he might mean it.” Army looks away. “He has extra incentive to get rid of me now.”

“I won't let Kylo hurt you,” she promises recklessly. 

“And just how are you going to do that?” Army demands. “Find him and talk to him again?” He says this last bit with air quotes and a sneer. “It was more than talking, wasn’t it, Rey?” 

Just what is he implying?? “It was nothing.” 

Army doesn’t reply. He just raises one red eyebrow and stares her down.

“It was nothing,” Rey firmly maintains. She purses her lips, crosses her arms and tosses her head in indignation. The movement jostles her curls and Rey impatiently brushes them back over her shoulder without thinking. 

Army is staring now but not at her. At her neck. Rey self-consciously raises a hand to the telltale bruise marks from last night, looking down in dismay. 

And that provokes him. The normally tightly controlled Army leaps to his feet and slams his fist down on his desk, shouting, “Nothing?? It was nothing?? Dammit, Rey, you are not nothing! Don't say that! You are everything! You are not Ren’s to use and abuse!” 

She looks into his angry, contorted face. In the moment, he reminds her so much of Kylo. This business between Army and Kylo runs long and deep and Rey is firmly in the middle of it as the latest flashpoint. It’s a dangerous game and Rey suddenly realizes that her friendship with Army has made things exponentially worse. That kiss the other day with Army had been a terrible mistake. She is leading him on. 

“I’m going to leave now,” Rey says softly. “I’m glad that you are okay, Army. If I helped to convince Snoke to stop torturing you, then I am glad and it was worth it. I’m sorry you don’t see it that way.”

“Rey—“ he calls after her. But she keeps walking. She needs to put some distance between her and Armitage Hux. For both of their sakes. 

Later that day, Milo finds her to talk about changes to the official audience schedule. The old man has a datapad in one hand and one of Snoke's Sith robes in the other. 

"You're wearing red. Good. It will be a nice effect." The personal assistant to the Supreme Leader looks her over approvingly. He favors Rey with one of his grandfatherly smiles. "The Master is busy this afternoon and has requested that you preside over today's audiences in his absence."

"Me?" Really?

"Yes,” Milo confirms. And seeing Rey’s reaction, he hastens to reassure her. “Everything today is ceremonial in nature. Offers of tribute, welcomes to the Order, a pardon, and two senior military promotions. Nothing you have not witnessed many times before, Princess. Just do what the Master would do."

"Milo, are you sure? Perhaps we should just reschedule," Rey suggests hopefully.

"Nonsense. Things will only get busier soon. Never fear, I will be there with you the whole time. Beckon me over any time you wish to confer. Come,” he urges Rey and together they march to the audience chamber. Rey watches as Milo gives quiet instructions to Snoke's majordomo. Then he leads her up the dais. The faithful Sith servant shakes out the black velvet robe he carries. It is not one of Snoke's like she had supposed. This is a woman's hooded cape. Rey catches the faintest whiff of an expensive perfume as Milo settles the heavy fabric over her shoulders and fastens the clasp at her throat. "This was Madame's,” he confides with a wistful look. “I found it among her things."

Rey looks down and sees many inches of fabric pooled at her feet. This cloak is very long. "How tall was this Madame?" Rey asks. "And who was Madame?"

Milo smiles as he fusses with the cloak. "This belonged to Madame Damask. She was our last Lady Plagueis. Madame was a Muun like the Master. A very tall and stately woman. Beautiful inside and out."

She must have been giant, Rey thinks, judging by the size of this cloak. 

"Inside on the left is the special pocket she had sewn in for her lightsaber. Madame always had her lightsaber hidden on her somewhere, usually in her purse. It was an old habit from her Jedi days." Milo steps back to judge his handiwork. "It is far too long, but it will do for today. You will be seated and the extra length will not show." Then Milo gestures for Rey to sit on Snoke's throne. 

She balks. "Milo, are you sure?" Because she's not sure. Something tells her that the power mad Sith Master wouldn't want a usurper Light Side Palpatine scion warming his throne.

"Please take a seat, Princess." Milo gives her a reassuring smile. Then he reaches to pull forward the hood of the cloak, arranging it about her curls. "There," he decides when he is satisfied. "Now, you look like you belong on this throne." Milo steps to stand behind her in Rey's own customary spot. Then he nods to the majordomo. 

The doors of the audience chamber open and the first guests process in surrounded by Snoke's ceremonial guards. A man steps to the forefront, his hands held before him in chains. This, then, is the political prisoner to be pardoned. Snoke's guards thrust the man to his knees before Rey. 

That’s the cue for the majordomo to speak. "You are at the mercy of Princess Renata Palpatine, the daughter of the Supreme Leader of the First Order to Restore the Galactic Empire. The Princess will hear your plea."

Rey blinks at this speech but nods gravely in an approximation of Snoke's public demeanor. "Who are you and what do you seek?" she calls down the formal colloquy she has witnessed several times before.

The prisoner states his name and humbly requests her pardon for his crimes. 

Rey takes a deep breath and to the best of her ability repeats the short speech of clemency she has heard Snoke give previous lucky prisoners. 

The man sputters out his gratitude and the guards allow him to stand. 

Recalling what Snoke would do next, Rey concentrates a moment in the Force and waves her hand. She is very relieved when the man's handcuffs open and fall away to clatter to the ground. She hadn't known if that would work. Good thing it did. 

She exhales and nods to the majordomo to signal conclusion of the interview. 

As the first group leaves and the second group enters, Milo steps forward to whisper encouragement in her ear. "You're a natural, Rey. A real Sith princess."

This next audience is a military promotion. A short, stocky dark skinned officer is being conferred the rank of Brigadier General for his contributions to the Mid Rim campaign. As is the custom, he is accompanied by his commanding officer. It is none other than General Armitage Hux himself. The two men approach to stand at rigid military attention as the short official ceremony begins.

Army can’t take his eyes off her. His expression is inscrutable but through the Force, Rey senses his strong disapproval and sincere concern. He doesn’t like seeing her up in Snoke’s chair. It worries him on her behalf. Is that because there is such a power disparity between them? She’s the princess and he’s a still somewhat disgraced, out of favor general? Or is it because she is garbed like a Sith and acting like a Sith and that reminds him of his rival in everything, Kylo Ren? Or maybe it’s just a consequence of their angry parting earlier today. Rey isn’t certain what’s on Army’s mind, she just knows that he is troubled. Very, very troubled. 

The majordomo intones, “You stand before Princess Renata Palpatine, the daughter of the Supreme Leader of the First Order to Restore the Galactic Empire. The Princess today acts on behalf of the Supreme Leader.”

Rey recites a slightly modified version of the customary announcement: “The Supreme Leader, acting upon the recommendation of your commanding officer General Armitage Hux, has promoted you to the permanent grade of Brigadier General of the First Order to Restore the Galactic Empire, effective today. Congratulations and may the Force be with you.”

Rey nods to the majordomo and he approaches to hand the promoted man his new rank insignia. Then Army and his subordinate flash the First Order salute. Rey watches as the men withdraw from the room. Army turns back to stare a moment from the doorway. Even at this distance, his eyes look pained. Rey nods to him. He looks a moment longer and then departs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split chapters 32 and 33, so it's a two-fer today. Furious typed this on my phone very hungover on the plane on the way back from Vegas yesterday. The guy next to me was like "that's a long email." Yep.


	34. Chapter 34

While Hux and his cronies finish the details for the invasion planning, Kylo is busy mopping up things in the Mid Rim.  The First Order is preparing to pull out.  Kylo will leave strategic garrisons here and there to maintain control, but the rest of his troops will leave to join forces to invade Coruscant.  

 

The troop withdrawal is being done carefully, with maximum stealth and misrepresentation so as to confuse the enemy about where they are heading next.   Everyone knows the First Order is going to invade the Core.  But no one knows where or how or when.   Kylo plans to keep it that way.  The element of surprise is a key advantage in battle.   It is exciting to be this close to the final showdown and also nerve racking.  But it's not the First Order invasion that has him worried.   Hux has that all meticulously planned out.  It's Luke Skywalker that makes Kylo jumpy.   Killing Luke Skywalker is the only sure way to end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.  And it’s a task for a Sith alone.  No amount of First Order weaponry and troops will matter.  This is a personal fight as time honored and age-old as the Force itself.  Jedi versus Sith.  And Skywalker versus Skywalker.   Kylo knows not to underestimate his uncle.  His uncle is powerful.  Kylo would admit this to no man, but his uncle intimidates the shit out of him.  However this long awaited confrontation unfolds, it won’t end like last time with both of them alive.    That means Kylo may not live to see the galaxy he has won.

 

When he isn’t working and sleeping, Kylo is preparing for the upcoming confrontation.  Focusing his anger and intensifying his emotions to bolster his connection to the Force.   Hate will make him powerful.  And where Jedi Master Luke Skywalker is concerned, Kylo Ren has plenty of hate.

 

He hates the chaos of the last thirty years since the collapse of the Empire.  He hates that his family is responsible for it.  The lofty promises of the Rebellion-turned-New Republic have brought prosperity only to the Core.  The rest of the galaxy has been left to scrape by.  His mother and her followers value their democratic processes more than they value people.  And so many non-Core systems have been left to fall apart while the Senate is paralyzed by endless partisan debate.  In the end, the Haves have more.  The Have Nots have even less.  Things were far better under the Empire for most of the galaxy than they are now.

 

He hates the lies of the Jedi.  He hates that he himself was forced into Jedi training and fed lies about his own family and the Force.  He hates the fallacy that one scrap of Light in a Sith makes him ripe for redemption and that one tinge of Darkness in a Jedi makes him ripe for the fall.  He hates the lie that only a Sith thinks in absolutes when, in fact, it is the Jedi who are hamstrung by their righteous dogma. 

 

He hates that his mighty Sith grandfather was martyred in a confrontation with his own son.  Darth Vader had sought to reclaim the child stolen from him by the Light, to bring his boy back home.  But in the end, he died for it.  Luke Skywalker had walked away smug in his victory spinning tales of redemption and remorse.   More lies.  How Kylo hates his uncle’s lies. 

 

He hates how his family had sought to use Rey.  His gullible scavenger girl fell prey to a manipulative Jedi Master who lured her into war with the promise of a family.  It was a classic bait-and-switch.  Once Skywalker got Rey to the Resistance, there was no family.   Instead, his uncle offered to make her his Padawan.  Wisely, his girl had refused.  But she had gotten stuck at the Resistance all the same.  His uncle had pitted Kylo against his girl on opposite sides of a war, nearly ruining the only chance at lasting happiness Kylo will ever have. 

 

He hates too the disrespect Luke Skywalker shows to his Sith Master, the Skywalker patriarch.  His uncle had left two Sith dead at Endor.  Then he had foolishly declared it a triumph for the Light.  Wise old Plagueis had sat watching from the sidelines, biding his time to yet again approach his prodigal grandson.  To show the Jedi the futility of his fight.  The Dark cannot forever win, and neither can the Light.  Luke Skywalker’s so-called victory on the Second Death Star was merely a setback for the cause of balance.   Balance is the only way out of the cycle of murder that has characterized the Force for a millennium now.  For as old Plagueis knows, there is a reason that the Sith are drawn to the Light and the Jedi are tempted by Darkness.  The Force keeps trying to right itself.   And Luke Skywalker stands in the way.

 

There is Light in Kylo Ren, and his Sith Master sees this as a strength.  But years ago, the Jedi Master had seen the Darkness in Ben Solo and feared it.  Shamed him for it.  And so, when one day his teenaged self had met a wily Muun who accepted him as he is, Kylo’s path forward was clear.  He would become the enlightened Sith Apprentice his Master had waited two generations for.  Because Dark means can be used to achieve good, as Plagueis has long plotted with the reformist First Order.  Because the aim of Darkness is not evil and destruction.  It is power and power has many uses, some of them conventionally moral.

 

But moral standards and good intentions are not enough.  That is the failing of the Light.  For the Light can sometimes do more harm than good, as with the New Republic.  Luke Skywalker, like his Jedi predecessors before him, had over time become a servant of a government rather than a true servant of the Force.  His uncle cannot see past his hero worship of Ben Kenobi and Yoda.  And so, Luke Skywalker refuses to recognize that the Old Republic and the Jedi Order failed for a reason.  All that blind adherence to the past is just one more example why Luke Skywalker must die.

 

That's the plan, at least.  But when Dark meets Light, things rarely go according to plan. As his Master is fond of saying, Dark meets Light for a reason and it usually signals change.  So all Kylo’s planning and training might be in vain.  All is as the Force wills it.  And so, Kylo Ren dearly hopes that the Force will be with him.  

 

Whatever happens, he consoles himself, he can die a happy man now that he has had one more night with Rey.  Sex and the Light, these are the two most tempting vices for him.  Fucking Rey in his old bedroom had been like a fantasy he might have had as a teen.  Laying awake at night worrying over his decision to join Team Sith as he grappled with his forever call to the Light.   And then his Master would send him a beautiful, willing princess to spread her legs to envelope him with her warmth and heal him with her Light.   Thank you, Darth Plagueis.  For his war ravaged psyche, Rey is everything he needs.  Her smile, her laugh, her Light.   The old Muun widower with the dead Jedi wife had known exactly the gift he had bestowed.    As always, his Master knows what is best.

 

Kylo is in hyperspace only minutes away from Snoke's bunker when he sends the first of many messages to Rey’s datapad.  Milo had slipped him the message codes on his way out. 

 

_Miss me?  I miss you already._

 

There's no response.  Rey is probably sleeping still.  He’ll wait a few hours more.

 

_I would have left you a comlink but I knew you'd lose it.  But I know you have a datapad.  Would it kill you to respond?_

 

Nothing.  And so, a few hours later Kylo sends another message. 

 

_Stop playing hard to get.  You've already got me._  

 

It’s afternoon now and so there’s no way Rey is still asleep.  In frustration, he contacts Milo.  Snoke's assistant assures him all is well. So Kylo sends another message.  

 

_I hear you look hot sitting on Snoke's throne._  

 

Still, no answer.  He tries again.  

 

_We can get married on Jakku if you want.  You pick the wreck, I’ll bring the ring._

 

More silence.  WTF?

 

_Can’t sleep. I suppose there's no point in asking you to sext me?_

 

That provokes a response.  

 

_Are you always this persistent?_

 

_Yes._

 

_I thought you were supposed to wait a day or so after a date to contact a girl._

 

_You're not a date.  You're my destiny.  Last night wasn't a hookup. I'm going to marry you._

 

_I haven't said yes._

 

_But you haven't said no._

 

_I had a fight with Army today.  I'm sorry, but I’m not in the mood for this.  Goodnight, Kylo. MTFBWY_

 

Kylo has a pretty good idea of what caused that fight with Army.  He’s grinning to himself as he imagines the general angry but unable to express his outrage for fear of Snoke’s wrath.  Kylo isn’t keen on making Rey upset, but if it’s going to put some distance between her and Army Hux, that’s a good thing.  The redheaded general is far too sweet on his girl for Kylo’s comfort.  It was presumptuous for the man to covet a Sith princess in the first place. 

 

But that argument with Hux has overshadowed any afterglow with Rey.  Damn, oh well.  He was hoping for some virtual romance.  Last night has him wanting more Rey.  Plus, having sex only tends to make him want more sex.  And Rey--well, Rey is the ultimate experience.   He'll never get enough of her.  And yeah, he is rushing her about marriage.  He's an impatient man who rushes things.  Especially when he's as certain about them as he is about Rey.  Kylo is not taking no for an answer, but he is willing to wait for a yes.  Because he wants Rey to choose him. 

 

At least, she’s not going to choose Hux.  He’s not the guy for her.  As uncomfortable as it had been for Kylo to be skewered with tales of his past at dinner, it was the sort of thing that just shows how comfortable he and Rey are together.  He knows Princess Renata's hard scrabble past from Jakku.   He knows how far Rey has come from a powerless, penniless scavenger to a princess sitting on a throne.  And she, in turn, knows his troubled youth and his Padawan past.  That matters, he thinks.  Because to appreciate who he is today, it helps to know who he once was. 

 

Who will they be in the future?  All Kylo knows is that they will be different.  Things always change.  Rey's life has changed so much and so fast.  Very little of it has been by her choice.   That's why his girl so desperately wants to go back to Jakku, he knows.   There's nothing for her there.  But she doesn't know that.  She will have to discover that for herself.  And only then, Kylo suspects, will she choose him.

 

What is it that makes home so appealing?  Why does Rey pine for the desert world where she starved and scavenged?  Part of it is the freedom, she told him.  But all that freedom came with loneliness and deprivation.  Life is a mixed bag like that, full of tradeoffs.  The dream job of Sith Apprentice comes with lots of work and no vacation, but it promises the galaxy and unlimited power.   Being a princess comes with a Sith Master you cannot refuse and life in an underground bunker, but it promises the Force and a future.   Compromises are part of life.   But will Rey compromise on Jakku?

 

He hopes so.  Because home isn't a place, he thinks.  Home is people.  Except if you are the orphan loner Rey who has no people.   Then, it seems, home is a place.  The dead end, graveyard world of Jakku.  Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.  Even if it's an AT-AT.   He's trying, but Kylo can't relate to Rey's attachment to her home. He's a man who left his home and left his family and never looked back.  Resisting every now and then overtures to come home, even a last ditch, half-assed effort in a holochron cube.  Kylo Ren’s true home is on the Dark Side with his Sith Master and with his armies.  And, hopefully, with Rey. 

 

But first, he needs his girl to choose him.  To want a home with him more than she wants a home on Jakku.   And it's clear that she will have to go home first to make that choice.  

 

Kylo is not certain when or how he will make that happen.  Leaving her alone and defenseless on Jakku in the middle of a civil war doesn't sit well with him.  But he can’t exactly send a garrison down to protect her without attracting attention.  Nothing endangers his girl more than her relationship to him, he knows.  She's good with her stick and she's got the Force, but that's a far cry from being invincible.  Kylo is starting to regret that old Plagueis won’t teach her to wield a sword.  He may raise that today when he sees his Master.

 

Kylo returns today to Snoke’s bunker to attend the final command briefing before the invasion begins in two days’ time.   Nearly three weeks has gone by since Kylo has been back.  In the interim, he has sent Nestor to report to Snoke and to check on Rey.  Other than that, Kylo and Rey have exchanged purely cursory messages every few days.  It’s not much, but it’s something.  And since Kylo has agreed to respect her wishes to stay out of her head, it’s their only means of communication.  

 

He is surprised then to find Rey waiting for him on the landing platform as the shuttle lands.  She is different somehow in a way he can't put his finger on.  And she doesn’t smile as he walks up.  But maybe that’s because he has his full entourage with him today.  He’s as bad these days as Hux used to be, with six or more aides and knights trailing in his wake everywhere he goes.   He sees Rey’s eyes look over his shoulder to pan his assembly.  Kylo takes the hint.

 

“Go on ahead, I’ll catch up,” he tells Nestor at his side.  “Hux can wait on me for a change.”  Then, he waits as his officers and knights pass him by to enter the bunker.  Kylo even waves away the stormtroopers who stand guard at the bunker entrance and at the bottom of his shuttle ramp.  “Leave us,” he rasps. 

 

They are completely alone now.  Kylo pulls off his mask and steps forward.  "Rey, are you alright?  You’re trembling.  What’s going on?"  Something is wrong.  Everything about Rey’s Force imprint and her demeanor tells him that something is very, very wrong. 

 

He drops his helmet now and steps forward to put his hands on her forearms.  She’s looking up at him anxiously.  “What is it?”

 

"I-I--" she falters. 

 

“Yes?”

 

"Kylo, I'm worried that I . . . oh, I'm so scared . . . "  Those last words slip out and she reddens.  His fierce scavenger girl doesn’t like to admit to fear.

 

"Scared of what?"   What is she telling him?

 

“Something terrible has happened.”

 

“Terrible?” he repeats blankly.

 

“Or maybe wonderful.  I’m not sure . . . “

 

He’s not following any of this.  “Rey, what are you saying?” 

 

She’s losing her nerve to confess, he sees.  Rey looks away to the side in hesitation and whispers, "Oh, Gods, not now . . . ”

 

Kylo follows her gaze to the entrance to the bunker where he sees General Hux fast approaching with a determined stride.  No doubt his nemesis has come to berate him for holding up the meeting.

 

Rey hedges now, looking partially relieved.  “Maybe we should talk about this later before you go . . . ”

 

Not if it’s something terrible, he thinks.  Kylo isn’t a man who likes to defer the bad news.  “Rey, what’s going on?  Tell me.”

 

"I--I--"

 

"Tell me."

 

"I--I—“  She keeps glancing over at Hux nervously.   “Hold me.   Just hold me."    Rey abruptly flings herself into Kylo’s arms the way she had on the _Finalizer_.  She had been scared then and looking to him to make things right.  Today, too.   Kylo swears he can feel Rey’s heart pounding in her chest.  Whatever is bothering Rey is important.  And now suddenly Kylo has a very bad feeling about this.

 

Seeing the general goads Kylo into pulling Rey closer.  Take a good look, Hux, he thinks.   See the girl you will never have in my arms.  Eat your heart out, general.

 

His maneuver has the desired result.  Hux looks very pissed off as he halts behind Rey to glare at him.  Hux too seems nervous like Rey.  And now, Kylo's suspicions are aroused.   Wait--she's not trying to tell him that she and Hux??   Is the general why Rey has been so distant since their night together?? Is that what's really going on?   Fuck!  Is the joke on him and not on Hux??  Because suddenly Hux seems very determined looking.  And maybe a bit smug.  Kylo thrusts Rey back from him and glowers down at her.

 

"Spit it out!   What are you trying to tell me?   And why is he here?"  What the fuck is going on?

 

Rey never gets a chance to answer.  As she opens her mouth to answer, Hux grabs her from behind around the neck.  The general produces a blaster pistol in his other hand that he jabs point blank to her temple.

 

Kylo freezes. 

 

Rey does not.  Instantly, his girl starts struggling.  "Army, what are you do--"

 

Hux unlocks the safety and repositions the gun.  Rey's eyes widen and she stops resisting.  She mouths the word “No!” but no sound comes out. 

 

"Come on, Rey.  We're getting out of here," mutters Hux as he starts dragging her fast towards the shuttle.  Armitage Hux is still a skinny scarecrow figure but he's a head or more taller than Rey and he has easy leverage over her neck and shoulders.  Plus, he has a loaded and cocked blaster to her head. 

 

Kylo’s sword automatically leaps into his hand to light and he stalks forward after them.  He is pretty certain that Hux isn't going to shoot Rey.  But then again, he's not positive.  Because he never would have expected this action from the general.  The man doesn't get his hands dirty at war, so Hux actually threatening anyone in person--let alone Rey--seems a stretch.   But here he is, doing it.  And rather effectively, too.

 

"Back off, Ren, or she dies!” the general snarls.  “If I die, she dies!"

 

“Army—“ Rey sputters.  But she’s not fighting.  His scavenger girl is a survivor who only takes calculated risks and this isn’t one of them.

 

"Let her go!"  Kylo hollers as he comes to a quick halt, abruptly deciding that he too will not intervene with the Force or otherwise.  He won’t risk harm to Rey.  "Let her go and you can leave," Kylo offers.   Then he extinguishes his sword.  Hux looks desperate and desperate men do rash things.  Kylo doesn't put it past him to shoot Rey just to spite him.   And while Kylo can stop blaster bolts, he can’t do it at point blank range.  “Let her go!”

 

"I'm no fool!” Hux shouts back.  “She's my ticket out of here.  Thanks for the shuttle, Ren."

 

“You’re a dead man, Hux!” he vows.  “When this is over you’re a dead man!”

 

"That’s nothing new,” the general sneers back.  “I’ve been living on borrowed time since the Starkiller.  The Leader was only keeping me alive because he needed me.  He took all my advice on the Mid Rim and gave you all the glory.  You are a failure as a strategist, Ren."

 

"Whereas you are just a failure," Kylo hisses back.  "The Order will find you.  There is nowhere you can hide from the Sith."

 

"You're going to lose this war!   Mark my words, you will lose it!"  You, not we.  Kylo catches that distinction immediately and perceives the fundamental shift in allegiance that has occurred.  Things just got worse.

 

“L-Let me g-go!” he hears Rey gasping to get out the words, that’s how tightly she is held.  Hux is at the bottom of his shuttle ramp now.  Kylo is keeping his distance at a cautious five meters back.

 

“It’s better this way, Rey.  You need to get away from him.  You’ll thank me for this in time.”    Then Hux says something in Rey’s ear that Kylo doesn’t quite catch.  It sounds like ‘We will be happy.  You’ll see.’

 

More realization dawns fast for Kylo as he remembers Snoke’s comments about Hux admiring Rey.  Months of torture could not shake the disgraced general’s resolve for his cause.  Apparently, only love could prompt him to this act.  Kylo would laugh if the situation weren't deadly serious.  The Order's best general is threatening his girl and using her as a human shield for his escape attempt.  Now, on the eve of the victory he meticulously planned, Armitage Hux is abandoning his post.  All because of a woman.

 

And it’s his woman.  His Rey.

 

Kylo watches in silence as Hux drags the wide-eyed Rey up and into the shuttle ramp.   Not long after the pair disappear, the ship’s engines roar to life.  Kylo hears a muffled sound of a blaster shot and he hopes that was his pilot who just died and not Rey.    He concentrates a moment in the Force to be sure but by then the shuttle is lifting off and Kylo can’t tell if he senses Rey’s Force imprint dim from her passing or from the growing distance between them. 

 

FUCK!  He had not seen this coming.  Kylo watches helplessly as his shuttle disappears fast into the atmosphere.  Taking with it the girl who is the Light in his life.

 

Suddenly, out onto the landing platform strides his Master and Nestor Ren.  When old Darth Plagueis wants to move, he can move as fast as any man.  Kylo has long suspected that some of his Master’s infirmity is for show.  Today is clear evidence. 

 

“She is gone.”  The Supreme Leader speaks this with a finality that scares the shit of Kylo. 

 

“Did Hux kill her?” he whirls to demand.  “Is Rey dead?”

 

The old Muun closes his eyes and concentrates.  “She lives,” he decides after a moment. 

 

"If he harms her, I want to be the one to harm him," Kylo growls out in frustration.

 

"Let us hope not.  That girl is our best hope for the future."   Snoke considers a moment.  “The general loves our Princess.  Perhaps that will protect her even under the circumstances.”

 

"Hux won't hurt her if he loves her."   Nestor is being his usual calm self, looking for the bright side. 

 

The logic seems reasonable enough.  But Leader Snoke disagrees with a rueful look.  "If only life were that simple, Nestor Ren.  For it is usually those we care for the most who we hurt the worst.  Love and pain go hand in hand, unfortunately."

 

"He'll disappear in the Unknown Regions," Kylo guesses.  “Hux will be untraceable there.”

 

"No," his Master disagrees. "He's going to the Resistance."

 

"He's not fool enough to do that," Kylo scoffs.

 

“He might be,” Nestor posits.  “He was fool enough to take your Princess.”

 

Snoke levels Kylo a hard look.  "The Resistance is the only place he can hide from us.  And Rey can get him in.   Remember that Army Hux is a tactician, Apprentice.  He is not a man who takes unreasonable risks.  He has this all thought out. Likely, he has been stewing on it for weeks."   As usual, his Master’s logic is unimpeachable.  "Armitage Hux cannot stand to be irrelevant.  He will turn traitor and claim enlightenment as the reason why.  His best play is as the Starkiller general who saw the error of his ways and handed the Resistance a victory."

 

"If so, he'll be handing Rey over to Skywalker,” Kylo rasps.  “The Jedi might kill her if he learns that she studied with you."  Kylo knows his uncle will view Rey as forever tainted by the Sith.  It’s one thing to turn down the opportunity to be a Padawan learner.  It’s another thing to turn it down and accept teaching from old Snoke.

 

Again, his Master disagrees.  "Luke Skywalker will not kill her.  Especially not now."

 

"Hux knows everything about our invasion planning.  The moment he starts talking, we become vulnerable.”  Kylo turns to the Supreme Leader now.  “Master, you need to leave.  This bunker is compromised and must evacuate immediately.”

 

The Supreme Leader nods at this, then decides, “The invasion begins tomorrow.  We cannot risk further delay.  Everything must be accelerated.”

 

“And Rey?”  Kylo is afraid to ask.  He already knows the answer.

 

Sure enough, old Darth Plagueis is true to form.  “A Sith places power above all else, Apprentice.  Including sentiment.”

 

Yes, he knows.  Kylo is reminded of his failure when he first arrived here with Rey as his prisoner months ago.  Had he been Sith enough to draw his sword on Rey then, she would be his by now.  And none of this would have occurred.

 

Kylo grits his teeth.  “I understand, Master.”

 

“And will you obey, Apprentice?”  Snoke shoots him a raised eyebrow.

 

“Yes, my Master.”

 

“Good.  Now go, my son.  Leave me.  Take the knights and the garrison stationed here and find my daughter.  Bring her home.”

 

Kylo blinks at this instruction.  He’s confused. 

 

The old Muun explains, “Lucky for us, power and sentiment are aligned today.  Our Sith Princess is power, now more so than ever.  The Force is with us, Kylo Ren.  Follow them to the Resistance, kill Skywalker and bring her home.”


	35. Chapter 35

“Get that out of my face!” Rey growls as she pushes away the barrel of the blaster pistol that Army has in his hand.  The gun is still hot from the shot that killed the unlucky shuttle pilot they had found waiting onboard.  The poor guy is lying dead at their feet in the cockpit.  “If you’re not going to shoot me, then put it away!” she hisses.

 

“Sorry,” Army mumbles as he stashes the pistol on the floor for want of a better place.   He leaves the safety off, she notices.  Probably because Army Hux is not a man who often handles a gun.  “I had to make it look good.  Did I hurt you?”

 

“What the Hell are you doing?” Rey demands.  But just then, the ship lurches hard to the starboard side. Rey hastens to take back her question.  Now is a time to act, not to talk.  “Forget it!  Don’t talk, just fly!”  The ship lurches again and Rey stands to lean over Army to toggle the stabilizer switch.  It turns out that what Army had told her long ago is right.  He’s not much of a pilot.

 

“I can’t believe you did this,” Rey mutters under her breath as she watches the horizon tilt yet again.  The movement reveals they now have company.  She spots at least two TIEs, maybe more.  Those ships sure scrambled fast.  Kylo’s command shuttle is just barely aloft and already they are pursued. 

 

“You are being rescued,” Army announces through gritted teeth.    

 

“Rescued?  This is some rescue!”  Rey snaps back, just as stressed as he is. 

 

“It was your idea!  I'm getting out of here and taking you with me.” 

 

“You're damn lucky I might be--   Well, you're lucky I wasn't in the mood to fight back because I could take your skinny ass, Army.”  Rey is livid to find herself in this situation.  “And did you have to kill that poor pilot?   Couldn't you have stunned him?”

 

“I can fly.   We don't need him.” The com button is flashing and buzzing loudly now, no doubt a hail from the TIEs on their tail.  Thankfully, they haven’t started firing.  Yet.  As the seconds tick by, Rey is getting more and more concerned.      

 

“Shields up, Army!   Those TIEs are heading right for us.”

 

“Shields,” he repeats under his breath as he scans the complicated cockpit control panel before him.   “Shields . . . where are the shields?”

 

“There!” Rey points and then lunges to activate them herself.  “Can you even fly?” she demands.  “You can’t fly, can you?” she accuses.

 

Army shoots her a look.  “I told you, I'm a thinker not a doer.”

 

“Well, get out of the pilot seat, genius, before you get us killed!”  When he hesitates, Rey gives his shoulder a hard yank.  “Move!  And strap in because this might end badly once they start shooting.”

 

And now Rey is in the pilot seat and she’s gunning towards the planetary shield gate portal that’s straight ahead. 

 

“They’re not going to shoot us down,” Army says with far more confidence than she has.

 

“Yeah, how do you know that?” she challenges.

 

“Because you’re onboard, Rey.  You’re our ticket out of here.” 

 

She punches at the blinking com light and there’s an open link now.  The shuttle is being hailed by the TIEs and ordered to land. 

 

“Are you going to answer that?” Rey complains.

 

He blinks at her.  “Should I?”

 

“They aren’t just going to open the shield gate for us, are they?”

 

“There's two gates,” he informs her. 

 

“Great--twice the chance to die.”  Rey gestures to the com.  “Well, get on the line and start making threats to get us through or I'm going to land this ship and Kylo and Snoke can kill you.”

 

Army starts talking.  Rey isn’t really paying attention.  There are four TIEs now surrounding the shuttle and trying to box her in and force her down.   Whoever these TIE pilots are, they are good.  Constantly rearranging their formation and herding the shuttle along with them.  No shots have been fired, but it’s a quick ever-changing game of cat and mouse.  And while Kylo’s shuttle is agile and quicker than it looks, it does not have the maneuverability of a small one-man fighter.  It’s a command shuttle meant for transport and not an aerial dogfight.

 

“As soon as we get clear, you're dropping me at the nearest system and we part ways.” 

 

“No,” Army says this in as firm a tone of voice as she has ever heard from him.  “You're coming with me. I need you, Rey.  You're my ticket to the Resistance.”

 

“The Resistance??”  Rey sighs and makes a face.  “They are going to shoot you on sight, Army.  They are going to shoot this shuttle on sight.”  The only place more dangerous for Army Hux now than the First Order is the Resistance.

 

He ignores her and resumes bickering over the comlink.   Army is right.  It doesn’t take much conversation before the giant shield gates open.  As usual, General Hux’s tactics prevail.  He had called it:  the First Order values her enough to let her escape unharmed with their lead general. 

 

They are in space now and away from the planet but deep in First Order territory in the Outer Rim.  “Here are the coordinates for the jump.”  Army fishes a datacard out of his pocket to hand it to her. 

 

“Where?”  Rey asks.

 

“Crait.  It’s a mining planet where the Resistance command center has been hiding for the past few months.  We’ve known where they are for a while.”

 

Rey nods and inputs the data into the navicomputer.  Kylo’s shuttle has the most current technology and so seconds later the jump calculations are complete.   Rey reaches for the lever and they make the jump to lightspeed.  They are away.

 

Beside her, Army sighs and slumps in the co-pilot seat.  Rey too exhales the breath she has been holding.   Adrenaline still has her heart pounding and her mouth dry.  As they sit there in mutual silence a long moment, Army reaches over to grab for her hand and squeeze.  “We did it.  We’re safe.”

 

“Safe?”  Rey marvels at this self-delusion.   “We are fugitives from the First Order in Kylo Ren’s stolen ship headed for the Resistance base.  You’re a war criminal in their minds and I’m . . . “  Rey’s voice trails off.  She doesn’t want to speak aloud that she is Kylo’s maybe pregnant girlfriend.  “Oh, Army,” she looks to him.  Then her gaze wanders to the body on the floor.  “What were you thinking?”

 

His pale blue eyes stare deeply into hers.  “I did this for you, Rey,” he declares hoarsely.  “For us.”

 

Rey raises a hand to her forehead, suddenly very scared for where this conversation is headed.  “Army,” she says softly.  “There is no ‘us.’  I told you that we can’t be together.”

 

“We can now,” he says hopefully.  “We’ll hide at the Resistance, just like you did before.  I have the highest level security clearance in the Order and I personally planned the Coruscant invasion.  I'll trade that information for sanctuary for us.”  He looks so earnest now as he assures her.  “Don’t be afraid.  We’ll get through this.”

 

“But I don’t want this, Army!   Why did you do this?” she wails.

 

“I will keep you safe, Rey,” he promises.  “Don’t worry.  I will treat you well.  Ren is the past.  I will be your future.”  

 

“We will be hunted everywhere we go.  It won’t take Kylo and Snoke long to figure out where we've gone.”  She looks around miserably at Kylo’s plush shuttle.  “They are tracking us.  There's a transponder on this ship somewhere.  Probably in the back near the hyperdrive . . . “

 

“Fine.  We’ll find it and turn it off.  The Order will figure out where we are headed soon enough.  And then Luke Skywalker will take care of Ren.  That Jedi killed Vader and the old Emperor.  He can kill Ren.” 

 

Rey blinks at this plan.  “Army, the Resistance isn't going to be happy if we show up and you lead the First Order right to them.”

 

“I’m not leading the Order anywhere they don’t already know to go.  The First Order has known for months where the Resistance hides.  It's all part of my invasion plan.  The Order first launches a diversionary strike on the base before it heads to Coruscant.” 

 

Rey’s eyes widen and then narrow.  “So the First Order knows where we are heading and it's where they plan to attack?”  Why ever did Army think this was a good idea?

 

“Yes,” he confirms.  “But we'll get there first to warn them.”

 

“I don’t like this,” Rey groans.  She has a bad feeling about this.  With her luck today, the Order will get there first and she and Army will run right into them.

 

“Look, I know it’s not perfect, Rey.  But it gets you away from Ren.”

 

“But that's not for you to decide!” Rey sputters. 

 

“I won't let you go back to him,” Army vows with a conviction that matches his old zeal for the First Order.  “He'll only use you again.  Like he used you before for the map to Skywalker.  Like the Leader lets him use you now for sex.”

 

Rey shoots the general an ugly look.  But then she colors deep red with embarrassment and confusion.  How had Army known that she and Kylo were having sex?  She’s going to murder Kylo if he bragged. 

 

“You don't know, do you?” Army surmises.  “Remember that day a few weeks ago when the Leader summoned me and Ren was there?  The Leader wanted to congratulate us on the Mid Rim.  My reward was that he didn't fry me.  Ren's reward was you.”

 

“Me??”  What?

 

“The Leader gave you to Ren for the night.  With the sole stipulation that he not harm you.” 

 

Rey looks away and swallows hard.  So that’s why Kylo had been so insistent about getting her into bed that night.  And that’s why he had been so certain they wouldn’t be interrupted.  That asshole, she thinks, as she remembers Kylo declaring that a night with her was worth frying in blue lightning.  There was never any risk that he would be punished.  That fucking Sith was just manipulating her.  And, of course, she had fallen for it.

 

Army must sense her reaction because he starts playing on her fears.  “If you stay with the Order, the Leader and Ren may start passing you around next.  Ren and his knights are not known for their respect for women, Rey.  Neither is the Leader with his slave girls.  I won't let them treat you like that.  You deserve better than that.”

 

Upset, Rey stands to her feet, steps over the body on the floor and stalks into the back of Kylo’s shuttle.   She slumps dejectedly into the couch in the lounge area.  Her elbows are on her knees and her chin is cupped in her hand.  Seconds later, Army settles down beside her.

 

“Rey—“ he begins as he lays a comforting hand on her shoulder.   “I didn’t mean to upset you.”  When she doesn’t object, he takes it as encouragement.  His hand is stroking her back now and he scoots closer to plant a chaste kiss on her upturned cheek.

 

“D-Don’t—“ Rey warns. 

 

But he ignores her.  “The first time I saw you hovering over my hospital bed, I thought you were an angel.  You were wearing this dress and you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.”

 

“Please d-don’t—“ Rey warns again.  Her face is in her hands now and her eyes are closed as if to blot out this no-win situation she finds herself in. 

 

“Every day, you came to see me.  It was the best part of my day.”  Army keeps stroking her back.  His voice is soft and sincere.  It ought to be comforting, but it’s only making things worse.  “Back then everyone hated me.  Everyone blamed me.  There were betting pools in the officer corps on how long it would take the Leader to kill me.  No one gave a damn about me except you.  You didn’t care what I had done or why.  You only cared about me.”

 

“Army, please don’t do this—we can’t do this—“   Rey’s voice cracks with the intensity of the situation.  She has spent the last week agonizing about whether she is pregnant or not.  Worrying about how Kylo will react.  Terrified for what it means for the future.  Naively, Rey had believed that issue to be the overriding factor in her life.  Never once had she contemplated she would end up kidnapped by her best friend and on her way back to the Resistance.

 

“We don’t have to make anyone happy but ourselves.   I don’t care what Ren and the Leader think or what my father thinks.  I can fight for the other side just as well as I can fight for the Order.”

 

“No, no you can’t,” Rey corrects him.  “We live in a real world, Army.  Come back to it,” she gripes.  “You are not some ordinary soldier.  You are the face of the First Order.  And I’m supposed to be Snoke’s daughter.  We are not anonymous people.  We cannot just go sign up for the Resistance.”

 

“Why not?”  This attitude is the same bold daring that makes Armitage Hux a brilliant strategist, but it’s not working for Rey just now.  Because this isn’t only his war, this is her life.  And she’s not about to let Army Hux hijack it further. 

 

“Rey, I lov—“

 

“Stop!”  This can’t go on.  It has to stop.  And so, Rey drops the bombshell secret that not even Kylo knows.  “I think I'm pregnant.”

 

Army’s hand freezes on her back and she senses him stiffen at her side.  As she glances over at him, Army is staring at her.  His expression is more disbelieving than stunned.

 

“I think I’m pregnant.”  She repeats.  “It's true,” she mutters, then pauses to swallow the lump in her throat.  This is the first time she’s actually said it out loud to anyone.  “I wish it weren't true, but it is.”

 

“Oh, Rey.” 

 

She sits back now to face him.  “Army, you and I can never be together.  Not now.”  Not ever.   

 

“Does he know?”

 

“What?”

 

“Does Ren know?”

 

“No.  Not yet.”  She hasn’t had a chance to tell him. 

 

“Okay,” Army reasons, as if he is brainstorming through one of his tactical scenarios.  “Then you can get rid of it.  We can solve this problem and it will be like it never happened.” 

 

“No.”

 

If Army hears her, he doesn’t process it.  “Then we can be together.  Like we want.”   

 

Rey takes a deep breath.  “Army, I'm not getting rid of this baby.”  By the time this war is over, this child may be all that Rey has left.   

 

“Wait--you want Ren's kid?”  He is surprised.  “But you just said you wished it wasn’t true . . . “

 

There is a difference between wishing you hadn’t gotten pregnant and planning to abort the child.  But maybe that’s something only a woman can understand, Rey thinks.  Army sees this as a problem to be solved and she sees it as a child to be born.  And that’s a fundamental disconnect.  “I can't kill this innocent kid.  I won’t do it.”  And that too is probably a fundamental disconnect between them.  Because Starkiller Hux has no problem killing innocents.  His recent maximum slaughter strategy in the Mid Rim bears testament to that fact.  “This kid is a Skywalker,” she reminds him since Army already knows Kylo’s parentage.  “Snoke will take my head off if I kill a Skywalker baby.”

 

When Snoke finds out about this, he’s going to be very pleased, Rey knows.  A baby from the Skywalker and Palpatine lines, born from Jedi and Sith on both sides.  The very epitome of the balance the old Muun so desires.  This kid will be born full of Force, she thinks.  Full of power.  The Sith will covet this child for that alone.  Darth Plagueis will be delighted that the line of the Chosen One continues another generation.  And this means Snoke will make them get married for sure now, Rey thinks.

 

“What matters is that it's Ren's kid.  You will never be free from him if you keep his kid.”

 

Rey takes another deep breath.  Suddenly, she’s very glad that they are in the back of the shuttle and far away from the blaster pistol tucked under the pilot’s seat.  She looks over at Army and confesses, “I don't want to be free from Kylo Ren.” 

 

Army is silent a long moment.  Then he asks in a calm and quiet voice, “What are you saying?  What are you telling me?”

 

“That we can't be together--”

 

“Because you want to be with Ren,” Army finishes for her.  He catches her eye and she nods at the truth of his words.  “But Rey, he's a maniac!  Violent and obsessive and impulsive . . . “

 

“I know.”  Kylo Ren is all of those things and more.  Some of them good, some of them bad.  “I know who he is, Army.”   And Kylo knows who she is too.  That’s why they work.  It isn’t always pretty, but she and Kylo work together.  And they are going to have to work together for the good of this child, Rey knows.

 

Army shakes his head.  “I can't let you do this . . . “

 

“You don't get to decide,” she tells him gently.  “This is my decision, Army,” she whispers.

 

Abruptly, he shoots to his feet and begins pacing.  “What is with women who let guys treat them like dirt?” he grouses, arms waving in emphatic anger.  His gestures are more wild Kylo Ren than controlled Army Hux in demeanor.  But everything about this man seems atypical today. “What do you see in him?  Is it the mask—is that it?  All that posturing?  I know it’s not the proximity to the Leader or the Force.  You’ve got that all on your own.”

 

“There are good sides to him.”

 

“I haven’t seen them and I’ve known him for a decade.”

 

“We are all more than we seem, Army.”  She gives him a look of compassion.  He is a dear friend who today is acting completely out of character.   And that scares Rey.   For herself and for him.  “Kylo Ren is more than he seems.  And so are you.  Even after the Starkiller.”  She’s speaking of his genocide but he’s understanding her to mean his defeat, but whatever.  The point is still the same.  We are all more than our worst moments, our regrettable deeds, our cringeworthy comments.    The things we wish we could undo, unsay, take back.   

 

“Do I need to slap you around, is that it?   Do you need someone to hurt you, to use you?  Because I don’t do that to women.  I’m not Ren!”   His face is so bitter now.  It’s a mix of hurt and disappointment that she wants to look away from.  But Rey forces herself not to.  Through the Force, she feels Army’s pain wash over her.  “Rey, I have just turned my back on everything for you and for our future.   And now you tell me we have no future . . . “

 

He stops pacing now and looks away.

 

Rey just sits there miserable.

 

They are quiet for what seems like forever. 

 

“Now what do we do?” Army asks finally. 

 

She sees panic momentarily cross his handsome features.   Armitage Hux looks like a man who has lost everything.  Well, in reality, he may have just thrown everything away.  But his desperation scares Rey.  She hurries to reassure him.   “We go to the Resistance as planned.  I’ll get you in.  You will be safe there."   That prediction might be a bit optimistic, but there's no point in being negative now.

 

"But then you're leaving me,” he concludes, his voice flat and strange.

 

"Yes.  I can't stay there.  Not now.  You know the family connection between the Skywalkers and Kylo.  It’s too risky for me to stay there.  They will eventually find out about the baby and use it against Kylo.”  In the back of her mind, Rey remembers old Milo speaking of how the Old Republic Jedi used to steal children.  They stole Rey’s grandmother from the Emperor and his wife.  And they stole Kylo’s mother and uncle from Darth Vader and his queen.  Yes, it would be best for her to keep far away from the Skywalker twins, Rey knows.  She doesn’t want her or the baby to be used as a pawn in that family’s wars.

 

Army looks at her again for a long moment before he concedes, “Okay.  Then that’s the plan.”

 

Rey gives him what she hopes is a reassuring smile.  “We’ll make it work, Army.  But you need to make a very contrite speech to Leia Organa.  She’s the one you need to convince.”

 

“I can do that,” Army sounds heartened.  He gives her a half smile.  “Speeches are my thing.”

 

“Yeah,” she agrees. “Yeah, they are.” 

 

_Rey!_   It’s Kylo speaking to her through the Force.  Before she can stop herself, she says his name aloud.  “Kylo.” 

 

Army’s eyes narrow.  “Ren?”

 

_Are you okay?  Please be okay.  I need you to be okay._  

 

“I'm fine.”

 

“Are you talking to Ren?”

 

_Are you headed to the Resistance?_

 

“Yes.”

 

“What are you telling him?”

 

_Stay alive, Rey.  Do what you need to do.  Tell them anything they want to hear.  But stay alive.  I will come for you._

 

“I'll be alright.  I can take care of myself.” 

 

_I know.  Do not trust my family.   If I fail, find Snoke and he will keep you safe.   Trust our Master.  He will protect you._

 

“You stay alive too.  I need you alive.”  Army is scowling at her as she says this aloud.

 

_It's a deal.  What were you going to tell me on the landing platform?_

“Later.  Now is not a good time.”

 

_Hux is there, isn’t he?_

“Yes.”

 

_Okay.  Got it.  I’ll shut up._

After that exchange, it is a long, nervous and coldly distant ride to the Resistance.  Army doesn't speak to her.  He barely looks at her.  He stays in the back so she wanders up front to the cockpit.  She fiddles with the shuttle controls and tries to ignore the dead man by her seat. 

 

She feels guilty and angry and sad at the same time.  And she is worried, more worried than ever now.   She might be pregnant with Kylo's baby.  The next Skywalker scion.  And here she is about to march into the Resistance headquarters.  She's about to step back into the middle of the galactic civil war.   And now, the stakes are higher than ever.  It's not just about her any longer.  It's about this baby Rey didn't want and isn't sure how she feels about.   All she knows is what Rey has always known:  she wants to survive.  Only now, she wants her baby to survive too.  Because when you grow up stepping over bodies on Jakku and you spend your days in a constant struggle to survive, you learn the value of life.  It’s a simple truth:  all human life has value.  The poor dead pilot behind her seat had value.  Orphan scavenger girls marooned on Outer Rim worlds have value.  And this unborn baby too has value.  Even if this kid wasn’t a Skywalker and a Palpatine.  Even if this kid doesn’t have the Force.  This baby has value and she wants it to survive.  And that means Rey needs to get away from this war. 


	36. Chapter 36

Rey marches down the shuttle ramp while anxious Army lurks in the recesses of the ship.  As expected, there is a small crowd of Resistance guards surrounding Kylo’s shuttle with guns drawn.  They follow her every move.  Behind the guards, there are quite a few skeptical onlookers.  One of them is General Leia Organa.  She pushes through the crowd and past the guards as soon as she recognizes Rey. 

 

Kylo’s mother looks very relieved, and that is encouraging.  “Rey!   You're alive!  We thought that at Kardura—“

 

“I survived Kardura, General,” Rey interrupts out of sheer nervousness.  A lot is riding on this conversation.  “Initially, I was taken prisoner by the First Order.” 

 

Leia Organa is looking at her curiously and suddenly Rey is aware of how different she must appear from the girl the general briefly knew many months ago.  Rey is wearing the demure Alderaan-style ivory dress that Snoke likes.  It has a high collar, long sleeves and a wide column of beading down the front.  Her hair is in an elaborate crown of braids not unlike Leia Organa’s own trademark style only this morning the grooming droid had woven an ivory ribbon through hers.  Rey has a full face of makeup on and a fresh pale pink manicure.   She is every inch the young and pretty princess old Darth Plagueis prefers.   But it’s nothing like the Jakku scavenger Leia Organa first met or the Resistance pilot she once was. 

 

Everyone is looking at her expectantly now.  “I have . . . uh . . . come back . . . “ she begins haltingly.

 

“So I see.  And from the First Order, I presume.”  General Leia raises an eyebrow.

 

Rey nods.  “Yes.  We escaped from Snoke’s command bunker this morning.”  And that’s not the whole truth, but close enough, Rey thinks.

 

“We?”  The Resistance matriarch again raises an eyebrow.   “Who’s on that shuttle, Rey?”

 

“A friend.”

 

“Who’s on Kylo Ren’s shuttle, Rey?” Leia Organa demands.  She’s every inch the steely veteran general now.

 

“It’s not Kylo,” Rey responds quietly.  The brief but intense look of disappointment on General Leia’s face is unmistakable.  And also, surprising. 

 

“Go on.” 

 

“My friend wants to help and he has information vital to the survival of the Resistance.”  Rey takes a deep breath and plunges forward with another approximation of the truth.  “General, he wants to defect to the Resistance.   He is truly contrite for his role in the First Order.  He knows that he has done terrible things.  He is hoping that by sharing what he knows, he can begin to make things right.”

 

Leia Organa just purses her lips and stares behind Rey up the shuttle ramp and into the darkened ship.  She has a hard look about her face and she looks unimpressed.  “You’re not going to tell me who it is, are you?”

 

“Until today, he has been your enemy.  Now he wants to be your ally.  General, you need to know what he has to tell you.  It will save your life and countless others.  Hear him out.  Don’t shoot him.”   Rey is trying hard to make this work.  She’s furious with Army for his actions, but also uncomfortably aware that she has just broken his heart.  So her goal is to get Army safe with the Resistance.  Rey feels like she owes him this now that he has lost everything at the First Order.

 

The Resistance matriarch has been at war for decades and she is wary of tricks.  She’s not Darth Vader’s daughter and the Rebellion’s famous heroine for nothing.  She motions forward the guards to the ramp.  Then she gives Rey a long, appraising look.  “Alright, Rey.  We won’t shoot him unless he tries something.”

 

Rey turns back to the shuttle and nods to Hux.  Then she pleads again to Leia Organa, “Hear him out.  Please.”

 

Everyone waits.  Rey holds her breath.

 

Slowly, Army walks down the shuttle ramp with his hands up.   The commander of the Starkiller, the famous redheaded orator general, is instantly recognizable.

 

Leia Organa’s jaw drops. 

 

She whirls on Rey, “You brought HIM here?  HIM??”  Leia Organa folds her arms over her chest and pops out her hip.  For such a diminutive woman, Rey thinks the Resistance general is plenty intimidating.  Leia Organa looks Hux over with blatant contempt. 

 

Rey suddenly gets worried that Hux is behind her and she herself is still in the line of fire.  So she again starts trying to make peace.  “Let us explain why he's here.  General, it's not what you think—“

 

Leia Organa scoffs at this.  “Oh yes, it is!   This is your First Order boyfriend you told me about?   General Armitage Hux?”  The look she gives Rey is one of withering disappointment.  “I guess I know why you’re still alive.  You had friends in very high places, didn’t you?  Somebody get some cuffs and guards on this guy!” she hollers over her shoulder. 

 

“Wait!”  Rey countermands this order.  She turns to Leia Organa, “He's not my boyfriend.  He’s just a friend and he’s here to help you.  You need to listen to him!”

 

But Kylo’s mother is having none of it.  “You lied to me!  You said your boyfriend wasn't in the military.  But in fact, he's their lead general himself!   A war criminal, Rey?  How could you!”

 

“He's not my boyfriend.”  Belatedly, Rey realizes that Army is standing right there and she is rubbing salt in his wounded heart.   Suddenly, this is really awkward. 

 

The Resistance General shakes her head.  “I guess this explains why Kylo Ren hasn't killed you yet.  Hux here was able to keep you away from him—“

 

“Not quite,” Hux finally speaks up.  He shoots Rey an icy look and proceeds to goad her, “Tell them why Kylo Ren hasn't killed you yet, Princess.”

 

“Army, now is not the time,” Rey hisses as she shoots him a glare.  This conversation won’t help matters.  Army might be livid with her over Kylo, but for now their interests are aligned and she and Army should be working together so they both don’t get shot.   And besides, Rey has done an admirable job of suppressing her own anger with Army.  He can suck it up and do the same.

 

But the general has other ideas.  “Go on, Princess,” Army sneers.  It’s clear that her quick and repeated denials of their relationship have hurt him further and now he is looking to hurt her in return. “Tell them your secret.”

 

Leia Organa misunderstands.  “No one calls me that anymore, kid,” she snaps back at Hux.  “I’m General Organa to you.”  The Resistance general is offended to be so addressed by her enemy counterpart.  She clearly finds it patronizing.

 

Hux smirks and gestures to Rey.  “I'm talking to her.  To that princess.”

 

“To Rey?”  Leia Organa is confused.  “Rey is a scavenger from Jakku.”

 

“Perhaps.  But she is also Princess Renata, Supreme Leader Snoke's newest pet.” 

 

“Princess?” Kylo’s mother parrots in shock.

 

“Yes.  I have just delivered to you a very valuable captive,” Hux announces as Rey whirls to stare at him.  “Consider her a gift to show my good faith.  I have all the information you need to win this war, General Organa.  I’m here to trade it and her for sanctuary.”

 

“I am not your captive,” Rey growls at Army.  “Nor yours,” she glares at Leia Organa.  Just what the Hell has she gotten herself into, Rey fumes.

 

Leia Organa ignores this.  She’s focused on Hux.  “We don’t harbor war criminals here,” Alderaan’s famous surviving princess is emphatic.

 

“Haven’t you heard?  The enemy of your enemy is your friend, General,” Hux gibes.  “I’m willing to tell you everything I know about the upcoming invasion.”

 

“And why should we trust you?” Leia Organa challenges.

 

“Because there’s not much time and I’m the best you have,” Hux reasons.  “And because you want to live and to win.”

 

“So you two are not a couple?”  General Organa looks from Rey to Hux and then back to Rey.  “He’s not your First Order boyfriend?”

 

“No,” Rey spits out with a hard look for Army Hux.  Her one-time friend who today has kidnapped her and is trying to trade her to his enemies for his own advantage.  And maybe a little revenge.

 

“Tell her who your boyfriend is, Rey,” Hux prompts her.   “Tell her why Kylo Ren didn’t kill you.  Tell her why Leader Snoke calls you his daughter.  Tell her why you are a Sith princess.”

 

Rey ignores him.  “I’m leaving now,” she announces.  “I’m taking this shuttle and I’m leaving.  I’m not here to join the Resistance.  I was only here to deliver General Hux.  I’m sorry, General Leia, but I have told you all along that I don’t want to join the Resistance.”

 

“Don’t let her leave,” Hux grabs for Rey’s arm but she shrugs him off.  “She’s the best leverage you have.  Grab her!”  But no one moves a muscle. 

 

“Why?”  Leia Organa eyes them both suspiciously.  It’s clear she doesn’t trust either of them.  “Why is she valuable to Snoke and to the First Order?  Is it because she has the Force?” 

 

Rey starts backing up the ramp.   She needs to get out of here before someone slaps cuffs on her and then she’s being used as bait for Kylo.  She takes a deep breath and summons the Force, ready to fight.  All along, Rey has known this was a risky endeavor.  But as furious as she is at Army, she doesn’t want him to die.  And the only way to ensure that wouldn’t happen is for Army to turn traitor to the Resistance.  And so, Snoke’s daughter herself has become an accessory to General Hux’s defection to the enemy.   But Rey feels partly responsible for all of this and so she’s taking the risk.  It’s yet another strange turn of events that only happens to her. 

 

“Stop her!  She’s Kylo Ren’s lover!”  Hux howls, irritated that no one leaps to do his bidding.  But this is the Resistance and he doesn’t command anyone here.

 

“Rey!  Stop!  Wait!”  This comes from a new voice.  A man’s voice.  Rey is halfway up the ramp when she sighs and stops.  She knows that voice and she knows there’s no running away from the speaker.  Sure enough, the Jedi has just jogged up to join the group.  “I knew I felt your presence.  Rey, don’t leave.  Not yet.”

 

“Who’s the old guy?” Hux eyes the newcomer.

 

“That’s Luke Skywalker,” Rey says dryly.  “Congratulations Army, you finally found him.  Too bad you’re not First Order any longer or Snoke would give you a promotion.”

 

“You’re the Jedi Master?”  Hux is unimpressed as he looks the bearded man in drab robes up and down.  “You’re Luke Skywalker?”

 

“You’re Ben’s lover?” Leia Organa sputters incredulously at Rey.  She exchanges glances with her brother the Jedi.

 

“Ben?  Who’s Ben?  Seize her!  She’s Kylo Ren’s girl!” Hux is exasperated.  “And Snoke’s Sith Princess,” he adds as an afterthought.  “Either way, she’s excellent leverage against that pair—don’t let her get away!  How can you Resistance idiots win so much when you are so slow on the uptake . . .” he groans.

 

“Is it true?”  Luke Skywalker asks quietly as Hux fumes and Leia Organa scowls.  The rest of the crowd is transfixed by this juicy reveal.  You can hear a pin drop in the Resistance hangar.

 

“Yes, it’s true,” Rey answers simply.  There’s no point in lying to a Jedi.  And she needs all the credibility she can get for this conversation.

 

“How?  When did this happen?” Master Luke asks. 

 

“I met Kylo in the desert and we became friends.  He saved me once from slavers, Master Luke.”

 

“That sounds like Ben,” his mother allows with a sigh.  “The old Ben . . . “

 

“There is Light in him, Leia.  There has always been Light in him,” Luke Skywalker says gravely.  “Just not enough to make a difference.  Not for anyone but Rey, it seems.”  The old Jedi Master crosses his arms and strokes at his beard.  He looks deeply disappointed in her.  “You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them, Rey.”

 

“I am not a Sith,” Rey says simply.  “I knew Kylo before I knew you, Master Luke.  I had no idea who he was when I first met him.”

 

“So the whole time you were with us at the Resistance, you were with Ben?” the Jedi concludes.

 

“Yes, and how she must have laughed listening to us warn her about Ben and the Sith,” General Leia answers for Rey.

 

“No, that’s not true!”  Rey looks Master Luke in the eye.  “I was afraid to tell you.  I didn’t understand what I had gotten myself into, Master Luke.”  Rey sighs heavily.  “I never wanted to be a part of this war.  I only wanted to learn the truth of my family.”  Back then, waiting for her family was what mattered most to Rey.  But that seems like so long ago.  So much has happened since she left Jakku.

 

Leia Organa considers her coolly.  “Yes, I could see how Ben would be a fool for a girl with the Force.  I’m surprised old Snoke let you live.  Why does he call you a princess?” 

 

Rey shrugs this off as unimportant.  “It’s just a title he made up.  I’m not a princess, you know that.  I’m a desert scavenger from Jakku.  And you know why, Master Luke.”

 

“She’s the daughter—granddaughter—something like that of the old Emperor,” Hux volunteers, still trying to ingratiate himself with the Resistance by incriminating her.  And now, Rey has never been more glad that Kylo had taken her to buzz the _Finalizer_ bridge to flip off Army Hux.  Kylo Ren is an excellent judge of character, Rey decides.   Because friend or no friend, she herself is ready to murder General Hux right now.

 

“No, she’s not,” Leia Organa corrects Hux impatiently.   “Rey’s grandmother was a Jedi,”

 

Master Luke is not so sure.  “Is what he says true, Rey?”

 

She sighs.  “Yes.  My grandmother was given to the Jedi as an infant by the estranged wife of Snoke’s Apprentice.”  Rey looks away.  “Snoke had separated them.  He did not approve of the wife of Darth Sidious.”

 

“That sounds controlling like him,” Master Luke observes.   “Except Sidious was into guys, Rey.  Snoke lied to you.  That old Muun has all sorts of creative lies about his so-called Sith family.  Likely, he was only trying to flatter you and to control you.” 

 

Whatever.  It doesn’t matter if they don’t believe her.   “I’m leaving now,” Rey announces again.  She’s not here to make friends or negotiate peace, she’s only trying to survive.  And to do that, she needs to get out of the Resistance base that the First Order is about to attack.  “Do not follow me.  I do not wish to be found.”

 

“Are you going back to Ben?” Leia Organa asks.

 

“Or is it back to Snoke?”  Master Luke’s eyes narrow.

 

“I’m through with this war.  I’m going back to Jakku,” Rey announces.   There’s no point in going back to the Supreme Leader’s bunker now that Army Hux is about to tell the Resistance all about it.  It will be an instant target because that’s where Snoke hides and both Army and the Resistance will want to take out Snoke.  And since Army is about to tell the Resistance everything he knows, that theoretically endangers any place she might go in the First Order command.  That just leaves Jakku, as far as Rey is concerned.  She will hide out in the open on the turf she knows the best.

 

“Jakku?  Why would you want to go back to Jakku?” Hux screws up his face.

 

“Jakku all I have ever wanted.”  Rey glances over at the Skywalker twins.  “You two know that.  I will go back to Jakku to sit on the sidelines of this war.  When it’s all over, I will make peace with the winner.”  Rey learned long ago not to pick battles she can’t win.  Back on Jakku, she couldn’t win against Unkar Plutt.  And now, she can’t win against the Skywalkers.   So she’s not going to fight.  Her plan is simply to survive this war.  For herself and for this maybe baby.

 

Rey looks from Kylo’s uncle to his mother.  “You know, I like each of you Skywalkers in your own way.  Maybe it’s because you’re all so alike.  It’s too bad that you can’t see those similarities.  All you see is the differences.   And that’s a shame because a lot of people have died for your family’s conflicts.”

 

“What are you talking about, Rey?”  Hux complains.

 

Rey’s cynicism pours out now.  “You and the First Order rank and file have been played, General Hux.  So has the Resistance here.  You each think you are fighting for a cause and for a future, but you’re just pawns as this family fights over the Force and fights over the galaxy.    They are all one family—Snoke, Ren, General Organa here and Luke Skywalker.  Light or Dark, Jedi or Sith, First Order or Resistance, it doesn’t matter in the end.  All that matters is that they are Skywalkers one and all.  No matter how it turns out, this family wins and this family rules.”

 

“The Leader’s a Muun, he’s not a Skywalker,” Army reminds her. 

 

“Yes, he is,” Rey confirms.  “When you sit down with your new friends to exchange information, Army, make sure you ask some questions of your own.  Now,” Rey turns back to General Organa, “You need to evacuate this base immediately.  The First Order is on their way.  I’m sure they tracked us here and they have an invasion for this base already planned.  I have no idea how long you have.  Good luck.”

 

Rey turns now to Army.  She is angry that he dragged her into this mess with his kidnapping.  And she’s even angrier that he has turned on her just now.  With gritted teeth and much resignation, Rey tells him, “Army, I never meant to hurt you.  I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be.  I can only be myself.  But you're on your own now.  I won't be a part of this any further.”

 

“Because you are loyal to the First Order?  And to my son?” Leia Organa goads.

 

Rey whirls as her temper finally flares.   The emotions of the last few hours get the better of Rey.  “It’s because I have more important concerns right now!” she snaps.  Like getting out of here ASAP.  “I want no part of your war!”  Rey takes a deep breath now and regains her composure.  “Master Luke, if you w-win,” it’s hard for Rey to say that word knowing its implications, “then please come find me.  You know where to find me.”

 

“Stop her!” Army howls.  The Resistance guards are uncertain what to do.

 

But then Luke Skywalker weighs in.  “Let her go, Leia.  It’s best to her let her go.”  The Resistance general nods and the guards stand down.

 

“Thank you,” Rey tells the Jedi.

 

“May the Force be with you, Rey,” he responds quietly while his sister eyes Rey resentfully.

 

Rey heads into the shuttle and takes off in a hurry.   She sets course for Jakku.

 

Sometime during the long journey to the Western Reaches, Rey falls asleep sitting up in the pilot’s chair.  It’s a fitful, restless and uncomfortable sleep that is interrupted by a nightmare.  Rey awakes with a start and a yell.   She is panting and sweating and disoriented.  It feels like something terrible has happened.  She can’t remember the details of the dream, but she keenly feels the rush of fear.  And there is something else.  Loss.  Forever, soul-crushing loss. 

 

_Kylo?_   She reaches out in the Force, hoping for comfort and news.  But her mind is befuddled from sleep and from the nightmare.  Rey can’t seem to concentrate.  Plus, Kylo has always been the one to instigate a connection in the past, never her.  It is much harder than she thought.   She tries once more and gives up.  Soon, she sinks back again into a semblance of sleep.  She’s so tired these days.  It’s one of the changes that has her strongly suspecting a pregnancy.

 

It is the next day when finally Rey arrives back home.  She lands first in the ships graveyard.  Rey drags the unlucky pilot Army murdered off the shuttle.  There's no place to bury him in the desert.  So instead, Rey drags him into the _Ravager_ wreck.  She figures this First Order pilot will be at peace here with the other bodies of anonymous soldiers of the Empire.  She pulls off the pilot’s dog tags and retrieves his identification.  Then Rey stands there a moment, looking down at the unlucky man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  He had signed up to fight for the First Order only to be murdered by its premiere general who turned traitor.  May the Force be with you, Rey blesses the dead man.  May the Force be with us all. 

 

Next, she takes the shuttle to her old home, setting the stolen craft down on dunes next to her AT-AT.  She takes her time about going in.  Rey stands outside in the hot sun for many minutes before entering.  

 

She has seen this war from both sides and come full circle.  From Jakku to the Resistance to the First Order and now back to Jakku.  Today's homecoming is what Rey has wanted for so long.  And yet, she feels very conflicted now that the time has come.  Sometimes, you get what you want in life only to discover it’s not what you expected.   Or maybe, it’s not what you need.

 

When she ventures inside, Rey is not surprised to find that her home has been picked clean during her long absence.   Nothing of value remains.  Just a few random personal belongings and some pieces of old equipment that are not be saleable at the trading post.  Her staff is missing, as are her speeder bike, all her furnishings, her water jugs and food stores.  Someone has even hauled away the big flight simulator training module.  The little that’s left is strewn about in haphazard fashion and half covered by sand that has blown in. 

 

The AT-AT is a mostly empty mess, but it's home.  And it’s good to be home.

 

Rey heads for the shuttle now and starts looking for clothing.   Her fancy dress is stained with dirt and sweat and it's completely unsuitable for the desert.  Half an hour later, she is sporting some guy's uniform pants that basically fit when rolled up and cinched tight with a makeshift belt.  The matching jacket is too big, so she rips off the arms and half of the length to make it something of a vest.  Rey wears the vest over a man's tank top undershirt she locates.  She'll have to trade for some new boots, so for now she's still wearing her flat princess slippers. 

 

One thing is missing.  So Rey lays out her ivory princess dress on the floor of the shuttle.  It feels strangely satisfying to tear strips of fabric from its long, full skirt.  Slowly, Rey wraps the strips around her arms.  She had walked the halls of Snoke's bunker wearing this dress but underneath the veneer of glamour lurked her scavenger self.  And now that she is back to being the scavenger again, a little bit of the princess is still present.  That's how the past works:  it always remains with you in some way or another.  Your experiences help form who you are and who you will be.  And that's why she is wearing a man's First Order uniform with arm wraps torn from Coruscant couture.   She might have reverted back to being Rey of Jakku, but her life with the Sith has left its mark.

 

When she is finished wrapping, Rey makes her way back into her AT-AT.  She takes a deep breath and begins making marks on the wall.  She has kept the tally in her head all these many months.  One mark for every day she has been gone.  One mark for each day at the Resistance and one mark for each day with the First Order.  One mark for each day she survived the Skywalkers and their war. 

 

That’s when the tears start to fall.  Rey isn’t exactly sure what she is crying for, there’s so much to choose from.  And once she starts, she can’t stop.  Is she crying for herself, for Kylo, for Army, or for that unlucky pilot?  Is she crying for the war, for all the lives lost, for all the cities destroyed, or for the elusive hope of peace?  Maybe she is crying for her uncertain future, for this unexpected and uncertain pregnancy, and for the Sith who may never live to see his child.  She doesn’t know what happened on Crait after she left, and Rey is terrified to find out.  But also frantic to know. 

 

_Where are you, Kylo?_   Rey tries again unsuccessfully to reach him in the Force.  _Kylo?  Kylo, can you hear me?_

Does she have a connection?  If so, it is murky and instable, slipping away fast.  In the brief torrent of emotion she senses, Rey gets only the merest hint of a thought.  _I can’t believe he’s gone._

 

Frustrated and worried, Rey wanders back into the shuttle and turns on the holonet in hopes it will have news of Kylo Ren.  It’s playing live broadcast war footage from Coruscant.  The First Order invasion of the Core has begun. 

 

The coverage is frustrating to Rey.  When the newsfeeds don't have anything concrete to say, they report rumors and verbally wring their hands over and over again rather than let the visuals speak for themselves.  The reporters don’t know anything more than anyone else, but they feel compelled to fill the air time with chatter.  They speak of unconfirmed reports of a battle at the Resistance headquarters prior to the invasion.  Anonymous Resistance sources say that General Leia Organa may have been killed or wounded in the fighting along with her public scold and enemy counterpart General Armitage Hux.   Eyewitnesses say that the Jedi Luke Skywalker was there but the rest of the information is sketchy and conflicting.   The First Order has no comment on the matter.

 

Where is Kylo Ren?  Apparently, Rey isn’t the only one who wants to know.  The holonet panel of commentators and experts wonder this aloud to one another.   Kylo Ren is always at the forefront of his troops and yet there are no reports of sightings of him on Coruscant.   This is noted as very odd and potentially meaningful.  The First Order PR machine has gone silent, someone observes, and that too is extraordinary.  They usually have their partisan representatives all over the holonet with prepared talking points to spout their message real-time as the bombs drop.  It's all very ominous and uncharacteristic, some news analyst decides.   Almost like they weren't ready for this to occur.  Something's going on behind the scenes at the First Order concludes an old Mon Calamari military analyst who fought way back in the Clone Wars.  This is highly unusual.  That alone tells us something.

 

It doesn't tell Rey anything.   What she really wants to know is whether Kylo is alive and whether he has fought his uncle.  And, she would like to know Army's true fate as well. 

 

Rey watches a few more minutes, irritated by all the baseless speculation and alarmed by the unrelenting slaughter.  Coruscant is a densely populated city world and the civilian casualties will be enormous.  She can’t watch this.  Instead, she sits in silence.  She waits.  Rey of Jakku knows all about waiting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter until the end of Part 3. There will be a Part 4.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are concerned about triggers, please see the notes at the end. Also, please see the story tags. There are no safe spaces in a blueenvelopes fic.
> 
> There is one more chapter after this left in Part 3.  I couldn't manage to shoehorn the ending into a single chapter like I had planned. There will be a Part 4. 
> 
> I may post some story notes before Part 4 just because this one has gotten so loooong already.

Flying this slow piece of shit shuttle to the Resistance base has Kylo increasingly antsy.  At the rate this poke ass pilot is flying, the battle will be over by the time he arrives at Crait.   Kylo Ren is not a patient man by nature, but given the circumstances he is especially frustrated.   What the fuck is taking so long?

 

The transponder tracker on his command shuttle shows it deep in hyperspace in the Outer Rim.  So Kylo isn't surprised that Rey isn’t at the Resistance when he arrives.  He would have sensed her immediately in the Force.  He does, however, sense his uncle.  And then he sees him.  Old Luke Skywalker stands in the middle of the empty Resistance hangar with his saber lit.  He's deflecting blaster bolts from Kylo's troops with a lazy ease.  It's almost effortless for the Jedi Master. 

 

Kylo’s pulse quickens.  He feels the Force swirl around his mind.

 

Watching his uncle standing out in the open amid a cluster of bodies at his feet, Kylo can't help but wonder if the Jedi has been waiting for him.   Why else would he be recklessly standing there in the middle of a battle?  Usually, Luke Skywalker would have fled the scene by now with a few women and children in tow.   His uncle always manages to rescue a few people to make it look like he is saving them and not just saving himself. 

 

"Are you going to run again?" Kylo drawls as he stalks forward.  "Because I'm getting tired of that."

 

"No, Ben.”  His uncle is looking at him as he deflects a blaster bolt from behind on instinct alone.  “I'm not running anymore."

 

"Good."   Kylo lights his sword.  Even without a command, his men now automatically fall back and cease firing.   They know the drill when Skywalker shows up.  Killing the Jedi is an honor reserved for Kylo Ren alone.  No one gets to interfere.

 

"I’ve got this, boss," Nestor calls out as he and the rest of the knights begin to fan out across the hangar.  "We'll find her."

 

"She's not here," Kylo responds.  He turns back to the Jedi as it occurs to him that maybe Rey isn't actually on his shuttle anymore.  Maybe Hux has the shuttle alone.  "Was Rey here?" he questions Luke Skywalker.  "Where is she?"

 

"Yes, your girlfriend was here with your war criminal friend."

 

"Hux is not my friend."

 

"Good," his uncle responds. "Because he's dead."  Luke Skywalker nods over to his left and Kylo follows his eyes.  Yep, that's Hux lying decapitated by a lightsaber on the floor. 

 

"You just solved a problem for me, Jedi."   Kylo smirks behind his mask.  "I'm surprised that Hux lived long enough for you to kill him.  I was hoping that someone would shoot him on sight.”  But enough about Hux, he thinks.  “Where is Rey?" he asks again.

 

"Rey is gone.  She left before your troops showed up.  Your general and she didn't seem to be on good terms."

 

"Hux dragged her off with a blaster to her head and stole my ship," Kylo complains as he walks over to survey the fallen general.  He’s a little disappointed he didn’t get to kill Hux himself.  Trust it to Hux to be annoying enough to piss off the zen Jedi so much he lost his head.  Kylo nudges the body with his foot and then gives it a swift and satisfying kick.  "I guess I don't have to worry about him turning traitor." 

 

“No,” Skywalker agrees grimly.

 

Kylo looks back at his uncle and it occurs to him that this is absurdly casual.  Like they are friends and not mortal enemies holding lit lightsabers.    This could be a conversation Kylo might have with Nestor as they survey the aftermath of a battle.  Except it's with his super chill Jedi uncle.   And that's weird.   This sort of thing ought to have more drama.  Through the years, Kylo has imagined this confrontation countless ways in his mind.  But never like this. 

 

The Jedi shifts now, but he seems rooted to the spot standing amid his several fallen comrades.  Kylo looks closer now at the face down body Luke Skywalker hovers over protectively.  And it’s . . .

 

FUCK! 

 

Kylo tears off his mask.  He stares down at the figure of a small human woman in a Resistance uniform.  He recognizes those hair braids.  The hair color is more grey now than the dark chestnut he remembers from his youth.  But the petite figure is the same. 

 

FUCK! 

 

Kylo drops his mask with a loud clunk.  Then he raises questioning eyes to his uncle. 

 

Luke Skywalker is distracted, probably because he's seeing his nephew for the first time in over a decade without his mask.  His uncle looks taken aback. 

 

"You're not a kid anymore,” Luke Skywalker observes in a hushed tone.  “I guess I knew that."

 

"What happened?"  Kylo asks hoarsely.   He has not anticipated Leia Organa’s death.  And he has not anticipated his reaction to it.  Kylo is horrified.   Both because it has occurred and because he did not sense it in the Force.

 

Luke Skywalker for his part is dispassionate.  He could be talking about the weather instead of his twin sister’s death, such is his calm.  "General Hux killed her when your troops first arrived,” the Jedi explains matter of fact.  “I think he hoped he could get back in Snoke's good graces if he killed your mother."  

 

Kylo digests this.  So Hux had finally cracked.  All the months of torture had succeeded in breaking the general after all.   It had culminated today in Hux taking Rey, turning traitor and now this.   None of it makes much sense and all of it is completely out of character.  "He was desperate," Kylo surmises.

 

The Jedi agrees.  "I think it was a rational act in his own mind.   He panicked."  Luke Skywalker's face for a moment betrays all of his pain.  He intakes a loud, ragged breath and then exhales slowly.  "It was quick and clean.  A shot to the heart."  The Jedi's eyes are teary now.  It’s more emotion than Kylo can ever remember seeing from his uncle.  "Your friend Hux is good at killing people,” Skywalker rasps bitterly as he looks away.

 

Kylo makes a face over at the headless traitor general.  "You killed him quicker than he deserved.”

 

"I think he thought you would be happy," growls the Jedi.  “I thought you would be happy too,” he adds.

 

Kylo’s not happy.  Hux and the rest of the First Order officer ranks know what the Resistance does not:  that there is a standing order that General Leia Organa be taken alive and, if possible, unharmed.  The Muun's orders on this matter have long been explicitly clear.  The ultimate fate of Darth Vader’s daughter is a matter for the Sith Master himself.   What Hux did today was pure vengeance and frustration, most likely.  He knew he was going to die and he wanted to take his foe with him.  Suddenly, Kylo is very glad that Rey had fled the scene first or else she might have been Hux’s victim instead of his mother.

 

Kylo meets his uncle’s gaze.  "Killing her was never the plan.  You are the one who is supposed to die."  

 

When Luke Skywalker does not react, Kylo asks, "Did Hux hurt Rey?"  The last he saw, Hux had her in a chokehold with a blaster to her temple.

 

"No.  But if Rey had stayed any longer, she might have hurt him."

 

Yes, that sounds like his girl.  "It's too bad she didn't,” Kylo complains bitterly.

 

“Agreed.”

 

They fall into a mutual silence and Kylo’s eyes wander back to his mother’s fallen form.  He bites at his lip, deciding.  Yeah, he needs to do this.  He will regret it later if he doesn’t do this.  She’s his mother, after all. 

 

"Step back," Kylo orders.  "I want to see her."   And, fuck!  His voice just cracked when he said that. 

 

That moment of weakness must be what convinces his uncle.  Luke Skywalker gives him a long measuring look before he walks a good five meters away.  The Jedi's sword is still lit but it's held down.

 

Kylo deactivates his own weapon.  Then he swallows hard and sinks to his knees.  With a trembling hand, he reaches to roll Leia Organa's body over.  Her unseeing eyes are open and they seem to look right at him.  Accusing him. 

 

FUCK! 

 

“Death is the way of things.  It is the way of the Force,” Luke Skywalker intones the old Jedi adage.  Is his uncle trying to comfort him?  Or comfort himself?   It doesn’t matter.  Kylo isn’t listening as the Jedi rattles on about rejoicing for those around you who transform into the Force.  Kylo has stopped hearing things.  Now, he simply feels them. 

 

"Mom."   The word slips out involuntarily before he can stop it.  And with it comes a flood of memories that hurt.  

 

He remembers the bitter loud fights with his father behind closed doors that his mother would never acknowledge afterwards.  Watching her Senate speeches along with the rest of his kindergarten class, he’s a little proud and a little embarrassed because that is his mom.  He walks unannounced into her office and she looks up to ask 'Benny, did you need something?'  No, he hadn't needed anything specific, just some of her time.  Then the nanny catches him and shoos him out.  His mother is doing important work for the Republic and she can't be bothered. 

 

A few years later, there are no more loud fights because his father has left.  Now his mother is worried about his sullen preteen self, complaining that he spends too much time reading about the Clone Wars.  It’s not healthy for a boy to have no friends and spend all his time reading about war.  Her solution is to send him to live at his uncle’s Jedi Academy.   ‘It’s for the best,’ she tells him. ‘You’ll like it.  Plus, that general Anakin Skywalker you like so much was a Jedi.’  It turns out not to be such a big deal to be sent away.  He rarely sees his Senator mother much anyway.  She’s always traveling to do important work for the Republic.

 

It’s not long before he’s an angsty, unfocused teenager.  He’s the only Skywalker padawan but he’s the worst student of all.  Reckless and emotional—the very opposite of the Jedi ideal.  Then one day he receives his mother’s tearful message revealing the Dark truth of his family.  She wanted him to hear it from her before it hits the holonet.  It's going to ruin her career, she complains as she wipes at her eyes.  Now, no one will ever see me as anything other than Darth Vader's daughter.  As usual, it had been all about her career and her beloved Republic.  Leia Organa was devoted to her cause in a way she had never devoted herself to his father or to him. 

 

That message had been the last straw.  That very night, he had lit his sword and set out to impress the mysterious Muun with some Darth Vader moves of his own.   Ben Solo’s teenaged Jedi purge had proven himself worthy of the title Apprentice.  And finally, he had succeeded in getting his mother's attention. 

 

Looking down now at her lifeless form, Kylo realizes that he's always been needy, even as a kid.  Far too needy to be this woman’s son.   He is Kylo Ren, the Sith Apprentice who has conquered two-thirds of the galaxy.  No one ignores him any longer.  Now, his work is the important work.  It may have taken his family a long time to realize it, but he matters.  In a big way.   Kylo had wanted his mother to live to see his victory.  For her to live to see her Republic destroyed and her Resistance beaten.  But that opportunity is lost now.   Lost along with her.

 

FUCK!

 

Kylo rides the intense tide of emotion.  Bathes his mind in it for long moments.  And then, with a discipline born of long practice, he channels it into power.   He feels the Shadow Force leap to his command and his senses heighten. 

 

But it’s not enough.  More . . . he needs more pain . . .

 

He looks down at Leia Organa, seeing her shocked expression. Damn, if the old girl doesn't look a bit indignant to have been killed by Hux.  Her arms lie slack and for a second he remembers what it felt like to have those arms tight around him.  For her hand to playfully tousle his hair.  Yes, his dead mother is just what he needs to duel the Jedi.  Thank you, Hux.

 

Kylo Ren is a Sith.  Pain is his power, hate will make him a hero, and vengeance will bring him victory.  Yes . . . it's now or never, Kylo thinks as he climbs to his feet, lights his sword and announces “The Force is with me" to his uncle.

 

Then he attacks.

It’s not with his sword, it’s with his power.  All the emotions churning within him make him powerful.  And, Dark.  Oh, so Dark.  The Force leaps to do Kylo’s bidding.  Lightning streams from his left hand in a torrent of deadly fury.   This is the raw elemental power of the Dark Side that only a mature Sith can wield.  It’s an impressive display, and Skywalker struggles to deflect the lightning with his sword.  They stay like that a long moment before Kylo relents.

This isn’t the first time he has cast lightning, but it is still draining and hard.  Oddly enough, Kylo feels better for having released some of his anger and confusion.  Intense emotions are empowering but also confusing.  That lightning had taken the edge off and cleared his head.  Now, he’s ready to fight.

 

“Your powers are weak, old man,” Kylo taunts his old Jedi Master as he twirls his sword, warming up his grip and his wrist.  “You should not have come back.”   He scowls at his old teacher and boasts, “When I left you, I was but the learner.  Now, I am the master.”

 

“Only a master of evil, Ben.”   Luke Skywalker is detached, controlled and calm.   He's at peace with the Force and a master of his emotions.  It is the furthest thing from Kylo's current state.  “Snoke is just using you for your power.  When he gets what he wants, he’ll crush you.  He will never let you rule the galaxy, Ben.  Even if he lets you live, you will always be his slave.”

 

Yes, yes, Kylo has heard this all before.  Once you start down the Dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, etc. etc.  Kylo remembers all those old Jedi platitudes.  And so he doesn’t bother answering with words.  He answers with his sword, coming in fast from the left.  His blade is a red streak spinning as it swings for Skywalker’s head.  But it is deflected in time.

 

The Jedi responds in kind and nearly takes Kylo’s arm off.  And now, Kylo begrudgingly admits that his uncle is still spry and he knows how to use a sword.  There will be nothing easy about this fight.

 

Once the first few attacks and answers are over, the two men circle one another.  Each sizing up the other’s saber skills.  Kylo has youth on his side, but his uncle has far more experience in these sorts of showdowns.  Still, at over six feet, Kylo has the distinct advantage of a longer sword reach.  Plus, Luke Skywalker’s counterbalancing speed seems to have diminished somewhat. 

 

They are the last Jedi and a Sith Apprentice, two very different men with two very different lives and two very different goals.  Luke Skywalker has nothing left to lose. The man is a failure and he is old and alone, Kylo thinks.  His dream of rebuilding the Jedi is lost, his students are all dead, and his nephew is Sith.  His best friend died at Hosnia and his twin sister lies dead at his feet.  And so today is a last stand for this resigned-looking man who has lived long enough to see all his accomplishments fade into history.

 

Kylo, by contrast, has every incentive he needs to win.  Killing his uncle ends the Jedi, avenges Darth Vader, earns him his Darth title, and wins him Rey for a wife.   And it is a necessary hurdle to winning the galaxy for the Sith.  He is a man not yet in his prime and his future is bright.  He has yet to make all the history he intends.

 

"Look how old you’ve become.  How slow,” Kylo taunts as he throws up a hand to Force push his uncle back mid-swing.   Their swords fail to connect and Kylo advances, pushing his uncle back.  But the Jedi answers with a quick riposte of his own.  They are evenly matched, Kylo decides.  And so his new strategy is to draw the battle out and tire his uncle.  Kylo Ren regularly swings a sword in battle for hours at a time.  Luke Skywalker does not. 

 

Everything Luke Skywalker knows about saber dueling he learned from Yoda and Kenobi.  His saber passes are refined and he moves with an economy of motion.  No gesture is wasted.  It's the elegant style of a bygone, more civilized age.  It is also somewhat predictable.  And so, the Jedi keeps changing it up, hurling around things with the Force and trying to catch Kylo off guard with pushes and freezes.  The Jedi fights as much with the Force as he does with his sword.

 

Luke Skywalker is a man who famously threw his sword down rather than kill his own father.  True to form, he has long sought to avoid killing his nephew.  First attempting to redeem Kylo and then attempting to recruit Rey to kill him.  Today, it seems, the Jedi has had a change of heart.  Or maybe it's a crisis of faith.  Is it the loss of his beloved sister or was there an ugly confrontation with Rey that has Luke Skywalker finally determined to kill him?  Kylo can’t help but notice that this time around, his uncle is not even bothering to attempt to lure him back to the Light. 

 

And that perplexes Kylo and sort of disappoints him.  “Where’s the lecture, Jedi?” Kylo goads as he shoots another bolt of lightning at his uncle.  “Where’s the speech about don’t give in to hate?  About how there is still Light in me?” 

 

Luke Skywalker looks grimly determined now.  “I used to think that I failed you, Ben.  That I was responsible for your fall to the Dark Side.  I made mistakes, I admit that.  Your parents made mistakes too.  But we didn’t fail you.  You failed yourself.  Time and again, as a grown man you have had the chance to correct your path.  But you foolishly decline.”

 

“Ah,” Kylo purrs.  “So finally, you will concede that I am Sith beyond redemption.”

 

“None of us is beyond redemption, Ben.  But the change has to come from within you.  Not from me.”  The Last Jedi comes in fast from the left as he says this.  He’s swinging to kill.  It’s his favorite attack pattern, Kylo remembers from years past.  Kylo could deflect it as a teen, so it is no great threat years later to a fully trained Sith with reflexes seasoned in war.  It’s more like swatting at a fly.

 

“I don’t feel sorry for you any longer, Ben,” says the unexpectedly hardened Jedi warrior. “The one I feel sorry for is Rey.  I liked her.  A lot.  I still do even though she essentially lied to me.”

 

“She’s a Sith princess, Jedi.  She’s a natural at deceit,” Kylo crows as he dodges and weaves with his sword.

 

“She is the Light,” Luke Skywalker corrects him.  And now here comes the lecture Kylo has been expecting, just on a different topic.  “She deserves better than you.   You will only drag her down with your Darkness and break her heart.”

 

“Once I kill you, I’m going to marry that girl,” Kylo boasts to his celibate former Jedi Master.

 

“She would probably marry you now, given the circumstances,” the Jedi agrees as he blocks Kylo’s latest attempt to freeze him in the Force.  “But then, she’ll never get away from you.  And then, our family’s pain will continue on another generation and more of us will be lost to the Sith.”  His uncle shakes his head and scolds Kylo like the nag he has always been.  “There are no happy endings on the Dark Side, Ben.  Our family keeps proving that over and over again.”

 

So, his uncle is finally determined to kill him because of Rey?  This is a surprise.  The old Jedi must have taken his Padawan’s rejection worse than Kylo thought.  Or maybe his mother’s death has the Jedi feeling resigned now.  Maybe, Kylo wonders, his mother has been the reason for Skywalker’s forbearance all along.   

 

“Things will be different for us.”   Kylo won’t let he and Rey repeat the mistakes of the past.  They will be the Skywalkers who stay together and are happy.  For Kylo intends to have it all:  both the galaxy and the girl.  And someday when they are ready, a little Ren or two.   His Master would like that.   And so would he.  The galaxy needs more Skywalker Siths.

 

“You won’t live to see it, Jedi, but it will happen.  It’s too bad my mother didn’t live to see it.   She always did love weddings.”  Kylo flashes a cheeky grin.  “She could have come to our Sith temple and watched Snoke give the bride away.”

 

Skywalker buzzes an infinity loop swing entirely too close to Kylo’s head now and he leaps back.  Kylo has managed to get under his uncle’s skin, he sees.  It makes him smile.

 

“How’s it feel to have your would-be Padawan turn out to be my girl all along?” Kylo jeers.

 

“You mean the girlfriend you tried to arrest to get back?” Skywalker responds sharply.  “She stayed with us a very long time for a girl who was supposedly desperate to get back to you.  It looks like you are way more into Rey than she is into you, Ben.”

 

“She was just biding her time.  Rey saw through the lies of the Jedi, just like I did.  Just like Vader did.  You are the only fool who believes them anymore, Uncle.  Even my mother was never fully onboard with your cult or she would have joined herself.”  Kylo looks pointedly over at the fallen Leia Organa.  “Your zealotry didn’t protect her in the end.”

 

Kylo sees a flush across Luke Skywalker’s features and perceives that he has scored a hit.  The Jedi feels guilty over whatever went down here earlier with Hux.  As he should.

 

“You failed my mother today like you failed everyone else when you disappeared for years.   You cling to your cult and run searching for its lost dogma for answers.  When in reality, the answers are right here in front of you!” Kylo hollers.  He's enjoying angering his uncle and watching him fight for control.  It's gratifying to see the Jedi struggle with his own Dark tendencies he refuses to acknowledge.   

 

“Snoke has all the answers.  He keeps offering them to you and like an idiot, you refuse!  If you had made peace with him and Vader years ago, none of this would have happened.  And billions of people killed in your Rebellion and in this war would still be alive.  Your stubbornness is selfish, Luke Skywalker,” Kylo accuses.  “Your sanctimony about the Force only perpetuates the violence.”

 

“So says the Sith,” Luke Skywalker snaps back in uncharacteristic sarcasm.  Yes, Kylo is definitely getting under his skin.

 

They are locked in a battle of Force pushes now, each with a hand extended and his power outstretched to resist against the other.  It is a contest of wills to see who blinks first.  Kylo is straining deep in Dark concentration when he hears ion engines roar close by.  A ship is landing behind him. He glances over his shoulder.  

 

It’s a black First Order command shuttle.   Instantly, he assumes it is his with Rey onboard.  But there is no telltale flood of Light to his mind from her presence.  There is no change in the Force at all.  And that is what tips him off.  Kylo hazards another quick glance over and sees that this new craft is not his ship.  It’s in too good condition, without any battle scars and carbon scoring.  No, this is not his shuttle.  It is its twin.  And the matching black First Order command shuttle to his belongs to none other than the Muun Sith Master himself.

 

What is he doing here??

 

Sure enough, down the shuttle ramp and into the hangar glides Darth Plagueis the Wise, the Supreme Leader of the First Order and the Skywalker patriarch.  

 

Luke Skywalker sees him too.   His face hardens and darkens.  “Speak of the devil . . . “ the Jedi mutters.

 

Snoke is close enough to hear him.  “Indeed,” he smirks.

 

Kylo loses his concentration from all this distraction.  He gets himself thrown across the room for it.  But he springs to his feet immediately.  Kylo hurls a bolt of lightning at his uncle only to see it deflected by an answering bolt of lightning from the Jedi. 

 

That was unexpected.  And from the look on Luke Skywalker's face, no one is more surprised than he.

 

Kylo looks over in amazement to exchange glances with his Master.  Old Darth Plagueis grins.   "I see you have warmed him up for me.  Well done, Apprentice."  His Master now nods over at his grandson-in-the-Force Luke Skywalker.  "Jedi."

 

Skywalker coolly returns the greeting.  "Sith."

 

Snoke gives Kylo another approving glance.  "I sent you to kill him, not to turn him.  But I admire the ambition, Apprentice."  

 

Snoke may be here, but they’re not done yet as far as Kylo is concerned.  He stalks forward now to reengage the fight but his Master waves him off.  "Desist!” he orders.  

 

Kylo exchanges a surprised look with Luke Skywalker.  That’s not what either of them was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People die in my fics. Sometimes, rather abruptly. Two people are going to die in this chapter.  
> 
> I write the Sith and bad stuff happens, evil-doers often win, and straight up happy endings are rare. Life is complicated on the Dark Side. But please know that none of this is ever intended to be gratuitous or shocking. I always intend for the sex and violence in my writing to serve a purpose--it is meant to move along the plot or amplify the themes of my story.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I write a fic, I usually have a pivotal scene in mind.  It's the moment when things change (or in the case of Fulcrum, fail to change) and nothing is ever the same.  Sometimes that moment occurs right off and it takes a while for the characters to understand that the change is happening (like in His Padawan when Kylo introduces himself to Rey as Ben Solo in Chapter 1).  And sometimes you build to it, like in this chapter.  Anyhow, this is the moment that gave rise to this entire fic and it is the reason I took a break in the middle to go back and finish my short little fic A New Hope, which has become a prequel to Ghosts of the Past.  But hopefully, there is enough predicate in this story standalone for this chapter to work for readers.  I know you are all here for the Reylo mostly, but SW is a Skywalker family saga at its core.  In this case, a Sith family saga.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story notes to be posted shortly

“Desist!”

 

At his Master’s order, Kylo automatically deactivates his sword.

 

Luke Skywalker does not.

 

The old Sith shoots the Jedi a severe look that is a silent rebuke.  Then Darth Plagueis strides forward past Kylo and in front of his uncle to kneel beside the fallen Leia Organa.  Snoke lays a hand on his mother's cold cheek.  The caress is gentle and almost loverlike.  Plagueis looks down upon her in silence for a long moment.  Then he reaches to close her eyes.  “May the Force be with you, Leia Skywalker,” he intones solemnly. 

 

Then the Sith Master stands to his feet and demands of the Jedi, "Who dared to kill her?"

 

Among the First Order, the Muun's instructions have long been explicitly clear.  The ultimate fate of General Organa is a matter for the Sith Master himself.   She was not to be harmed.  Kylo has long suspected that meant his Muun Master had specific things in mind for his mother.  Plagueis has long liked his mother, Kylo knows, for reasons he’s not sure he understands.  Except he always said she reminded him of Lord Vader.

 

“Well, Jedi?” his Master prompts his silent uncle.  “Who killed your sister?”

 

"The genocidal redhead," Luke Skywalker answers gesturing to the now headless traitor lying a short distance away on the ground.

 

Kylo supplies the name and it comes out as a growl.  "Hux."

 

"If he is here, then where is our other Sith princess?" Snoke demands.  "Where is your former Padawan, Jedi?"

 

"Rey is gone,” his uncle answers vaguely.  “She left before this started."

 

"Indeed,” Snoke nods his approval.   “Our scavenger princess is ever the survivor.  She knows when to run.  Let us hope that the Force is with her.  Now more than ever."

 

Suddenly, from the recesses of the hangar, someone takes a wild shot at Snoke.  Effortlessly, the Sith freezes the blaster bolt.   Then he extends a hand and from fifty meters away the Force drags the hidden Resistance sniper into his grip.  Calmly, the Sith lifts the man clear off the ground by the neck and chokes him dead.  Then he drops the body in a heap to the floor. 

 

As stormtroopers rush to search for other hidden hostiles, the Supreme Leader stands his ground.  "Anyone else?" he announces loudly, turning a full circle to survey his surroundings.  There are crates and equipment everywhere strewn about the hangar, providing ample opportunity for someone to hide.  When there is no answering shot, the Muun calls to Nestor who still stands hovering on the periphery of the duel.  The Sith gestures to the fallen Leia Organa.  "Nestor Ren, take Lord Vader's daughter into the shuttle.  We will take her home."

 

"Like Hell you will," interrupts Luke Skywalker.  He raises his sword to eye level and stalks forward towards the Muun.  "That is my sister!   She will not be laid to rest by her sworn enemy!  By the man who represents everything she fought against her entire life!   By the man who seduced her only child into Darkness and mass murder!"

 

Snoke is unfazed by this angry speech and by the threatening lightsaber in his face.  "You are welcome to accompany her.  As always, grandson, you are welcome to return home.”

 

Kylo watches as his uncle visibly seethes.  After the cold-blooded murder of his sister and the aborted blamed-filled duel with his nephew, Luke Skywalker can barely restrain his anger.  Try though he might to maintain his Jedi calm, Kylo can sense the buried fury rising.  That random shot of Force lightning from the Jedi is the tip of the iceberg, it seems.  For the arrival of the Sith Master has his Jedi counterpart in a rage.

 

“Yesss,” hisses old Snoke with satisfaction.  “I can feel the hate flowing through you.  The anger.  The Darkness.  Use your aggressive feelings, Jedi.  You were born a Chosen One from the line of the Sith.  Try as you might, grandson, you will never completely walk in the Light.  Nor should you.  Because to feel and to express emotion is not a failing.”

 

Chastised, the Jedi drops his threatening stance.   Luke Skywalker looks abruptly self-conscious.

 

Old Snoke presses his advantage.  “You taught my Apprentice to resist his feelings.  Taught him to fear the Darkness that resides within him.  Taught him to hate himself.  To hate his family.”  The Muun Sith crosses his arms and considers his prodigal grandson.  “Can you not reach beyond the archetypes you were raised on?  Can you seek the balance instead of retreating to the safety of the Light?  One and all, we are a mix of Light and Darkness and we should embrace that complexity.”

 

“You and your First Order are not balance,” the Jedi flatly rejects this speech.  He is resolute.  “I will not give in to hate.”

 

“Then you will never beat it.   For every time the Jedi have won and the Light triumphs, it is a defeat for balance.”  The old Muun takes a step closer to the Jedi’s blade.  As if daring him to swing his sword.  Tempting him to give in once again to his Darkness.  “Your success only tips the Force to favor the Sith in response.  It is an unending cycle.  A pointless struggle.”

 

“I am a Jedi, like my father before me,” maintains Luke Skywalker. 

 

Snoke looms tall over his wayward grandson.  The old Muun’s voice is low and slow with a true menace Kylo instantly recognizes.  His uncle has hit a nerve, it seems.  “Do not speak to me of your father.  Lord Vader was twice the man you are.   He saw through the lies of the Jedi.  Unlike yourself, who seek to perpetuate them.  Do not,” the Muun warns, “make his sacrifice meaningless.”

 

Darth Plagueis looks frustrated now to Kylo’s eyes, and that is a rare thing.  His Master gestures to himself.  “My Apprentice here was torn apart trying to quiet the conflict you saw born into him.  You thought it a weakness, but I made it a strength.  That should be our goal as Force users, to empower.” 

 

His uncle scoffs at this claim.  “You are Sith, of course you seek power!”

 

“Not all are empowered by Darkness,” Snoke counters.  “Our Princess Renata is empowered by the Light.  And so, she will remain in the Light.  I do not fear the Light.  But you, Jedi, clearly fear the Dark.   If you hear nothing else I tell you today, hear this:  Do not fear the Darkness.  It is as much a part of you as the Light.” 

 

Luke Skywalker is unmoved.  And unintimidated, Kylo realizes.   “This vision of grey you preach is a lie.  It is justification for your lust for power.”  His uncle looks contemptuously at him and then at Snoke.  “I reject your moral equivalencies just as I reject your violence.”

 

Kylo scowls openly at this.  Luke Skywalker has fought wars on and off for decades now.  In his own way, the righteous Jedi is as much as killer as a Sith.  Kylo would love to see how his body count compares to his uncle’s. 

 

Snoke’s eyes narrow.  “You lack compassion, Jedi.  For if you cannot see your enemies' plight and seek to understand their grievances, you will never reach accord.  If you reject all I stand for, we will ever be in conflict.” 

 

“That's your goal, isn't it, Sith?   Peace is a lie, right?  War is your means to gain power.” 

 

“How many times have I tried to make peace with you, grandson?”  The old Muun is fast losing patience.   “You were but a boy when I first came to you.  Stubborn now as you were then.  Dug into your sanctimony even as years later you see its limitations.”  Snoke gives his uncle a pained look.  “There is a way out.  Let go of your dogma and open your mind.  Embrace all of the Force.”

 

“I’ll never join you,” Luke Skywalker is quiet but firm. 

 

Snoke sighs.  “You are the last Jedi, grandson.  It is time for the Jedi to end.   Today.  Now.  It can end with a reconciliation or it can end in defeat.  The choice is yours.”  The Skywalker Sith patriarch stares down his wayward Jedi grandson.  “I grow tired of asking and so this will be the last time:  come home to your family, Luke Skywalker, and all will be forgiven.  You need not be Sith, but you cannot be Jedi.” 

 

Luke Skywalker doubles down on his convictions.  Again, his answer is quiet and emphatic.  “I'll never join you.  I am a Jedi, like my father before me.” 

 

Snoke shakes his head sadly.  “So be it, Jedi.”  Then he nods to Kylo.  “Kill him.  Kill him now.”

 

And this prompt, the battle is rejoined in earnest.  Kylo attacks hard and his uncle is ready for it.  The red and green swords are a blur and a buzz.  The sound of lightsabers connecting is distinctive, but the feel of them clashing is like nothing else.  The static energy of the plasma blade meets the kinetic energy of the swing meets the universal energy of the Force.  This is raw power fighting for dominance in a duel to the death.  These men are done trading barbs and there is nothing left to say.  They are silent, concentrating hard as old Plagueis looks on.

 

The breather has done his uncle good.  Now the advantage of tiring the old Jedi is lost, Kylo sees.  It’s time for a new strategy.  Kylo goes in for a disarming pass, hoping to rip the Jedi’s sword from his hand.  The maneuver fails.  The men lock swords for a tense moment before Kylo throws his uncle back with the Force.  But a split second later Luke Skywalker is driving Kylo back fast and hard.  It is a relentless press forward until Kylo breaks free and leaps back to safety.

 

Grimly determined, Kylo approaches and the men begin again.  As before, Skywalker fights with a mix of Force and sword.  The sword is the distraction he uses as he repeatedly throws objects, pushes and freezes at Kylo.  For the old Jedi has a masterful command of the Force, even if his saber is slower these days.  The younger Kylo has the faster sword, but his Force command is less instinctive and he has to work for it.  Plus, all that lightning has drained him a bit.

 

All in all, it’s still an even fight.  And with Plagueis looking on without intervening, it’s a contest to decide who will make the first mistake. 

 

It’s Skywalker.  Kylo nicks him on his left side with his saber tip.  It’s a superficial flesh wound, nothing more.  The Jedi barely seems to notice.  But it’s the first blood of the duel.   

 

Encouraged, Kylo goes in again for the disarming pass.  He fails again.  But a newly wary Skywalker responds with a fierce Force freeze that Kylo doesn’t completely repel.  He’s not frozen, but he is sluggish.  It’s the second mistake of the duel.

 

Partially Force stunned Kylo stumbles back as his uncle keeps swinging.  The Jedi catches him with a glancing blow across his face, searing a burn from his right jaw up across his cheek and nose to his temple.  For a moment, dazed Kylo fears he has lost an eye.  He hasn’t, but he’s about to lose his head.  That is, until old Plagueis saves him with a hard Force push back and safely away from Skywalker’s flashing green sword.  The push sends Kylo sprawling to the floor and knocks his sword from his hand.   He is slow to get up, for Skywalker’s Force paralysis is potent. 

 

“No!” shouts the Muun in rebuke to his grandson as he stalks closer to intervene.

 

But the Jedi is determined even as he hesitates.  “Ben is better dead than Sith.  For his sake.  For all our sakes,” Skywalker vows.  And again, Kylo sees his uncle’s saber flashing at him.   This could be the killing blow, he realizes.   Kylo concentrates hard to drag his sword back to his grip with the Force.  If he can just get his sword lit in his hand, he will have a fighting chance at a block.   So focused is he on retrieving his saber that he misses the Muun’s Force-assisted lunge in front of him as Skywalker’s saber slashes up to take Kylo’s head off. 

 

Instead, it nearly takes the head off the Muun.   Old Plagueis slumps heavily to the floor atop Kylo and the damage is clear for the Apprentice to see.  Snoke’s already gruesome jaw just got worse looking.  It would be a mortal wound to any man, but this no ordinary Sith.  

 

Luke Skywalker looks momentarily surprised and that’s the distraction Kylo needs to fully shake off his Force hold and leap to his feet.  Sword now firmly back in his hand, Kylo lunges with a stabbing stroke that catches the Jedi in the midsection.  It’s a painful wound, but not a lethal wound.  But the advantage is suddenly Kylo’s.  He now blasts his uncle with as much lightning as he can muster, throwing him to the ground because the injured Jedi is unable to repel it as usual.    

 

The wound on Kylo’s face stings and burns and reflexively he harnesses that pain into power.  He focuses his pain from his wound, his rage at his uncle, and his fear for his Master as he unleashes a torrent of deadly Force lightning on Luke Skywalker. 

 

This is revenge for two Death Stars and the demise of two Sith.  This is payback for toppling an Empire and plunging the galaxy into disorder and war.  This is retribution for the hero turned pacifist who hid in exile rather than face him.   This is punishment for the fool who declined to rule with Darth Vader and rejected Darth Plagueis over and over again.  This is retribution for attempting to lure Rey into killing him. 

 

Lightning streams from Kylo’s fingertips, the manifestation of a Sith’s deadly fury.  It streaks over and over his prey.  Burning deep as it encircles time and again.  Kylo watches with satisfaction as the old man writhes on the ground in agony.  Another stream of blue fire joins his and Kylo glances over to see his fallen Master’s hands now upraised and casting lightning too.  The nearly decapitated Muun is still hanging on to fight the good fight.  So great is the Muun’s power that he can survive despite being killed several times over even before Skywalker’s saber got him today. 

 

It is the assistance Kylo needs and it is the undoing of Luke Skywalker.  For even his Jedi hero uncle cannot withstand the full power of the Dark Side bearing down simultaneously from two Sith.  It takes only a few moments before the Jedi shudders and spasms.  Then he is gone.   A split second later, Kylo feels the great disturbance in the Force that marks the passing of the Light Side Skywalker prince.  A vortex of power disseminates from the last Jedi back into the cosmos.  With his mother and uncle dead today, now all that is left of the Light is on his command shuttle somewhere in hyperspace in the Outer Rim. 

 

The universe skews hard to Darkness now.

 

Kylo stares a moment before turning back to his Master.  What he sees frightens him and instantly he’s on his knees at the Muun’s side.  “Master!” he yelps as he senses in the Force the extreme physical distress of Darth Plagueis.  Is he bleeding out?  Is he choking?  Kylo can’t tell from the mess of his Master’s injured jaw and neck.  Snoke should not have helped him kill his uncle, Kylo realizes too late.  He should have reserved that Dark power for himself.  “Master!” Kylo cries again in horror at the gravity of the situation. 

 

Darth Plagueis doesn’t even try to speak actual words.  The familiar voice Kylo hears is in his head.

 

 _Darth Ren, you are the one I have been waiting for_.   _You are the worthy son to inherit it all._

 

There is an awful finality to that statement.  Kylo is horrified in this moment as full understanding dawns.  His eternal Muun Master is dying.  Actually dying.  Kylo never thought this day was possible. 

 

“Master, no!   Don't leave me!  I’m not ready—“

 

 _You are ready.  Already know you that which you need_. 

 

“No!  No!”  Kylo is bereft and angry and panicked at the same time.  For today a Jedi has killed a Sith and the Sith have killed a Jedi.  This is the curse of his clan.  The violence, the conflict, the tragedy.  It’s a cycle that never seems to end.  And no matter who dies, it is always one of their own.  They are four generations of men and women who are adversaries first and family second.  And three Skywalkers will die today because of it. 

 

_My son, look for the Force and you will always find me._

 

“No—“

 

_Find Rey.  Find her and find the balance.  Together, be the balance._

 

“No, I’m not ready—“

 

_The secret to immortality is in a holochron.  It is with Shan.  Ask Milo for it.  He knows where._

 

The familiar voice in his head grows more faint with each syllable. “D-Don’t leave me!”  Kylo feels a tear drip down his cheek.  He cannot believe this has come to pass.  “Please, don’t leave me.”  He is begging now.

 

But the old Muun is fading fast.  His Dark power suddenly is uncloaked and laid bare.  In his death throes, the Sith now has lost the ability to hide his imprint in the Force that was second nature to him after hundreds of years of practice.  Snoke’s skeletal hand grips at his arm as Kylo  cradles the deformed Muun’s face in his hands.  He is crying like a child as he stares down at the man who was more father to him than Han Solo ever was. 

 

 _P-Pass on what you have learned.   T-There is another Sky . . walk . . .er_. . .  

 

“M-Master—“ Kylo croaks out, staring into the soft unfocused eyes of the old Muun he loves but loathes, who he admires but hates, who he trusts but fears.  There is always a complicated relationship between Master and Apprentice and between father and son.   But of all the confusing relationships in his life--with his mother, with his real father, and even with his once beloved uncle--it is his bond with Snoke that has been the most enduring and complex.  For here is the only person who has ever been truly proud of him.  Here is the man who believed in him from the beginning, even when Kylo himself had doubts.   Snoke is his chief tormentor but a wise teacher too, though his lessons often come with pain.   Over time, Kylo has come to see that mix of hurt and love is what it means to be the Apprentice.   Spare the rod and spoil the child is a Sith maxim if ever there was one. 

 

The Jedi had it wrong, Kylo knows.  His parents had it wrong.  Snoke was never using him for his power.  It was the Jedi who had so terribly used his mother and his uncle.  Raising them to be a tool of their revenge and resurgence.  For all who gain power are afraid to lose it.  The Jedi and the Sith are similar in almost every way, Kylo knows, including their quest for greater power.  His proud grandfather had been the first to see through the lies of the Jedi.  Anakin Skywalker had refused to continue to be a pawn of the Jedi Council, and for that Darth Vader and every generation since has suffered terribly.   

 

The long spindly hand on Kylo’s arm relaxes to go limp.  The Muun sighs and closes his eyes.  His mentor's ugly scarred body, mortally wounded several times over in his many lifetimes, can take no more.  Even his great power has limits.  Kylo’s breath catches as he realizes this is the end. 

 

His Master is a ruthless monster to many, Kylo knows, but he had long been a strangely tolerant patriarch to his own clan.   The Muun was a Sith in all things, but his own family.  Today reveals that vividly.  Kylo knows that his Master would contend that there was no repeat of Lord Vader's folly, that today was not a sacrifice for sentiment.   That the sacrifice was for power.  It was done to kill the unrepentant enemy Jedi.  And it was done to safeguard what is left of his family, of his beloved Sith, and of his First Order.  But Kylo knows better.  Darth Plagueis the Wise loved the Force first, but he loved his family second.  And where the Skywalkers are concerned, the line between the Force and family continually blurs.

 

Yet again, a Sith father has intervened to save his son with momentous consequences.

 

In the moments after the great Sith's passing, there is a momentous disturbance in the Force.  If Kylo were not already on his knees, the resounding rip in the universe would have sent him reeling.  A great rush of power exits this broken Muun's soul and flows back to the energy field from which it began.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, Force to Force.  The gnarled husk of flesh and bone fades away into nothingness, leaving only his empty princely robes behind. 

 

Henceforth, there will be nothing left of the most powerful Sith to ever live except for what his Apprentice remembers and teaches his own student.  And that is the way of the Sith.  Since long ago, there have only ever been two . . .  usually.  In one unbroken line of Dark priests stretching back a millennium, Master and Apprentice, mentor and student, surrogate father and almost son, learn and then pass on what they know.  Committing it to memory and collecting it in holochrons and books.  It is wealth of secret knowledge and a proud, elite tradition that few are entrusted to learn. 

 

The circle is now complete.  When at a tender age he had met this Muun, Kylo had been but the learner.  But now, he is the Master.   And that is at once daunting and humbling.   Kylo Ren is a Sith taught to crave power.  He is the Apprentice supposed to plot to supplant.  But he feels no glory now.  All he feels is loss.  He never believed this day would come.  He always believed that the once and future Muun Sith with the power of a god would persevere. That he himself would live and die the grateful Apprentice.  And so, this is a status and a responsibility Kylo Ren had never expected and never wanted.  And yet, it is his. 

 

He is not ready, he knows. 

 

Kylo slowly staggers to his feet now.  He is panting and the sweat and blood that seep down his face mingle with his copious tears.  He looks up, finally becoming aware of his surroundings.  His men have made a wide perimeter about him with guns drawn.  And while they are vigilant, they also keep sneaking glances at the scene. 

 

He can’t blame them.  This is a war story for the ages.  This will be a day long remembered.  The Jedi are extinct and their fire has gone out of the universe.  Their zealotry will fade into history now.  Kylo Ren is the student of old Plagueis and he knows that the Light will endure.  But whatever form the Light takes in the future, never again will it be Jedi.  Darth Bane’s wish has at last been fulfilled, but victory has come at great cost.   Kylo stands there a moment, absorbing the meaning of it all. 

 

God is dead and we have killed him, Kylo thinks.  For the eternal Muun, the great Sith god Darth Plagueis, the iconoclast of the Dark Side, is gone.   But maybe that was always his wily Sith Master's plan.  He was just waiting for the right time to allow it to happen.   For this is the purpose for which Darth Plagueis had created his original Skywalker son--to bring the balance he foresaw but he himself was not fated to achieve.  That was to be the destiny of his progeny.  And now, after three generations have destroyed one another, only one remains.  He, Kylo Ren, is the young prince who inherits it all.  He is the one tasked with bringing balance to the Force.   And he knows that whatever this elusive balance may be, for himself and for the galaxy, it begins with Rey.  Those were his Master’s dying words.   

 

His family is gone now.   There will be no support and guidance from his Master and no opposition from his mother and his uncle.  Even his rival Hux is gone.  The most important people of his past are all dead.  Here.  Today.  Strewn at his feet.

 

Suddenly, Kylo feels very, very alone.

 

He walks from Snoke's crumpled empty robes to where his uncle's similarly vacant pile of clothes lay on the ground.  Kylo calls his uncle's lightsaber to him.  He turns it over in his hands.  Was the last Jedi a villain or a victim?  Kylo isn’t sure.   For often times, it is the victimized who in turn become the perpetrators later in life. 

 

There is no saber to retrieve from his Master.  The Muun had not brought a sword to this fight.  In the several times that Luke Skywalker had met Darth Plagueis through the years, never once had his Master threatened his grandson with a sword.  Every time, the old Sith had come with an offer of forgiveness and reconciliation.  Each time, it had been rejected.  And mutual destruction had been the end result. 

 

Why does it always end in violence for his family?  Why couldn't they all get along?   Kylo vows that the Skywalker slaughter ends today.  He will finish what his grandfather and his great-grandfather had started--he will realize the two elusive dreams of Darth Plagueis the Wise.  He, Kylo Ren, will rule the galaxy as an enlightened Sith and he will continue the Skywalker line and keep together his family.  Kylo owes that to the old Muun patriarch who had schemed for generations to unite the two competing sides of the Force and reconcile the two warring sides of his family. 

 

Rey, his only thought is Rey now.   Only she and Milo will fully understand the meaning of today.   The immense loss and the pivotal moment that has occurred.  He needs Rey.  Now, more than ever.  She will be his balance.   She will be his family. 

 

_Rey?  Rey, are you there?_

 

Kylo can barely concentrate, so upset is he.  Even this, his most natural skill in the Force, eludes him.  In vain, Kylo tries again.

 

_Rey?   Rey, I need you._

 

He will try again in a few hours to reach Rey. Maybe when he has had some time to adjust to his new reality.   Maybe after he has some time to rage and cry in private.   He is a Sith and emotion fuels his power, but in the aftermath of today he only feels weak and drained.

 

Nestor is at his side now, asking quietly if there is anything else he should take onboard.  Kylo nods over at the grisly remains of Armitage Hux.  "Put Hux onboard too.  All of him.   Rey would want us to take him home to his father.”

 

"Sure, boss,” Nestor replies quietly. 

 

"Wrap him in this."   Kylo nudges Snoke's ornate cloak with his boot.  Then he watches as Nestor and a trooper gather up General Hux in the robes of the Supreme Leader he so revered but had so disappointed.  When Hux too is onboard, Kylo takes a deep breath and one last long look at the scene.

 

"We have prisoners, Sir," an officer approaches to report.   "Not many.  Most of the base evacuated."

 

Kylo nods.  "Execute them.  And burn this place to the ground."   He will burn the Core Worlds of the galaxy to the ground now, if he has to.   Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy.  For with the Jedi gone, he thinks grimly, there will be no one to stop us this time.  And then, when he has won, Kylo Ren will make things the way he wants them to be.  For that’s what a Sith Master does:  he controls. 

 

Duty calls and he has no time for his sorrows.  Kylo has an invasion that launches in less than eight hours.  He now issues more instructions. "The death of Leader Snoke will not be announced until I determine.  Spread the word amid the men here today.  If anyone talks, they will answer to me.  Our enemies will not learn of our loss before the battle.  We will give them no advantage.  Inform Hux's assistant that he is now promoted to general.  He will lead the invasion."

 

"Yes, Sir."

 

"Yes, my lord," Darth Ren corrects him.   He is the Supreme Leader now.

 

Then he boards Snoke’s shuttle and heads to break the devastating news to old Milo in person.  Invasion or no invasion, it’s what Darth Plagueis would expect. 

 

 

END OF PART THREE

 

Part Four is to come.  Stay tuned. 

 


	39. Story Notes for Parts One through Three

There is still more to this story, but since I have written 100K+ words so far, I thought it was time to give a little context to what I have written in Parts 1 through 3.  I post explanatory notes for all of my stories in hopes it adds to the enjoyment and understanding for my readers.  Lately, I have begun writing my stories in large chunks and posting notes along the way, rather than waiting for the end. 

 

Unless you are new to my fics, you know that I write Reylo again and again in different contexts and with slightly different versions of the lovers.  The Rey character has varying degrees of independence and damage from Jakku.  Sometimes she’s a mom, sometimes not.  But she always ends up pregnant at some point since the Skywalker family is my favorite theme.  Kylo’s character can vary from an arrogant brute to a more thoughtful, cunning man.  Sometimes he treats Rey well, sometimes not.  I enjoy mixing up the characterizations slightly and dropping the lovers into different plots. 

 

This time around, I wanted to write a less damaged Rey.  She’s confident and self-reliant, but young and impressionable, too.   Still, she’s not an idealist in the usual SW mode.  This Rey has no rose-colored glasses or courageous idealism.  She’s a survivor who picks her battles.  Someone more like Luke’s Uncle Owen on Tatooine—she doesn’t want to get involved.  But this being SW, she gets dragged in anyway. 

 

As always, my Rey wants a family.  This time she finds one in the father-daughter relationship with Snoke (and a little bit of the grandfather-granddaughter relationship with Milo).   In some of my other fics, Snoke has an attraction to Rey.  I’ve written Rey-Snoke before and don’t really want to revisit it.  This time around, I very much wanted to do a different spin on the relationship, with Rey openly considered to be an adopted daughter to the Sith Master.  And Snoke is pro-Reylo here, like he is in _Fulcrum_.  

 

Jakku overshadows the whole tale because it is the core of Rey’s experience.  Be it ever so humble, there is no place like home, even if it’s an AT-AT.  And that’s why Rey goes back to Jakku.  Jakku represents deprivation and hardship.  But it also represents freedom and self-reliance and a reprieve from the galactic conflicts elsewhere.  It’s where the story begins and where the lovers meet.  And for a time, it’s where their relationship flourishes away from the pressures of war and the overbearing influences of Snoke, Luke and Leia.  Rey keeps trying to go back Jakku, with its straightforward survival conflicts and her simpler life before the Force and before the Skywalker drama.  She gets there finally at the end of Part 3, but it has been a long and strange personal journey along the way. 

 

Home is a persistent theme in this story, and not just for Rey.  Kylo is a man who left home and his family behind.  There are references (like Luke’s message in the holochron) to times when Kylo has been asked to come home to the Light.  This stands in opposition to Snoke’s attempts to bring his Skywalker grandchildren home to the Dark Side.   At the end of Part 3, Snoke asks yet again for his grandson Luke to come home.  It’s not the first time.  Snoke has a history with Luke Skywalker in my short fic _A New Hope_ which is a prequel to _Ghosts of the Past_.  Snoke’s plan to corrupt Luke Skywalker fails because Vader and Snoke are not on the same page.  Snoke's efforts to humanize Vader utterly backfire and become the incentive for Luke's strategy to redeem his father.  In the end, Snoke is bitterly disappointed in defeat, something which steels his resolve that the next Skywalker son (Kylo!) will never fall to the Light.  Even before Kylo is born, Snoke is shown plotting to build him an Empire and groom him for the Sith.

 

As always, I write the Sith as a family.  Snoke is the Skywalker patriarch trying to reunite the clan as he conquers the galaxy.  This time around, Snoke calls Rey daughter.  But, as usual, he treats Kylo as his son.  At his core, Plagueis is as much about attachments as he is about power.   Old Snoke is nuts for his Skywalker family dynasty, which represents the ultimate Sith intersection of attachment (family) and power (the Force).  The Jedi, with their aversion to attachment and their self-imposed limitations on their power, reject all this.  And that’s why both the young Luke ( _A New Hope_ ) and the old Luke ( _Ghosts of the Past_ ) refuse Plagueis.  This version of Luke Skywalker is a Jedi through and through his entire life. 

 

I love to write my Snoke.  His backstory keeps getting more layered and complex, but he's basically the same guy.   One of my favorite aspects of Snoke is that he loses a lot.  Whether it's the Starkiller or his past defeat to Sidious, things go wrong for Snoke regularly.  He might be the most powerful Sith ever, but he is far from infallible.  Snoke makes mistakes (usually when he tries to control too much) and those mistakes come back to haunt him. His biggest mistake is attempting to separate his old apprentice Sidious from his lady in _Red_.  That results in huge consequences:  Snoke is horribly wounded, his Jedi wife and their son are slain, and Snoke loses his son-in-the-Force Anakin to Sidious as Apprentice.   Snoke never gets to be the mentor and father to Anakin that he wants to be (read that tension and regret in _A New Hope_ ) and that puts into motion the events that culminate in his grandchildren being “stolen” by the Jedi and “falling to the Light” away from the path of the Sith.   It’s the same warped perspective on the Skywalker family history that permeates all my Sith stories.  Kylo—and sometimes Rey—firmly believe it, too.   In this story, Snoke makes the mistake of baiting Hux too far and that results in Hux's escape attempt and the separation of Kylo and Rey.  It also leads to the showdown with Skywalker that results in Leia Organa’s death and Snoke's death. 

 

In the end, Snoke pulls a Vader-style self-sacrifice for Kylo Ren.  That doesn't come out of the blue--there is lots of talk of family and the father-son relationship in this story.  But the real backstory for the sacrifice is again the end of my fic _A New Hope_.  Sorry to keep referencing that one but that tale was the whole jumping off point for _Ghosts of the Past_.  I think Snoke might explain that he made his sacrifice to preserve the future of the Sith and of his family.  So, in essence, the sacrifice was made for power.  But if you have read my _Fulcrum_ stories, you know that the Sith don't always live up to their own ideals.  No matter what they say, the Sith do sacrifice power for love and power for family over and over again in my stories.  There’s a bit of “do as I say, not as I do” where Snoke is concerned.

 

Everyone loves to hate Snoke and wants Kylo to kill Snoke.  But in my twisted dark world of the Sith, Kylo doesn’t want to kill his Master.  And that’s the turn of events at the end of Part 3.  Kylo wants to kill his uncle, and he does.  But he loses his Master as well.  It is a victory overshadowed by a loss.  And it will have repercussions.  For Kylo to date has not been a man fascinated by balance quite the way old Plagueis has been. 

 

My Skywalker family is complex because in real life family is so complex.  Old hurts die hard and even childhood grievances stay with you.  Now that I am married with young kids of my own, I understand the struggle of family better.  I am close to my three siblings but very arm’s length from my parents.   They did their best and made lots of sacrifices for us.  Grateful as I am, I still can’t get along with them.   And I didn't go cray-cray at a Jedi academy and turn all Dark Side.  So I imagine the gulf between the Skywalker clan will be especially difficult to heal.  If the sequel trilogy is a redemption story, it had better be well written to be believable.

 

Of course, the overarching theme of _Ghosts of the Past_ is the past.  What the past means for the present and for the future.  How we can learn from the past but yet repeat its mistakes.  Ultimately, how powerful the past can be in our lives, even when it’s someone else’s past.  Everywhere in this story there are examples of the past, from Rey scavenging in thirty-year-old wrecks to her showing up at the _Finalizer_ in the Millennium Falcon.  From Kylo visiting Jakku looking for answers to his hero worship for his grandfather.  Old Milo tells pre-prequel era stories to Rey over breakfast and brings her Snoke’s dead wife’s cloak to wear.  The Resistance is trying to recreate the Republic and the First Order is trying to revive the Empire.  The past permeates the conflicts and character motivations and experiences throughout this fic. 

 

The wartime setting of this fic is intended to be the deus ex machina of this story.  Sometimes, the Force is what makes things happen in my stories and sometimes it’s Snoke who swoops in to make the plot move along.   In this fic, as with my original _Fulcrum_ story, war is the intervening and unavoidable factor that shapes my characters’ lives.  I think this is a believable scenario, for war creates enormous change.  War has shaped my own family’s experiences.  War separated my maternal grandparents for years.  My mother and my grandfather lived in the USA while my two aunts and my grandmother lived abroad.  That years long separation left indelible marks on my grandparents’ marriage and on my mother’s relationship to my grandmother.   My grandmother died three years ago at Christmas.  I remember a great deal about her, mostly her devout Catholicism, her tough as nails resolve, and her absolute disdain for war.  Decades later, she would retell stories of living through bombing raids and finding the neighbors dead. 

 

A different set of conflicts in a different part of the world brought my father-in-law to the USA.  My father-in-law is from a prominent, privileged family about which entire books are written.  But here in the USA, my father-in-law ended up working menial service jobs despite his pedigree and his perfect Oxford English.   Culturally, he never found his way in the workplace.  When we were first dating, my husband and I used to check on his dad working late downtown at his fast food job.  There was Mr. Blue in his hand tailored suit dropping by to make sure his dad was okay.  My father-in-law never achieved any measure of success in the USA, but his only son exceeded all expectations.  None of that would ever have occurred but for a war.

 

The wartime context and multiple characters are designed to complicate and muddy the waters and motivations in this fic.  The situations are never one person's fault.  My characters make choices, but they are in the context of other characters making choices and the ever-present war backdrop.  And so, Rey’s decision at the end of Part 1 to leave Jakku with Luke Skywalker occurs while Kylo is off trying to kill his uncle and while the First Order fires the Starkiller.  All of that combines to result in Rey getting stuck at the Resistance for an extended period and stokes her underlying conflicts with Kylo.  It’s multiple actors following their own motivations with unintended results for everyone.  I hope it makes for a richer, more complex story. 

 

This story gave me a chance to write a love triangle.  All those opportunities for a jealous Kylo!  All those stolen kisses!  To make it work, Army Hux becomes the sympathetic tortured nice guy even though he's also the genocidal commander of the Starkiller.  Kylo becomes the arrogant asshole ex who keeps  showing up looking attractive and making passes at Rey.  It takes a while for Rey and Kylo to get past their mutual betrayals at the end of Part 2.   And during that time, Army sneaks into Rey's heart.  It’s a romantic relationship, if mostly somewhat one-sided.  Poor Hux is the misguided tragic hero of this tale.  He is an invalid for most of the story, so there is little physical interaction between him and Rey.  But there is a deep regard for one another.  And, in some ways, Hux is much better husband/boyfriend material than Kylo.  Hux is ready and willing to treat Rey as his princess on a pedestal, something Kylo won’t do.  I wanted Army to be a serious contender for Rey's heart.  Ultimately, she goes back to Kylo in the end.  But that's not a foregone conclusion for her or hopefully for the reader. 

 

I myself have never been in a love triangle but I have known someone who has.  It was in the context of an ex and then she met someone new. That's how I arranged the love triangle in this fic.  I just have a hard time understanding how a girl could fall for two guys at the same time under similar circumstances.  Plus, I thought it was interesting that the Rey who Kylo meets is not the Rey who Hux meets. 

 

I wanted there to be complex conflicts between Kylo and Hux.  It is a personal and professional rivalry on multiple levels.  Their commonality is their First Order politics, but not much else.  Still, both men are driven and powerful in their own right.   I wanted it to be believable that Rey might be attracted to both men and a bit torn.  And for that to happen, they need to have some broad-brush similarities.  Most of us have a “type” we go for, both in looks and in personality.  Rey has a type too—First Order alpha males.

 

I always get comments from readers bemoaning my girly makeovers for Rey.  The undercurrent of those complaints is usually the idea that Rey is somehow weakened since she wears a dress and lipstick.  I personally have a hard time relating to this concept.  I think that’s because I grew up in the American South where the “Steel Magnolia” is a real thing.   The Deep South is full of ballsy women who wear flowered dresses to church on Sunday and shoes that match both their purses and their lipstick.  Because looking feminine is still very much ingrained in the culture and it is not antithetical to female empowerment.  And, frankly, look at any powerful woman in public life in politics, business, media, law, even the sciences, and you will find very presentable women who largely adhere to traditional ideas about feminine dress and adornment.   They meet men’s expectations, so to speak, by looking conventionally feminine.

 

I also personally reject the notion that female empowerment means that women should act like men, look like men and talk like men.   I think you can be feminine and be powerful.  Too often, I feel as though the concept of being a strong woman means being a woman doing traditionally male things (fighting, arguing, ruling etc).  It’s almost like the default gender we are all angling for is male and recognition of ourselves as women somehow makes us weaker instead of different.  I reject that.  Gender politics is a thorny topic and I’m not looking for a debate.  But I wish our culture could celebrate traditionally “female” archetypes—mothers, grandmothers, teachers, caregivers—and give them their due.   You are not weaker for being these things.  You are strong and important in a different way. 

 

Part 3 shows Rey in soft captivity with the First Order.  She is transforming little by little into the princess Snoke wants.  It continues the personal growth Rey began in Part 2 when she lands at the Resistance and starts hanging out with the Resistance girls polishing her social skills, evolving in her appearance, and gaining confidence in world outside Jakku.   Rey's girly makeover starts as her own idea in this fic before it becomes Snoke's mandate.  But when we see Rey return to Jakku in the end of Part 3, she reclaims her scavenger garb only now her arm wraps used to be her dress. 

 

It was important to me that this time around Kylo has a negative reaction to Snoke’s makeover for Rey.  It’s not necessarily an improvement in his eyes.  Yes, she is more conventionally attractive, but so much of what drew Kylo to Rey initially was how different she seems.  And, of course, the Force.

 

For the record, the impact of appearance in my story is not limited to just Rey.  This isn’t a “girls need to look pretty” thing.  Kylo going in and out of his uniform and mask matters in this fic.   Rey thinks he’s a normal guy when they first meet.  It’s the sword that gives him away and then Rey makes him play dress up to see the full Kylo Ren.   Appearance matters for poor Hux too.  In this story, Rey gives him a bit of a makeover before he attends Snoke’s dinner. 

 

It wouldn’t be one of my stories if it wasn’t inspired at least in some way by an opera.  Chapter 26—Rey coming on to Kylo in order to help Hux--is inspired by Act II of Puccini’s _Tosca_.  In that opera set during the Napoleonic wars, the heroine’s boyfriend is arrested as a political prisoner.  The heroine presents herself to the Chief of Police Baron Scarpia to beg for mercy while the poor boyfriend is violently tortured and screaming offstage.  It’s a very dramatic and tense scene as Scarpia demands sex in exchange for the boyfriend’s pardon.  The heroine agrees (that’s how much she loves the boyfriend) but ultimately she can’t go through with it.  In the opera, she sings a gut-wrenching aria and then stabs Scarpia with a dinner knife.  This being an Italian opera, in Act III everyone ends up dead. 

 

The Snoke-Rey father/daughter relationship is inspired by the Rigoletto and Gilda relationship in Verdi’s _Rigoletto_.  Gilda, Rigoletto’s daughter, is kept hidden away to keep her from the toxic goings on at the Duke of Mantua’s court.  And so, of course, poor Gilda gets discovered and drawn into it all.  In the opera, tragedy is the result.  But not in my story.  This time around, Snoke is the one to die.

 

In pretty much every one of my stories, someone makes the speech about how the Sith don’t live by conventional morality.  But the SW universe is rooted in conventional morality tropes and so it’s a bit of a hard pill to swallow.  It’s also a large part of why I portray Snoke the way I do.  I have no idea what we will learn about the Supreme Leader in Episode 8, but I am intrigued by the rumors suggesting he is an ancient throwback Sith who doesn’t look like we expect.  That’s a breath of fresh air, as far as I am concerned.   I’m not interested in Emperor Palpatine 2.0    I’m all for Snoke being his own guy--bring on the rumored flashy Dark Side dude with tigers on a gold leash, silly shoes and man jewelry!  I’ll recover if Snoke turns out not to be old Darth Plagueis in the movies.  And he doesn’t even have to be a regular Sith.  I just want Snoke to be someone from the past.  If he’s just some random Dark Side dude, that’s a missed opportunity to enrich the story IMO.

 

I’m a sucker for the portrayal of evil as attractive.  Because if you are going to fall from grace, there ought to be some reason for it.  We don’t speak of being tempted by the Devil for nothing.  I was in church on Easter Sunday and in my faith that is the day that all members renew their baptismal promises as a group.  The priest asks us literally to “reject the glamour of Evil.”  And that’s sort of how I envision Evil—it has a seductive allure.  Money, fame, power, youth, beauty, sex, etc. can all be yours if you sign up.  Evil is also sophisticated and wily.  It figures out what you want and tempts you with it.  And so, my version of Snoke is a man who lives in luxury and denies himself nothing.  But he’s also very sophisticated with an intellectual underpinning to his worldview.  And, of course, my Snoke (the galactic financier mogul-prince of _Fifth Wife_ ) was once a very attractive man full of charm.  A ladykiller for certain.  It’s important that Snoke is not completely evil.  Snoke has a few redeeming qualities, like Kylo and Hux. 

 

I can’t wait to see how Episode 8 explains Kylo Ren, Luke and Snoke better.  I’m very intrigued by the idea that the bad guys are crazy zealots.  For me, there is something inherently better about a bad guy who thinks he’s doing the right thing versus a bad guy who is intentionally doing bad.  Bad and good are sort of irrelevant concepts in the Sith worldview.  And that helps to explain why the Sith can be both cruel and kind.  Plus, it makes them endlessly complex, somewhat unpredictable characters. 

 

Part 2 ends with Rey choosing Team Sith in contrast to Part 3 ending with Luke Skywalker martyred for Team Jedi.  Each time, Darth Plagueis is offering up a version of Darth Vader’s “Join me . . . “ with the threat of death for refusal.   Because—as you know—if you’re not with the Sith, you’re against them.   Survivor Rey agrees and lives but the hero Luke resists and dies.

 

I’m not really sure yet what I think “balance” means for the Force.  Kylo’s version in _His Padawan_ ended up being something like Sith-lite.   A sort of “Force without rules.”  Politically, Emperor Ren ends up an enlightened despot, still very much First Order.  I’m still thinking through these ideas but I think Snoke would prefer to separate politics from the Force.  He would say that the Force is the Force and you can connect with it in different ways (through calm and peace or through emotion, depending on how is easiest and most natural for you at the time).  And I think Snoke would say that you can use Dark Side means to achieve good and noble goals, just as the Light Side approach in the past has sometimes had bad consequences.   I think Snoke would say that not all conflicts have a “good versus evil” character to them.  Kylo Ren will figure this out when he gets to Part 4 and the war doesn’t magically end now that the Skywalker twins are dead.  Stated differently, there are conflicts about the Force and conflicts about politics.  There is some overlap in who takes what position, but the conflicts are distinct and different.  And so, resolving conflicts about theories of the Force does not resolve all the problems of the galaxy. 

 

I really have no idea what is up with Luke Skywalker in Episode 8, and I can’t wait to find out.  His struggle will explain Kylo's fall, I suspect, and Rey's future.  I watched the first trailer and thought to myself  'This movie could be awesome.'   Fingers crossed!

 

I’m going to go quiet for a bit and think up Part 4.  I have a few vague ideas, but nothing has gelled yet.  That just means I need to keep thinking.  All the difficult characters are dead now, so what will stand in the way of Reylo happiness?  I’m sure it will be plenty.  Stay tuned!


	40. chapter 40--Prologue to Part 4

PROLOGUE TO PART FOUR

 

First Order flagship, _The Finalizer_  

 

The masked Sith stands tall on the bridge of his great ship, arms clasped behind his back as silently he contemplates the city world it orbits.  This is Coruscant, the bright center of the universe and the aim of all Sith, and today it will be his.  That was never the plan, but plans change.  This man has been at war long enough to know that the risk you don’t prepare for is the inevitably the risk that occurs.   But still . . . he had never expected this. 

 

He can’t believe he’s gone.

 

None of us is indispensable, for the cause is always larger than any one person.  And wars are fought over a collection of causes.   Even so, leaders matter.  They keep the infighting at bay and they enforce the chain of command.   They are unifiers and deciders.  And they are necessary.  For a cause without a leader is a lost cause.  It may have taken two long years to defeat the Empire after Endor, but defeat was always a foregone conclusion.  

 

And that is what scares him.   For he can’t believe he’s gone.

 

He is the Supreme Leader now, entrusted with his Master's awesome legacy and burdened by his lofty goals.  It is a battlefield promotion to head Sith that he neither sought nor can turn down.  For this is his birthright, his calling, and his responsibility all rolled into one.  It is the challenge of a lifetime and his Master thought him up to it.  But still, heavy is the head that wears the crown.  Especially so when it is bowed in grief.

 

He can’t believe he’s gone.  And now he worries that he can’t do it.  That he can’t go on alone. 

 

He is grateful today for the mask that hides his eyes red rimmed from tears and his face wounded by the Jedi.  No one sees his weakness, his self-doubt, or his hesitation.  They only see the faceless, fearsome warrior they expect and that is the point.  Today is business as usual.  Another day, another invasion, another victory.   And no one is the wiser.    He will bide his time as others execute his plans and then he will light his sword and appear victorious for all the cameras to see. 

 

He wishes his Master had lived to see this.  He still can’t believe he’s gone.

 

Crait will not be his Endor, he vows.  Coruscant will not be his Jakku.   Death is the way of things, after all.  Especially for the Sith.  But only when this world is won will he publicly reveal the bitter truth.  The Supreme Leader is dead.  Long live the Supreme Leader.  May the Force be with you, old Darth Plagueis.  All hail the new Darth Ren. 


	41. Chapter 41

At Niima Outpost, no one asks Rey where she has been.   No one appears all that happy or even surprised that she is alive.  This is Jakku, after all.  No one cares. 

 

She’s here to trade some salvage she pulled from a wreck early this morning.  Rey has decided not to dismantle Kylo’s shuttle for scrap.  She might need the ship in good working order.  Well, if she’s honest with herself, Rey will admit that she’s probably going to need it in good working order.  Because if she truly is pregnant, she can’t stay on Jakku for long. 

 

And that’s another reason she is at Niima Outpost this morning.  Rey is a little disappointed and a little relieved to find that the traveling medic who regularly sets up a tent at Niima is nowhere to be found.   The medic could have scanned her and quickly provided the answer.  But he comes around about once a week and he’s not here today.  So instead, Rey spends her portions on a new pair of boots.  They are a little large, but they will be fine with two pairs of socks.  Tomorrow, she’ll be back with more scrap to trade for socks.  Or maybe, for a medical scan. 

 

It’s a long walk back to her AT-AT.  Now that her speeder is gone, Rey walks everywhere.  But she’s grown soft from inactivity at the Resistance and then at Snoke’s bunker.    The walk that used to take her forty-five minutes now takes well over an hour.  By the time she makes it back to her home, most of the morning is gone and Rey is tired and very thirsty.   Rey is guzzling down water she found on Kylo’s shuttle when the sound of ion engines overhead pricks her ears.   Tucking a blaster she also lifted from the shuttle into her waist behind her back, Rey darts out into the afternoon sun to take a look.

 

It’s a First Order shuttle and it’s landing right here.  Right now. 

 

A man marches down the shuttle ramp.  For a moment, all Rey sees is the black boots that brush aside the black surcoat uniform of a Knight of Ren.   Her heart skips a beat.  But seconds later she realizes that the gait is all wrong.  Kylo stomps down his shuttle ramp.  This man walks like a normal person.  And, sure enough, as more of the man comes into view, it’s not Kylo.  It’s Nestor Ren and behind him is that young knight who had walked in on her kissing Kylo in the conference room.  What was his name?  Rey can’t remember and she doesn’t care.  All that matters is that these men are not Kylo.  And that has her suddenly very worried. 

 

Where is Kylo?  Has something happened to Kylo?

 

“Princess,” Nestor greets her formally and the new guy nods respectfully.  Neither man comments that she’s standing there looking anything like her normal fancy princess self.  She’s grateful for that, actually.

 

“W-Where’s Kylo?”  Back in her scavenger mode, Rey dispenses with the pleasantries.  She gets right to the point.  “Where is he?  Is he hurt?”

 

“Coruscant,” Nestor Ren does the talking.  “He’s fine.  It was just a scratch.”

 

“What scratch?” She's suspicious.  

 

“The Jedi got him across the face with the sword.  Nothing major.  Bacta will heal it.  The boss will be as goofy looking as ever.”

 

Rey doesn’t smile at his attempt at levity.  “B-Bacta?”   It was more than a scratch if Kylo needs bacta.  

 

“He’s fine, Rey.”  Nestor nods to reassure her but it doesn't help.   She still feels like he is hiding something.  “It’s not like the arm.  This will be healed in a day or two.  No permanent damage.”

 

“Yeah . . . okay . . .” Rey backs down but she is still worried.  Was Kylo defeated by Master Luke?

 

“Princess, Kylo would have come to collect you himself but he's got an invasion to supervise."  Nestor beckons her forward.  He’s impatient to leave.  "It's hot.  Come onboard and we'll get going.  A lot has happened.  I’ll fill you in on the way.  Sayeed here will fly Kylo’s shuttle back to Coruscant.”

 

“No.”  Rey is not leaving until she gets a few more answers.  She has a bad feeling about this and she’s not sure yet why.

 

Nestor misunderstands.  “We can’t leave it here.  There’s way too much sensitive information on that shuttle for someone to hack into.  That would be a huge security breach.  And besides, the boss will want it back.  He likes that ship.”

 

“Nestor, please tell me what’s going on,” Rey prods him, more suspicious than ever. 

 

“Geez, this place is as hot as Mustafar.  You'll feel right at home at Vader's castle."  Nestor Ren wipes at his sweaty brow and now Rey is wondering if some of his perspiration is from nervousness and not from the heat.   He waves Rey forward again towards the ramp.  “Well come on, Princess, let’s get you out of here and I’ll fill you in.”

 

Rey stands her ground and looks the knight in the eye.  She’s concerned by his delay.  "Nestor, I want to know now.  What happened with Kylo and Master Luke?"   When she had left the Resistance base, the First Order had been on the way, no doubt with Kylo in command.   And so the long awaited confrontation between Kylo and his uncle might finally have occurred.

 

As if sensing her resolve, Nestor nods and tells her plainly, "The Jedi is dead.  Kylo killed him on Crait."

 

Rey takes a deep breath and digests this.   So Kylo had finally killed his uncle.  She is relieved for Kylo and sad for Master Luke.   And for his sister too.  Rey looks away.  "I guess he's Darth Ren now . . . "  And that means she's about to be Lady Ren or Missus Ren or Madame Ren or whatever Snoke thinks a Sith's wife should be called.  

 

"He's head Sith now," Sayeed volunteers proudly about his boss.

  

"What?"  Rey turns to him and sees Nestor glare and do the same.   And now Rey is certain that Nestor is hiding something.  And that it’s important.

 

"What??" Sayeed is defensive.  "He didn't say we couldn't tell her.  And she's his daughter, right?  She should know."

 

"What can't you tell me?" Rey automatically demands of Nestor. 

 

The burly Second Knight of Ren looks uncomfortable as he discloses, "Princess, it's not public yet but the Supreme Leader is dead.  The Jedi killed him and then Kylo killed the Jedi."

 

"S-Snoke is d-dead??" Rey's breath catches at this news. "Darth Plagueis is dead?"   Actually dead?  She didn’t think the old Muun could die.  He’s hundreds of years old and hideously mangled, so if he could die shouldn’t that have happened by now?  Plus, Snoke knows how to bring people back to life.  Couldn’t he just bring himself back to life? 

 

She must look stunned and upset because Nestor Ren makes a face and stammers, “I’m sorry, Rey.  This is not how I planned to tell you.”  The knight glares over at his younger colleague.

 

All Rey can think now is poor Kylo.  Snoke had been like a father to him.   Plus a teacher, a mentor, and a boss.  Kylo must be devastated.  No one thought Darth Plagueis could die, least of all Kylo Ren.  And Milo . . . oh, poor Milo . . .   Rey can’t begin to contemplate how truly lost Snoke’s longtime servant and confidante must be. 

 

"I'm really sorry, Rey," Nestor repeats.

 

Rey bites her lip.  "Poor Kylo," she whispers as she herself blinks back a rush of tears.  She’s not really sure why she’s crying.  But it feels like it’s for all of them:  for Luke Skywalker, for Snoke, and for Kylo.  Because family is supposed to love one another, not kill one another.   Unless, of course, you are a Skywalker and then these things become your life goals. 

 

“Sorry for the loss of your . . . uh . . . dad,” red-faced Sayeed Ren manages weakly.  “That news came out wrong, Princess.”

 

“Yeah . . . okay,“ she stammers, still processing its implications.  Rey can't remember her real father.  But she remembers Snoke as the only man ever to call her daughter.  He made her a princess and treated her like one too.  Night after night, she had poured his wine with the Force and listened to his musings about anything and everything.  He had been a monster, but a very charming and strangely compelling one.    Rey looks to Nestor.  “How is Kylo taking it?”

 

Nestor sighs and his face says it all.  "Hard.  But he's hiding it.  He’s focusing on the invasion and that’s probably a good thing for now."

 

"What was Snoke even doing there?" she wonders aloud.  Kylo was supposed to be the one to fight his uncle.   Facing Luke Skywalker was how Kylo would complete his training.  Victory over the Jedi was how he would prove himself worthy of his Sith title.  It was to be Kylo’s task alone to complete or die trying.

 

"The old Leader showed up unannounced.  He came for the general's body, I guess," Sayeed offers lamely. 

 

And now Rey’s eyes grow wide.  "For Army?" she whispers fearfully. “For Army’s body?”  Suddenly, Rey can’t breathe.   She thinks she knows what is coming next. 

 

But she’s wrong.  "No.  For the other general.  The enemy general," the youngest knight corrects her.  

 

And that’s a relief but a concern too.  "For Leia Organa?" Rey raises a hand to her mouth.  Has Kylo lost his mother too? 

 

"Yes.  General Organa is dead.  Hux is dead too.  That fucking traitor," Sayeed lashes out.  “I wish I had killed him myself.”

 

"A-Army too?  Army is dead?"  So, her first instinct had been correct.  Army is dead.  Rey feels like someone has punched her in the gut.  She can’t breathe and she is choking for air.  Rey closes her eyes a moment.  Because this is what she has feared for so long.  During his many torture filled months of suffering and then again when Army had tried to run away with her to the Resistance.    Armitage Hux had been living on borrowed time since the Starkiller.   No one knew it better than himself.  But still, Rey had been lulled into thinking he would pull through it all unscathed one way or the other.  "Oh, Army . . . "  And now the news is too much.  Master Luke, his sister, Snoke, and even Army all gone?  

 

Nestor shoots the new kid another dirty look, as he hastens to add, "The Jedi killed Hux, Rey.  Not Kylo."

 

"No, but he would have," Rey cries bitterly.   Nestor does not dispute her.  He knows, as does she, that Army was a dead man for stealing her once Kylo caught up with him.   Only Luke Skywalker apparently got there first.  "Poor Army . . ."  Her bottom lip is trembling as she says this.  Silent tears begin to roll down her cheeks and Nestor Ren must know what's coming next.  

 

"It was instant.   Hux didn't suffer, Princess," Nestor says gently.   The big man looks miserable as he explains, “It was far more merciful than anything Snoke did to him.”

 

Rey nods as she turns away.  Then she gives way to full-fledged sobs. 

 

Oh, Army . . . handsome Army who had tried to tell her that he loved her before Rey had cut him off.  She regrets that now.  It was unfair to him.  Plus, there might never be another man who will love her.  Rey might never hear those words.  Yes, in the end, Army was reckless and hurt, trying to trade her to his enemies.  But except for that awful day, General Armitage Hux had been her gallant champion.  High maintenance and peevish, yes.  But brilliant and engaging all the same.  He had been the opposite of Kylo in so many ways, even if the two men had distinct similarities.  Army Hux was the perfect foil for his foes and the perfect gentleman with her.  He's gone now.   And that hurts.  It really hurts.  

 

Rey cries harder. 

 

“Princess, I’m sorry,” Nestor Ren says again helplessly.  Like all men, he’s befuddled by crying women.  He shifts his weight and exchanges pained glances with his colleague.

 

Rey nods and regains a semblance of her composure.  But she doesn’t turn back around as she asks, "Army, Master Luke and his sister, and S-Snoke.  A-All of t-them?  G-Gone??"  

 

“Yes,” the Second Knight confirms sadly.

 

The news is overwhelming for Rey.  Life on Jakku can be brutal and short.  If the inhabitants don’t get you, the desert will.  Plus, Rey grew up stepping over bodies in wrecks.  And so Rey has seen a lot of death in her time.  But never has she lost anyone close to her.  Chiefly because she has never been close to anyone before.  Loneliness is painful but it saves you from the pain of losing someone.  And now that almost everyone Rey has ever been somewhat close to is dead, she is undone.  

 

The family she can’t remember turned out to be dead.  Lor San Tekka who guessed her past and watched over her from afar is dead.  Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa who found her and welcomed her are dead.   Snoke who threatened her and taught her is dead.  Army who loved her is dead. 

 

It is cruelly disheartening.   Rey is emotionally wrecked.

 

One and all, they died for the Force or they died for Kylo’s war.  Rey had at long last escaped deadly Jakku only to find more death.  Does it matter if death is quick and clean from a lightsaber or a blaster or slow and hard from dehydration or starvation?   In the end, you’re still dead.  And though old Darth Plagueis had told her to rejoice for those who become one with the Force, Rey isn’t so confident.  She has survived all these years not because she loves living but mostly because she fears death. 

 

Nestor lays an awkward hand on her shoulder.  "I am sorry to have to report such bad news, Princess.  Truly, I am."  His voice is quiet and calm.  "Come onboard with us.  Milo will be at Mustafar when we get there.  The old guy could use a friend now too."

 

“N-No.”  Rey reflexively shrugs him off and turns around, furiously wiping at her tears.  "No.  I'm not going anywhere." 

 

No, she doesn't want to be anywhere near Kylo right now.  Rey can't take the thought of Kylo's raving and blaming Army when eventually the Sith shows up at his grandfather’s castle or wherever Nestor is taking her.  Kylo might be objectively right to fault Hux, but Rey is far more sad over the loss of her best friend than she is angry at his irrational actions before and after she broke his heart.  The whole situation is so frustrating and needless and that makes Army's death all the more pointless.  And Rey can't help but feel guilty for her role in all of it.

 

And perhaps Kylo will be gloating over the loss of his uncle and his mother too.  And then, oh Gods, maybe he will start with that whole marriage talk again now that he has killed the Jedi and that will be another confrontation.  She's not ready to be Missus Kylo.  Especially not now.  But if Kylo learns she might be pregnant, Rey may have no choice.

 

It all sounds exhausting and demoralized Rey isn’t keen on any of it.  Her mind is made up.   She will stay home.  At least for now.

 

"Princess, Kylo's orders were clear:  we are to bring you to Vader's castle.  You will be safe and comfortable there.  This place is far too dangerous for you."

 

Rey is having none of it.  She stands her ground.  "This is my home.  I have lived here for years.  I am quite capable of surviving here on my own."

 

Sayeed Ren looks exasperated.  Even sympathetic Nestor Ren levels her a look.  "Maybe so, but that was before you were Kylo Ren's girlfriend and the old Leader's daughter.   You are a target now for anyone who wants leverage over the First Order."

 

"I can handle myself," Rey boasts between sniffs.

 

"Like you handled Hux dragging you off to the Resistance?" Sayeed points out.

 

Rey refuses to acknowledge his point.  "No one will recognize me here.  On Jakku, I’m a scavenger, not a princess.”

 

"There are people who know who you are," Nestor argues.  “Both at the Resistance and at the First Order.”  He’s right, Rey has to admit.  Someone might remember that she was captured with the droid on Jakku and connect her to Kylo and to Snoke’s fancy Sith princess.  Plus, Rey did just admit in front of a lot of Resistance fighters that she was Kylo's lover and she was heading to Jakku. 

 

"Look, lady,” Nestor cajoles, “Give Kylo one less thing to worry about.  He's got enough to worry about now.  And he’ll need you to help get him through all this."

 

"It's his war that endangers me in the first place!" Rey complains.  "I won't be a prisoner in a dreary castle surrounded by lava.  I have come home to be free again.  I want to be alone and I want to be free.  Away from this war."  This is what Rey has wanted for so long and she’s not about to give it up after just a few days. 

 

"Don't do this, lady,” Nestor warns.  “His orders were explicit and I follow orders."

 

"I am not leaving, Nestor," she responds in a tone that means business.  Rey wants time to lick her wounds and to heal her bruised heart.  To sort through her tangle of emotions away from prying eyes, away from the Sith and the First Order.  Away from war.  The Jakku desert might have been a lonely place for years, but suddenly Rey craves its solitude.  "I have the ship, I'll be fine," she reasons.  “If anything happens, I can leave.”

 

Sayeed Ren crosses his arms and stares down at her.  Then he jerks his head in the direction of Kylo’s parked shuttle.  "That's one of the most recognizable ships in the galaxy.  And it's unmistakably First Order.  It's a dead giveaway for anyone who scans this area for clues for your whereabouts.  You’re just asking to be found here, Princess.”  Sayeed Ren may be the most junior knight, but he’s a strategic fighting man and he neatly sums up her predicament.  “You are isolated, easily spotted, and vulnerable out in the open here with nothing but sand for miles."

 

He's right, Rey sees.  But she’s not giving in.  "Then take the shuttle.  I never had a ship before and I was fine.  I'll be fine again now."

 

"We’re not leaving you in this desert without any means of escape."  Nestor frowns at her.  "Do you even have any credits, Princess?"

 

"No one takes credits here.  We just trade."

 

Sayeed has heard enough.  The young knight looks increasingly annoyed that Rey would dare to disobey Kylo’s orders.  "This place is a backwater shithole.  Enough talking.  Come on."  He grabs for Rey's hand and tugs her forward. 

 

Annoyed, Rey wiggles free and Force pushes Sayeed Ren hard up the ramp and into the shuttle.  Then she whirls and pulls her pistol on Nestor.  "Back off!" she hollers. "Or you're next."

 

The big guy quickly puts his hands up, but he hasn’t surrendered.  Nestor Ren keeps talking.  "Don’t do this, Rey.  Don’t do this to Kylo.  He lost you once already and it was hard.  If he loses you for good, I don’t know what will happen.  You and I know that guy has lost just about everything in the past few days.  He’ll win the galaxy soon and be completely alone.  His entire family dead and maybe you too.  Come to Mustafar now with us.  Come to safety.  Do it for him.”

 

The guilt trip isn’t working because if Rey feels guilty about anyone right now, it’s Army.  Not Kylo.  Well, maybe it’s working a little.  Because even though Rey is the one holding the gun, now she starts bargaining like Nestor is Unkar Plutt.  “Get me a tracker.  I’ll wear a tracker.  And get me an unmarked, nondescript looking ship.  Something small and generic.  Better yet, make it one of your old used transports.  Something military looking and beat up so it blends in with the wrecks here in the desert.  At first glance, it will look like scrap.”  There’s all sorts of odds and ends ships and equipment strewn across the desert for miles, Rey reasons.  Things like her AT-AT that mostly likely were jettisoned from one of the big capital ships that crashed here decades ago.   If Rey gets an old transport and heaps enough sand near it, she might fool people.

 

But Nestor’s not going for it.  “No deal.  Kylo told me to bring you home to the castle.”

 

“Careful or I’ll shoot you, Nestor!  Then I’ll flee in the shuttle and you’ll never find me,” Rey bluffs.  She’s back on Jakku and back to being the hardnosed scavenger negotiator.   “At least if you agree, you will know where I am.”

 

“You’re not going to shoot me,” Nestor challenges.

 

Her eyes narrow.  “I’m a Sith princess, Nestor Ren.  Don’t test your luck.”

 

And now Nestor is the one negotiating.  “You’ll wear a tracker?  And keep it activated and transmitting at all times?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And if I leave you a datapad, you’ll send Kylo daily messages checking in?”

 

“Fine.”

 

“And if the Order gets wind of any plots or Resistance activity near this system, you will agree to evacuate.”

 

“Only if you throw in a good condition speeder bike as well.”

 

“Alright, lady.  It’s a deal.”  Nestor doesn’t look happy about it, but he’s agreeing. 

 

Rey stuffs her blaster back behind her back just as Sayeed Ren comes limping down the shuttle ramp.  He looks from Nestor to Rey and asks, ”What’d I miss?”

 

Later that day, Nestor is back with a small, utilitarian looking shuttle that looks worse for wear.  “I had some troopers use it for target practice.  There’s no hull damage but it helped to scuff it up a bit,” he explains.  “She’s fully charged and the hyperdrive is pre-programmed for you.”

 

“To jump where?”

 

“Mustafar and whatever the current position of the _Finalizer_ is.  You have all the necessary code clearances for Vader’s shield gate and for landing.”  Rey nods at this and Nestor keeps explaining.  “She’s got heavy duty shielding, but her hyperdrive is lazy.  Still, she’ll get you where you want to go.  Or you can always hail us and we’ll pick you up.”

 

Then he hands Rey a clunky military field model datapad with extra power chargers.  “You couldn’t break this if you tried.  It will survive a blast.  You should be good.”  And now he slips Rey not one but two trackers.  “Better safe than sorry,” he says with a pointed look.   Then he and his fellow knight unload the transport.  It’s fully stocked with rations and water.  Plus, there’s extra power converters, the speeder bike, a medic kit, and two additional blasters.   Nestor even stuffs a few credit cards into her hands even though she protests again that credits don’t work on Jakku.

 

When it’s all unloaded, Sayeed Ren looks her over.  Disapproval is written all over his features.  “Well, good luck, Princess.  I never would have thought to find you here.”

 

“She should be wishing me luck, kid,” Nestor gripes as he mops again at his sweaty forehead.  “Kylo is going to kick my ass when I report this back to him.”   He flashes Sayeed a pained look.  “You’re about to get promoted.  Because if I live, I’ll be the Seventh Knight soon.”

 

“Here, Nestor,” Rey suddenly remembers Kylo’s dead shuttle pilot.  She digs into her pocket and pulls out his dog tags and identification.  “Hux killed him.  He was the pilot on duty for Kylo’s shuttle when Army stole it.  He died instantly.  Shot to the head.”

 

Nestor takes the dog tags and ID.   He sighs.   “He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, I guess,” the knight mutters.

 

“Yeah,” Rey agrees.  And she can’t help but wonder if that explains her and Kylo.  That if she had never been scavenging that day to meet Kylo, none of this would have happened.  And that pilot and so many others might still be alive.   Snoke used to love the story of how she and Kylo had met, Rey remembers.  Even Kylo had claimed it was the Force.  But now, Rey worries it was more bad luck than good. 

 

A resigned Nestor Ren looks her over one last time.  “Are you sure you won’t change your mind?” he asks hopefully.

 

Rey is not backing down.  “I’m sure.  I’ll be fine.  Tell Kylo not to worry.  I just need some time.”


	42. Chapter 42

They call Coruscant the Eternal City.  It’s an apt moniker.  Fitting not only for the millennia old cityscape but also for the resilience of its populace.   Kylo Ren is the latest of many on a long list of notables who will rule this city-world.  For amid the changing fortunes of the galaxy, a myriad of leaders has come and gone.  But Coruscant remains the same.  The Jedi Temple becomes the Imperial Palace becomes a New Republic museum.  And Coruscant’s citizens just shrug and go about their business. 

 

‘So goes Coruscant, so goes the galaxy’ is the best known idiom about this ancient seat of power.   The old saying is ironic, though, because while things change, nothing ever changes.   And that’s why it’s called the Eternal City.  For however Coruscant goes, the Coruscanti never seem to care. 

 

The First Order has been counting on this conventional wisdom to prevail.  But it turns out, they are wrong.

 

General Hux's invasion proceeds as planned without him.  It is a massive undertaking, carefully coordinated to seize the main spaceport, government offices, and all media outlets simultaneously.  Other First Order troops secure the Upper Levels, the Mid Levels, and the Lower Levels concurrently.   No one bothers to attack or defend the Underworld.

 

The Resistance does not put up much of a fight.  Their forces stationed on-world are spread too thin and the preliminary battle at Crait has their reserves off-world scattered and disorganized.  And so when the tanks roll in and stormtroopers flood the streets, there is little initial opposition.  As usual, the Coruscanti never seem to care.  

 

But four days later once the First Order occupation forces have fallen into predictable patrol patterns, the attacks begin.  Some are clearly organized, but loosely so like flash mobs of insurgents.  Others are random sniper attacks and bomb plots.  It is far too prevalent to be the work of just a few holdouts.  Within days, Kylo realizes that he’s seeing the beginning of an urban guerrilla war.  

 

These are old school Rebellion terror tactics, the hallmark of Leia Organa.  This territory might be conquered but its people are not.  They let the larger, more powerful force ostensibly win but then revolt as and when they can.   Wreaking havoc and spreading fear.  For somehow over the last few months, thousands maybe millions of weapons have been quietly smuggled into Coruscant and dispersed widely among the citizenry.  Now, armed shopkeepers, accountants, art gallery owners, and professors suddenly have become angry vigilantes and improvised militias.  It is a surprise move.  For Coruscant, like much of the Republic Core, is a gun-control, weapons-restricted zone.   The First Order had counted on that fact to ensure no homegrown resistance.   But they were wrong, it seems.  For in the end, even the blasé, jaded Coruscantis will resist the First Order.  These people might not be moved to formally join the Resistance, but they share its staunchly democratic ideals.  And when push comes to shove and their way of life is threatened and their world invaded, even these average ordinary citizens will fight.  

 

There is a lesson here, Kylo thinks.  Do not underestimate the power of the people.  Now, determining who is friend and who is foe is impossible until the shooting starts.  That means his troops err on the side of caution and shoot first.  The result is widespread civilian slaughter that only serves to create more insurgents.  For every innocent man, woman and child killed in the crossfire, there are bereft family members who line up to take up arms against the First Order.  And so, the violence feeds on itself.  By one week into the fighting, it’s clear this will take a while and it will be far more difficult than Hux had planned. 

 

When things go wrong is when leaders matter most, Kylo knows.  He is stepping up to the task.  But now he is doing Snoke's job, his own job, and Hux’s job too.  There are not enough hours in the day to accommodate his current schedule.  There are precious few hours to sleep.  But such is life these days for the stressed out, overworked Sith.   No one ever said this would be easy.

 

Kylo is sitting in yet another meeting with his senior leaders when the _Finalizer_ bridge alerts him to the approach of Nestor's shuttle.  Abruptly, Kylo leaves the strategy session to stalk down to the hangar bay.  He has been looking forward to news of Rey.  There had been no time for he himself to chase her to Jakku.  So he had sent Nestor and Sayeed in his place.  His knights are both familiar faces to Rey, and Nestor has been to Rey’s AT-AT before.  And most importantly, these are men Kylo knows he can trust with her life. 

 

He watches impatiently as the two shuttles land and Nestor and Sayeed Ren disembark from their respective crafts.  Nestor looks nervous and jumpy when he catches sight of Kylo and that’s very unlike Nestor’s usual low-key self-assurance.  Something is wrong, Kylo’s intuition tells him.   And now, he is ready for an explanation.

 

Nestor beats him to it. "She's fine.  But she wouldn't come.  We couldn't convince her to leave without violence."

 

What the fuck?   Rey is still on Jakku?  He had not been expecting this. "So you failed?  Is that what you are telling me?" Kylo growls.  "I send two knights to collect one girl and you can't do that?"

 

Nestor pointedly looks around at their audience.  The _Finalizer_ hangar bay is crowded, choreographed chaos during combat operations.  But plenty of his men have stopped to stare.  Nestor is right.  This is not the place for this discussion.   The fewer people who know about Rey, the better. 

 

"Follow me," Kylo commands and he marches his two knights back to the conference room full of generals he just left.  His generals all have the highest level of security clearance and they know better than to gossip.  And almost all of these men know who Rey is anyway from those invasion planning meetings at the bunker.  So as soon as the door shuts behind them, Kylo tears off his mask and pushes Nestor hard up against the wall with the Force.

 

“Explain your failure.”  

 

Even mostly frozen in the Force, chill Nestor is as even tempered as ever.  "The princess is at her home on Jakku.   As safe as she can be under the circumstances.  She has weapons, supplies, two trackers, and a ship.  She'll be fine for a few days.  I think she needs some time alone, boss."

 

Kylo takes that to mean time without him.  He scowls.  "Why?  What reason did she give?"

 

Nestor equivocates.  "Look, I think you are going to have to be the one to bring her back."

 

"Because you can't?" He glares at Nestor.

 

"Short of shooting her, no.   And I didn't figure you wanted me to do that.”  Nestor gives him a hard look.  “Making her a prisoner didn’t work out so well last time, boss.  And she just got abducted at gunpoint by lovesick Hux, remember?  That girl needs less trauma, not more."

 

"She was really broken up about Hux," Sayeed interjects to explain.  He’s trying to be helpful.

 

Kylo ignores him but catches all the sympathetic head nods and glances from his assembled generals.  Before he turned traitor, Hux had been one of them.  And there are those in the First Order who are skeptical that the righteous Hux actually tried to defect.  Plus, the longstanding rivalry between he and Hux is well known.  As a result, a sizeable portion of the military believes that Kylo made up that story as an excuse to kill Hux.  Far too many of his officers believe that he got rid of the star general to consolidate his power in the wake of the Leader’s demise. That once the Coruscant invasion was planned, Kylo no longer had need of the general.  The misconception is problematic because Kylo needs loyalty now more than ever.   And he needs to be seen as the legitimate, logical successor to his Master. 

 

"I don’t care how sad she is about Hux!  I gave you orders!” Kylo snarls at his longtime friend.   “You left Rey alone and vulnerable in the middle of fucking nowhere on Jakku?   She's a prime kidnap and torture target if there ever was one and you walked away and let her stay?"

 

"Boss--"

 

"It's not just the Resistance!   It could be pirates or slavers or any random criminal who wants to use Snoke's daughter to make some credits!"   The more Kylo thinks through this, the angrier he gets. And being a Sith, when his temper flares, things get ugly fast.  "There are people who know who she is!" he roars.  Kylo is livid.   He doesn't need any more bad news today.  Especially bad news about Rey.  He lights his sword and raises it to Nestor's face. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you now, Second Knight." 

 

He sees Nestor swallow hard but, as always, the big man keeps his cool.  "Because killing me won't help you with Rey.  And because everyone other than me who will tell you the truth about things is either dead or in the desert."

 

That's two reasons, both of them good.   Kylo is about to relent when Sayeed pipes up again in an attempt to deflect blame off Nestor.  "The princess was crying her eyes out over Hux.   She wasn't thinking straight or she would have come.  She was overcome by grief.  I think she loved that guy."

 

Fuck!  Now Kylo whips around to lunge after Sayeed with his sword.  "What did you say?"

 

The Seventh Knight of Ren too is up against the wall now.  His eyes are wide as he starts babbling out, "Hux loved her.   Everyone saw it.  I guess she maybe she loved him back."

 

Fucking Hell.  He doesn't need this just now.   And in front of his most senior commanders.   "Yeah?   And why shouldn't I kill you for your failure?" he growls. 

 

Sayeed Ren blinks.  Suddenly, he's at a loss for words.  Apparently, he is full of romantic crap to tell everyone about Rey and Hux, but fresh out of good ideas for himself. 

 

"Boss, let him be.  It was my decision," sighs the resigned Nestor. "I am responsible, not the kid."

 

"This guy has been getting on my nerves since he showed up.  Why shouldn't I kill him?"

 

Nestor thinks a moment.  "Because you said he's a better shot with a blaster than Han Solo."

 

Oh, yeah.  Right.  He had said that.  And annoying as the kid is, he’s pretty good in fight. 

 

"T-That's right.  I'm a good shot with a b-blaster," Sayeed stammers out.  "I can out shoot the Rebellion general."

 

"Criminal.   Han Solo was a criminal," Kylo hisses.  "And he's dead.  He died on Hosnia."  Thank you, General Hux, for that at least.

 

Kylo lowers his sword and starts issuing instructions.  "Nestor, put a system blockade around Jakku.  No one in or out without permission."

 

Nestor shakes his head and argues back. "That's the wrong call, boss. A blockade will only draw attention.  It's her connection to the First Order that endangers her.   Do not draw the dots for the enemy to connect."

 

"She is helpless down there," Kylo complains and he frowns because it sounds like he's whining.  Sith Masters do not whine.  Especially about their troublesome girlfriend. 

 

Again, Nestor argues with him.  "Princess Renata is not helpless and you know it.   Ask Sayeed here.  She tossed him pretty good with the Force."

 

"So you're saying I should just leave her there mourning her traitor?"  That doesn't sit well with Kylo at all.   Yet again, his girl has chosen Jakku over him.   And that’s sort of humiliating.

 

"No one expected Army Hux to do what he did.  Yourself included, boss," Nestor points out.  "Well, she didn't see it coming either.  And now he’s dead.  So, let her be.  Let her grieve a few days in private.  We’ll check in on her and try again soon."   Nestor shoots him a pointed look. "Can't you check on her through the Force or something?  I've seen you talk to her in the Force.  Maybe you can talk some sense into her."

 

Yeah, he can do that.  But he's tried twice already and each time Rey has been sleeping.  The sleep cycles on Jakku and Coruscant are nearly reversed.   And she seems to be sleeping a lot these days.  But maybe that’s because there’s nothing else to do on Jakku. 

 

"Fucking Hux," he mutters. This is all his fault.  It's too bad he can't kill a dead man.  Because if anyone deserves to die twice it is Armitage Hux who turned traitor, stole Rey at gun point, got his mother and his Master killed, and forced the First Order to move up their invasion.   And now, it turns out the general’s invasion plans were a little off too.  First, he fucked up the Starkiller and then he fucked up Coruscant too.  Fucking Hux. 

 

Kylo sighs.  Then he gets back to work. 

 

Late that evening, Kylo is alone meditating in his quarters, trying to quiet his mind and find the Force.  But it’s hard because his datapad keeps buzzing to interrupt him.  Well, really, it’s hard because he can’t stop thinking about his Master’s death.  Now, more so than ever, Kylo feels haunted by the past.  He keeps trying to make sense of it all.  But, as usual, it is a confusing mess.

 

Kylo Ren has had three fathers.   First, his real father.  A man with a yen for adventure, a penchant for shady deals, and a wanderlust that kept him mostly away.   Over the years, Han Solo had showed up at increasingly distant intervals to fight with his mother and borrow credits.  And then one day, he just stopped coming around.   There was never any explanation or divorce.  There was just persistent absence, for which confused Kylo blamed his eight-year-old self.  It would take him years to realize that his parents' failed marriage was one of many family issues Leia Organa hadn't wanted to openly acknowledge.

 

Next, there was his Jedi uncle who was reluctantly recruited for the surrogate dad job.  Luke Skywalker hadn't wanted him either.  I cannot teach him, Kylo had overheard more than once.  He has too much of his grandfather in him.  Hearing only the rejection, his preteen self had never thought to ask why.  He retreated further into his history books and video games, away from the peers who openly shunned him. 

 

And then, there was the voice in his head.  It encouraged him when others would not.  They don't understand you and they never will, the man said.   Pay them no heed.   Someday, the galaxy will know your name and tremble in fear before your power.  Then no one will laugh at you, you will make the rules, and no one will dare to reject you.   Patience, my boy.  You do not yet realize your importance. 

 

He met the voice one day by accident when yet again he had run away from the Jedi Academy.  The voice belonged to a strange, ugly Muun who looked him in the eye and told him 'Your future lies with me, young Skywalker.  Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.'   His fifteen-year-old self had blinked and responded 'But you're not my father.'   'I will be, if you let me' the man had responded.   This Muun wanted him as son.  And more than the easy power and the shocking truths and the future glory, that offer had sealed the deal.  Weeks later he would gladly kneel at the Muun's feet and call him Master.  But for years afterward in private, he called him Father.

 

Awww, fuck.  He is interrupted again.  Kylo’s datapad buzzes and this time it’s one of his knights.  He has a separate notification for his knights to help differentiate between the hundreds of messages he receives a day, mostly from military types not so subtly trying to hype their importance by copying him.  It’s only gotten worse since he became the de facto Supreme Leader.  Kylo sighs and retreats from his reverie to check his datapad.  It’s Nestor Ren looking for company. 

 

_Bourbon or beer?_

 

Kylo types back.  _Beer._   Because after all these interruptions, he’s giving up on the Force for tonight.   Maybe alcohol can calm him instead.

 

Ten minutes later, Nestor shows up at his quarters with a cold six pack under his arm.  Kylo concentrates a moment and the door opens courtesy of the Force.  Nestor wanders in and calls, “Where are you at, Boss?” 

 

“Vader.”

 

Nestor knows the way.  He wanders over to hover in the doorway of Kylo’s meditation chamber that houses the relic of his beloved grandfather.  It’s a private space known to very few, but Nestor is one of them.   Kylo likes to sit here when he loses focus, when life feels out of control.  His grandfather’s example helps to calm him and inspire him.  Besides the castle, this melted mask is all that Kylo has left of Lord Vader thanks to his uncle.  Luke Skywalker had thought a funeral pyre an appropriate send off for the fallen Sith.  To this day, Kylo marvels at the insensitivity of immolating a man in death who had burned so horrifically in life. 

 

His friend looks warily over at the mask of the great Sith lord.  “His head's not still in there, is it?”

 

“No,” Kylo answers.  “He is one with the Force.  He dissolved into the Force like Snoke and Skywalker did.”

 

“That's so weird,” Nestor remarks candidly as he pops open a beer and hands it over.  “But kinda cool too.”  Now he opens one for himself.   

 

“It's because they had such a strong connection to the Force,” Kylo explains wearily.  He’s exhausted and his sleep deficit keeps getting worse.  Because even when he has the time to sleep, he’s too keyed up to relax. “All the Skywalkers do.  Especially my grandfather.  Vader was created in the Force.”

 

“So if the next time you get shot, you start to get all fuzzy and transparent I should be worried?”  Kylo just stares at him and Nestor laughs.  “Got it, boss.  That’s a yes.”  Then he considers the relic a moment.  “I thought Vader was Snoke's real son.”

 

“He was.  Snoke created him in the Force with a human slave woman.”  

 

“That sounds like Grandpa,” Nestor decides after a moment.  “Leader Snoke loved his slave girls.”

 

Kylo nods and confesses, “I don't know anything about my grandmother except she lived on Tatooine with her son.”

 

“Snoke didn't raise his kid?”

 

“No.  Darth Vader was born a slave and bought by a Jedi who was passing through.  My grandfather never knew his connection to Snoke until shortly before he died.  The Emperor hid it from Vader.” 

 

Nestor considers this tale.  Then he takes a long swig of beer.  “You have one fucked up family.”  

 

“Yeah.”  It’s true.  He does.  Kylo too takes a long swig of beer.  He stares hard at what is left of his grandfather’s armor.  A melted husk of the mask the whole Empire feared.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, Force to Force.  Someday he too might be a melted mask in some Sith’s meditation chamber, Kylo thinks.  It’s a depressing thought.  Kylo sighs and looks down at his hands.  “I can’t believe he's gone,” he half-whispers.

 

Nestor knows him well enough to know that he’s not talking about Vader.  “None of us can,” his friend says quietly.  “But you're him now.  And you might end up being better than him in the end.”

 

Kylo shakes his head.  “I can't be better than him.”  And that’s not even a realistic goal, Kylo thinks.  For he worries he will never even come close to equaling him.   

 

Nestor disagrees.  “You might be.  You're sure a lot prettier to look at.  That will matter soon, Kylo.  People need to see their Leader.  Great leaders walk among their people.  They don’t hide in secret bunkers their whole life.  Snoke was never out in the open.  It wasn't his style.” 

 

“It was once.”  Kylo reaches for his discarded datapad and starts searching the holonet.  Then he offers the datapad to Nestor.

 

His friend stares hard at the picture and squints.  “Why do I care about this Chairman Damask guy?  No wait.  Fuck--that's him!  That’s Grandpa!”  Nestor starts swiping through the rest of the holonet entries Kylo’s search has pulled up.  “I kinda see it now.  Geez, someone put the hurt on him.  Who knew the old guy was such a player back in the day.  For a Muun dude, I mean.  Say when was this?”

 

“The latter years of the Republic before the Clone Wars.”

 

"Who's the woman he's always pictured with?  Look at curves on her.  She's built like you used to like 'em."

 

"That's Snoke’s Jedi wife."

 

"Huh.”  Nestor grunts as he thinks this over.  “I would have expected Missus Snoke to be a Twi'lek.   All his slave girls were Twi'leks.  But trust it to Grandpa to marry a hot Jedi Muun.  That's so him."

 

"Yeah,” Kylo smiles a little.  It’s the first time in days. “Yeah, it is."

 

Nestor grins and looks over at Kylo.  "He was old and ugly as Hell and still boning the hot girls.  We should all be as lucky."   Nestor raises his beer. "To Grandpa."

 

Kylo returns the salute.  "To Grandpa."  Actually, Snoke was his great-grandfather, even if he felt more like a father.   And, fuck . . .  he still can’t believe he’s gone. 

 

Nestor keeps swiping.  "So Leader Snoke was once Chairman Hego Damask, the head of the Banking Clan.  No wonder he was so rich."

 

Kylo nods as he keeps drinking.  The alcohol is starting to give him a buzz and it feels good. "He was a war profiteer during the Clone Wars."

 

"A Separatist?” Nestor gives him a questioning look.  “The alien worlds were mostly Separatist, right?"

 

"He played both sides."  And saying that aloud has Kylo wondering whether Snoke had played both sides in this current war.   Because he always had a capture-not-kill order on Leia Organa.  Because there he had stood in the Resistance base offering clemency to the Jedi grandson he had schemed for years to find and ostensibly to kill.   For a Sith who taught that peace was a lie, old Plagueis had surprised Kylo by making a last-ditch peace offering at the end. 

 

"Who knew he was such a public figure?  Look, there's pictures of him testifying before the Senate.   Grandpa sure lived a big life," Nestor summarizes.

 

"Yeah.  He was more than he seemed."  A lot more.  There were many sides to his Master and Kylo wonders now if even he saw them all.  The old Sith had exerted such influence over Kylo for so long that his sudden absence leaves a great gaping hole in his life.  “He was more than he seemed,” Kylo repeats softly before he chugs the rest of his beer.

 

"So are you, Kylo."  Nestor polishes off his own beer and then hands them both another.  "So is your girl, for that matter." 

 

That comment earns Nestor a glare.  Kylo doesn’t like to be reminded that Rey is out there alone on Jakku. 

 

But Nestor doesn’t take the hint.  “She said she would send you a daily message.  That was our deal.  Did she send you a message?”

 

“Yeah, I got proof of life on Rey today.”  Kylo makes a face as he recalls.  “She sent me a picture of her new boots.   She traded some scrap for a pair of secondhand men's boots.”  Her message had said _Doing fine with my new kicks_ but the underlying message was clear:  Rey can take care of herself.  And Kylo doesn't dispute that.  Except there is a war on and she's a target.  This is a whole degree of difficulty above her prior survival gig in her AT-AT.   Plus, just because Rey can scrape by doesn't mean she should have to.  Because Gods, First Order prisoners are at least given shelter, food and water.   On Jakku, stubborn Rey isn't guaranteed even that.   

 

All in all, her short, flippant message had pissed him off.  But it had been very her.  He remembers Rey’s cursory messages from before.  His girl is not one for sentimental love letters and lovey-dovey chat, that’s for sure.  So Kylo had decided it was tit for tat.  He had responded in kind with just a few words:  _Come home._   Because her home is not fucking Jakku.  Her home is with him.  Why does it keep taking so long for Rey to realize that?

 

The first couple of days, Kylo’s request to come home had started an argument.  Rey’s responses were always a variation of the same theme.  _I am safe. I am fine. Go fight your war.  I don't want to be dragged into your war.  Jakku is safer than your war.  It's my home._   Now, he has given up the debate.  He just responds _Come home_.  And sometimes he adds _I miss you_. 

 

"She'll come around in time," Nestor advises.

 

"You think?"  He’s skeptical.  “Sayeed said she was crying hard over Hux,” he sighs.

 

"Yeah, she was.  But I also think she was disappointed it was Sayeed and I come to fetch her.  I think she was hoping it was you.  And that’s a good sign."

 

"I don't have time to go get her."  It’s two and a half days one-way from Coruscant to Jakku and he can’t be away from the battlefront for five days at a time.  Not now when the Resistance is leaderless and the final push is on.  Kylo won’t shirk his duty entrusted to him by his Master.   And Plagueis would approve of this decision, he thinks.  Winning the galaxy takes primacy over his love life.  Even if his girl is a Sith princess with the Force who will help him find balance.  Because as important as that is, consolidating his power is more important.  “It’s too far,” Kylo grumbles.  “I can’t be gone that long.”

 

"I know that,” Nestor doesn’t debate the point.  “And if she's going to be your girl, she's going to have to accept that.  It comes with the job."

 

They are silent for a moment before Nestor asks, “How’s Milo dealing with it?”

 

“He's a wreck but trying to hide it.”  Sort of like himself, Kylo thinks.   Abruptly, he changes the topic.  "What’s new with Cesi in the Rim?" he asks, searching for a neutral topic.

 

His knight shrugs.  "She’s fine.  She's worried about her friends back home.  But she’s busy.  The housekeeper refused to leave Coruscant so Cesi's got the three kids and her father and the house to look after.   It's not her usual life, but she's not complaining.  I think she thinks it’s a bit of an adventure to see how the other half lives.”

 

Kylo slants him a look.  "That housekeeper you left behind is likely to get killed."

 

"Nah.  I had her arrested and put in an internment camp the first day along with her whole family. She’s safer there than in the Mid Levels where she was living.   If this drags on, I'm going to ship her off to the Rim.  She and Cesi make a good team and that way everyone will be safe.  Plus, Cesi says the kids are crying for her.  That housekeeper has been with us for years and the kids love her."  Nestor chuckles now.  “Cesi sent me a picture of her at the park with the girls today.  She captioned it ‘Going Native.’”

 

“Yeah?  Let’s see.”

 

Nestor dutifully pulls out his own datapad and shows Kylo a picture of his pretty wife looking very unlike her customary chic Upper Level herself.  Cesi Flick is sitting cross-legged on the ground wearing yoga pants and a tank top with her hair in a ponytail and no makeup on.  There’s a toddler in her arms and two other little girls trying to pile into her lap.  Everyone is blonde and smiling and wholesome looking.

 

“That’s not Outer Rim,” Kylo remarks as he polishes off his second beer.  He’s hoping the alcohol will help him sleep tonight.  “That’s Mid Rim.  She looks like the girl next door.”

 

“That’s as Outer Rim as Cesi gets,” Nestor laughs.  “I guess she’d have to be missing a few teeth to be Outer Rim.”

 

“She and your kids would have to be penniless and starving in an AT-AT,” Kylo informs him with a scowl.  “Got any more beers?  Let’s get drunk,” Kylo decides.  Maybe getting drunk will help. 

 

“Here.”  Nestor hands him another beer and he himself pulls the last from the pack.  The two men clink bottles as Nestor says with reverence, “To Grandpa.”

 

“To Grandpa,” Kylo agrees. 


	43. Chapter 43

It rains on Rey as she heads to Niima Outpost.  That's a good sign, she tells herself, and she makes a wish.  Rain is a blessing on Jakku.  Maybe, she thinks, the Force is with her today. 

 

Rey needs all the luck she can get.  Because she is hoping today to finally determine the issue that has preoccupied her constantly of late.  Is she pregnant?  

 

Her periods were never regular until she spent time at the Resistance and started eating more nutritious, larger meals and putting on some weight.   Likely, her body had never been healthy enough to conceive in the past.  Rey had never even bothered to worry about pregnancy after she and Kylo had spent those few days together on his ship.  Then the issue had never been ripe again until she and Kylo had spent a night together at Snoke's bunker.  Of course, they hadn’t taken any precautions.   Nothing about that evening had been planned.  And now, suddenly after months of regular cycles, Rey hasn't had a period in well over a month.  It worries her.  Every day that passes makes her worry more. 

 

She has spent far too much time googling information about early pregnancy symptoms on the holonet.  They are all vaguely applicable but that could mean anything.  If she's tired, it's probably because she is out of shape for life on Jakku.  If she is dizzy, it could be from the blinding sun that can play tricks on your mind and your vision.  If she is queasy now and then, it could just be her body adjusting back to eating portions instead of fresh food.  If she is more emotional than usual lately, that’s because Rey has legitimate reasons to be sad.  But still . . . she wonders . . . and she worries . . .

 

Rey vacillates between believing that she is pregnant and denial that it’s even a real possibility.  All this uncertainty about such a life changing occurrence is maddening.  She needs an answer.

 

So Rey makes daily trips to Niima Outpost hoping to catch the medic.  He comes only once a week now, she learns, and that first day Rey had just missed him.   She waits an entire additional week for his return.  Finally, the day has come and, sure enough, the medic tent is there when she arrives. 

 

The medic is a grizzled man of indeterminate years with sun weathered skin and shabby clothes.  Basically, he looks like everyone on Jakku.  Old before their time from too much sun, too much work, and too much hardship.  A basic medical scan costs three full portions, but Rey talks him down to two.  Then, she holds her breath.  The medic makes small talk as he fiddles with his ancient equipment and it's making Rey increasingly nervous.

 

"I haven't seen you around here in a long time.   You used to work for Plutt, right?"

 

"I used to.  Now, I scavenge."

 

"Yeah?   Aren't those wrecks picked clean by now?"

 

"Some of them."

 

"Well, let's see . . .  Yes.  You are pregnant.  About seven weeks along.  Maybe eight if the baby is small."

 

"P-Pregnant?"  Rey can barely say the word out loud.

 

"Yes.  When was the day of your last period?   That will help us get the dates right."  Rey tells him and the medic generates an estimated due date for her child based on normal human gestation.  Then he prints out a picture of the scan and hands it to Rey.  It doesn’t look like a baby, it looks more like a bean.  But whatever.  It’s a baby.  Her and Kylo’s baby.

 

Rey swallows hard.  This just got very real.

 

The medic keeps reporting data from the scan. "It's a girl.  Chromosomally normal.   Everything checks out fine.  There's nothing here to indicate any issues."

 

"Oh."

 

Her flat tone says it all.  The medic slants her a glance.  "You don't look happy."

 

"I'm not," she confesses quietly and looks away, suddenly ashamed to be admitting that this is anything less than a completely joyous moment.   On the holonet shows, this news always comes with squeals and smiles. 

 

And now the medic seems a bit uncomfortable.  "Look, girl, you'll have to go off-world to take care of this.  I don't do that."

 

"Do what?"  Rey isn’t following.

 

"Abortions."

 

"Oh.  Okay."

 

"There's a medical center at the nearest space station.  They can help you there.  But I warn you, it won't come cheap."

 

“Okay.”  Abortion is not a relevant issue.  Because as she told Army, Rey is keeping this baby.   Even if she’s not exactly happy about it.

 

The medic must see her discomfort.  But he misunderstands because he sighs and adds, "Look, I'm told that the First Order takes unwanted human babies.  If you have this kid, they might want it.  I know they want mostly male children to be stormtroopers, but I think they take some girls too.   That might be an option for you to look into."

 

"Okay." 

 

"The standard advice for early pregnancy is plenty of rest and food and water on demand.  Try to avoid extreme exertion.  Anything that severely stresses your body might endanger your pregnancy.  But any activity you usually do is fine."

 

"Okay."

 

"All pregnancies are at risk for the first trimester.  So you could just wait and see if nature takes care of this for you.  If that's . . . uh . . . what you want."

 

"Okay."

 

"Good luck."

 

"Okay."

 

Okay, she's going to be okay.  Rey tells herself this over and over again on the way home. 

 

So much for that rain wish. 

 

She takes the long way home, wandering the desert on her speeder as her mind wanders too.  This news changes everything, Rey knows.  But it's not like she is destitute with no source of support.   She can fly off Jakku this very morning and present herself to Kylo for help.  And he will help.  She knows he will.  But it's one thing to get herself romantically entangled with Kylo and another thing to raise a child with him.  That's not a relationship, that's a family.  That's forever. 

 

Things are about to change dramatically in her life, Rey knows.  And it’s going to take some getting used to.  As much as she has thought about this possibility over the past couple of weeks, Rey is just now beginning to wrap her head around it.

 

This baby will accelerate things with Kylo.  All Kylo's talk of marriage had seemed amorphous and far off in the future.  Plus, Rey had never said yes.   But while Rey wasn't ready to marry Kylo before, she may have to now.  And maybe she ought to marry him.  It will give their daughter the two-parent family Rey herself never had.  She wants far better for her daughter than living hand to mouth scavenging in dangerous wrecks.  Her daughter will not grow up on a backwater planet with no education and no future.  Kylo will see to that.  He can offer Rey all the financial support and protection she and the baby will ever need.  But it comes with strings attached. 

 

Those strings were very apparent when Rey had watched the holonet war news earlier that morning.  There was Kylo doing his customary stomp down his shuttle ramp and stalk across a battlefield, sword lit with troops behind him.  He is a violent man with a relentless will to power that supersedes everything.  His enemies are legion and growing by the day as his war claims more victims.  He's controlling and manipulative and he can be kind of an asshole.  Plus, if he succeeds in conquering the galaxy, being his wife may come with a job of its own. 

 

She's too young for this, Rey knows.  Too young to be a mother, too young to be a wife, and far too young to be any form of public figure.  You grow up fast on Jakku and Rey has done and seen things many people much older than her have not.  But those experiences have not prepared her to be Missus Kylo Ren.  Rey had thought herself a fraud as a Sith princess.  Well, she'll definitely be a faker as First Lady of the galaxy.  Whoever heard of a First Lady from Jakku? 

 

Still, Jakku is what has Rey wanting a better life for this baby.   Because at twenty, her daughter will not be pregnant and alone, fleeing a war to eek out an existence in the desert.  At twenty, her daughter ought to be finishing university or working a fun job somewhere.  Being young and having fun.  Her life ought to be centered around her friends and carefree nights out.  Not trips to Niima Outpost.  But that's the thing--there is nothing carefree about being a Skywalker.  And there will be no anonymous fun for a daughter of Kylo Ren.  Life is different for the Sith.

 

And what about her?   What about what Rey wants for herself?  Rey can admit that Kylo is beguiling and compelling and sexy.   She's weak for him in ways that are hard to put into words.  Because before the Starkiller, before the Force, before she knew the truth of her past, and before she knew the Skywalkers, Rey had fallen for a random tourist with spare power converters and a flashy black shuttle.  He kisses her like he means it and he wants to marry her.  And Rey thinks he would be fine about the baby.  Maybe even excited. 

 

But Kylo is also a volcano of emotions, many of them angry and bitter.  He is intense, oh so intense, and it can be sort of exhausting at times.   Even without his ambitions to rule the galaxy, he would not be an easy man to live with.  There will be plenty of fights, Rey knows.  Loud ones.  Because Rey of Jakku might not go looking for fights but she doesn’t back down from them.  She’s not a ‘yes, dear’ submissive sort of gal and never will be.  And, yeah, Kylo says he likes that but he might be all talk.  And, if so, that’s an issue because the Sith syphon their emotions into power and their power quickly becomes action.  Kylo Ren doesn’t just get angry, he acts on his anger.   He hit her once.  Would he do it again?  Would he hurt their child?   Rey knows he would regret it, but she also knows that he might do it.   And that worries her.

 

She sighs.  One thing is for sure, life with Kylo will never be boring.  But it will also never be normal. 

 

Maybe it's not Kylo that is the issue, she thinks, so much as what life with Kylo entails.  The war, the danger, the Skywalker legacy, the Dark Side Sith, and the burden of the Force.   It all comes with Kylo and Rey isn't sure she wants it.  Growing up, Rey had fantasized about the sitcom shows she watched on the holonet.  Imagining a humdrum Mid Rim existence that was so delightful in its pure ordinariness.  And, yeah, Rey knows those shows she watches are stupid.  With the bumbling idiot patriarch no one respects, the bossy mom and a brood of undisciplined, sassy kids.   Where the biggest conflicts are where to go on vacation and meddling neighbors. Not conquering the galaxy and controlling the Force.  Still, the banal conformity of it all is so appealing to the scavenger girl who has lived her life on the fringes of society.   Having a family and living a normal life have always been goals to aspire to for Rey.

 

Nothing about her life will ever be mundane with Kylo, Rey knows.   And that's something she has to face.  If nothing else, Rey is a realist about life.  She thinks through her options and makes choices.  And usually, she is choosing between less than satisfactory options.  Maybe this is no different, she muses.  Or maybe, there’s not really a choice here at all.  Because the decision to have this baby is a decision to have Kylo in her life, like it or not.   Somehow, she knows that with the Skywalker family history, Kylo will want to be a father to his little girl.  But that doesn’t mean she and Kylo need to be together as a couple.

 

One thing is clear:  she cannot stay on Jakku any longer.  So the immediate choice is what to do next.  Should she strike out on her own someplace safe and anonymous to start a new life alone before she tells Kylo?  Or should she try and make a go of it with Kylo together as a family?   

 

Rey decides that she will sleep on it.  There’s no rush to decide today.

 

In the morning when she wakes the desert is still somewhat cool and pleasant.  On a whim, Rey rides out towards the outpost.  Where it rained yesterday, there are flecks of green on the sand.  Tomorrow there will be green sprigs with buds.  And the next day, Rey knows, there will be snow white flowers. 

 

This is the hope of life, she realizes.  Even here on harsh Jakku there is hope for something new and better.  Each rain brings a renewal of sorts and beauty, too.  Rey reaches down now to touch her still flat belly, wondering at the fragile growing life within.  It too is barely a little sprig but it is the hope of life.  This child is the promise of the family she never had and the reason to build a better future after this war.  And that’s worth fighting for.   Once, Rey had told Snoke and then Army that family was the only thing worth fighting and dying for.  And if this child is worth those ultimate risks, then it is worth the risk of Kylo Ren.  Plus, he is this child's father.  And if the Skywalker history teaches anything, it's that fathers matter.   Rey owes it to her daughter to at least try to make things work with Kylo. 

 

Who knows?  Maybe they will live happily ever after despite it all.   That would be a first for the Skywalkers.  And a first for the Palpatines too, she realizes.

 

Rey’s mind is made up.  She’s leaving Jakku today for Kylo.  And that’s a strange irony of life.  For so long, Rey has clung to the hope of coming home.  She had wanted to return to a simpler life far away from war with conflicts she understands and can manage.  Sometimes even win.  But now, less than two weeks after returning, she is leaving again.   Jakku hasn’t changed, she has.  And maybe, Rey thinks, that’s what people mean when they say you can never go home again.   Because while you can go to the place you once lived, you cannot be the person you once were.  Experiences change you.  They have you wanting more and different things.  And they have you seeing life with fresh eyes.

 

Part of Rey will always be Jakku.  The past will always be a part of her present.  But she will not let it shape her future.  For her own sake and for this baby’s sake, Rey wants to break free of it. 

 

But before she leaves, there is one place Rey wants to revisit.  The place where it all began.  It doesn’t take her long to make it to the _Inflictor_ in the ships graveyard.  The wreck looks just the same as it always has to Rey’s eyes.   Ten minutes later, she’s climbed up into the bridge to reminisce about her first meeting with Kylo.  He had stood tall and handsome at the prow of the decaying star destroyer.  The afternoon light had hit his face just so, highlighting his angular features.   From that very moment, Rey had known Kylo was something special.  She had prattled on pointing out other wrecks, but she had completely failed to see that the most interesting thing on Jakku was standing right in front of her.   For here amid the wreckage of the past stood the man who would shape the galaxy’s future and her own.   

 

Moved by the memory, Rey takes out her datapad and takes a picture to send it to Kylo.  _Remember this? It’s the Inflictor bridge_ she types.  _Where girl met Sith._

 

Kylo must be working late for not ten seconds later she receives his reply.  It’s the same one he always sends:  _Come home_.   

 

This time, Rey types back.  _Okay._

 

Then she tucks her datapad in her waist and heads for the elevator shaft to climb down.  It’s a climb she’s done many, many times here and in other wrecks.  She is careful, as usual.  But this time, something goes wrong.  She’s two, maybe three stories from the ground when her cable snaps or dislodges or something causes it to fail.  Rey grabs for her secondary cable, but it slips through her gloved hands.  And then it’s a freefall plummet into darkness.

 

Rey lands hard and broken at the bottom. 

 

It’s not the first time Rey has fallen in a wreck, but it is by far the worst.  She hurts everywhere and she hurts badly.  It takes all her effort not to black out from the pain.  Reaching blindly with her right hand she grabs for her datapad.  As Nestor Ren had promised, it’s very sturdy.  Far sturdier than Rey.  It’s still on and open to the message from Kylo.  Feeling at the keyboard in the darkness rather than seeing it, Rey manages to type one word. 

 

_Help._

Kylo must still be at his own datapad because he sends a reply that beeps but Rey’s eyes can’t seem to focus to read it.  She hears him in the Force now in her head.  _Rey!  Rey!  What’s happening?  Are you hurt?_

 

She can’t form the words in her mind, so intense is her pain.  She tries but fails to focus enough to reply.  The effort and the pain overwhelm her and Rey succumbs to unconsciousness.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are concerned about triggers, please see the warning in the notes below.

Rey's fall occurs when Kylo is finishing up on Coruscant supervising a clean sweep of insurgents on the Mid Levels.   Kylo is in combat less and less these days due to his command responsibilities, but he had wanted to participate personally today.  It’s good stress relief for an overworked Sith with anger issues.  But it’s unfortunate timing.  Plus, he is two and a half days in hyperspace from Jakku, and that's too far away for him to help Rey.  Luckily, there is a First Order cruiser in the Western Reaches two systems away that gets to Jakku within an hour.   Thanks to her trackers, Rey is quickly located.  As he had guessed, she's in the _Inflictor_ wreck. 

 

The initial report does nothing to reassure him.  Rey is alive but injured.  There are no details. 

 

And now, Kylo can't concentrate.  He's too worried.  Panicked, to be honest.   Because he can't bear to lose anyone else.   Not after all that he lost on Crait.  And he is also torn.  His men are looking to him for leadership and he is distracted by personal matters.  It is a frustrating confluence of events.  Kylo Ren knows that he cannot let his men down.  And he cannot let his Master down.  Since that awful day on Crait, Kylo has been trying his very best to live up to the formidable legacy of Darth Plagueis.   That's what great leaders do--they rise to the occasion despite long odds and complications.   And it's what great Sith do--they sublimate their personal desires for the lust for power, always keeping their focus on what matters most.  His Master would expect no less and Kylo is trying hard to make him proud. 

 

What would his Master do in this circumstance, Kylo wonders.  Milo.  Milo is the answer, he decides. The old Sith servant is unquestioningly loyal and his judgment is impeccable.  Plus, Rey knows him and likes him. Kylo gives Milo carte blanche to deal with the situation.  Do what must be done and keep me informed are Kylo's only instructions.  Then, he takes a deep breath, returns to his nighttime combat raids, and hopes for the best. 

 

Hours later, the updates start trickling in. Rey has sustained injuries from a fall.  Her pelvis is broken in several places, as is her left leg.  She has minor internal injuries as well, but there is no mortal danger.  And that is a relief but, oh Rey . . .   His poor Rey.  Injured and alone in a wreck on Jakku.

 

Once Milo is on the scene, the updates become more encouraging and less clinical in nature.  Kylo knows he is being managed, but he also recognizes that this is part of why Milo is so good.  It’s a little like how Kylo works so well with Nestor.  Like his Second Knight, Milo knows his high-strung nature so he knows what details Kylo needs to hear and what will only frustrate or worry him.  And he trusts the old man to deliver any bad news.   But so far, the news is good.  Rey is responding well to treatment and we are hoping for a full recovery, Milo writes.  There is no danger to Rey. 

 

Kylo exhales a sigh of relief.

 

Two days later, Milo reports that her treatments are concluded and Rey needs time to heal.  In the meantime, she is being transferred to the _Finalizer_ for examination by the galaxy’s leading specialists.  It is a precaution mostly.  To ensure that Rey's recovery is as complete as possible, the doctors have suggested a second opinion relating to her pelvic injury. 

 

Whatever, Kylo thinks.  That sounds like Milo has invented an excuse to bring Rey by to see him.  Maybe she has been asking for him, Kylo hopes.  Or maybe, Milo just knows how desperate he is to see Rey.  Normally, he would object to bringing Rey to the war zone.  After all, even the _Finalizer_ is vulnerable, for he lost a star destroyer in Coruscant's orbit just last week.  But Milo's plan is fine by him so long as it’s temporary.  It will be good to see Rey even if it's only for a brief time.  After all, the last time he saw his girl, Hux had a gun to her head. 

 

So much has happened since then.  And much of it, only Rey will truly understand.  Yes, it will be good to see Rey.  For many reasons.

 

That’s why Kylo has decided not to complain to her about Jakku.  There's no point now and 'I told you so' is never well received.  Kylo resolves that he will be grateful his Rey is alive and recovering, and he will suck up his anger.   Milo had been unusually blunt in his instructions that Rey needs rest, and that had caught his attention.  Kylo got the subtext of the message loud and clear:  Rey needs rest and not more drama.  And, honestly, he could use the same.  So he will tell her how glad he is to see her and how much she means to him.  Now, more than ever, it is important to him that she is safe and well cared for.  Hopefully, this devotion will prompt Rey to agree to take up residence at Vader’s castle now.  And there will be no more of this Jakku business.

 

At least, that's the plan. But it quickly goes awry, as so many of Kylo Ren’s plans do lately. 

 

Days later, Kylo is on his way back to the _Finalizer_ from the surface when he senses Rey in the Force. Her Light is like a cool breeze to his mind.  Invigorating him and inviting him.  He luxuriates in it a moment before he’s off and heading for the medibay to see her.   He has a spring in his step today.  Just thinking of Rey encourages him.

 

It’s still a bit of a mystery why Milo had insisted Rey come to the _Finalizer_ for further treatment.   She should be basically healed by now.  Rey just needs more rest and some limited rehab, according to the latest reports he’s seen.    And so Kylo is surprised to find Rey asleep on a gurney in a private room in the medibay.  Chief Healer Smath is attending, along with several junior medics who stand to stiff attention as Kylo bursts into the room.  Milo is there, of course.  So are two stormtroopers flanking a middle-aged man and woman in prison garb with shackled hands and feet. 

 

“My lord.”  Milo bows low as he stomps in. 

 

“Milo,” Kylo nods and immediately turns to Smath.  “Why is she asleep?” he demands testily.  He’s disappointed.  He was hoping to talk to Rey. 

 

Tall, white haired and stoop shouldered, Chief Healer Smath is a veteran of the Empire and the head of all medical care for the First Order troops.  He is unflappable, with a measured and authoritative voice.  “The princess was sedated for the journey.  The bacta we injected to help heal her crushed pelvis can be painful initially after it knits the bones back together.  It’s best for patients to sleep through it.”

 

Yes, Kylo remembers from his own mangled arm a few months ago.  Bacta works miracles but that doesn’t mean it’s painless.  And now, he is suspicious.  “I thought she was healed.”

 

“Basically, she is.  But more rest is better than less rest.  And under the circumstances, without any head trauma, there was no reason for her to be awake.  We plan to let the princess awaken naturally in a few hours.” 

 

Kylo is mollified somewhat.  But he’s still suspicious as he eyes the pair in prison garb.  He has a bad feeling about all this. “Where are these specialists you came here for?  And why are they needed?”  Kylo is stripping off his gloves now as he moves to Rey’s bedside.  He lays a gentle hand on her cheek.  His face softens behind his mask as he looks down upon his princess.  She looks peaceful and lovely, her face completely untouched by the fall that had so damaged her body.  

 

Milo speaks up to dismiss the stormtroopers and the junior medics and that’s a bad sign, Kylo thinks.  Whatever this is, it must be bad news.  “These are the specialists,” Milo gestures to the pair standing silently in handcuffs.  Then he spouts off the names of the two captives who are apparently doctors.  Milo explains, “Coruscant has the leading medical facilities in the Core and the most experienced practitioners in human obstetrics.  As it so happens, the Order had the two foremost experts in custody already.”

 

Kylo looks over the conscripted physicians.  Yes, they have all sorts of people in custody on Coruscant now, he thinks.  From bankers to teachers to doctors apparently.  That’s how widespread the homegrown resistance to the Coruscant invasion has been.  All walks of life, including credentialed and accomplished professionals with much to lose, have taken up arms against him.   It’s not just idealistic university students and the usual left-wing reactionaries.

 

“Obstetrics?” Kylo echoes as he tears his gaze from Rey.  “Obstetrics??”  Immediately, he yanks off his helmet and pins old Milo with his eyes.  “What are you telling me?”

 

“The princess was pregnant at the time of her accident, my lord.  It was omitted from the official records to respect her privacy.” 

 

“Pregnant?  She was pregnant??”  Kylo whirls to stare hard at sleeping Rey.  Pregnant!  Fuck. 

 

Chief Healer Smath speaks up now.  “We estimate that the princess was almost eight weeks pregnant at the time of her injuries.   Her condition was discovered immediately by the first responders.  For a time, it looked as though the baby would survive.  But the princess began bleeding two days ago while enroute here.  As of this morning, we can no longer locate a heartbeat for the child.  I’m afraid that the princess is suffering a miscarriage as a result of her injuries.”

 

Fuck.  Kylo absorbs this with a large gulp of air.  He had not seen this coming.   Maybe he should have, but he didn’t.  He’s had other things on his mind.

 

“Why the specialists?” he asks sharply, eyeing the pair in chains.   They both have shocked looks on their faces, as if they cannot believe they are seeing Kylo Ren without his mask.  Are they surprised that he is so young?  Or just surprised to see him at all?  He can’t tell.

 

Smath keeps talking.  “When it became clear that the pregnancy might terminate itself, we wanted to safeguard her fertility for the future.  To make sure that we took no steps in healing her pelvic injuries that might compromise future pregnancies.  Sir, we are experts in battlefield trauma, and not in fertility.”  The burly old veteran doctor nods to his colleagues.  “These specialists concur with our treatments and our assessment that there is no permanent damage.  Once she has healed, the princess should be able to conceive and carry a child to term in the future.”

 

Kylo nods as he absorbs what he is being told.  “But this c-child,” he stumbles over the word as he feels his temper begin to rise, “is dead.  Is that what you are telling me?”

 

“Yes, my lord,” Smath confirms.

 

Milo shoots him a sympathetic look.  No one else looks sympathetic.  That might be because they don’t know he’s the father.  Or it might be because they know he’s Kylo Ren and he kills lots of people.  What’s another dead baby to him?

 

“There wasn’t anything we could do to save her child, my lord,” Smath reports solemnly.  “Miscarriages sometime occur spontaneously at this early stage.  It’s possible that her accident was not the cause and the timing was simply coincidental.”

 

There are no coincidences with his family, Kylo thinks bitterly.  And here is yet another dead Skywalker, he realizes unhappily.  Kylo stares down at sleeping Rey in silence for a long moment.  “Snoke spoke of another,” he remembers aloud, understanding for the first time the true meaning of his Master’s dying words.  “The Supreme Leader knew she was pregnant.“  His old Master must have sensed it in the Force.

 

"I'm sorry, my lord."  Chief Healer Smath is a veteran who has seen a lot of loss in his time.  He speaks now with a voice that conveys all of that gravitas. 

 

"Did she know?" Kylo demands angrily.  “Did Rey know she was pregnant?”

 

"She was two months along," Smath answers.

 

"Did she know?"  Kylo demands again.  He wants a clear answer.

 

Milo speaks up.  "This was found in her pocket."  He hands over to Kylo a crumpled small printout of some kind.

 

He looks at it blankly.  "What is this?"

 

"A medical scan of her pregnancy.  She knew, my lord."  Milo says this with regret because only he understands that Rey had affirmatively chosen to remain on dangerous Jakku rather than join Milo in safety and comfort at Vader’s castle.  And apparently, Rey had done so with full knowledge of her pregnancy. 

 

Kylo seethes at this revelation and his eyes narrow.  “Does she know that the child is gone?” he asks softly.

 

“No,” Smath answers.  “But she knew the child was at risk.”

 

“I will be the one to tell her,” Kylo decides grimly.

 

“Shall we contact Commandant Hux about this matter?” Smath inquires and Kylo has no clue what he is asking. 

 

“What?” he asks blankly.

 

“The younger Hux was the princess’ . . . ah . . . friend . . . was he not?”  Smath dances around the issue.  When Kylo frowns and blinks at him, the First Order’s lead medic hastens to explain.  “The first responders included several medics who were previously stationed at the old Leader’s bunker, my lord.  They recognized her.  Perhaps they spoke out of turn, but they did explain that Princess Renata and General Hux were . . . uh . . . close.”

 

Fucking Hell!  Does everyone think this is Hux’s kid?   Only he and Milo and a few of his knights know better, Kylo realizes.  He looks to Milo but the old man is wearing his poker face, discreet as always in the personal affairs of the Sith.

 

“There is no need to inform the Commandant,” Kylo says stiffly as again he stares over at sleeping Rey.  He sighs and tries again to tamp down the rising anger within him.  He can feel his shoulders start to rise and fall with his barely contained emotion.  His hand is itching to ignite his sword and destroy something at this news.  Because this unexpected loss to his family compounds all the others.  But like all the rest, it was preventable.  "Our family is cursed," he mutters bitterly under his breath.  Because Light or Dark, the Skywalkers all die in violence.  Even this unborn baby.

 

Life might create the Force and make it grow.  And the Skywalkers might be the first family of the Force.   But time after time, it seems like the Skywalker legacy is not life but death.   So much death.  Snoke dies to his own grandson, Vader dies to his son, and Han Solo dies to the Starkiller.  Snoke's wife and her son die to Sidious, Shmi Skywalker dies to the Tatooine raiders, Padme Skywalker dies mysteriously with the Jedi, and Leia Organa dies to Hux.  And now this surprise child dies to Rey’s misadventures on Jakku.  Maybe some of them deserved their fate, Kylo thinks, but others clearly did not.  They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time or they were collateral damage in the conflicts of the Sith.  Now, Kylo is the only one left standing to inherit the glory, the responsibility, and all the pain that comes with being a Skywalker. 

 

Fuck!  This baby is what Rey had been scared to tell him on the bunker landing platform.  This baby is the other Skywalker that Darth Plagueis had been referring to as he died.  This baby was probably the reason Luke Skywalker had let Rey flee from the Resistance.  Maybe it’s even why his uncle had finally wanted to kill him.  The old Jedi would have thought himself justified to kill his nephew if he thought it would save another generation from becoming Sith.  Yes . . . this lost baby explains a lot.  Maybe even why a scared and worried Rey demanded to remain on Jakku.   Had she been afraid to face him?  Worried that he would be mad?   Does she know him so little that she feared he would not stand by her and their child? 

 

“Was it a boy?” Kylo asks hoarsely, looking to Smath.

 

“It was a girl,” the old healer replies. 

 

A girl.  A little girl who might have looked like her mother.  Or maybe she would have inherited the trademark red hair of the Palpatine clan.  Fuck.  Kylo turns back away.  He doesn’t want to know any more.  He can't take any more loss.  Even if it’s the loss of a daughter he never knew existed.  He’s been struggling to hold himself together after that awful day on Crait.  Kylo doesn’t need this.  Not now. 

 

The woman doctor in chains speaks up, staring him down with undisguised contempt.  “How does it feel to lose one of your own?” she hisses at Kylo.  Then she glares at him defiantly, as if daring him to light his sword and strike her down.  

 

It’s tempting, but he resists.  Instead of killing her, Kylo answers her.  He steps forward to loom over the woman and states, “I have lost as much or more than anyone in this war, Doctor.” Holding first her gaze and then the eyes of her terrified colleague at her side, Kylo announces quietly, “I am not the villain.”   History will get it right in the end, Kylo consoles himself, even if Coruscant’s populace hasn’t yet.  He is fighting for a better future for everyone.  Time will prove him right in the end.  Too bad his daughter won’t live to see it.   

 

Kylo dismisses Smath and his conscript colleagues.  Now, it’s just him and Milo and sleeping Rey.  “Put some guards on this room,” he instructs Milo.   Even aboard his flagship, he is worried for Rey’s safety.  Because if Hux could turn traitor, then any of his men could do so. 

 

“Of course,” Milo acknowledges the request.   Then he looks to Kylo and reveals that he at least knows the truth.  “I am very sorry for your loss, my lord.”

 

Kylo doesn’t acknowledge this condolence.  Instead, he runs a hand through his hair and asks, “How is Rey going to take this news?” 

 

“I honestly can’t say,” old Milo decides after a moment of consideration.  “The princess has been heavily sedated or unconscious for most of the time I have seen her.”  The old man must sense his anger at Rey.  Milo gives him a meaningful look as he adds quietly, “Whatever her reasons for remaining on Jakku, surely the loss of this child is punishment enough for her error in judgement.”

 

When Kylo doesn’t respond, Milo moves to stand beside him at Rey’s bedside.  The old man reaches to smooth the sleeve of her hospital gown.  “He was so happy that you found her.  Did he ever tell you that?  You have no idea how happy you made him when you showed up with Rey.  He wanted to make her a princess for you, so in time she could be a full partner to you and not just a wife in the background.”  It’s the first old Milo has spoken openly of his old Master since Snoke’s demise. 

 

Kylo shoots the old man a curious look.  Because that’s not how Kylo remembers it.  He remembers Snoke holding a sword to Rey’s throat as he crowed about Kylo failing yet another test of his training.  But no one knew wily old Plagueis like this old man had, Kylo knows.  They had spent well over a century together. 

 

The old guy looks so bad, Kylo realizes as he focuses on something other than himself and Rey for the first time.  Milo is his usual dignified, quiet self but the twinkle in his eye is gone.  Milo looks like a man going through the motions.  It’s not unlike himself, Kylo realizes.  Milo too is soldiering on.   

 

“Darth Plagueis wanted you to have with Rey what he had with Shan,” Milo explains softly.   “Those were the best years of his life.  A mere ten years out of the hundreds that he lived.  Madame made him happy in a way his plots and wars never did.”   

 

And that reminds Kylo.  “Where is Shan Damask?” he asks.  “Snoke said that there is a holochron with her.” 

 

“Yes,” Milo nods.  “Our Master kept Lady Plagueis in the temple on Naboo.  She has the holochron,” he answers.   “Your mother is on Naboo now too,” the faithful Sith retainer reveals.  “I laid her to rest beside Caar Damask on the old Palpatine estate we own.  When you are ready, Master, I will take you there,” he offers.

 

Instantly, Kylo declines.  “I am not ready.”  He sighs and looks over at Rey again.  He was nearly a father until her accident.  “I am not ready for any of this, Milo.” 

 

“I understand, Master.” 

 

Kylo winces at the honorific.  Because he’s doesn’t want to be the Master.  He would much rather be the Apprentice.    Being the Supreme Leader, the sole Sith, and the last Skywalker is a responsibility he never expected.  And it’s so hard.  Far harder than he ever realized.   Everywhere he looks there are problems to be solved and people to be dealt with.   He is pulled in every direction at once.  And now Rey is hurt and there had been a baby . . . a daughter . . .  

 

Kylo grabs his helmet now and jams it back on.  Duty calls and, for once, he welcomes the escape back to work.  He needs to get back to the bridge and away from all these emotions he doesn’t want to feel and doesn’t have time to vent.   Away from Rey who he had so longed to see until he knew the truth.  He’s so angry.  But he’s trying hard to tamp it down and to keep it under wraps.  Like his grief.  But he’s a Sith, so Kylo has spent years learning to harness the power of his emotions.  It feels unnatural—almost Jedi-like to suppress them. 

 

“Have someone sit with her, Milo.  I don't want her to be alone,” he decides.  His orphan scavenger girl has spent far too much of her life alone.  “Have them alert me when she wakes.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that this chapter contains a miscarriage.  Rey and Kylo’s baby won’t survive Rey’s fall.  This is not gratuitous sadness for my story.  There is a always reason for the sex and violence in my stories.


	45. Chapter 45

Rey wakes up alone.  Blinking her eyes open as she wiggles her fingers and toes and assesses what hurts.  She’s surprised to find it’s nothing.  She looks around to find she’s in a hospital bed again.  Then, she hears someone speaking.

 

“My boyfriend's older brother's best friend did a short stint at the Leader's command bunker.  He says Leader Snoke called this princess his daughter.  Sometimes she would even sit on the old Leader's throne in his place when he was busy.”

 

“Really?  She looks so young for that.”

 

Someone has pulled the privacy curtain around Rey’s bed so she can’t see the speakers.  It’s two women and that’s all she knows.  Oblivious that she is awake, the women continue with their gossip.  It’s all about Rey.

 

“I thought that Kylo Ren was the Supreme Leader’s son.  That’s what everyone says.   Does that mean this princess is Kylo Ren's little sister?”

 

“I don't know.  Maybe.  I guess so.   Ren is very interested in her recovery.  Smath has us sending all of our reports to him.”

 

“Yeah?  So what else did this guy at the bunker say about her?”

 

“Ooo, I was just getting to the juicy part--this princess was General Hux's girlfriend.”

 

“She is--was Hux's girlfriend?   Oh, the poor girl.  I guess that was Hux's baby she lost.  No wonder they are keeping it off the official records.  He’s supposed to be a traitor now, haven’t you heard?”

 

“Tara, Armitage Hux was no traitor and you and I both know it.  But yeah, if Kylo Ren’s sister had a love affair with General Hux and got pregnant, it’s no wonder they want to keep it quiet.”

 

“I’m not sure I believe it.  Everyone knows that Ren hated Hux.  He would never have let his sister anywhere near Hux.”

 

“Oh, it’s true.  Supposedly, this princess sat by the general's bedside everyday while he recovered after the Starkiller.  Hux was terribly wounded and it just wouldn't heal.  He was in and out a bacta tank for months.  Everyone saw her walking the general up and down the hall for his rehab.  Apparently, they were very much in love.  Everyone knew it but Ren.” 

 

“Oh, that's so sad.  She and Hux are secret lovers and then she loses him and then her baby.   Wow . . . that’s just awful.”

 

“Yeah . . . it is.  I always liked General Hux.  I loved those speeches.”

 

“Me too.  So . . . how did she get hurt?  The records just say from a fall.”

 

“That's the best--er--worst part.  Hux didn't turn traitor like they're saying.  That’s a lie, Tara.  Hux tried to run away with his princess.  I guess maybe because she was pregnant?  Kylo Ren caught up to them and killed Hux.” 

 

“Wow.  But that sounds like him.  Ren hated Hux.  Oh, wait—don’t tell me Ren did this to his own sister?  Did Ren hurt her?” 

 

“No.  She fled after Hux was killed.  The guys who transferred her here said she was hiding in the Rim on Jakku.  They found her alone, wearing rags, and living in an old ship.”

 

“I don't blame her for hiding.  She was probably scared what Ren would do if he learned she was pregnant.  You know, given he had killed Hux already.  Are you sure all this is true?”

 

“Absolutely, Tara.”

 

“Poor girl.  Who's going to tell her about the baby?  Is it Smath?”

 

“No.  We're supposed to page the bridge when she wakes.  Kylo Ren wants to tell her

himself.” 

 

“Oh, geez.  Hasn't she suffered enough?”

 

Rey takes a deep and ragged breath as she stops listening.  Her baby girl is gone, and that’s all that she has really heard.  The baby must be dead from the fall, she surmises.  The medics who initially treated her had warned of this risk.  And it had come true.

 

Rey feels tears well up and start to meander down her cheeks.  Is she sad?  Is she relieved?  Is she scared?  She’s a little of everything right now.   The baby she hadn’t wanted had been lost just as she had begun reconciling herself to the idea of motherhood.  The accident had occurred just a day after Rey had learned for certain of her pregnancy.  Only minutes after she had decided to leave Jakku and to return to Kylo with her news.   And now, she wakes lucid for the first time in a week to learn of the baby’s death.  This has all happened so fast that neither her mind nor her emotions have caught up with the events. 

 

Her life feels very out of control. 

 

“May the Force be with you, baby,” Rey whispers as she reaches down to her belly.  Then she sniffs loudly and it draws the attention of the women. 

 

Tentatively, one pulls back the privacy curtain.  “Are you awake, my lady?”  Yes, they can see that she is.  “Let us help you sit up,” the other suggests as she steps forward.  “How do you feel?  Are you in pain?  Tara, hand her a tissue please.  And some water too.”

 

“No.  No, thank you.”  Rey waves away the tissue and their help as she swings her legs over the side of the gurney.  She must be healed, for she would never have been able to make that movement while injured.  Tentatively, Rey puts one foot down and then another.  Then she stands up as the two women look on warily, looking ready to catch her if she falls. 

 

But she doesn’t.  As Rey stands there, testing her balance, she asks blankly, “Where am I?”

 

“The medibay of the _Finalizer_ orbiting Coruscant,” comes the reply.  “We are paging Kylo Ren now.  Ren wants to speak with you.”  The woman who tells Rey this has such a sorrowful look to her face that Rey can tell she is expecting the worst.  And now, Rey is too.   She hasn’t seen Kylo since Hux had dragged her away from the bunker.  A lot has happened since then.  This baby is just the latest of many losses, Rey knows. 

 

“We’ll stay with you until he dismisses us,” one of the medics assures her as she gives Rey’s arm a quick, encouraging squeeze.   The woman is trying to comfort her, but the medics’ clear skittishness has Rey unnerved.  Is this just the normal fear that accompanies the mere mention of the erratic and fearsome Sith?  Or do they know something Rey doesn’t know?

 

Two minutes later, the masked man himself comes stalking into her room to loom over Rey standing naked beneath her voluminous hospital gown.   Rey takes a half step forward.  Part of her wants nothing more than to hurl herself into the safety of Kylo’s arms.  To cry her eyes out on his chest and then open her mind to his so that Kylo can see in her memories all that has transpired and she won’t have to talk about it.  But something about his body language stops her cold.  Even with his mask on, Rey can sense that there is a confrontation coming, and not comfort.

 

Kylo sees her teary face and draws the obvious conclusion.  “You already know.”

 

“Yes,” Rey answers simply.  She resists the urge to give the two gossipy medic women a resentful glance.   Blaming them might provoke Kylo to violence, Rey fears.  The two women are standing at rigid attention in the far corner of the room now that Kylo Ren is here.  They are doing their very best to be invisible. 

 

Rey looks down now and stammers out, “The baby is d-dead.”  

 

“Thanks to you,” comes Kylo’s instant and brutal rejoinder.  Rey glances past him at their audience and sees both women cringe at his words.

 

She turns away.  “Don’t start, Kylo.”  She’s not in the mood for some ugly scene before witnesses.  She is still so heartsick over Army and confused about how to feel about the loss of Snoke and the Skywalker twins.  And now she’s even more confused about how to feel about the loss of this baby.  Rey has had less than five minutes to process the news.  She can’t take Kylo’s drama just now.

 

“Smath tells me that you are fully recovered for the most part.  There is no permanent damage to you, at least.”  Rey winces at the potent anger behind his words.  The blame. 

 

She shakes her head and pleas again, “Don’t start.  Please don’t start with this now, Kylo.”   

 

But he’s undeterred.  Kylo rips off his mask to toss it on the bed she leans against.   His voice has a nasty tone she has only heard once before back on Kardura.  That’s how angry Kylo is.   “Rey, we are talking about this.  Now.”

 

“The baby is dead!  Let her rest in peace,” she whirls to face him.  Throwing up her hands in frustration.  “What’s left to talk about?”

 

“You can start by explaining what the fuck you were doing on Jakku while pregnant!” he explodes as only Kylo Ren can.  His face is contorted with wild emotion.  Rey senses waves of anger, despair and hurt pouring out from him in the Force.  Is this all for her and the baby?  Or is there more to this?  Rey isn’t sure as she watches Kylo rage at her.  It’s almost like a dam has burst and a tide of penned up emotion is flooding forth from the Sith.

 

“You never should have been there in the first place!   You should have been at Vader’s castle where none of this would have happened!  You would have been safe and that kid would be alive!  But instead, you insisted on Jakku!  Fucking Jakku!”

 

Reflexively, Rey is defensive and guilty.  Her voice is small and her shoulders hunched.  “I wanted to go home, you knew that.”  He had even once promised to take her back home.  Kylo knew how much Jakku had meant to her.

 

But apparently, he thinks that shouldn’t have mattered any longer.  “Jakku is not safe!  For anyone, let alone a pregnant woman!  And this time there was no excuse of a family to wait for.  There was nothing for you on Jakku but danger, Rey.”

 

“There was freedom!” she hollers back, her temper now flaring to match his.  She is indignant that Kylo can’t understand why Jakku was so important.  “I was Snoke’s prisoner daughter long enough, Kylo.  I wasn’t about to be your prisoner too.” 

 

“Prisoner?”  He is offended by this term.  “You are a Sith princess, Rey.  Pampered and protected and privileged in a way a prisoner never would be!  Had you come to the castle, you would have been treated much the same.”

 

Whatever.  She’s not going to argue the point.  Rey sighs and wipes at her eyes as she thinks of what might have been.  “I meant what I said in my message.  I was coming back, Kylo.  I was going to tell you about the baby.  But then the cable broke and . . .”

 

“And another dead Skywalker!" Kylo finishes for her.   It’s indiscreet but Kylo doesn’t seem to care because he is livid.  And rejected, she realizes.  Kylo is hurt and feeling rejected by all of this.  And feeling so alone, she senses as she gets the briefest flash of his unguarded mind in the Force.  "Every single one of us dies!” Kylo rasps out bitterly as he runs a hand through his hair.  Gods, he looks bad, Rey realizes.  Like he hasn’t slept in weeks.  “This Skywalker didn't even live long enough to be born . . . thanks to you . . . " 

 

"It was an accident!"

 

Kylo disagrees.  "There are no accidents for Force-users.  No accidents for Skywalkers."

 

"Yeah?"   Well, two can play at this blame game, Rey thinks.  Because she too is hurting and wants to lash out.  "Maybe you're right and it wasn't an accident.  Maybe it was the Force!  Tell me, Darth Ren, did you hear nothing Snoke taught you about balance?   About how the Force will strike back at you if you tip too far to one extreme?”

 

It’s not a rhetorical question, she’s waiting for an answer.  He scowls and gripes, “What are you saying?”

 

“First, you kill the last Jedi and then you start slaughtering innocents on Coruscant.  Killing your way to victory again like you did in the Mid Rim.  Like you did with the Starkiller.  So Dark you are, Kylo Ren!  Too Dark!  The Force will not sustain it.”  She eyes him resentfully as she gets to the point.  “Have you considered that maybe you are why this baby is dead?   That maybe the Force would not allow this child to live to follow in the footsteps of the monster Sith you aspire to be?"

 

Kylo looks dumbfounded and sincerely threatened by her words.  Clearly, this has never occurred to him.  "No."  He steps back and shakes his head solemnly.  "You’re wrong, Rey.  The Force is with the Skywalkers."

 

Rey rolls her eyes.  "The Hell it is!   Where was the Force when Army shot your mother to death?   Where was the Force to save your uncle?   The Force has failed to protect your family yet again.   And maybe, there’s a lesson there.”  Rey dares to speak heresy to the Sith:  “Kylo, has it ever occurred to you that the Skywalkers are the problem and not the solution?   That maybe four generations of this family is enough?”

 

His eyes flare wide at her words and then narrow.  “We are the Chosen Ones,” he growls at her, spouting the romantic prophesy he so fervently believes because he was raised on it first as a Jedi and later as a Sith.  “We are born to rule the galaxy and born to rule the Force.“

 

Rey ignores him.  “We get the holonet on Jakku, so I've followed your invasion.  I've seen your bloodbath.  How many people will be consumed by you and your family's wars?   The galaxy can't take another Skywalker--don't you see?   The Force wouldn't let the baby live to be born."

 

"That's not how the Force works," he scoffs.  Apparently, now that he’s head Sith, Kylo thinks he is the foremost authority on the Force. 

 

Rey begs to differ.  "That's how balance works!   That's how the Force rights itself slowly over time.  It's a rough justice, our Master always said.  When the tide turns, it is not always fair and it’s often abrupt.  But it matters.  Open your eyes, Kylo!"

 

He stares at her blinking and silent for a moment.  Then, he is petulant.  "Suppose you're right--so what?  There is no one left in the Light!  I have no peers left to challenge me," he boasts. 

 

"There is me."

 

Her words stop him cold.  His mood changes yet again in an instant.  As usual, it’s hard to keep up with this Sith’s quicksilver emotions.  He looks at her incredulously now, searching her face with alarmed eyes.  "Are really we back to this?  Are you my enemy, Rey?   I thought we were past this."  He steps forward now to lay hands on her shoulders.    “I thought you were mine.  After that night in the bunker, I thought you were mine, Rey—“

 

“You mean the night Snoke gave me to you??” Rey shrugs him off angrily as she recalls the raunchy, passionate night their baby had been conceived.  All along, she has been manipulated by the Sith for their own ends, Rey realizes.  Kylo has an angle and a motive for everything, including sex.  Maybe Darth Plagueis had too.  She wonders now whether the old Muun had known she might conceive that night.  Had another Skywalker been his plan all along?  “Army told me about your reward--“ 

 

“I didn’t force you,” Kylo overrides as he grabs for her again.  She’s in his arms now as he holds her close to whisper low in her ear.    “I would never force you.”  His voice is husky and intimate.  Rey feels a shiver down her spine despite her anger.  Because that’s how unsettled she gets when Kylo is this close.  “I remember that night,” he rasps, his breath on her cheek.  “I live for that night.   For you and for your Light.”

 

“Stop it, Kylo,” she struggles against him.  Then she gestures behind him to their forgotten onlookers.   The two women medics have already seen and heard far too much as it is. 

 

"Leave us," Kylo belatedly barks at them and they flee the room.   But he keeps pressing with Rey.  “I need you.  Now more than ever, I need you, Rey.  Can’t you see how much I need you?”  Kylo has moved on from blaming her about the baby and now it’s all about him and his needs.  “I don’t want to be alone.  Be with me, Rey.  Be might Light.  Be my wife—“

 

“Stop it!” Rey succeeds in pushing him back.  She raises a weary hand to her temple and steadies herself.  “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this, Kylo.  Not anymore.  I just can’t.”

 

“What do you mean?” he demands.

 

“This—“ she gestures back and forth to them.  “Us!  I can’t do this, Kylo.  I can’t be with you,” Rey wails as she succumbs fully to tears.  “Whatever you think we are, whatever you want us to be, it will never work!”  And now there’s no baby to guilt Rey into trying to make it work.  There’s just needy, overbearing Kylo being his usual dramatic self and Rey is over all of his selfishness and casual cruelty.  Me, me, me . . . he wants, he needs, he feels.  Well, whatever.  Rey is not in the mood for placating him right now.  She’s newly woken up from a horrible injury to learn of her miscarriage and she’s worried about herself now and not him.  It’s an old lesson from Jakku:  take care of yourself first before you look to others. 

 

Rey is ugly crying now, a sniffing, teary, hiccupping mess.  “Look, I’m s-sorry for all that has h-happened.  Sorry for Snoke and for your uncle and for your mother and . . .”

 

“For Army Hux?” Kylo sneers.  Rey looks away.  But Kylo must see that he has scored a hit because he won’t let it go.  Now that he’s found something new to fight about, he latches on.  "Did you love him?"

 

"What does it matter now?" Rey wipes at her eyes.  What does any of this matter now?

 

"It matters!  Did you love Hux?" Kylo demands loudly.  “Answer me!  Would you love me if I were Army Hux??”

 

Rey glares back at him.  "I don't know what love is.  No one has ever loved me."  And, damn, how it hurts to say those words aloud.  A fresh batch of tears starts to fall.  "Army tried to tell me that he loved me.  But I cut him off . . . I wish I hadn't done that . . . "

 

"I will love you, but you won't let me!  You keep pushing me away!" Kylo howls.   He raises his hands in frustration and then drops them in disgust.  "You gave your body to me but your heart to him!  Don’t think I don’t know that, Rey!"  His face looks so pained as he looks down on her.  "You leave me first for the hope of your family on Jakku.  Then you leave me for Skywalker and the Resistance.  Next, you cheat on me with Hux and run away to Jakku--"

 

"I never--"

 

"Oh, I know you never slept with him.  But you loved him.  And that’s worse!"  He waves a gloved finger under her nose.  "You were supposed to love me!   To be with me!   Our Master promised you to me!"  He is shouting now and it doesn't matter that they are alone.  The entire _Finalizer_ medibay can surely hear him.  “I was the one who found you!  The Force brought you to me!”

 

Me, me, me.  It’s more of the same from the petulant, selfish Sith.  This man is exhausting.  “Stop it, Kylo—“

 

“I am your Master now,” he declares.  Suddenly, he’s every bit the autocrat Sith the galaxy fears and not the vulnerable, romantic private man she knows.  “You will go to Vader’s castle.  You will wait for me there.  And when this war is over, we will marry and I will teach you the ways of the Force.“

 

Rey gapes at this high-handed presumption.  First he blames her, then he makes a pass at her, and now he’s ordering her about.   How does he think he can get away with this?   Because he is Sith, Rey realizes.  Kylo Ren does and says anything without impunity.  That’s what it means to be Sith.  You can do whatever you want and there are no consequences.  Because once you hold the power, you make the rules.  And the little people of the galaxy like scavenger Rey are supposed to stand there and take it.

 

Rey has heard enough.   She bursts from the room.  Stumbling into the crowded but silent public area of the _Finalizer_ 's shipboard hospital.  Everyone has been listening and now everyone is turned to look at her.  Standing there with tears and hair streaming, barefoot in her hospital gown.  And an angry unmasked Kylo Ren hot on her heels. 

 

She whirls and her voice is low and intense.  “You are so fucked up, Kylo!  You and your entire family are fucked up!  And you are fucking up the galaxy with you!   I won’t be a part of this.”

 

Kylo ignores her words like he ignores their large audience.  He stares her down with the intensity only a Sith can muster.  "His last words were of you.  To find you and to pass on the Force and find balance.  Because you and I are the future of the Force."

 

"The Force!  It's always the Force with you Skywalkers," she complains in disgust.  Kylo is no different from the rest.  Romantic dreamers all.  Well, Rey is no romantic.   She's a realist.  And looking at the angry Sith man-child who wants to rule her and rule the galaxy, she has had enough.  “Well, I quit this whole Sith princess business.  I quit the Force and I quit you, Kylo Ren!  We’re through!”

 

“What??” He blinks at her in shock.  “You are a Palpatine and a Force-user, Rey.  You can’t quit who you are,” he scoffs. 

 

“Why not?  You did, Jedi Ben Skywalker Solo,” Rey delivers a low blow.  She’s from Jakku and she’s not above fighting dirty.  “Or was it Ben Organa Solo?  I forget.”

 

“You don’t get to quit the Sith,” he warns before adding, “I need you, Rey.  The galaxy needs you too.”  He looks especially exasperated now.  “Stop pushing me away!  You push people away—do you see that?  You lived feral in an AT-AT so long that you keep people at a distance out of habit—“

 

“Oh, and you're some sort of people person, Kylo Ren?  Is that it?”

 

His retort is a sneer.  “I forget--you don't need anyone but the desert, do you?”

 

“Oh, stop your whining, Kylo!  You always said you wanted to be as strong as Darth Vader.  Well, congratulations because now you are.”  Her sarcasm turns ugly and it’s very unlike Rey.  But the stress of the situation is overwhelming her now.  She’s every bit as reckless, angry and hurtful now as Kylo.  Every bit as Dark.  “Grandpa Vader would be so proud.   You're just as much a mass murderer as he was.  Hosnia stacks up well next to Alderaan any day--"

 

"Rey,"  Kylo's voice has a dangerous edge to it.  "Darth Vader was not a mass murderer and I am not the villain in this war--"

 

"Tell that to Coruscant, Darth Ren!  Tell that to Hosnia!   This is what you wanted all along, right?   Well, enjoy it because--"

 

"Princess."   The voice is quiet but carries, and its cultured inflection is instantly recognizable.  Rey whirls to find old Milo hovering over her shoulder.   He is the Supreme Leader's personal representative to this crowd, but Rey knows him as a longtime henchman for the Sith.  He’s come to fix things like he usually does.

 

“Milo,” she whispers.  And her face floods with shame.  Something about old Milo’s staunch dignity and unwavering devotion to the Skywalker clan makes Rey ashamed to be caught like this.  Standing barefoot in a hospital gown screaming hysterically before dozens of onlookers about very personal matters of the Sith.

 

But Milo’s countenance is kindly as ever as he nods at her.   "Princess, you are in shock from your ordeal and not yet recovered from your injuries.   Let me help you back to your room, my lady.  We should get you off your feet.  You need rest."  His voice is soothing to tamp down the aggrieved emotion of the moment.   Part of Rey is grateful for his interruption and the reprieve it brings.  This argument has fast spiraled out of control and Rey doesn't know where it is headed.

 

She doesn’t protest as Milo takes her hand and begins to lead her away.  But she doesn’t get far.  Rey takes maybe four steps before glowering Kylo freezes her in the Force.   Because whereas Milo's efforts to diffuse the confrontation are tactful verbal maneuvers, Kylo defaults to his usual blunt aggression.  When the Sith reaches her side, he waves a hand before her face.  Rey instantly slumps into his strong arms as everything goes black. 


	46. Chapter 46

Rey never makes it to Mustafar castle even though the official flight plan for the First Order shuttle she's on so states.   Instead, Rey is dropped off after an unscheduled detour to an undisclosed location before Milo continues on to Vader's refuge.   Only five people are the wiser that Snoke's princess daughter is not in residence on the lava world. 

 

"Daaaaddy!  Daddy!  Maybe Daddy is here!"  

 

Rey hears the shouts of many excited children as the shuttle ramp lowers.  Little human faces of all shapes and sizes rush up to have a look.  They are disappointed when she and Milo walk down the ramp following the stormtroopers.  The children now fall into a bewildered silence and step back.  Uncertain what’s coming next.

 

Behind the children is a collection of adults, most of them women, with a few men sprinkled in.  From among the crowd a pretty, blonde woman steps forward.  She is white faced and grim.  "Girls!" she calls sharply and two little blonde replicas rush to her side.  The woman hands the toddler she is carrying to a friend who quickly leads all three little girls away.  The blonde woman now smooths her hands over her rumpled shift dress.  Then she takes a fortifying breath, squares her shoulders, and steps forward to greet Milo.   Her voice is composed and cultured and her manner very grave.  She is trembling, Rey sees.

 

"We are honored to have our Supreme Leader's representative visit our humble compound.   Welcome."

 

"Lady Flick," Milo smiles and inclines his head.  "All is well.  There is no cause for alarm."

 

The blonde woman nods but looks unconvinced.  Just then Nestor Ren quickly descends the ramp and the blonde woman appears visibly relieved.   Like she might faint on the spot relieved.  The woman now looks from her husband to Milo and back again, completely ignoring Rey standing there off to the side in a borrowed First Order officer uniform and ponytail. 

 

"Cesi, we have one more to add to our household," Nestor begins, gesturing to herself.  "This is Rey.  She will be staying with our family indefinitely.”  He completes the introductions.  “Rey, this is my wife Cessily Flick.”

 

The blonde woman nods and looks her over.    This First Order wife is looking for a rank insignia, Rey realizes.  "Welcome to our home, L-Lieutenant?" she hazards a guess with a questioning look on her face. 

 

Milo is the one to correct her.  "Rey is a civilian, Lady Flick.   She is very recently recovered from significant injuries.  She requires rest and quiet."

 

"That means no putting her to work, Cesi," Nestor says with a teasing, knowing look that doesn’t seem to reassure his bewildered, still suspicious wife.

 

“Yes, of course,” Lady Flick says in dignified formal tones as she turns to Rey.  “We welcome you as our guest, Rey.”

 

Well aware of the crowd they have as an audience, Milo steps forward to intone under his breath for only the four of them to hear.   "As wife to the Second Knight of Ren and daughter to an esteemed ally of the Cause, I know that our Supreme Leader can count on your utmost discretion."

 

Rey watches as the blonde woman looks again to her husband who nods his encouragement.  “Of course,” the woman whispers her agreement.  Then she looks somewhat fearfully to Rey.  “Welcome,” she repeats.  This time with a wary, somewhat forced smile.

 

And that is how Rey of Jakku, Princess of the Sith, ostensibly becomes an anonymous war refugee. 

 

The First Order has temporary living compounds for displaced families of its personnel and allies dotted across the Rim.  Most compounds are located adjacent to existing military bases.  But not this one, Rey learns. The Flick family lives on one of the smaller compounds on an Inner Rim world.   It's a shorter distance for Daddy to come visit, Lady Flick explains, and it's very low profile like Nestor wanted.  But most of all, it is very quiet and very boring.  Nothing ever happens here unless I organize it, Cesi Flick says with a sigh.  There are much nicer, much larger compounds for important officers.  Not like this dump, Nestor’s wife gripes privately.  But then two minutes later, she is off planning another potluck dinner for next weekend.  Cesi grumbles plenty, but Rey soon learns that it’s never in front of anyone but her.   Outwardly, Lady Flick is nothing but upbeat and patriotic. 

 

And that’s fitting because in the First Order, the chain of command is everything.  As the Second Knight of Ren, Nestor Flick far outranks the other officers and officials whose families live here.  It makes Cesi somewhat of a de facto leader among the wives on the compound.  But it is Lady Flick herself who is the reason for her queen bee social status.  Her effortless confidence and Coruscant lifestyle both impress and intimidate the other junior officers' wives.  And her natural knack for organizing everything from playdates to picnics makes her the undisputed social maven of the compound.  Cesi Flick is also something of a mother hen to the compound’s mostly young families.  The bleary eyed new mother with the teething four-month-old comes by to ask for advice.  So does the frustrated mom of a three-year-old who refuses to potty train.   Thanks to Cesi Flick’s take charge attitude, she is regarded by everyone as an authority figure and tastemaker.  And that’s how Lady Flick likes it.

 

Whether it's family dinners or birthday parties, it’s clear that Cesi sets high standards for herself and everyone else.  But it's also clear that she's used to doing it with a lot more help.  Back home, I had a full-time housekeeper and a part-time nanny and two domestic droids.  My house was spotless, she sighs, as she nudges at a sticky juice stain on the floor with her foot.  Spotless is not how Rey would describe the shabby pre-fab housing the Flick family lives in now.   There are toys strewn from one end of the house to the other.  And there is a constant trail of clothes on the floor and a pile of discarded sippy cups in the sink.  No doubt Lady Flick made all this domesticity look effortless back on Coruscant to impress her mommy friends at the exclusive private school her girls attend.  But here in a makeshift compound full of displaced persons, it's a lot of work.  Many days Rey silently wonders why she even cares.  Except, maybe Type A Cesi Flick can’t not care.

 

War shortages keep cramping Lady Flick's style, even if finances are not a barrier.  I can't make this salad without fresh arugula, she complains, but the grocer here has never even heard of arugula.   Here my girls eat sugar, carbs and gluten and Gods' know what else, she grumbles.  It's one nasty casserole after another and without the daily workouts with my trainer I have gotten so fat.  I have to wear these yoga pants because nothing else fits.  If my friends could see me now, they would laugh.  Rey listens and says nothing.  Fat is good, as far as she is concerned.  Because it's much better than the alternative.   But she soon understands that fat is about the worst thing you can be in Cesi Flick’s social strata.

 

There are three Flick girls, spaced two years apart.  The oldest is six years old and a little version of her mother.  Bossy and smart.  The middle girl is quiet and introverted but very stubborn.  The baby is two and into everything all of the time.  Cesi’s father the retired Senator Ono rounds out the Flick household.  The Senator is a mostly remote figure who spends his days behind a closed door on com calls plotting the future of postwar galactic politics.  The Senator--or Grandpappy as the children call him--comes and goes on First Order shuttles that appear at least once a week to ferry him to secret meetings at undisclosed locations.  He is habitually above the fray of the household.  The Senator gamely steps over the toys and ignores the screaming.  Mostly, Rey suspects, it's because Grandpappy knows better than to tread on his daughter's turf.  Because even when Cesi is frustrated and telling her sobbing two-year-old to be quiet and take a nap, she's got it under control.  

 

For the first week, the Flick household treats Rey like a houseguest.  But by the second week, all that standoffish politeness falls by the wayside.  And by the third week, Rey is wiping noses and wiping bottoms side by side with Cesi.  Pitching in to help with the house and the children.  

 

It is strange, Rey thinks, and it is wonderful.  All at the same time.  For family life is different from what the holonet has led Rey to expect.  It's far louder and messier, for starters.  But it's also frenetic and unfocused.  A little girl's voice calls for Mommy every five minutes.  Mommy come help, Mommy I can’t find my toy, Mommy she hit me, Mommy I'm hurt, Mommy I need to potty, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.   And you have to drop everything to answer a call for Mommy because it only gets more incessant and louder if you don't.   Rey begins to marvel at what Cesi Flick gets accomplished with all the interruptions.   But oftentimes, things get half done and languish unfinished.   There's a load of laundry on the countertop partially folded and not put up.   There are dishes still in the sink and the dishwasher is half full.   Rey quickly realizes that motherhood is hard in ways they never show on the holonet.  There’s nothing idle about being a housewife with three kids.

 

The boisterous Flick house is the opposite of Rey's meager, lonely existence on Jakku.  Here, there are people everywhere in close quarters and privacy is hard to come by.  And while there are shortages of supplies, no one wants for anything.   Rey could eat for a week on the amount of food that Cesi throws out uneaten from the kids.  And when there is any sort of problem, Cesi’s default solution is to throw money at it.  Kids are bored with their toys?  She buys more.  The girls broke something?  She buys a new one.  Credits seems to slip through her fingers and Cesi Flick never seems to care.  Of course, there wouldn't be such a mess lying about if there weren't so many possessions.  Things are tidy when you have very little, unlike this family that has more than their share.  And that's only the half of it, because the Flicks haven't been here very long and they aren't even fully unpacked.   Cesi tells Rey that all of their truly valuable possessions and her good clothes are stashed at her brother's house for safekeeping. 

 

Outsider orphan Rey watches it all in fascination.  The fights between siblings that start with a bite, progress to tears, and then end with a hug.  The silliness and constant competition.  The in-your-face, tugging at your clothes, 'carry me' persistence of children.  This is what Rey missed out on growing up.  And this is what Rey will miss out on now that her baby is dead.  Life is just inalterably different now that her child is lost.  And living with the Flick family brings that home to Rey in a way she had never understood before. 

 

Rey has little experience with children, so life with the Flicks is a like a baptism by fire.  The middle Flick girl takes an instant liking to her.  The kid is a wanderer.  If you take your eye off her for a minute, the quietly determined four-year-old disappears.  Out a door, down the street, away from the playground.  Wherever she goes, it’s always away from where everyone else is gathered.  It drives her mother crazy, but Rey sort of gets it.  The little girl tends to get lost in the shuffle so she strikes out on her own.  One night, she sneaks into Rey's room and climbs into bed.  It becomes a regular habit.  This sensitive little girl needs attention but doesn't know how to ask for it.  

 

Once the kids are in bed--an hour-long process unto itself--Cesi Flick disappears to the back patio with a drink and a cigarette.  It doesn't take Rey long to realize that this is a nightly ritual.  Part of the pull and push of a mother wanting her children close, but also craving space and quiet.   Rey ventures out there one night early on.  And that’s when she learns that Cesi Flick is far more aware of things than she lets on.  

 

Cesi looks up as Rey walks out.  Instantly, she starts making excuses.  “I don't really smoke.  I just do it now and then.  And only one cigarette a day.  It's a disgusting, trashy habit and it's bad for your skin and your teeth,” Cesi recites very mom-like as she nonetheless takes another long drag on her cigarette.  And then another.  “Plus, it's very Outer Rim.”  She sighs and then cringes. “I really have gone native.”  Then, completely undercutting her words of warning, Cesi offers Rey a cigarette. 

 

Rey declines but asks, “Are you okay?”  Rey has never seen this new beleaguered side of the relentlessly upbeat Cesi. 

“Yeah, I'm fine.  I'm just feeling sorry for myself tonight.  Which is ridiculous, I know.  But the kids are driving me nuts, I look like Hell, and I haven't had a manicure in over two months.”  She shoots Rey a sideways glance.  “Did you watch the newsfeed today?   This occupation of Coruscant is worse than the Starkiller.  And here I am, worried about whether my wedding china is broken and pissed that I am missing my chance to chair the preschool auction this year.  Meanwhile, Nestor is off burning down our home world with your man.”

 

Rey looks over at this remark and Cesi pins her a pointed look. "You are Kylo's girl, aren't you?   The orphan from Jakku who lived in the walker, right?"

 

Rey blinks at this terse description but softly admits, “Yes.  That's me.”

 

"I thought so.   So . . . you're the hidden desert princess."  Cesi digests this a moment, nodding approvingly at Rey.  "Good for you.  Kylo needs a girl.  Probably now more than ever."

 

Is she Kylo's girl?   Rey is not sure.  They didn’t exactly part on good terms.  The last time she saw Kylo, she had been screaming at him before he knocked her out with the Force.  "What gave me away?" curious Rey asks.

 

"Milo, mostly.   He doesn't get involved in just anything.  Nestor says that old guy only works for the Sith on personal business.  So when he wasn’t here to inform me that Nestor was dead, then it had to be something private for the Leader or for Ren." 

 

“Kylo and I . . . we aren’t together . . . ” Rey begins and then falters.  She doesn’t really want to explain the whole tale just yet.

 

Nestor’s wife must see her hesitancy.  “It’s alright, Rey.  You don’t owe me any explanations.  And you are very welcome here.  Whether you are Kylo’s girl or not.”

 

Cesi takes another long drag on her smoke.  "You know, I knew him growing up," she reveals.  "That was back when the New Republic had its capital on Coruscant.   Kylo’s mother was in the Senate back then when my father was Vice Chancellor.  Kylo and I went to the same school that a lot of the Senators’ kids attended.  He was Ben Solo back then.  I'm thirty-six, so he was a few years behind me in my brother's class."

 

“What was he like?”  Rey is curious.  She has heard Luke Skywalker’s and Snoke's version of Kylo's youth.  Now, she wants to hear Cesi's.  

 

Her hostess thinks a long moment before she answers truthfully.  "He was a loner even back then.  He was the prince of Alderaan, the son of Rebellion heroes, and the son of one of the most famous women in the galaxy.   Everyone knew who he was but no one liked him."

 

“Why not?"

 

"He kept to himself.  He wasn't exactly introverted, just intense.   No one picked on him because he would beat the crap out of anyone who tried.  Kylo Ren had anger issues even back then.  He wasn’t bullied so much as ignored.”  Cesi stops to think a moment before adding, “I don’t think he had any friends.  He never did any sports or activities or stuff like that.  I think mostly he studied.  He was a nerdy kid.”

 

That all sounds about right to Rey, unfortunately.   And it explains a lot. 

 

“I think he was in middle school when his mother shipped him off to become a Jedi.  Years later when we heard the news about what happened at the Jedi Academy, I knew Ben was involved.  If there ever was a kid that would turn into a school shooter, it was Ben Solo," Cesi says matter of fact.

 

"You don't like him," Rey observes.

 

Cesi shakes her head and explains.  "It's more that I don't know him.  Few people really know Kylo Ren.  But he's been Nestor's best friend and boss for years now and my husband thinks the world of him.  So he’s got that going for him.  How did you meet him?”  The way Cesi asks this question tells Rey that she has been dying to ask.

 

“Kylo came to Jakku to look at the battlefield.  I showed him around.  I knew he was First Order but I didn't know who he really was at first.  He kept coming back.  And one day, he pulled his sword to save me from slavers and the secret was out.  He was Kylo Ren.”

 

“Yeah, Kylo goes out incognito with Nestor sometimes,” Cesi tells her.  “Mostly to party with the other knights.  Nestor thinks I don’t know, but I do.”  She looks over at Rey.  “So you guys just hung out on Jakku together?  Was that it?”

 

“Yeah.  Basically.”  It’s not very exciting or romantic, Rey realizes.    “How did you meet Nestor?”

 

Cesi smiles as she tells the tale.  “There was an old First Order general who used to come secretly meet with my father years back.  Nestor was the general's bodyguard.  I was going to Coruscant University at the time and still living at home.  So when the general met with my father at home, Nestor would pass the time flirting with me.”  

 

“Was it love at first sight?” Rey asks, intrigued.  Because this sounds like a great story.

 

“Oh, not at all,” her hostess admits.  “At first, I wasn’t interested.  To be honest, it never even occurred to me to think of Nestor in that way.  He wasn't like any of the guys I knew from my world.  I dated graduate students and junior bankers and lawyers.  You know--up and coming professional types with the right connections.  They take you to fancy restaurants and escort you to black tie benefit parties their moms chair.   They weren't big military guys with a buzzcut and First Order tattoos on their biceps.  I dated guys who wanted to talk about politics, literature and wine.  But I married a guy who likes pod racing, the Empire and beer.”

 

“Because opposites attract?” Rey teases gently.  In the few weeks she has been here, she’s starting to like and admire Cesi Flick.  There is more substance to this woman than you see at first glance.

 

“Maybe,” Cesi concedes.  “But it was more that Nestor is a guy who gets things done.  He rolls up his sleeves and makes things happen instead of just talking about things.  He commits to things and to people.  I liked that, Rey.  In the world I grew up in, people were always looking for a better deal.  Switching jobs, switching spouses, swapping apartments and lives.  Coruscant is very competitive about everything in life.  Nestor never bought into all that.  Not like I did.”  Cesi looks a bit sheepish now.  “I guess he’s more confident than I am.  Or he just cares less what other people think.  Nestor is what he is.”

 

Rey thinks back to the burly, hulking guy who had once lectured her about being good enough for Kylo.   Loyal Nestor had had been more than willing to speak his mind.    

 

“Nestor's family are low level Imperial Exiles from the Rim.  He never went to college, he went to one of the Leader’s secret military academies, and then off to war.   He wanted to work in intelligence but Nestor's not spy material.”  Cesi grins over at Rey now, clearly thinking of the striking figure her muscle-bound husband cuts.  “My husband couldn't blend into a crowd if he tried.  He ended up a Knight soon after we started dating.  Nestor and Kylo are the only original Knights left now.  The rest are dead.”

 

Speaking aloud of death makes Cesi blanch.  Rey watches as she takes a loud gulp of her drink and another long drag on her cigarette.  “My father warned me I might end up a camp follower in the Rim if married Nestor.  It took ten years, but he was right in the end.  Here I am with three kids on a crappy compound shopping at the First Order PX.  But at least I’m not a widow . . . yet.”

 

Cesi looks embarrassed now and it’s very unlike her.  “Look, I'm sorry that I’m such a lousy hostess, but I’m a little stressed.  It's hard right now.  We're living here in the middle of nowhere and my home on Coruscant might be gone for all I know.” She shakes her head sadly.  “We had a classic eight on the upper eastside of the Upper Level in a pre-Clone Wars co-op building.  Our neighbors were only the best families.  I had just renovated the kitchen.”  Cesi laughs at herself a little ruefully for her venting.  “Rey, I agonized so much about those flippin’ handmade drawpulls for the kitchen cabinets, but now I'm worried if my friends and neighbors are still alive.”

 

She sighs and keeps talking.   “Most of my friends are going to hate me now that they know we are a First Order family.   But at least we won't have to live a lie any longer.  Everyone back home thinks Nestor works for a security firm as a consultant.  Lots of former military guys do that, so it's believable.  And it explains why he can't talk much about his job.  Of course, my friends all think Nestor was New Republic military.   No one knew he is First Order.”  Cesi takes another long drag on her cigarette.  “Everyone thought I married down when I married Nestor.  Wait until they find out who he really is . . . if he lives, that is.” 

 

“I hate this war,” Rey says sincerely. 

 

Cesi agrees.  It might be the only thing Rey of Jakku has in common with Lady Flick, the Coruscant sophisticate.   “I just want it to be over.  And I want out of here.  I mean, it's not like people are shooting at us and we're stuck in a war zone.  These are Core world problems, I guess.  Upper Level Core problems,” she amends with a guilty look.  “Look, I’m whining, I know.  I should just check my privilege, huh?”

 

“No,” Rey responds thoughtfully.  “You get to complain like everyone else.  Just because your problems are different, doesn't make them any less hard to manage.  I used to think that if somehow I could have enough food and water, then everything would be easy.  It turns out that wasn't the case.  Things just got more complicated in different ways.”

 

“I guess that puts things in perspective,” Cesi admits.  “Because we have never starved.”  She looks away now as she adds quietly, “Rey, if the Order loses, I'll be a widow and a pariah and Grandpappy will be shot.  Nestor has money tucked away in three separate locations for us, so we’ll be fine financially.   But the girls and I will have lost everything that matters.  People are what matters.  You can’t replace your family.”

 

“I never had a family,” Rey says softly.

 

“You have Kylo.”

 

“Not really,” Rey confesses.  “Not anymore.”  She looks away.  “I think we’ve broken up for good this time.  It’s probably for the best,” she encourages herself.  “Kylo and I . . . we’re not meant to be . . . “

 

Cesi raises her eyebrows and looks at Rey expectantly.  So she keeps going.  “I mean, there was a time when I thought we could really be something but that was before the war heated up and before things got so complicated.”  Rey is rambling now because she’s been thinking nonstop about Kylo Ren since she got here.  “He’s so demanding and he moves so fast and I can’t be all the things he wants me to be . . . he’s just too much sometimes, you know?  He wants to rule the galaxy, to rule the Force, and to rule me too. . . so, we’re broken up now . . . I think . . . I’m not sure . . . “  Miserable Rey looks away.

 

“Then why are you here?” Cesi asks plainly.

 

Why indeed?  Rey wonders that herself sometimes.  “Because Kylo is very controlling,” she gripes to her hostess.   

 

"Yeah . . . I could see that,” Cesi nods.  “He's probably the kind of guy you can't break up with.  He has to dump you in his own mind for it to make sense.   His ego won't allow it otherwise.  It’s either that or . . .”

 

“Or?” Rey echoes.

 

“Maybe he still cares.  And he’s not ready for it to be over.”

 

Rey makes a face.  “My living here was a compromise your husband talked Kylo into.  Kylo wanted to lock me away in Vader’s castle.  That was his plan all along.  But I refused.”  Rey sighs.  “He blames me.”

 

“For what?” Cesi keeps pressing for information.

 

Rey decides to tell the truth.  This woman probably knows it anyway from her husband.  “Because I stayed on Jakku even though I was pregnant.  Kylo only found out when I lost the baby.  He is very angry about the b-baby.”  Rey stumbles over her words as she feels tears suddenly flood her vision.  She’s still struggling to understand what it means to have lost her baby.  And now, it seems, she has lost Kylo too.   

 

Cesi is at her side and instantly sincerely sympathetic.  “I’m sorry, Rey.”

 

Rey just nods.  She doesn’t trust herself to form words just now. 

 

“So there were never any significant injuries like Milo said?” Cesi doesn’t miss a beat.

 

“No, I was injured.  That’s how I lost the b-baby,” Rey admits as she brushes back tears.  Then she adds, “Kylo blames me.  He . . . uh . . . might be right . . . ”

 

Cesi is silent a moment.  Her voice is sad and slow as she reveals, “Nestor and I lost our first child.  I was far into my second trimester and everything was normal.  I caught a mild virus that lasted a few days and thought nothing of it.  But when I was at my regular appointment later that week, the baby was dead.  I got a mild version of the virus because it attacked the child instead.”  Her voice trails off before she begins again.  This time Cesi Flick too is blinking back tears.  “No one ever talks about miscarriage.   They just pretend it never happened.  Look at me,” she wipes at her eyes.  “That was over eight years ago and I have three kids now.  I am so lucky in so many ways.  But it still hurts.”  She gives Rey a wavering, sad smile.  “We were so excited.  It was a boy.  Nestor has always wanted a boy.”

 

The two women exchange sympathetic glances.  Then Rey looks away.  “It might be for the best.  Kylo and I can’t get along.  And I would have been a lousy mother anyway.”

 

“What makes you say that?  You're great with the girls.  They love you, Rey.”

 

“I can't remember my parents,” Rey confides.  “I grew up alone.  I don’t know how to be a mom.” 

 

Cesi digests this news for a moment.  “You might be better off as a mom that way.  More and more, I find myself becoming my mother.   It's a little scary when her words come out of my mouth.   It makes me feel old.  Like my childhood is repeating itself for my girls.”

 

“Is that bad?” Rey asks.

 

Cesi shrugs.  “No.  But it freaks me out now and then seeing how the past repeats itself in little ways.”  She takes another drink and reveals, “Nestor wants to try one more time for a boy.  The medics now have ways to pretty much guarantee it will happen.  But I told him no.  Rey, I can’t be a widow on my own with four kids.  Three is hard enough as it is.  Maybe I’ll do it when the war is over, if I’m not too old by then.”

 

“Kylo always said we would be together when the war was over,” Rey confides a secret of her own.  “But instead the war is the thing that’s tearing us apart.”

 

Cesi puts out her cigarette now.  She gives Rey a long understanding look.  “War changes everything, Rey.  It all seemed so far away when it was just pictures on the holonet of other people’s suffering.  But it’s very real to me now.  And all this change is hard.  Not just for the kids but for me too.  I don’t do change well, Rey,” Lady Flick admits.   

 

“I don’t think anyone does change well.”  Rey includes herself in that statement.  Because it has been a long, strange road from Jakku to the Resistance to the First Order and back again.    

 

“So are you going to stick it out with Kylo?”  Cesi wants to know.  “He might rule it all, you know.  A lot of girls wouldn't mind being the wife of the most powerful man in the galaxy.” 

 

Rey shakes her head dismissively.  “I was never in it for that.”

 

“Then what do you want?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Aww, come on, Rey.  Every girl wants something out of life.”

 

Rey thinks a moment.  “I used to think finding my family was what I wanted.  But they are dead.  Now I think I might want a family of my own.  But it’s too late because my baby’s dead.   So I don’t know what I want anymore.”

 

Cesi lights up a new cigarette for herself and polishes off what’s left of her drink.  “I’m getting another.  Do you want one?”

 

 “Yeah,” Rey agrees.  That’s a simple question with a simple answer.  Unlike the rest of her life.


	47. Chapter 47

It’s the end of another successful raid on Coruscant.  This time, the First Order has swept the University District clear of insurgents.  All those student dormitories and lecture halls have been a natural breeding ground for left-wing Resistance sympathizers and organizers.  But not any longer, Kylo thinks with grim satisfaction.  He had brought all the knights down to the surface with him today.  It had been like old times.  Like back in the day when they were fighting house to house in the early days of the Mid Rim campaign.  Only this time, the battleground had been the famed Coruscant University campus.  The enemy had been a bunch of impressionable college students with lofty ideals and guns they didn’t know how to use. 

 

It had been easy.

 

As a group, he and the knights troop onto his waiting shuttle for the return trip to the _Finalizer_.  Now that the day is won, the backslapping begins.  Kylo always gets more than his share since he’s the boss.  But today he had shown off some of his most impressive moves and Force tricks.  That had not gone unnoticed.  It provokes some good-natured grumbling.

 

“Next time, save some for the rest of us, Kylo.”

 

“Yeah . . . let some of us get a little glory too.

 

“I didn’t know you could freeze whole groups of people.  I hope the embed cameras got that on tape.  That will make the holonet highlight reel tonight for sure.”

 

Nestor brings up the rear of the knights.  He crests the top of the shuttle ramp in time to watch the last of the high fives.  Nestor looks around a moment at his relaxed and joking brothers in arms.  Then, he does something highly unusual.  Nestor asserts rank and barks, "Everyone in the back but me and the boss. Now!"

 

Kylo raises an eyebrow but waits in silence for the other Ren men to shuffle into the rear of the shuttle.  When they are out of earshot, Nestor puts down his gun and speaks his mind.

 

"What the fuck are you doing, Kylo?" His friend looks as annoyed as he sounds.  "You don't need to be on the front lines any longer taking stupid risks.  What happens if you get killed?   Who runs the Order then?  There's no Apprentice waiting in the wings," Nestor points out.  "It will be a bloodbath among the generals and your knights for who emerges as leader in some series of backroom deals and executions.   And while that's going on, the Mid Rim and the Core will slip away again.”

 

Kylo brushes off his friend’s concern.  “Relax.  No one even came close to hitting me today,” he brags.  And it’s true.  Those college kids fight more effectively with their rhetoric than with actual weapons. 

 

Nestor is undeterred.  “Kylo, if you die then much of what we have worked for will be lost.  And a lot of people will have died in vain.  Think about that for a moment."

 

His friend glares at him long and hard and Kylo has to acknowledge his point.  Because if Snoke can die, then he can die.  "I guess we need some succession planning," Kylo grumbles as he sinks down into the nearest chair and yanks off his mask and gloves.

 

"No," Nestor argues as he crosses his arms and continues the lecture. "We need you alive, boss.  So stop making your cameo appearances on-world.  Let Phasma's gang handle this.  Her troops are exceptionally trained, programmed from birth.  Give each knight their own legion and turn us loose with the generals.  Then you go sit with the diplomats to plan the Second Empire."

 

"I get bored of conference rooms," Kylo complains.  He much prefers the rush of being shot at versus the boredom of being talked at.  "And I want this war to end."  Kylo shoots his friend a sullen look.  "You'll be First Knight soon enough, Nestor.  Wait your turn."

 

"Look, we all want this war to end.  Let us end it for you.  In the meantime, you start focusing on what happens next.  Boss, you need to stop doing your old job and start doing your new job."

 

It's true and Kylo knows it.  He's been in denial about the consequences of his Master's death.  And more than a little reluctant to embrace the changes they entail.  Plus, when he’s swinging his sword and channeling the Force in deep concentration he can forget his grief over losing Snoke.   It also gets his mind off what to do about Rey.

 

"Okay.  Talk to me."  Kylo is ready to listen.   Whenever normally chill Nestor Ren gets worked up about something, Kylo knows to listen.  The Second Knight is far more insightful than he gets credit for.  Most guys see a brute when they meet Nestor's muscled hulk.  But Kylo knows that his second in command's mind is by far his greatest asset. 

 

"You're the Leader now.  Once we win and it gets announced, the whole galaxy will know it.   People should start seeing you do something besides swing your sword.   Kylo Ren needs to be more than just a warrior.  You need to be a man who can unite and govern the galaxy."   Nestor shrugs a little.  "Look, this needs some stagecraft.  Probably some buildup in the press.  Talk to the PR guys, they know this stuff."

 

Kylo frowns.  "They'll tell me to lose the mask."

 

"You should."  Nestor levels him a serious look.  "To many people, that mask and sword represent their defeat.   When you take it off, it’s a change that signals that you are Leader Ren and not the First Knight."

 

"Rey thought I needed a Vader cape," Kylo remembers aloud.

 

Nestor agrees. "That's a good idea."   His friend thinks a moment.  "You need to look like a cross between Vader and Palpatine.  So yes to the cape, no to the mask, and all black for certain."

 

Kylo nods.  "I like it.  Half commander, half Emperor, all Sith."  

 

"How are you at speeches?" Nestor moves on.

 

Kylo grunts.  "That was Hux's job for a reason."

 

"Then find yourself a new Hux.  Because you are going to need someone to deliver your message, Kylo.  And make it someone friendly looking.  No more generals in that role.  Leader Ren is a magnanimous man of peace and so is his spokesman."

 

Kylo smirks and raises an eyebrow at this.  “Man of peace?”  He’s a Sith for crying out loud.

 

Nestor backs down a bit. "Okay, okay . . .  so you'll still wear your sword prominently for all to see.  And light it now and then in public just to remind everyone.”

 

Kylo considers this wisdom.  "Okay.  Do I need a throne too?"

 

"It's customary," Nestor points out. 

 

Kylo laughs.  "Next, you're going to have me kissing babies."

 

"Nah . . . only elected politicians have to kiss babies.  Not dictators."

 

"Good point."

 

"My point is that you need to start looking and acting like the Master you are and not the Apprentice you once were.   So cut out this grandstanding bullshit down on Coruscant.  We've all seen it before.  It's nothing new.  You can do more to win the war in a conference room with the politicians and diplomats.  Start cutting deals and putting the screws to people, just like old Snoke would have done.”

 

Kylo considers this advice.  “Anything else?” he asks.  “Is there more to this lecture?”

 

“No, I’m done.”  Nestor is back to being his usual affable self.  “Did you listen?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Good.  I want some water.  You want some?”

 

“Yeah.”    

 

A minute later, Nestor is back with water for both of them.  His friend plops down opposite him to disassemble his gun, as is his habit after battle.   Nestor loves to clean his gun and Kylo has long suspected that this ritual is how his friend comes down after the intense rush of combat.  The Second Knight could probably do this with his eyes closed, it’s so second nature to him.

 

“You never let that thing get dirty, do you?” Kylo observes, watching yet again the painstaking process he’s seen countless times before.

 

“This weapon is my life,” Nestor says softly as he inspects the barrel.  “If it jams, I’m a dead man and Cesi’s a widow on her own with three kids.  I don’t have the Force, boss.  I just have this gun.”

 

Kylo nods, chugging his water and watching in silence as his friend completes his task.  When he’s done, Nestor sets the gun aside and sits back.  He slants Kylo an amused look now.  “So, you do know that you’ve added to your air of mystery, right?  The rank and file know there’s a pretty princess now.”

 

“Yeah . . . ”  Kylo knew that scene in the medibay would start tongues wagging.  “What are they saying?”

 

“That you’re kissing your sister,” Nestor laughs. 

 

“Sister??”  Kylo blinks.  Sister?  Really?

 

“Yep.  Snoke called Rey his daughter to everyone at the bunker and lots of the enlisted people think you are Grandpa’s son.  So now, half the ship thinks you’re the Sith who wants to kiss his sister.” 

 

“Actually, that’s been known to happen in my family,” Kylo remarks dryly.

 

Now it’s Nestor’s turn to be surprised.  “Really?”

 

“Yes.”

 

His friend shakes his head, impressed by the reveal of this newest Skywalker dysfunction.  “Kylo, your family is so fucked up.”

 

“Agreed.  What else are they saying?”

 

“That Rey is some damsel in distress who you locked away in your castle for daring to love General Hux.”

 

Aww, fuck.  Hux again.  That guy is dead but he still won’t die.  “So everyone knows about Rey and Hux?”

 

“Plenty of people knew they were close friends at the bunker.  It was hard to miss.  She was everywhere with Hux.”

 

He slumps and exhales loudly.  “Well, at least that part of the story is true.  She really did care for Hux.”

 

Nestor nods but reminds him, “Yeah, well, Hux is dead.  You’re not.  Have you talked to Rey since she left?”

 

“No.”   It’s mostly because he can't take any more rejection.  Kylo can’t shake the feeling that he has ruined everything.  He let his anger get the better of him and he ruined everything.  But still . . . he’s not prepared to apologize because he’s still mad.    Rey should never have stayed on Jakku while pregnant.

 

Nestor is frowning at him.  “You haven’t even talked to her in the Force?”

 

“No.”  If he talks to her, she might be expecting an apology he’s not prepared to give.   So Kylo has remained silent.

 

“Then it's over?”

 

“I don't know.”  He hopes not.  But he’s afraid to try to clarify things in the event it is.   And that’s another reason Kylo has remained silent.  The status quo isn’t good, but it could be worse.

 

“Well, don't try that whole 'let's just be friends thing,’” Nestor counsels.  “You can be friends with a girl you want to fuck, but you can't be friends with a girl you used to fuck.  It never works.  Don't do that to yourself.”

 

Kylo makes a face.  “If you’re not with the Sith, then you’re our enemy,” he quotes the maxim he learned as an Apprentice.  “If you have the Force, you either join us or die, Nestor.  Those are the rules since long before Snoke.”

 

His friend looks alarmed.  “What’s that supposed to mean exactly?”

 

“It means there’s no dumping Rey on Jakku while I move on.  That’s not how it works.”

 

“Oh.”  Nestor thinks a moment.  “What would Grandpa do in this situation?”

 

That’s easy.  “Snoke would make her an offer she couldn't refuse, slash her hand, and take her to bed.”  His Master would never let a rival Force-user live who wasn't allied to the Sith, Kylo knows.  And so Snoke would forcibly ally her, if necessary.   Kylo feels certain that the old Muun who bought Twi’lek slave girls would be perfectly fine with a Light Side prisoner-wife.  No doubt, he would convince himself it was part of his beloved ‘balance.’

 

“Slash her hand?”  Nestor is intrigued.

 

“It’s a Sith thing.”

 

“Okay.  Well . . . why not that then?  At least it would get you laid.”

 

“It's not that hard to get Rey into bed,” he grumbles.   Her body isn't the issue, Kylo knows, it's her heart.  Every time he gets Rey into bed, he falls a little more in love with her.   But it never seems to affect Rey that way.  It’s humiliating to admit because a Sith is supposed to be a master at seduction.   She’s supposed to be the one who’s seduced and not the other way around.

 

Making Rey his prisoner will only make things worse, he knows.   Because the point is that he wants her to choose him.  But she never does.  And she definitely won’t if she’s his prisoner.  Kylo runs a hand through his sweaty, disheveled hair.  "She'll fuck me, she just won’t love me," he sighs. 

 

His Master would never have this problem, Kylo knows.  Half of Snoke’s departing slave girls used to cry their eyes out because they didn't want to leave the ugly old gargoyle Sith.  Here is yet another way he will never equal his Muun Master, Kylo knows.  Maybe he should have spent more time observing his Master charming women and less time worrying about the Force.  Because Kylo could use some of old Snoke's moves just now.   He shakes his head.  “Snoke is probably laughing at me in the Force right now.” 

 

“Nah,” Nestor scoffs loyally.  “He's proud of you.   Look, Kylo, if your alternative is to kill her, you had better make this work.   For your sake.   Plus, my kids like your girl, so it would be best if you didn't kill her.  They are still crying over the housekeeper.”

 

“What happened to the housekeeper?”

 

“She’s still safe in the camp.”

 

“And your kids like Rey?” Kylo asks hopefully.  He has been wondering how things are going for Rey.  Wondering if he had made the right decision.  After their verbal brawl in the medibay, Nestor had listened to the story, made a face and told him not to send Rey to Vader's castle.  If you make her a prisoner you will confirm her worst fears and look like even more of an asshole.  And then Nestor had thought a long moment and suggested that he send Rey to his wife Cesi for looking after.   It’s obscure and safe, Nestor had argued.  Plus Cesi’s been through a similar experience.  Give Rey some time to heal away from you and the war, Nestor urged him.  And give yourself some time to cool off.

 

Dubious Kylo had agreed, mostly because he couldn't think of a better alternative.  Plus, he can order increased security on an existing First Order compound on a First Order world without attracting undue attention.  It wasn't a perfect solution, but it will work for now.  And Cesi Flick is a team player who agreed to her uninvited houseguest without question or comment.   Kylo doesn't exactly know how Nestor had explained it, but it doesn't matter.  Cesi Flick will figure it out in time, if Rey hasn't already told her.  Actually, he's hoping Rey will tell her.  Because Rey needs a friend and a loyal First Order wife could be a good influence for her.  

 

“Yeah.   Here.  See for yourself.  I got this a few days ago.”  Nestor digs out his datapad and punches at it before handing it over.  It’s a video recording from his kids. 

 

_“It's working!   Rey, you got him to work!”  The oldest Flick girl is jumping up and down with excitement.  “You did it!”_

 

_The littlest Flick now moves into view, silently staring into the camera and sucking her thumb.  Her oldest sister quickly pushes past her to take charge and do the talking.  “Daddy, Rey found this old droid in a scrap pile and fixed him up so we could play with him.  I'm naming him Rainbow.”_

_“Rey.  I like Rey,” the little one chimes in stubbornly from behind._

_The older girl nods her agreement.  “Rey also fixed the dishwasher and the oven light that was broken.  Rey can fix anything, Daddy.  And she's not afraid of bugs.”  The girl purses her lips a moment before tempering her initial assessment.  “But she can't cook.  Rey’s a terrible cook.”_

_“Me!  Me!”   The little one pipes up again as she tugs at her sister indignantly.  “Me talk!”_

_“Go ahead,” the older girl grumbles._

_The little girl must be eye level with the droid.  She steps forward to look straight into the camera.   “Rey burned my pancake,” she recounts solemnly.  “I cried.”_

_Again, the littlest one is pushed out of the way.  “You're such a baby.”_

_“Am not!”_

_“Are too!   Baby, baby, baby!”_

_“Girls, what's going on?”  Cesi Flick looms partly into view, frowning as she wipes her hands on a dish towel._

_“We're making a recording for Daddy.  We're telling him about Rainbow and Rey.”_

_“Oh.  Okay.   Who's Rainbow?”_

_“The droid, Mommy.  Duh!”_

_“Don't be rude, young lady.”   Cesi Flick turns to speak to someone off camera.  “Rey, feel free to edit or delete this silliness.  And girls,” Lady Flick addresses her brood.  “No details about where we are, remember?  Loose lips blowup starships.  The Resistance might intercept this, you know.”_

_Next, he hears Rey's voice.  “It's okay.  It's cute.  And it’s true—I can’t cook.”_

_Satisfied that she has carte blanche to continue, the oldest Flick girl turns back to the camera to continue her report.  “Rey is wearing Mommy's clothes but she can't wear Mommy's shoes because Rey has such big feet,” the little girl says authoritatively.   “And Rey does our hair in knots.  See.”  Both Flick kids now turn their heads to show off the matching trio of hair buns Kylo remembers from Rey's Jakku scavenger days.  It's a style much more suited to a little girl than a grown woman, he sees._

_“No one else at school has hair like this, Daddy.  Mommy said that I am a trendsetter," the oldest girl says proudly._

_"Tree!  Tree!" the little one interrupts impatiently._

_Again, her big sister talks for her.  “Oh, yeah.  I forgot that.  We went to the park last week and Rey cried.  She saw a tree and she cried.  Isn't that crazy?   Rey said she didn't know there was this much green in all the galaxy.   She’s from the desert.  Trees don't grow in the desert."_

_Cesi Flick again pops into view.  “That's enough, girls.  It's dinner time.  Say goodbye and turn off the droid."_

_“Rainbow, Mommy!  His name is Rainbow!”_

_“I said turn it off.  Now, come to dinner.  And where is your sister?  Did that child run off again?”_

 

The recording fuzzes out. 

 

Kylo pushes replay and watches it again.  “Rey sounds happy,” he remarks when it concludes.  Then he hands the datapad back to Nestor and looks away.  They are entering the _Finalizer_ ’s hangar bay now.  He feels the lurch as they fly past the air lock. 

 

"Is she still the Sith princess if you aren't together?"  Nestor asks quietly.  “Or was that all because Snoke intended her for you?”

 

Kylo isn’t sure how to answer that question.  "What are you getting at?"

 

"This ‘join us or die’ business—does that have to mean joining you or can it mean joining the First Order?  Can Rey be your sister and not your girlfriend?”

 

"She's not my sister."

 

"Ward, cousin, whatever.  You want to keep her alive, right?"

 

Yes, he wants to keep her alive.  He can’t imagine killing Rey.  No matter how angry he might get at her.  But her words hinting at opposition to him cannot be ignored.  Kylo is a Sith and he knows his duty to the Dark Side.  He had failed in his duty the first time around when he had delivered Rey to Snoke.  And that had cost them their happiness.  For had Kylo pulled a sword on her as ordered, he would have passed his Master’s test and won his girl free and clear right then and there.  And then, Hux would never have come between them. 

 

“Maybe you should give her some princess duties like Snoke did,” Nestor thinks aloud.  Clearly, he’s trying to find a solution.  “Make Rey the de facto First Lady of your new regime.  She can do that as your princess sister.  And then if things get better between you two, great.  And if not, that’s okay too.  Everyone lives, even if it’s not happily ever after."  

 

“She’s not my sister.  And Rey won’t go for it.  She only played princess at the bunker because Snoke gave her no choice."  And because Rey did only ceremonial things that she didn’t object to.  In hindsight, Kylo sees that his Master had been giving her confidence and easing her into the role of a public figure.  Little by little, adding to the social polish of the scavenger princess by pushing her out of her comfort zone.

 

Despite his naysaying, Nestor keeps warming to his idea.  "So . . . have Milo pitch it to her.  She listens to Milo.  You stay out of it, boss.”

 

Yeah, he thinks glumly, that’s right.  If he does as Nestor suggests, then he needs to stay out of it or Rey will outright refuse.   And right now, he needs less conflict between them.  Snoke had told him to find balance with Rey, but all Kylo finds now is confrontation.   He wonders for a moment if that’s what balance truly means—that he and Rey end up equal, opposing agents in the Force.  Maybe balance is not a sort of harmony but a sort of dissonance?  He doesn’t know.  More and more lately, Kylo thinks he knows very little about the future role Snoke expected him to play.  He feels woefully unprepared for his current responsibilities. 

 

He looks over at Nestor’s earnest face.  Nestor is a good soldier for the cause, as always.  Even when the cause is Kylo Ren’s happiness.  “I’ll think about,” he concedes. 


	48. Chapter 48

It’s early morning when Rey wanders into the kitchen yawning.  She does a doubletake.   Milo is sitting at the table sipping caf with Cesi and the Senator. 

 

“Milo.”

 

Milo smiles and stands at her arrival.   As always, he has the formal, courtly manners of a bygone era.  “Ah, Rey, it has been far too long since we have breakfasted together.  I have missed our chats.”

 

“Good morning,” Rey says cautiously, looking to Cesi for an explanation. 

 

“Milo is here to fetch you,” her hostess explains.  And that has Rey instantly suspicious. 

 

“There is someone who has been asking to see you,” Milo tells her with his usual patient smile.

 

“Is that someone Kylo?” Rey asks bluntly, drawing a curious look from the Senator.  “Because I don’t want to see Kylo.”

 

“It is Commandant Brendol Hux,” Milo reveals.  “I very much hope that you will see him, Rey.”

 

Oh.  “Army’s father wants to see me?” Rey suddenly has a bad feeling about this.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Ten minutes later, Rey is on a First Order shuttle with Milo enroute to some bunker at an undisclosed location.  Apparently, old Leader Snoke had several command bunkers scattered throughout the galaxy for his personal use.   Milo has everything all planned out in advance, Rey realizes when she learns that he has brought with him her old grooming droid and a red dress and matching flat slippers from her princess days.   This will be a formal audience with Princess Renata, Milo explains.  Do dress the part.  It’s what the Commandant will expect.  Standing there in Cesi Flick’s ill-fitting hand-me-downs, Rey can hardly refuse. 

 

When she emerges transformed into the Sith princess, Milo is grinning ear to ear like a proud grandfather.  “How lovely you are, Princess.”  Rey flushes at the compliment.  “I have something for you,” Milo says eagerly.  It’s a long black hooded cloak, richly embroidered black on black with the First Order medallion.  “I thought you should have your very own,” Milo tells her as he lays the heavy velvet about Rey’s shoulders.  “Borrowing Madame’s cloak was only temporary until this arrived.  I have been saving it for you.  There,” he steps back to admire his handiwork.  “Now you look like a real Sith princess.” 

 

It’s true, she does.  “It has been a long time since I looked like this,” Rey comments as she inspects her reflection in the mirror.  A lot has happened since she last dressed like this.  And that’s why the Commandant wishes to see her, Rey knows.

 

Milo wastes no time when the shuttle lands.  He conducts her into an underground bunker that looks much the same as the one she remembers.  It too houses an audience chamber for Snoke.  The chamber is complete with the same young lieutenant majordomo Rey remembers and a large throne built for the scale of the Muun Sith himself.  When Rey is seated with Milo standing sentinel over her right shoulder, the great doors open and in walks Brendol Hux, father to Army.    

 

"Commandant," Rey immediately stands and steps down the dais to greet her guest with hands outstretched.  Snoke used to do this for his most important guests, she remembers.  Rey is determined to play the role of Snoke’s daughter to the hilt today.  It’s what this grieving First Order loyalist both expects and deserves.  "You have my deepest sympathies for your loss.”

 

"Thank you, Princess."  The older man nods stiffly.  His demeanor is very controlled like she recalls from their prior meeting.  How he reminds her of Army.  Brendol Hux has those same icy blue eyes and high patrician cheekbones.  The same rigid posture and clenched jaw.  The more she studies the elder Hux, the stronger the resemblance appears.   And that makes this meeting all the more fraught with regret for Rey.

 

"I miss him," she confides softly as her formality briefly slips. 

 

The Commandant does not reply. 

 

Taking that as her cue, Rey returns to her place on Snoke's throne and copies the regal nod she remembers the old Muun giving to signal the beginning of an official audience.

 

Brendol Hux is an old veteran of the Empire and the First Order.  He understands the subtle dance of protocol that accompanies moments like this.  He knows to begin.  He also knows to get straight to the point.  "My son is dead.  Princess, I wish to know more about his death.  There are," he pauses to inhale and then exhale a deep breath, "troubling rumors."

 

Rey nods.  Now, more than ever, she fears where this meeting is headed. 

 

"My son was buried a hero with full military honors.  And yet there are rumors that Armitage was a traitor.  I wish to know if there is truth to those rumors."

 

Rey looks Brendol Hux in the eye as she speaks a non-answer.  "Army died at Crait.  He was killed by the Jedi after he killed the enemy general.  It was an important victory for the First Order.  We are all grateful for Army's sacrifice."

 

"Yes, thank you.  That is what I have been told, Princess.”  The Commandant is polite but persistent.  “But we both know that my son did not personally lead his troops into battle.  Armitage could not shoot straight more than a few meters.  He had no business in actual combat.  So why was he there?   Was he there to defect to the enemy as the rumors say?"

 

Rey hesitates a long moment and the Commandant finally speaks up.  "Princess, there is no need to sugarcoat it.  If my son betrayed us, I will be shocked and disappointed.  But I wish to know the truth of the sort of man he was.  Would he--did he--do such a thing?"

 

Again, Rey hesitates.  The Commandant looks so stoic standing there at rigid attention, his face a blank mask.  Through the Force, she feels his anticipation and fear.   Rey recalls now how low an opinion this man had of his own son.  How critical and dismissive he had been.   How bitterly estranged Army and his father were after the Starkiller.   It was a difficult and complicated relationship, Rey knows.  But there was love there underneath it all.  

 

It was the furthest thing from the love she has observed in the Flick household.  The bickering, teasing, tickling, complaining, everyday love Rey witnesses.  Is that because there are no expectations yet for the little Flick girls?  No standards to meet and accomplishments to achieve?  Failure was not an option in the Hux family, it seems.  And so while you might be loved as a Hux, you could also be strongly disapproved of.   And that’s a situation that Rey doesn’t quite understand.  But she’s starting to see that love doesn’t mean you accept everything about someone or approve of everything they do.  Love is more complicated than that. 

 

She can’t help but wonder now whether Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker had stopped loving Kylo.  Or had they, like the Commandant, loved from afar but completely disapproved?   If so, had it been the same for the Skywalker twins themselves?  Had their grandfather Snoke secretly loved from afar but disapproved?  Had Vader?

 

What does it mean to be a child burdened by such high expectations?  And what does it mean to fail to live up to the legacy of your family?  Brilliant, temperamental and accomplished Army Hux could never quite shake the aegis of the Commandant, an Imperial war hero and founding father of the First Order.  And while Kylo may have rejected all the Light Side of his family held dear, he too struggles with the weight of his Sith grandfather’s glory.  Afraid that he will never be as powerful as the revered and feared Darth Vader. 

 

You don’t get to choose your family, Rey knows.  And maybe that’s the point.  You love them even if you don’t like them and don’t agree with them.  She wonders for a moment whether Army had known that his father loved him.  Loved him enough to argue for his life before the Supreme Leader.  Loved him enough to agonize over the circumstances of his death.  Had Army Hux ever glanced at the huge file of unread messages from his father in his datapad?  The sheer volume of messages betrayed the Commandant’s love.

 

To tell the truth about Army’s betrayal could destroy that love, Rey knows.  And the truth will require an uncomfortable explanation of Rey's own role in matter.  And so, she lies.   It is both an act of mercy and of cowardice.  

 

Again, Rey looks the steel haired Brendol Hux in the eye.  "You son was no traitor, Sir.  He had the highest commitment to the First Order and to the Supreme Leader.  Army was unwavering in his devotion to the cause."

 

"Why was he at Crait?" the Commandant persists.  Rey knows that he needs facts to explain it to himself and likely to others.

 

And this is where Rey begins to mix truths with her lies.  "Army was there for me.  The rumors have it wrong.   If there was a traitor it was I, Commandant.  Not your son.  Army was at the battle to retrieve me."

 

Brendol Hux blinks.  "I don't understand.  You are the Supreme Leader's daughter.  You could never be a traitor to the First Order."

 

"It is not common knowledge,” Rey reveals, “but before I came to be known as Snoke's daughter, I was with the Resistance.  For a time, I was a student to the Jedi.  Commandant, I went to Crait that day to intercede with the Jedi."

 

"Princess, you were with the Resistance?"  The elder Hux’s tone says it all.  Shock, disdain, disapproval.

 

"Yes.  I-I was misguided at the time.”  Rey averts her eyes. 

 

Brendol Hux is trying to understand what she has revealed, to put it in a framework that makes sense.  "So you are a former Jedi student like Ren?"

 

"Yes."

 

The elder Hux nods and digests this information.  Then he poses the follow up question she knows is coming.  "So the rumors that Army ran off with you are also untrue?"

 

"Yes," Rey lies again.  And keeps lying.  Because once you start lying, it's hard to stop.  "If there are official vagaries to the tale of what happened on Crait, they are meant to protect me.  Rest assured that everyone who truly matters knows the truth of the situation." 

 

"But my son's honor is nonetheless tarnished by these rumors."

 

"Unfortunately, yes,” she agrees.   But seeing the Commandant’s severe frown, Rey makes a hasty offer.  “If you wish, I will speak to Lord Ren about quashing the talk.”

 

Brendol Hux nods.   “Please do so, Princess.  It does our cause no good to have loose talk of high ranking officers like Armitage turning traitor.  Ren knows that.  And having Ren debunk these myths will carry weight.  It is well known that he and my son were usually at odds.”

 

“I will speak to Lord Ren,” she promises with a gulp.  Because what has she just volunteered to do?

 

“Thank you, Princess.”  Rey nods and he takes it as a dismissal.  “Please give my best regards to the Supreme Leader.”

 

“Yes, of course,” Rey lies one last time.

 

When the doors close behind Brendol Hux, Milo steps around beside her.  “The Sith do not lie,” he remarks offhand.   “It is not their way.  And it is what makes their deceptions so potent.  The plots of Darth Plagueis were always based on the truth.”

 

Rey is annoyed by this comment, which she takes for criticism.  “I am not a Sith, Milo.   I will never be a Sith.  I lied to protect that man from the truth.”  Rey sighs and looks away.  “He thinks very little of his son as it is.  I will not destroy what little regard remains.”    

 

Milo nods.   “That was a kind thing you did, Princess.” 

 

“And maybe a foolish thing as well,” Rey snaps.   She is very rattled by this whole conversation.  And guilty, oh so guilty, over her role in Army’s betrayal.   And now she has another problem on her hands:  Kylo.  “How close are we to the _Finalizer_?” she sighs.

 

“Hmmm . . . yes,” Milo observes.  “You and Lord Ren need to get your stories straight.”  He thinks a moment.  “Probably an hour.  Maybe a little longer.  A stop on the way home is doable.  Shall I alert the Master of your arrival?”

 

“No,” Rey decides.  “No, don’t tell him.”

 

“Very well.  But before we leave, Princess, may I impose upon your time further?  There are others who are here to visit today.  It won’t take long.” 

 

Rey is unenthusiastic about another official audience.  She shoots the old Sith servant a pained look.  “Milo, this princess business died with Snoke.  I told Kylo I wouldn't do this any longer.  Today with the Commandant was an exception.”

 

“Of course,” Milo agrees easily but then keeps pressing.  “It's just that the school children were hoping to meet a real princess.”

 

“Children?”

 

Milo considers.  “We may be able to scare up a general.  Well, certainly a major.  Perhaps that will suffice as a substitute.”  Milo slants her another hopeful glance.  “I would like to avoid disappointing them.  But of course, if you do not wish to see them, we will make other arrangements.”

 

“Alright, Milo,” Rey reluctantly agrees.  And now that Milo has her dressed and sitting on Snoke’s throne, he takes full advantage.  After the school kids come two military promotions, the ceremonial signing of a letter of intent to finance a new armaments factory, and the formal announcement of new schools to be built on a Mid Rim world Kylo had nearly leveled six months ago.  In all, it takes only an hour.   And unlike the audience with Brendol Hux, these brief meetings are easy and positive.  Maybe even a little enjoyable.  Everyone arrives happy and departs happy.  And Rey finds that she slips quickly back into the formal speech and mannerisms of the Sith princess role.  

 

“Milo,” she asks quietly as they leave, “Who has been holding official audiences since . . .”   She doesn't finish her statement.  No one speaks aloud of Leader Snoke's death.  In certain select circles, it is an open but unacknowledged fact.  But among the rest of the First Order and the galaxy at large, it is a very well-kept secret. 

 

That secret is made feasible by the fact that the Supreme Leader had been a largely reclusive figure who delegated most activities.  It probably also helps to hide the truth that Rey is here today doing what she did when Snoke was alive.  There is nothing new and different about how Rey has spent today.  If anything, people have probably wondered where Princess Renata has been for the past six weeks or so. 

 

"These days, I receive our guests," Milo answers.   "Although Lord Ren has handled some of the more contentious interviews personally."   The old servant shoots Rey a thoughtful look.  "We could use your help, Rey.  Would you consider holding audiences one day a week?"

 

Rey hesitates.

 

Milo looks over encouragingly at her.  "Rey, this role becomes larger and more important every day we grow closer to peace.”

 

“Peace is a lie, Milo," Rey mutters cynically.

 

"Perhaps.  But peace is coming.  And Lord Ren and I will need help with peace."   Milo smiles over at her as they climb the shuttle ramp together. "Hopefully, soon there will be fewer military promotions and condolences and more school children, hospitals and economic development.  Rey, if you wish, you can be a part of it all."

 

Rey looks away. "Why should I help him?" she complains.

 

"You would be helping others too."

 

"I'll think about it," Rey defers judgment. 

 

Milo nods and keeps up his gentle persuasion.  "You have a deft touch, Rey.  You might think this work to be superfluous, but it is not.  Ceremony and symbolism matter for leadership.   It would be nice if kindness and Light were a part of the public face of the First Order from time to time."

 

Rey agrees with this statement, but she’s still unconvinced.  Here in private, she has completely dropped the act of fiercely loyal First Order princess.  Rey cuts to the chase.  "You want me to look pretty and smile for the people Kylo enslaves, is that it?  To be his puppet on a throne in a fancy dress?"

 

Milo takes this bitterness in stride.  He looks slightly amused now as he observes, "A puppet would not be stopping by unannounced at Darth Ren's star destroyer to set him straight on the events at the Battle of Crait."

 

He's right, Rey realizes.  And she is slightly taken aback by that truth.

 

Old Milo holds her gaze as he makes his next point.  "Princess, you may choose how and when to assert your influence.  But make no mistake, you have influence."

 

"I wonder if Kylo is even on his ship today," Rey thinks aloud. 

 

"He's there," Milo confirms.  And, of course, Milo would know Kylo's schedule.  He's the personal representative to the Supreme Leader. 

 

Milo gives instructions to the waiting shuttle pilot and then turns back to Rey.  "May I suggest that you treat this upcoming chat with our Master less as a private matter and more as your last public audience of the day?"

 

"What?"  Huh?

 

"The topic of General Hux will no doubt be a thorny one.  So let’s take advantage of your and the Master's public personas, shall we?   The distinction between public and private is important, my lady.   Those boundaries should be respected," he tells her with a meaningful look.  No doubt it is a not so subtle reprimand for her screaming match with Kylo during her last sojourn to the First Order's flagship.  "Since private discussions have proven to be . . . shall we say . . . problematic, let us try a new approach."  Milo thinks a moment.  “This will also give us a chance to reintroduce you to the _Finalizer_ crew.  Think of it as a second chance to make a first impression.”

 

"Milo, what are you saying?" She's not following any of this.

 

Milo now has a twinkle in his eye that Rey hasn't seen in a while.  The old Sith servant leans in conspiratorially.  "Princess, do you feel brave enough to storm the bridge of the _Finalizer_?"

 

* * *

 

 

Today, the First Order has launched yet another massive assault in the siege of Coruscant.   The Sith stands on the bridge of his great ship listening passively to the initial combat reports.  It’s more of the same:  the appearance of victory that belies the reality of asymmetrical insurgent warfare.   His troops roll in and the enemy melts away undetected into the general populace.  Preferring to use terror and guerilla raids rather than to fight actual battles.

 

These are the tactics that brought low the Empire, Kylo Ren knows.  For counter-insurgency efforts are, as a general rule, unsuccessful.  They also tend to escalate rapidly, leading to ever more brutal and widespread crackdowns, which in turn only fuel the opposition.   Slowly, you become everything the enemy says about you.  And then they win because they are right.  It is a trap he cannot seem to sidestep.  But failure is not an option. 

 

Kylo Ren is starting to understand just how critical the loss of the Starkiller is.  And he’s starting to appreciate the deterrent value of ultimate weapons.   It’s no wonder the last two Sith Masters managed to build three versions of the Death Star.  Darth Vader was right:  faster, more decisive conflicts are better in the end.  Tarkin was right too:  fear will keep the local systems in line.   But without a super weapon to make examples and to engender widespread, potent fear, Kylo Ren and the First Order have to fight the old-fashioned way.  And it is slow, bloody and fraught with risk. 

 

He can see no way to evade a protracted military siege of the Core.   And so, this morning he had convened a brain trust of generals, PR hacks, and diplomats in a conference room.   More than a few attendees had looked askance at their colleagues across the table, so Kylo had been explicit.  Telling them to listen to each another and to respect one another’s knowledge in their field of discipline.  Then he gave them the Sith’s version of the ‘There’s no I in team’ speech:   Kylo promised to personally execute anyone who started a turf battle or dominated the discussion.  Once he had everyone’s attention, Kylo had tasked them with a goal that seems an anathema to his Sith teaching.   Plot me a strategy to win peace, he ordered, not a strategy to win a war. 

 

Listening to the combat reports from the surface, Kylo worries that what’s happening in that conference room is far more important than what’s happening in the actual battle.  And so, he beckons over a junior aide and orders them to retrieve Nestor Ren from the Coruscant surface and send him to the conference room.  Kylo needs someone he can trust down there in the mix. 

 

The aide is saluting acknowledgement of the command when Kylo freezes.   Then whirls and stalks away to the center of the bridge.  Rey?  He could swear that he just sensed Rey in the Force.  He quiets his mind and shuts out the buzz of activity on the bridge and there it is again.  Yes, it’s Rey.  She’s here.  On his ship.   Now.  Close.  And getting closer still.

 

His first thought is: what the Hell?   His next thought is:  something is wrong.  Because this is highly unusual.  Rey is supposed to be with Milo today playing princess.  At least, that’s what the old Sith servant’s daily message had reported.  Kylo frowns behind his mask.  It looks like old Milo had been less than successful in his bid to cajole Rey back into her former role.  And that’s just what Kylo has thought all along.  Nestor’s idea was a futile shot in the dark that appears to have backfired.  And now, it seems, Rey is coming here for another ugly confrontation.

 

“Get me the incoming transport log from the past half hour.  Immediately!” he barks to the logistics officer on duty below him in the bridge pit.  When the flustered junior lieutenant takes longer than two seconds to produce results, Kylo’s impatience flares.  “Forget it!  I’ll go to the hangar bay myself,” he announces. 

 

And that’s when he hears Rey’s voice call to him from behind.

 

"I thought I would find you here."

 

"Rey."

 

He whirls to find Rey standing opposite him at the far end of the bridge before the elevator.   She is beautiful in her full princess regalia, with hair piled high to give her average height more stature.  She wears a voluminous black velvet cloak with intricate embroidery and the hood thrown back.  Underneath is a long red dress he recognizes from her days at Snoke's bunker.   The whole look is majestic as fuck.  He and everyone else stare.  Sith princess indeed. 

 

Well done, Milo, he thinks.

 

Rey is nervous, he senses in the Force.  But not angry.   As she pauses on the threshold of the bridge, the pair of guards stationed at the elevator belatedly react.  They move quickly to intercept Rey.  But she merely gestures and they are tossed lightly back to their posts with the Force.   It’s an effortless and harmless maneuver.  And it’s so completely Rey.  Gods, this woman is hot when she uses the Force.

 

“Darth Ren . . .“

 

She begins with his Sith title on her lips.  Then Rey starts talking loudly for all to hear as slowly she walks to close the distance between them.  Kylo is so surprised by her dramatic arrival and transfixed by her Light that he just stands there and watches.  Part of him wonders if this isn’t real and Rey is just a vision in the Force. 

 

“ . . . has come to my attention that there may be grave misconceptions about the late General Hux . . . “

 

He’s not listening.  For here is his Sith princess looking right through the mask into his eyes and into his soul as she sweeps across the bridge, ready to Force push anyone who might stand in the way.  Is she marching forward into his arms?  He certainly hopes so.

 

“ . . . know that Armitage Hux died a hero on Crait after he captured and killed the enemy General Leia Organa.  Our General Hux was then beheaded with a lightsaber by the cowardly Jedi Luke Skywalker himself . . . “

 

Damn, if that’s what she’s up to, then he’s going to rip off his mask and kiss her breathless right here on the prow of the _Finalizer_ with Coruscant as the backdrop shining through the windows.   Then he’ll carry her off to his quarters and seduce her until she screams out her pleasure and calls him Master.  Reveling in her body and basking in her Light.  Just thinking of it sends a shiver down his spine.  Because feel all her amazing Light.  How he has longed for her Light. 

 

“ . . . malicious rumors impugn the memory and the sacrifice of General Hux.  And they weaken the esprit de corps of our fighting men and women.   You and I and everyone in this room know that Armitage Hux was no traitor . . . “

 

Hux . . . she’s talking about Hux.  She’s here to talk about that traitor Hux.  She’s speaking like a loyal member of the First Order and telling lies for all to hear.  Asking him to confirm them.  But he doesn’t care.  She could be reciting the Jedi Code for all this Sith cares.  Bewitched Kylo just holds out a gloved hand to her. 

 

“ . . . must have originated among our enemies who seek to weaken us.  We owe it to his father the Commandant and to all who proudly served under the command of General Hux to quash these cruel rumors . . . “

 

She accepts his outstretched hand now and immediately he tightens his grip.  She keeps walking forward and so he turns and he too faces out the distinctive triangular shaped windows that have decorated star destroyers since their earliest Jedi cruiser designs.  He and Rey stand hand in hand, their backs turned to the bridge personnel.  A Sith and his erstwhile Jedi lady surveying the crown jewel world that holds the ultimate fate of the galaxy.

 

Her speechifying concludes.  “Wow,” Rey says softly under her breath as she looks out on his great ship and then on Coruscant below.  “This is amazing.”

 

“I can give you the galaxy, Rey,” he whispers in an equally soft tone.  “I can give you everything you see.”  He will too, if it will help her forget that traitor Hux. 

 

“I’m not here for the galaxy,” she replies sotto voce.  “I’m here for Brendol Hux.  Please lie for me for Brendol Hux.  Tell everyone Army was not a traitor.”

 

“Why?” he demands.

 

“For the sake of the Order.  For the Commandant.  For me.”

 

“Why you?”  Clearly, this means so much to Rey that she is willing to put on a show.  Kylo can’t help but feel jealous.  And dissed.  Because she’s not here for him.  She’s here for her beloved Army Hux. 

 

“I am very guilty over Army,” Rey confesses miserably.  Out of the corner of his mask, he sees Rey bite at her lower lip before she continues.  “Kylo, I need this to help me get over Army’s death.  Do this for me.  Please.  Let Army be remembered for more than his worst moment.  And spare his father this humiliation.”

 

Kylo likes and respects the elder Hux.  That’s incentive enough for him to agree, even if it weren’t Rey here pleading Army’s case.  But Kylo is not going to be hasty about giving Rey what she wants.   He’s a Sith, so he knows to press his leverage.  As old Darth Plagueis used to say, ‘yes’ is just the beginning of the negotiation.  “The last time you asked me for a favor for Hux, I got a kiss,” he reminds her.

 

“No.”  She shoots him down immediately.

 

So Kylo remains silent.  Snoke always said that silence is a very effective negotiation tool when someone wants something very badly.

 

It works with Rey.  Kylo watches her visibly swallow.  “Is that what you want?” she whispers.  “A kiss?”

 

“Can I get more?” He’s a Sith and he always wants more. 

 

“Lie for me and I will give you a kiss,” she decides.  “But lie for me right here, right now.  In front of everyone.”

 

“So be it.”  He will put on a show, the same as she has.  Since this used to be Hux’s ship, Kylo knows he will have a very receptive audience.  Respecting Hux’s memory ought to earn him some goodwill on the _Finalizer_.  So Kylo turns now to face the bridge.  As he does so, thirty-odd faces that had been lifted to stare at he and Rey suddenly disappear as his crew puts their heads down in unison to resume their work.  Kylo ignores this.  He beckons across to the ship’s captain on duty.  The man hurries to stand at attention at his side. 

 

“Princess Renata calls to my attention the Resistance propaganda that slanders General Hux.  Let all on this ship know that anyone who dares to question the loyalty, bravery or sacrifice of Armitage Hux will answer to me.  I expect all officers onboard who become aware of these lies to correct them immediately.  Or they too will answer to me.”

 

“Yes, my lord.”

 

Kylo turns back to Rey and she nods her satisfaction.  “Come, Princess,” he bids her.  “I will escort you out.”  Out into the elevator, into his arms and hopefully into his bed.  He can’t wait to claim his reward and get her out of that cloak and dress.

 

But she stops him at the elevator threshold, turning to face him.  She reaches up to his mask.  She’s not pulling it off, she’s pulling it down as she stands on tiptoe.  In full view of the bridge, she touches her lips to the silver plating on the forehead of his mask.  It’s a kiss on the forehead, as if from a sister. 

 

“Thank you, Darth Ren,” she cups the cold metal of his mask where his cheek would be.  “May the Force be with you,” Rey bids him farewell.  Then as the bridge elevator doors open beside them, Rey slips inside with a rustle of heavy fabric. 

 

He stands watching her face until the doors close.  Then he remains there, eyes closed in concentration in the Force for the precious minutes remaining until her Light fades away with the liftoff of her shuttle.  Once more, Rey has chosen to leave him.  Once more, his princess has slipped through his grasp. 

 

Time to get back to work.  Kylo turns and stalks back towards the prow of the bridge.  He’s delighted, confused and annoyed all at the same time by Rey’s impromptu visit.  He will consider the meaning of all this later, but first he has a battle to win.   But after five minutes of standing there listening to more glowing reports of victory that he does not believe, Kylo reconsiders.  Instead, he heads for the conference room to plot peace.  He needs to end this war.  Before he loses his chance.


	49. Chapter 49

"It looks like Cesi has been busy," Nestor remarks as they wander out from the landing pad.  It’s dusk and they have arrived to interrupt a community block party of some sort.  It looks like the entire compound is out in full force spilling into the streets under makeshift light strings as loud music plays.   There are children running everywhere underfoot and adults gathered in small groups.  The air is thick with the smell of outdoor cooking and the sounds of laughter and conversation. 

 

It is wholesome and happy.  And it's just what Kylo needs after leaving the war zone this morning. 

 

Their shuttle has attracted attention.  It’s not his personal command shuttle, of course, since Kylo is arriving incognito here as one of his own knights.   It’s just a routine cargo shuttle ostensibly dropping off supplies.  Still, plenty of people have come to have a look.  When they find two Knights of Ren marching down the ramp, he and Nestor are greeted like returning hometown heroes.  A crowd of children rushes up to them and everywhere there are applause and smiles of admiration and approval.  Secretly, Kylo loves this adulation.  Some small part of him needs this validation.  Because deep inside Kylo Ren still lurks a pre-teen who was shunned by his peers.  And deeper still is a young child who had misunderstood his parents' conflicts as a rejection of himself.   It is vindication of all his life choices for these good people to rally around his cause and to send their loved ones to die for his glory.   

 

For a moment, Kylo is tempted to reveal himself to see how the crowd will react.  But he resists.  He won’t endanger Rey and Nestor’s family by calling attention to their hiding place.  And so, without his mask and with his sword tucked away, Kylo is just another Knight of Ren, and not THE Knight of Ren.  But no matter.  Everyone is suitably impressed.

 

"He's the Second Knight but which one are you, Sir?" asks a curious young boy who tugs at his surcoat.   The boy's know-it-all friend at his side answers for Kylo. "Can’t you tell?  He's the new Seventh Knight.  The last number seven fell at Chandrila, remember?"   And that's a convenient lie so Kylo goes with it.   "Are you the Seventh Knight, Sir?" asks the earnest original boy. 

 

"Sayeed Hasan, Seventh Knight of Ren," Kylo confirms.  Because Sith do lie, just not about important things.  Everybody lies.  But the Sith are especially deceptive about their identity.  Old Plagueis used to say you weren’t a real Sith until you had at least a few names and titles.

 

Impressed, the two boys flash the First Order salute.  "Told you so!"  The boys now begin arguing.  "I'm going to be a knight when I grow up."   "No, you're not.  You're gonna be a boring old cargo pilot like your dad."  

 

Kylo is amused.  He turns to the first boy. "The Order needs cargo pilots just as much as they need knights."  The boy beams up at him and Kylo moves on. 

 

He makes his way through the crowd, looking for Rey.  She’s here.  He can sense it.  He spies her standing next to Nestor's father-in-law, the former New Republic Vice Chancellor Senator Ono.  Rey has her back to him until the Senator leans in to tell her something.  It must be about him because Rey abruptly turns around.  Kylo watches her visibly stiffen at the sight of him. 

 

Rey has Nestor's youngest girl in her arms, sleeping nestled with her head on Rey's shoulder.  Kylo stares for a moment at the sight of Rey with a child in her arms.   He can’t help but feel a bittersweet sense of what might have been.   For had things gone differently on Jakku, Rey might one day have been holding their own daughter in her arms and not someone else’s.   Seeing Rey like this tonight really brings home the meaning of their loss.    

 

Ono, of course, knows who Kylo is even without the regalia.  He nods at Kylo's approach.  "Sir."  As always, the man is respectful but discreet. 

 

"Senator."  Kylo’s eyes find Rey.  "Hello, Rey," he says softly.

 

“Kylo.”  She eyes him a moment.  Then Rey murmurs to Ono at her side, "I'll take her back to the house and lay her down for the night.  That way Cesi can stay at the party and you two," her eyes flit back over him, "can talk business."  

 

Rey departs and Kylo suppresses a sigh.  Her cool welcome is not a surprise, but it is a disappointment.  Still, at least neither of them has started screaming yet. 

 

Ono catches him watching Rey walk away.   "We are fortunate to have her, Sir.  Rey is delightful." Through the Force, Kylo can sense the older man’s sincerity.

 

"Yes," Kylo replies glumly, still staring after her.  "I remember."

 

He spends an hour in conversation with Ono while Nestor relaxes with his family.  The Second Knight has a little girl sitting on his shoulders and one tugging at his leg as he drinks beer with some partygoers and tells war stories.  Everyone here has a loved one to ask Nestor about.  And while some days it seems like the Second Knight knows half the First Order, Nestor doesn't know the mostly low level officers he is asked about repeatedly.  What he does know is which combat units are stationed where.  And so there are some tonight who are relieved to learn that their family member is far from the battlefront.  Watching his friend at a distance, it occurs to Kylo that Nestor Flick has talents way beyond war.  Kylo files that away for future use. 

 

But now he walks the Senator back to his home.  Inside, Rey is on her hands and knees collecting toys into a large basket when they arrive.  The Senator looks embarrassed.  "My dear, that is not necessary," Ono protests, looking surreptitiously over at him for signs of censure.

 

Rey smiles up the Senator and ignores him completely.  "Grandpappy, you know as well as I do how much seeing this mess stresses out your daughter."

 

Ono is a longtime politician and he rarely ever directly disagrees with anyone.  He merely reminds Rey with an amused smile, "Those toys will be back on the floor tomorrow."

 

"That's not the point, and you know it," Rey informs him with an answering smile.

 

"Quite right.  Quite right," Grandpappy Ono concedes.  "Well, I bid you young people goodnight."   Then the Senator exits before he or Rey can think to object. 

 

And now they are alone.

 

Rey turns back to her task with a sudden focus and determination that is clearly feigned.  Kylo watches her ignore him a minute longer before he concentrates, raises his hand to levitate the remaining toys, then sweeps them as a group into Rey's basket with a wave of his hand. 

 

“Done,” he announces as he walks to Rey’s side and offers her a hand up.  She eyes it and then him, but accepts the help to her feet.  Then she skitters away quickly.  Seeing this, Kylo plants himself on a nearby couch to indicate that he’s not going anywhere.

 

Rey frowns at this.  “What are you doing here, Kylo?” she asks him plainly as she crosses her arms over her chest and pops out her hip.   Her posture is very Leia Organa.  And that sort of makes him smile inside.

 

“Well?” Rey prompts him.

 

Two can play at this whole surprise visit thing, Kylo thinks.  But he gives Rey the ostensible reason.  “I came to see Ono.  He’s going to publicly announce his allegiance soon, along with a few other key allies.  It’s a delicate matter than must be deftly done.  It requires my personal attention.”

 

Rey considers this.  “I thought the Senator’s reveal was supposed to wait until the war was almost over.”  She shoots Kylo a sideways look.  “On the holonet, it sure doesn’t look like the war is almost over.”

 

“It’s not.  We’re on Plan B now.”  Well, actually the Starkiller was Plan A, Hux’s invasion was Plan B, and Kylo has moved on to Plan C.  “Senator Ono is still an important guy on Coruscant.  He holds considerable influence and goodwill.  I need him to help us win the hearts and minds of the people.  To help convince Coruscant that the First Order are not the bad guys.”

 

Rey raises one eyebrow.  “Have you tried killing fewer people?  That might work.” 

 

Kylo refuses to be baited.  “It’s a delicate balance,” he responds to her point at face value.  “We will fight as hard as ever for victory, but we are loosening up on a few things.  Providing better treatment at internment camps, more humanitarian aid.  Things like that.”    He wants Rey to understand why he does what he does.  Because Kylo knows that if he can’t convince Rey of his motives, he will never convince the average citizen. 

 

“Look, Rey, I don’t want to destroy Coruscant.  I love that world.  In many ways, it is my home world.  Most of my childhood was spent there.  So I need to end this war before all of Coruscant is in ruins.”  Kylo makes a face, recalling the bleak scene of destruction he had left earlier today.  Whole swaths of the Mid and Upper Levels are already in ruins.  “In a protracted guerilla war, everyone loses.  Shorter, more decisive conflicts are preferable.  I see that now.”  Darth Vader was correct, Kylo realizes.  His Sith warrior grandfather had learned this wisdom fighting the Clone Wars.  But it took Kylo’s armies laying waste to a beautiful world he actually cared about for he himself to finally realize it. 

 

Kylo exhales loudly now and runs a hand through his hair like he always does when he is rattled.  Admitting to his problems on Coruscant has him less than confident.  But he’s always been able to let his guard down around Rey.  Nestor had been right—he and Rey are the only people with whom he can be honest and expect honesty in return.   Kylo values that now in a way he hadn’t before Snoke died.

 

And so he looks Rey in the eye and tells her the opposite of what the First Order PR machine keeps touting.  “Even without any Skywalkers left, the Resistance is still putting up a fight.   Rey, half of Coruscant seems to be rising up against us now.  There is no end in sight.  It’s getting very brutal.”

 

“You don't have to have the Force to matter.”  Rey states the obvious that Kylo has failed to perceive until recently.   For his Sith arrogance has blinded him, he knows.   “Ordinary people who are committed to their cause can be formidable, Kylo.  You don’t have to be a Skywalker for the Force to be with you.” 

 

His nods at her wisdom.  Kylo has always known that intellectually, but in his heart so much of his revolution was won when Luke Skywalker and his mother fell.   Somehow, Kylo had always envisioned that to be the hard part and the rest would be easy.  But maybe the truth is that killing his kin was just the hard part for him personally, and it was less important to the overall war than he ever understood.   And so, it keeps dragging on.  Wars are easy to start but hard to end.   It’s a lesson that Kylo Ren plans to remember for the future.  

 

“I really want to end this war,” he tells her with utmost sincerity. 

 

“You mean you really want to win this war,” Rey corrects him sharply.  She’s still in her Leia Organa pose.  And now it’s more fitting than ever.

 

“Ending the war and winning the war are the same thing.”

 

“Not necessarily.”

 

Is she suggesting that he give up now and negotiate for peace?   Not a chance.  He has traveled too far and seen too much to ignore the despair in the galaxy.  Kylo Ren will not walk away from the cause of progress that he has devoted his life to.   Not when he is this close.  The First Order will make the galaxy great again, just as his Master had planned all along.  He owes that to Darth Plagueis.  But whatever, he’s not going to argue with Rey.  The point is that he wants peace, but on his own terms. 

 

“I’m tired of war, Rey.  I want to move past war and onto rebuilding the galaxy.  This war needs to end.”

 

She looks a little surprised at this statement.  Well, maybe more perplexed than surprised.  “That’s a strange thing for a Sith to say, isn’t it?  I thought peace was a lie.  War never really ends, does it?”

 

“I’ve been thinking about what you said on my ship in the medibay--“ Kylo begins and suddenly Rey looks panicked.  She misunderstands where he is going.

 

“Don’t—“ she warns him hoarsely as she raises her palms to him and backs away.  “Don’t talk about the . . . “  Her voice trails off before she can say the word baby.  And now she is furiously blinking and tucking a wayward strand of hair back into her ponytail.  “Please, just don’t—“ she begins again and falters.  “I c-can’t . . .  Kylo, I just c-can’t . . . “

 

He nods.  “I won’t.” 

 

Rey looks so relieved in that moment that a wave of remorse washes over him.  He never should have blamed her for the baby.  That was cruel of him.  Yes, Rey bears some blame, but she knew that without him rubbing her face in it.  But he had been hurt and surprised and it had been Kardura all over again.  With him reflexively lashing out to soothe his own pain.  He’s a Sith and he’s selfish like that.  His needs always come first and that’s a hard habit to break when you are not used to caring about anyone who isn’t your Sith Master or your subordinate right hand man. 

 

And now again, Kylo runs a nervous hand through his hair as he tries once more to confess something so important that only Rey will understand.  Because she too knows the teachings of the Sith.  Kylo has thought long and hard about what Rey said in the medibay about the Force striking back at him, about the need for balance.  “Rey, I’m starting to wonder if maybe peace isn’t a lie.  Maybe peace is just hard.”  Rey looks alarmed at him for voicing this blasphemy but he keeps going.  He can’t stop now.  He’s been turning this over and over in his mind for weeks now.  “Peace might be a lie, but I’m starting to want to believe it.  To really want to believe it . . . ”

 

“You have the power to end this war,” Rey whispers.  And he can’t miss the note of hope in her voice. 

 

“I’m trying to end it.  I have to finish this or the deaths of billions will be in vain, Rey.  Hosnia, those systems on the Mid Rim, my family . . . they will all have died for nothing if I lose.  Having Ono and the others like him come out publicly to plead our cause will help.  Plus, we are opening covert dialogue with the insurgents.  But in the end, I’m going to have to win this on the field of battle.”

 

“So you are going to keep killing people until you win?” Rey surmises.  She has a strange look on her face that he can’t place.  Is she disappointed?  Resigned?

 

“Yes.  But this was never about killing people.  Violence is a tool but not the end goal itself.  I do not enjoy it, Rey.”  Does she believe him?  He’s not sure.  He hopes so.   “War is a time of extremes.  Not a time for balance.  Once I win, things will get better.  You’ll see.  In the end, it will all be worth it.”

 

“Are you sure, Kylo?” Rey asks in a small voice.  “Are you sure you are doing the right thing?”    

 

No, he’s not sure.  Not anymore.  Not without his Master to guide him and reinforce him.  He’s even begun to question the most sacred tenets of his teaching and his Master is only dead a few months.  That’s how lost and terrified Kylo Ren secretly is.

 

She sees his hesitation.  “You’re not sure, are you?” she whispers and now Rey looks truly horrified.

 

“I don’t know what the future will bring.  None of this has turned out like I thought it would,” he admits miserably.  It’s why he needs Rey so desperately.  For herself and for her Light.  And so he drags his tired self off the couch and crosses to stand before her.  “I need you, Rey.  I need you in my life.  I know you said we were through, but I need another chance.  For myself.  For the galaxy.  For balance.  Please . . . say you will give us another chance . . .”

 

Rey ignores his plea and refuses to answer.  Instead, she abruptly changes the topic.  But still, the conversation remains just as uncomfortably honest.  “You look terrible,” she informs him bluntly.  “Like you haven’t slept in weeks.  Just terrible, Kylo.”

 

It’s true.  He looks away.  “I can’t sleep.” 

 

There is a long awkward silence.  Then, Rey attempts to kick him out.  “Well, since you’ve seen the Senator, I guess you’re done here.  Goodnight, Kylo.” 

 

She turns to leave, but he catches her hand.  His eyes are searching hers now.  “How are you, Rey?  How are you really?  Are you recovered?  Are you happy here?”

 

Now it’s her turn to look away.  “I am better than you, I think,” Rey answers vaguely.  It makes him wonder a moment if she recognizes his isolation.  He's not in a walker on Jakku, but he is still alone.   Lonely from his rank.  From the weight of his responsibilities.  From his grief.  There’s Nestor but no one else. 

 

Rey now moves past hinting to a blunt request.  “You should go.”

 

No, he’s not leaving.  Not until he says what he came to say.  The trip here to meet with Ono had been a convenient pretext all along.  Kylo is here tonight for Rey.  Ever since she appeared unannounced on the _Finalizer_ bridge, he can’t stop thinking of Rey.  Of her dressed as a princess and making demands.  Of Snoke’s instructions to find her and to find the elusive balance his old Master so craved.  If she truly is the secret to his personal happiness and the harmony of the Force, then he has to try harder with Rey.

 

“Our Master’s death changes nothing.  You are still a part of the Sith family, Rey.  When a Sith ascends, he inherits all that belongs to his Master.   Snoke’s fortune and his library are my assets, his family and his household are my responsibility.   That means you are my responsibility now.”  She opens her mouth to object but Kylo overrides her.  “Rey, we Sith protect and care for our own.   No matter what.  Darth Plagueis would have welcomed home my mother and my uncle at any time.  And you too are welcome to come home at any time.”

 

“Kylo, we’re through—“

 

“Rey,” he holds her gaze.  “Come home to me.  Let’s forgive the mistakes we both have made.  We will let bygones be bygones.”  It’s the same offer he plans to make to Coruscant when the time is ripe.  But tonight, he’s making it to Rey.   Peace.  As ironic as it is, this Sith needs peace.  For himself and for the galaxy.  “Come home to me.  Be mine again.”

 

He holds his breath and waits for her to answer, hoping she won’t ignore the question again.

 

“No,” she turns him down flat.  “I am happy here.  I like Cesi Flick and the girls are fun.  I’ve never been around children much before . . .”  Her voice trails off and Kylo knows it’s because this is a topic that could lead to dangerous territory.   “This is a family, Kylo.  A real family.  Mom, dad, kids, grandpa.  It’s not what I expected, but it’s good all the same.  And I think it’s good for me.  I’m learning . . . a lot.”

 

Kylo bites his tongue to keep from pointing out that he could give her a real family of her own.  He’s a proud man and he won’t beg more than twice tonight.  Yeah . . . he’s disappointed.  But he’s not surprised.  Rey is always choosing other people and other places over him.  This is nothing new.  So tonight, Kylo won’t argue the point to earn himself more rejection.  Instead, he speaks more of their Sith family.   Because Kylo knows that he is not the only one struggling right now.

 

“Milo has been asking about you.  He loved spending that day with you.  You should send Milo some messages, Rey.  Or better yet, go visit him.  He’s lonely without someone to look after.”

 

“Okay, I’ll do that,” Rey agrees straightaway.  She’s always liked Milo, he knows.  “How’s he doing?  Really doing, I mean.”

 

“Badly,” Kylo says bluntly.  “Bad enough that I bought him a new cat.”

 

“You bought him a cat?  Really?”  Rey seems surprised.

 

“He could use the company.  Milo is taking our Master’s loss very hard, Rey.”  As hard as he is, Kylo knows.  “Anyhow, it’s a grey cat with big ears that meows a lot.  He’s calling it Yoda.”

 

“Who’s Yoda?”

 

He forgets that Rey knows very little of the lore of the Force.  So Kylo explains.  “Yoda was my uncle’s very old, very dead Jedi Master.  Look him up sometime—Yoda is all over the holonet.”

 

“Yoda was a Jedi Master?”  Rey can’t suppress her wry smile.  And it’s good to see her smile.  “That’s a strange name for a Sith kitty.”

 

“It is,” Kylo agrees.  “Master Yoda was supposedly obsessively paranoid about the Dark Side.”   He thinks back to his old Master’s irreverent tales of how decades ago, the then secret Sith Darth Plagueis had relished his occasional meetings with the leader of the Jedi High Council.  “Snoke would have loved the name, Rey.  Just loved it.”  Kylo closes his eyes and the words involuntarily fall out his lips.  “I still can’t believe he’s gone . . . but he’s gone . . . “

 

Fuck!  He’s blinking back tears and Rey sees it. 

 

“Kylo—“

 

He abruptly stands and turns away, embarrassed.  But the words keep tumbling out his mouth before he can stop them.  Because he needs to unburden himself of this awful grief to one of the few people who can truly understand.   “Snoke is gone and I am so alone.  It’s worse now than when I was a kid.  Rey, I am the last of my family and the last of the Sith.  This is forever alone . . . I am forever in Darkness alone . . . ”  For of all the fears he has had over the years for his chosen path in life, this was never one of them.  It is the Jedi who live their lives in solitude, not the Sith. 

 

The Dark Side has no prohibitions on attachments, no restrictions on passion.  And yet, he still can’t find the acceptance and belonging he has sought for so long.  He’s Kylo Ren and he rules three-quarters of the galaxy and he’s the reigning Sith Master.  But he is miserable and alone.  And he is a failure.  Because as a Sith, mental and physical pain is supposed to empower him.  But instead, he feels like he is falling apart.  And this war has him questioning everything he has been taught to believe.

 

“Kylo—“  She’s at his side now, reaching for him.  He’s swiping away hot tears.

 

And that’s when the rest of the Flick family arrives home to interrupt.  Nestor plods in with a tired kid limp in his arms and Cesi is leading their loudly complaining oldest by the hand. 

 

Instantly, he and Rey spring apart.   Like they are teenagers caught necking at a party by someone’s parents.   Instead of adults in the midst of a painfully raw emotional scene.  Fuck!  This is awkward.

 

Nestor is pleased and tries to hide it, Cesi looks alarmed and concerned, and one of the kids starts to cry because she is so tired.  “Come on, baby, let’s get these kids to bed before I leave,” Nestor says as he starts shepherding his family out of the room in a hurry.  It’s a blatant attempt to give them privacy.

 

“Nestor, we’re staying,” Kylo calls after them in a still-choked voice that is sort of humiliating.  He swallows and recovers fast.  “We’ll leave in the morning,” he announces in his habitual voice of command.  His friend shoots him a surprised look over his shoulder and Kylo confirms.  “The war can wait for one night.”

 

“Hot damn,” remarks Nestor to his wife.  “Let’s get these kids to bed.  Now, babe.  Then it’s time for you to do your part to keep up morale.” 

 

“I’ll just find some extra sheets and pillows—“ Ever the hostess, Cesi Flick is worried about the sleeping arrangements. 

 

But her husband moves fast to quash that concern.  “No need, Cesi.  Let’s let them figure that out.  Come on.” 

 

"But, Nestor--"

 

"Let it be.  Rey knows where everything is.  Stay out of it."  And now Nestor et al disappear as quickly as possible.

 

Once again, he and Rey are alone.

 

She turns to inform him. “You’re sleeping on the couch.   Better yet, on the shuttle.”

 

“Is that what you want?” he asks, searching her face.

 

“Yes,” she snaps as the oldest Flick girl suddenly marches back into the room.

 

“You are sleeping with Rey,” the little girl announces solemnly.  “You are not sleeping in my room.  And you are too big for the crib.”  Then she turns on heel and runs away.

 

“How can I argue with that?” he smirks.  He’s recovered now and he’s back to his usual obnoxious Sith self.

 

“Kylo—“

 

“I just want to talk, that’s all.”

 

And maybe it’s how truly awful he looks.  Or perhaps it’s the miserable confession he had begun when the Flicks had returned home, but Rey motions him forward.  She looks unconvinced and unenthused, but she agrees.  “Okay.  Just talk.  That’s all.” 

 

“Just talk,” he agrees.  And now, Kylo is beginning to get it.  The sturm und drang of their relationship isn't all that new actually.   And Rey sees it too.

 

“So this is what we do?” she asks with a tired sigh as together they plod into the small, sad room that she calls her own.  “We fight and we part and then you come back to apologize?  Is that it?”

 

“And then you sleep with me,” he adds hopefully.

 

Rey shoots him a sharp look.  “I'm not sleeping with you.  We are sharing a room.  There’s a difference.  And if you can’t accept that, you can take the couch for tonight.  Or the shuttle.”

 

Her instant vehemence tells him he’s pressing his luck.  He stands down.  “Easy, baby.  Your virtue is safe. For tonight at least.”

 

“In your dreams, Sith.”  Rey is not amused and fast losing patience with him.   

 

But he can’t help himself.  “Oh, I dream about it all the time, Rey,” he leers.  “All the time.”  It’s true, actually.

 

“Fine.  I’ll take the couch.”  Rey makes to brush past him and out the door, but he intercepts her. 

 

“Stay, Rey.  I promise to behave.”  He drops his posturing.  “I just want to talk.  We need to talk.”

 

She eyes him a moment before she relents.  “You’re exhausting.  Did you know that?”

 

Yeah, he kinda did.  Chastised, he meekly lies down beside a fully clothed Rey and starts to talk.  About the war.  About his fears that he will be Sidious all over again, except without Vader as an Apprentice to help.   About his worries that the First Order, like the Empire that inspired it, will be a brief shining moment of galactic unity before things fall apart again in twenty years.  As the night drags on, the conversation gets more personal and less political.  Now, he talks about Snoke.  About his fears for the future of the Sith and his need for an Apprentice.    About how he’s not sad that his uncle is dead but he’s not sure how he feels about his mother.  She was his mother, after all.  His earliest memories are of Leia Organa.  He tells Rey that he has no idea what balance in the Force means but that his Master thought it involved her.  Old Darth Plagueis had been the consummate Sith so how can he ever figure out what his Master himself failed to understand after hundreds of years spent studying the Force?  Kylo worries he will never reach a fraction of old Snoke’s power and wisdom.  That he will be a failure and the proud tradition of the Sith will crash and burn to a bitter end with him. 

 

Rey sits and listens as he keeps going on and on.  Every now and then, she speaks up.  Hours go by as they discuss everything except themselves and their dead baby. 

 

Oddly enough, that night Kylo sleeps better than he has in months.  Is it because he has cleared the air somewhat with Rey?  Or maybe it is the proximity of her Light?  Or perhaps it's just the homey atmosphere of the Flick household that helps him relax?  But for whatever reason, Kylo is fast asleep with Rey at his inside until at some point in the night someone little grabs his leg and yanks hard to pull herself up. Then she scrambles roughshod over him to nestle between him and Rey, dragging some ragged and smelly blanket over his face in the process.

 

"Huh?"  Kylo rouses and reflexively reaches for his saber before he realizes there is no danger.  Which one is this?  In the dark, Kylo can't tell which little blonde Flick girl this is. 

 

"Move over," she complains in her little girl voice as she kicks him hard. "You're in my spot."

 

It’s just as well that he never put the moves on Rey tonight because a few hours later just before dawn, another little Flick shows up.  And that not only makes the bed very crowded, but it provokes an argument. 

 

"Nooo!  This is my bed.  Go away!  You're supposed to go sleep with Mommy.  I sleep with Rey."

 

"Mommy's door won't work.  It never works when Daddy is home."

 

Kylo hears an indelicate snort from the other side of the bed that tells him that Rey is awake and listening.

 

"Did you tell Mommy it was broken?"

 

"Yes.  She said she was busy and to go find Rey.  Rey, can you fix Mommy's door?"

 

"Yes, but not now," comes Rey’s drowsy, soft voice.

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because I am sleeping."

 

"Will it be broken forever?"

 

"Just until Daddy leaves," Rey answers.  And now it's Kylo's turn to snort.

 

Early in the morning, the whole Flick clan is ready to troop down to the landing pad to bid Daddy Flick adieu.  Three bleary eyed little girls in matching nightgowns like stair steps follow their yawning mother.   It's all so chaotic and wholesome, Kylo observes.  The way a family is supposed to be.  Rey says she will stay behind from the big send off to do the breakfast dishes.  She doesn't want to intrude, that's clear.  And now Kylo decides to stay behind too. 

 

"I'll catch up with you in a minute," Kylo tells Nestor as he lingers behind in the doorway.  He stalks back into the kitchen to find Rey.  He’s in a ridiculously happy mood this morning.  Maybe it’s Rey, maybe it’s all the sleep, or maybe it’s the complete mental break from war.   But Kylo hasn’t felt this good in ages.  It’s got him loose and cocky. 

 

He steps up behind Rey close.  She’s rinsing dishes at the sink.  “Afraid that I was going to leave without a goodbye kiss?” he croons in her ear.

 

Rey scoffs and mutters, “I’d just as soon kiss a wookiee.”

 

That retort makes him chuckle a little.  “Well, there’s no wookiee here, Rey.  Just me.  And you owe me a kiss for lying about Hux.  A real kiss.”

 

She turns around and shoots him a glare.  But her anger quickly melts away.  She sighs and seems resigned.  "Look, you need to move on, Kylo.  We can still be friends.  Anytime you want to talk, you know where to find me.  But you need to find someone else--"

 

"There will never be another you," he interrupts as he closes the scant distance between them, dragging her into his arms for a thorough kiss.  This is the attraction he has felt for Rey since the beginning on Jakku.  He knows it is mutual. "I know you feel it too," he breaths into her ear when finally he comes up for air. "You are drawn to my Darkness as I am drawn to your Light,” he pants out his words.  “Stop pretending."   And then he dives in for another endless kiss.  Because if one kiss is good, two is better.  He’s a Sith and he always wants more.  “Come back with me,” he renews his offer from last night again.  “Come to my ship for a few days.”

 

Rey says nothing.  Is she overwhelmed by his moves, annoyed by his persistence, or just playing hard to get?

 

He’s a ruthless Sith, and his kind are determined by nature.  Kylo keeps pressing his case as he drops kisses down her jawline.  “Come back with me on the shuttle.”  He coats his words with some heavy suggestion in the Force.  Because he’s not above a little Dark manipulation to get Rey back. 

 

But she’s a strong-minded girl, so of course it doesn’t work.  “No, Kylo,” she sighs.  “We’re through . . . “ But her words have no bite because she is letting him suckle her neck now as his hands roam freely.

 

“I’ll lie to anyone who will listen about Hux,” he promises.   “Come back with me and I’ll put a statue in his honor in the hangar bay.”

 

That irreverence provokes a response.  “Oh, get off!”  Rey thrusts him back.   She’s got her arms crossed over her chest, a dishtowel still in her hand, a scowl on her face, and her back to a sink full of dishes.  Rey looks like some angry Jedi housewife. 

 

It makes him laugh.  “Don’t get excited,” he smirks.

 

And now her scowl deepens.  “Kylo, being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited.”

 

Now he’s grinning.  Because he knows a lie when he hears one.  “Sorry, Princess, but I haven’t got time for anything else.  The shuttle is waiting.  Are you coming?  Please say you are coming.”

 

“No.” 

 

Yeah . . . he thought not.  But Kylo Ren has never been one to give up easily.  “I’ll let you take all the showers you want,” he cajoles.  “You can spout eulogies to Hux on the bridge at will.  You can roam the ship and fix everything in sight.  Give me two days, Rey.  Think of it as a star destroyer staycation.”

 

Rey shoots him a pained look.  “Don’t you have a war to fight?” 

 

“Peace, Rey.  I’m not fighting a war any longer.  I’m winning the peace.”  Some might think that’s just semantics, but for a Sith that distinction is very real. 

 

He and Rey are interrupted when Senator Ono wanders in to refill his cup of caf.  The moment is broken and Kylo takes his leave.  He goes home to the _Finalizer_ alone, like he had expected.   But it was worth a try.  Still, Kylo is satisfied and hopeful now in a way he hasn't been for a long time.   He’s going to win Coruscant and win back Rey, Kylo decides.   He will make peace in the public sphere and in his private life.  And then, he hopes, he will he truly have it all. 


	50. Chapter 50

An old man with a wizened, long face and flowing dark robes looks her over.  He is unimpressed by Rey's casual attire and ponytail.   His brow furrows as he looks over her shoulder to Milo standing behind.  "This is the Palpatine princess?" he asks.

 

"Yes," Milo answers curtly in a quelling tone.   "For her safety, the princess is currently living incognito with allies."

 

“Yes, of course.”  The old man nods and looks her over once more before bowing low.  "Welcome, Princess, to Mustafar Castle.  Home to Lord Vader.  I am the caretaker Vanee."

 

"This is the Skywalker castle,” Milo corrects with a tight smile.   “And it is home to the reigning Sith Master and his family."  Milo turns now to Rey.  "This is your home too, Princess, should you wish it."

 

"This is just a visit," Rey reminds Milo for the third time since their shuttle passed through the dual shield gates that surround the super-secret, uninhabited lava planet Mustafar.  "I'm not staying."

 

"Yes, my dear.  So you have said.”  Milo catches her eyes sweeping over the fearsome volcanic terrain of Mustafar.  “Impressive, is it not?  Much has happened here through the years, Princess.  From the end of the Clone Wars to battles with the Jedi.  This is an important place.”

 

“It is very . . . isolated,” Rey is searching for the right words to describe the forbidding looking dark castle that sits atop a dammed lava river to produce a dramatic waterfall of molten rock.  “It’s a bit . . . uh . . . “

 

“Yes?” inquires Vanee.

 

“Hellish,” Rey finishes lamely. 

 

Vanee looks taken aback but Milo chuckles.  “Yes, it is very Sith, is it not?”  He leans in to confide, “Our old Master laughed out loud when he first saw this place.   He appreciated the melodrama of Mustafar.”

 

Milo ushers her in and steps right past Vanee, taking charge.  “Let me show you around."

 

Vader’s castle looks massive from the outside, but within it’s actually rather modest in size.  Rey sees that the living areas are all intimate, like Snoke’s lair deep within his bunker.  Nothing is grand in scale or in décor, so this must have been a private place.  A retreat of some sort, she surmises, and not a place to conduct routine business. 

 

Almost all the rooms have floor to ceiling windows that make the castle's dramatic exterior surroundings the focal point.  By contrast, the interior furnishings are unremarkable and soothing in color, shape and texture.  Everywhere is the monochromatic look of quiet, lived-in luxury.  It is an oddly zen place that strikes Rey as weirdly Jedi in some way she can’t quite put her finger on.  And for a castle in the middle of a volcanic Hell, it’s strangely homey.  Altogether, it’s utterly bizarre and fascinating.  And that makes sense, Rey thinks.  For the Sith men she has known—Snoke and Kylo—were both compelling in their own ways.  Perhaps Lord Vader was no different.

 

Here and there, Rey recognizes some of the paintings and objets d'art the old Muun had collected through his long lifetime.  Only the most valuable pieces have been relocated here, Milo explains as they walk through the living areas of the castle.   The rest are at peripheral locations he tells her.  Whatever that means.  All this change is apparently not sitting well with the old caretaker Vanee who trails in their wake as Milo conducts the tour.   It doesn't take long for Rey to realize that Vanee feels usurped.  For after each explanation Milo provides, Vanee volunteers up his own competing version.    It is a series of points and counterpoints that form a sort of polite bickering.  Clearly, Milo and Vanee do not get along. 

 

Apparently, this is a longstanding situation dating back to their days as coworkers for Lord Vader.  Rey learns that Vanee had been the senior of the two men in charge of Lord Vader's household.  Milo had been something of a spy for the then exiled Lord Plagueis.  Lord Sidious had inherited Milo and then cast him off to his Apprentice.   It had been a stroke of fortune for Snoke to have Milo so closely placed to his long-lost secret son.   That situation had been fine for the twenty-odd years Milo had lived ‘undercover,’ but now decades later long after Milo has been revealed as the personal assistant to the senior Sith Darth Plagueis himself, Vanee still likes to order Milo around.   It does not sit well with Milo who has recently taken up residence on Mustafar along with a great deal of old Snoke's stuff. 

 

"Look at him--traipsing around dressed like Sheev," Milo sniffs when Vanee briefly departs to attend to something.  "You'd think he was the Sith who owned this castle and not the caretaker.   Vanee was always putting on airs, even back in the day."

 

“How is he possibly alive after all these years?” Rey wants to know.   Because the timeline of events she has been told puts Vanee at a very, very advanced age.

 

“His life has been extended in the Force the same as mine has,” Milo answers.  “When a band of rebels tried to infiltrate the castle in the days after Endor, Vanee organized an effective defense.  He then informed the Rebellion that Luke Skywalker was welcome to come claim his inheritance, but no ordinary rebel scum could dare set foot in Lord Vader’s home.   Lord Plagueis rewarded his loyalty with some of his Dark magic.”  The old retainer frowns.  “It was probably the only ill-advised act my old Master ever did.”

 

Milo does his grumbling only to Rey.  When moments later Vanee returns, Milo reverts to his glacial dignity that the old caretaker matches in return.   Rey wants to laugh at this contest of wills masked in passive aggressive formal politeness.   These are two men who refuse to lower themselves to actually argue with one another.  But their conflict is very evident. 

 

After showing her the living areas, Milo conducts Rey through the Master’s chambers.  These are a series of rooms for the Sith himself.  An office, a medical chamber to see to Lord Vader’s constant therapeutic needs, a lounge area, and a bedroom.   The rooms are every bit as dark and as sleek as the pictures she has seen of Vader’s mask.  Rey has no difficulty imagining the Imperial Sith warlord inhabiting this space. 

 

She pauses a moment in front of what must be Lord Vader’s closet.  The alcove is mostly open shelving with armor and various versions of interchangeable artificial limbs to choose among.  Both left and right arms and left and right legs.  Rey is a bit taken aback.  How little flesh and blood had been left of this Sith lord, Rey wonders?  “He was more machine than man,” she realizes.

 

“No,” old Vanee corrects her sharply.  He’s offended.  “There was a man under that mask and armor.  A person like you and I, Princess.”

 

“Yes,” Milo agrees, and it’s the first thing today that the two men have agreed upon.  Lord Vader might just be the only thing Milo and Vanee agree on, Rey realizes.  “The Sith are not cold by nature, like the Jedi.  They are as hot blooded as the rest of us, usually more so, since emotions fuel their power.  Rey, Lord Vader had hopes and fears, wants and needs, pet peeves and pleasures, like the rest of us.   He was no heartless machine.   Quite the contrary.”

                                                

Rey walks over to finger one of several elegant black wool capes that still hang in the closet.  She trails her finger over the metal chain clasp.  This was Darth Vader’s cape won to rule the galaxy.  “Kylo should wear this,” she says softly.  “He’s earned it.”  He killed his Jedi and earned his Darth title.  And ascended to Sith Master in the process.   Yes, his grandfather would be proud.

 

“Perhaps in time, he will agree to wear them,” Vanee says hopefully.  “He knows they are here.  Come, let me show you Lord Vader’s prized possession.”  The old caretaker conducts Rey into the bedroom, past an enormous bed over which looms a portrait of a young woman dressed in an intricate white lace gown. 

 

Rey looks questioningly to Milo, but it is Vanee who that provides the explanation.  “Lady Vader on her wedding day.” That information prompts Rey to take a second look.  The woman in the portrait wears a lace cap with a veil that covers her hair.   Long brown curls trail out from beneath.   The woman faces forward with her head turned aside and her eyes slightly downcast.  She looks more sad than demure. Her hands clasp a haphazard bouquet of white flowers.    

 

“Lord Vader missed her terribly,” Milo says to break the silence.

 

“Indeed,” Vanee intones. 

 

“Snoke said that there are no happy endings on the Dark Side,” Rey remembers.  “Not yet, at least.”  She frowns.  The painting of the long dead Sith wife gives her the creeps.  Rey has no desire to end up like doomed Lady Vader or murdered Lady Plagueis or whatever awful demise Lady Sidious must have met in the end.  Being a Sith's lady is fraught with risk, Rey sees.  And this Sith princess is determined to avoid a tragic end for herself.  She hasn't survived Jakku and come this far to end up martyred for Kylo Ren’s ambitions. 

 

Seeing her aversion, Milo moves on to show her the bedroom next to the Master’s chambers.  "Your things from the bunker are all here."   Sure enough, Rey's fancy princess wardrobe and grooming droid await her.  Even her old datapad from the bunker is laying on the bedside table.  Much of Snoke's bunker has been moved to the castle, she learns.  From the old Sith's prized library, to his office, to his extensive wine collection.  

 

Rey is listening to Milo speak on the history of Mustafar castle--how it was a gift to Lord Vader from his Master Sidious--when in wanders the newest Sith kitty with a loud meow.   Master Yoda brushes past first her ankle and then Milo’s in a shameless bid for a pet.  Milo scoops up the cat to rest in the crook of his arm and accompany them on the tour.  Rey is charmed.  She reaches to stroke the little creature who instantly starts to purr.  Master Yoda does indeed have big ears, she sees, just as Kylo had said.

 

"Lord Vader would never have approved of a cat," Vanee sniffs.  Even the Sith kitty is a point of contention apparently. 

 

"Why not?" Rey asks. 

 

"Lord Vader was not a cuddly sort of man," Vanee replies in his careful, stentorian tones.  He raises an eyebrow in Milo's direction.   "Unlike others."

 

"Shhh or Master Yoda will hear you," Rey teases, attempting to lighten the mood. 

 

But Vanee does not let up.  "That name is highly inappropriate."

 

"Which is precisely why I chose it," Milo retorts.    “Come, let me show you the library, Rey.  I converted it from an unused bedroom.”

 

Like the bedroom full of her old belongings, the library too seems to be a close version to the room it mimics from Snoke’s bunker.  Rey stops on the threshold, contemplating the familiar paperbound books of various sizes and shapes, each fragile due to age and encased in a protective cover.   These are the Archives of the Sith, handed down from Master to Apprentice for generations.  Like the library at the bunker, this room is a cozy place, with soft lighting and a plush rug underfoot.  Inviting you to sit and to peruse the mysteries of the Shadow Force.  Looking about, it is very easy to picture her old Master here late at night pouring over an ancient text and musing about Darkness.

 

"It seems like he should be here," Rey says softly and with a slight catch in her throat. 

 

Milo's face looks bleak as he agrees, “Yes.  Darth Plagueis the Wise was always studying his books. Always seeking knowledge.”

 

"He never taught me Kittat," Rey remembers aloud with regret.  “He said he would teach me.”

 

"I can teach you, Princess.  Or the Master, of course."

 

Rey now circles the small reference table in the center of the room.  "I saw Kylo last week,” she confides to Milo.  “Kylo came to the compound to see Grandp—Senator Ono."

 

"How is our Master?"  Milo’s tone betrays how concerned he is.

 

And so Rey tells the truth, ignoring Vanee’s presence.  "He's awful, Milo.  He looks terrible and he's so . . . so . . . "

 

"Lonely," Milo finishes for her.  And the way Milo says this makes Rey realize he's speaking as much of himself as he is of Kylo.   "Lord Ren is taking our Master's death very hard, Rey.  Lord Plagueis was a father to him."

 

"I know."

 

"That relationship is why Lord Plagueis created the Skywalkers,” Milo explains softly.  “My old Master had several Apprentices through the years.  They all betrayed him in one fashion or another.  Betrayal has long been the tradition of the Sith since Bane's reforms to create the Rule of Two.   The Apprentice learns all he can until he overtakes the Master or dies trying."

 

Milo sighs heavily and then continues.  "Lord Plagueis lived through that tradition several times.  He came to view it as a waste, Rey.  He would invest years training an Apprentice only to lose him.  All except Sidious, of course.  Lord Plagueis would have much preferred to have an Apprentice as an ally rather than a foe-in-the-making.  Creating a family dynasty in the Force was his solution.  He hoped that the kinship relationship would create lasting bonds and suppress some of the natural rivalries and conflicts between Sith.  He told Sidious that he created Anakin Skywalker in the Force by accident, but there were no accidents where Darth Plagueis was concerned.  Lord Vader was created to supplant and surpass Lord Sidious.  Our old Master wanted a son as his Apprentice."

 

“You mean he wanted an Apprentice who would love him?” she asks.

 

“Yes.”

 

Rey looks away, thinking of the needy Sith Apprentice she knows who had found in Darth Plagueis a father and a mentor he greatly admired and, yes, loved.  "It worked with Kylo."

 

Milo nods.  "Circumstances prevented it with Lord Vader and again with the Jedi Skywalker.  Kylo Ren was the Sith son Lord Plagueis had waited several generations for.”   Milo gives her a sad smile.  "The Skywalkers were meant to care for one another, not to kill each other.  Lord Plagueis intended his progeny to support and help each other.  So that together they would achieve power and victory.”  Milo shakes his head slightly with regret now.   “I’m afraid that Lord Plagueis learned the hard way that not all families get along." 

 

"All the Skywalkers have done is destroy their family and destroy the galaxy,” Rey finishes for him.  She looks away as she reveals, “Kylo told me that he wants peace."

 

Milo nods.  "I don't doubt it, Rey.  Kylo Ren has always wanted to finish what his grandfather started."

 

"Vader wanted peace?"  She’s surprised.

 

Vanee speaks up now.   “Yes.  Lord Vader wanted peace and order.  Not all would agree with his means, but no one could fault his goal.  He was a man who came of age during a time of war.  It left an indelible mark on him.  He saw democracy fail, and so he went seeking an alternative.”

 

“That is true,” Milo agrees.  Yet again, Lord Vader’s plight is the only thing the two men can agree upon.  "You should send Lord Ren some messages, Rey,” Milo encourages her.  “Or better yet, go visit him.  He loved it when you dropped by his ship."

 

This response makes Rey smile a little.  It reminds her of Kylo's advice about helping to cheer up the grieving Milo.   Each man is concerned about the other, it seems.   And that’s endearing to Rey.  There is more to this Sith family business than merely words, she knows. 

 

"Kylo already asked me to return with him,” she confides some more.   “I refused.   It would give him the wrong idea, Milo.  We are not . . . together."

 

Milo digests this news.  "If you will not see him, perhaps you could help him."

 

"How?" she asks.

 

"Be the Sith princess again."  Milo shrugs sheepishly now.  “It would help me too, Rey.  And it would make Darth Plagueis proud.”

 

“I’ll think about it,” Rey defers her answer yet again.  Milo doesn’t press the point.

 

As together she and Milo walk back to the shuttle to leave, Rey leans in.  "Please don't take this the wrong way," Rey says as gently as she can because she means no offense. "But I am never living here.   I can't live here."    She won't live in this isolated fortress full of yesteryear's regrets.  There is nothing here but the past, Rey thinks.  And it is a mournful, bitter past best left behind.  Like the ships graveyard on Jakku.

 

Maybe Kylo has the right idea, Rey muses, by trying to make a break with his time-honored teachings.  For too long, Rey thinks, his family has been prisoners of the past.  Trapped by the conflicts and manifestos of their chosen ideologies and bereft of so many of their own due to the resulting violence and war.  Rey is glad that she left Crait when she did.  She wouldn't have wanted to have witnessed the death of Leia Organa or the mutual destruction of Luke Skywalker and Snoke.  And she doesn't envy Kylo left alone, desperately trying to make sense of what happened so that he can create a better future. 

 

Had Lord Vader been watching in the Force to see his father and his grandson kill his son?   Are all the dead Skywalkers now one with the Force but bickering and fighting still?   Rey fervently hopes that one of them is watching over Kylo from afar and cheering him on.  Because visiting Mustafar castle today has brought home to her all the awful drama of the Skywalkers.  One by one, from Snoke to Vader to the Skywalker twins, each had struggled but failed to achieve their goals, although each in their own way had come close.  And now, this horrendous legacy falls to Kylo alone.   It’s no wonder he is struggling, Rey thinks.

 

When she returns to the compound that evening, Nestor Ren has just returned home from Coruscant with the family's longtime housekeeper newly liberated from an internment camp.  The kids are screeching with joy and Cesi and the housekeeper are crying happy tears of relief in each other's arms.  It's a heartfelt reunion between this poor woman imprisoned by accident of war and the family who so depends on her.   Rey just stands on the perimeter, watching it all. 

 

The housekeeper is a no-nonsense, tidy woman of advanced middle age who gets to work immediately organizing everyone and everything.   It takes only a few days for Rey to see that she herself is now needed around the Flick house a lot less.  And that gets Rey thinking about where else she might be needed.   After turning it over in her head a few days, Rey types Milo a message. 

 

_How is Master Yoda?_

_He enjoyed meeting you.  Yoda knows a cat person when he meets one._

_I think I'm ready to be the Sith princess again, Milo._

_I'm very glad to hear that.  How soon can you start?_

_Name the day._

_How about tomorrow?_

 

And thus resumes Rey's gig as the princess-figurehead-stand-in-head-of-state of the First Order.  Four days a week, Rey meets Milo at the compound landing pad to board a shuttle and transform into the Sith Princess while enroute to a bunker somewhere.   Once or twice, she even makes a public appearance under heavy security on a First Order world to christen a new star destroyer or to cut a ribbon at a new hospital for wounded veterans.   It's one feel good task after another intended to celebrate the First Order and to make people happy.  It makes Rey happy too.  It gives her something to do and something to look forward to. 

 

It also keeps her from dwelling on all the contented chaos of the Flick clan.  Because the more time Rey spends in Nestor and Cesi's household, the more she begins to appreciate all that they have.  Cesi might worry about the war and the size of her thighs, but she is absolutely adored by Nestor, who depends on her to keep life going while he is away.   The girls are a handful, sassy as can be and exhausting, but endearing and fun too.  And despite all the uncertainty of the future and the stress of the war, there is a lot of love.  And that love, together with Nestor's commitment to his family and Cesi's take charge grit, makes Rey think the Flick family can weather almost anything.  They are a team, Rey sees, and it makes her a bit jealous.   To her, they are the luckiest, most blessed people in the galaxy.  

 

This is what the Skywalker family should have been, she realizes.   This is why old Darth Plagueis had conjured up Anakin Skywalker in the womb of a slave woman on Tatooine.   For this love, for this commitment, for this bond that stands the test of time and weathers separations and hardship.  It’s so commonplace and everyday, and yet so elusive and special.   Fame, fortune and the Force can’t buy you this happiness.   You have to discover it, Rey thinks, maybe even work for it, and then sacrifice to keep it. 

 

This is where the Skywalkers have gone wrong.  First the Jedi had outright rejected love and then the Sith had prioritized power above it.   Lonely orphan Rey of Jakku knows how empty life is when lived devoid of attachments.  And today’s visit to Mustafar castle painfully made clear that there is not enough power in the universe to compensate for lost love.  One look at Darth Vader’s wife’s creepy portrait bears testament to that fact. 

 

Is this what it means to be the Chosen Ones?  To be gifted with the Force, burdened by ideals, and torn apart by ambition?   To replicate dysfunction and pain generation after generation?  It’s no wonder Kylo wants to find a way out of it all.  For himself and for the galaxy.  He tells Rey that she is the key and that scares her.  Truly scares her.  For she knows enough now to know how dangerous it is to love a Sith.   And how tempting.

 

 


	51. Chapter 51

It’s no accident that the First Order has powerful friends, including an impressive roster of prominent business leaders and politicians on its payroll.   Leader Snoke bought influence far and wide across the galaxy the way he had once bought and sold the Senate during the years leading up to the Clone Wars.  His strategy was classic Darth Plagueis--a combination of the carrot and the stick.  The carrot part is easy--business deals, political favors, prestigious appointments, or outright payments of cash.  But with the carrot comes the sharp stick, for the Supreme Leader never made any sort of investment without a means to mitigate his risk.  And so, he collected embarrassing hidden secrets and other leverage to secure his graft.   Thereby ensuring that no one could ever painlessly extricate themselves from allegiance to the First Order.   The devious Sith Darth Plagueis would have made an excellent crime lord, Kylo has often thought, were his ambitions less high minded.   For his old Master excelled at blackmail.

 

The foresight of old Snoke's web of influence is paying dividends of late as Kylo Ren begins calling in favors.  Senator Ono and a host of other prominent New Republic politicians now flood the holonet talk shows to admit begrudgingly to shortcomings of the old regime.  In the same breath, they laud many of the First Order's stated goals.   They do not agree with the First Order's methods, these stealth proponents are quick to add, but they can appreciate the Supreme Leader’s ambitions.  If only the First Order would value the democratic process.  Then, they contend, the galaxy would have the best of both the Old Republic and the Empire.  Then, we could all be happy. 

 

This incessant talk from many sources over a period of weeks is intended to form the basis for a compromise.  And this is the path forward that Kylo Ren desperately needs.  For wars by their nature are polarizing.  Us versus them.  That's fine if the solution is found through destruction of the enemy.  If ultimately, we win and you lose.   But for the newly minted Sith Master who has begun to question whether he can truly win through destruction, a middle ground is necessary.  Well, not really a middle ground.  Just the appearance of a middle ground. 

 

In this case, the middle ground will be a new Galactic Senate.  It's both a nod to the past and a whiff of democracy in an otherwise autocratic regime.  This time around, the Outer Rim worlds will have more representation in a nod to the power base of the First Order.  But the Core and the home systems of the New Republic will have their own seat at the table.  And so what if the Senate will have weak constitutional powers and little true authority?  It's still a democratically elected body and a huge symbolic concession to the First Order’s critics.

 

His PR types have it all planned out.  Once the First Order wins on Coruscant, Kylo Ren will announce the death of Snoke and his ascension to Supreme Leader.   He will also announce his intention to form a Senate.  Then, he will offer the rest of the Core Worlds peace under the rule of the First Order and its Galactic Senate. 

 

He plots to blame the Starkiller and the bloody excesses of the Mid Rim campaign and the siege of Coruscant on Hux and Snoke.  Kylo Ren was only following orders back then.  But he is in charge now and that explains this newfound willingness to treat for peace.  Yeah . . . he's not above throwing his old Master under the bus if it will win him the rest of the Core.  Old Plagueis won't mind, Kylo figures.  Somewhere lurking one with the Force is the old Muun who understands that a Sith will do anything for power, even seeking peace. 

 

Peace is hard, Kylo now knows.  And he's going to be damned pissed if he achieves peace only to find that it truly is a lie.   Kylo wants his peace to last.   He’s grown tired of war. 

 

Wars are not caused by a failure to listen, they are caused by opposing views that cannot be easily reconciled.  Someone has to compromise to avert war.   And even then, there are no assurances for peace.  For history is full of well-intentioned leaders who made concessions before claiming they had achieved peace in their time, only to watch in stunned silence as the enemy’s tanks rolled in.  But once war has begun, someone either has to lose or comprise for it to end.  Kylo is willing to take either outcome--be it victory or the surrender of the Resistance.  But since victory is the slower path currently, Kylo decides to green light the recommendation to engage in covert talks with the enemy.   

 

If the talks go well, a ceasefire could be in the works.   And, really, that might be just as good as winning outright on Coruscant.  But if the talks fail, then the First Order will leak their version of the peace talks to the press and show the galaxy how reasonable they are of late.   For Kylo keeps reminding everyone on his PR staff that the underlying message is simple:   we are not the bad guys you think we are.   This is his chance to rebrand the kinder, gentler First Order.  Yes, we are going to make the galaxy great again.  If you surrender now, we promise that everyone will be better off.  It’s a page out of Palpatine’s playbook.  Because once more the Sith will rule the galaxy and we shall have peace.

 

He needs someone good to lead the peace talks with the Resistance.  But there are no generals around who he both respects and trusts with this delicate matter.   So Kylo turns to the man he always turns to--Nestor Ren. 

 

* * *

 

Rey attired as her Princess Renata alter ego is exiting yet another secret First Order bunker when she and Milo are held up.  The hallway is suddenly crowded as a large group under heavy guard begins to pass.   Rey sees several high-ranking officers, a squad of stormtroopers, and Nestor Ren at the forefront.  In their midst are several men in Resistance uniforms and a purpled-haired woman in a gray New Republic uniform. 

 

Rey blinks at this incongruous sight.  Are these prisoners?

 

“Princess,” Nestor nods respectfully to her as he passes. 

 

His greeting must confirm the purple-haired woman’s suspicions.  She stops short and it causes all those around her to halt.  The woman eyes Rey with interest.  "Are you the sister we've heard about?" she demands imperiously.

 

Milo hastens to intercede and usher her past.  "Right this way, Princess."  

 

But Rey holds her ground as she looks past the New Republic woman to spy a familiar face not seen for many long months.

 

"Poe?" Rey asks the dark-haired man standing beside the woman.   "Poe Dameron, is that you?"   It has to be him.  Same jacket.  Same dashing, ‘I’m-up-for-anything’ demeanor. 

 

"Uhhh . . . "   Poe squints at her and stares a long moment before recognition dawns.  For dressed as the regal Sith princess, Rey looks nothing like the quiet, mousy mechanic-turned-pilot Poe Dameron had briefly and only slightly known.  "Rey?" he asks tentatively as he blinks at her.  "Rey, the pilot from Jakku?"

 

“Yes.”  She nods.  "Are you a prisoner?"  Instantly, Rey sees that she has spoken out of turn.  Poe and the other Resistance members bristle and one of the First Order officers has the effrontery to laugh out loud. 

 

Nestor Ren speaks up as he shoots the chuckling, obnoxious major a hard look.   "Princess, these are the Resistance representatives here for the ceasefire negotiations.  Unofficial, of course."   

 

"New Republic," snaps the purple-haired woman.  "I am a New Republic representative." 

 

“Ceasefire?  You are negotiating for peace?” Rey asks Nestor with wide-eyes.  He nods and she’s impressed.  Really impressed.  Because peace talks are not the usual First Order tactics.  Typically, the First Order issues public ultimatums backed up by the threat of force that they always carry through on.  Actual negotiated solutions are not Kylo Ren’s style.  Until now, she sees.  And it has her encouraged.  Maybe all Kylo’s talk of wanting peace is sincere after all.   

 

Rey turns back to Poe.  "How is Jessika Pava?" she asks, remembering the good-natured young woman who had taught Rey to fix her hair during late night gab sessions in the Resistance women's dorm.  Rey has wondered off and on about how her pilot girlfriend has fared.

 

Poe looks away a moment before answering.  "Rey, she's dead.   Jessika got shot down over Coruscant on the first day of the siege.  She made it out of Crait but died that same day at Coruscant."

 

"Oh,” Rey grimaces before adding a weak and inadequate, “I'm sorry.  Really sorry."  Resistance pilots don’t have a long life expectancy, Rey knows.  Jessika had known that too.  But still, Rey is taken aback.  She probably shouldn’t be, but she is.  Because one more person Rey knew and cared about has been sacrificed to this war.

 

Poe nods.  "Yeah.  She was leading blue squadron.  Jessika was Blue Leader.  Rey, we all thought you were dead with everyone else at the Kardura outpost.  What are you doing here with the First Order?  Why are dressed like that?"   He looks past her to the neatly but nondescriptly uniformed Milo and adds, “Who are you here?”

 

How does she answer that?   Rey never gets a chance.  The New Republic lady speaks up for her.  "She must be the princess sister Intel wrote that report about.  Poe, this is Kylo Ren's sister.  She fits the description perfectly."

 

Poe looks alarmed and concerned.  "Rey, is that true?"

 

"You don't have to answer that," Milo interjects. 

 

But Rey answers.  She feels she owes Poe an answer.  "Yes, it's true."   From a certain point of view, it is true.  She is Snoke's daughter, if by informal adoption.  And Kylo was Snoke’s great-grandson, but treated as his own son.  So, she and Kylo are quasi Sith siblings.  Not exactly and not by blood relation, but yeah, they are family.   Kind of.   Not all families are the traditional married mom and dad with kids like the Flicks.  Some families have bonds forged by circumstance and not by blood and marriage.

 

"You are Kylo Ren's sister?”  Poe is looking to her for confirmation.  He looks stunned.  “But Rey--you were one of us--you were Master Luke's new Jedi student--"

 

"I always wanted to go home to Jakku, Poe.  You know that.  It's why I never joined the Resistance.   Not really."

 

The pilot’s brow furrows as he objects, "Yes, you did.  You ran supplies for us for months all over the Mid Rim--"

 

"Poe--"  Rey is starting to regret initiating this conversation.  Because aside from Nestor and Milo who know the truth of her past, the rest of those present do not.  Well, not until now. 

 

Poe is still disbelieving.  "The First Order had a bounty on your head.  A big bounty.  When they dropped it, we all figured it was because you were dead with the rest at Kardura—that Kylo Ren had killed you like General Leia and Master Luke had warned all along--"

 

"I survived Kardura."

 

“But it was a massacre,” Poe replies softly.  “They executed everyone.”

 

"Except her.”  The New Republic woman stares Rey down with narrowed eyes.  “Poe, she was a spy.  And a good one apparently if she fooled the Jedi." 

 

"So you were lying to us the whole time?"   The best pilot in the Resistance looks confused and vaguely disappointed.

 

That expression deepens when Rey contends, "I never lied to anyone about who I was."

 

"Well, that's a lie right there," the purple-haired lady snaps back.  And now Rey is really starting to dislike that woman. 

 

"I don't understand." Poe looks more angry than confused now. 

 

Rey tries to explain.  "Back then, I didn't know who I was, Poe.  Master Luke either didn't know or he didn't tell me the whole truth and--"

 

"Jedi don't lie," the New Republic lady interrupts. 

 

Beside Rey, Milo lets out an uncharacteristic snort but says nothing.

 

Rey steps forward.  She’s not sure why it matters, but she wants Poe to believe her.  Because despite the web of lies that the First Order believes about her, Rey wants this man to know the truth.  "Poe, I never lied to anyone at the Resistance    Not to Leia Organa or Master Luke.  I answered every question they asked truthfully."

 

"You expect us to believe that?" her Resistance friend asks.

 

Rey frowns as she answers somewhat sheepishly.  "No.  But I hope you do.  Because it's the truth.  And the truth matters.” 

 

Poe crosses his arms and gives her a knowing, critical look.  "So . . .  you sold out to become a princess, is that it?  You have rejected everything you used to believe in, haven’t you?"

 

No, no she hasn’t.  Rey herself is a bit indignant now.  "Poe, I never believed in war as a solution to problems.  That’s why I refused to join your squadron and I refused to fight for the Resistance.  I'm from Jakku, remember?   I'm the girl who grew up scavenging among the battle wreckage of the last war.  I was never keen on joining this one.”  Rey looks her one-time ally in the eye.  “I never wanted to be a part of this war, but General Organa and Master Luke kept trying to put me in it.  So did you and Jessika.  And then Kylo found me and I had no choice but to join his cause."

 

Poe’s upper lip curls.  "You had a choice--" 

 

"I had a lightsaber to my neck!  What kind of choice is that?" demands the survivor Rey of Jakku.  Because as far as she is concerned, there is no choice when the choice is death. 

 

"You had a choice,” the New Republic lady hisses.  “Plenty of us have died for what we believe in."

 

"Yeah?  And for what purpose?” Rey matches her scathing tone note for note.  All this fatalistic idealism is foolish, thinks the girl from Jakku.   You always make the best choice you can at the time and it’s the choice that keeps you alive.   Dying for ideals is just a stupid waste.  She told Army that once and she’ll tell this woman the same.  There’s only one thing worth fighting and dying for and that’s family.  Not some abstract cause.   Especially a lost cause like the Resistance. 

 

“Those sacrifices mean nothing!” Rey gripes.  “You are still fighting.  So more people will die.  And what will that win you?  Only more zealots and more death.  Not peace.  Hasn't this gone on long enough?" Rey complains.

 

"Unlike you, I will not sell out my ideals for peace," the woman declares.

 

And that earns Rey’s cold assessment in reply.  "Then you will probably die too, lady."    

 

"That's Admiral Holdo to you,” the purple-haired woman snaps back.   “And Poe is a General now."

 

Her Resistance friend shakes his head sadly at Rey now.  "Probably everyone you knew is dead now, Rey.  I'm a general by default.  It was a battlefield promotion.  Pretty much, I was the last one left alive." 

 

Rey nods at him.  "Everyone admired your commitment and bravery, Poe.  You're a natural leader and you are probably a great general.   But I'm sorry about the circumstances."  Rey sighs heavily.  "This war needs to end."

 

Again, the purple-haired woman draws another line in the sand.  "We will not capitulate.  We will not bow down to the First Order's tyranny."

 

Her incessant bombastic talk has an annoying edge.  And from the rolling eyes and irritated looks of the First Order officers in the group, they have heard it all before.  "Then why are you here?" Rey turns back to Poe.   It's blunt talk from her Jakku upbringing coming out. 

 

"What?" gripes Holdo.

 

"I'm not asking you, Admiral.  It's clear you are here for show.  I'm asking Poe.   Why are you here?  Are you willing to compromise for peace?  Or is this all just for show?"

 

Poe is silent.   And all around Rey, the military brass looks uncomfortable and increasingly annoyed by this conversation.   All except Nestor Ren who wears a blank poker face as he looks on and does nothing to stop it.

 

When no one answers, Rey purses her lips and considers.  "Will a ceasefire buy you time?   Is that it, Poe?  Do you think time is on your side so you can plan more raids on Coruscant and smuggle more arms to the public at large?"

 

"Princess, this is not your concern--"  One of the more exasperated First Order officers speaks up.

 

Rey glares at him.  "I was one of them, Major.  I know how they think," she snaps.  "Live to fight another day.   Yes, I remember General Organa’s mantra.  I sat in those Resistance pep rallies, Poe."   She nods as understanding dawns.  "It's a win-win, right?   The First Order gets to look reasonable and compromising with this cease-fire and you get to buy time.   And so the war is deferred and not ended."   Rey looks around at the faces of friends and foes before her.   “Kylo won’t like that.  And he’s not a man you want to anger.”

 

Now everyone looks uncomfortable. 

 

"We will take incremental steps towards peace," someone in a Resistance uniform explains. 

 

"You will never get to peace that way," Rey decides.   Because there is far too much chance of failure when there is such small progress.  Especially when the progress isn’t intended to be real.  "You will fail, the war will drag on, and more people will die as a result."  

 

“Rey, just what are you proposing?” General Poe asks.

 

What is she proposing?  Rey isn’t exactly sure.  She just thinks that any effort toward peace should be sincere and should seek to end the war and not just delay it.  Negotiations have a momentum, she knows from experience back on Jakku.  Dragging things out makes a deal less likely in the end.

 

“Rey, tell me—what do you have in mind?” Poe prods her again.

 

And now, Rey has to answer.  She catches Nestor’s eye and he nods his encouragement to her.  She turns to Poe and the annoying purple-haired lady.  "The New Republic was supposed to usher in a new era of peace and justice, right?   We can give you peace and we can discuss ways to approach justice.  No one can undo the Starkiller but there may be ways to make reparations for it.   Go put together a wish list, Poe.  But make the goal true peace, not a temporary ceasefire.  And be prepared to compromise.”

 

"We will not capitulate.”  The New Republic lady is back to her grand statements of resolve.

 

"Then you will be destroyed,” Rey informs her bluntly.   “There is no two-state solution here, Admiral.  Don't kid yourself.  You can negotiate for peace with the First Order or you can die a martyr for the cause.”  Rey shrugs.  “It’s your decision, I guess.”

 

“They cannot be trusted,” Admiral Holdo mutters to Poe.

 

Poe shifts his weight uncomfortably.  "Rey, you want us to outright surrender--" 

 

"Yes, but on clearly defined and negotiated terms.   Like the New Republic did for the Empire thirty years ago."  Rey looks him over and urges, "Poe, don't blow this chance.  Or Jessika and the rest of your friends will have died in vain."   Rey may have ended up on the First Order side of this war but she still has sympathies for the Resistance.  And she has a soft spot for the daring pilot Poe Dameron who had never been anything but welcoming and kind to her during Rey’s Resistance days.  “Poe,” she says softly.  “Be as brave in these negotiations as you are in your X-wing.  Go cut a deal, get as many concessions as you can, and save a lot of lives.  Yours included.  Get something out of the end of this war other than defeat.  Because you and I both know you can’t win.  At least not in the short term.”

 

“Will the First Order truly negotiate?” he wants to know.

 

She nods.  “Poe, Kylo wants peace.”

 

“What about the Supreme Leader?” he follows up.

 

“Kylo wants peace,” she repeats.

 

That mocking First Order major has heard enough.  “Whose side is she on?” he complains to Nestor Ren.  “Because it doesn’t sound like ours.”

 

Whose side indeed?  She’s starting to think that Kylo wants peace more than the Resistance.  And if that’s the case, then she’s on Kylo’s side.  And maybe in the end, the cause of peace is everyone’s side.   “I want what I have always wanted,” she informs the major.  “An end to this war.”

 

“Princess—“ Milo takes that as his cue to again usher her out.  This time, Rey takes the hint.   "Good day," she bids to the group along with her most regal Sith princess nod.  Then she turns to Poe.  “Good luck, friend.  Get everything you can out of them.” 

 

Poe nods back at her.  Satisfied, Rey sweeps out with Milo racing to catch up. 

 

* * *

 

It's been a long day and it's not even half over yet.  Kylo is stressed and anxious about today’s opening round of talks with the enemy.  When Nestor hasn't reported an update by midmorning, Kylo initially takes that as a good sign.  They must be making progress.  But hours later after still no feedback, he is getting antsy.   Because if these ceasefire talks are going nowhere, he should inform his Coruscant commanders that there is no need to prepare to stand down.  Kylo makes himself wait another hour before he breaks down and sends Nestor a message. 

 

_Report.  Good news, bad news or no news, I want to hear it._

 

Nestor's reply comes quickly.   _No real progress, just preliminary bullshitting.  We're meeting again tomorrow.   This isn't going to be quick, boss.  When you get a moment, we should talk.  I have an idea._  

 

_Tell me more._

 

_That Admiral they sent is useless.  No one trusts her and she's got some agenda I don't understand.  We should send her home.  Holdo was only here so we could look like we included the New Republic.  But the Resistance general seems reasonable.   And he likes Rey._

_Rey?  WTF?  Explain._

 

_Rey was here today holding audiences as princess.   Our group ran into her in the hallway.  She and the Resistance general know each other.  Kylo, I want Rey to run these talks with me.  Hear me out before you say no._

 

_No.  Rey can't negotiate peace for the First Order.  Her loyalties are too sketchy as is._

_That’s actually a point in her favor.  It will help bridge the two sides._

_No.  Rey has no training in this.  She's not briefed on our strategy.  This is far too important to fuck up.  We're not going to get a second chance at this._

 

_She's from Jakku and negotiated in a barter economy for a living   That’s training enough.  Plus, Rey was with the Resistance for six months.  She was one of them.  She knows this General Dameron guy and they have a rapport.  There is some mutual trust there, I think.   The most progress we made all day was when we ran into Rey in the hallway._

 

_No._

 

 _Rey would be part of a team, not on her own.  She's right that we have too many officers in the room.  Probably too many people in total.   And I like her idea to bring in one of Snoke's investment guys as an advisor.  Those guys make deals for a living_. 

 

_I'll think about it._

_There’s no time to think about it.  We reconvene tomorrow.  Oh, and her official cover story is that she is your sister._

_She's not my fucking sister._

_She is now.  Rey needs some ostensible authority to negotiate.  Being your sometime girlfriend won't do it, boss.  And without Grandpa around to introduce her as his daughter to give her cred, this is the best option._

 

_I don't like this._

_Well, what would you like?  You want peace, right?  And you told me Snoke thought Rey was capable of great things.   Give her a chance.  She may yet be of some use to us beyond ceremonial stuff._

_Will she even do it?_

_I’m working her over now.  Rey is sitting next to me in the shuttle headed home._

_Nestor, you asshole, just when were you planning to tell me about this?_

_When I got her to agree.  She hasn’t agreed._

_She’ll never agree.  I’ve never gotten her to agree to anything.  She’s a hardheaded woman._

_Have you met Cesi?  Hardheaded women are my specialty.  Plus, you know, the fate of the galaxy is at stake.  It’s worth a try._

_This is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had, Nestor Flick.  You’re about to be Seventh Knight again._

_I know.  Hold my beer, Kylo._

_Is she reading this?_

_Yeah.  Yeah, she is.  But she’s pretending not to._

_You are definitely Seventh Knight now.  You are demoted to Seventh Knight and permanently stationed on Jakku._

_I hear the girls are cute on Jakku._

_Fuck you, Nestor.  Fuck you.  And keep me posted._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has gotten so looong. This is the longest thing I have ever written. Thank you to anyone who is still reading. This is like the War and Peace of Reylo.


	52. Chapter 52

This is the best idea Nestor Ren has ever had. 

 

Better than the two-pronged assault back on Chandrila that had saved the day.   Better than the blockade of the Core that is crippling the economies of worlds he has yet to invade and hopefully won't have to.  Yes, it is a stroke of genius to have Rey help to negotiate galactic peace.  Sure, it’s not the obvious solution, but it is inspired.   Rey is a natural bridge between the Resistance and the First Order.  And, unlike everyone else at the bargaining table, she has never taken up arms against either side.  Plus, she is sincere in this role, for Rey has long wanted peace.  And who better to reconcile the competing visions of the future and the Force than the girl Kylo is supposed to find balance with?   For Rey is the Light and, if Snoke was correct, she is one-half of the hope of the galaxy. 

 

Yes, this is the best idea Nestor Ren has ever had, Kylo decides. 

 

But there’s a hitch.  And it’s a big one.  Rey is lukewarm on the idea.   First Nestor and then Senator Ono had sat with Rey at the Flick kitchen table until late last night trying to convince her to do her part to end the war.  But to no avail.  Nestor's disappointed message this morning had been uncomfortably clear:   Rey’s stated reasons for her refusal are vague and unconvincing.  And that suggests her reluctance has more to do with him than anything else.  Rey is not saying that, of course.  She just says that she doesn't want to get more involved.  Meaning, of course, she doesn't want to get more involved with him and his war.   None of that makes a lot of sense to Kylo given that Rey is holding court as the Sith princess again.   But apparently, Rey is drawing the line for her allegiance and cooperation there. 

 

No matter.  Kylo Ren is a Sith and as a rule he doesn't take no for an answer.   And rejection from Rey is nothing new.  He’s gotten sort of used to Rey pushing him away.  So when Milo had arrived this morning at the compound to take Rey to her regular princess duties, there had been a slight, unannounced change in destination.  Rey's shuttle is not going to one of the bunkers today.  She's coming to the _Finalizer_.    

 

This should be interesting, Kylo thinks, as her shuttle lands in the hangar bay.  Just sensing her presence in the Force and feeling her Light wash over him, he feels renewed.   He closes his eyes a moment in a mixture of relief and ecstasy.  Oh, how he wishes Rey was his completely.  And then her presence and her Light would be with him always and in every way.  But he'll settle for anything he can get these days.   Because once he had thought her lost forever to him before she was found at the Resistance, and then again he had feared that she was lost to him when he rendered her up to his Master.  The bleak sadness of those moments coupled with their recent estrangement have left a lasting impression on this Sith.   Things aren't good between he and Rey now, he knows, but they could be a lot worse.  Once he gets the galaxy under control, he will set to work winning back his girl.  When the war is over, he will have the time to give Rey more attention.  But for now, he will have to settle for fleeting interactions like this. 

 

He has dual purposes this morning.  Kylo wants to kill two birds with one stone today—like his old Master was fond of doing—so he wants plenty of witnesses for this meeting.  Per his orders, there is a crowd assembled in the hangar bay to greet Rey.  It’s at least two hundred troopers and so many senior officers that Kylo begins to wonder who is left manning the bridge.  At the forefront of the assembly stand himself and five of his knights, all posed with feet spread and arms crossed in the posture of command.  Kylo turns to the knight standing at his side.  "She won't hurt you, but she probably will throw you across the room.   At least, I hope she will.  When she does, suck it up and take it like a man."

 

"Yes, Sir.  Is she really your sister, Sir?" York Ren asks. 

 

"No.   She is Snoke's adopted daughter and the great-granddaughter of Sheev Palpatine."

 

York Ren is clearly impressed.  "Then why do you tell people she's your sister?"

 

"It's easier than explaining the truth.  Princess Renata and I are . . . complicated." 

 

His knight nods in a way that tells Kylo he’s heard stories.  "Did she really dump you for Hux?" the knight ventures.

 

Kylo shoots his underling a glare.  "Careful, York, because when I throw you across the room, it will definitely hurt.  Now shut up and look tough.  Here she comes."

 

And damn, she looks good but what the fuck is up with that hair?   Rey looks like old pictures of his mother.  She's wearing those retro double hair buns women wore in the Old Republic days.  His mother and other Rebel sympathizers had famously revived the style during the Empire years as a political statement against Palpatine’s dissolution of the Senate.  Kylo's eyes narrow behind his mask.  Just what message is Rey sending exactly?  

 

As his princess further descends the shuttle ramp with Milo in tow, her handsome black cloak parts with her movements to reveal a long white dress beneath.  Rey is all hooded Dark Sith on the outside and Light Jedi princess underneath.  Is this getup Milo's doing?  The old Sith servant is sly like that, Kylo knows.   But whatever the reason, he appreciates both the symbolism and the irony.  And as Rey comes closer, he's starting to like the hair too.  It's actually perfect for today.   Just perfect.  Snoke would be laughing his ass off at her cheekiness, Kylo thinks wistfully.   His old Master liked spirited women like Leia Organa and Rey.  If only old Darth Plagueis were around to share the joke today. 

 

Rey marches right up to him.  Kylo is instantly reminded of her standing feet apart with her staff planted in the ground outside her AT-AT.  Not overtly friendly, not overtly hostile, but ready all the same.

 

"Hello Rey."

 

"Kylo."   She favors him with one of those regal nods she uses seated atop Snoke's throne.  Kylo watches as her eyes scan the assembly behind him.  She looks more annoyed than impressed.  "Why did you drag me here today?"

 

"I wanted to see you," he replies easily.   "And unfortunately, I wasn't on the schedule for an official audience today."  He’s got his mask on so she can’t see the stupid grin he is sporting just now.   It’s just as well.  “Where's my kiss?” he prompts devilishly.  “Go on, don’t be shy.  Everyone is expecting it after your stunt on the bridge.  Plant one on me, Rey.” 

 

She ignores this request.  “Where's Nestor?  I only count six of your thugs.  Aren't there seven?  Who's this guy?”  She gestures to his ruddy faced, red-haired acting second-in-command.

 

York doesn’t break stance.  He just nods respectfully and drawls, “Third Knight of Ren, Ma'am.  Sir York Cantu.” 

 

Rey looks up at him.  “Well . . . uh . . . hello there,” she answers without enthusiasm.    

 

“York is my second second-in-command.  Nestor is off negotiating galactic peace, like you should be doing this morning.   Now come on, Princess.  Don't disappoint them.  Time to give everyone a show.  Give me a kiss.” 

 

Rey eyes him.  “You're not going to give up, are you?”

 

“No.  Don't make me beg.  It's humiliating for a Sith.”

 

She sighs.  “Very well.  Then here.”  She reaches up and he bows his head.  In full view of the assembly, Rey touches her lips to the silver plating on the forehead of his mask.  “On the forehead for my favorite brother,” she smiles wickedly. 

 

Her glee ticks him off.  “I'm not your brother,” he gripes.

 

“Brother zone or friend zone, Kylo, you decide.  It’s your choice.”  Looking around again, she looks displeased.   She’s in full haughty princess mode as she sweeps away and starts walking the perimeter of the assembly, like she’s reviewing the troops.  Kylo stomps off to catch up.  “This is a lot of pomp and circumstance,” Rey informs him when he reaches her side.  “It's very Leader Snoke of you.  What's all this about?” 

 

“You know what I want.  I need your help.”

 

“I already got the hard sell from Nestor and Grandpap--Senator Ono late last evening.   I'm still considering,” Rey muses blithely as together they walk.   And actually, this is going perfectly, he thinks.  She’s playing exactly the role he needs her to play in this very public setting.  Now if he can just get her to say yes, he can send her on her way, and everyone on the _Finalizer_ can get back to work. 

 

“So now I'm negotiating with you about whether you will negotiate?”

 

“You tell me,” Rey shoots back.  “You’re the one who dragged me here this morning.”  She slants him a sideways glance now.  “What are you offering me, Kylo?”

 

Is she toying with him?  Or is she willing to do it?  Kylo isn’t sure.  And this is exactly why he wants Rey on his negotiating team.   She’ll be good in this role.   Very good.

 

“Well?”

 

“You will earn the undying gratitude of the loyal subjects of the First Order.” 

 

She is unimpressed.  “And?”

 

“My eternal devotion.”

 

Rey shrugs.  “Whatever.”

 

“Power converters?   I'll give you all the charged power converters you could ask for, Rey.”   This response surprises her.  Rey smiles and laughs a little now.  It transforms her face and softens her hostile demeanor.  Kylo is reminded now of their first days together and he is utterly charmed.  “I remember how power converters used to go a long way with you,” he confides, leaning in slightly.    

 

“Actually, it was mostly your flashy shuttle,” Rey reveals.  “Not your power converters.”

 

“I liked you on my shuttle,” he remembers.  “But I liked you even better on my star destroyer.  And look, now I've got you back here.”  Again, he leans in to her as they walk.  He’s close enough to smell her perfume.  “Ready for that staycation, Rey?”

 

“Back off.”   She says this without heat.   And she's still smiling.   So he is undeterred.

 

“You're right,” he nods.  “We both have work to do.  You especially.  But peace can wait an hour or two while we get busy.  What do you say?  Shall we head to my quarters?” 

 

And now he’s gone too far.  Rey has her hackles up.  She stops mid-stride and whirls to wave a warning finger under his mask.  “Drop it, Kylo.  I told you, we're through.” 

 

“You like to be chased and we both know it,” he whispers to her.  “But I won’t make you admit it.  Let’s make a deal.  Until this war is over, I won’t stop chasing and you can keep pushing me away.  Now, tell me off again, only louder,” he urges. “Go ahead and get mad.”

 

“What?  Why?”

 

“Because I'm establishing your credibility with the Resistance.  They've got a few spies onboard who will relay everything they see today.  So be your bitchy self, Rey.   Go ahead and get mad.”

 

“The Resistance has spies onboard?”   Her eyes narrow and she looks alarmed.   “How do you know?”

 

“Because we have spies on their ships too.  So look pissed and stand up to me.   That way the Resistance spies will report back that you have power and authority in the First Order and that I listen to you.”

 

“Wait—do you?  I mean, do I?” she looks confused.  “And does that matter?”

 

“When you are planning to negotiate galactic peace, yes.   Everyone knows I usually punish underlings who piss me off.   So if we get angry and you live, you must be important.  Think of it as instant gravitas, Rey.” 

 

“That's stupid logic,” she decides.

 

“Maybe, but it’s true all the same.” 

 

“Do you ever stop manipulating people?” Rey complains.

 

“No.  I am Sith Master.  It's what we do.”  He is unrepentant.

 

“So what are you offering me?” Rey is back to negotiating. 

 

“You drive a hard bargain, Princess,” he teases.  “Alright, I'll sweeten the deal.  If power converters won't do it, how about unlimited showers too?  You can come to my quarters and get naked and shower anytime you want.  Now if you wish.  Now would be good, actually.” 

 

“No thanks, brother.”  She puts heavy emphasis on the word ‘brother.’ 

 

“Then what will it take to get you to agree?  Do I need to resurrect Hux in the Force?”

 

She glares at him.  “That's not funny.”

 

“I agree,” he continues his deliberate provocation.  “One lifetime of him was enough.  He's no Milo.” 

 

Now she glares harder.  “Stop speaking ill of the dead, Kylo.  It's bad form.” 

 

“Why?  Do you think the Force will strike back at me for that?   Bad karma and all?”  If Rey realizes that she is being baited again, she doesn’t show it.  Maybe it’s because she is still hung up on dead Hux.   She’s very touchy about Hux.   “Good.  Let the hate flow through you, Rey.  Time to release your anger like a good Sith princess.   Show me some Force so we can impress the crowd.”

 

“What?”  She blinks at him.

 

“We're putting on a show, remember?   My sister has the Force like I do.  But seriously, I need your help with these negotiations.  To make peace for the good of everyone.  You are in a unique position to bring both sides together.”

 

“You mean I'm well positioned to end the war and hand you the galaxy,” she says dryly.   “And then you get to play tyrant emperor, right?   Go do your own dirty work, Kylo,” she turns him down.  “You're the Skywalker out to rule it all.  I'm just a scavenger.”

 

“You're a Force user and that makes you an agent of change.  And you're a scavenger, which makes you good at this sort of thing.  I'm willing to compromise, Rey,” he concedes sotto voce.  “Go strike a deal like you're selling scrap back on Jakku.  Promise the Resistance anything but real power and we can make it work with some tweaks.” 

 

“Promise them anything?” she raises an eyebrow and looks intrigued.  “So complete amnesty for all First Order political prisoners?”

 

“Sure.”  He waves a gloved hand breezily.   “All the terrorists can go free once they take a loyalty oath.”

 

Rey thinks a moment.  “What about a written constitution with civil rights?”

 

He shrugs.  “Why not?   It will take the lawyers years to draft one anyway.  You know lawyers.  Plus, then it will have to get ratified.  Five years minimum for drafting process alone.” 

 

“No more Death Stars and Starkillers?”

 

That’s an easy answer.  “Of course.  I hate those things.  Superweapons are a waste of resources,” Kylo complains.  But then he can’t help himself from being flippant.  “At best, you only get to take out one system before someone in my family blows it up.  And where's the fun in that?”

 

Rey shoots him a quelling look.  “There's nothing funny about genocide, Kylo.”

 

“Yes, mother,” he tells her softly, grinning behind his mask.

 

“Kylo!” 

 

Now she’s pissed.  Good.  “Yes.  Get mad.  Now lecture me some more and march off in a huff to go negotiate with the Resistance.  This is perfect.”

 

“Seriously?” her brow furrows.   “You are serious!” she accuses.

 

“Yes.   It’s like I told you.  I've been trying to get a rise out of you since you came onboard.  Apparently, I'm not provoking enough anymore.  Has the spark faded?   You used to grab my sword and start going all Jakku on me at the slightest provocation,” he reminisces.  “Like when I arrested you on Kardura . . . and when I first caught you hanging with Hux at the bunker . . . “ 

 

Reys scowls at him.  Her voice is acid.  “That was back when I cared.” 

 

And that gets a rise out of him.  Because ouch that was cold.  That hurt.  Now it’s his turn to whirl on her.  “Don't lie to yourself, Princess!  And don't lie to me!” he growls.  “You care and we both know it.”  Here is the fight he has been looking for and unfortunately, he’s the one who’s angry.  Somehow, the tables have gotten turned on him.

 

“I told you here in the medibay and back on the compound that it's over.   I meant it.”  Rey looks away now as she bluntly informs him, “I'm your sister now.  Nothing more.  That part of our lives is over.   Forever, Kylo.”

 

“Is that what this is really about?” he demands hotly.  “Because I don’t see how helping bring peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire is incompatible with being my pretend sister.  What does our personal relationship have to do with this?”

 

She doesn’t answer and he presses her again.  "What is this really about, Rey?  You live on a First Order compound, you sit on Snoke's throne, you're my girl and you--"

 

"I'm not your girl--"

 

"Is that the issue?  Is this just spite?  Because don't tell me that you are neutral in this war and that's why you can't do this.  What's the real reason you won't help me?"

 

She frowns at him.

 

“Well??”  Spit it out, Rey. 

 

"Here?" she hisses, casting her eyes about to their very attentive audience of hundreds and then to York Ren standing several paces behind him.  

 

Kylo takes her by the hand and leads her back towards the shuttle ramp and away from the group.  In the process, he lightly and briefly freezes York Ren in the Force as a hint to stay away.  Kylo and Rey now stand before all to see but none to hear.  "Tell me," he urges.

 

She hesitates and reddens. "I--I," Rey falters and looks down.   Her color deepens still.  Rey is ashamed, he realizes.  For a moment, Kylo is taken aback.  Then, he’s concerned.

 

He drops the posturing instantly.  "Tell me."   Whatever she is embarrassed to reveal, he can handle it.  "You can tell me anything, Rey.  You know that."  She's seen him violent and out of control.  In turn, he knows her hard scrabble, near feral past.   He’s seen her AT-AT, she knew all his embarrassing family members.  They have no secrets from one another.   And that's important.  Because secrets destroy trust, Kylo knows.

 

Rey looks very, very uncomfortable now. "Look, Kylo, I can't do this.  It's not that I don't want to help, it's that I am not qualified to help.  I don't have the right training.  You know I d-don't have a-any e-education," she bemoans miserably as she looks down.  "Everyone will see that," she mutters.  “This isn’t like posing on Snoke’s throne playing princess for people I spend ten minutes with.  These people will spend a lot of time with me because this is a big project and they will know, Kylo, they will know,” she half wails.

 

Oh.  This was not the objection he was anticipating.  Her reason isn't about him, it's about her.  And it's not something he can easily fix.   Looking down at Rey's averted face so insecure and vulnerable in the moment, Kylo realizes that this is the first moment he has ever seen Rey lack confidence.  This is a girl who told him to be quiet because she would do the talking at the trading post back on Jakku. This is the girl who stood her ground before Snoke and demanded lightning instead of the sword.  His Rey is not easily intimidated.   She’s tough as nails and she faces life head on, with eyes open and chin up.  Except in this. 

 

Seeing Rey's insecurity laid bare makes him want to clasp her to him and hug away her fears.  Because Kylo doesn't care about her background.  If anything, he admires her for it.  For Rey might lack for opportunity but she never lacked for drive or ability.  She has done the best she could with very little.  And though Kylo Ren might be the Sith prince of Alderaan, he is keenly aware that his beloved grandfather was born an illegitimate slave boy on a backwater world deep in the Rim.   Looking down at Rey’s flushed face, Kylo suddenly wonders whether Darth Vader had ever felt ashamed of his humble background.   Or had the imprimatur of authority that came with being an Old Republic Jedi eradicated any lingering insecurities?   Probably so, Kylo decides.  Because despite all the indoctrination and Force dogma he was raised on, Anakin Skywalker had been well educated by the Jedi.  Unlike Rey who works with her hands and has a rudimentary education she taught herself. 

 

"Rey, no one will notice.  And if they do, they won’t care--" he begins.

 

She cuts him off.  "Yes, they will."

 

“Then, so what?  You are more qualified than anyone I know.  You lived your life negotiating, Rey--"

 

She shakes her head.  "Selling parts is not the same as solving the galaxy's problems.  Kylo, I don't know much about this sort of thing.  All I know is the politics and history homework Snoke gave me to read and the biographies I read aloud to Army.  I’m not sophisticated in these things . . . "

 

"You have commonsense and street smarts.   Rey, you and Nestor are probably the only ones on our team who do."  Book learning can have its drawbacks, Kylo knows.   Real world experience counts too.

 

"I'll embarrass myself,” she warns. “And you too, Kylo.  Because no one is going to expect Kylo Ren's sister to be an uneducated scavenger from Jakku."

 

"Fuck them,” he decides.  “They don't know who you are or where you come from.  They don't know a thing about you."  He makes a face behind his mask and vows, “I’ll kill anyone who makes an issue of it.” Because killing people is basically his default solution for conflict.  But as soon as the words escape his mouth, he realizes that might not be the best strategy for resolving conflicts in this setting.  Because you probably can’t kill your way through peace negotiations. 

 

Rey doesn’t answer.  She just looks away.  And damn if she’s not about to cry.

 

Fuck.  Nestor probably had no idea he was dredging up all this when he suggested that Rey help with the team.  And he and Ono had harangued her all last night.  Rey had been too embarrassed to reveal the truth, Kylo realizes.  That’s why her explanations were vague and unconvincing.  And this morning, he had dragged her here before hundreds of witnesses expecting their usual fight because arrogantly he assumed her reluctance was all about him.  Because, really, most things in Kylo Ren’s mind are all about him.

 

Except this.

 

Fuck.

 

Kylo steps closer now, newly determined to change her mind.  Because this is about more than just getting her help now.  This is about showing that he has faith in Rey despite her lack of education.  “I know you can do this.  I need you to do this.  Nestor was absolutely right to suggest you for the team.   Look at me, Rey.”  She raises resigned looking eyes to his.  “We can’t change your past.  We can’t ever undo Jakku.   But you can take what you learned there and use it to make a better future for everyone.” 

 

She blinks at him now, still unconvinced.  And now he is struggling to find a better way to explain it.  Because Kylo too knows her plight.  The circumstances are very different, but in many ways the fundamental issue is the same.  For he is Kylo Ren, the Sith Master born Ben Skywalker Organa Solo, and he knows all about the power of the past. 

 

He’s gripping both her hands now, facing her.  “Do you remember when we first met?  I went to Jakku looking for lessons from the past.   Because I don’t want the First Order to repeat the mistakes of the Empire.  Because I want to be as powerful as Darth Vader but I don’t want to live his unhappy life.   Listen to me, Rey.  I know better than most people that the past matters.  It makes us who we are and explains why we are.   And you can try all you want, but you can’t ever run away from your past.  Believe me, I have tried,” he adds bitterly.

 

She nods now and he keeps going.  “Rey, you have to face the past and accept it.  But you can’t let it control you.  Because the past can be a trap.  It can ruin your future if you let it.”

 

“What are you saying?” she squints up at him.  He’s lost her in all those words.

 

“I’m saying that you are the scavenger girl from Jakku.  But you are also more than just the scavenger girl from Jakku.  Snoke saw that immediately and it had nothing to do with your heritage.  Own who you are, Rey.  But don’t let it limit you from what you want to do.”  His hands have crept up her arms and now he squeezes gently.  “You can do this.  As you are, right now with just the knowledge you have.   You have things to contribute to the team that others don’t.”

 

She looks torn now.  He takes that to be progress.  So he keeps pressing.  “Do this for yourself.  Take up the challenge and go make a difference, Rey.   You always said you wanted peace.”  She nods and Kylo can tell he’s definitely making headway.  So he doubles down on his hard sell tactics.  “Do this for me, Rey.  Please--I need your help.  You may be the Light, but you will always be part Sith.  You and I are all each other have left now.   Whatever you and I are, we will always be family.  And family helps family.”

 

That last bit clinches the deal.  Rey nods and takes a deep breath.  “Okay,” she whispers.  “I’ll do it.  I’ll t-try.”

 

She looks so vulnerable and unlike herself as she stares up into his mask.  Fuck the audience, he decides, as he draws her into his arms for a hug.  Because right now his scavenger girl looks like she really needs a hug.  They stand there intertwined for a long moment before he releases her.  Rey wipes furtively at her eyes and, yes, this is juicy theatre for his crew even if it’s not what he had originally intended. 

 

“Are we agreed?” he asks, cupping her cheek with his gloved hand.  Rey nods back at him.  “Good.”  He beckons over to his stand-in second in command.  When York Ren arrives next to them, Kylo orders, “Cuff her and lock her in my quarters.”

 

“What??”  Rey leaps back as York grabs for her hands.  She turns outraged eyes on Kylo.  “What’s going on?”

 

“Peace can wait an hour or two—remember?”

 

York goes in a second time for her hands and Rey Force-pushes him several meters to land on his back.   “Back off!” she hisses, poised for flight.  “You too, Kylo!”

 

“Good girl,” Kylo approves. 

 

“What??” she’s gaping at him.   “Because if you think I’m going to your quarters to—“

 

“Gotcha!” he teases.  “Very well done, Rey.  Argument.  Hug.  Tears.  Use of the Force in public.  This is even more of a show than I wanted.  Now give me one of your dirty looks.  Yes.  Perfect,” he approves.  “Time to raise your chin and stomp off in a huff.”

 

After talk of handcuffs, evidently Rey is ready to be gone.  She hurries to comply.  She’s marching up the shuttle ramp in full retreat with Milo on her heels.  Kylo watches ostensibly in silence as he jumps into her mind with the Force and the conversation continues between them. 

 

_Go make peace, Princess.   The galaxy will love you for it and so will I.  The shuttle will take you to the negotiations._

_That’s was stupid stunt, Kylo—_

_I know.  But you needed you to make a big impression on more than just my officers on the bridge.  You are going to be key to these negotiations, Rey.   The Resistance is going to want intel on you._

_Don’t ever pull a stunt like that again, Kylo—_

_Hey, it worked.  You are now the sister princess with the Force who has Kylo Ren wrapped around her little finger._

_Never again.  Do you hear me?_

_Are you talking out loud?  It sounds like you are talking out loud.  You don't have to talk out loud when we talk like this._

 

_Fuck you.  This Force talk thing makes me nervous.  I don’t like you in my head, Kylo._

_I know.  You’re a hard woman to get close to, Rey.  I wish you would stop pushing me away.  Jakku has you always pushing people away.  I see that now._

_Don’t start, Kylo._

 

_Nestor will brief you when you arrive.  But here's what you really need to know:  you are the good cop, Nestor and the military guys are the bad cops, and I am the super bad cop.  I'm the Uncle Plutt or whatever his name was._

 

_Unkar.   Unkar Plutt_.

 

_Yes, him.   The guy with all the power and the portions.  You get the point._

_Did I hurt your knight?_

_Nah.  York is tougher than that.   Tell Nestor he lost the bet when you see him.  He owes me a bottle of Corellian brandy.  The good stuff._

 

_You bet on me?   You wagered that I would agree to help?_

 

_Something like that.  I'm a Sith, I take risks._

 

_You asshole.  You are entirely too gleeful about this, Kylo._

_I can't help it.  Seeing you puts me in a good mood.  I have missed you.  And knowing you're about to end my war makes me happy too.  I always said we would be together when the war is over.   Remember?_

_Don't give me an incentive to screw this up, Kylo.  Besides you're a lot more optimistic about a peace deal than I am._

_Nah.  Nestor is promising them a Senate this morning.   That’s a huge concession.  Hopefully, a little democracy will go a long way.  And with you on the team, we’ll make peace._

_I told you I wasn’t qualified.  You’re setting me up to fail, Kylo._

_Bullshit.  You can do this.  Go in there like you're down to your last portion and you've pulled two excellent pieces of scrap for sale.  You're hungry for a deal but you've got good currency to trade._

_I hate that you know that about me.  Get out of my head, Sith._

_May the Force be with you, scavenger.  Go make the Niima Outpost proud._


	53. Chapter 53

Negotiating a peace accord turns out to be slow going, Rey soon learns.  

 

Admiral Holdo gets sent home but the New Republic stalwart who is sent in her place is only mildly more agreeable.  Maybe that's fitting, Rey thinks, because inability to reach agreement on anything has long been a hallmark of the New Republic government.  That ineffectiveness is why so many in the struggling Rim worlds have flocked to the First Order's tightly controlled efficiency.   Because when faced with the choice of a democracy that mostly neglects the outlying regions and a brutal fascist regime that champions their plight, many will gladly choose fascism.  It's a better choice than being ruled by pirates and crime lords, after all.  And some government is better than no government. 

 

Coruscant and the Mid Rim don't see it the same way, of course.  These are the worlds that have been the locus of the war, where the mass death and destruction have occurred.  Here is where the vast bulk of the Resistance fighters hail from.  It's where Kylo Ren's name is synonymous with the devil and where the First Order is viewed as little more than a brutal band of loudmouth thugs.   The same old populist pitch made to the Rim worlds won't win any hearts and minds here, Rey knows.  And while promises to make reparations and to rebuild are helpful, they are not enough.  These conquered peoples are deeply skeptical of the First Order.  They want guarantees of civic freedoms and a degree of self-determination. 

 

And so, the broad outlines of a galactic constitution quickly become the focus of the peace discussions.   It’s all General Dameron and his team want to talk about.  And that's troublesome territory because these are potential limits to Kylo's power.  

 

"We're getting bogged down," Nestor complains to their team during a break in negotiations. "A lot of these details should be left to the lawyers to iron out in the constitution.  Why are we wasting time trying to agree to this stuff?"

 

The rest of the team concurs except for Rey.  She speaks up.  "It's because they don't trust us.  They're worried that if they don't get these safeguards agreed in advance, we will never agree to it later once they lay down arms and disband.   The Resistance loses all leverage once peace is achieved and they know it."

 

"They only have leverage because Ren's allowing these talks," grumbles a tired looking major.   He’s not alone, for they are all tired.  Day after day of tense negotiations is exhausting.  It's like being next in line to bargain with Unkar Plutt.  You're anxious about what to say and what he will say.  Only it grinds on for hours, not minutes.  And then you do it again the next day. 

 

“We gave them a Senate,” the major gripes again.  “What more do they want?  They are just whining now.”

 

“Look, this is the assurance they need to get comfortable with surrender,” Rey doesn’t give up.  “We’re either going to have to get them to trust us to agree later or we agree on these details now.”  She looks around the room at the faces of the rest of the team.  “None of us are experts on this stuff.  Maybe we should get a lawyer to advise us.  Not a business lawyer.  A constitutional lawyer who could sit down with one of their lawyers.” 

 

And that’s the first and only time Rey puts her foot in her mouth.  Because while the First Order has lots of lawyers on the payroll, they don’t have constitutional law professors and civil rights attorneys.  Those areas of expertise are not much in demand for the First Order.  There’s no such thing as an illegal search and seizure by a stormtrooper in a war zone.  And no one is about to permit freedom of assembly on Coruscant right now.

 

“What’s the point in bringing in a lawyer, Princess?” Nestor sighs as he sits back in his chair.  “There’s no fancy way to write up freedom of the press that is going to make both them and Kylo happy.”

 

“Kylo told me he was okay with a constitution,” Rey reminds him.

 

“Not the way they want to write it,” Nestor counters to a chorus of agreement from the rest in the room.  “Dissidents are going to use all these freedoms to promote disorder.  And then things will be bad again.”  The knight sighs loudly.  “Rey, we will have fought this war for nothing.”

 

“You’re missing the point,” Rey argues back.  She is a pragmatic girl and unlike some on the team, Rey of Jakku never misses the forest for the trees.  And she’s the Sith princess so she knows just how far Kylo Ren will go for power.  “Nestor, Kylo wants the Core and if a constitution gets him the Core, he’ll sign it.  No matter what it says.  Stop presuming that he’s going to abide by any of it.  He will pick and choose how and when he will comply and for what reasons.”

 

The Second Knight shakes his head.  “I don’t like it, Princess.  It’s feels like we’re setting him up to fail.” 

 

And so it keeps grinding on.  For the most part, Kylo is right and Rey is plenty prepared to participate on the First Order negotiating team.  Her contributions generally involve tactics and strategy learned from Jakku where Rey struck deals on a daily basis again and again with the same people.  Sure, this is galactic civil government and not hydration tablets and portions.  But a lot of the basic concepts are the same.  Rey knows how to present items to the other side, in what order and when.  She knows to walk away at different times to keep the Resistance guessing how far they can push things before the First Order balks.  Plus, Jakku has taught Rey an impressive poker face.   It's a good thing you and Kylo can read each other's minds, Nestor teases Rey, because I never know what you are thinking in these meetings.

 

Not surprisingly, Rey reads peoples' reactions better than anyone else on the team.   It’s simply because she’s done this a lot more.  And also because the chain of command permeates the First Order.   Very few senior officials in Snoke’s regime have spent much time attempting to persuade others.  These are men who are used to telling people what to do, not trying to get people to agree on what to do.   Those are two very different skill sets. 

 

Rey is also a lot less personally invested in this war than Nestor and his military colleagues, so she has more patience for the righteous rhetoric of the other side.   She counsels Nestor and the others to let General Dameron and his colleagues talk at length.  Sometimes people need to speak their piece, she reminds everyone.   You don't have to agree just because you listen.  And if they think you are listening, that might help.   Listening turns out to be another unfamiliar skill for the First Order team.  For these men are used to preaching the cause to others rather than hearing a catalog of complaints. 

 

For her part, Rey is an enigma to the Resistance.  They do not know what to make of her.  No one understands how she could have been personally recruited by Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa to the Resistance and a yet also be the hidden sister to Kylo Ren.  Rey had been presumed dead as a loyal low-level Resistance fighter until she turned up one day as Princess Renata Palpatine, supposed sister to their arch enemy Kylo Ren.  But the Jedi and General Organa are dead along with everyone at the Kardura base and all who witnessed Rey's arrival with General Hux at Crait.  Now, there is no one around to defend, refute or even explain the story.   But Poe Dameron himself knew Rey at the Resistance and he vouches for the basic outline of that portion of her tale.   

 

While the facts of Rey’s complicated background have died with the old guard leadership of the Resistance, so too apparently has the background of Kylo Ren.  For no one left alive at the enemy knows the closely guarded and politically embarrassing secret of Ben Skywalker Organa Solo.   In a strange irony, the Resistance now thinks that Kylo Ren too is a Palpatine.   He and his sister must have inherited the Force from the wizard Emperor himself, their grandfather.   Or is it great-grandfather?  No one is quite sure.  Mostly because everyone thought the secret Darth Sidious was into guys.   Who knew he had a wife and kid?

 

Kylo finds these misconceptions to be hilarious.  He and Nestor put their heads together and decide to keep Rey's mystery deliberately vague.  She is fine with that so long as she doesn't have to lie.  Actually, the truth of her involvement with the war and with the Skywalkers is so improbable and incongruous that Rey can manage to tell a version of the truth and still confuse everyone further.  And that just adds to the mystery.  Every now and then, General Poe or even one of the First Order team will ask her a probing direct question.  But for the most part, Rey is treated with wary respect due to her connection to Kylo Ren.   She is the topic of much speculation but she fields few actual questions.

 

As she had feared, there are definitely moments when Rey feels in over her head.  Many historical and political references go right past Rey.  There is a lot of talk about the Concordance that ended the Rebellion and some famous disarmament treaty.  And the discussions about the powers and makeup of Kylo's new Senate invariably lead to comments about the Old Republic Separatist Crisis.   Rey just stays quiet and lets others do the talking then.

 

It's not all historical allusions that have Rey lost.  At times, she finds the mixture of First Order jargon and military slang to be impenetrable.   There's an acronym and a nickname for everything in Snoke's realm, Rey soon realizes.  And for most of it, she has no clue what it all means.  But she takes heart one afternoon when the business consultant on the team takes her aside to confess he's lost too.  Rey knows better than to commiserate and reveal her own ignorance.  Instead, she tells the guy not to worry and to let the military types do their thing.  You aren't here to talk battles, she reminds him. 

 

Rey plays the Sith princess role as much for her own team as for their Resistance counterparts.  It’s an act she keeps up without fail.  Day-in, day-out, Rey pretends to be the high born young lady who some on the team remember as the indulged and cosseted favorite of Leader Snoke.  No one is the wiser other than Nestor, and he is scrupulously formal in his address and demeanor with Rey.  The others simply follow his lead.   Her expensive princess dresses and posh Coruscant accent help promote the façade too.

 

In the negotiating sessions, Nestor and the military guys do most of the talking.   Rey sits back in silence and watches the interplay.  When things get especially tense, they break.   That’s when good cop Rey sometimes wanders over to the other side for an off-the-record chat with General Dameron.   Poe is genuinely interested in peace, Rey thinks.  The Resistance general tells her that his parents fought in the last war.  Thirty years later, I'm fighting for the same things they did, Poe sighs.  It's the same for the First Order team next door, Rey points out.  Every single guy down the hall is from an Imperial Exile family, she reveals.  They are fighting for what their parents fought for as well.  And that realization makes the path towards peace seem especially daunting.  For the same basic conflicts still remain after thirty years. 

 

Maybe the Sith are right, a discouraged Rey thinks.  Maybe peace is a lie. 

 

"Do you think it's hopeless?" Poe asks her in an unguarded moment alone after an especially heated exchange.   "Have you ever wondered if maybe the galaxy shouldn't be unified under one umbrella government?  That maybe the lesson of the Empire and the New Republic is that we should stop trying to achieve unity and just let every world fend for itself?"

 

The thought has occurred to Rey as well.  "I hope not," she responds.  "The Old Republic lasted a thousand years, Poe.  It had plenty of problems.  But it endured and for the most part there was peace."

 

“This isn’t the Old Republic, Rey.”  Poe is frustrated and not bothering to hide it. “The First Order doesn’t share any of the Old Republic’s ideals.”

 

Rey disagrees.  "This deal for a Senate is a huge concession, Poe.  You’re not giving us enough credit for that.  Look, you're not going to get both a strong Senate and some lengthy, ironclad constitution out of Kylo.  You need to choose one over the other and go with it.  Maybe if you have a strong enough Senate, it can over time enact all the protections you want in a constitution."

 

Poe shoots her a hard look.  "We’d have to feel confident that we would get free and fair elections galaxy-wide to put our faith in a Senate alone.  And besides, a constitution is more than just a set of laws.  It’s an important statement of values.  Rey, no one trusts Ren on civil rights.  That’s why we need them set forth in a constitution."

 

"Don't push too hard,” she warns, “or this will fall apart.   We led with a big concession.  We haven't seen anything like that out of your side."  Therein lies the sticking point for many on the First Order’s team.  On a fundamental level, the military guys find it hard to understand how they can control three-quarters of the galaxy outright and have the enemy in disarray in the Core and yet still be the party offering up major concessions in the peace talks.  The last time I checked we were winning this war, Nestor Ren had grumbled just this morning.  So why does it feel like we’re losing these negotiations?

 

"What is it that you want us to give on?” Poe demands of her.  “Do you want us to drop equal protection for all species under the law?  Or maybe the bit about abolition of slavery?"

 

"No.”  Rey is irked by his righteous tone.  Every time she or anyone else wants to trade points, the Resistance starts again with the high-minded talk.  It’s an annoying tactic.  “Poe, Kylo doesn't care about that stuff.  And he's far more anti-slavery than you give him credit for--"

 

"Conscripting little children to be raised as stormtroopers is a form of slavery, Rey.  The Rim worlds might be okay with that but the Core is not."

 

"Poe, we can't fix all the problems of the galaxy in this peace agreement.  The more complicated this becomes, the less likely we will reach agreement."

 

Her warning falls on deaf ears, for General Dameron doesn’t back down.  Instead, he reminds Rey, "You yourself were the one who told me to get all I could from the First Order.  That’s what I’m doing."

 

Trust is the ultimate gating issue to a deal.  It keeps coming up again and again in different ways.  This isn't like the business ventures Snoke's merchant bankers negotiate with mediation and arbitration clauses and recourse to the rule of law.  If the Resistance disarms and the First Order reneges, there is no remedy.  Of course, the Resistance knows this dilemma.  Their solution is to agree on as much as possible upfront to then make public to the galaxy at large.  Their strategy is simply to raise everyone's expectations. 

 

"I guess they hope to shame us into upholding our end of the bargain," Nestor remarks.  "That shows how little they understand the Sith."

 

"All the Resistance Skywalkers are gone now," Rey responds with a sigh.  "I'm not sure there is anyone left on their side who truly understands who they are dealing with."   She frowns.  "That's probably a good thing.  Leia Organa and Master Luke would never have entered into negotiations with the First Order.  They would have fought to the bitter end."

 

"What makes you say that?" one of the military types asks. 

 

"That old gal General Organa was a warmongering hardline terrorist from years back,” answers another on the team.   “She wasn't the compromising type."

 

Having known Kylo’s mother slightly, Rey is inclined to agree.  But for somewhat different reasons.  "She knew better than to trust a Sith," Rey says quietly.  Leia Organa, the daughter of Darth Vader and the mother of Darth Ren, no doubt knew the old maxim of the Jedi:  never trust a Sith. 

 

Rey herself is not someone who easily trusts.  That’s partly a legacy of her extreme self-reliance and partly the reality of daily life on Jakku.  So Rey understands the perspective that the Resistance is coming from.  You build trust by making a commitment and following through, she reminds Nestor.  And that begins a freewheeling conversation between them that leads back to the initial goal of a ceasefire. 

 

After much internal debate, Nestor decides that the parties will continue to negotiate a permanent peace arrangement.  But once both sides agree on a preliminary agreement in principle, they will commit to a ceasefire on Coruscant.  The hope is that a cessation of hostilities will take some of the heat off the situation and build goodwill that will form the basis for trust.  We're still aiming big but we're starting small, Nestor sells the scaled-back strategy to Kylo.  Plus, it will be something of a PR coup for the First Order, everyone hopes.   Helping to promote Kylo’s favorite message that ‘we are not the bad guys.’

 

A week later, the agreement is principle is done, a joint public announcement and press conference is scheduled, and the countdown to commencement of the ceasefire at midnight Coruscant time has begun.   Anticipation is running high.   And while the First Order team privately thinks too many concessions were made, Kylo Ren has accepted the deal.  These are the first steps to resolving conflicts that raged long before Rey was born.   She is feeling optimistic and proud too.

 

The news of a preliminary peace deal and ceasefire leaks a day early, no doubt courtesy of the Resistance.  It's breaking news all across the holonet.  Annoyed at this blatant breach of protocol for his deal designed to engender trust, Nestor Ren seethes behind closed doors.  "This deal is getting worse all the time," he complains. 

 

But early the next morning, he and everyone else is assembled before a packed auditorium.  On the right side of the podium stands the First Order team, including a cloaked and hooded Rey far in the background and off to the side.   On the left side of the podium stand General Dameron and his colleagues.  Everyone has a friendly smile for the many cameras.  Nestor and Poe step up together to the podium to make the joint announcement. 

 

Just then, an aide rushes up to whisper at length into the Second Knight’s ear.  From the look on Nestor’s face, the news is not good. 

 

Rey looks on as Nestor and the aide turn away from the audience for a brief, intense conversation.   Then Nestor advances on his counterpart Poe for another brief, intense conversation in front of the lectern.   Their exchange is animated and clearly an argument is brewing.   The big First Order knight looms over the slight, slim figure of Poe, waving an angry finger in his face.  Poe instinctively steps away.  The Resistance general is closer to the lectern now and the hot microphone begins picking up the rush of words broadcast live unbeknownst to the two men. 

 

"It wasn't us!   We had nothing to do with that attack--"

 

"Over four hundred troopers and detainees are dead," Nestor growls.  "It looks like the attackers rolled thermal detonators indiscriminately into every barracks they found.  Including the ones full of civilian captives.   Blowing up everyone in their sleep."

 

"It wasn't us!   No one affiliated with the Resistance or the New Republic did this--"

 

"It doesn’t matter!   You armed these people!   Urged them on to suicide missions and incited them to revolt.  Called it patriotism and noble sacrifice.  By handing out guns to half of Coruscant, all you have done is increase the slaughter.”  Nestor Ren’s tone drips with contempt.    Maybe it’s the stress of weeks of negotiating.  Maybe it’s the frustration of having the ceasefire broken just as it had begun.  And perhaps it’s the strain of having the fragile hope of peace crumble at the last moment so publicly.  But the normally even tempered big man finally loses his cool.    It makes a big impression for all to see at home watching on the holonet.   

 

“You didn’t arm trained soldiers!”  Nestor hisses.   “You armed dentists and transport drivers and teachers.  You recruited citizens to a war they cannot win and don't know how to fight."

 

Poe is having none of it.  "These people acted on their own, Flick.  We did not break this ceasefire!"

 

"I don’t care that this wasn’t your choice.  Because it was of your making,” Nestor rasps as he steps closer still.  “You listen to me, Dameron.  Kylo and I were down there together at that university sweep that got so much press awhile back.  Let me tell you what I saw.  Those kids you gave guns to didn't even know which end to fire.  They belonged in the library studying, not playing at being snipers from rooftops.  But this isn’t a video game, this is war, General.  So when those kids start shooting, we return fire and we shoot to kill.   I was mowing down kids still in their teens with my blaster while Kylo was putting the worst of the wounded out of their misery.  I lost count of how many he beheaded with his sword that day.  The cameras caught it and your side moaned again about how cruel he was.  Let me tell you, General, a lot of what you saw were mercy killings.  Because in this guerilla war you have created, we are not fool enough to treat the enemy wounded so they can live to fight another day."

 

Like so many men whose temper has a long fuse, when Nestor Ren is finally provoked his emotions run hot.  But his voice is cold and controlled. "Those college kids were not who we came to fight, Dameron.  We came to fight you.  But if the best you can do is send children to die in your place, then you have lost.  This war is over!  You are beaten.  It is useless to resist.  Do not let all Coruscant be destroyed for your diehard fanaticism."

 

"Don’t lecture me!  The only fanatics here are the First Order,” Poe retorts.  “We are not responsible for this!”  Poe is indignant and equally as frustrated.  For he resents being pinned with this blame.  “We do not control local militias.  These people acted on their own."

 

"If that is true, then there is no point in negotiating with you, General,” Nestor points out the obvious.  “Because any concessions we give you will not achieve our goal of peace.   You get this under control, Dameron, and fast!  You make a public call for peace and order on Coruscant today.  You spread the word far and wide to stand down.  No more attacks--coordinated or otherwise—anywhere on Coruscant.  Then we’ll talk."

 

One of the other Resistance team members pushes past Poe and demands, "Just what are you saying, Flick?"

 

Nestor’s face hardens.  "Two words:  no deal.   Once you get your homegrown terrorists under control, then maybe we'll talk.  Until then--no deal!"

 

There is a moment of complete silence in the standing-room-only auditorium as the drama of the moment unfolds and the meaning of those words sink in.  There will be no smiling handshakes for the photographers here today.  There will be no positive words of hope and reconciliation.  There will be no happy talk and messaging afterwards in the spin room. 

 

There will be no peace today. 

 

Weeks of work have come to nothing, and the two sides are farther apart than ever now.   And so thirty years of conflict, mostly cold but recently very hot, will continue on.  There are no opposing Skywalkers left to fight, Rey realizes, and yet their bitter war rages on without them.   It’s because you don't have to have the Force to matter.   And because all along this war was only partially about the Force, Rey sees now. 

 

Yes, from a certain point of view it was about the Jedi versus the Sith, the Light versus the Dark, the Skywalkers versus the Skywalkers.  But it’s also the Core versus the Rim, the Haves versus the Have Nots, and those who champion the messy freedoms of democracy versus those who prioritize law and order.   It’s a resurgent generation from the best and the brightest of the Empire long exiled to the outskirts of the galaxy.  And it’s an expression of frustration from good people who are tired of gridlocked government and empty promises forgotten after election day.  It’s protecting the individual versus promoting the collective good, it’s the defenders of the status quo versus romantic visionaries of the future, it’s those who think the galaxy is already great versus those who want to make the galaxy great again.  And today, it was everyday people on a conquered world versus their oppressive invaders.  Those everyday people had unwittingly taken action with unintended, far-reaching and disastrous results.

 

The assembled press corps now erupt into shouted questions in an all-out media frenzy.  Ignoring it, the big Knight of Ren brushes past Poe Dameron to march out.  Rey and the others trail fast in his wake. 

 

Five minutes later, the First Order team sans Rey is on a shuttle headed back for the _Finalizer_.  Rey declines to join them.   Discourage, she’s headed home to the compound and to the welcoming faces of Cesi Flick and her three little girls. 

 

Rey is an hour into the flight when a message from Kylo pops up on her datapad. 

 

_Peace is hard, Rey.  But it’s not a lie.  We’ll get there eventually._

Rey types back.  _How do you know that_?   _Tell me_.  It’s a sincere question.  Because after the past six weeks of negotiations, she is less convinced of peace than ever.

_I don’t know that.  I’m hoping for that.  Peace is coming one way or another.  If we can’t negotiate peace with words, we will achieve it with war.  Maybe today just shows that the galaxy needs a strongman to hold it together._

_So you’re saying that more people will die?_

_After today, yes._

_What if peace really is a lie, Kylo?  I don't want to deceive myself again.  For most of my life I believed the lie that my family would return for me.   I always knew no one was ever coming back, but I believed it all the same._

_Why did you believe that?_

_Because it was my only hope that things would get better._

_That's why I want peace, Rey.  It's the only way things will get better.  Even if peace is a lie, I want to believe it.   I didn't join the First Order to tear the galaxy apart.  I did this to make things better in the long run.  To put things on the right course for prosperity.    I am not the bad guy in all of this, Rey._

_No one outside the First Order believes that, Kylo._

_You're discouraged._

_Yes._

_I wish you had come back with the rest of the team._

_I wasn't up for it._

_You're pushing me away again._

_Look, I’m disappointed.  I don’t want to head for the war zone when our ceasefire just failed, okay?  I need a break, Kylo._

_Okay.  Just don't run back to Jakku again._

_I'm going to the compound.  Go easy on Nestor.  He's going to be embarrassed about today._

_He did more today to win the hearts and minds of the galaxy than anyone realizes yet.   The PR types loved it._

_Whatever.  I'm worried about Nestor.  Not your war and your PR.  You should be too.  You need him._

_I need you too. Change your jump and come tell me all about it.  I want to know what you think._

_The others can debrief you._

_Yes, but you will tell me the unvarnished truth._

_So will Nestor._

_I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him get as angry as he did today._

_That’s how bad things are, Kylo._


	54. Chapter 54

Cesi takes one look at Rey’s downcast face as she walks through the door and envelopes Rey into a sisterly hug.  “I saw it all,” Lady Flick says as she squeezes her tight.  “I got the girls out of bed early to see Daddy give his big speech on the holonet and . . . well . . . you know . . . “

 

“Yeah . . . “  Rey pulls back and tucks in a wayward strand of hair that has come loose from her coiffure.  “It didn’t go as planned,” she sighs.  “Were the girls upset?”

 

“A little.  It’s rare for Daddy to lose his cool and so it scared them.  But then Miz Z made pancakes for breakfast with extra syrup so it was all okay.”  Miz Z is Zannah, the Flick housekeeper who is one part surrogate grandmother and one part drill sergeant.  Zannah is quite possibly the only person on earth who can boss around Lady Flick, and Miz Z does so regularly but always kindly.  In turn, Cesi meekly obeys.  “In half an hour, the girls had forgotten all about it.”

 

Rey shrugs out of her heavy black cloak and plops down on the nearest couch.  “Have you heard from Nestor?” she asks wearily.  “How’s he doing?”

 

“He sent me a quick message saying he was heading back for debriefing.  That’s all.”  Cesi slants a concerned glance her direction.  “Rey, I think he’s worried how Kylo is going to take it.”

 

As a general rule, Kylo Ren does not take bad news well.  It’s not uncommon for heads to roll in the aftermath.  Literally.  But not this time.  Rey is quick to reassure her friend.  “Cesi, Kylo is fine about it.  I think I’m more upset than he is.”  Rey is even more frustrated and discouraged about the situation now that it has had time to sink in.  They had come so close and then it had all slipped away.   In the aftermath, Rey feels defeated.  “Nestor tried really, really hard to make this work.  Kylo knows that.”

 

“You did too,” Lady Flick says softly.  “I’m sorry, Rey.  You must be very disappointed.”

 

“I am,” Rey freely admits.  “I really want this war to end.  For the good of everyone.”  She looks up at her friend.  Cesi has her purse in her hands and she’s dressed to go out.  Rey must have walked in just as she was leaving.  “Am I keeping you?  Are you headed out?”

 

Cesi nods.  “Miz Z is going to look after the kids this afternoon while I go shopping.  Why don’t you come along?” she offers.  “I’m going off the compound to some mall I heard about.  It could be fun.  At the very least, it will be something new and different.”

 

Rey hesitates and Cesi presses.  “Oh, come on, Rey.  It’s just a few hours of shopping.  No talk of war and peace.  Just makeup and clothes, I promise.  Go and change out of that princess get-up and let’s go have some fun and spend some credits.”  She gives Rey a knowing look.  “They don’t call it retail therapy for nothing.”

 

“I’ve never been shopping anywhere but Jakku and the PX before,” Rey confesses softly. 

 

Cesi blinks.  “Really?  Then where’d you score all that princess couture of yours?”

 

“I don’t know,” Rey shrugs.  “Milo buys me this stuff.”

 

“It figures.  It looks like something a grandpa would buy you.  Don’t take this the wrong way, Rey, because your princess stuff is very pretty.  But it’s a little . . . uh . . . Old Republic looking.  Like something some Naboo queen would wear.  Sort of grand and ceremonial.  Like you’re about to convene the Senate or execute someone.”

 

Rey laughs a little.  “That’s sort of the point.  You’re supposed to be impressed and intimidated.”

 

"Well, when you’re not wearing that costume, you’re wandering around in my old clothes.  Rey, you can't keep wearing my old clothes.   Let’s get you something for yourself.  Something that fits," Cesi suggests.  “Now, go get changed and let’s get going.”

 

Seeing the determination in her friend's face, Rey relents.  She’s spent the last six weeks arguing and she’s not in the mood to bicker with anyone.  So Rey does as she is told and an hour later she and Cesi are wandering through a large retail complex.  Rey has only been to the Niima Outpost to trade so an actual shopping mall is a new experience.  She is trying hard not to gape at all the offerings.  Rey is very impressed.

 

Cesi, however, is not.  Her face wears an expression somewhere between contempt and hilarity as together they stroll past the storefronts.  “Not that one.  No . . . not that one.”  Lady Flick keeps turning her nose up at one vendor after another.  Finally, she ushers Rey into a boutique dubiously named 'Core Girl.'  “Thank the Gods no one I know can see me going in here,” Cesi confides.  A true Core girl like herself would never be caught dead in a shop called Core Girl if there wasn't a war going on, she assures Rey.   But, sacrifices must be made, Cesi smiles blithely.  Fashion is one of them. “It’s probably awful stuff, but let’s see what they have.” 

 

Once inside, Cesi starts rifling through racks with the practiced eye of an experienced shopper.  Soon she has an armful of tunics and pants picked out for Rey, as well as a couple of casual dresses.  'Mom clothes' Cesi calls these.  Functional, durable, casual and not even remotely stylish, in her judgement.  Not that you could find anything truly stylish out here on the Rim anyway, Cesi complains.  

 

“I guess it would be nice to have something new,” Rey remarks, looking down at the too big, too long borrowed tunic she is wearing.  The pants underneath are held up with pins in the sides.  Cesi Flick is a tall girl—almost as tall as her husband.  And even in her Coruscant heyday Lady Flick was a bit more robust than Rey’s super slim frame.  Wearing Cesi’s borrowed clothes was meant to be a temporary fix but somehow along the way it became permanent.  But it’s not exactly flattering or comfortable.

 

“Here,” Cesi thrusts a huge stack of clothes on hangars at her.  “These are for you to try on.”

 

“All of these?  What about you?”

 

Cesi sighs and for a moment looks diminished.  "My old clothes don't fit anymore.   I guess I need to admit that.  Either that, or I need to stop eating for a month."

 

"I did that for almost two weeks once," Rey tells her with a wry smile.  "I don't recommend it."

 

"Well, I need your Jakku diet for a few days at least," Cesi laments.  "How about we both buy a few things that fit?  My clothes are falling off you.  And I'm busting out of mine."  She makes a face.  “Truthfully, I’ve been dreading having to buy a double-digit size.  But here goes.”  Soon, Cesi too has an armload of clothes and a salesgirl is ushering them both into the dressing room.

 

They each start trying on things from their respective piles.  Then, Cesi passes judgement.  As far as Rey can tell, items fall into one of three categories:  ‘take that off and burn it,’ ‘we can do better,’ and ‘that’s a possibility.’  Rey is wiggling into her third dress when Lady Flick asks a little too nonchalantly, "So . . . do you ever hear from Kylo?  About stuff other than work, I mean."

 

Work?  Does she work for the First Order now?  Rey had never thought of her role in the peace talks that way.  But maybe she should.  "He sends me messages,” Rey answers.  Pretty much every day there is a new message, sometimes two, from Kylo waiting on her datapad. 

 

“Love letters?” Cesi teases.

 

“Oh, no.  It’s really random stuff.  Nothing romantic,” Rey explains.  “He sent me schematics for a new TIE design last week.   Then it was information about a hospital in the Mid Rim that the First Order is building.  Kylo ordered it to be named after General Hux.”  Rey thinks a moment.  “Yesterday, he sent me a datafile on my Jedi grandmother pulled from the archives of the Empire.”

 

Lady Flick looks a bit disappointed.  “I suppose it shows he’s thinking about you, even if it’s just TIE fighters.  Is he stalking you with plans for TIE fighters?" Cesi razzes her playfully.  Then Lady Flick thinks seriously a moment.  "Yeah, I could see Kylo as the stalker type," she decides, sounding a lot like Army Hux had once before many months ago.  "Kylo would probably think it's romantic.  Like it's the Force or something like that."

 

Rey laughs a little ruefully. "Yeah.  Yeah, he would.  What do you think of this dress?”

 

"We can do better.  You know, Kylo has always struck me as the soulful love-you-forever type.  The kind of guy who never dates seriously until he falls hard.  Nestor has known him forever and there’s never been another girl before you to his knowledge." 

 

“What do you think of this one?”

 

“Rey, that dress is backwards.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Cesi keeps fishing for information.  "So . . . do you ever respond to his datafiles and schematics?”

 

"Not really."  Rey reddens beneath Cesi's measuring gaze. "Okay, so I respond to a few.  Sometimes."  Mostly because it seems kind of rude to completely ignore him.   And because mixed in between the random information Kylo sends are actual messages telling her things and soliciting her views.

 

"Ha!  I knew it!"  Cesi grins at her. "Rey, are you sexting him?"

 

What?  "No!"

 

"Just kidding." Actually, Cesi Flick looks like she is anything but kidding.  "But it's not over, is it?" Cesi prods.  "Not really?"

 

"It's over,” Rey says with conviction.  She looks away.  “It's been over since the uh . . . accident."  It’s been over since Rey had awoken in the _Finalizer_ medibay to learn about her dead baby and to face an angry, blaming Kylo.   She had been hurting body and soul and needing his understanding and support.  But instead Kylo had been an overbearing drama queen.  Whining about needing her and ordering her about.  Because, as usual, it's always about Kylo when that Sith opens his mouth.   He had showed his true colors that day and Rey couldn’t pretend to herself any longer that Kylo might be the man for her.  He had really let her down.  The public screaming match that had followed still makes Rey cringe.  Not that she wants to take back anything that she said, however.   She meant every word of it.

 

Now it's Cesi's turn to redden.  Her friend looks a bit horrified.  "I'm sorry, Rey.  I didn't mean to bring that up.”  But now that the topic is at hand, Cesi pursues it.  “Do you and Kylo ever talk about it?  The uh . . . accident, I mean."

 

"No.  No, we don't.  We're more like brother and sister now," Rey says with more certainty than she believes.  “That’s what we tell people these days.  A lot of people just assumed it anyway.”

 

Cesi must find that remark very odd because she makes a face and asks, "Is that what you want?  For Kylo to be your big brother?"

 

"I think so.  I don't know."  Rey can feel her cheeks flush again.  "Cesi, I don't think we can do the ‘let's be friends’ thing . . . "

 

"Yeah, don't try that," her friend counsels sagely.   "You can never really be friends after you break up.  Don’t try because someone always misunderstands and gets hurt.  It sort of drags out the drama."

 

"I'll always care about Kylo,” Rey says softly.  “I just can't care that way again."

 

"Because . . . ??"

 

Rey doesn’t mince words.  She tells it like it is.  "Because he's a selfish asshole Sith.  He's controlling and possessive.  And violent.  Have you ever seen him get violent?  He's scary, Cesi.  Really scary."  

 

"Nestor has told me stories."

 

Rey shakes her head thinking back to Kylo confronting the slavers who had nabbed her on Jakku.  "Before I even knew who he was I watched him kill three men. They had it coming, it was justice in a way.  But Cesi . . .  part of him seemed to enjoy it.  He loves power.  I guess the ultimate power over someone is to kill them.  At the time, I was so relieved that I didn't focus on it.  But then when he was so angry with me at Kardura and he hit me, I saw that same scary side of him again.  All that rage."

 

Cesi levels her a serious look.  "That's the only side most people see, Rey.  The killer Sith.   Whatever you saw in him, few people do."  

 

"I guess that’s right,” Rey admits.  “But we are all more than we seem.  There is a man behind that mask, Cesi.  I knew that man before I knew the Sith.  I keep looking for that man.  I see glimpses of him.  But mostly, I see the Sith.”  Rey shakes her head and looks away.  “I don't think I can live with the Sith."

 

“Does he know that?” Cesi asks quietly. 

 

Rey isn’t sure how to answer that question.  “I keep telling him it's over,” is all she can think to say.  Then, she tries to steer the conversation back to a safe subject now.  “What do you think of this?”  Rey does a little twirl as she models a tunic and capris.

 

“Ugh,” Cesi decrees.  “Take it off and burn it.” And then she is back on-topic.   “So, does this mean you are ready to move on?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Are you ready for a new guy?  Because if so, we can find you a new guy.”

 

“I've never thought about a new guy,” Rey answers truthfully. 

 

“Then you’re not ready yet,” Cesi concludes.  “Get dressed.  Let’s go out and look some more.  For something fun.  We’ve picked out the boring, practical stuff.  Let’s go find something fun.”

 

“Fun?” Rey echoes in bewilderment. 

 

Fun means fancy, she soon learns as she watches Cesi wander through the racks of dressier clothes.  These gowns and party frocks look completely unsuitable for everyday life on the compound.  But they have Cesi Flick nostalgic for better days.  Rey looks on in silence as her friend takes her time fingering the fabrics and pulling out dresses to hold against herself before the mirror.  "I used to lead an interesting life,” Cesi says wistfully.  “Even after kids, I was always out doing things and going places.  Nestor was never around but that didn’t keep me at home.  I had lots of clothes for going out.  Good stuff.  Not like these cheap knock-offs from last year’s collections."  Lady Flick pulls out a slinky green gown, looks it over and sighs.  "Nestor would love this."  She replaces the gown on the rack and looks over at Rey with regret.  “I guess those days are over now.  My world is in ruins.  It will be a long time before anyone back home will be in the mood for a party.”

 

“I’m sorry, Cesi.”  Rey feels hot tears of frustration spring to her eyes.  “We really tried to make peace.”

 

“I know,” her friend agrees solemnly.  “Thank you for trying.  Everyone back home ought to thank you for trying.”  And now Cesi Flick too looks teary.  “Did Nestor tell you that the apartment is gone?  Our home is destroyed, Rey.  Three days ago, Nestor sent me the aerial shot of what’s left of our sector of the Upper Level.  Only about half of the buildings are still standing.  Ours is completely gone.”

 

“Oh, Cesi, I’m sorry.“  Rey doesn’t know what to say.  Because she knows that Cesi’s hope of resuming her former life someday soon will not come true.  Not for a long time, at least. 

 

Her friend gives a forced shrug.  “It’s only stuff, you know?  The girls and I are fine and Nestor is alive and I guess we are winning the war so it will be okay in the end.   I still have my memories.  It’s just stuff . . .   We can start over.“  Cesi says this last bit with more hope than certainty, and that is very unlike her. 

 

In that moment, Rey catches a glimpse of the heavy toll that all Lady Flick’s relentless optimism takes on her.   Because this knight’s wife is relegated to being the queen bee of a bunch of war refugees instead of knowing all the right people and frequenting all the most exclusive spots in the Upper Level.    The playdates and potluck suppers Cesi painstakingly organizes are a determined effort to maintain a façade of normalcy for herself and for her children.  Like life on the compound is a quaint adventure that someday they will all look back on fondly and laugh about.   Like it is not their foreseeable, maybe forever, future.  Ever the stalwart consumer, Cesi Flick is still shopping at she wipes away tears and struggles to make peace with her new reality.  She holds up a sparkly black long-sleeved short dress.  “This would be great on you.  You’ve got the legs for it.”

 

“I’ll try it on,” Rey instantly blurts out.  She wants to move on to lighter topics and to cheer up her friend. "I’ll try it on if you try on that green dress," Rey urges.  “You know, just for fun.”

 

“Just for fun,” Cesi echoes blankly.  “Yeah . . . let’s do it.” 

 

The back of the dress Rey tries on turns out to be entirely open and bare.  "Wow, you do look great in that,” Cesi approves as they stand side by side before the dressing room mirror.  She leans in to confide conspiratorially, "It's very ‘sexy Sith princess out on the town' don't you think?"   Actually, Rey thinks the dress looks more like a skanky Sith princess available for hire for the night, but whatever.  It's just a dress and she’s only trying it on to make Cesi happy. 

 

Lady Flick considers them both a long moment as she does a critical assessment.  "You make that dress look much more expensive than it is, Rey.    And this dress doesn't make me look as fat as I really am," Cesi decides as she turns to the side to smooth her dress over her midsection.   "You know, if we got some decent shoes to dress up these cheap clothes, we wouldn’t look half bad.”

 

"Are you sure?  Isn’t this a little short?"  Rey tugs at the hemline of the dress she's wearing.  It’s really short.   Like upper thigh short.

 

"I'm positive," Cesi beams her encouragement.  Her momentary lapse into a wan mood is gone.  Lady Flick is her usual take-charge self.  Constantly positive and determined to make the best of the situation, even if it’s last year’s budget fashion.  "After we checkout, let's go find some shoes."

 

"Wait--you want us to buy these dresses?" Rey is dubious. "Where are we going to wear them?"  Rey can’t sit on Snoke’s throne in this dress.  Because for starters, Rey isn’t sure she can even sit down in this dress.  Not without revealing way too much.

 

"Oh, these dresses wouldn’t be for the compound.  We'll find someplace chic and have a girls’ night out, Rey.  You need a break and I've had enough barbecues and picnics.  Let’s go have some off-world adult fun.  Miz Z can look after the girls for a night or two.  I won’t tell Nestor if you won’t tell Kylo.  No one will be the wiser."  Cesi’s eyes twinkle at the very thought of an unauthorized excursion.  “You’ll be very popular in that dress, Rey.  Maybe we can find you a new man after all.”

 

Rey doesn’t answer.  Instead, she blurts out something she’s been wanting to ask for a while.  Because seeing her friend’s vulnerability today has emboldened Rey to be a little vulnerable herself.   "Cesi, when did you know that Nestor was the one?"

 

It’s a serious question and Cesi recognizes this.  Lady Flick thinks a moment before she muses, "Actually, I'm not sure there is just one person for everyone.  I mean, that's romantic and all, but it's not practical.  And it's too much pressure.  Because then if you mess it up or you lose them, where does that leave you?"  Cesi explains, "I've got a friend who lost her husband on the Starkiller.  He was one of the research science officers for the weapon.  I like to think that there will be someone new for her someday.  I don't want to think that her one chance for lasting happiness is gone."   Cesi adds, "Look, I'm thirty-six, Rey.   That's old enough to have seen some friends' marriages fall apart.  I want them to find love again too."

 

"But how did you know to choose Nestor?" Rey asks again.  She's curious about how this works.  How do you know if someone is right for you?  What makes you decide that someone is worth risking your heart?  Maybe risking your future?

 

"Well, to be honest, I second guessed myself a lot.  Nestor wasn't the guy I thought I would marry.  Not at all.  I had a type and he didn’t fit it."

 

"But you married him," Rey presses.

 

"Yeah," her friend grins.  Cesi always gets that same sheepish smile when she speaks of her husband.  "Nestor and I had a connection that cut through all our differences.  I guess you could say it's a chemistry of sorts.  But it was real and I'd never found that with other guys I dated.  I could be myself around him, warts and all."  Cesi gives a little self-deprecating laugh.  “We’ve been married ten years.  By now, Nestor knows all my faults and I know all his.”

 

"So you just went for it?  Even though he wasn’t what you thought you wanted?"

 

Cesi shrugs.  "Yeah, I did.  All love is a leap of faith, Rey.  And if you love, you might as well commit.  Because if your heart is committed, then you're already in deep.   Sure, there's no guarantee it will work out.  But you do your best and hope for the best.  That’s what everybody does.  And, a lot of the time it does work out.  You know—happily ever after and all that.”

 

"Kylo and I didn't work out," Rey sighs.

 

"So . . . we'll find you someone new, Rey.  If we get you out in that sexy dress, guys will be drooling over you.  I promise.   And then Kylo can eat his heart out."

 

"I think maybe I am meant to be alone," Rey confesses softly.  It's a fear she has had for as long as she can remember.  Voicing it aloud is hard.   But Rey has never been one to shy away from the realities of life.  Even the uncomfortable ones. 

 

Cesi's grin fades.  She's instantly concerned and reaching a comforting arm around Rey’s waist. "Don't say that.  Don't give up.  You're far too young to give up on love.  Look at you,” Cesi urges as they stand together before the mirror in their fancy dresses.  “That hot, sassy girl in the mirror doesn’t quit just because things didn’t work out with one guy.  She moves on to the next one.  She starts over.”  Cesi Flick inhales a deep breath and adds, “Like my family is going to start over after the war.  There are better days to come, Rey.  For both of us.  I know it.”

 

Rey dutifully stares at her reflection in the mirror.  She does look sexy in the short black dress.  Like some carefree party girl who’s maybe a little wild.  The girl in the mirror lives life in the moment because she can and not because she has to.   She is frivolous and maybe sort of shallow, Rey thinks.  The girl in the mirror worries about which shoes to wear with what dress.  She never worries about war.  And her lean figure is intentional.  It looks fashion-y and sophisticated, not starved.  The mirror girl sleeps away her days because she’s been up all night at a glamorous party.  She’d never be caught anywhere near a conference room for galactic peace talks.   And this girl has a rotating circle of arm’s length lovers.  They don’t mean a thing so they can’t break her heart.   The mirror girl’s men don’t insist that their love is destiny blessed by the Force.  And they would never send her schematics for TIE prototypes with the message that ‘When this is built, I want you to test it out.’

 

“Okay,” Rey agrees impulsively.   For one night, Rey wants to pretend that she is the girl in the mirror in the sparkly dress.  Not the stiff and theatrical looking Sith princess with the tragic past and a very uncertain future.  Not the Jakku orphan who failed first at love and then at peace.    Not the girl with a dead baby she tries hard not to think about and a troublesome ex she can’t seem to stop obsessing over.  Rey takes a deep breath and now she’s all in on the plan.  “Let’s buy these dresses.  Let’s go pick out some shoes.  Let’s go have fun.”

 

“That’s the spirit!” Cesi crows.  “And I know just the place.  It’s a pretty short jump and it’s a guaranteed good time.   You’ll love Canto Bight, Rey.  I promise.”


	55. Chapter 55

Canto Bight is like no place Rey has ever seen before.It is an old brick and cobblestone city on the outside with a rabbit warren of dark and narrow winding streets.But inside, the famous entertainment areas are enormous and interconnected.Bright, clean, crowded and full of spectacles to delight the eye and capture the imagination.There are public art installations alongside kitschy tourist venues.Fancy boutique shops, clubs and restaurants stand ready to take your credits.And everywhere, there are gaming tables.Rey struggles to take it all in as they flow through the crowd ready to hit the town inside this party world’s most exclusive, ultra-expensive casino.

 

She and Cesi arrived on public transport hours earlier.After time spent with a rented grooming droid, they are each impeccably turned out.Nails, hair and makeup all done.Rey has shiny, straight hair parted in the center and swept over one shoulder so as not to obscure her backless dress.She has complicated eye makeup on and lots of pale lip gloss Cesi had insisted on.Rey had stared at herself in the mirror a long moment to take in the transformation.This version of Rey is not the desert scavenger or the demure princess.This girl is a worldly femme fatale.Her fairy godmother and partner-in-crime Cesi had been delighted with the end result.

 

But just now, her friend is disapproving.“Stop gawking,” Cesi hisses.“You're doing it wrong.”

 

Huh?“What?”

 

“You look impressed.You're not supposed to look impressed.”

 

“Oh.”

 

"And stop smiling,” her friend directs.“You're supposed be aloof and sexy.Smiley, happy sexy is so Mid Rim.Like you are some girl in a beer commercial that plays on the holonet during pod racing."

 

"Oh.So . . . happy is bad?"

 

"Happy is too available.Too accessible.It's not high fashion."

 

"Oh.But these dresses came from Core Girl," Rey points out.

 

"Don't remind me."

 

As they strut through the crowd, Lady Flick keeps up her running stream of pointers.“Play it coy like a Coruscant party.You're not looking, but you're looking.You don't care, but you do.And the worst faux pas a woman can do is try too hard.Well, that and wear cheap shoes and fake jewelry like we are tonight.”Cesi lifts her chin in defiance now.“Whatever.I keep telling myself that we're undercover so it’s okay.Because if we wore the real thing we might actually look like who we are and then there would be trouble.”

 

Sure enough, Rey looks around and realizes that no one in the crowd looks impressed.Everyone wears an expression of varying degrees of ennui.Like they have already seen it all and this place does not favorably compare.But they are so blasé that they can't be bothered to leave.This pervasive dour attitude is more fitting for Jakku than a party town, Rey thinks. Because what do these people have to be upset about?Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are the lucky ones in the galaxy.

 

They pass a dowager gesturing elegantly with a silver cigarette holder.She's speaking with a roguish looking younger man who wears a bejeweled eye patch.Behind her is the most amazing looking Bothan Rey has ever seen.And is that a Hutt and his retinue over in the corner?Suddenly, Rey understands that if you are not here to gamble, then you are here to people watch.And the people are fantastic looking.Everyone is in formalwear and it's like a cross between a costume party and a society ball.

 

“We're here to see and be seen,” Cesi confides conspiratorially.“High school never ends, Rey.The stakes get higher and you get older, but it's the same old game.But be careful who you talk to and what you reveal.This place is full of shady poseurs.Whatever you do, don't get separated from me.I don't want to have to explain to Nestor how you ended up a bride to that Hutt over there.”

 

“You mean that one?”

 

“Don't point!” Cesi hisses and immediately turns away to pretend to be fascinated by a dejarik game in progress nearby.

 

“He's gross,” Rey decides as she follows her friend’s lead.

 

Lady Flick agrees.“They all are.But tonight, you look young and hot enough to get kidnapped by a Hutt.”She says this wistfully and means it as a compliment.

 

Rey pipes up loyally, “So do you.”

Cesi sighs.“Thanks, Rey.But I look like a mom with three kids wearing too tight spanx.No Hutt is going to buy that.”Lady Flick gives a little rueful chuckle.“I guess I missed my chance to be a concubine.”

 

Rey giggles.“Is that a bad thing?”

 

“Yes and no.”Cesi is her usual sanguine self about these things.“My look these days is less hot sex slave and more first grade room mommy.Let’s face it, my ingenue days are over.”

 

They are still standing together, ostensibly engrossed in the intense, high stakes dejarik game that has drawn a crowd.Rey glances over at Cesi’s blank expression of hauteur and her three-quarter stance that shows her figure to advantage.Rey does her best to emulate it.

 

Cesi groans.“Rey, this is not your thing.”

 

“I'm trying to look mad like you do.Is that wrong?”

 

“This isn't my mad face.This is my sexy face.”

 

“Oh.Er.Of course.” Rey can’t quite smother the giggle that bubbles up and threatens to become a full-throated laugh.Because truly this is all so ridiculous.

 

“Stop smiling,” Lady Flick commands.She’s imperious by nature.“Rey, it spoils the effect of that dress.You're going for mysterious woman with a secret.”And that goal is far more apt than anyone here could ever guess, Rey decides.

 

“What are you going for?” Rey wants to know.

 

“Anything but desperate housewife of the First Order.Ugh.I wish I wasn't so fat.I'd feel better in a cheap dress if I wasn't so fat.”

 

After a few minutes more of standing there looking but not looking, Rey notices a man standing opposite them.“I think that guy over there is checking you out,” she whispers.

 

“Really?” Cesi turns in towards Rey.“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes.He's looking at your ass now.”

 

Cesi Flick looks enormously relieved at this news.

 

“Yes, he’s definitely looking at your ass,” Rey confirms.

 

“It's hard not to.Have you seen the size of it?” Cesi quips but she’s grinning ear to ear. “Come on,” she links her arm through Rey’s.“Let's get a drink and find someone to flirt with.”

 

“But you're married,” Rey protests, momentarily scandalized.

 

“I meant for you to flirt with,” Cesi instantly amends.She doesn’t miss a beat.“I'll be your wingman.There--that bar over there next to the high roller lounge. It looks good.”

 

As they stride that direction, Cesi repeats her earlier advice."Now remember, we’re using our real first names so we don’t trip ourselves up.And what happens at Canto Bight, stays at Canto Bight.Don't you dare tell your man about this or we are both in big trouble."

 

"I know," Rey dutifully agrees.She’s heard this warning at least twice before.“And he’s not my man.”

 

Cesi ignores this and explains, "Nestor wants to move us again after that press conference.He thinks we should be someplace safer now that the media is on to him in a big way." And that's understandable, Rey thinks.Nestor Ren has always garnered attention for his position as Second Knight.But his very public role in the failed ceasefire has brought a whole new level of media interest.Nestor Ren is a hero to some, a villain to others, and something in between for many.Lucky for Rey, Nestor’s verbal brawl with Poe Dameron had been all anyone had focused on that day.No one had paid any attention to the unnamed young woman in the dark hooded cloak standing with the First Order team.

 

"I'm trying to talk him out of it,” Cesi tells Rey.“I don’t want to move again.So I keep telling him how obscure we are in our current compound."

 

"And this isn't obscure," Rey finishes the thought.

 

"Right."

 

Rey glances over at Cesi walking beside her looking gorgeously blonde and curvaceous in her green dress.Even without the daily workouts and the designer clothes and the expensive array of beauty treatments Cesi calls 'maintenance,' her friend still projects the social confidence and effortless poise of her roots.It's in her posture, her mannerisms, and her posh Coruscant accent.It probably comes from being born a Senator's daughter who attended the right schools and who knows the right places and the right people.Yes, Rey thinks, you can take Cesi Flick out of the Upper Level, but you can't take the Upper Level out of Cesi Flick.

 

And that has Rey of Jakku feeling less than confident standing next to her.Rey too has the Coruscant accent--that and the Force are Rey's only legacy from her doomed family.But the knock-off dress and shoes she wears tonight are an improvement and not a comedown.She might have left Jakku, but Rey fears her homeworld has left its mark.In ways you can and can't see.She is a very improbable princess, Rey knows.It’s one more reason she is not cut out to be Kylo Ren’s girl.Because once Kylo is acknowledged as the Supreme Leader, anyone connected to him will be in the spotlight.It occurs now to Rey that Kylo needs his own version of Cesi Flick.And that’s definitely not Rey of Jakku.

 

"Do these shoes feel any better the longer you wear them?" Rey asks as they head for the bar just off the casino floor.It's an honest question.Rey has never worn high heels before. 

 

"Usually, they get worse," Cesi admits."But your legs look lightyears long in those stilettos.Super hot."

 

"I've had scavenging injuries that hurt less than these shoes, just so you know."

 

Lady Flick is unimpressed. "Suck it up. Sometimes beauty is pain.And your feet will hurt less after we get a drink. Don’t worry, we'll find you a barstool to sit on."

 

They enter the bar now.They must pass some unwritten test because the bartender nods to the bouncer at the door and she and Cesi are waved over to two open seats at the bar.Cesi winks mischievously at Rey as they make their way through the crowd.“Still got it.”

 

“What’ll it be, ladies?”The bartender is a Utapauan with a friendly smile.As they sit down, Cesi orders something called a Resistance Rumor for them both.“Is that a political statement?” the bartender asks with sly eyes.

 

Cesi answers breezily with a coy look of her own.“Nah, it’s just a good drink.”

 

“That was the trendy hipster drink on Coruscant when I left,” Cesi confides when the bartender's back is turned. “It was all the rage.And we’re undercover.So . . . why not?” her friend shrugs.Clueless Rey just goes along.

 

The bartender returns to slide over two shot glasses full to the brim with a bright red exotic looking concoction.Evidently, they have caught his attention because the tall, pale humanoid leans forward now to ask, “You girls from Coruscant?”

 

“We might be,” Rey smiles as she hands over a credit card to pay for the drinks.

 

“I hear those accents,” the Utapauan observes thoughtfully.“You’re lucky to be off-world these days.”He refuses Rey’s offered credits.“It’s on the house, ladies.Here, I'll join you.”He pours himself a Resistance Rumor now too. Raising an eyebrow, he looks to them.“You know how to drink it, right?”

 

“Yep.You toast and say the cheer,” Cesi answers.She raises her glass and Rey does the same, following her friend’s lead in this as in everything tonight.

 

"Fuck Kylo Ren!" Cesi and the bartender now say in unison before they toss back the drink in one gulp.Rey is left standing there blinking and holding her glass.

 

“Er . . . uh . . . “

 

“Well, go on,” Cesi urges with an audacious wink.“Say that cheer like you mean it, Rey.Because I know you mean it.”

 

Yeah, okay . . . She can get behind this sentiment. "Fuck Kylo Ren!" Rey says emphatically before she takes the shot.Instantly, she’s coughing and sputtering.Cesi is laughing hard when Rey looks up to gasp weakly, “I haven't drunk alcohol much lately.Not since . . .”Rey leaves that thought unfinished.Because she hasn’t drunk much since living with wine-loving Snoke.

 

The bartender misunderstands, probably figuring she means not since the Siege of Coruscant that has blockaded off the Core and made even basic necessities scarce for the Coruscanti.He gives Rey a sympathetic look.“That’s not an easy drink to swallow . . . for lots of reasons.No worries.The first one goes down hard.But the rest are easy. Want another?”

 

“Sure,” Cesi answers for them and now they are on to round two of liquor shots.Maybe it’s the cheering drinks or maybe it’s just them, but Cesi and Rey don’t have to wait long to attract attention.Male attention, specifically.

 

“I didn’t know they poured that drink here, but I’m not surprised,” drawls a man from over Rey’s shoulder.She turns to find a dark-skinned man with a close-cropped beard.He is very handsome and maybe a few years older than Cesi.Youngish but not young.“Is that a political statement?” the man smiles easily as he repeats the bartender’s question.

 

In turn, Rey repeats Cesi’s line.“It’s just a good drink.”

 

“Right.”He grins, clearly unconvinced.“Are you one of the resident refugees?” the man fishes.

 

“No.Just in for the weekend.”

 

“First time?”

 

“First time,” Rey answers truthfully again.“How did you know?” she asks.She’s curious.

 

“You are very young.”The man holds out his hand.“I'm Cade.Cade Biggs.What's your name?”

 

“I’m Rey.”

 

“And you?” he looks to Lady Flick.

 

“Cesi.”

 

“So where are you girls in from?” Biggs asks as he steps closer to Rey.

 

“The Rim.” Cesi answers with a precise truth that is pretty much a lie.

 

Cade Biggs raises an eyebrow.“You don't look like Rim girls.You look like Core girls.”

 

“I'm Rim,” Rey informs him.“Outer Rim, actually.”

 

Again, he is skeptical.“Then why do you have that Coruscant accent?”

 

“My parents were from Coruscant, but I grew up in the Rim,” Rey answers truthfully.

 

“Exiles, eh?You sound Core and you look Core. The only people like that in the Rim are Imperial Exiles.”That inference seems to explain it for him and neither she nor Cesi beg to differ.“It's okay,” Biggs allows, looking amused. “I won't hold it against you.And I won’t ask why two Exile girls are drinking the Resistance Rumor.”He turns to focus on Rey now.“So . . . what do you do when you’re not at Canto Bight?

 

“Huh?”Rey blinks.

 

“What is your line of work?” he asks.

 

It’s a completely reasonable, inoffensive question.But how does she answer that?She’s a scavenger turned princess turned peace negotiator.Rey hesitates and Cesi jumps in, “We’re both nannies.”

 

“Yeah?I like kids.I like ships better, but I like kids.I design starships for a living,” Biggs tells Rey.“I’m the chief engineer for Kuat.”

 

“Really?”Rey’s eyes widen and now she’s interested.Very interested.The Kuat Drive Yards are legendary shipyards, producing warships and commercial craft since the Old Republic days.Being their Chief Engineer is something like a fantasy job for Rey.

 

Her new friend looks pleased to have impressed her.“Let me buy you girls another round,” he offers, motioning to the bartender.“Just don’t ask me to do the cheer with you.”

 

“Why not?” Cesi challenges.

 

Biggs gives her a pointed look.“Because all politics aside, Kylo Ren is very good for business.”

 

After another round of shots, Rey is happy and animated as she chats hyperdrives and debates the most effective placement for shielding.If her new engineer friend is surprised that a nanny has such extensive mechanical knowledge, he seems satisfied by Rey's lie that her father was a military history buff.It fits his narrative of Rey being from an Exile family, after all.

 

Rey is so focused on her conversation that she doesn't see the pair of men who watch from across the room.The big man could be private security, for he has a clear ex-military look about him even if he's dressed in civilian attire.With that sinister black buzzcut and bulk, he gives the impression of a man who can hold his own in a fight.Recently, bodyguards have become more prevalent among the well to do.They are commonplace around destinations like Canto Bight.

 

Is the big guy's taller, leaner companion his friend or his client?It isn't clear.But with all that flowing dark hair, the companion looks like an intense, intellectual type.He gives the impression of someone deep thinking and critical but removed from the fray.Like he could be a subversive artist or a controversial young professor or a dissident journalist who needs protection.It doesn't take much freethinking these days to make enemies.The galaxy is a dangerous place of late.

 

By now, the engineer has bought another round of shots, and it's the Resistance Rumor again.Rey turns towards Cesi to toast her with an exuberant, tipsy cry. "Fuck Kylo Ren!"Others adjacent have joined the party, so a chorus of voices repeats her cheer.Then all toss back the shot in unison.Rey swallows the burning red alcohol easily.The bartender was right and it goes down easier each time. There are high fives all around and then Rey collapses giggling into Cesi’s arms.

 

She’s more than a little tipsy, so at first Rey thinks she’s imagining things.But there it is again, that nagging sixth sense that she now recognizes as the Force.It’s always been there, but Rey hadn’t known it.“I feel like . . . “ Her voice trails off as she blinks and shakes her head to clear her mental vision.

 

“What?” Cesi squints at her.“You feel like what, Rey?”

 

“Like we’re being watched.”


	56. chapter 56

“Why are we here again?”Kylo complains as they flow with the crowd into the casino.The night is young and already this place is packed with species of all ages dressed to the nines and ready for a good time.All this revelry usually makes him want to join in the fun, but tonight Kylo finds it a turnoff.

 

“Look, we need some downtime,” Nestor answers easily.He’s humoring him like Nestor always does when he’s grumpy.“We don't have time to make it back to the compound to see the girls.So tonight, it’s Canto Bight for a few drinks and some fun.Then, it’s back to the grind.We’ll be back at war tomorrow, I promise.”

 

“Look at this place,” Kylo grumbles dismissively.“Full of rich assholes.”

 

Nestor laughs.“Spoken like the true champion of the Rim worlds. You're probably the richest asshole here, you realize?Among all these Haves, you have the most.”

 

That’s true, thanks to his inheritance from Snoke.But Nestor is missing the point.These people seem indifferent to the war that rages around them, probably because their wealth insulates them from any meaningful personal impact.“These guys are getting drunk and gambling as Coruscant burns.”

 

His friend shrugs."Sounds good to me."That flippant remark is completely out of character for the Second Knight.Kylo shoots him a look.“What?” Nestor is defensive.“It's not like I didn't do my damnedest to stop it,” he protests glumly.And Kylo has to admit that is true.Nestor Flick had done his best to stop the carnage, but to no avail.His friend is deeply disappointed, Kylo knows, and worried that he has let everyone down.

 

Kylo scans the crowd out of habit.Years of combat have his senses always on alert.“This place has gotten sort of Mid Rim,” he decides.

 

“That could be a good thing.Fewer prissy bitches.” Nestor is looking on the bright side.Tonight was Nestor’s idea and he seems relentlessly determined that they have a good time. All that forced optimism reveals to Kylo just how stressed out his normally chill friend is.Tonight is as much about Nestor as it is about himself, Kylo knows.

 

Nestor too scans the crowd now.“Yeah . . . I see what you mean.Well, there’s a war going on.Take a good look around.This might be the bright center of the universe when you're done with Coruscant.This could be as good as it gets by the time it’s all over.”That is an especially depressing thought and now both men fall silent.

 

The evening is not off to a good start.

 

As they enter the main casino floor, Nestor runs a hand self-consciously over his close-cropped mane."Do you think the hair is working?” he grumbles.“I think the hair is working. Without the uniform and with this hair, no one will recognize me.Am I right or am I right?"

 

"Wrong,” Kylo shoots him down.“That dyed hair won't fool anyone who gives you a close second look."

 

“Shit.”Nestor frowns and vents."This is all that fucker Dameron's fault.Thanks to his treachery, I'm the damned poster child for the First Order."

 

Kylo smirks."Don't flatter yourself.That's me."

 

"That's your mask, boss.Some of us don't wear a mask to hide our mug.Can I wear a mask now?I think I'd like to wear a mask now.Maybe I can switch outfits with Phasma . . ."

 

Kylo laughs. "The mask is my shtick.Your shtick is righteous speeches."

 

Nestor’s retort comes quickly."No fucking way."

 

"Yes fucking way."Kylo can't help it.He's a bit gleeful about Nestor’s predicament.Misery loves company after all. "You said I needed a new Hux.Well, you're the new Hux."

 

"I hate the media."

 

"Well, they love you," Kylo laughs again.And it's an evil, gloating Sithy laugh old Snoke would be proud of.But Kylo can’t resist piling on even more."Oh, Nestor, how they love you.That Dameron guy made you a hero and a household name.We should all thank that guy."

 

"I want to kill that guy."

 

"If we catch him, you can," Kylo promises."Just not on camera.We can't ruin your brand," he smirks.

 

Nestor looks downcast. "He's ruined my life.I don't want to be a public figure.People are horrible to public figures.And to their families.Now, Cesi and the girls will have to move again."He sighs heavily and glares at Kylo.“Plus, famous people always have fucked up kids.You know . . . like you.”

 

Kylo can't stop laughing now.Maybe this junket was a good idea after all."Nestor, you're not afraid of the New Republic, the Resistance, or the Coruscant militias. You came with me twice to kill Skywalker.You're one brave motherfucker and normally, you're the coolest head in the room.Except when the media shows up, apparently."

 

"Hey, I don't see you volunteering to take off your mask,” Nestor grouses.“The media is fickle and vicious.They build you up and tear you down. I didn't sign up for this gig.I'm just a soldier."

 

"Bullshit,” Kylo decrees.And then he drops a bomb he’s been considering for a few weeks now.“You're the Second Knight and when we win you'll be my new Senate Chancellor."

 

"Nope."Nestor is not in the mood for a promotion tonight.

 

Kylo shoots him a look."It's an offer you can't refuse."

 

"I don't know anything about politics. I’m just a soldier.You need someone like Ono for that gig."

 

"You're a natural politician, Nestor.I trust you and you're a media darling and a war hero. It's a perfect fit."

 

"Except that when this war is over, I quit.I’m retiring to obscurity."

 

Kylo is not dissuaded."Think it over.The galaxy needs you."

 

"Your Apprentice should have that job," Nestor points out.“That ought to be your second in command.”

 

"You are my second in command.And my Apprentice is not even born yet.Think of it as a regency period.You can retire when my kid is ready to rule the galaxy."

 

Nestor shakes his head."It's not happening, boss.When this war is over, you'll go make the galaxy great again and I'll retire to a quiet desk job somewhere."

 

"Somewhere in my Senate, Chancellor Flick."

 

Nestor keeps warming to his theme."Yeah . . . I'm gonna work nine to five and come home to my wife and kids.Maybe we’ll have another one.Yep, it will be perfect.I’ll be the veteran who bores everyone with war stories at parties."

 

Kylo snorts."Don't make me pull out the blue lightning."

 

Nestor continues to be unimpressed.“Nah, you won’t do it.Because if you bust out the Force or pull out your sword here, we’re both dead men.Blasters only, boss, or you'll blow our cover.Besides, I'm not afraid of your Sith ass.Now Grandpa . . .yeah, I was afraid of Grandpa.He was some Sith."

 

Kylo stops in his tracks and now Nestor does too.“What is it?” his friend demands, suddenly ultra-serious.Nestor Ren does not have the Force but he has a healthy respect for it.And he’s probably seen Kylo use it more than anyone in the First Order.

 

“I thought I sensed something,” Kylo says softly.He concentrates a moment but the fleeting sensation is gone.The Force reveals nothing to him.

 

At Kylo’s side, his friend’s eyes widen.“Is this one of your bad feelings?Because if so, we're outta here.”

 

“It's gone.It was nothing.“

 

“That was not nothing.”Nestor looks uncharacteristically rattled as he now sternly repeats, “If you bust out the Force or pull out your sword here, we’re both dead men.”

 

Yeah . . . yeah . . . he knows.He’s not stupid.“It felt like a Jedi,” Kylo breathes out as finally he places the oddly familiar feeling.

 

Nestor looks annoyed.“The Jedi are gone.Their fire has gone out of the universe.Come on, let's get you drunk.Boss, you're so stressed and tired that you're seeing . . . uh . . . feeling things.We both need a break.So . . . gambling or drinking?”

 

“Drinking.You know I hate gambling.”Gambling reminds him of Han Solo and slippery Uncle Lando.And gambling is no fun when you can read people’s minds.There’s no such thing as a game of chance for a controlling Sith.“Let's find a bar.”

 

“Over there.What about that one?”Nestor nods in the direction of a bar just off the casino floor.Dutifully, Kylo troops that direction.

 

Once inside, Kylo can’t hear himself think.Between the music and the buzz of the party atmosphere, there’s just too much stimulus.As they sink into an empty table at the farthest, dimmest corner, Kylo complains, “It's smoky in here.And loud.”

 

“Yep.”As usual, Nestor just acknowledges Kylo’s complaints and moves on.He rarely debates them.“This is good,” his friend approves as he looks around.“We can see the door clearly from here.And there’s an exit to our left in case we need to make a getaway.”

 

“Can we make a getaway now?” Kylo smirks.Nestor ignores him.

 

A waitress appears and she’s Rodian.Nestor’s eyes light up and Kylo fights the urge to snort with laughter at this reaction.How Nestor Flick loves his green reptile girls.“Hey guys,” she calls over to them in Basic with a friendly smile.“Can I start a tab for you?”

 

Nestor orders them drinks and slips a large tip onto the waitress’ tray.“Hurry back and then stay and talk to me a bit, gorgeous.”

 

Once she departs, Nestor huddles over the table and turns to him.It’s loud enough here that they don’t have to worry about being overheard.“Is it wrong of me to be a bit glad the peace bid failed?Getting talked to death by those Resistance guys was painful.If that ceasefire had held, there would only have been more meetings.Boss, I'm tired of conference room innuendo and speeches about tyranny.I'd prefer to be fighting at your side any day.”Nestor looks him squarely in the eye.“It’s why I can’t be your Senate Chancellor.I’m a fighter not a talker.”

 

“So was I, but not anymore,” Kylo commiserates.“I'm a desk jockey now too.I'm mostly in a meeting or standing on the bridge listening to other guys fight.”

 

“Shit, Kylo.”Nestor runs a hand over his hair in frustration and slumps back in his chair.“When did we get old enough to be the ones in charge?I've got a wife and three kids who depend on me. I've got you depending on me for galactic peace.I'm so damned responsible these days it hurts.”

 

Yeah, he knows the feeling.“Tell me about it. This sucks, Nestor.”It’s true.Most days lately, this Sith Master gig sucks.Because what’s the point in being compelled to control everything if nothing goes your way?The seeming futility of it all has him frustrated.He’s so close and yet so far from achieving his goals.

 

“Yeah, I get it,” his friend nods.“I'm thirty-eight.I'm supposed to be the aide to some grey haired wise warrior.Instead, I'm the aide to this punk-ass Sith kid who wants to rule it all.” Nestor glares over at him now as he adds, “And that kid thinks he can pawn his useless Senate off on me.”

 

Kylo smirks.“Guilty as charged.”

 

“There ought to be some law against ruling the galaxy before age fifty. At least age fifty.Maybe sixty.How old was Sheev Palpatine?” Nestor asks.

 

“Sixty-five, I think, when he declared the Empire.”

 

“That’s twice your age.”

 

Yeah, he knows.Kylo looks down and then away.“I was never supposed to rule it all.Not on my own at least.”

 

He and Nestor lock eyes now in mutual understanding.His friend thaws a bit.“I've got your back, boss,” Nestor promises.“Even if it's from a conference room.”

 

“How about from the Senate?” Kylo can’t resist adding.

 

“Don’t press your luck.” Nestor thinks a moment.“You’re not in this alone, Kylo.You’ve got Milo, you’ve got me, and you've got Rey.”

 

“Do I?”He's not sure.

 

“I like your girl,” Nestor tells him.“She's sharp.No one picked up on what she was worried about.Rey can posture as well as you can, only without the mask.No one on the team was any wiser.And she schooled us a few times on some stuff.All the guys grew to respect Rey even if she is really young.”

 

“She is young,” Kylo agrees.“Really young.”

 

“Yeah and she's too damn good for you.”

 

That comment makes him smile.“You think?”

 

“I know.Cesi says it too.And Cesi's always right.”

 

“Is that what she tells you?”

 

“Yep,” Nestor admits affably. It’s no secret that Cesi Flick runs the Flick household and pretty much runs Nestor Flick too. “You guys talking?”

 

“She responds to about one out of every three messages I send her,” Kylo reveals.His girl is pretty terse too.Sometimes, he gets a one word answer.Today, he didn’t even get that.This morning, Rey had simply forwarded on a silly picture from Milo of Yoda the Cat curled up asleep next to an ancient mouse droid of Vader’s."We're taking a break for now.I guess."

 

Nestor raises an eyebrow."So you’re on hold but not broken up?"

 

"Something like that.It's just until the war ends."And until Rey comes to her senses to realize they are meant to be together.She can be so stubborn sometimes.

 

"What's the issue?"As usual, Nestor wants to solve the problem.He’s a fixer like that.It’s what frustrated him about the peace talks, Kylo knows, but also what will make him great at leading the Senate.Nestor Ren solves problems and makes decisions.But he has a knack for doing it in a lowkey way that doesn’t alienate people.

 

“Come on, what’s the issue?” Nestor prods.

 

"Everything," Kylo responds.Peace with Rey will be as hard as peace with the Resistance, he fears.

 

"Well, forget that tonight,” Nestor decides. “Let's find you some cute girl to flirt with."He looks around a moment.“What about that one three tables away?Not the redhead.The blonde.She's your type.Or what used to be your type.”

 

Kylo isn’t listening because he feels another ripple in the Force.It’s much stronger this time.Urgent and close by.And familiar.Very familiar.“She's here,” he breathes his thoughts aloud.

 

“Who's here?”

 

“Rey.”It's Rey.He's sure now that it's Rey.Before when he had sensed a Jedi Force-user, he had sensed Rey.Rey the Sith princess full of Light.

 

“Rey’s not here,” Nestor disagrees.“She’s at the compound.Cesi sent me a picture of her and the girls just hours ago.”

 

“Rey is here.” Close and coming closer.Kylo stands to his feet.

 

“Here?Now?”Nestor looks around.“Where?”

 

It's dim and crowded.But Kylo is taller than most and from his vantage point far in the back, he can see the full room. “There she is,” he hisses to his friend.“At the door walking in with Cesi.”

 

“Cesi is here??”Nestor too leaps to his feet.“What the Hell?”His friend is not pleased. “Of all the bars in all the worlds of all the galaxy, she walks in here?And with Rey?”

 

The men exchange dumbfounded glances.“Fuuuuuck,” Nestor expresses both of their sentiments.They stand shoulder to shoulder unnoticed in the far back corner.It gives them a perfect view to watch Lady Flick and Princess Renata walk in arm-in-arm, laughing at some shared joke.Looking gorgeous, carefree and happy.

 

“Will you look at that green dress,” Nestor says appreciatively.His wife is wearing a green dress that is suspiciously close to the color of the Rodian waitress who is heading back their direction now.Rey is wearing something black and sparkly and entirely too short.When she and Cesi turn to head towards the bar, Rey’s back is exposed.Literally. Because there is no back to the dress.If it were cut any lower, the dress would be revealing Rey’s ass.Kylo’s jaw drops.

 

“Rey is barely wearing a dress,” he complains.“Let’s go.This isn’t safe,” Kylo decides.“Let’s get them out of here—“

 

“Sit down!”Nestor tugs him down into his seat.“Sit down or they’ll see us.And we’re here, so they’re safe enough.For now.”

 

“I don’t like this—“

 

The conversation pauses as their waitress returns to hand off their drinks.She winks at Nestor and promises to return in just a moment.

 

“You and your green girls.”Kylo gives his friend a knowing look.“You know that your wife knows.And she’s standing just across the room, Nestor.This is dangerous.”

 

“What??I just flirt with them, I don’t fuck’em,” the Second Knight protests.“Cesi has no clue.And don't you dare tell her.”

Kylo smirks.“I might if you don’t agree to be my Senate Chancellor.”

 

“Drop it, boss.You’ve got bigger problems just now.”

 

Nestor is right.Kylo’s mouth settles into a hard line as he contemplates his girl’s naked back and naked legs displayed for all in the bar to see.“At least your wife looks like a lady.Rey looks like a high-priced Core whore.”

 

“Yeah . . . “Nestor doesn’t disagree.“It's hot.Look at her legs.”

 

That’s not the response Kylo was hoping for.“She's mine,” he orders to his second in command. “Hands off.Eyes off.And fuck you for looking.”

Nestor just grins. It’s pretty much impossible to get a rise out of Nestor Ren.“Hey, I’m just saying you've got good taste, bro. That's all.”

“I'm going over there,” Kylo decides again.

 

“No, wait.Just sit tight.”When Kylo clearly ignores this advice, Nestor gives him a hard look.“Look, if you make a scene someone might die.So stand down, Sith.”His friend muses aloud a moment.“Let's have some fun.Maybe we should send the girls a drink. Get'em a little drunk. Then, we saunter over and say hello and pick up our own girls.We'll definitely get laid.Afterwards, we can yell at them,” he adds as an afterthought.

 

“You're married,” Kylo points out.“You always get laid.”

Nestor scoffs at this.“You don't know shit about marriage, do you?I've been married ten years and I’ve got three kids.The honeymoon was over years ago.”

“Has it been ten years?”Kylo sits back because he’s taken aback at this math.“Damn, we're getting old.”

“Yeah.We are.”Both men sit side by side, still staring at the girls across the room.Nestor takes a long drink of beer and then asks, “You gonna marry Rey?”

 

“She won't have me.We’re on hold, remember?”

“What's the issue?You never told me the issue.”

 

“There are lots of issues.”

 

Nestor just grunts.“Well, patch it up.We're in Canto Bight.You can get married any time.There are drive thru wedding chapels here.You can hop in a speeder a single guy and hop out a married man.And look, you’ve got your best man and the matron of honor already here.”

“I'm not getting married here. It's tacky.”

 

“You’re a snob like Cesi,” Nestor accuses.

 

“Yep.And besides, the Sith marry in secret.At night in a temple.”

“Let me guess, there's blood involved?”

“Of course,” Kylo confirms.

 

They sit in silence some more.Drinking.Can this evening get any worse?Yes, apparently, it can.Because here comes some good-looking guy purposefully heading straight for the girls.“Don’t look now, but some guy is hitting on your wife, Nestor.”

His friend is his usual chill self.Nestor lets this news roll off his back.“Well, who could blame him?My wife’s a catch.It'll be fine. I trust Cesi.She won’t go upstairs with him.”

They watch together in silence a moment longer and then the reality of the situation is revealed.“Fuck!” Kylo snarls. “It's Rey he's hitting on.”Again, he makes to rise.And again, Nestor tugs him back down.

“Whoa, settle down, Sith.Don’t do anything stupid.It'll be fine.She won’t go upstairs with him either.”

Kylo has heard and seen enough.“I’m going to kill that bastard.”

“Sit down or she’ll see you.And then the game is up,” Nestor hisses.“You start a brawl in here and we’re dead men, Kylo.Maybe the girls too.He’s just talking to her.It’ll be fine.”

 

He’s just talking to her.Kylo is unconvinced.Because he had just talked to a girl in a wreck on Jakku once.And nothing has ever been the same since.And so as far as he is concerned, there is no ‘just talking’ to his Rey.“If that guy touches her, I’m taking his head off.”

 

“Boss, if he puts the moves on Rey, I’ll go over there.I’ll handle this.Not you.”

 

The Rodian waitress reappears now and Nestor turns his attention to charming her.Even with his wife across the room, Nestor is not deterred.Or maybe this is just Nestor’s passive aggressive version of payback.Kylo isn’t sure.But with Nestor occupied, that leaves Kylo alone to stare and to brood.

 

The Darker the Sith, the stronger his pull to the Light.His Muun Master had taught him this from the beginning.For the Force defaults to balance in the universe and in an individual. That's why so often the strongest Jedi were tempted by the Dark Side and why the fiercest Sith were known to have unexpected, sometimes stunning moments of compassion.Like when a Sith Apprentice opted to kill his tyrant Master in a Death Star throne room to save his prodigal son.In the end, the boy rejected all his father stood for, but the father gladly died for him all the same.Or when once a storied Sith Master opted to spare his traitor wife who had wandered into a Jedi temple one day to tell all.She was on her knees and his sword was out but he spared her anyway.

 

Those moments are not character flaws or crises of faith, his late Master had taught him.They are the consequence of great power.For as natural and universal as the Force is, Force users themselves are something of an aberration. Be they Light Jedi or Dark Sith, Force users disturb the default grey stasis.They disrupt the status quo of balance, tipping it to one side or the other.

 

The trick is to find out just how far you can tip the balance without reprisal.And this is an everchanging calculus, for there is a natural ebb and flow to the Force beyond what a single individual can control.Still, Kylo Ren is a Sith, like his grandfather and great-grandfather before him.And so his God is power.His challenge then is to achieve great power but not to risk the greater balance.To wield Darkness and be dominant, but not to smother the Light in himself or in the galaxy.And for that, he needs Rey.

 

She is the only Force-user known to be left. She has enormous natural talent and an effortless connection to the Force.And long ago she slid down a rope in a wreck and stole his heart.Forever will he be drawn to this woman.For herself and for her power.For Kylo is like a moth to the flame of her Light.Beguiled by its compassion and understanding even as he is arrested by her girlish smile and inherent self-possession.Everything about Rey is a siren's song to his heart and to his mind.

 

And that's why he seethes as he watches from afar in silence.Unable to tear his gaze from the sight of his girl primped and preening, flirtatious and bright.All Rey’s charm tonight is for another man.Her beauty is presented for others to see.For she had never intended him to see this.All Rey intends for him are terse answers to random emails.When he is lucky lately, Rey will tolerate him.But mostly, she rebuffs him.Time and again, she has rejected him.And romantic fool that he is, Kylo Ren keeps coming back for me.

 

The music is loud and Kylo is far enough away that he can't hear what Cesi and Rey are cheering for the first two rounds of drinks.But by the time the good-looking guy makes his move and others surrounding them have joined in, he hears the chant loud and clear.And it's his girl who is leading it.

 

“Fuck Kylo Ren.”

 

He clenches his jaw as he watches the small surrounding crowd react with high fives and grins.Tonight, there are many enthusiastic to mock him.

 

He’s not shocked or even that surprised at the scene of partyers.He's used to people hating him.To people wanting him dead.It comes with the territory of being Kylo Ren.This is what poor Nestor is grappling with right now, he knows.For the media—well, all people really—have a bias to separate the world into heroes and villains.It’s easiest to organize ideas into black or white, good or evil, ally or enemy, sacred or profane.The Jedi and, at one time, the Sith had preached this same wisdom.That there was Dark and there was Light and that was the only way to understand the Force.The truth of the Force is the truth of life.That things are far less clear and far more grey than anyone cares to admit.For to do so is to contend with the uncertainty and maybe fallacy of your own position.And to recognize the legitimacy and perhaps veracity of your enemy.

 

It turns out that wily old fox Ben Kenobi was on to something:truth is a point of view.Or, stated differently, beware of absolutes.

 

There it is again:“Fuck Kylo Ren.”

 

It is hard to be a complex man in a world of simple explanations.The galaxy at large will never know the struggle that it is to be the Sith Master Darth Ren.But Rey does.Or, she should.And that is why he is at once humiliated and hurt, angered and rejected.But most of all, he is sad.Because how had he and Rey gone so wrong?And is this what she and Cesi have been doing while he and Nestor are out risking life and limb to better the galaxy?Making a spectacle of themselves and mocking the First Order?Thumbing their noses at his noble struggle for the greater good?Doesn’t she know that this is hard, so very hard?

 

He watches in stone faced silence and there they go again, a pack of eight or ten at the bar cursing him as they down another round of drinks.The cheer is loud enough now that Nestor tears his attention away from the reptilian waitress to look across the room.He exchanges glances with Kylo.What he sees must worry him because Nestor puts a heavy restraining hand on his arm."Boss, pay it no heed.It's just a bunch of drunks blowing off steam."

 

Maybe so.But it's gone on long enough."This party's over," Kylo announces as he stands to his feet and shrugs off his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for dragging this out, but Chapter 54 and 55 were supposed to be one chapter, but things just got a little long. Well, a lot long. This whole fic is a LOT long. Thanks for anyone who is still reading this.


	57. chapter 57

It feels like she’s being watched. 

 

“Something’s wrong,” Rey mutters as she whirls and steps away from the bar, pushing past the handsome Kuat engineer Cade Biggs a step or two for a better view to scan the crowd. 

 

“Hey Rey, where are you going?” her new friend looks after her curiously.  Rey ignores him.  Her attention is elsewhere just now.

 

Everywhere she looks, there are people laughing, drinking and talking.  Everyone appears relaxed and happy.  Rey can’t find anything suspicious to justify her alarm.  But still . . . her unease persists.  And it’s growing.  Just now, a large group saunters in and they walk past her on the way to get a drink from the bar.  The group momentarily blocks her view.  For even in these heels, Rey can’t see over the heads of most men in the room.  But as the last straggler steps past, Rey once more has a clear view. 

 

And that’s when Rey sees him.  Kylo.  In the flesh.  All she sees is him.  Stalking towards her from across the room with his characteristic predator’s grace.

 

Rey’s heart skips a beat.  Maybe two beats.  First comes a frisson of fear.   Because she knows if Kylo wanted to lock her in Vader's castle for safety he won't approve of her being out in public.  And then comes a rush of desire.  Because, oh Gods, look at that man.  He's wearing black and white evening dress, like most of the men here.  Maybe it was an attempt to blend in, but to Rey's eyes he stands out as the most handsome man in the room.  She's never seen Kylo in anything other than a version of his uniform surcoat and tunic.  Tonight, he looks like a true prince with his distinctive height and proud, angular features.  This Sith is not a conventionally attractive pretty boy.  He looks like a man.  In the dim light, Rey spies the faint shadow of the healed wound Luke Skywalker gave him across the face.  It's a subtle, telltale sign of how Dark and dangerous this Sith Master is. 

 

He's the ranking Dark priest of the Force, and he comes complete with an ancestral castle on a lava world that practically cries out for tragedy and epic poetry.  A man always so intense, whether he is brooding at the helm of his great ship or lost in a Force trance seated before the relic of his beloved grandfather.  He wants to rule the galaxy, rule the Force, and rule her.   And that’s intimidating, infuriating and strangely tempting all at the same time.

 

Their eyes lock and hold for what feels like forever.  Then Rey turns away.   She closes her eyes and for a moment relives the memory of three days on the _Finalizer_ and one torrid night in Snoke's bunker.  Of a kiss goodbye outside her AT-AT followed by a rushed promise of the future.  Of an interrupted rendezvous, first in a conference room and then again in Snoke's lair.  Rey has both hands at her temples now, eyes shut in a futile attempt to block him and his memories out. 

 

"Is something wrong?" her engineer friend asks, moving closer.   “Rey, are you okay?  Maybe you should sit down.  You’ve had a lot of--”

 

“I’m fine!” she interrupts sharply, and it’s a boldfaced lie.  Because nothing is fine now that Kylo is here. "I just saw someone I know.  A guy I know."

 

Rey opens her eyes now and looks up.  Of course, he is there.  Kylo looms over her.  Dark eyes flashing with intensity.  He’s angry, of course.  Kylo Ren is habitually angry with her. 

 

"Let's go" is all he says. 

 

"Do you know this guy?"  Cade Biggs looks Kylo up and down and then turns to Rey for an explanation.

 

_Don't say my name_.  It’s Kylo’s voice in her head through the Force.  _Come quietly.  Now._

 

The conversation gets Cesi’s attention now.  “Rey?“  Her friend turns back from where she has been smoking a cigarette at the bar.  Lady Flick’s eyes find Kylo and grow huge.  "Oh,” is all she can manage for a moment.  This Coruscant socialite prides herself on handling any social situation with cool aplomb, but even she is at a loss for words.  “Hey . . . uh . . . hey there . . .” she stammers.   Despite being caught drunk and smoking, Cesi Flick has the presence of mind to be discrete about Kylo’s name.  She also has the quick smarts to infer the obvious. “If you're here, then . . . "  Lady Flick stands to her feet and pushes past both Rey and Kylo to stare across the room. 

 

Her eyes find Nestor standing with the Rodian waitress close at his side.  They are doing nothing incriminating, but apparently that doesn’t matter.  Cesi’s jaw drops and then her eyes narrow.  Her face is a picture of suspicion.   "What the FUCK??" Cesi screeches at the top of her lungs.  All around them conversations cease and heads turn. 

 

This is not good, Rey thinks. 

 

Kylo agrees.  “Cesi,” he puts a restraining hand on her arm.  “Stop and think first.” 

 

"She's gonna blow our cov--" Rey stops herself.   “Cesi, don’t make a scene,” she amends.  But Lady Flick looks like steam is about to come out of her ears.  Rey looks helplessly up to Kylo.  “Do something!” she hisses. 

 

"Keep your cool," Kylo tells them both in his voice of command.  “We’re leaving.  I’ll get him and we’ll talk in private.”

 

"Do you know this guy?" the engineer interjects again, glaring at Kylo.  “Who is this guy?”

 

“Look at that hair!  What the fuck is up with that dark hair??” Cesi is animated as she gestures hotly across the room at Nestor.   “And she's green, of course!”  Cesi shrugs off Kylo’s hand and the crowd recedes as she marches across the room.  Lady Flick takes one last long puff on the cigarette she’s still holding then tosses it to the ground to gracefully put it out with the toe of her stiletto.  

 

“Uh oh,” Rey breathes.  She exchanges glances with a now somewhat impressed looking Kylo.

 

Across the room, Nestor looks guilty and starts edging away from the waitress.  Cesi ignores him entirely.  Her attention is focused on the waitress as Cesi plants her feet and puts her hands on her hips.  “Get away from my husband, you green whore!” Lady Flick hollers. 

 

Those are fighting words.  The waitress puts down her tray of drinks, pops out her hip, and crosses her arms.  She says something in her native tongue that Rey doesn’t understand, but the body language and the Basic that follows is unmistakably clear.  “This loser is your husband?” she jeers.  “Bitch, you can have him!”

 

Cesi Flick has the smooth polish of a Senator's daughter borne to privilege and raised in entitlement.  She's a Coruscant party princess who in better days shopped at trunk shows and posed for photographs in borrowed designer dresses at benefits.  But in this moment, all of that falls away and suddenly she has the stance of a Lower Level urban girl ready to throw down for her man. 

 

Beside Rey, Cade Biggs breathes an excited, “Girl fight!” with a gleam in his eye. 

 

Kylo groans aloud and Rey shoots him a look.  “Do something!” she demands.  “Use the—“

 

“No,” Kylo decrees.  “And don’t you either,” he warns sternly.

 

Rey glances over to see Cesi and the Rodian girl exchanging shoves now while Nestor attempts to talk them down.  “I’m going to help.”  Rey makes to brush past Kylo to retrieve Cesi before things get out of hand.  Rey has seen enough fights on Jakku to know that things escalate fast and then they’re over in less than a minute.  Usually, decisively.

 

Kylo nabs her hand and clenches tight.  “Stay out of it.”

 

What??  “She needs help!”   Rey is not about to stand aside and watch her friend in trouble.  This isn’t Jakku with every man for themselves.  

 

“Relax.  He won’t let her get hurt.”  Kylo smirks.  He’s much less concerned than Rey is.  “This has got to be like some dream of his to have those two women fighting over him.”

 

“My credits are on the blonde,” Cade Biggs announces breathless at their side.  He, like everyone else, is transfixed by the escalating drama of the two women.  “Rey, your friend sure looks pissed.”

 

“I need to help her,” Rey exclaims tugging at Kylo’s grip.  

 

“No,” Kylo commands.  “It will be a brawl for sure if you head over there.  This whole place could go up in a bar fight.  Your political stunt certainly has primed this room for it.”

 

What, so this is her fault now?  Rey gives Kylo a disgusted glare.  “This is a neutral world.”

 

“Yes, and that means half of the people in here didn’t like your little cheer,” he informs her.  “Stay out of it,” he repeats.  “You’ll only risk making it worse.  Let him handle it.”

 

Rey doesn’t take her eyes off Cesi, but she doesn’t intervene.  Nestor has stepped between the two women and he’s trying to talk Cesi down.  From this distance, Rey can only make out some of his words above the loud music.  It’s something like ‘be mad at me, babe, not at her.’

 

Now that it looks like there won’t be any imminent hair pulling and dresses ripping, the disappointed engineer turns his attention back to her and Kylo.  “Who the fuck are you?” he demands of Kylo.  Then Biggs turns to Rey, “Who is this guy?”

 

“He's a friend,” Rey answers.  

 

As does Kylo simultaneously.  “I'm her boyfriend.”

 

“Is that true?” Biggs looks to Rey.

 

“No,” she answers.

 

Kylo too speaks up.  “Yes.”

 

The engineer looks from Kylo to Rey and then back to Kylo.  “Look pal, we were having a nice conversation until you showed up.  So why don’t you go find yourself another pretty girl to talk to.  This one’s mine.”

 

“The Hell she is!” 

 

Rey can feel the Sith’s temper rising in the Force.  And now there’s another fight threatening to break out.  This time, Rey hastens to intervene.  She puts her hands on Kylo’s arms and gets his attention.  “Hey, Ky-lo . . . Oh . . . Kyle.  Kyle.  Oh, yes.  Kyle.    Stop it, Kyle!”  

 

He scowls down at her.  “Then, let’s go.  Now, Rey.”

 

“I can’t leave Cesi!” she hisses and risks another glance over at her friend.  Nestor has one hand clamped on Cesi’s upper arm and he’s using the other hand to tip the outraged waitress.  No doubt an exorbitant amount.  Nestor is keeping the two women as physically far apart as possible.  Things look to be under control.    

 

“Now, Rey,” Kylo urges through gritted teeth.  “Let’s go.”

 

“Uh . . .” Rey hesitates.

 

And then the engineer jumps back into the fray.  “You heard her—she’s not leaving with you.  Now back off!”  He and Kylo stare one another down with Rey in between them.

 

“Is there a problem here?” the Utapauan bartender interrupts loudly from behind. 

 

“No, no problem,” Rey whirls to answer quickly.  “We were just leaving.”

 

“Is that true?”  The friendly bartender gives Rey a serious look before he gives her a way out of the situation.  “Because if there’s a problem here, I can call security to help you.”  The bartender looks newcomer Kylo up and down.  “We get our share of assholes around here, lady.  So if you need some help handling this one, we’ll get it for you.”

 

Rey is starting to panic a little.  The last thing this situation needs is for security to arrive and throw their weight around.  “N-No n-need.  We’re fine.  We’re all fine here now, thank you.  How are you?”   Beside her, Kylo smirks and looks like he’s about to burst out laughing.  Rey turns to her engineer friend.  “Look, some other time, Cade, okay?  I'm sorry--he's like this sometimes.”

 

“Is he really your boyfriend?” Biggs asks. 

 

Rey falters a moment and then answers, “Ummm . . .”  

 

“Let’s go.”  Kylo starts propelling her out of the bar fast.  Cesi and Nestor are already outside the entrance loudly bickering.  Kylo drags her right past.  They are just off the casino floor in the crowded walkway area that leads to the hotel elevators. 

 

“Am I really your boyfriend?” he growls a repeat of Biggs’ question.  “Damn right I am.”

 

“Let go!” Rey shrugs out of Kylo’s grip.  “Stop taking my hand!”  And now she and Kylo are the ones standing face to face out in the open bickering as people walk past.  “You’re not my boyfriend.  You were never my boyfriend.  You were more like . . . “  Rey’s voice trails off because what exactly are she and Kylo??   And what were she and Kylo??  Rey’s not sure how to put a label on them. 

 

He steps closer and his fed-up tone matches hers.  “Stop denying it.  Stop denying us.”

 

Indignant, Rey shifts her stance to give him her best Jakku stare down.  But the movement is precarious because she sways on her feet a second.  It's the high heels she's not used to combined with too many Resistance Rumor shots.  Rey now wishes she had never allowed Cesi to talk her into these shoes.  Four inch heels are a high degree of difficulty for a desert girl who has only worn flat boots and flat slippers. 

 

"Just how drunk are you, Rey?" Kylo demands angrily.  “And in public, in the open, completely exposed to all threats and half-naked!”

 

"I’m n-not drunk.  It's the shoes," Rey mutters.  "I hate these shoes."

 

"This is reckless!" he lectures her.  "Everything about this is reckless and irresponsible!"

 

She scowls at him. "I could say the same for you."  Because what the Hell is the Supreme Leader of the First Order doing drinking with his best buddy in a casino while all Coruscant burns?  She looks away.  Anywhere but Kylo’s angry face.  A lock of hair has fallen across his forehead into his eyes and Rey's hands are suddenly itching to brush it away.  To smooth the brow upon which rests the weight of history.  Because she is always so drawn to this man, even against her better judgment. 

 

"We just wanted some fun,” she explains weakly, still not meeting his eyes.  “It was Cesi's idea."

 

"I don't doubt that,” he snaps.  “But you were foolish enough to go along with it."   She sways on her feet again and he steps closer now to steady her.  "Look at me!” he demands.  “Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?" Looking back at the handsome Sith prince, always so intense and compelling, Rey thinks the most dangerous part of her folly is being alone with him now.  Well, not alone.  There are people everywhere, actually. 

 

"Are you even armed?" he asks quietly. 

 

Uhhh . . .   "Yes.  Yes, I am."   She has the Force after all.   And that counts for something.  Darth Plagueis used to think that meant everything.

 

"Liar," Kylo accuses.  And now his hands are all over her.  Feeling the contours of her body, down her back, one hand even snaking down to brush across her hip and plunge between her thighs.  It takes a moment for her slightly befuddled, slightly disappointed mind to realize that he's not coming on to her.   He's frisking her for a weapon.  "You're not armed," he concludes.  His mouth is a dark twist of disapproval. 

 

"I am."  Rey lifts her chin indignantly. "I have the Force."

 

That response gets his attention.  He searches her eyes a moment before agreeing.  "You’re so right."  Then Kylo dives for her mouth as he pulls her close.  It is a deep, hungry, suffocating kiss.  Dominant and plenty angry, like the Sith himself tonight.  This time, his wandering hands are a seduction and not a weapons check.  They are close enough now that she can feel that Kylo himself is armed.  She can make out the hard steel outline of his sword hilt under his coat and is that a blaster at his hip?  Well, maybe that's not a blaster . . .

 

The elevator door opens behind him and people flow out.  It's a group of guys pumped up for a night on the town.  Rey's face flushes red at their obnoxious whistles and catcalls.  She breaks the kiss and lurches back, suddenly realizing that she and Kylo are putting on a very public display.

 

"Get a room!" jeers a man's voice.  Others second his suggestion with lewd words of advice for Kylo.

 

"Come on."  Kylo pulls her back into the now empty and still open elevator. 

 

When the doors close, Rey turns to Kylo.  "Wait!  Where are we going?   What about Cesi and Nestor?"

 

"Nestor can handle his own wife.  They'll be fine.  We need to get some place more safe and less public."

 

“I don’t like leaving Cesi here.  Not after what happened--“

 

“Look, Nestor and Cesi are crazy for each other.  Nestor would be lost without her and they have been married forever.  He was just flirting with that girl.  He was never going to do anything.  Cesi is just being drunk and belligerent.  It will be fine once they fuck and she sleeps it off.”

 

"Oh,” Rey backs down.  “Okay, I guess.”  Because Kylo has known the Flicks far longer than she has.  “Where are we going?" she asks.

 

"My room."

 

“What??”

 

“You heard me.”

 


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those worried about trigger warnings, please see Notes at the end before you read.

“I’m not going to your room,” Rey scoffs as the elevator doors open.  Kylo heads one way out and Rey deliberately takes the other.   But she’s not exactly striding away fast in her heels.  He seriously doubts Rey could make a run for it in those shoes.  Kylo is thoroughly exasperated now as yet again he grabs for her hand and ignores her objection. 

 

“Stop taking my hand!” she complains as he tugs her along.  “I’m not going and I mean it!”

 

Again, he ignores her.  He has held his temper in for so long now that it’s starting to hurt.  The Sith are not known for their forbearance.  But Kylo knows he needs to get Rey someplace relatively private before he explodes.  He’s not done lecturing her yet.  Not done kissing her either.

 

“I’m serious, Kylo,” she warns and it’s indiscrete to use his name here.  But luckily, there are no other people in the hallway just now.  His name, like the rest of her words, comes out a little slurred.  Rey is hardly intimidating in her current state. 

 

Kylo feels her summon the Force now and he easily blocks her attempt at a push.  “Stop!” he orders, jerking her forward and sticking his face in hers.  “I’m not letting you wander around the casino alone, drunk and looking like that.” Rey will end up chained to a spice-smoking Hutt.  Or worse.

 

She eyes him resentfully and lifts her chin.  “I think I can handle myself.  And I’m not d-drunk.”

 

It’s more of Rey’s Jakku bluster.  And, honestly, everything about Rey’s desert scavenger persona is endearing.  Who knew he would end up falling for a tough cookie type like his mother?  But Kylo is not in the mood for an argument about this particular topic.  “You had better admit that you're drunk!” he warns sternly.  “You had better plead that your judgment is compromised and you aren't responsible for your actions.   Because if I start holding you accountable, Rey, you won't like the results.” 

 

She blinks at him.  Then opens her mouth to respond.

 

He beats her to it.  “Careful, Rey.”  His voice is low and intense.  “Because I just found you drunk in a bar dressed like a whore and cursing my name.  Mocking me to the cheers of the crowd.”  His voice drops lower still and it’s a harsh, raspy whisper to her face.  “How do you think Darth Plagueis would deal with that sort of disrespect, Rey?  You saw him punish Hux.  How would you like to explain your contempt to him?  Because I am Snoke now.  Before I was but the learner, but now I am the Master.”

 

“Cesi—“

 

“Lady Flick is her husband’s problem.  However politically embarrassing she may be, she is not a Light Side Force-user trained by Luke Skywalker.  And she is not a former Resistance fighter who only keeps her head through my grace and favor.”

 

Rey blinks at him again.   

 

“You yourself stand before me claiming you are armed with the Force.  So I will ask you only once, Rey.  Are you my enemy?   Or tonight are you just reckless, drunk, and immature?”  When she hesitates, he persists.  “Well?  Answer me!”

 

“I’m d-drunk,” she stammers.

 

Satisfied, he resumes dragging her forward down the hall to his room.  He doesn’t let go until they are safely alone inside and the door is locked with the Force.

 

She’s giving him the silent treatment now and he returns it in kind.  He watches glowering as Rey props one very bare leg and then the other on a chair to unbuckle the complicated straps of her stripper heels.  It’s hard not to notice how the movement tugs the skirt of her dress even higher.  An inch more and he’ll be seeing her panties.  If she’s wearing panties . . .  Fuck!  Is she seducing him or taking her shoes off?  He can’t decide.  But either way, she is succeeding.  Not that it’s hard.  She may be dressed like a whore but she is an angel of the Light in disguise.   And Sith that he is, he is drawn to the Light.

 

Finished, Rey stands barefoot with her shoes dangling from her hand.  Head held high. “Cesi and I have our own room.  I’ll go back there,” she informs him.  “It’s as safe as this place.  Maybe more,” she decides as she looks him over.  “Definitely more.”

 

He smirks.  “Three’s a crowd, Rey.  Cesi and Nestor are there.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Because he’s not here and this was our room.”

 

“Oh.”

 

He advances on her now.   Angry though he is, that impulsive kiss in front of the elevators has him wanting more.  And that strip tease just now with the shoes has wet his appetite further.  “You were here to pick up some guy for the night, right?”

 

“No,” Rey shakes her head.  “We were just having fun—“

 

“Well, surprise,” he drawls, ignoring her protests.  “You picked up me.” 

 

 

“Kylo, you've got this all wrong,” she warns as she backs up a step.  “We were only here to have fun—“

 

He raises an eyebrow.  “Dressed like that?  You look like you’re for hire, Rey.  Whether you were selling it or giving it away, you look like you are angling for a good time.”  She doesn’t have a quick rejoinder to that observation, so he smirks and chides her.  “What would Milo think, Princess?”  The dignified old Sith servant would sternly disapprove, Kylo knows.  Although old Snoke would probably love it.

 

Rey backs up another step and even without the heels, she’s unsteady on her feet.  Too many alcohol shots apparently.  She really is drunk.  And that reminds him . . .   “What was that cheer again?”  He reaches down to intercept the shoes she’s holding and tosses them back over his shoulder.  When she keeps backing up, he follows.  He’s got both her hands in his now as he steps close.  “Remind me how it goes, Rey, I forget—“

 

“No, Kylo—“

 

She turns her head away as he goes in for a kiss, so he lands on her cheek.  No matter.  He’ll start there.

 

“I remember that cheer,” he whispers between kisses.   His tongue is exploring her jaw and the whorl of her ear as he rasps.  “Fuck Kylo Ren, right?  Well, put your money where your mouth is, babe.  Come on and fuck Kylo Ren.”

 

“Stop it!”

 

“Fuck Kylo Ren,” he urges as his hands start hiking up her skirt.  He’s dying to know if she’s wearing panties.  Gods, he hopes not.

 

And that’s when she Force-pushes him hard across the room.  This time, he had been distracted and failed to anticipate her.  “I'm not going to sleep with you, asshole!” she announces as he hits the far wall and slides down.  When he looks up, Rey’s expression says it all:  she means it. 

 

Kylo stares back into her defiant face, considering his options.  The temptation to hurt her is real, for tonight her actions have hurt him.  He knows he could freeze her in the Force in a hold she can’t get out of and then have his way with her.  Or he could fry her with lightning and torture her into consent.  Or maybe he could steal her consciousness and use her inert body to slake his lust.  But then he would be little better than some criminal Hutt.  Plus, demonstrating his dominance will only push them farther apart, he knows.  It will provoke more conflict and nurture her natural opposition to him.  And it will not give him her Light.  He knows that hurting Rey will never win her love and her Light. 

 

Her cheer in the bar and her defiance now are just more rejection, and Kylo is demoralized by it.  For more than anything, he wants this woman to want him and to choose him.  But Rey never does.  At times, she will willingly surrender her body.  But never once has she surrendered her heart.  A Sith Master like himself is supposed to seduce the Light.  But he keeps failing at that task.  This is just one more way in which he will never equal his Master's aegis, Kylo fears.  And that too is demoralizing. 

 

Rey stares back at him, tense and poised for a fight that Kylo decides to decline.  After a long moment, he slowly picks himself off the floor. 

 

“Kylo??” Rey is thoroughly disarmed by this reaction.  “Are you o-okay?”

 

He locks eyes with her now as his mouth twists into a grimace. "When did I lose you?"  Kylo runs a distracted hand through his wild hair and sighs in frustration.  "Or were you never really mine in the first place?" 

 

It’s starting to feel like his dream of a future with Rey will turn out to be as elusive as his dream of ruling the galaxy.   Will chasing Rey be the same unexpected, unsatisfactory, and frustrating experience?  For nothing about conquering the galaxy has gone as planned.  Not the loss of Starkiller Base or the loss of Snoke, not the bloody trudge through the Mid Rim or the bitter urban war on Coruscant.  This was never going to be easy, but who knew it could be so hard?   He's so close to ruling it all and yet he can't quite close the deal.  It all feels just a little beyond his grasp--both the girl and the galaxy. 

 

"Kylo--" she protests but he doesn’t let her speak.  His frustration begins to pour out.

 

"We had something special!  It was real, Rey.  But you turned your back on it."  He pushes off the wall and stalks away as he complains.  "First it was for Jakku and your family, then for Luke Skywalker and the Resistance, then for Hux and Jakku again."  It is humiliating to catalog Rey’s rejections aloud, but it’s just more of the same.  His father hadn't wanted him, his mother had sent him away, his uncle couldn't teach him, and his peers had excluded him.  Only Snoke had truly loved and accepted him, but now his Master is gone.  And Kylo is desperate to replace him with Rey.

 

Rejection is a hard thing to take.  Not just because it stings the ego but also because it spurs him to action.  Rejection has long made Kylo yearn to prove them all wrong.  He's the embarrassing kid who fell short of his family's Rebellion legacy and so he set out to eclipse them all by being more powerful than Darth Vader himself.  Sure, he failed as a Jedi but look at him now as head Sith.  And they said he would never amount to anything.  That he had no drive or focus.  They were wrong.  

 

But all that power and glory doesn't seem to impress Rey.  And that's frustrating.  He's Kylo Ren, the richest, most powerful man in the galaxy, and yet he still can't get the girl.  He's always been way more into Rey than she is into him, Kylo sees.  He keeps chasing the girl who got away and she keeps getting away again and again. 

 

He throws his hands up and complains, “Why, Rey?  Why?” 

 

The question isn’t just about tonight, it’s about all of it.  Tipsy as she is, Rey seems to understand that.  Or maybe she has thought about this long and hard too.  “I don't know how to give you what you want, Kylo.  I can’t be who you want me to be.” 

 

He whirls to face her. "It's not hard!” he accuses.  “I just want you to be with me.  To care for me.  Is that so hard?  Why is that so hard?"   Why will no one love him?  All his life he has wanted this.  But time and again he is rejected.  His has grown a thick skin from all the scars of that rejection and so he doesn’t mind that ordinary people chant curses at him in a bar.  But he does mind that Rey is the one instigating it.  Because she was supposed to be his salvation and not just another hater.

 

The alcohol must be lowering her defenses because Rey too is spitting out uncomfortable truths tonight.  "I don't know how to care for people!" she wails and then bites her lip as if she might cry.  This is the legacy of her lonely life on Jakku showing, he knows.  He's offering her the belonging she craves and that scares her.   Rey might have been a great Jedi, Kylo sees with sudden insight, because for as much as she needs and wants attachment, ultimately she pushes it away.

 

"Everyone I have ever cared for--even the slightest bit--ends up dead, Kylo.  Do you know what that feels like?" Now the tears that threatened begin to fall.  “I think I am meant to be alone.  Maybe it would be best for me to be alone . . . “

 

"I'm not going anywhere, Rey.  The Sith are hard to kill."

 

"Maybe.  But their women are not," she counters hotly.  “Kylo, I know all the stories.  Your grandmother mysteriously dead and her children stolen.  Vader's mother tortured to death.  Snoke's Jedi wife hacked to death.  I don't want to be added to the list of tragedies, Kylo.  You are a dangerous man.  You have enemies everywhere.  Being with you will get me killed."

 

"I will protect you,” he promises, stepping forward now.  “I promise to protect you, Rey."

 

She’s unimpressed by his words.  Scowling at him as she wipes away tears and smears her makeup.  “I can protect myself, Kylo.  I've been protecting myself for years before you came along.  And I do it by avoiding foolish risks. And you . . . y-you are a f-foolish risk!”  

 

Therein lies the rub.  His survivor Rey avoids hurt in all things.  Kylo has long known this in the physical sense.  His girl never takes unnecessary risks, she chooses flight over fight when she can, and she will always choose to live, even if it requires her to kneel at the feet of Darth Plagueis.   But Rey avoids all emotional hurt too.  It has taken him far too long to understand how truly emotionally stunted Rey is.  Desperate for another's care, but suspicious of everyone's motives, and bewildered by too much closeness.   Rey is not afraid of the deadly Sith, instead she's afraid of caring for a Sith.  Or anyone else, for that matter.  Because his girl is damaged like that.  From her tragic family past, from the desert, and from the war.

 

“I told you that we are over, Kylo.  I mean it!  I can’t give you what you want and being with you will only hurt me in the end.  Maybe kill me like the rest of the Skywalker women.”

 

“You’re afraid,” he accuses.

 

“Yes!  I’m not going to die for you or anyone else, Kylo!  I am a survivor,” she declares, waving a finger at him.  “It’s who I am and what I do.  I survive.”

 

“You are a Sith princess, Rey.  You stopped being a desert scavenger long ago—“

 

“It’s who I am,” she disagrees.  “Jakku is who I am!  Fancy dresses and fancy titles don’t change who you are.  Stop trying to make me into something I’m not, Kylo,” she complains.  “You’re just like Snoke, aren’t you?  You’ve got a plan for everyone and everything and you call it destiny and blame it on the Force.  But it’s really you.  It’s always you!”

 

He is unrepentant.  “I’m a Sith Master.  Control is what I do.  You know that.”  

 

"You are never going to let me move on, are you?" she accuses hotly. 

 

“Is that what you were doing here tonight?  Moving on?” he demands.  This news has him surprised.  And upset.  Because no matter how many times Rey says it’s over, that’s a decision for him to make and not her.  And as far as he’s concerned, they will never be over.  Sure, he’ll concede that they are on hold, but that’s different.  "Rey, you can call yourself my sister, but I am not your brother.  And I will kill that guy downstairs or any other man who dares to covet what is mine."  He will never be able to think of Rey as anything other than his.  Because he is Sith and they are possessive like that.  He does not let go of things easily. 

 

"So it's you or nobody? Is that it?" Rey looks truly distressed now.

 

"Yes."  He steps forward, crowding her space as Rey stumbles back.  "It's me, Rey.  It was always, ever only me."  His words are part warning, part promise. 

 

"Why are you so controlling?" she complains as he reaches to brush back the soft curtain of hair that has fallen forward to partly obscure her teary face.   "How did you get so controlling?" she demands, searching his eyes.

 

How?  He knows how.  Because for years people had planned out his life for him, wanting him to fulfill their dreams of a New Jedi Order and a New Republic.  Somehow, he knew that what they wanted for him was wrong.  And so little by little he had asserted himself.  Until finally, miserable young Ben Solo had faced up to his conflicts and taken control of his future in a big way, leaving a trail of dead Jedi classmates behind.  He would not be controlled any longer.   Now, he would do the controlling.  He would hold the power.  And one day, he would make things the way he wanted them to be.  It had all come true and then some. 

 

His voice is a hoarse whisper as he cups her cheek with his hand.  “I control.  It’s what Sith do.  It’s who I am.  Don’t fight it.” 

 

Rey scowls at him.  She breaks free and paces to the side, weaving a bit in the process.  She has her arms crossed to hug herself.  “That’s just one more reason why we don’t work, Kylo.  Because I want to be free.  I need to be free.  Free like on Jakku.”

 

This annoys him.  He hates how she clings to Jakku.  “That’s an excuse and you know it.  You call it freedom to cloak your fear.”

 

She sighs.  “I can’t give you what you need, Kylo—“

 

“You have never once tried—“

 

 “I will not be controlled!”

 

“You have no choice.”  Where Rey is concerned, things feel a lot like Nestor's aborted peace talks.   Like the compromise is all on his side, time and again, and he still doesn't get what he wants.  Well, he is tired of getting nowhere for it.   So he's done asking with Rey.  Done hearing her say no.  He's telling her how it is now. 

 

"I am your Sith lord and Master," he informs her, stepping closer as she continually retreats.  "There are no choices but my choices.  No future but my future.  No love but my love.  No man but me."   She hits the wall now and he keeps advancing, reaching to cup her face with his hands before he goes in for a soft kiss.  His words might be harsh and domineering, but his lips entice.  Tonight, he will be gentle but relentless with his rebellious, wayward girl.  "Stop fighting it.  Stop fighting us."

 

It's a version of the message he plans to send to Coruscant.  First, he had asked nicely and the Resistance and their allies refused.  No more Mr. Nice Guy Sith now.  Kylo Ren has grown weary of the hopeless polarization of the galaxy.  Of the unresolvable clash of values.  He will have peace, if it means he has to flatten Coruscant to do it.   He gave the enemy a chance to surrender honorably and they blew it.  There are no second chances with this Sith. 

 

Except for this woman.  Because he is weak for his Rey.   And so while he might begin dictating to her, as usual, he quickly ends up begging.    She is not resisting his soft lips and slow hands.  So he takes things further and now she reluctantly starts to respond.  "Give us another chance," he whispers between rapturous, deep kisses.  She tastes like alcohol.  Like strong, potent alcohol.  He could get drunk on her kiss.  "Tell me you’ll try."

 

Her hands are up against his chest. Poised as if to push him back.  But in reality, they softly rest against him.  For she fights him with words only.  "Oh, Kylo, no."   She breaks from his kiss repeatedly to sputter out her objections. "We can't do this again.  I won't do--"

 

“Tell me you want me.”  Her dress has a wide and deep open back, so he simply tugs the front off her shoulders and down with a rough yank.  It exposes her perfect petite breasts for his attentions.  “Please, tell me you want this.  Tell me you want us.”

 

“No—“ she moans even as she arches against him.  From the very beginning they have had this magnetic physical chemistry.  He knows from experience that once she’s in his arms, she’s as good as in bed.   It will be even easier tonight since she’s drunk.  Rey moans again and now the Sith smiles into her neck.  He intends to take full advantage of Rey's current inebriated state.  It's not the gentlemanly thing to do but he is Sith and he doesn't play fair.  Especially not when the stakes are this high.  And besides, this is for her own good.

 

“Yes,” he presses.  He’s reaching up her skirt now.  She has panties underneath and he slides a hand inside.  Yes, it’s just as he thought.  “I know that you want me.  So say it.  Say that you want me.”

 

“No, Kylo—“ 

 

"Submit and I will let you rule me," he rasps out the complex truth.  For this is one of the taboo contradictions of the Sith.  They are strong but weak, cruel but kind, cold but caring.  They hate with a passion but they love just as sincerely.  It is disarming to truly know these men and complicated to love them.  They have no inhibitions and few rules and they don't know the meaning of boundaries.  The Sith are a law unto themselves.  Conventional morality does not apply.

 

Her panties are sliding down and her dress is too.  “You're going to get me pregnant again,” she gasps as she squirms.  “I don’t want to get pregnant again.”

 

He shrugs off this objection as he shrugs out of his coat and shirt, casting his sword aside in the process.  A baby is fine by him.  He needs an Apprentice anyway.  And just think of all the Force power their kid will have.  “All is as the Force wills it,” he vows as he revels in the feel of her bare skin against his.  Because Gods this woman is everything.

 

Rey is not too drunk to call him on his bullshit.  As her dress drops to the floor atop her panties, she complains, “Kylo, even Snoke believed in free will.”

 

Whatever.  Kylo doesn’t want to debate metaphysics.  He shuts her up with another long, suffocating kiss as he steps out of his shoes and starts unbuckling.  Soon, he’s as bare as she is.  “Come to bed,” he croons in her ear.  “Let me love you.”

 

She hesitates.  “Kylo, no—“

 

No??  “Yes.  You want this as much as I do.  Stop pretending.”  And they’re both already naked.  This is inevitable.  Can’t she see that?

 

“Kylo--“  She looks up at him, eyes soft and unfocused.  Is that the effect of his passion or her alcohol or both?  It doesn’t matter, he decides.  Because this is happening.  He wants Rey as much as he wants the galaxy.  And the ends always justify the means for this Sith. 

 

“I know you want me.  You want this.  Don’t deny it.” 

 

Rey opens her mouth to respond and then hesitates.  He takes it as a yes, sweeping her feet out from under her to carry her to the bed.  He lays her down gently but straddles her fast before she can roll away.  Now that he’s got her into bed, he can't have her slipping away.  Too many times, his Rey has slipped away.

 

"You're so beautiful," he says, admiring her naked beneath him.  Her sleek dark hair splayed across the pillows and her lips swollen from his persistent kiss.  "You and your Light are so beautiful."

 

"This is a bad idea.”   She looks worried. 

 

"Shhhh . . . " he soothes, reaching to lace his hands with hers.  He leans forward to kiss her reverently.  "Don't be afraid.  This is right.  We are destiny."   He believes this to his core. That Rey is sent to him by the Force.  That she matters, both for his future and for the future of the galaxy.  If she will let him, he will cherish her.  He will give her the galaxy, make her a Skywalker, and together they will unite the Force. 

 

He's got his tongue in her mouth and his hand between her legs and he is nudging her with his body.  “Open for me.”  It’s both a command and a coaxing request.  “Open your legs for your Sith.”  He’s done with foreplay.  She’s ready for him and he’s ready for her Light.  “Yesssss.”  He positions himself and then rams his body home, groaning as he shuts his eyes with pleasure.  “Oh, Rey,” he breathes as he begins to move.  “I miss this.   I miss everything about you.   I need you in my life.”

 

He’s the talker during sex but Rey is the louder of them both.  Alcohol, it seems, only makes her less inhibited.  Rey groans and slurs out her pleasure as he commits himself to the task.  Slowly withdrawing only to sink his body deep, over and over again.   It is a testament to his prowess, he decides, that his girl is so utterly lost in the moment.  It’s really hot, too.  But it’s inconvenient for their current location.  “Quiet.  You'll get us killed,” he mutters.  Passersby in the hallway are going to think he’s murdering her instead of making love to her.   The last thing they need to do is attract attention.

 

“Kyyyloooo!  Oooooo Kyyyylooo!”

 

“Shhh, Rey.  Easy, baby.”

 

“You’re soooo biiiiig . . . soooo deeeeep . . .  “  And, well, he doesn’t shush her that time.  But she keeps going and it’s a crescendo of slurred dirty talk that he would ordinarily love except not tonight.  So he silences her with a deep kiss.   _Speak to my mind_ , he tells her as he impulsively jumps deep into her head.  

 

Instantly, it changes the mood.  Rey flinches at his mental intrusion.  “Get out!  Get out!”  she cries even louder.  Half sitting up on her elbows now with her eyes wide with alarm.  Tonight, she will welcome his body thrust into hers but not his mind.   As usual, she rejects his attempts at intimacy through the Force.  “No!  Stop!” She is shaking her head as if she might shake him out of her consciousness.

 

_Relax.  Don’t fight me or it will hurt._ They are face to face now with him above her, still rhythmically stroking his body into hers.  He leans forward to let their foreheads touch to promote their connection. Kylo lets his own mental barriers drop and his mind is now as naked as his body.   _Don’t be afraid.  I feel it too.  Scream all you want in the Force.  There is no one to hear you but me._

 

_Kylo--_

 

_Let go, Rey.  Yes, that’s it.  Relax.  Let go of your conscious feeling.  Relax._  

_Kyyyyloooo._

_Yesssss._   This feeling is incredible and it feeds a need deep within him.  He is in her mind and in her body.  So dominant.  So Sith.  They share a physical connection and a mental connection.  All that’s missing is the emotional connection.  For what’s missing is her love.  Darth Ren won’t be a Sith Master with a revolving door of concubine slaves.  He only wants one woman and he wants all of her.  Mind, body and soul.

 

He shifts positions now to hook her legs over his shoulders.  Then he thrusts in hard.  As Rey grunts softly in recoil, Kylo realizes that he can feel her sensation as well as his own.  With their minds joined, sex is suddenly double the pleasure.  His and hers woven together.  And that just eggs him on.  In the future, this is how they will always come together, he decides.  They will join their bodies and their minds.  No other woman can give this to him.  For in all the galaxy, only Rey is his peer.

 

He sees in Rey’s mind now how greedy she is for their physical connection.  For she spent so many years never being touched.  She is a child who grew up without a hug or a kiss.  Even the incidental brush of a body past another in a crowd, a handshake upon meeting, or a friendly clap on the back rarely occurred for lonely Rey of Jakku.  And so on the _Finalizer_ she had come to him literally untouched.  His scavenger girl had been more than virgin pure, she had been starved for physical comfort.  It's why a single kiss gets her on her back on a conference table.  It's why a shower gets her writhing under him.  It's why she never truly turns him down.  Because her years long deficit of physical affection leaves her ripe for easy seduction.  She simply cannot resist him.

 

It's different for him, he knows.  Her past might make her crave his body, but his past makes him crave her love.  He is needy, oh so needy, and he knows this about himself.  Rey is the far hardier soul than he for emotional neglect has made her tough.  Maybe a little too tough.  Not so Kylo Ren.  Over the years, he has tried to fix his wounded psyche with princely glory, with rampant violence, and with anonymous sex.  But it's never enough because those fleeting pleasures are poor substitutes for love.   They cannot balm his insecurities, which run achingly deep.  For ironically this Sith's sense of self-worth is fragile.  Tonight with his mind open to hers, it all hangs out.  _Validate me, admire me, please me.  Praise me, follow me, serve me.  Comfort me, soothe me, pleasure me.  But most of all, love me and let me love you_.  He lusts as much tonight for Rey's heart as he does for her body and for her Light. 

 

He is lost in the intense pleasure of their flesh spiked hotter still by their intertwined minds.  The experience is almost too much as he continues to thrust hard, rubbing at something within that drives Rey wild and has her instinctively clenching him.  His friction has them each at the brink before long.  Then comes the dissolve of her mind, with his, into the Force.  It’s a brief oblivion from the blaze of her Light.  An overwhelming burst of energy that leaves her keening as her body quakes and gushes around him. Her power and her body overtaking his in an all too fleeting climax.  He basks in the shockwaves of healing Light that wash over him, bathing him clean of his many Dark sins.  Soon Kylo answers with his own guttural shout of triumph as he pumps himself into her.  Does she too feel the joy of his physical release?  Does she understand all he feels for her now?  

 

He is a Sith and he always wants more.  Sex combined with the Force is amazing, but it’s not enough.  He wants more than Rey’s body, he wants her heart too.  So he gathers her sweaty body up, sheltering her in his arms and laying her head upon his shoulder.  He can feel her fast heartbeat as softly she pants against his chest.  Their minds are still intertwined as he strokes her hair and outright begs, "Come back with me.  Now.  Tonight.  Please.”  Before she can decline, he lays all his cards on the table.  “It is your choice, Rey.  You can live at my castle or you can live on my ship.  But you can no longer live with the Flicks.”

 

“Why not?”  Rey looks stricken as she pulls back.

 

“You cannot be trusted there unsupervised.”  There has to be some consequence for tonight, after all.  And this is the most logical and also the lightest punishment Kylo can think of.   Old Darth Plagueis would think him too soft, but whatever. 

 

“Unsupervised,” Rey repeats hollowly.  “You mean you want to control me.”

 

Yes, but he would phrase it differently.  “I want to take care of you.  Rey, come with me to the _Finalizer_.  Come and let me love you.”

 

“I know what you want and I can’t give it to you,” she confesses miserably.  “I don’t think I can love you back.” 

 

He can accept that.  “Maybe not yet,” he allows.  “But perhaps in time.  Rey, let me help to heal Jakku."  He wants her to transcend the bitter legacy of Jakku.  To move past the loneliness that has her craving intimacy but fearing it all the same.  To relinquish the extreme self-reliance that is a source of pride but also a justification to push people away.  To get beyond the sense of abandonment that makes it so hard for Rey to trust and impossible for her to love.   They will never have a future together if she cannot let go of her past.

 

There's only one way he knows to help her and it's what he needs to help himself.   He will love her.  Whether she can return his love or not, he will make the effort.  And maybe it will help his Rey learn to love him back.   For more than anything, this Sith craves love. 

 

“Come back with me.  Let me love you,” he pleads again.

 

Like his grandfather before him, Kylo Ren was taught to deny himself all attachments.   But in the end, he too was unwilling and unable to do so.  Attachments are a family trait, for his great-grandfather had sought to remake the Rule of Two into a Skywalker dynasty.  To teach his own progeny so he could raise a loyal Apprentice who would love him.  All so that one day, wily old Darth Plagueis and Darth Vader could rule the galaxy as father and son.  The old Muun never got his wish.  But his bold attempts have forever changed the course of history and the Force. 

 

Power is the goal for all Sith.  But for the Skywalker Sith, love is their forever aching, gaping need.  For these powerful Dark priests of the Force are ruled foremost by their emotions.  And so it is natural for them to love and to need love in return. 

 

Rey stares back at him now.  In her mind, he sees her first instinct to say no.  And also, her temptation to say yes.

 

"Let me love you," he pleads.  "Don't say no.  You need this, Rey.  As much as I need you, you need this." 

 

She looks away.  “I don't know what love is.” 

 

“I will show you.  Let me show you.  Come back with me.  You don't have to be a true believer in the Order.  You just have to believe in me.  To believe in us.”

 

“I don’t know . . . “

 

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

 

“I’ll end up dead,” she answers truthfully.  Death is his scavenger girl’s first and foremost fear.

 

“I will protect you.  I promise to protect you.  What’s the second worst thing that can happen?”

 

_You will end up dead.  I will love you and you will die too.  Like all the rest_.  This answer she cannot speak aloud.  Instead, Kylo reads it in her mind as he watches her silent bleak face.  He understands.  Rey doesn’t want to know love and then to lose it. 

 

“The Sith are hard to kill,” he reminds her gently.  “Rey, if you are unhappy, you can always decide to live at the castle.  All I’m asking is that you come back with me and you try.”

 

“I don’t want to be your prisoner.”

 

“I don’t want you for a prisoner, Rey.”  She still doesn’t get it.  He wants a soulmate and wife, but he’ll settle for a girlfriend.  Never a prisoner.

 

Rey thinks a moment then starts negotiating like the scavenger she is.  “If it doesn’t work out, I don’t want to go to that dreary castle.  I want to move on, Kylo.  If we try and this fails, you have to let me go.  Forever.”

 

“Forever?” he echoes as he processes the implications of her offer.  He either makes it work with Rey or he is alone.  Forever.  He gulps as he realizes that she’s raising the stakes considerably.  She’s asking for a huge concession.

 

“Yes.”  She must see his hesitation because Rey promises, “I will try.  I don’t know how to love, but maybe you can teach me.  I need a teacher, Kylo.”

 

She’s right.  She does.  Kylo starts reciting the terms of the deal now.  “You will come back with me tonight.  You will live with me and be with me.  You will try to make it work.”

 

“Yes,” she concurs.  “But if it doesn’t work, you will let me go free.  Free to move on to another man.  Free to choose my own future.”

 

“And if it does work,” he counters, “We will marry in the moonlight in my temple.  I will be your Sith and you will be my lady, together forever in the Force.   You will bear my children and together we will raise the Skywalker heirs.”

 

She takes a deep breath, looking both daunted and suddenly sober in the moment.  “Yes.  Are we agreed?”

 

He gives her a long measuring look before he too takes a leap of faith.  “Yes.”

 

END of PART FOUR

 

More to come once I dream it up . . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains has sex with dubious/non consent issues. Rey has been drinking and well, Kylo is Kylo . . . .


	59. Chapter 59 Story Notes to Part Four

Thanks for reading.  Yes, there is more to this super long story, but I need to go dream it up.  The vague ending I had in mind hasn’t quite come together yet (I’m not sure I still like the idea anyway) and I feel as though this tale should not be rushed.  I’m at 200K+ words anyway, so it seems silly to truncate things now.

 

A few quick thoughts on Part Four:

 

I have written the character Kylo Ren a lot now.  He appears in slightly different versions in every Reylo fic, but I keep feeling like I just don’t quite get him.  The extreme emotional nature of him is so amazing.  Truly, I feel like it is one of the best parts of his character.  How he can be swinging a sword at Rey in the woods (violence, a Sith thing) and yet still be reaching out to make a connection with her (“You need a teacher!”)   Kylo is needy, oh so needy, like his grandfather Anakin Skywalker.  And he’s just as clueless about how to go about a relationship.  I could totally see thirty-year-old Kylo Ren saying clunky teenaged pick-up lines like Anakin says to Padme in the prequels.   And, let’s face it, whiny as prequel Anakin Skywalker was, by Episode 3 he was far more adult in his 20s than his grandson is at 30.  I wanted this story to really show that needy side of Kylo.   Yes, he is the conquering Sith, cruel and violent.  But that’s not all he is.  He also craves validation and intimacy.  A big part of him is scarred by rejection and so he keeps trying to overcome that. 

 

I also wanted to a write Kylo as a man who could never be a Jedi.  Even with all his Force powers, his personality is completely at odds with the Jedi ideal and his (and his family’s) attempts to force him into that role backfire big time.   And what do you do if you have the Force but you are not called to become a Jedi?   In this case, his only option is to become Sith.   You know that Snoke was waiting in the wings, ready to pounce on that kid.  If you’ve read my fic _A New Hope_ , you know that Snoke was plotting for Kylo long before he was born.

 

The theme of the Sith being complicated, sometimes contradictory men is all over this story.  Even in real life, people are not all that they seem in a single or even multiple meetings.  That's how the Kylo who Rey first meets is both the same man the galaxy fears and a different man too.  It’s the also how Kylo can manage to keep a best friend in Nestor Ren.   For there are sides to Kylo (and to Snoke) that are appealing.  Maybe even good.  

 

Kylo has a huge streak of idealism—like all the Skywalkers—only he expresses it on the Dark Side.  And Kylo doesn’t think he’s the villain, he thinks he’s the hero.  This was key for me.  He couldn’t cut it as a Jedi, so he went looking for another path.  He finds it with Snoke.  And now his methods have changed, but his goals are still the same:  he wants to make a better world. 

 

I also wanted to write a story that has a major character arc for both Rey and Kylo.  Too often, I feel as though my prior stories (with the exception of _His Padawan_ ) have Rey doing most of the growing and changing.  In fact, the whole point of _Fulcrum_ is that Kylo does not change from the monster we meet in Chapter 1.  For this story, I wanted Kylo to struggle to find his way both as a Sith Master and in his relationship to Rey.  I found the JJ Abrams quotes about Kylo being a villain "in progress" to be very interesting and inspiring for both this story and its conceptual precursor in thought, _His Padawan_.  I wanted to show Kylo unexpectedly thrust into the role of Sith Master before he feels ready.  He’s lost without a Master to guide and discipline him.  And he is grieving the loss of his father figure and mentor.  He is the sole surviving Skywalker and the lone Sith and that’s a lot of legacy to live up to.  A big part of Part Four and the upcoming Part Five is watching the progress of our villain. 

 

Rey too grows and changes in this fic, as she transcends her expectations as a scavenger.  She goes from waiting for her family on Jakku to learning the complicated truth of her past.  Then, she lives in a quasi-family relationship first with Snoke and later with the Flick family.   Rey needs this because she too is scarred from her upbringing.   She has these expectations that life will be perfect when she finds her family and when she gets a stable living environment.  But those revelations only lead to new and different problems in her life.  Plus, so much of Rey longs to be normal.  But she has a warped view of what normal truly is.  It’s not what she sees on the holonet.  Nor is it life with the Sith.  But it’s something in between, as Rey discovers with the Flicks. 

 

The trouble is that Force-users don’t get to be normal.  Not in the regular person sort of sense.  Rey has to come to grips with that and with what it means to be the Sith princess sister/girlfriend of Kylo Ren.   That’s not an easy thing and it’s not an overnight process.  You can dress in fancy clothes and look the part of a fancy person, but the insecurities are still there.  They take time to overcome.  Oddly enough, it is Snoke that first pushes Rey along that path.  He sees her potential in the Force and for Kylo and he wants to develop it.  

 

Rey’s isolated orphan past makes intimacy very hard for her.  She has a hard time committing to people and causes, whether it’s agreeing to be Luke’s Padawan and joining the Resistance, or committing to Kylo Ren and joining the First Order.  Her reflexive mode is to always run back to Jakku.  She can be very standoffish at times—even when she’s getting along with Kylo, her messages are terse and few.  She doesn’t really know how to be in a relationship.  That’s why her time with the Flick family is important.  It gives Rey a chance to see a real family, with their struggles and drama. 

 

Nestor and Cesi are far from perfect but they are also an enduring and happy couple—something that both Kylo and Rey need to see.  In that couple, Cesi is the more high-strung personality versus chill Nestor.  I like to think that’s how Nestor can get along so well with Kylo.  In some ways, Nestor understands and relates to Kylo like he manages his wife.  While Cesi may be in the background currently in her domestic role, she is critical to her husband’s personal happiness and success.  She might be a housewife, but she is by no means weak.  While her husband is off conquering the galaxy with Kylo, she handles everything else. I like it how the muscle man, military guy Second Knight might be in charge at the First Order and answer only to Kylo, but he does what he’s told at home. 

 

Rey and Kylo have a lot of conflicts.  Whether it’s in the Force, in their politics or in their life goals, these two have a lot to reconcile.   And Kylo, for all his neediness and desire for a future with Rey, is mostly predatory, manipulative and domineering in his approach to everything.  Rey for her part is not exactly the submissive, go-along type of girl.  That’s probably what Kylo needs, but that’s not what he wants.  The role of Kylo’s wife also entails a lot—think Kate Middleton combined with being First Lady.  It brings up a lot Rey’s insecurities and it’s a life she would never have chosen.  Still, heroes and heroines rise to the occasion and sometimes who we become is not who we thought we would be.  And, as Kylo is already discovering, sometimes you get what you want (or maybe more than you wanted), and it’s different than you expected. 

 

Stay tuned!


	60. Chapter 60:  Prologue to Part Five

PART FIVE:  PROLOGUE

 

_Approaching the First Order Flagship Finalizer, Coruscant Restricted Sector_

 

The Sith looks out the shuttle window.  He is enroute to his great ship that hangs in a low orbit above the warzone below.  He watches as the giant shield gate portal opens to admit them.  It is the only way on or off this besieged world and he controls it, like he soon will control everything else.  This is the power he holds over the lives of billions. 

 

This world was once the bright center of the universe.  But now whole portions of its cityscape have been reduced to rubble.  Every day, his march to victory proceeds a little further, sowing death and destruction in its wake.  And still, there are those who resist him.  Young fools and old fools alike, only now at the end do they understand.   Kylo Ren will let nothing will stand in his way.  For Coruscant and all remaining systems will bow down to his First Order. 

 

This was the dream of his forefathers in the Force, for this crown jewel world has long been the aim of all Sith.   And it has been his personal dream since as an awkward teen he knelt before the most powerful Dark priest ever to live to pledge his oath of fealty.  That was many years and billions of lives ago.  Before the sacrifice of his family, both the estranged ones who had it coming and the much beloved one who did not.  By grace of the Force, he is the last one left standing.  That is no accident, he firmly believes. 

 

As so this man stands resolute and determined.  Poised to fulfill his destiny.  He is the sole surviving Skywalker and the lone extant Sith.   But he is not alone.  Not any longer.  At his side stands a woman, his counterpart.  This lost princess has lineage as impressive as his.  And barely trained, her Force power easily rivals his.  She is Light to his Darkness, a Jedi to his Sith, and the promise of salvation for his many sins and counting. 

 

He lifts his right hand now and silently she accepts it.  Entwining her fingers in his as together they watch the shuttle enter his great ship.  This princess was once promised to be his prize for victory, to be his spoils of war.  But more and more, he thinks winning her will be the ultimate victory.  For her love may prove more elusive than winning the galaxy itself.  More satisfying, too.

 

Still, today Darth Ren is encouraged for the first time in a long time.  Silently, he vows to be the Skywalker who gets both the girl and the galaxy.  He plots to be the Chosen One to solve the riddle of balance long foretold.  He will be the strongman ruler to usher in a new era of peace and order, for he will save all these democratic fools from themselves.  And one day, the galaxy will thank him for it. 

 

He turns now to the nervous woman at his side and bids her “Welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's on, readers. Bear with me as this dribbles out in fits and starts. My head is bursting with the rest of this story, but it's not written out yet. Crossing my fingers I can pull this off. I really, really want to pull this off.


	61. Chapter 61

Rey watches in pensive silence as they arrive at the _Finalizer_.  Kylo had wasted no time getting them out of Canto Bight.  Rey had still been buzzed as they dressed and then disappeared onto the nondescript private civilian shuttle.  Right before takeoff, Nestor Ren had appeared to accompany them on the flight.  When Rey had asked him where Cesi was, she was informed that Milo was escorting Lady Flick back to the compound.  From the look on Nestor’s face, Rey knew not to pursue the issue further. 

 

Two hours later they are back docking at the First Order flagship and Rey’s decision is starting to sink in.  She’s agreed to live with Kylo on his star destroyer in a warzone amid fifty thousand loyal members of the First Order.  This isn’t going to be private and relaxed like Snoke’s lair, her more sober self realizes.  She peeps out the window into the busy hangar bay and spies a group of officers awaiting their arrival.  This must be Kylo’s staff she surmises.  It’s the wee hours of the morning and yet you’d never know it from the bustle of personnel all about. 

 

At her side, Kylo is busy tugging on his helmet.  It reminds Rey about her own appearance.  Suddenly, she is self-conscious about her tiny backless dress and her too high heels.  Her hair is still reasonably smooth but last night’s heavy eye makeup is a smeared, sultry leftover mess.   One peek at her reflection in a nearby window tells her that she looks . . . well . . . fucked.  And now, suddenly the whole agreement to live with Kylo seems completely unimportant next to her upcoming very public walk of shame.  Kylo is oblivious, of course, or maybe he just doesn’t care.  For all she knows, this will only add to his consequence. 

 

Nestor sees her unease as she lingers behind at the top of the shuttle ramp.  The Second Knight hastily unbuttons his surcoat and shrugs out of it.  “Here.”  He drapes the garment over her shoulders and Rey gratefully gathers it around herself.  “Cesi got you into this mess, I’m sure.  I’m sorry about that.  But hold your head high, Rey,” Nestor encourages softly.  “No one will dare say a thing because they know Kylo will murder them.  And if he doesn’t, then I will.”

 

That’s Rey’s first indication that here on the _Finalizer_ , everyone walks on eggshells around Kylo Ren.  He is indisputably in command and his fearsome and erratic reputation is known by all.  Straightaway, Kylo assigns Rey to a nervous young lieutenant on his staff named Dopheld Mitaka.  Mitaka will get you anything and anywhere you want to go on the ship, Kylo tells her.  Think of Mitaka as something like a concierge.   But there's one catch Rey soon learns:   the lieutenant must know where she is and who she is with at all times.  It's for your protection, Kylo explains.  This is a warship in a warzone.  And if Hux can turn traitor, then anyone can.  In the event of an emergency, I want you to be safe.  When Rey starts to balk, Kylo adds that her alternative is to accept a full security detail.  I thought this was the preferable alternative, he issues a vague threat.  And phrased that way, yes, it is.

 

Rey is officially Princess Renata Palpatine onboard the _Finalizer_ , as she was known during her prior two visits with Milo.  She and Kylo keep up the fiction from the peace talks that they are brother and sister.  It confirms what the rumor mill believes and helps to explain how she lived after that screaming match in the medibay and her cameo appearance on the bridge.  And, all in all, it's better than being known as Kylo Ren's lover.  But Rey has no idea how Kylo had explained to Mitaka why she is now living in Kylo’s quarters.   And she doesn’t ask.

 

Kylo wears his mask all the time when he is outside his quarters.  Rey isn't used to seeing him in the helmet so much.  The modulated voice.  The blank stare.  It takes some getting used to.

 

"I never know what you are thinking behind that helmet," she complains one night as he steps inside his quarters in his full regalia.  He has just called out his usual smirking ‘Honey, I’m home’ to announce his arrival.  It’s equal parts annoying and sweet.

 

“That’s the point of the helmet,” he explains easily as he sets it down.  “But not for you.  Rey, if you want to know what I’m thinking, just get inside my head."

 

"No, thanks,” Rey declines.  “Your head is a scary place."  And while that’s generally true, it's more that Rey doesn't want Kylo in her head.  She doesn't like the idea of Kylo being in her thoughts.  Because once you’re in someone’s head they are also in yours, she has learned. 

 

"I am pretty scary," he grins.   Being called scary apparently counts as flirting to a Sith.  He crosses the room to greet her with a kiss.  “But that's not what you were thinking last night."

 

Rey blushes.  "That's different."  Having sex with their minds intertwined is different.  Very different. 

 

“Suit yourself,” he lets the point go.  “I’m hungry.  What’s for dinner?”

 

At Kylo’s request, Rey resumes her appearances on Snoke’s throne as the Sith princess.  Milo begins arriving a few times a week to ferry her to one of Snoke’s bunkers.  Those days, Rey parades to and from the hangar bay in her finery.   In the uniformed monotony of the _Finalizer_ , everyone wears a unisex variation of black, white or grey.  So when Rey appears in public dressed in her regal couture dresses, she draws every eye.   She is much whispered about, Kylo tells her with glee.  He loves her air of mystery and how it adds to his own.

 

On the days Rey is not playing princess, she has Lieutenant Mitaka show her around the ship.  Those days she wears a nondescript female officer’s uniform that shows neither rank nor insignia.  It helps them to blend in a bit, and now Mitaka is the one who gets the attention.  For although the nervous lieutenant is not high-ranking, he is known to be on Kylo Ren’s personal staff.  As a consequence, others tend to leap to do his bidding.  No one wants to risk being badmouthed to Kylo Ren. 

 

It’s not long before Rey becomes bored with her ongoing ship tour.  I need a job, she complains to Kylo.  You’re gone all day, sometimes all night.  I have too much time on my hands.  This is as bad as being stuck at Snoke’s bunker, only without the homework to read.  Rey’s solution is to join a work crew in the hangar bay.  She’s just itching to get a hydrospanner in her hand and set to work on a TIE.  But Kylo vetoes that idea, telling her she’s not a mechanic any longer.   You’re a princess, he tells her.  Do something a princess would do.  I don’t care what it is, but it needs to be consistent with your role.

 

That gets Rey thinking.  She only knows of one other real princess and that is Kylo’s mother.  So she starts googling Leia Organa on the holonet.  Rey ignores all the Rebel hero, New Republic senator, and Resistance general stuff, instead looking back to his mother’s very young days as the Crown Princess of Alderaan.  Back then, as far as Rey can tell Leia Organa spent her time on charitable endeavors and humanitarian relief missions.  All of that turned out to be a cover for Bail and Leia Organa’s efforts to coordinate the Rebellion.  But the point remains—it was a good cover because those activities were what everyone expected of her.  Princesses appear places to help people and bring attention to causes and issues.  And that too gets Rey thinking.

 

The _Finalizer_ plays looping footage of the latest war dispatches, interviews and commentary on screens everywhere throughout the ship.  It's incessant happy talk about the cause and its heroes.  But freethinking Rey can see beyond the bubble of the First Order's perspective.  She looks past the footage of Kylo and his stormtroopers to the terrified faces of the untrained, poorly armed civilians who they face.  As she watches pictures of prisoners parading with hands raised, she looks on with compassion and not the usual righteous scorn.  For Rey is interested in the enemy. 

 

These are the people who scuttled her hard-fought peace deal.   These are the diehards who refuse to give up and give in.  They are ordinary people defending what's left of their homeworld.  Rey wants to understand them.  She's a girl who has fought a few battles in her time but who has declined to fight more often than not.  And she has never risked fighting for a lost cause.  It’s why she didn't fight Unkar Plutt, she learned to live under him.  She would rather submit and live than die on principle.  So Rey has a hard time making sense of the homegrown Coruscant Resistance.  Why isn't living under the First Order and Kylo Ren akin to her living under Unkar Plutt?  If she understands that, Rey thinks she will know the key to achieving peace on Coruscant.

 

After a few weeks of watching all this suffering and many hours of researching Kylo’s mother, Rey decides that she wants to see Coruscant for herself.  And she decides to do it as a princess.  Like the young Leia Organa might have.  So one morning she tells Lieutenant Mitaka to take her down to the surface.  I want to see a detention camp, she tells him imperiously, as if daring him to say no.  Mitaka looks dubious and stammers that he will have to clear it with Kylo.  But half an hour later, Princess Renata Palpatine is accompanied down to the warzone by the now especially nervous Mitaka, two squads of stormtroopers, and an overtly annoyed looking Seventh Knight Sayeed Hasan who has been conscripted to act as her personal bodyguard. 

 

What Rey sees on the surface is sobering.  The camp holds people of all ages, species and walks of life.  There are a disconcerting number of children among those imprisoned.  Some are teenagers who had joined the cause, some are adolescents caught throwing rocks and jeering obscenities at stormtroopers, and some are just kids who were picked up along with their parents.  Are all these people dissidents, Rey wonders as she passes an elderly woman in a hoverchair.  She doesn’t look like a threat to anyone, Rey comments.  When she asks why the woman is here, no one seems to know.  So Rey approaches to introduce herself and ask outright.  She hears a tale about how a militia member had stolen this woman’s speeder and used it in a raid.  The speeder was later recovered and traced to her, resulting in the woman’s arrest.  The story is plausible and to Rey’s Force-attuned ears it sounds mostly true.  But it’s certainly not the whole truth.  Likely, this old woman volunteered the use of the speeder.  And for that, she is indefinitely in jail.  That seems to be a pattern repeated over and over again.  Petty transgressions and small, even non-violent acts of support for the militias land you in detention.  So does being in the wrong place at the wrong time, knowing the wrong people, or being related to a known militia member.   All in all, there are hundreds of thousands of Coruscanti now housed in First Order camps.

 

All around her, Rey senses sadness and despair more than she senses outrage and resolve.  These people are tired of war.  They are not soldiers or ideologues by trade.  Most of them look like they want to go home and resume their former lives.  Rey takes note.  Because if these people who supposedly support the Resistance feel this way, then the vast majority of Coruscanti sitting on the sidelines of the war might feel that way too.  And maybe that is the path to peace.

 

Later that evening over dinner, Kylo cross-examines her about the visit.  What prompted it, what did she see, what did she think.  Rey chooses her words carefully.  She only has one complaint and it’s an issue near and dear to Rey’s own experience.  Those kids at the camp ought to be in school, she argues.  No matter what they have done or what their parents did, they should be in school.  That’s not a bad idea, Kylo muses.  The next day he tells her that Commandant Hux will be arriving to oversee setup of makeshift classrooms at the camps.  No one knows indoctrination techniques better than the Commandant, Kylo tells her.  He’s the perfect guy for the job.  And, well, that’s not exactly what Rey had in mind.  But it’s something, at least.   

 

Her trip to the surface prompts Kylo to teach her some of his signature Force tricks.  My kid sister should know these things, he tells her with a grin.  Plus, if you are going to keep up these mercy missions down to the surface, you need to know how to protect yourself.  The very next day, Kylo spends the afternoon teaching her to freeze an opponent with the Force.  Then he commandeers the _Finalizer_ ’s firing range to teach her to stop blaster bolts. When a squad of stormtroopers arrives for routine target practice, they find Kylo Ren firing round after round at Rey’s head.   The ship buzzes for a week debating whether or not the weapon is set to stun.   

 

Kylo turns out to be a very patient teacher and this surprises Rey.   He’s a different man when he’s speaking reverently of the Force than when he is stomping through his star destroyer with a crowd of underlings trailing in his wake.   This Kylo is animated and earnest.  Not at all cold or commanding.   It’s more like he is sharing these secrets with her and he seems delighted to do so.  It’s fun for her and fun for him.

 

Once she has mastered freezing blaster bolts and people, Rey starts angling to learn more.  She’s a girl from Jakku, so she understands the value of self-defense.  And, well, she’s in a warzone sleeping next to the First Order’s mastermind Sith.  She could use a few pointers on protection.   “Can I have a sword?” she wheedles one morning as she sits across from Kylo at breakfast.  “Snoke would never let me have a sword.” 

 

Kylo raises an eyebrow over his cup of caf.  “You want a lightsaber?” 

 

Well, yeah.  Duh.  “Who wouldn't want a laser sword?   It's way cooler than a blaster.” 

 

He frowns at this, reflexively becoming his elitist Sith self.  "It's not about being cool, Rey.  It’s tradition.  Force users always wield a sword.  Swords require finesse and training.  They are elegant weapons.  Blasters are so uncivilized.  Any fool can point a gun and shoot it."

 

"So . . . do I get one?"  Rey gets right to the point.

 

“I’ll think about it.”

 

“You’re no fun,” Rey accuses as her eyes narrow and her chin raises.

 

“Don’t pout,” Kylo chides her.  “It’s immature.”

 

“I am not pouting,” Rey pouts. 

 

Later that day, Kylo arrives home early.  ‘Honey, I’m home’ catches her curled up on the couch barefoot in her borrowed uniform with her nose in a datapad.

 

“In here,” she calls and Kylo stomps in already sans mask and surcoat.  He’s carrying what looks like two lightsaber hilts.  When Rey looks up, Kylo tosses one to her. 

 

"What is this?   Is this a sword?" she asks, as she leaps to her feet.  “It’s a sword!”  She does a happy dance while he looks on amused.

 

"It's a training sword," he informs her.  "Same unbalanced heft and feel for the swing.  None of the danger.   The blade will sting and bruise a bit, but it won’t cut or burn.  I'll use one too.  That way no one will get hurt."

 

Rey makes a face.  She's disappointed.   What’s she going to do with a sword that only stings?  This doesn’t seem like much protection at all.  "This thing looks like a toy some kid would play Jedi with.  I want a real sword," she grumbles. 

 

"And I want you to keep all your limbs," Kylo retorts.   He looks sort of boyishly excited about this whole sword thing now.  Her enthusiasm must be infectious.  "Well, go ahead,” he urges.  “Turn it on."

 

"Red?" Rey complains as the practice saber ignites to life.  She turns to him.  "Red??   Really?"

 

He rolls his eyes. "Don't tell me you were expecting blue?"

 

"Green maybe?" she tries again.

 

"Red," he decrees. "No respectable Sith princess would swing a blue sword.  And besides, the Sith don't exactly keep Jedi training tools hanging around.  That's like tempting fate."

 

Five minutes later, Rey is doing her best to imitate Kylo’s sword stances he calls forms.  “You learn the forms until they become second nature and are committed to muscle memory.  So that they flow with your body during combat.  Swordplay is a bit like a choreographed dance.  There are classic forms, traditional attack patterns and defenses, and signature moves and passes.  I will teach you to master them all.”

 

“Okay.”  But Rey is a pragmatist when it comes to things like this.  Frankly, she could care less about the sword lore of the Jedi and the Sith.  “What I really need to know is how to deflect blaster bolts and how to kill someone.  There are no Jedi left to duel, Kylo.  I need to know how to defend myself.  And how to kill, if necessary.”

 

“Oh, we’ll get to killing.  But we’re not starting there.  This is a proud tradition.” Kylo is sounding more priggish by the moment.  “It is my obligation as Sith Master to pass on what I know.  This knowledge is lost if it is not shared.”  He says this with such utter seriousness that Rey takes note.

 

“Okay.  Show me that last bit again.”

 

Kylo complies and Rey awkwardly imitates.  “Is this right?  This doesn’t feel right . . . “

 

"Lean into it more,” Kylo suggests as he surveys her critically.  “You know, you look entirely too cute doing this.  Why did I wait so long to do this?  Do that wiggle your ass thing again."

 

"What?"  Rey looks up, distracted.  She shoots him a look and then again she awkwardly imitates his movements. 

 

He’s laughing now.  "Yes, that.  Do that.  I like that wiggle."

 

Rey breaks her stance and glares.  "I'm not wiggling my ass."

 

"Are too.  And it's cute."  Kylo’s dark eyes are dancing now.  He looks relaxed and happy, she sees.  Not like his usual weary self who marches through the door each night full of complaints about the Resistance and his senior command.  "That wiggle is definitely something a Sith girl would do during a fight.   We Sith don't fight fair.   Remember that.  We use every advantage.  And that bony ass of yours is an advantage."

 

Bony ass?   Instinctively, Rey smooths a hand over her rump.  It's not bony.  It's not big, but it's not bony.  Not anymore.  Girls like Cesi Flick are self-conscious about being too fat, but Rey of Jakku is self-conscious about being too thin.  No woman is ever happy with her body as far as Rey can tell. 

 

"Do I distract you?" she challenges, mentally shoving aside her insecurities.

 

"Everything about you distracts me," Kylo admits with a wry smile.  "And you know it."

 

She goes back to practicing her forms.  This is going to take some effort, she thinks.  And lots of practice to make her series of stances effortlessly fluid like Kylo’s movements.  He reminds her of a dancer.  This man might stomp angrily around his star destroyer, but he’s remarkably graceful with a sword in his hand.  It’s impressive. 

 

"This is nice and all, but when do I get to actually fight?" Rey wants to hit something.  For real.  Maybe it’s the red sword in her hand, but she’s ready to fight.

 

“Do you still want to kill me?” he laughs.  "I love it. You're such a bad Jedi girl.  The Force is for defense, Rey, never for attack.  Isn't that what old Uncle Luke taught you?" 

 

"He didn't teach me anything about a sword,” Rey complains.  “It was all moving stuff around."

 

"How typical,” Kylo smirks.  “’Feel the Force flowing through you’ and all that?"

 

"Yep.  Pretty much."

 

Kylo smirks again.  "Well, go ahead and take a swing at me."  She does and he leaps back.  "Oh ho!" he crows.  "I forgot how much you like swinging a stick at people.  You're bloodthirsty, scavenger."

 

Rey gives him her best steely eyed look from her Jakku days.  She was good with her staff and she’s proud of it.  And while a lightsaber is nothing like a staff, it requires the same concentration and reflexes.  "On Jakku, the best defense is a good offense."  Then she takes another swing at him.

 

"Oh, you truly are my Sith princess," Kylo leers, looking delighted.  "Come at me again from the right."

 

"Like this?"

 

"Yes.  But faster."

 

"Like this?"

 

"Perfect."   He flicks his wrist and suddenly her sword is ripped from her grip to fly across the room and bounce off the wall.

 

"Oh."  Rey stares at her empty right hand that had gripped a sword a second before.  "You're good," she breathes.

 

"I can be disarming," he jokes. 

 

Rey groans.  "You're killing me."

 

"Yes," Kylo agrees.  He has his sword tip poised at her throat.  "You're as good as dead."

 

"So what do I do now?  Beg for mercy?"

 

"Use every advantage," he reminds her of his earlier advice. 

 

Rey thinks a moment.  "So, I should wiggle my ass?"

 

"You're a fast learner.  Drop it like it’s hot, Rey," he smirks.

 

Rey raises an eyebrow and then decides on an alternative tactic.  She starts unbuttoning the front of her uniform. 

 

That gets his attention.  The sword tip does not waver, but Kylo’s eyes definitely do.  They are following the path of her fingers as she works her way down from her chin.  "Do that slower," he rasps as he stares.

 

She ignores him and continues the striptease.

 

"I said slower," he commands nudging the sword tip closer.  “I want to enjoy this.”

 

"I don't fight fair either," Rey retorts.  Now she's easing the uniform off her shoulders.  Kylo looks like he's about to drool.  "I might out-Sith you yet, Kylo Ren."

 

He recovers and brandishes the sword ever closer.  "Do you yield?"

 

"What do you think?"   Rey pauses with her jumpsuit all the way down her torso and resting on her hips. 

 

A slow, sly grin spreads across his face and for a moment Kylo strongly reminds her of Snoke.  "I see you have the banter part down," he drawls.  "Talking trash is part of the duel."

 

“I’m from Jakku, remember?  I could probably teach you a thing or two about trash talk.”  He's staring at her pink bra.  Rey takes full advantage of his distraction.  She reaches out a hand and her fallen practice saber flies into her grasp from across the room.  It ignites.  And now the duel is rejoined only Rey is half undressed and in her bra.

 

Kylo looks happy as could be.  Of course, violence with a bit of sex thrown in would be his thing.   And now Rey wants to roll her eyes.  But she doesn't have time because Kylo is swinging fast and she is struggling to keep up as she keeps retreating.  Out of breath, she is fast losing ground and heading for the wall.  She tries to dart to either side but he's got her hemmed in. And now their swords are locked and his face is in her face and her back is against the wall.

 

"Yield," he demands.  Rey sees clearly his lust to dominate.  Apparently, Kylo can't teach her how to use a sword until he beats her.   Well, okay.  Whatever.  Maybe that’s a man thing.  Or a Sith thing.  She'll play along. 

 

"Yes," she breathes, panting now from the exertion.  "Yes, I yield."

 

"Yes, what?" he prompts her. 

 

She blinks at him.  Huh?

 

"Say it, Rey."  He leans into his sword now pressing his strength down on her hers.  Rey is strong, but she is not a match for this man's strength or skill.  "Let me hear you say it.  I am Snoke now.   Say it."

 

"Yes, Master."

 

“Very good.”

 

He drops his sword now and casts it away.   Then grabs hers and does the same.  Before she can think, his mouth descends on hers.  His hands leave her body and start working the uniform and her panties down her hips to drop to the floor.  She is immobile still, pinned not by his strength but by the Force. 

 

She closes her eyes.  As always, his aggression excites her and scares her a little.  She is downing in his kiss, breathless at his desire.  She's expecting him to carry her to bed--he likes to carry her to bed--but not tonight.  "Oh, Master," she pants out the words that had set him off and he loves it.  And something in her thrills to have pleased him. 

 

Abruptly he releases her and then twirls her around.  She's facing the wall now but pinned again with the Force.  Levitating a bit too, she realizes with some shock. 

 

"You're too short for this normally," he growls out his explanation as he grips her hips.  Now he is grinding into her from behind and she feels his bare body against hers.  When did he undress?   She wasn't even aware of it.  He lifts her hips and she spreads her legs and suddenly he is thrusting into her from behind.  She's held by the Force and gripped by his hands as he pounds into her with deliberate effort. 

 

Wow, this is wild.   Really wild.  But Rey likes these things down and dirty without all the lovey dovey stuff.

 

Kylo jumps into her head.    _Say it again._  

 

"Master!"

 

_Again_.

 

“Maaaaster!  Oh, yeessssss, Maaaaaster. . . "

 

_You are mine.  Forever mine.  Say it. You belong to me._

 

Rey can’t think straight just now.  She’s got her arms up braced against the wall as Kylo buries himself into her from behind.  This isn’t like most nights when Kylo stares deep into her eyes as he makes sweet love to her and whispers endearments.  This is dirty, sweaty sex with a Sith.  And Rey loves it.  _Fuck me, Master.  Fuck me hard_.    

 

He complies.   By the time it's all over, they do end up in bed.  Pretty much every night, they end up naked in bed.  Rey lays in the crook of Kylo’s arm, dozing in the afterglow.   Sex is great, but this part is even better.  This closeness feels good.  It feels natural, not forced.  And not threatening.  Closeness can feel a little threatening.

 

“We never ate dinner,” he reminds her as he strokes her hair.  “Are you hungry?”

 

“No.”

 

“You're never hungry.  I'm hungry.”

 

Rey rolls over now to prop herself on his chest.  She has something to ask him.  “Kylo, I want to restart the peace talks.” 

 

“And I want to eat dinner.”

 

“I’m serious.  Let’s try again for peace.”

 

He sighs.  “Rey, nothing has changed.  There's no point in peace talks so long as the locals keep fighting.  Dameron doesn't control those guys.”

 

Yes, she knows.  “Forget Poe.  Let's talk with the locals.  If the Resistance has no authority here, then let's bypass them.” 

 

“What are you saying?”  He’s listening now. 

 

“Forget the formal Resistance.  Make peace on Coruscant.  Treat for peace with your real enemy--with the locals here on Coruscant.   Their goals might be different from the goals of the Resistance anyway.” 

 

“Cutting a deal with the locals for Coruscant only won't win me the Core,” Kylo points out.  “And the locals don’t have much organization. They don’t have any true leader.  That means we don’t have anyone reliable to negotiate with.  It’s a bunch of terrorist fanatics,” he complains.

 

“But so goes Coruscant, so goes the galaxy, right?”

 

“So I’m told,” he grumbles.  “That was the justification for your buddy Hux’s whole strategy.” 

 

“So make peace here.  Now.  Forget Poe.”   She thinks back to the camp she saw.  “Kylo, I think a lot of everyday people here might be ready to make peace.  And if enough people get behind the idea, it might expose the fanatics for who they truly are.  You should make them look more like fanatics and less like heroes.”

 

“That’s easier said than done.”  But Kylo is warming to the idea.  “Poe and the Resistance will look irrelevant if we succeed.”

 

“Yes.  And you will look magnanimous.  And if we fail again, you will still look magnanimous.  You tried twice to end the bloodshed.”

 

“Did you wait to get me in bed for this conversation?” Kylo asks suddenly.  “Because we always seem to have serious conversations in bed.”

 

“Yeah, I did,” Rey readily admits.  “Use every advantage, right?  And . . . uh . . . we’re in bed a lot, Kylo.  A lot.  Plus, it’s the only place you aren’t obsessively checking your datapad.”

 

“I always know something is important if we’re naked when you tell me it,” Kylo teases.  But he sits up now and gives her a serious look.  “Do you really want this?”

 

Yes, she does.  More than anything.  “I want peace, Kylo.  I want the killing to stop.”  She wants the camps to be emptied and all those people to go home.  Then all the kids can go back to their real school.

 

“Nestor’s not going to want to do this.  He thinks a peace deal is a lost cause.”

 

“Then I’ll lead it,” Rey volunteers before she thinks better of it.  “I mean . . . if you want . . . I will lead it.  As the Sith princess and all . . . ”

 

Kylo nods thoughtfully.  “I’ll think about it.  What did you order me for dinner?  I’m hungry.” 


	62. Chapter 62

Playing house with Rey turns out to be an excellent idea for lots of reasons.  But mostly because it’s fun.  Fun like how Kylo remembers their early days hanging out together on Jakku. 

 

He hasn't lived with someone since his teen years at Snoke's bunker with his Master and Milo down the hall.   His quarters on the _Finalizer_ have long been an oasis of peace and quiet.  But they were isolating too.  Like the mask and the uniform, like his rank and the Force, it's one more way he is separate and apart from others.   Not so any longer. 

 

Now when he walks through the door and takes off his mask, Rey is there waiting for him.  He gives her a kiss and she hands him a beer.  Then, Rey is his nightly dinner date who listens as he vents the frustrations of the day.  In return, she tells him things she’s learned about his flagship.  She relays updates from Milo and anecdotes from her official audiences.   He’s careful not to talk too much about the future and Rey never wants to discuss the past.  So sometimes they talk about nothing.  Afterwards, she coaxes him into watching some silly holonet video or he prevails and they watch podracing.  Or maybe, he critiques her lightsaber forms and they spar a little.  All in all, it is lowkey as the day winds down.  And that’s fine by him.  When your days are pressure-filled and your responsibilities are many, sometimes even an intense Sith just needs to veg.

 

Inevitably, he picks up his datapad to work some more and Rey curls up next to him on the couch with hers.  These days, his work is never done.  There is an endless list of matters for his attention and tasks for his authorization.  Kylo understands now why Snoke was known to work all night and all day.  Kylo delegates plenty to Nestor but that only lightens the load a little.  Still, he's actually working a bit less now because he knows that Rey is waiting for him.  There's a reason to stop work now and it feels good to set some boundaries. 

 

For her part, Rey has left her mark on his private world.  Gone is the nondescript, blandly military-issue look to his rooms.   They look lived in now.  It's not just the girl stuff on the bathroom counter and the dresses that crowd his uniforms in the closet.   It's the half eaten blue protein muffin that is sitting on the table beside a crumpled napkin and her datapad.  It's the discarded pink bra that hangs over a chair in the bedroom and the red slipper that peeks from beneath the bed.  It's homey and mundane.  And it's kind of nice.

 

Chilling with Rey is more than dinner and his datapad.  It’s a lot of sex, and the sex is absolutely glorious.  And very frequent.  Kylo gorges himself on her body and her Light.  Nightly, he basks in the spiritual renewal and physical release he finds in Rey’s arms.   It’s all pretty conventional, actually.  Kylo mostly likes to be romantic in bed.  He wants their pleasure to mean something.  And who needs kink when sex is combined with the Force?   Bedding Rey is a rush as good as casting Force lightning, as good as combat.  

 

He needs this more than even he himself knew.   For now that the Coruscant occupation has entered an especially brutal phase, Kylo returns from the surface or from yet another endless meeting and he is Dark . . . oh so Dark.   And that just strengthens his call to the Light.  Like all Force users, Kylo Ren is something of a freak of nature.  By day, he disrupts the status quo of the Force to tip it to Darkness.  And by night, he seeks reconciliation with the universe in Rey’s arms.  For her intense connection to the Force sends shockwaves of healing Light washing over him.   For those few precious seconds, Kylo is bathed clean of his sins.  Night after night, Rey’s nubile, willing body filled with Light enables his Darkness.  

 

Then he rises and it begins all over again.  The executions, the interrogations, and the strategic operations.   The political intrigue, the blackmail, and the bribes.  The work of the Supreme Leader entails everything from currency manipulation to plans to fix the upcoming Senate elections to ensure a First Order supermajority.  Some of it is distasteful, lots of it is boring.  But he is a Sith and where power is concerned, he does what must be done.  He does not hesitate and he shows no mercy.  And it's all a little easier now that he knows Rey will be waiting for him in his quarters.  Rey is the crutch he needs to do the dirty work to win the war.  

 

She is not a weakness, he rationalizes, for she bolsters and renews his power.  He thinks there might be no limits to his Dark power if he can regularly return to Rey’s arms for communion with the Light.   He will be the ultimate Sith by day as long as he can secretly worship her Light by night.  His power combining with hers to be unstoppable.   This is balance, he tells himself.  Maybe not the balance of the Force in the greater scheme of things.  But it is a form of work life balance and something of a personal balance of the Force for him alone.  More and more, Kylo is convinced that Rey has been sent to him by the Force.  That together, they are the salvation for each other and for the galaxy.  That they were meant to be.

 

In bed, Rey calls him Master but oftentimes he thinks she is the one in control.  For first his Darkness rules her Light and then he is humbled by it.  It’s addicting.  There are nights when he drags himself back to his quarters in the wee hours to find Rey already sleep.  Often, those are the nights he craves her the most.  So, he slides into the sheets next to her and wakes her with a kiss.  Then he's in her mind and in her body and Rey and her Light make it all better, if only for a few moments.  

 

It might not be very Sith of him, but he’s mushy in the bedroom.  For of the two of them, Kylo is the talker.  Between kisses and caresses, he stakes his claim on her heart.   _I want you, I need you, never leave me._   He tells Rey this over and over.  Yes, he’s a possessive Sith, but it’s more than that.  It’s the attention Rey never received and the emotion he is determined to share.  And maybe if he says it enough times, Rey will come to believe it and accept it.  _We are destiny, you belong to me, I am your Sith._    His crew thinks he’s Rey’s brother, as Sith Master he is also part father, but in bed Kylo is all lover.   He will gladly play all the roles he can and show her all the ways that a man can protect, care for, and value a woman.  Because as far as he is concerned, Rey is the most precious thing in the universe. 

 

Is this working for Rey like it's working for him?  Kylo thinks yes, but there are days when he's not so sure.  Rey can be a little distant and she doesn't talk much about her feelings.  She's far more introverted than he ever realized, happy to spend several hours a day completely on her own.  Another woman might complain about his long hours, but not Rey.  He comes to realize that she needs this space.   The isolation of Jakku turns out to be a hard habit to break. 

 

He has habits that are hard to break too.  Like how he continually pushes.  He’s a Sith and so he’s impatient and demanding by nature.  He’s possessive and he likes to control.  It goes against his personality to be patient.  Plus, this girl is a keeper and he wants to seal the deal. 

 

“I want you to marry me.”   He tells her this one night in the afterglow, hoping she’ll be sufficiently contented and moved by the experience to say yes.

 

But no such luck.  Even dozing and snuggled into his side, Rey has the presence of mind to reject him.  “I’m too young to get married,” she yawns.  “And I don’t like commitments.”

 

Yes, he knows.  His girl doesn’t like commitments because for years she had believed the lie that her family would come back for her.  Even if that belief was based mostly on hope, it was a broken promise nonetheless.  And it has robbed Rey of the ability to trust.  But Kylo Ren keeps his commitments.  She can trust him.  Can’t she see that?  “I need an Empress,” he complains.  “Not a girlfriend.”

 

“You don’t have an Empire yet,” she tells him dryly.

 

He laughs.  “I have three-quarters of the galaxy.  Will that do?”

 

“Nope,” she turns him down.  “That’s not good enough for me.  Ask again when you rule it all.”

 

“It’s only a matter of time.  Rey, I will need an Empress.”

 

“If that’s what you want, then you need another girl.  Someone like Cesi Flick.  I’m not Empress material.”  Rey yawns again and ironically pulls him closer as she tries to shut down the conversation.  “I’m tired.  Let’s go to sleep.” 

 

Kylo refuses to take her hint to drop it.  “You are an excellent Sith princess,” he encourages.  “And the only person you would have to please is me, Rey.  We can figure the rest out.  Look how far you’ve come already.” 

 

Rey sits up now and she looks spooked.  “I’m just a scavenger,” she whispers and he hears her insecurities screaming loudly at him.  “You know that, Kylo.  I’m not ready to be that kind of public figure.  I doubt I’ll ever be ready for that.  Kylo, you need to marry some other girl.  Some girl who wants that.”

 

He realizes now that he has said the wrong thing.  Instantly, he backs down.  “Okay, Rey.  You don’t have to be an Empress right away.  But I want you to be my wife.  I don’t want any other girl.  I only want you.”

 

She gives him another defensive look.  “I’m not ready for marriage.”

 

“You said you would marry me,” he reminds her softly.  “That was the deal.  You would marry me if this works.”

 

“You’re rushing things.”  She looks truly annoyed now.  The spell of the afterglow is broken.  “We’re not ready, Kylo.”

 

“I’m ready.”

 

“And I’m tired.”    That ends that discussion.  For now. 

 

He gives Rey the run of his ship.  He doesn't micromanage her activities even if he is constantly updated on her whereabout.  She had said that she wanted freedom, so Kylo attempts to give her as long a leash as possible.  Snoke had done much the same at his bunker, Kylo recalls.  And if the controlling old Muun could do this, so can he. 

 

Rey is still the Sith princess and Milo collects her in the hangar bay to act as the First Order’s stand-in head of state.   Milo tells him that Rey has gotten quite comfortable in her ceremonial role and that encourages Kylo for the future.  One day, Kylo plots, his Empress Rey will stand behind his throne.  Not as a silent observer like she was with Snoke, but as a wise, tempering voice that speaks up.   And perhaps from time to time Rey herself will sit atop his throne to rule on matters of state that interest her.   For if they are to find this elusive balance, Rey will need to contribute to his Empire for her influence to be felt.

 

After the first few weeks on the _Finalizer_ , Rey begins making trips down to the surface to hand out toys at detention camps and to accompany relief supplies.  The PR guys love it and Kylo is fine so long as Rey is suitably protected.  These sorts of mercy missions are appropriate for her princess role and they are a step towards the public role Rey will ultimately play as Empress.  Little by little, Kylo plans to ease Rey into the future he has planned for her. 

 

But for now, Kylo keeps her face and name out of the war news broadcast to the galaxy at large.  But on Coruscant where he controls all media, Renata Palpatine quickly becomes a household name.  Everyone comes to recognize Kylo Ren's kindhearted little sister.  His media types edit the footage to make certain that Rey is presented as earnest, caring and gentle.  They like to film her in soft, gauzy focus, with the light behind her.  Framing her in shots that emphasize her youth and beauty.  In her pastel princess dresses with loosely flowing hair, Rey looks nothing like the rest of the First Order. 

 

Rey sounds nothing like First Order either.  Why is she here? _I am here today to make children smile._ She turns to address a crowd of assembled prisoners:   _I look forward to the day when you can go home._ Responding to a heckler who cries that Kylo Ren murdered his son:  _I am truly sorry for your loss.   May the Force be with your son and with all of Coruscant._ Rey gives simple, apolitical quotes into the microphone in her crisp Upper Level accent that fools everyone on this besieged world into thinking she is one of their own.  And maybe, she is a little on their side.  For her enigmatic words are vague enough that both sides can construe them to fit their agenda.

 

This would all be masterfully manipulative, Kylo realizes, were it not completely genuine.  Rey might be playing princess in her fancy attire and formal demeanor, but her sentiments are no act.  For these are the views of the girl who grew up amid the death and decay of the last war.  Kylo knows that when Rey flies over the wreckage of Coruscant, it reminds her of Jakku.  She wanted better for herself back then and she wants better for these people too.  Rey will never understand how he sees war as a tool.  Because she only sees it as a waste. 

 

Of course, no one but him realizes that she has no side in this war.  For from the time Kylo first met her, Rey has been trying to stay neutral.  To be a force for peace and not an advocate for any side.   Another man might be threatened by this stance, but not a Sith.  All things considered, Kylo would much prefer that Rey’s loyalty be to him personally and not to the First Order.   Causes come and go and change, but he will not.  Rey is his lady and her allegiance is to her Sith alone. 

 

Rey’s fame comes in handy when Kylo decides to agree to her request to restart the peace talks.  It's the only thing Rey has ever asked of him.  And given all she is providing to him in this arrangement, Kylo feels he owes her something.   And who knows?   Maybe it will work this time.  Rey is well positioned once again to broker peace, thanks to her newfound status as the compassionate face of the First Order. 

 

“I like your idea about brokering peace for Coruscant alone,” he tells her over breakfast one day.  “I think you’re on to something, Rey.”

 

“So we can restart the peace talks?”  A broad smile splits her face.  Rey stops gobbling her ration muffin.  “How do we do that?  Who do we negotiate with?”

 

“Leave that to me,” he tells her.

 

That morning, Kylo arrives at the largest prison camp.  Standing in full view of everyone, he spends an hour searching through prisoners’ heads for information.  He’s done this sort of interrogation hundreds of times before and he’s quite good at it.  He’s efficient too.  One by one, the lineup of twenty-odd captives fall screaming to their knees as Kylo calmly rips apart their memories.  He spouts off the important names he discovers to an aide who cross-checks them against the prisoner database.  If the names are in custody, they too join the lineup for interrogation.  If not, then they become the most wanted men for the First Order.  After a few hours’ work, Kylo is satisfied that he has discovered a sufficient sampling of the men and women who count as ringleaders of the local militias.  He orders the most hardcore of the bunch to be executed.  But the rest he orders to be brought aboard the _Finalizer_. 

 

Rey and her retinue appear just as he is finishing up.  Kylo hadn’t known that she was heading to this particular camp today or he might have warned her.  She silently takes in the scene.  The small group of prisoners in shackles with the telltale bloody drips from their noses and ears as testament to his Force interrogation.   Off to the side, a larger group of prisoners lie on the ground slain by firing squad. 

 

“Oh!” Rey says softly, looking stricken. 

 

Instantly, he knows that she is reliving her own interrogation at his hands on Kardura.  Kylo jumps into her mind.  _Everyone is watching us.  Be careful what you say and do._  

 

Rey nods solemnly, eyes wide.

 

_The interrogations were necessary to determine who you and Nestor can negotiate with.  No one died today who was not culpable.  And those who died did so quickly and cleanly.  This is war.  People die, Rey._

He beckons her forward and she comes to a halt at his side.  He gestures to the group in chains and speaks loudly.  “Sister, among the enemy, I have found you reasonable men and women.  You will hear their complaints and demands.  Speak with them and find common ground.  If you bring to me a proposal for peace, I will consider it.”

 

“Yes, my lord,” Rey answers in formal tones.  But she keeps glancing away and to the side.  To the group who died by firing squad.  One man, apparently, is not dead.  And that annoys him.  His stormtroopers are such bad shots that they can’t even hit unarmed, unmoving targets.  Kylo lights his sword and heads over to put the prisoner out of his misery.  Violence is his tool for power, but Kylo Ren is not gratuitously cruel.  He’s no sadist like Sidious.

 

Kylo is preparing to finish the job his stormtroopers bungled when Rey stops him, sinking fast to her knees in the dirt.  She casts up a hand to wave him off.  “No, Kylo.”  He heeds her request and then he and everyone else silently watch as Rey takes the dying man’s hand and holds it.  The moment probably only lasts a minute, but it feels like forever.  Then, the man passes and his hand goes limp to slip from her grasp.  “May the Force be with you,” Rey blesses him as she reaches to close his eyes.  The cameras catch it all as Kylo reaches a hand down to raise Rey to her feet.  His beautiful princess is dirtied now and her skirt bears bloodstains.

 

Holding the dying man’s hand is an act of dignity and compassion that is very Rey.  But it’s also great propaganda to reinforce her public persona and establish her relationship to him.  Renata Palpatine is the sister who Kylo Ren respects.   She alone can forestall the swing of his sword.  Kylo is going to milk this fortunate turn of events for all it’s worth. 

 

“Bring me a proposal for peace,” he speaks loudly to be heard.  Then he turns back to the group headed to the _Finalizer_ and adds a threat.  Darth Plagueis taught him long ago that magnanimity is the hallmark of a strong leader, but it is the exception and never the rule.  “Princess, be sure to bring me the names of those who are not reasonable.  Any among these people who do not want peace will die by my sword.” 

 

Kylo looks on as his princess steps forward to the terrified group of survivors.   _Hello, I'm Rey._   Quietly, she introduces herself down the line, shaking hands with each befuddled prisoner. Rey always introduces herself like she's a scavenger back on Jakku at the Niima Outpost and not the heiress to the Empire.  There is not an ounce of pretension in his princess.  But she is regal nonetheless.  It is the same disarming self-possession that had first impressed him back on Jakku.  This is the natural confidence and poise of the girl who had once told him to be quiet and let her do the talking. This is what Snoke had seen straightaway when he had maneuvered her into playing princess in the first place. 

 

Yes, he thinks proudly as he looks on, Rey will be an excellent Empress.  She just doesn't know it yet. 

 

Or maybe she does, but she’s afraid of it.  Because . . . Jakku.  How he fucking hates Jakku.

 

Later that day, Kylo and his retinue are heading from a conference room back to the bridge when he comes upon Rey and Mitaka in the hallway.  She sweeps up to him in a cloud of black velvet and soft perfume.  Rey still has on that same dirty dress from this morning.  It peeps out from beneath the black hooded cloak Rey has put on to hide it.  Kylo is starting to like that cloak.  It's very Sith wifey looking.

 

“My lord,” she greets him formally.  Rey only calls him Master in private.  Mostly in bed.   But he’ll take it.

 

"Walk with me," he invites and Rey falls into step beside him.  He's half expecting to hear recriminations for the scene at the camp earlier, but Rey says nothing.  Does that mean everything is okay or is he getting the silent treatment?  Or is this too public of a setting for the discussion and she's waiting to tell him off tonight?

 

Gamely, he dives right in without any preamble.  They both know what he's talking about, after all.  "There was no other way to efficiently extract information out of those prisoners, Rey.  They have no permanent damage.  Had we beat the names out of them, there would have been permanent damage."

 

"I know."

 

They are side by side and she's not looking at him. That's a bad sign, he thinks.   So he keeps up his explanation.   "The dead ones had it coming.  They were terrorists with blood on their hands.   They were never going to reform their views.  Killing them solved a problem and keeps them from living to continue their activities."

 

Again, her response is a clipped "I know."

 

"My violence always has a purpose.  And this is war.  People die."

 

"I know."   She comes to a halt now and he stops too.  His entourage nearly falls over themselves at the abruptness.  Rey turns to face him, looking him squarely in the eye through his mask. "I know you, Kylo.  I know your violence.  Firsthand."

 

"You're still here."  He smirks behind his mask. 

 

"Only because there is more to you than violence," Rey snaps back.  She eyes him with a mixture of disappointment and resignation.  "I want this war to be over," she sighs and starts walking again.   “I’m hoping this new peace deal will work.”

 

And that reminds him.  "Are your new friends in the detention block?"

 

"They are in some empty barracks on D level," she answers.

 

Now it's his turn to stop in his tracks. "You're letting those prisoners live like crew on my ship?" he hisses. 

 

She nods.  "They are well guarded and constantly supervised.  I don't want to treat them like the enemy while we try to make peace."

 

"So I'm supposed to treat them like unruly teenagers instead?" he gripes.  “What's next?   Will they turn up in the officers' lounge on poker night?"

 

"They are our guests.  Nestor was fine with it."   They enter the elevator to the bridge now along with his silent and very interested staff.  "Kylo, if you want them to see a different side to the First Order, you need to show them something other than executions and prison.  Treat them with dignity and respect.  These are proud people.  It is not easy for them to accept being conquered.  And that is essentially your goal."

 

"So when do you and Nestor start conducting your therapy sessions?" he drawls. 

 

"Tomorrow.  And these are listening sessions.   We are listening and learning from their prospective.  Then, we will bargain."

 

"Their perspective is pretty clear," he observes dryly.   "They hate us and they want to kill us.  Make no mistake, this war is not a failure to listen."

 

"Nestor said I could do it my way."

 

Yes, he had.  Nestor had argued that Rey has good instincts.  And, of course she does.  Rey has the Force.  All this smacks of her compassionate Light Side nature and so Kylo had been willing to give a negotiated solution one more try.   In the interest of balance, he will give his girl a seat at the table like Snoke once had.    But there are limits to his willingness to indulge this crazy scheme.  He won’t continue this effort unless it shows real progress.

 

"I'm taking an awful risk with this, Rey," he warns as they exit the elevator onto the bridge.   All heads turn in their direction but the vast majority of eyes are on Rey and not on him.  His princess seems oblivious to all the double takes and frankly appraising looks she garners from his mostly male crew.  "This had better work." 

 

Rey brushes off his concern. "There is no risk.  You have these people in detention, the same as before.  The circumstances are just a bit different.  Life here for them is just a softer prison, Kylo."

 

"They are lucky to be alive.  I don't like this."

 

Rey shoots him a look.  She's overtly arguing with him in a way no one else other than Hux ever dared.  She's got her arms crossed and her head cocked and her chin raised.  It's weirdly reminiscent of his mother. But it's also very Rey.  He's always loved how his girl stands up to him. And he doesn't care that she does so publicly.  She's his pretend little sister after all and in his experience families always fight.  "I don't like this," he repeats.

 

She throws her hands up.  "Well, what would you like, Kylo?  Your current strategy isn't working.  Not fast enough, at least.  It's time to try something new. The worst we can do is fail again. And even that you can spin to your advantage."

 

"I'm giving you and Nestor two weeks to make progress."

 

Rey isn't cowed.  His scavenger girl is never intimidated.  He loves that too.  Well, basically he loves everything about this woman.  "Have you got a Plan B?" she challenges.

 

"This is Plan B."

 

"Is there a Plan C?"

 

"No.  It's back to Plan A."  He will just kill his way to peace.  That was the original idea for how to deal with his enemies.  He will wipe them out.   All of them.   Just like his grandfather and Sidious had handled the Jedi Order.

 

His ship is crawling slowly in a low orbit around Coruscant.  As the ship creeps out of the dark side of the planetary rotation, the bridge is suddenly lit by the bright glow of the galaxy's famed capital world.  Rey is thoroughly distracted at the sight.

 

"Oh," she exhales in wonder.  She quickly steps past him to the prow of the bridge.  Rey stands silhouetted against the shining world that he has coveted for so long.  It's his favorite spot on the ship and he walks to join her. 

 

"It looks so peaceful from up here," she remarks softly.  Hopefully.

 

She’s right.  It does.  Kylo reaches to take her hand in his.  “I want peace, Rey.  I promise you that I will make peace.”  He means this with utter sincerity.   One way or another, he will make peace.   Turning towards her now, he promises, “Things will be different when the war is over.”

 

“I hope so,” she whispers, still staring out at the city world below.  “I really hope so.”

 

Standing there hand in hand with Rey, he too feels hopeful.  Ever since Rey came to live with him, he has felt more hopeful.  But this moment now encapsulates it all.  Rey, the powerful beacon of Light, holds the hand of the reigning prince of Darkness.  They are the two sides of the Force united together for a common cause.  This unity was the dream of a wise Dark lord who sacrificed for sentiment like his own Sith son before him.    And it is the hope for us all, Kylo thinks. 

 

For she, like him, is born from a line of Jedi and Sith.  But that is where the similarities end.  She is the orphan scavenger from a graveyard Rim world.  Raised destitute and alone.  He is the unofficial prince of Alderaan, the son of a Senator and a General, the grandson of a General and a queen.  Coruscant raised amid a life of luxury.  She is pragmatic and wants to see things simply.  He is a romantic dreamer whose sly machinations are always complex.  She once lived among the Resistance and he commands the First Order.  She is staunchly in the Light and he long ago converted to Darkness.  But if he and Rey can find harmony, then surely there is hope for peace.   Kylo Ren does not know what the balance of the Force looks like.  But standing there, hand in hand with his powerful counterpart, he thinks he knows what it feels like.   

 

It feels like love.

 

He can’t tell her this now in front of everyone.  So instead, he turns now to bless Rey.  “May the Force be with you, Princess.”

 

She nods seriously, looking troubled now as she stares out at Coruscant.   Distracted, she reflexively answers him by rote. “And also with you.”


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are worried about violence/death, please read the warning in the notes below.

In the morning when Nestor and Rey join the group of militia prisoners, it is very awkward even before anyone starts talking.  Nestor pours them both a cup of caf as they settle around a conference table.  Rey can’t help but notice that everyone waits to watch them drink it before they drink theirs.  As if the First Order is about to poison them.  It doesn’t help matters that there are stormtroopers posted at each corner of the room and a heavily armed death trooper stands sentry behind Rey’s chair.

 

Through the Force, Rey feels rampant mistrust and fear permeate the room.

 

Nestor raises his eyebrows at her and mutters, “This is your show, Rey.” 

 

That’s her cue to begin.   Rey takes a deep breath and begins speaking in her crisp Upper Level accent that marks her as one of their own.  “My name is Renata Palpatine, but you can call me Rey.  This man here is Sir Nestor Flick, the Second Knight of Ren.  I met each of you yesterday at the camp.  I know your names, but not your stories.  Nestor and I would like to hear your stories.  We want to know how you lived before the war, what motivates you to fight, and how you came to be a prisoner.” 

 

Then, one by one, sometimes in halting and choked up words, in varying degrees of vitriol and length, the militia men and women unburden themselves.  The details of the stories vary, but the narratives are all similar and the punchline is always the same.  _I never liked the First Order but I sat on the sidelines initially during the invasion.  For a while, I passively watched as you destroyed my world.  But when you killed someone close to me who I cared deeply about, I decided to fight back.  I lost my spouse/my sibling/my parent/my best friend/my child/my business partner.   And that was the last straw_. 

 

There are other common refrains for why these people fight.  As Rey begins to hear the same complaints and rhetoric, she takes note.

 

_I refuse to be a slave to the First Order.  I won't let my children become stormtroopers who fight for Kylo Ren.  I want freedom for myself and for my family._

_I’m Core born and bred and I don’t want those fascist Rim moof milkers running things.  We’ll all be living in squalor then.  Working in junkyards and moisture farms and paying protection money to a Hutt.  I want a better life for myself and for my family._

_We don’t need another tyrannical Emperor, one was enough.  And who is this Leader Snoke guy anyway?  What’s so great about him?  If Kylo Ren is any indication, then I won’t like this Snoke.  I’m suspicious of any leader who isn’t elected._

_Look at what the First Order did to Hosnia.   It was Alderaan all over again.  All the First Order does is kill innocent people.   I’d rather die fighting for freedom than be vaporized at home in my sleep.   That’s what’s going to happen to us all in the end.  Don’t kid yourself._

 

_I believe in democracy.  I admired Leia Organa and Mon Mothma.  Maybe it wasn’t perfect, but the New Republic worked fine.  People didn’t give it a chance.  Thirty years is nothing compared to how long the Old Republic was around.  The New Republic was just getting started._

_I don’t care if I die because I don’t have anything left to lose.  My home is gone, my family is gone, my business is gone, and my world is in ruins.  Why the Hell shouldn’t I fight?  It gives me a reason to keep living.  We’re all going to die in the end anyway.  All you have to do is say the word, Princess, and these troopers will open fire, right?_

 

Some of the prisoners have strongly held, well informed political beliefs.  But most are motivated by a mixture of fear, grief and vengeance.   These are everyday people who feel powerless and bereft as their lives and their families have crumbled around them.  They don't want to be victims any longer.   They want to fight back, even if it means dying.

 

"Nothing will bring your loved one back," Rey says softly to a man who is wiping away tears as he speaks.  "And fighting only increases the death toll.  More loved ones die as a result." 

 

“I know,” comes his bitter response.  “But it makes me feel better to kill some of you.” 

 

“You don't know what it means to watch your world fall apart,” one man hotly accuses.  “You’re a Knight and she’s a Princess and you have never known hardship.”

 

"Coruscant is my homeworld too."   The Second Knight speaks quietly as he pulls his datapad from his pocket, pokes at it and then hands it over.  "This is what's left of my home."  He displays a picture of rubble.  “My wife and three kids used to live there.”

 

One of the more skeptical prisoners speaks up.  "Don't fall for it.  That picture could be anywhere." 

 

Nestor nods and then he starts rattling off his address.

 

"That's in the Upper Level,” the skeptical man asserts.  “But he doesn't sound Upper Level.  She’s the one who sounds Upper Level."

 

"He's making it up," someone else chimes in.

 

"I was born in the Core and raised in the Rim," Nestor reveals.  "I’m an Exile but I married an Upper Level girl and we lived in the Upper Level."  Nestor starts talking now about the details of his neighborhood, telling the name of his kid's school, the nearest landmarks, and the local transport stop.  These are far more specific details than he could bluff his way through.

 

"That's my neighborhood.  You lived near me.”  An old man with a cultured accent now speaks up.  He’s a retired professor from Coruscant University.  “My grandchildren went to that preschool."  The old man looks Nestor over thoughtfully.  "Who are you that you got kids into that school?  You have to be someone or know someone to get in that school.   They would never let a First Order family in there."

 

"My kids' grandfather was a New Republic senator," Nestor divulges without specifying which senator.

 

In the moment of quiet surprise that follows, Rey remarks dryly, “You would be surprised how many families have connections on both sides of this war."

 

"Where is your family now?" the old professor asks Nestor.

 

"In the Rim in a refugee camp."

 

"I bet that was a big comedown from the Upper Level," someone gibes. 

 

"It's true," Nestor admits.   “But everyone is suffering during this war.”

 

"At least your kids are alive," a woman snaps bitterly.

 

"That's true too," Nestor allows.  He looks around the table face by face.  "Coruscant is my home. I hate what has become of my home and my neighbors."  It is a genuine moment, but none are swayed by it.  And the discussions drag on.  Nestor and Rey listen for hours as the prisoners vent their anger and sadness. 

 

"What is the point of all this?"  Nestor complains to Rey during a break.  “It’s an endless, depressing sob-fest.  I don’t know whether I want to shoot myself or shoot them,” Nestor grumbles.  He runs a hand through his buzzcut hair.  It’s back to being blonde again.  “How is any of this helping, Rey?”  he complains.

 

"Let them vent.  It will build rapport.  And hopefully a leader will emerge from this group."  Rey doesn’t want to make the mistake of negotiating with the wrong people again.  Her goal is to convince these people to make peace, hoping that they will return to their world to advocate for others to make peace.   She’s betting that there is a silent majority on Coruscant who are tired of war and ready to surrender after a few meaningful concessions from the First Order.

 

“And what if a leader doesn’t emerge?” the knight challenges.

 

“I don’t know.” Rey is grasping for straws here.  “Look, I’m making this up as we go along, Nestor.  If you have a better idea, then speak up.  Because I’m all ears.”

 

"We're getting nowhere.   They hate us.   And, well, they have good reason to,” Nestor admits.  “I’d hate me too if I were them.”

 

"We're learning things," she points out.

 

"Yeah?  Like what?"

 

“Like they are committed to democracy, but overall they are not very political.  Promising these people a Senate and a written constitution with civil rights might go a long way.  And they have lost homes and businesses.  Rebuilding matters to them.  Nestor, they are proud of their world and its reputation.  They fear that when we rebuild their world will look like the normal prefab stuff the First Order is doing in the Mid Rim.”

 

“Who cares what the buildings look like?” Nestor complains.

 

“They do.  Being the best is part of the identity of this world.  They are envied and admired for it.  It gave them status.  They want to be the best again.  Kylo should publicly commit to making Coruscant his capital world.  They all probably figure it will be someplace in the Rim.”

 

“Okay . . . so aside from us killing all their friends and family, what’s the common theme?” Nestor thinks aloud.

 

“Freedom.”  She and Nestor speak the answer aloud in unison.  Freedom is why these teachers, librarians and speeder salesmen have taken up arms to fight and die.  Freedom is why they will resist Kylo Ren to the bitter end.  Because a once-free people yearn to be free again.  Freedom has value.   Rey had once longed for Jakku the way these people long for the Coruscant they once knew. 

 

By day three, a leader has emerged and it’s the retired Coruscant professor who lived in the Upper Level.  His name is Aleppo Berman and he is a measured voice of calm and compassion.  Plus, he tends to listen more than he talks.  Nestor and Rey decide to have dinner with Aleppo separate and apart from the others, hoping to have a candid off the record conversation to promote trust between the sides.  When Kylo hears about it, he wants to take part.  Rey argues against it, Nestor just shrugs, and, as usual, Kylo gets his way.  The trio of Rey, Nestor and the out-of-uniform Kylo Ren present themselves to Aleppo for dinner in a small, private conference room. 

 

Aleppo raises his eyebrows as he looks at Kylo.  The Sith is wearing a simple First Order officer uniform without rank or insignia, but his flowing dark locks reveal he is not regular military.  Rey makes the introductions.  “Professor Berman, this is uh . . . Ben Milo.”

 

Aleppo nods respectfully as Kylo snorts.

 

Rey ignores this.  “Ben is the assistant to the Supreme Leader,” she continues using the agreed cover story.  “It is an honor to have him join us tonight.  The Supreme Leader is very interested in our discussions.”  She turns now to Kylo.  “Ben, this is Aleppo Berman.  Aleppo is a retired history professor from Coruscant University.”

 

They all sit down and Kylo kicks things off.  “Tell us about your area of study, Professor.  I’m a history buff myself.” 

 

“My area of expertise is Old Republic political history.  I publish on the Clone Wars era mostly.”

 

Kylo brightens at this news.  Soon, he and Aleppo are having a lively exchange about the role of Chancellor Valorum in the Separatist Crisis.  This is one of those moments when Rey feels very keenly her lack of education.   She isn’t following any of the discussion since she only recalls Chancellor Valorum as the ironic name of Milo’s old dead cat.  But no one seems to notice because she and Nestor sit quietly as Kylo and Aleppo do most of the talking.  Kylo is doing his best to be charming, and that’s endearing for Rey.  He is being quite deferential to the older man and neither of them speaks of the war.   Finally, the topic arises and it’s Aleppo who raises it.

 

“I’m nearly eighty years old, Ben.  Not a young man like yourself.  I’m old enough to remember the Empire.”

 

“What do you remember about it?” Kylo takes his cue. 

 

“That in many ways it was a reaction to the failure of the Old Republic.  The Republic was too disorganized.  Its Senate was universally acknowledged to be corrupt and ruled by business factions.  Its court systems too were corrupt.  Plus, they were slow and clogged with cases.   The Jedi might have provided leadership, but they had become soldiers back then.  Off fighting the Clone Wars instead of letting the Separatists just break away as they wished.  In some quarters it is heresy to say this, but I’ll say it:  the Separatists had it right, Ben.  The Republic had rotted from within, so it took surprisingly little to topple it in the end.”  The old man takes a long drink of his wine and then observes, “People had soured on the concept of a galactic democratic republic long before the Empire was declared.  An Emperor ruling with a weak Senate was an improvement in many people’s eyes.”

 

Kylo does not disagree and Aleppo keeps talking in his grandfatherly way.  “My boy, you and your Leader should not forget that Sheev Palpatine was elected.  He was not a shadowy figure who came out of nowhere to take the galaxy by force.  Palpatine was a very well-known political figure who had been re-elected for decades prior to his ascension as Emperor.    There was no leap of faith required to accept his legitimacy.   His motives were believed and he himself was trusted.  Not so, my boy, with your Leader Snoke.”

 

“The Leader is reclusive by nature,” Kylo allows.

 

“Yes, and he shows us Kylo Ren in his absence,” Aleppo points out.  “And that young general fellow who’s dead now—what was his name?”

 

“General Hux,” Rey supplies the missing information.

 

“Ah, yes, General Hux.  I mean no disrespect, Ben, but for those of us in the Core, General Hux and Kylo Ren are violent extremists.  Not statesmen.  It would help if we saw what manner of man Leader Snoke truly is.  If we understood better his plans for the galaxy.  Without more comfort in Snoke, it is hard to trust that the First Order will govern justly from what we have seen from Hux and Ren.”

 

“I will convey that message back to the Leader,” Kylo promises without a trace of irony.

 

Aleppo looks satisfied.  He sits back and speaks frankly.  “You know, you guys were the ones we laughed at in the faculty lounge.”  The old man looks a bit rueful now.  “It's true, we did.  None in the Core took the First Order seriously.”

 

“We know,” Kylo responds with a tight smile.

 

Aleppo continues his candor.  “Mostly, it was because we didn't believe that any intelligent person could support your cause.  We figured you were just a lot of angry idiots clinging to your simple solutions and retro nostalgia.”  The old man sighs.  “We greatly underestimated the appeal of your cause and the dissatisfaction of the non-Core worlds.”

 

“The liberal elites have long been blind to attitudes and experiences that are not their own,” Kylo drawls out some frank talk of his own.   And Rim-dweller Rey knows this to be true.  The Core worlds think they know everything, but they don’t.  What works in Coruscant doesn’t necessarily work in Jakku.  But the Coruscantis don’t see it that way.  It can be hard to step out of your own experience to understand and respect another person’s perspective, especially when their values don’t line up with your own.  People are different and differences matter.  That’s a lesson Rey has learned from her two forays into peace negotiations.  

 

“Yes, well, many of my colleagues would have been happy for you to rule the Rim so we in the Core could stop paying for it,” Aleppo concedes.  “After Hosnia, there was serious thought that we should split the New Republic and be done with it.  That the New Republic shouldn't fall into the same trap the Old Republic had by insisting on unity.  Perhaps in hindsight that was our best chance for peace,” the old professor muses aloud.

 

“No,” Kylo disagrees.  “Leader Snoke and Kylo Ren would never have settled for anything less than the entire galaxy.  The First Order is a reform movement, not a confederacy of systems.”

 

Old Aleppo shrugs fatefully.  “Perhaps we are just on the wrong side of history then.” 

 

Kylo is about to respond when his datapad starts buzzing loudly.   Both the tone and the urgency get his attention.  Nestor's too.  Kylo pokes at it and reads a moment.  "Oh, excellent."   He flashes a grin.   "The Force is with us.  We have another guest joining us for dinner."   Kylo shoots Nestor a sly look as he slides his datapad over for the Second Knight to see.  "It’s a friend of yours." 

 

Nestor blinks at what he reads and then he too grins.  "Well done, Sayeed."  

 

Aleppo is as lost in this exchange as Rey is.  He looks to her and she shrugs her bewilderment.  “Who’s joining us?” she asks Kylo. 

 

But Kylo has already pulled a comlink out of his pocket and is ordering, "Bring him in."

 

Nestor's eyes widen.  "Are you sure?  Maybe tonight is not the best time."

 

Kylo chuckles gleefully.  "Oh, it's the perfect time.  He can join your peace talks.  Now, this can be a settlement for the Core as a whole.  Two birds with one stone, Nestor."

 

"I doubt that," Nestor frowns and now Rey has a bad feeling about whatever is up. 

 

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse," Kylo instructs, sitting back with a smug smirk on his face.  "It's time for some aggressive negotiations."  Then, Kylo turns back to Aleppo and starts asking the professor about what Coruscant wants to see from the Supreme Leader. 

 

Five minutes later, a squad of stormtroopers escorts a prisoner into the room.  The prisoner is bound hand and foot.  His is wearing bits and pieces of white First Order body armor that must have at one time been a disguise.

 

Kylo can’t contain his loud guffaw at the sight.  “Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” he smirks.  But he’s the only one laughing.

 

“Poe Dameron,” Aleppo breathes softly in surprise as he recognizes the famed young Resistance general.  Rey is on her feet now too and so is Nestor.  Kylo just sits back and smiles.

 

Poe talks first.  “Flick.”  He eyes Nestor and then her.  “Rey.”

 

“Dameron.”  Beside her the Second Knight crosses his arms and does his Knight of Ren power stance.  These two men do not like one another.  Even without their resentment screaming out in the Force, the body language is unmistakable.

 

Poe’s eyes dart past them to the dinner table with Kylo incognito and Aleppo in his prisoner’s uniform.   The enemy general raises an eyebrow.  “Am I interrupting something?”

 

“Not at all.”  Kylo gestures magnanimously to an open chair.  “We would be honored if you would join us.  You are our guest.”

 

“Poe, come sit down,” Rey hastens to add.  This dinner is getting stranger by the moment.  And now Rey is very worried where all this is heading. 

 

"You guys all know each other?"  Aleppo looks half amazed and half aghast as he looks from Nestor to Rey to Poe.  "You actually know one another??"

 

"Everyone except that guy," Poe gestures to the smirking Sith.  "And you.  Looks like you’re in the same boat as I am, friend."

 

"Huh?"  Rey turns to Nestor.  She’s confused by Aleppo's comment.  Because by now doesn't the entire galaxy know of the public press conference showdown between Nestor and Poe?   It was all the holonet could talk about for weeks.  Surely the professor knows that Nestor and Poe have met before.

 

"The local media blackout kept news of our Resistance negotiations from Coruscant," Nestor reminds her. 

 

"Oh, yes.  Of course."   And that prompts Rey to do the introductions.  "Poe, this is Professor Aleppo Berman.  He leads the militants from Coruscant we have in custody.  And this is Ben Milo.  Ben is the representative of the Supreme Leader." 

 

"We had a deal with the general here for a ceasefire until you locals blew it up," Nestor informs Aleppo.  "Rey will show you the holonet tape sometime."   Then the Second Knight looks Poe over with undisguised hostility. 

 

Poe doesn't answer.  He's too busy staring at Kylo and that’s making Rey increasingly nervous.  "He's not Leader Snoke's rep.  The Leader’s rep is an old man.  I remember that he was always with Rey."

 

"The Leader has more than one assistant," Nestor growls.   Kylo just smirks some more. He looks like the proverbial cat who ate the canary, Rey thinks.  It's obnoxious.  And it's very Kylo.  "One guy can't do it all," Nestor improvises.  And now he gets to the point.  "Well . . . are you ready to resume peace talks, General, or should we send you back to a cell?  Because if you’re willing to talk, so are we."

 

Now it’s Poe’s turn to smirk.  “I thought I was here for dinner.”  He nods over at Aleppo now. "Don't give in to these guys," Poe encourages him.  "As long as you keep fighting, you are winning.  Don't let these thugs scare you.  Give'em all you got, old man."

 

Nestor scowls and his voice has an edge to it now.  "General, you try our patience.  And we are not patient men."

 

"Indeed," Kylo chimes in sounding so Snoke-like that Rey's head whirls as she gets a strong sense of de ja vu.  "I will give you a choice.  We are all reasonable men here.  General, you can negotiate in good faith for a peace deal, or Nestor here will execute you.  You have one hour to decide."

 

"Ben . . . "  Rey glares at Kylo in outrage.

 

"Okay," Kylo grumbles and sighs.  "Two hours.  But only because our fair princess demands it."

 

That comment focuses Poe’s attention on her.  It’s uncomfortable to see how his lip curls in disdain.  “Why are you still mixed up with these assholes, Rey?  You’re better than this.”

 

“I want peace,” Rey answers truthfully.  “Poe, let’s try again to make peace—“  

 

“No,” he interrupts.  “Rey, you say you want peace and I believe you.  But you don't want justice.  You want the rest of us to give in to Kylo Ren like you have.   It’s peace at any price for you, right?”  Poe shakes his head at her and his tone drips with contempt.  “You have no real convictions and no real loyalties, do you, Princess?  You were Master Luke's only hope.   But then you turned your back on him like you turned your back on us.” 

 

Rey isn’t keen on this lecture, but she keeps her cool.  “Poe, be reasonable.  This war is pointless.  It's not worth dying over.”

 

“Why?   Because we can't win?”

 

“Yes!  Your death won't matter, Poe.  It will be just one more to add to the tally.  Make peace, stay alive, and be a part of the future.  Don't waste your life.”  Rey shoots Aleppo a hard look now.  “You too, Professor.  Don’t waste your life.”

 

The Resistance general is unimpressed.  “In other words, be you, right?  Well, I'd rather be dead than be complicit like you, Rey.   The Resistance supply pilot turned princess who shills for the First Order every chance she gets.  You betrayed us!”

 

“No—“

 

“You did, Rey.  Don’t deny it!  You are a collaborator now.” 

 

“Dameron—“  It’s Nestor’s voice rumbling a warning that is ignored.

 

“Princess, you were with the Resistance??” Aleppo’s jaw drops.  The professor looks incredulous as his eyes dart from Rey to Poe.

 

“Yes,” they confirm in unison.  Then Poe adds, “Kylo Ren’s little sister used to fight with the Resistance.  It’s a well-kept secret.   Rey has been on both sides of this war—“

 

“And that’s why I know it’s time for peace!” Rey finishes for him.

 

“I’m not selling out my friends, Rey.  Unlike you, I am loyal!” Poe declares.  And that righteousness rubs her the wrong way.  “I don’t need another hour to decide,” Poe informs Kylo.  “I don’t want Rey begging for another hour for me.  The answer is the same either way—I won’t surrender the Resistance to the First Order.  I’ve seen what you are doing down on Coruscant.  We will die rather than surrender to Leader Snoke’s tyranny.  Tell Kylo Ren he’ll have to conquer us.”

 

“He will do that, Poe.  You know he will,” Rey warns softly. 

 

“I am not afraid to die,” the Resistance general proclaims proudly.  And maybe that makes him a hero to some, but to Rey it makes him a fool.  She whirls now to stalk away, raising a trembling hand to smooth her hair.  She doesn’t want Poe to die.  She doesn’t want anyone to die.  Rey is horrified by this turn of events.  This dinner is getting worse all the time.

 

“Take him away,” orders Nestor to the waiting stormtroopers who have just heard an earful.  “I’ll deal with him myself after dinner.”

 

“Wait!” Rey whirls.  “Poe, are you sure?  Let’s just sit and talk a bit.  We came so close to a ceasefire last time.  Surely, we can--”

 

“That was before all the reprisals on civilians, Rey.”

 

“I can’t s-save you, Poe,” Rey stammers out.  She is miserable about the sudden turn this evening has taken.  “Poe, listen to me!  Kylo won’t spare you if you won’t meet him halfway.”

 

“I’m not looking for mercy from Kylo Ren,” Dameron declares.  “He’s a sadistic monster.”

 

“No, he’s not,” she protests.  “You don't understand Kylo.” 

 

“There's nothing to understand!  He's a violent extremist on his way to being the chief henchman for a tyrant.  Everyone else can see him for what he is.   Why can't you?”  Poe squints at her now as he dares to ask, “Rey, are the rumors true?   Are you more than just his sister?”

 

“Dameron,” Nestor growls out another warning.

 

“What are you saying?” Rey demands hotly.

 

“Oh, I think you know exactly what I’m saying.”  Poe looks grim.  “Rey, if you are under Kylo Ren’s spell then you are the one wasting your life.  Not me.”

 

Kylo apparently has heard enough.  He stands to his feet and crosses to the Resistance general.  He reaches into his uniform to produce his saber hilt.  And lights it.

 

“Oh.”  It’s the collective gasp of recognition from Aleppo, Poe and the troopers.  Because only one man in the galaxy wields that distinctive sword.  The ruse is up now.

 

Kylo’s voice is hard.  “Careful, General.  Because sometimes when you speak of the devil, he appears.”

 

“Kylo—don’t—please—don’t—“ Rey rushes out her words as she tries unsuccessfully to insert herself between Kylo and the prisoner.

 

“This guy has had more chances than he deserves.  You were Leia Organa’s favorite, weren’t you?” Kylo sneers to Poe.

 

“You’re not fit to speak her name!” the Resistance general retorts.  “General Organa did more for this galaxy than you ever could!”

 

“Yes, you were her favorite,” Kylo decides grimly.  “She’d love a martyr like you.  And that’s just one more reason you need to die.”  With that, Kylo thrusts his sword through the dashing Resistance general.  Then he pulls it out and the mortally injured man falls first to his knees and then to the floor.

 

“No!” Rey cries.  “Poe!   Oh, Poe!”  She is on her knees beside him now, pulling his head into her lap.  “Stay with me, Poe . . . ”  But he can’t.  Even to Rey’s untrained eyes, the wound is fatal.

 

“See h-him for w-what h-he is . . . “ Her onetime friend gasps out faintly before he breathes no more.    

 

_Good.  Now get angry with me.  It will give you credibility in your negotiations with this Aleppo guy._

 

"Kylo--"  Rey warns as she struggles to her feet.  She’s ignoring his voice in her head now.  She doesn’t want to be used to manipulate Aleppo like she had been used at the camp.  Little by little, Rey has come to realize how manipulative Kylo truly is.  And watching Kylo mislead others stokes the nagging fear that he too might be misleading her.      

 

_Go ahead.  Tell me off_.

 

"Kylo, that was cruel!" she rages and it’s no act.

 

He shrugs.  "He was the enemy general mouthing off nasty innuendo to my sister.  He had it coming. And Nestor here hated that guy.”

 

"But he might have been an ally," she wails.  “He almost made peace with us once!  Poe could have been an ally.”

 

"He didn't sound like an ally," Kylo points out. 

 

"Put that sword away!" she commands hotly.  “Turn it off, Kylo!”

 

He graciously complies.  "As you wish, Princess."  Then Kylo sits back down.  He motions to the troopers to remove the body and calls her and Nestor back to the table.  “Pour more wine for us, Rey.  Like you used to pour it for our Master’s table.”  Rey frowns but complies, pouring the wine with the Force.  Poor old Aleppo looks stupefied now.  He, like the rest of the general public, does not know that Rey has the Force.

 

Kylo enjoys his reaction, leaning in to confide to the old professor.  “The Force is strong in my family.  I have it, my grandfather had it, and my sister has it.”   Kylo raises his glass now as if nothing untoward had occurred.  As if the man he had just skewered with his saber was not being dragging from the room to leave a long red smear of blood.  “To peace and order,” Kylo toasts.  Of course, she and Nestor join in.  Aleppo hesitates but dutifully follows suit.  The Sith turns back to his prisoner guest of honor now.  “Where were we?  Was it the Empire?   Tell me more of what you recall about the Empire, Professor.  I do so admire the Empire.”

 

And thus resumes the most miserable dinner of Rey’s life. 

 

An hour later when they are alone back in his quarters, Kylo reaches for her.  But Rey shrugs him off and turns away.  “Leave me alone.”  She’s feeling pretty hostile after what happened with Poe.

 

Kylo takes her rejection gracefully.  He must be expecting it.  “Rey, once the war is over, things will be different.   I promise that it will get better.” 

 

“Yeah?  I'm not so sure.”  When the war is over, Rey worries that things will only get worse.  That life with Kylo will drag her deeper into a political role she doesn’t want all to support a regime she doesn’t believe in.   For can she love Kylo and hate what he does?  And is it what he does or what he is?  Poe’s words of warning still ring in her head.  They had struck a nerve.

 

Kylo keeps placating her.  Using the condescending confidence an adult might use with a small child.  “Things will be different.   You’ll see.”

 

Rey looks up and frowns.  “Will you be different, Kylo?”

 

He stares at her a long moment.

 

When he doesn’t answer her, Rey looks away to mutter, “I think maybe we should stop talking about the war.  Maybe it was a mistake for me to lead these peace talks.    Because I don't like this side of you.  At all.” 

 

He looks lost in her words.  “What side of me?”

 

Is he playing dumb or just completely lacking in self-awareness?  “The violent murdering side!” Rey spits out.  She’s upset and annoyed.

 

“You know who I am.”  Kylo’s tone is something akin to a threat mixed with ‘I told you so.”  That annoys her further.

 

“Yes, I know who you are.  And I don't like it!” Rey complains.  “It scares me.” 

 

“Rey, I am Sith.  None of this is a surprise.  And there is nothing to fear.”  Kylo steps forward to take her in his arms, pulling her close.  “I will never hurt you.  Never again, Rey.  You are precious to me.”  He means it.  She can feel the sincerity of his words in the Force.   And that’s even more confusing, for how can a man so harsh with others be so gentle and caring with her?

 

“It’s been a long day,” he comforts her, stroking her hair.  “You’re tired.  Come to bed, Princess.”

 

“Kylo—I need a break.”  More and more, Rey fears that she has made a terrible mistake by coming to live with Kylo.   Because the Kylo here among his troops and his war is not a Kylo she likes.  She’s Rey of Jakku and she’s seen a lot of harsh things in her short life.  She’s no moralist prude to write off a man who gets his hands dirty now and then.  But Kylo is something different altogether.  His hands are dripping in the blood.   Rey understands the principles behind his violence, even if she doesn’t agree with them.  But no matter how good his intentions, Kylo Ren's methods are too harsh, too indiscriminate.   And, yes, she knows that Army Hux probably wasn’t that much different.  But still . . .   This bothers her. 

 

“No more talk of war, then,” he soothes.    

 

“I need a break from war,” Rey says, her voice muffled into his chest.  “And from the First Order.”  She is suffocating here surrounded by Kylo’s war machine.    Yeah, she herself has been known to shoot first, but these people shoot first and then keep shooting.   Because unlike Rey, they like shooting.  “Kylo, I need a break,” she repeats now.  Stronger this time.   More insistent.

 

“Okay,” he agrees.  “Let's take a field trip.  A day away with just me and you.  There's something special I have been wanting to show you.”

 

“To show me?” Rey asks.  She’s intrigued.  “Where?”

 

“On Naboo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An ancillary character dies in this chapter. Don't piss off a Sith.


	64. Chapter 64

The next morning, Kylo whisks her away in his command shuttle.  It’s just the two of them, like at home in their quarters.  Rey is surprised, for Kylo rarely goes anywhere these days without his staff and at least one squad of troopers.  The staff is so he can multitask the whole day long.  The troopers are mostly for show, Rey thinks.  So today strikes her as very private and thus very special.  Their destination Naboo is a Mid Rim world, so it is safely in First Order hands.  They don’t even have a TIE escort for this flight.

 

“I have been looking forward to showing you this for a long time,” Kylo tells her with boyish eagerness as the shuttle begins its landing cycle.  

 

“Where are we?” Rey marvels openly at the lovely Naboo countryside that looks nothing like Jakku.  Just look at all those wildflowers.  “This is beautiful.”

 

“This is the lake country.  The old Palpatine family estate, to be specific.  Snoke bought it years ago when it was auctioned.  It’s mine now.  But I suppose really it should belong to you, Rey.”

 

“I have an estate?” she blinks in surprise.

 

“It’s not the estate that’s important,” Kylo confides.  “It’s what’s on the estate.  This land is home to an old Sith temple.  There are very few temples remaining and this one is the most important.”

 

They disembark and Kylo leads her through a semi-wooded area to an old stone doorway.  The entrance looks ancient judging by the weather darkened stone.  Kylo easily opens the door with the Force and together they step inside.  Behind the doorway is an antechamber and behind that is a stone stairway leading down into the temple proper.  Their way is dimly lit with recessed red lighting.  It takes a moment for Rey’s eyes to adjust to the pervasive gloom.

 

In the shadows everywhere, Rey sees unfamiliar symbols that remind her of the old texts Snoke had loved to pour over in his library.  The writing covers all visible walls and other surfaces.  Rey wonders what it all means.  But Kylo ignores it and leads her forward.  Stopping only once to point out a newly chiseled name written in Kittat.  “Darth Plagueis the Wise,” Kylo says reverently as he runs a hand over the lettering.  “Our Master’s name is listed here among the greatest of the Sith.  With the heroes Bane, Nihilus, Vitiate and Kune.”  Kylo says this with a mix of pride and sadness that makes her heart go out to him.  For she knows he grieves still.   “May the Force be with him,” Kylo mutters and then they resume walking. 

 

The path now becomes a twisted maze of corridors but Kylo is very comfortable with the temple layout.  Clearly, he’s been here many times before.  Finally, they duck through a doorway and stop on the threshold of a small room.  “Here we are,” he says softly.

 

“Oh,” is all Rey can say. 

 

The room is completely dark except for a bacta tank that lays horizontal in the center of the room.  The tank is lit from within with an eerie pale blue light.  Inside, a very big, very tall Muun woman lays in state entombed in the clear bacta.  As Rey steps closer, she sees that the woman’s hands rest on her torso.  Her right hand holds a lightsaber.  Her left hand holds a distinctive pyramid-shaped red holochron of the Sith. 

 

"This is Shan Damask, the last Lady Plagueis," Kylo intones at her side.

 

“I know who she is,” Rey whispers as she steps forward to stand and stare a moment.  “Milo used to talk about her now and then.”  This woman is the Old Republic Jedi researcher who had been the fifth wife to the greatest Sith lord ever known.  The woman expelled from the Jedi Order and stripped of her connection to the Force.  She was ten years the wife of Darth Plagueis before his then Apprentice, her great-grandfather Darth Sidious, had murdered her in her sleep the night he attacked Snoke.  Lady Plagueis might have been Empress of the galaxy were it not for that fateful night’s work.

 

Snoke's late wife wears a long silvery lace gown that sparkles as the fabric wafts and flutters slightly in the liquid. It is a soft, lifelike movement against the backdrop of her perfectly still body.  Her face is partially obscured by a gauzy veil wrapped around her head. Her arms and hands are similarly draped.  Upon a closer look, Rey sees that the veil fabric blunts the visual evidence of her traumatic death.  For there are suture marks crisscrossing her arms and hands to fuse back together limbs once chopped in multiple places.   Lady Plagueis must have raised her arms to ward off her attacker, she realizes.  But it had been in vain.   The Muun woman’s face too bears evidence of her struggle, for there is a diagonal sear wound across her cheek that clearly came from a lightsaber. 

 

"Why did he keep her like this?"  Rey is appalled by this macabre scene.  For decades, she realizes, this woman’s body has been kept in stasis.   Lady Plagueis is a ghostly Ophelia suspended in death and in time.  Tucked away in an obscure Sith temple. 

 

"Snoke was always hoping to revive her.  He tried several times when he was in exile in the Unknown Regions.  But to no avail."

 

“Why?” Rey wonders aloud.  “He revived Milo and he kept Vanee alive.  Why not his wife too?”

 

“To resurrect a Force-user requires the sacrifice of another Force-user.  Power regained from the Force must roughly balance the power sacrificed.  Force-users have been in short supply for decades now.  And none of the Jedi padawans Snoke took in after the Emperor’s Purge had sufficient Force to permit her resurrection.  Though he tried several times using different methods.” 

 

“And still he kept her.”

 

“Yes.  Rey, even a Sith can hope.    We hope far more than anyone realizes.” 

 

The way Kylo says this tells her he is speaking more about himself than about Snoke.  And he’s right.  These Sith dreamers scheme with ruthless logic.  But at the core of all of their plots lies hope.   Few would believe it, but Rey knows the private man Kylo Ren to be an optimist at core.   You’d have to be in order to set out to conquer the galaxy.

 

“Rey, you were the obvious sacrifice to revive her.  But Snoke declined to do so.  Because he liked you.  And because he wanted us to be together.”  Kylo looks away now as he explains in a choked voice, “He loved me enough to sacrifice his happiness for mine.  Just like he loved me enough to sacrifice his life for mine.”   Kylo looks like he wants to say more, but he doesn’t.  His voice just trails off. 

 

“May the Force be with him,” Rey blesses the memory of the old Muun.  She doesn’t know what else to say.  It’s hard to see a man as powerful as Kylo Ren be so nakedly vulnerable.  So human.  Rey reaches a comforting arm around him.   If only the rest of the galaxy could see what she sees now, Rey thinks.  If only they knew that there is a man behind the fearsome black and silver mask.

 

Kylo nods and recovers.  When he speaks again his voice is reverent but composed.  “Darth Plagueis was a Sith Master with the power of a god.  He could create life in the Force, sustain life in the Force, and resurrect life in the Force.   Because through the Force, with the Force and in the Force, all things are possible.”  Rey nods, for she remembers this teaching.  “All the secrets to creating, sustaining, and renewing life are in that holochron, Rey.  Snoke’s dead wife holds the secret to the power he hoped to use to bring her back.” 

 

“Oh.”  And now Rey marvels at the blasphemy it is to keep this Jedi woman in a Sith temple holding the greatest secret of the Dark Side.   And how ironic is it that a dead woman guards the knowledge of immortality in the Force? 

 

She turns warily now to Kylo.  “Have you opened the holochron?  Do you know the secret?”

 

He nods.  “I do.  I have learned how to keep people from dying.”  He reaches now to take both of her hands as they stand facing one another.  “Rey, I will give you life and love everlasting.  Once we are married, we will be together forever in the Force.”  He reaches to cup her cheek, staring deeply into her eyes as he promises, “Our lives and our love will be immortal.”

 

Rey swallows hard.  “You mean, we will be like Milo and Vanee?  And like Snoke was?”

 

“Yes.  We can be killed, but we will not grow old and die.”  He smiles down at her.  “We will be forever young and in love.  The Force will be with us.”

 

Rey thinks a moment, her brow furrowing as she glances over at the doomed fifth Lady Plagueis.  “But death is the way of things,” she protests softly, quoting Master’s Luke’s teaching.  Rey herself is a survivor and so she especially doesn't want to die.  But that's not the same as wanting to live forever.  Living forever suddenly seems so . . . unnatural.   And so permanent.   “Death is the way of the Force,” she repeats the old Jedi maxim.

 

“Not for us.”  Kylo’s eyes are flashing bright and dark in the dim light.  So earnest is he.  “We have had enough suffering and loss.  We have earned this.  This is our chance to begin to make things right.  My Empire will right the wrongs that my family and the New Republic have done to the galaxy.   And our love will heal all the damage done personally to us.  Rey, you said that everyone you care for dies.  Well, not anymore.  I can take that hurt away.”  Again, Kylo smiles at her.  “If you will let me, I will take all of your hurts away.”

 

“Immortality . . . “ Rey breathes out the word as she considers.  Well, maybe it's not so bad.  After all, Milo and Vanee don't seem unhappy with living at their advanced ages.  But she’ll have to think about this some more.  A lot more.  “This is . . . a lot, Kylo,” she stammers awkwardly.

 

“I know.  I rush things.  But the war will be over soon.  I hope.  And then the time will be right.  We will marry and be happy forever.  And together, we will rule the galaxy forever.  Dark and Light aligned for balance.  Just like Snoke envisioned.”

 

“This is a lot,” Rey repeats herself mostly because she doesn’t know what else to say.  Listening to Kylo now, he sounds like the epitome of a Sith.  His impetus might be love but in the end the aim is power.  Unlimited, never-ending power.  Because with the Sith, it’s always about power. 

 

“Just think about it,” he urges gently.

 

“Does it have to be both?” Rey wonders aloud.   “Both marriage and immortality?”

 

“I want it to be both,” Kylo says softly.  “I don't want to lose you again, Rey.  I never want to lose you.  We are so good together.  Don't tell me that you're unhappy,” he says huskily.   “I'll know it for a lie.”  He flashes that slightly crooked smile she loves.  Then, he declares, "Rey, I love you.  I truly, deeply, love you."

 

Oh.  She looks up into his intense expression and Rey's breath catches in her throat.  For a moment she is at a loss for both words and rational thought.  Because these words mean everything.  Beyond promises of marriage and forever, this is the ultimate commitment.  Kylo talks about love all the time but he has never said it outright.

 

He loves her.

 

Kylo must see her hesitation because as she stands there gaping and sucking in air, he raises gentle fingers to her lips.  Forestalling the words that refuse to come in response.  "It's okay, Rey."  He looks so understanding now that her heart is moved.  For a second as she stares into his dark eyes, Rey wants to cry.   She’s not sure why.  "I know," he tells her.  "Rey, I know."

 

Rey nods but she doesn’t know what she’s agreeing to.  Because she’s still processing it all.  He loves her.  Truly loves her.  Those three words ought to be a magical moment like on the holonet videos when couples fall into each other's arms and everything fades to black.  But instead it is awkward.   Scary even.  For in this context, Kylo’s declaration feels as much like a curse as it does a blessing.

 

What does it mean to be loved forever by a Sith?   It means having your creepy posthumous wedding portrait hang over your husband's bed in his castle.  It means being entombed in a bacta tank for nearly a century on the off-chance you can be resurrected.  Because these men are obsessive and possessive and they simply don't let go.  The same passion that fuels their violence and ambition also fuels their love.  And their sense of entitlement cannot be underestimated.  That’s why if you marry them, naturally it is forever.  Even beyond death in the case of the unlucky Lady Plagueis.  For decades after her murder, she had remained under the control of her Sith.   Once you fall under the spell of these men, there is no escaping.  Not unless they permit it, Rey realizes.   She counts herself among the lucky ones now, since Kylo has agreed that if things don’t work out she can go free. 

 

Is this what the dead Muun woman would have wanted?  Rey glances over again at the shadowy, veiled bride who is hidden here in a secret temple.  Who was this woman who so captivated Darth Plagueis?   And would Darth Vader too have resurrected his wife if given the chance?  These men cherish their women, Rey sees now.   But it comes with a high price.  For she has yet to hear a tale of a woman connected to a Sith that ended well.  Tragedy seems to be the hallmark of these relationships. 

 

Rey looks now at her strikingly handsome Kylo.  He drives her wild with pleasure and promises her the galaxy.  He has riches untold that mean she will never want for anything ever.  He's offering her power, fame, status, and security.  All this and his heart too.  Forever.  She ought to be overcome with joy.  But all she feels now is pressure.  Lots of pressure.

 

For once, Kylo doesn’t push.  Instead, he kisses her chastely on the forehead before grabbing her hand and tugging her forward.  "Come.  I have something else to show you."

 

She follows Kylo now through another series of winding corridors.  Then, together they step into a large chamber.   This room is empty except for a large, white stone table.  Above the table is a high vaulted ceiling crowned with an oculus opening to the outside.  Night has fallen on Naboo by now.   Starlight and light from the planet’s single moon stream in to blanket the stone table, making it almost appear to glow.   Otherwise, the chamber is unlit.  Its corners shrouded in still darkness.  

 

 It is stark in its simplicity, Rey thinks.  And eerily beautiful.

 

"This is the ritual chamber," Kylo announces in hushed tones as he leads her to stand before the table.  "Here at the altar an Apprentice might pledge his loyalty, a curse would be spoken, a marriage vow given, an enemy sacrificed, a treaty agreed.   This is a place of beginnings and ends.   Where the Dark Side of the Force combines with power or passion or blood.  Sometimes, with all three.”

 

Rey blinks.  “Okay . . . “

 

“For ages, different Sith have come to this place.   Rey, the things done here matter.  And they cannot be undone.  For a Sith, this place means forever."

 

“Forever . . . “ she echoes.  Kylo keeps talking about forever.  And forever scares her. 

 

“Yes, forever.  The Sith marry until death do they part.  There is no divorce.   So whatever happens, we will work it out.   Because we are committed to each other.”   This is Kylo the romantic dreamer talking mixed with Kylo the most determined man in the universe.  It’s weird.  Sort of grimly hopeful.  And maybe it’s because Rey is so freaked out and feeling put on the spot, but when Kylo says forever it is starting to feel like a threat.

 

“Here, in this room is where we will marry.   This is where Light mates with Dark in secret in the moonlight.   Then, I will be your Sith and you will be my lady.  I will give you life everlasting and love everlasting.” 

 

“Kylo, I told you I'm not ready to get married . . .”  Rey tries to slow him down. 

 

But in this, as in all his plots, Darth Ren is single-minded.  “Rey, I promise to make you happy.  Our marriage will be a new beginning.  For the galaxy, for the Force, and for us. Together, we will rule it all happily ever after.  Forever.”  

 

Forever.  He keeps talking forever.  And he keeps talking about the Force and the galaxy, like they are some sort of political union instead of just two people getting married.  “Can’t we keep things the way they are now?“  Rey complains.  “Or if we have to get married, maybe we could just have a regular wedding?  You know—like a starter marriage to try it out for now?  Sort of like a trial period before we do it forever?”

 

“I want forever,” Kylo presses.  It’s because he’s a selfish Sith and he always wants more.  There will never be enough for Kylo, Rey knows.  That’s what fuels his ambition and his relentless drive.   “Snoke wanted this for us,” he reminds her.  “Rey, his last words spoke of the holochron and of you.  He told me to find you and to find balance.”

 

Balance.  More and more lately, Kylo is talking about balance.  The dream of the iconoclast Force scholar Darth Plagueis the Wise has become the dream of his warrior Apprentice too.  Balance is the ultimate achievement in the Force and the only secret left undiscovered by both the Jedi and the Sith.  Other Sith have ruled the galaxy.  His Master first learned the powers of a God.  But no one yet has achieved the elusive balance.  And if Kylo finds it, his name too will be on this temple’s wall.  Maybe with hers alongside it.

 

Kylo looks so committed and sincere.  This means so much to him, Rey understands.  And he means well.   Truly, Kylo does.  In some ways, Kylo is far more idealistic than she could ever be.   This Sith completely believes himself to be the hero even if many in the galaxy view him as the ultimate villain.   He's convinced that he is right in this as in all things.  He'd have to be, Rey realizes, in order to do what he does.   

 

She turns to him now with a pragmatic question. "How are you planning to explain to everyone that you married your sister?  All of Coruscant and the First Order think I'm your sister."

 

"I don't have to explain anything to anyone," Kylo boasts. 

 

"Even you has to explain incest," Rey shoots him a look.  "Don't kid yourself.  Your PR types are going to have a hissy fit when you spring this on them."  Well, maybe not.  Those people explain away death camps with a cheery smile and they refer to Starkiller Base as a research facility full of martyred scientists.  To them, Kylo Ren is liberating the Core and the persistent rumors of Leader Snoke’s death are ‘fake news.’

 

"Nestor got us into this position when he came up with that sibling cover story," Kylo grouses, looking annoyed.  "He’s smart enough that he should have come up with something better."

 

"You played along very willingly," Rey points out.  And he had killed Poe Dameron over it too, she remembers.

 

Kylo shrugs.  "It was to my advantage at the time."  This shameless Sith always takes advantage.  Give him an inch and he'll take a lightyear.   "Look, there is no blood relation.  We will tell the galaxy of your Palpatine connection and how the old Emperor was a great friend to Leader Snoke.   It was only natural for him to adopt his friend's orphan granddaughter in need."

 

"Great-granddaughter," she corrects him. 

 

"The point is that you are a Palpatine and we are not related.  But Rey, it couldn't be more perfect than if it were arranged.  The man who declares the new Second Empire will marry the heiress to the original Empire.  It’s like poetry.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“It rhymes.”

 

What?  "It's still going to creep people out."

 

"It's not like we were raised as brother and sister,” he reasons.  Clearly, Kylo has thought through this point before because this Sith thinks through everything in his plots.  “We'll come up with a good backstory for you.  Maybe even include Jakku.  Lies are always more believable when they are partly truth."

 

Rey slants him a look.  "Are you going to tell the galaxy that you're a Skywalker?"

 

He frowns.  "There's no need to get that truthful."  He considers her a moment before asking hopefully, “So, is it time for me to get down on one knee?”

 

“Do you rule the whole galaxy yet?” she asks.  “Because don’t bother asking if you don’t rule it all, Kylo.”

 

“You don’t care if I rule the galaxy.  You’re just stalling,” he accuses.

 

“Yes.” 

 

Kylo must see through her flippant words to the sincere misgivings that lie beneath.  He backs down.  “Just get used to the idea, Rey.  The war is ending and the time for our marriage is coming.   I want you to be ready for it.  It’s a big step, I know.”

 

Big step?  That’s the understatement of the year, Rey thinks.  “It’s f-forever,” she corrects him. 

 

“Yes,” he replies happily.  “It’s forever.”

 

* * *

 

 

Rey does the piloting on the way home.  But after the jump, she is quiet the whole trip back to the _Finalizer_.  Thinking.  Kylo can practically hear her brain churning in the Force, but he doesn’t trespass in her thoughts.   He knows better than to try and force Rey’s confidences like that.  When she’s ready to talk, she will.  It will probably be pillow talk some night soon.   After sex is always when Rey opens up.  Either that, or it will be in an argument.  That’s how they work, he knows.  It’s hot or cold.  Usually a little bit of both.  Yes, Kylo thinks, slumping back in his chair.  His Rey will never bore him.    

 

He is sitting alone in the back of the shuttle with one eye on his datapad and the other eye on reruns of last year's podracing championships.   Neither activity is really holding his attention, but he wants to give Rey her space.   And maybe it’s all her hard thinking rubbing off on him, but he too is reflective.

 

He is pleased that he finally had the chance to tell Rey that he loves her.  And the setting had been perfect—they had been alone together in his temple as they spoke of the future.  Of marriage and immortality.  Of their forever bond.  Rey had seemed a bit intimidated and awed by his power.   He won't lie, that had made him feel every inch a Sith Master. 

 

He had expected her to be skittish, and she was.  Another woman might be leaping at the chance to be his Empress, but Rey is no grasping social climber.  She’s not with him for his position and she doesn’t care about credits.   She’s with him purely for himself.  Rey had known him and liked him long before she knew he was Kylo Ren.  And that’s important.  Now that he is surrounded by toadies and suck-ups, he values Rey’s genuineness more and more.  There are very few people who are completely straight with him these days.

 

Rey will come around on his proposal, he knows.  This is how they do things.  He is a Sith Master and his job is to control.  To manipulate and to maneuver.  He likes to possess and to own.   But she is a feral desert scavenger who for years owned nothing but herself.  Freedom is her lifeblood and why she returns to the desert to renew.  And that is the push-pull of them.  He wants a forever commitment and she wants no strings. 

 

She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no.  And he knows that Rey wants him to keep asking.  Because even though she won’t admit it, his scorned, isolated scavenger needs to be wanted and chased.   And he needs her to resist and stand up to him because it makes her eventual surrender all the more satisfying.  In this, as in so many things, they are in opposition.  Sometimes that means they complement one another and sometimes that means conflict.   And it is yet another subtle way in which they balance. 

 

Balance is a rough justice, as his Master had taught.  Sometimes perhaps Kylo will take more than his fair share from Rey.  But no doubt she will assert herself stronger in return.  A random snapshot of their current lives would not show them to be equal, but over the long-term things will even out.  Rey will be a marvelous Empress, he knows. 

 

All along he has suspected that if he and Rey could just spend real time together, then their love would blossom.  But the Resistance and then Snoke and Hux and the war had kept them apart.  But that’s all in the past now.  Kylo is confident that this will work out in the end.  It has to because Rey is key to it all.  Old Snoke had seen this from the beginning, but Kylo sees it too now.  Putting aside whatever this elusive balance is, Rey is the key to his happiness and his future.  She will be the Force-strong wife who tempers his worst impulses and speaks truth to his power.  She will be the Light he so craves.  And one day, she will give him the powerful Sith son to continue his family legacy as his Apprentice.   

 

Already, just having Rey near is lightening his heavy load.  Because where there is Light, there is hope.  Even the most frustrating unsolved aspects of his war seem easier with Rey around.   And the harder, more distasteful tasks seem less burdensome too.  For the promise of his future with Rey helps to put things into perspective.  Kylo reminds himself as he approves executions and battleplans that he’s doing it partly for her.  For the peace she so fervently wants.       

 

Despite the ugly scene with Dameron at dinner last night, Kylo is optimistic.  Convinced that he and Rey will transcend the bitter conflicts that have torn both his family and the galaxy apart for generations.  Certain that they can leave behind the competing Jedi and Sith ideologies once deemed reconcilable only in death.  In this new future, Rey will be the Light of the world and he will be the Dark resolve that does what needs to be done.  They will complement one another rather than clash.  And together, hopefully, they will achieve the elusive riddle of balance long foretold. 

 

The next time he comes to Naboo will be for their wedding, Kylo realizes.  Rey will wear a beautiful dress, completely sheer like is the old custom.  There will be no wholesome demure lace like his grandmother wore.  Sith brides of old approached the altar with their naked body boldly displayed as a promise of what is to come.  Alone in the moonlight, he and Rey will exchange promises of love, power and fidelity.  Then they will slash their left palms to make the lifelong scar that will represent their bond.  Mated for life in the Force by age-old tradition, he and Rey will consummate their union right then and there. 

 

Sex, violence and the Force.  It's all very Sith, he thinks.

 

Unlike in days of old, he and Rey have already anticipated their vows.  Rey might not be surrendering up her virginity in the moonlight, but she had surrendered it to him all the same.   Besides, they are a modern couple and Rey won’t be the first Dark bride to marry unchaste.   For if the dates in the old texts are to be believed, more than one Sith son had been on his way by the time his parents had slashed hands.   Kylo himself wants a son but he knows better than to raise the kid issue with Rey just yet.   She's nervous enough as it is.  And, well, it’s a touchy subject given her accident on Jakku.  All in due time, Kylo thinks.  It's what old Darth Plagueis used to say.  And like his Muun Master before him, the soon to be immortal Darth Ren too will have time to spare.

 

"Kylo," Rey walks back from the cockpit and gently interrupts his reverie.  She looks a little tentative, so he smiles and beckons her forward.  Rey makes to sit down beside him but he intercepts her, pulling her down into his lap.  He's expecting her to laugh or smile, but she doesn't.   This is something serious, he sees.

 

"How did the Jedi honor their dead?" Rey asks. "Do you know?"

 

Yes, he knows. "Usually, the body of the knight was cremated on a funeral pyre."  It's why his asshole uncle had immolated his grandfather on Endor.  Burning in death a man who had once burned alive on grounds that Vader had turned Jedi in the end.  Kylo still thinks it the height of disrespect for the great Sith lord. 

 

"Cremation." Rey nods slowly. "That sounds dignified and fitting.   What about the Sith?"

 

"The Sith bury their dead," he tells her.  For in death as in life, the Sith are far more corporal than the Jedi.  "There are many tombs in the Valley of Dark Lords on Moraband.  Someday, I will take you there."

 

"Do the tombs include the wives?" Rey asks softly and now Kylo knows what she's getting at.  "Is Darth Plagueis buried there?"

 

He can't hide his woebegone look.  These are memories he would rather not recall. "Rey, our Master dissolved into the Force.   There was no body left to bury.  It was a sign of his great power.  Only Jedi and Sith of great eminence lose their body as they die.   Lord Vader did the same."

 

"I'm glad for Snoke," Rey decides after a long pause.   "Literally becoming the Force is very him," she remarks.  And she's right, it is.   Snoke probably loved it.  And, of course, the old Muun would have thought it his due.

 

"But you were thinking of his lady," Kylo observes to Rey.

 

"Yes.  It seems wrong to leave her there in a tank.  And it would be wrong to revive her so many years later with her husband now lost.  Kylo, I think her body should rest in peace.  Her Force is long gone."

 

"Yes, you're right."  Kylo nods his agreement to her wisdom. "Snoke was very proud of his Jedi wife," Kylo recalls.  "And there is no tomb to bury her in, so perhaps cremation is appropriate.  Although," he muses, "their son is buried on the Palpatine estate, along with my mother. Perhaps she belongs there."

 

"Milo knew her.  Ask Milo what to do," Rey suggests.  "He will know what is fitting."

 

"Yes," Kylo agrees.   Milo will certainly have an opinion and will dutifully advise when consulted.  But he will want Kylo to decide.  For these are the tasks that fall to him now as Sith Master.  Darth Ren is the custodian of his family's traditions going forward.   It's just one of his many responsibilities.

 

"We will do something fitting for the Jedi wife of a Sith god," Kylo decides as he takes Rey’s hand and squeezes it. "Never fear.  We will honor her."

 

Rey smiles at him and he can tell she is both relieved and pleased.  "Kylo, if anything ever happens to me, I don't want to be in a tank somewhere.  If I die before my time, then let me go--"

 

"No."   She's got it all wrong.  Rey isn't going to die before her time because she will live forever, like him. "Rey, I won't let anything happen to you--"

 

"I bet that's what Snoke told his wife--"

 

"It will be different for us," he assures her.  "You'll see."


	65. Chapter 65

It takes less than two days for Kylo's execution of General Dameron to scuttle the talks with the Coruscant militia prisoners.  In the end, Poe's exhortations to Rey end up discouraging her but encouraging Aleppo.  And Kylo's actions serve to reinforce everyone's worst fears about him.   Rey is gone to Naboo for a day trip and then she returns to find her peace talks in complete disarray.

 

The retired professor speaks for the group as he informs Nestor and Rey that they will not compromise with a brutal regime like the First Order.  Kylo Ren is an unhinged madman, he states unequivocally.  If this is the man Leader Snoke trusts with his armies, then we have no confidence that a peace agreement will improve things for our world.

 

Nestor gives Aleppo a serious, quelling look in response.  “You do remember what Ren said back at the camp, right?  That anyone who does not want peace will die by his sword?”

 

“Yes,” Aleppo responds and there is a chorus of nods from the rest of the group. 

 

Nestor leans forward in his chair to warn, “Kylo Ren is not a man who makes idle threats, Professor.  Would you like to reconsider?”

 

“No.”  Again, there is a chorus of support from the others. 

 

“Let’s take a break.” Nestor now huddles with Aleppo and Rey trying to get things back on track.  “This is about Dameron, right?” the Second Knight complains.  “Trust me, Poe Dameron was an impediment to peace.  That hardline zealot had it coming.”

 

“We don’t see it that way,” Aleppo responds quietly.  In private, the scholar lays all his cards on the table.  He tells Rey that her brother is far too young for the role he is playing.  Maybe that explains Kylo Ren's testosterone fueled violence and his lack of a measured approach to the war, but it gives Aleppo and his militia friends no confidence in Kylo Ren as a long-term leader.   The duplicity of the evening with Kylo also undercuts the fragile rapport Nestor and Rey had built with the prisoners.   For if Kylo Ren lies about who he is to Aleppo, what other things are Nestor and Rey lying about?  Plus, Rey's background with the Resistance just confuses matters further. For anyone who can switch sides like she did is very suspect in their eyes.   I might not agree with anything Kylo Ren thinks, Aleppo tells Rey, but at least Ren has consistent convictions and I know where he stands.

 

After a few minutes of wrangling, Nestor throws in the towel and Rey too concedes failure.  This isn't six weeks of grueling negotiations with Poe and his team, it's only a week of informal discussions with a handful of prisoners.  But somehow today’s outcome feels just as discouraging for Rey.  For this had been her personal brainchild and something of a last-ditch effort.  There will be no further forays into peace negotiations, she knows.  This had been it.   And Kylo had only reluctantly agreed to these talks as a special favor for her. 

 

Nestor wastes no time disappearing to inform Kylo.  Rey takes full advantage of his absence to order the hasty return of the prisoners to the camp on the Coruscant surface.   A transport is made ready and the prisoners are marched to the hangar bay.  Rey accompanies them, shaking hands, thanking them and wishing each good luck.  Rey understands their decision even if she disagrees with it.   And she’s determined to continue to conduct herself with dignity and to treat these people with respect.   Like a princess would, she thinks. 

 

The transport is warming up and its ramp lowering as Kylo stalks up with Nestor.  Kylo marches right up to Aleppo.  "So, Professor, you will not make peace."

 

"No," the old man answers resolutely.  “I will not give in to your tyrant Leader.”

 

"Fair enough," Kylo responds, lighting his sword to abruptly take the old man's head off.

 

Rey looks on stunned silence.  For two nights ago Kylo and Aleppo had spent an hour talking Clone Wars history like old friends.  And now, Kylo has summarily executed the man. 

 

"I will have peace," Kylo announces to the others.  "Those who will not make peace will be destroyed.  Who among you will make peace?"

 

No one responds. 

 

"Very well, then."  Kylo turns to Nestor and orders, "Execute them.  I will not let them live to fight against me again."  With that, Kylo stomps off back to work.

 

Nestor looks over to catch Rey staring white-faced at the fallen body of Aleppo.  “Princess, you don’t need to see this,” he cautions her.  A squad of stormtroopers has already begun forming up a firing squad against the nearest wall.   “Princess,” Nestor steps closer.  “It would be best if you returned to your quarters now.”

 

“Y-Yes,” Rey shakily agrees.  She doesn’t want to see this.  And standing there looking on makes her feel complicit, like Poe had said.  Rey doesn’t agree with any of this, but she’s not doing anything to stop it.  And maybe that does make her complicit.  Rey isn’t sure.   One thing is for sure—she feels ashamed for her part in this. 

 

“Go on,” Nestor urges as the lead trooper comes up to ask the Second Knight to give the order to fire.  Rey hurries away without further prompting.  She cringes as she hears blaster fire in her wake. Through the Force, she senses a ripple of death.

 

The failure of Rey’s peace talks with the Coruscant militia ushers in a new and even more vicious phase of the siege.  Kylo orders no quarter for all further combat operations.  He will not fill more detainment camps to feed and house his enemies.  The time for mercy is over.  In mere days, the death toll jumps astronomically.   It’s mostly men, but plenty of women and children too.

 

Rey cannot remain silent any longer.  She confronts Kylo one night as he walks through the door.  “Death squads?  Mass executions?  Kylo, this is slaughter!  This is wrong!”  If he’s taken aback at this greeting, Kylo doesn’t show it.  He keeps walking right past her and she hurries to catch up.  “Kylo, please tell me it will stop!”

 

“I will have order, Rey,” he answers wearily.  “I tried to make peace.  Twice.  Coruscant had its chance.”  He runs a hand through his hair as he looks away.  “This war has already drug on far too long.  And the longer it takes, the more people die.”   Kylo tosses his helmet and gloves to the couch, sighing out his frustration.  “If they would just give in, this would all be over.  This is their fault, not mine,” he argues with a twisted logic that makes Rey blink.

 

“Kylo, you know that this is not the solution,” Rey argues in a more moderate tone as she watches him shrug out of his surcoat.  “You can't murder your way into people's hearts.” 

 

Kylo disagrees.  “Fear will end this war, Rey.  That’s why I am creating fear.”  He sits down heavily on the couch and starts yanking off his boots.  “It was Tarkin’s theory for the Death Star and Snoke’s strategy for Starkiller Base.  And it works.  Fear will keep the local systems in line once they see what we’re doing to Coruscant.”  Kylo shoots her an annoyed look now.  “I’m no sadist killer.  My violence always has a purpose.  You know that.”

 

Yes, Rey has heard that line before.  She knows that the First Order views its Coruscant operations not as indiscriminate destruction, but as calculated strategy.  And that the context of war excuses even deliberate targeting of civilians.  There are no rules where the Sith are concerned.  All losses are acceptable losses because the ends always justify the means.  “When will it stop?” she asks plainly.  “When does this end?”

 

“When I have peace and order.” He is matter of fact.  Kylo looks up to meet her gaze and holds it steadily.  “Rey, I do not enjoy doing this.” 

 

“No, but you enjoy power,” she accuses.  He frowns but doesn’t deny it.  Instead, he stands and plods barefoot across the room to grab a beer.  Rey can tell it’s been a long day for Kylo and part of her feels bad for having met him at the door with an argument.  But still, Rey is not ready to let this issue drop.  She’s probably the only person who can say these things to Kylo and he needs to hear them.  She needs to say them, too.

 

“This is a war and people die,” he tells her as he wanders back.  It’s an explanation that Rey has heard far too many times from Kylo recently.   She resents him blaming his actions on the war as if he has no control over it.   As if he were some powerless stormtrooper following orders and not the man in charge of everything. 

 

“These people are innocent,” she contends.

 

“Only some of them,” he counters.  “And those innocent lives are the price of progress.  Life isn’t fair.”  Rey makes a face at this patronizing comment and he amends himself to add, “Things will be better soon.  After the war is over, things will be better.” 

 

Kylo says this last part by rote and she wonders if even he believes it.  She certainly doesn’t.  Because ‘after the war is over’ seems a pointless argument coming from a Sith who was raised to believe that peace is a lie.  Those poor people down on Coruscant are just more cannon fodder for the First Order.  Like the civilians who fell in the crossfire of the Mid Rim campaign.  Like the billions of innocents on Hosnia.  Like the harmless do-gooders who lived in that Church of the Force village back on Jakku.   Anyone who gets between Kylo Ren and the pursuit of power is expendable, Rey sees.

 

“You are Snoke all over again aren't you?” Rey accuses. 

 

He nods and takes this as a compliment.  “Yes, I'm hoping to be.”

 

Now it’s Rey’s turn to frown.  “You are well on your way to succeeding,” she mutters.  They are talking past one another, she sees.  Because when Kylo takes her criticism as a life goal, there is something fundamentally wrong with their communication.  Or maybe, something fundamentally distinct in their values.  Rey isn’t sure.  More and more, Rey worries that despite Kylo’s sweet ‘I love you’ this relationship isn’t working. 

 

“I’m done with war for today,” Kylo tells her as he comes up beside her.  He snakes an arm around her waist to pull her close.  “No more talk of war.  Come to bed, Princess.  We’ll eat later.” 

 

“No, not tonight,” Rey turns him down.  She’s not in the mood.   And Kylo always does this when they bicker about the war—he just shuts the conversation down.  Annoyed, Rey steps out of his embrace. 

 

But as usual, Kylo won’t take no for an answer.  He sets down his beer and begins his determined campaign.  “Yes,” he croons into her ear as his hands come up around her waist.  “I need you tonight,” he whispers between kisses dropped in a trail down the side of her neck.   “I need you every night.”

 

Yes, she knows.  This stressed out Sith needs her Light to banish his demons and to temporarily forgive his sins.  More and more, Rey is starting to think that Poe Dameron was right and she is complicit.  She is a collaborator.  Because her relationship with Kylo gives aid and comfort to the galaxy’s chief thug.  Rey can tell herself that the Kylo she knows behind closed doors is a different man from the military and political figure who is all over the holonet.  But really, they are one and the same.   Living with Kylo on the _Finalizer_ gives her an eyewitness view to his brutality, and she’s having trouble coming to grips with that fact.

 

Kylo’s hands creep higher and his mouth is on hers.  Rey starts responding despite herself.  His touch is that seductive.  “I will always need you,” he rasps into her neck.  “I love you, Rey.  Let me show you how much I love you.”  They do this so often and they do it so well that Rey can’t say no.  For she might be as addicted to this physical comfort as he is.   Plus, he tells her that he loves her all the time now.  It’s not scary anymore because Rey knows that Kylo is not looking for her to reciprocate.  So when she hears those three words it’s nice.  Very nice. 

 

Afterwards, they are lying in bed naked together.  She's in the crook of his arm, hair spilling everywhere.   "I’m not happy, Kylo," she says into his chest.   Lately, the war has really gotten her down. 

 

He just chuckles. "Don't tell me that wasn't good for you, Rey.  Because I know just how much you loved it." 

 

What he says is true.  But it's not the point.  She and Kylo have an amazing connection in bed.   It's equal parts sexual chemistry and the Force.  Because with him in her head, sex is foolproof.   He knows exactly what she likes and how to give it to her.   And, well, all he needs is the pleasure of her Light to give him what he needs.  But as mutually satisfying as that is, it's just sex.   That effortless connection doesn't seem to translate outside the bedroom here on the _Finalizer_.  Because when Kylo puts on his mask and steps outside his quarters, he is a man she doesn't like doing things she disapproves of.   And when Rey dresses as a princess and sweeps out behind him, she projects a lie that makes her uncomfortable.  She worries that these latent conflicts will ripen over time to cause them both heartache.  And in a forever marriage, there is no room for failure.

 

"I'm talking but us," she persists softly.  “About you and me.” 

 

"This is us," he yawns, shifting slightly to pull her closer.  "And we are very, very good together."

 

"Only here, in the bedroom."

 

"And on the couch and up against the wall," he goads her.  "Shall I go on?"

 

He's not getting this.  Not at all.  She tries again, making the request she's been thinking about all day.  Rey makes an effort to be low key about it. "Kylo, I want to go visit Milo at the castle for a few days."

 

"You see Milo three times a week already."

 

"But not Vanee and Yoda the Cat.   It would give me some space.  I want to get away from the war."  Mostly, she wants to get away from Kylo when he is at war.  Maybe if she has some distance from the situation, she will see things more clearly.  Rey knows that she needs to make a decision about her future.   The visit to Naboo had made it clear that Kylo has big plans for them.  Ever since that trip, Rey has been dancing around the issue of his proposal.    Mostly because she doesn’t know what she wants.  But just thinking about committing to Kylo for forever stresses Rey out.   Yes, she definitely needs some time alone to think.

 

“It would be good for me,” Rey wheedles.

 

"You want to visit a cat?" Kylo scoffs.  “Really?”

 

"I want some space." 

 

"Is this like how you used to go back to Jakku?" he complains softly.

 

Rey flushes.  He knows her well.  "Yes." 

 

"Alright," he allows.  "But just for a few days."   He shifts again and now he is nuzzling her neck.  "I miss you already.  Hurry back, Princess."

 

The next morning, Kylo accompanies her to the hangar bay.  She's expecting him to deposit her on a shuttle and then kiss her goodbye where no one can see.  But Kylo has other plans.  He marches her over to an alcove and gestures to the pristine craft that awaits.  It’s so new that it still has the factory sticker on it.   "You are not only my princess, but you are my newest test pilot," Kylo announces.

 

Rey gapes at the new prototype TIE.  "Wow!  Is this the one you sent me the plans for a few months ago?"  It sure looks like the same ship. “This looks amazing!”

 

“Yes.  It was delivered yesterday.  No one here has flown it.  It will still have that new TIE fighter smell to it.”

 

“What’s that?”  Rey of Jakku has no idea what a new starship smells like.   Aside from the First Order spacecraft she has been on, everything Rey saw back home and at the Resistance was old.  Very old.

 

“Trust me, it’s better than the old TIE fighter smell.  She's yours to try out.  Put her through her paces, Rey.  I want a full report on this ship when you get back."

 

"Really?"  Rey is delighted with these orders.

 

"Yes.  I want your full, unvarnished opinion.  If I'm going to let the procurement guys order a hundred of these from Kuat, I want to make sure we're getting our money's worth.  This ship is fully programmed with all security clearances you need for Mustafar and the jump coordinates are in the navicomputer.  Wait until you get through the Mustafar shield gate before you do your joy riding.  I don't want some terrorist taking potshots at you from the Coruscant surface or in open space."

 

"Isn't it armed?" she asks. 

 

"Heavily.  But that's not the point.   You'll have a full squad of TIEs as escort until you make your jump."  Rey opens her mouth to object but he beats her to it.  “Rey, I insist,” Kylo tells her in no uncertain terms.  “I want you to be safe.”

 

"Okay."  Rey is already pacing the perimeter of the ship.  She can't hide her excitement.  Now she understands why Kylo had told her to wear her borrowed uniform and not her usual princess getup.  Someone hands her a flightsuit and she starts zipping up.  Rey can't suppress her grin at this surprise.  Looking up into Kylo’s mask, she can almost see his answering smile hidden beneath.

 

But there's more.  "When you get to the castle, ask Vanee to show you Vader's collection," Kylo tells her.  "Vader kept a lot of lightsabers from Jedi he hunted down.   Choose one for yourself."

 

"Really?"  Rey squeaks.  "I get a sword?   I get my own sword??"

 

Now she knows he's grinning behind his mask.  "Yes.  My sister needs her own lightsaber.  When you get back, we'll adjust it and make it your own."

 

Rey thinks a moment.  "They were Jedi lightsabers . . . "  From dead Jedi, she realizes.  And that takes some of the glee off the moment.

 

"Yes,” Kylo confirms.  “Blue and green, mostly.  Just like you like'em, Rey.  Take your pick."

 

They are in the crowded hangar bay with plenty of onlookers.  Still, Rey throws herself into Kylo's arms.  "Thank you," she tells him. "This is the break I need."  Time away from the war.  Time away from the public Kylo Ren.  And when she returns, more time with the private man she knows learning about the Force he so loves.  Kylo is an excellent teacher.   And Rey knows that teaching relaxes him.  He always gets that dreamy look to him when he talks about the Force.

 

"I'm supposed to pat you on the head now, right?" he growls from beneath the mask.

 

"Like a good brother," she smiles impishly. 

 

"I like it when you're happy," he observes.  “Now, don’t wreck this ship.  It’s overpriced and over-budget as is.  Those Kuat guys are as mercenary as old Snoke.” 

 

Rey laughs and boasts, “I can fly anything.”

 

“I believe it.  Hurry back, Princess.  May the Force be with you.”

 

She stands on tiptoe to kiss the metal mask where his cheek would be.  “And also with you.”

 

"You are the strangest girl, Rey,” he remarks as she pulls back.  “You're supposed to woo a woman with jewelry and flowers.  But for you, it's a TIE fighter and a sword." 

 

The whole concept of Kylo wooing her makes Rey smile.  "I'm not like other girls," she retorts.

 

He nods. "Yes, I knew that from the very beginning."


	66. Chapter 66

When she arrives at Vader's castle, Vanee and Milo welcome her warmly.  Yoda the Cat brushes past her leg and instantly starts to purr. 

 

"My dear, we have been expecting you," Vanee grins as he offers her some refreshments after her long flight.  Sure enough, there is a plate of muffins and a pitcher of ice cold water waiting for her.  Rey beams over at Milo.  This is his doing.  He remembers what she likes from their days together at Snoke's bunker. 

 

"Blueberry," Rey says softly as she collects a muffin.  She’s suddenly reminded of her days visiting Army in the bunker infirmary. 

 

Milo must know where her thoughts are leading, for he tells her, "I saw the Commandant last week.   He tells me that he is working on Coruscant.  Thanks to you."

 

"It was Kylo's idea,” Rey disclaims this praise as she sits down and starts munching.  “I just wanted those children to go to school."

 

Milo looks only half convinced.  "The Commandant gave you all the credit.  I think he loves being back in the center of the action.  It reminds him of his Empire days."   Milo slants Rey a quietly approving look.  “The Commandant also credits your influence for vindicating his son's name."

 

This, at least, is credit Rey deserves.  "I wanted Army to be remembered for more than his weakest moment."  She looks away, thinking now of the handsome redheaded general who had warned her repeatedly away from Kylo Ren.  Armitage Hux and Poe Dameron would not have agreed on anything in life except for their judgement of Kylo Ren, and that seems rather telling.  In the end, to get her away from Kylo, Army had even been willing to turn traitor to his beloved cause.   

 

Is that what love does, she wonders.  Does it transform people?   Or do people change because they want to change?  And love just inspires them to make the change?  She’s not sure and that’s just one more thing to puzzle over.  Because Rey really wants to believe Kylo’s promises that things will be better when the war is over.  All his talk of balance too has kept her encouraged.  Rey keeps telling herself that if she hangs in there with Kylo long enough, then things truly will change.  And maybe Kylo too will change for the better.  And then, perhaps, the killing can stop.

 

“I always liked Armitage Hux.”  At her side Milo is also reflective.  Maybe he is feeding off her melancholy mood.  "Rey, life is complicated,” he advises in his grandfatherly way.  “We are all more than we seem."

 

"Or maybe not," she remarks sourly, thinking of Kylo.   Maybe the truth of Kylo Ren is far simpler than she has thought all along.  Has the truth been staring her in the face but she hasn't seen it?  Kylo blames her standoffishness on Jakku, and perhaps he’s right.  But lately, Rey has been wondering if Jakku is not the reason she doesn’t know how to love.  Maybe the legacy of Jakku is that she doesn’t know who to love.  Because the isolated teenaged scavenger girl had fallen for the first guy who came around and treated her well.   He had a flashy ship and power converters that meant she could eat for days.  And that’s all it took.  It’s humiliating to admit it, but maybe it’s not the Force that had brought them together, so much as Rey’s own desperation.    

 

From almost the beginning, Rey has watched Kylo murder people.  First it was the slavers on Jakku and she was grateful for that actually.  Then it was her Resistance brethren on Kardura and she chalked that up to the war.  But as she has spent more time around Kylo on the _Finalizer_ , she has witnessed how casual and everyday his violence is.  And that too she has chalked up to the war.  She can rationalize away each individual act but the scary mosaic it all presents cannot be denied.   This man is ruthless to the core and kills on a whim.  And while that is something this desert scavenger knows well from Jakku, it is not something she likes. 

 

The difference is that Rey didn't have a choice about living under Unkar Plutt, but she does have a choice about living with Kylo Ren.

 

This is a man who has systematically killed his entire family.  And he started killing young--barely fifteen when he was killing his Jedi classmates.  That bold act had revived the old fear of Sith hunting Jedi and unintentionally led to Rey's own abandonment on Jakku.  Because fear flows in this man's wake and not compassion.  He esteems order but ignores justice.  His empathy is selective and meager.  And there is nothing sacred to him but power.  None of that bodes well for a future in which Kylo Ren rules the galaxy.

 

Kylo is so compelling in his convictions because he believes them to the core.  It makes his decisiveness admirable even if it's violent and aggressive.  And his well-reasoned arguments are persuasive even if his conclusions are extreme.  This is the pitch of the First Order and billions have answered its call to fight and die.  But Rey herself has long held back.  Because none of this feels right and it all makes her increasingly uncomfortable.  And when it is coupled with a forever commitment, alarm bells keep going off in Rey's head.

 

Her datapad buzzes and Rey drags it out of her pocket.  It’s Kylo checking on her. 

 

_Mustafar command confirms that you arrived safely.  If you leave soon, you can be back at the Finalizer late tonight._

His comment makes her smile a little.  She types back.  _Does this mean you miss me?_

_Always, Rey._

_You're just horny._

_That too._

 

At Mustafar Castle, Milo spends his days holed up in an office working on formation of the new Senate.  Word of this important nod to democracy had leaked out after the failed ceasefire attempt with the Resistance.  It had been so well received that Kylo is running with the idea.  Milo, Cesi's father Octavian Ono, and Nestor Flick together are now hard at work drawing up plans for a Senate.  

 

It turns out that Milo knows all sorts of details about how Darth Plagueis and Darth Sidious had bought and sold the Old Republic Senate back in the day.  The old Sith servant had been something of a go-between when it came to Plagueis’ bribery, special favors and extortion.  Consequently, Milo’s expertise in gerrymandering and meting out plumb committee assignments is invaluable for structuring this new legislative body.  Ostensibly modeling the First Order Senate after the Old Republic Senate might look like a huge concession to Kylo’s critics, but in reality it’s a convenient means to manipulate it.  It’s one more way in which the sly Sith is putting one over on the galaxy, Rey realizes. 

 

Milo’s busy days leave Rey a lot of time to listen to Vanee's stories and watch the holonet.  Out here away from the Coruscant communications blackout, Rey gets more than just the First Order approved news sources.  The free press, she learns, has a very different take on Kylo Ren's siege.  Grainy transmissions smuggled out of Coruscant or beamed long distances off-world show the realities of wartime life under an oppressive regime.  Mass graves.  Rampant destruction.  Starvation and despair.  Rey has seen for herself the true state of affairs.  It's actually far worse than what is being portrayed.   And far more widespread than anyone realizes. 

 

When Rey watches the nightly newsfeed analysis, it's always the same.  A slick, well-spoken and attractive woman appears in support of the First Order.  She speaks persuasively and she's easy on the eyes.  Some crusty leftist professor type appears to argue the New Republic and Resistance points of view.  He's old and a little condescending.  Each side says the predictable thing and speaks in focus-group approved talking points and loaded buzzwords.  After the initial exchange, the moderator loses control of the discussion and it becomes a quasi-shouting match.  When it's over, no one has said anything new, no one's mind has been swayed, and no one looks happy.  It's a little like one of her recent conversations with Kylo, Rey thinks.  

 

Perhaps these holonet debates are just a microcosm of the larger conflict.   Years of bitter fighting have made the opposing viewpoints entrenched and strident.  The rhetoric is inflammatory and often petty.  The arguments are emotional.  Both sides have long since dug in on extreme positions.  Watching it as someone who tried not once but twice to negotiate peace, Rey is thoroughly annoyed.  Why is compromise such a dirty word these days?   If everyone stands on principle for every issue, it's impossible to find common ground.  But that is the state of affairs, Rey must admit.   As annoyed as she is with Kylo for ruining her talks with the militia, she has to concede that peace was a long shot even before Kylo pulled out his sword.  Poe Dameron certainly hadn’t been in a mood to make peace that night and, to be honest, the Coruscant militia members hadn’t seemed much more receptive.   The gulf between the two sides of this war is very wide.  Even Rey is starting to think it is insurmountable.

 

Unifying the galaxy going forward will be a tall order, she sees.  When Kylo finally does succeed in conquering the Core, Rey doesn’t envy him trying to govern it.  More and more, Rey fears that things won’t get better after the war ends.  They will just be different.  And perhaps equally as difficult.  Watching all this media coverage just makes Rey increasingly frustrated and pessimistic, so she turns it off.  She's here to escape the war, she reminds herself.

 

Back on Coruscant, Kylo is getting impatient.  At least once a day, he sends her a summons home.

 

_If you leave soon, you can be back at the Finalizer tonight._

_Maybe tomorrow._ Rey is in no hurry to return to the warzone that is the galactic epicenter of Darkness and despair. 

_Break's over, Rey.  Come home.  That's an order._

_Maybe tomorrow._

 

Vanee and Milo both insist on putting Rey in the master's chambers during her stay.  It's about the only thing the two men agree upon, Rey sees straightaway.  For the most part, the two longtime Sith servants appear to have reached a detente on their respective roles.  Milo spends his days on the Senate and conducts audiences on behalf of the Supreme Leader.  Darth Ren’s personal assistant is something of an ex officio leader of the First Order, Rey realizes.  Vanee takes the non-political role of ruling over all personal and household matters for the Sith.  Vader’s old caretaker is a shadowy figure whose identity, like the existence of Mustafar Castle, is something of a need-to-know secret.

 

“I had your remaining things moved in here,” Vanee tells Rey that first day as he ushers her into Vader’s suite.  “You will be the mistress here soon.  It seemed fitting.”  Maybe it's a nice gesture befitting an honored guest, but Rey isn't too keen on sleeping in Darth Vader's bed.  It's creepy and sad to sleep with the bridal portrait of Kylo's dead grandmother looming over her.  And it reminds Rey of dead Lady Plagueis clutching her holochron and her lightsaber in the temple.   If Rey had cold feet about being a Sith’s lady before, these sleeping arrangements have only increased her trepidation.

 

Both Milo and Vanee clearly expect her to become Missus Kylo someday very soon.  It’s very evident in all sorts of ways, like when Rey wanders into the kitchen and finds Vanee pouring over a hologram projection of blueprints. 

 

“What are you working on?” Rey asks.

 

"The new Imperial Palace."

 

"Oh."  That’s not the answer she had expected, but it’s not surprising.  Of course, Kylo wants a palace.  And knowing him, it’s probably going to be bigger and better than the original Imperial Palace.  The Sith are competitive like that, she knows.

 

Vanee smiles as he turns to her.  "Would you like to see your palace?" 

 

"My palace??” Rey blinks at this description.  “Uh.  No," she declines reflexively.

 

But Vanee is clearly proud of his work and wants to show it off.  "Let me at least show you the living quarters.  I’ve made sure there is plenty of room for a family.   See here, the nursery is adjacent to the master suite but it is also accessible from the far side from a nanny's room as well.  And there are plenty of bedrooms for a growing family.”

 

“Oh.”  Just talking about this subject is making Rey nervous. 

 

But Vanee doesn’t see it.  Now that he has her attention, the old caretaker keeps going.  “The Emperor and Empress will share the same suite per Lord Ren's request.  I know it is not customary in these formal settings, but the Master wanted the private areas of his palace to be informal.  Lord Vader was the same way," Vanee approves.  “My first Master lived a life with so much pomp and protocol in Coruscant that he wanted to live informally here in private.  It’s why his castle feels so intimate.”

 

"Yes," Rey responds somewhat stiffly.  “Of course.”

 

"Allow me to show you the rest.  Princess, you really will like it--"

 

"No.  Thank you, Vanee.  I’m sure that whatever you choose will be perfect.  I . . . uh . . . don’t know very much about this sort of thing.  But I’m not hard to please," Rey adds.  She grew up in an AT-AT, after all.  Aesthetics are not her thing.  A woman like Cesi Flick would be all over these blueprints, Rey knows.  But not Rey. 

 

"Of course.”  Vanee backs down after her vote of confidence.  Or perhaps he wants to retain creative control.  But either way, Rey is fine with it.  Vanee’s next topic, however, instantly makes Rey wish she had agreed to look at the palace blueprints.  “Well, then perhaps we should discuss the arrangements for the wedding."

 

"W-Wedding?" Rey echoes weakly.  "But Kylo said Sith weddings were secret."

 

"Yes, but we should discuss a ring.  And you will want the traditional dress, of course.   Perhaps also a trousseau?"

 

“A what?”  An alarmed Rey quickly changes the topic. "Actually, I was hoping to see Lord Vader's lightsaber collection."

 

“Oh.”  Now it’s old Vanee’s turn to look a little befuddled.  “Well, yes, of course.”

 

Together, Rey and Vanee venture down into the dusty castle basement into the storage rooms.  Rey had been half expecting to find Vader’s saber collection displayed as trophies of war.  As mementos of past victories to esteem his glory.  But apparently the Imperial Sith didn’t see it that way.  He kept his Jedi lightsabers locked away in four nondescript crates. 

 

“They are categorized,” Vanee explains as he and Rey together lift the lids of each crate.

 

"Oooh by color?" she asks, sounding a bit girly.

 

"No, by user."  Vanee points to the set of four crates one by one. "Jedi Masters.  Knights.  Padawans.  Younglings."

 

"Younglings?"  Rey isn’t familiar with the term.

 

"That was the term for Jedi children under age eight, I believe."

 

“Oh.”  Rey frowns.  "Vader killed children—I mean younglings?"

 

Vanee nods.  "They were the enemy."  He gestures now to the crates.  “These sabers are from Jedi hunted down after the initial Purge.  Lord Vader did not collect the swords of the Jedi killed at the Coruscant Jedi Temple.”

 

“Oh.”  Rey looks into the crate of swords from younglings.  She's thankful that there are only a few swords stored within.  They look so small, like toys.  A closer look shows that they are all training swords, like hers back on the _Finalizer_.  And that makes perfect sense.  But it makes it even less of a fair fight for the Sith lord Vader to have fought small children wielding toy swords.   What manner of man was Lord Vader that he personally killed Jedi younglings?  And would Kylo have done the same, she wonders.  Probably so, she thinks with a heavy heart.  Because if you’re not with the Sith, then you’re against them.  Kylo had killed his own Jedi uncle, after all.  It’s a high stakes game to have the Force, Rey realizes with sudden insight.  It’s a good thing Kylo loves her.  Otherwise she too might be dead. 

 

Rey hurries to replace the lid on the crate of swords from younglings.  She starts poking through the other crates.  "Kylo told me to choose one,” Rey explains softly.

 

"Then, by all means, choose a Jedi Master's sword,” Vanee encourages her.  Rey does just that after aimlessly sifting through the collection for a few minutes.  Somehow, she had imagined that she would know which sword to choose, that she would feel some connection to it in the Force and that’s how she would know the one.   But in the end, she chooses the hilt that feels most comfortably sized for her hand.   It’s not particularly fancy and it looks like it has seen heavy use.  When Rey lights it up, its blade is a gleaming blue.  Unmistakably Jedi. 

 

Yes, she thinks, as she takes a few practice swings and listens to the blade buzz.  This is the one.  She takes a picture of the lit sword and sends it to Kylo.  It provokes another summons.

 

_Nice choice.  If you leave soon, you can be back at the Finalizer tonight.  I'll order you ration muffins for dinner and we can get started customizing that sword for you.   It’s dangerous to use a sword that’s too long._

 

_Did you put Vanee up to asking me about a wedding dress?_

_He likes to plan ahead._

_Yes, I know.  Vanee has met with architects to build you a palace._

_He likes to plan ahead.  And we can’t live in your AT-AT, Empress._

 

_He couldn’t wait to show me the nursery_.

 

_I like to plan ahead too_.  _When are you coming home?_

_I’ll let you know._

 

Later that day, Rey is watching the holonet newsfeed.  Some contraband pictures of a mass execution have gone viral.  The shockingly graphic pictures keep replaying incessantly.  And unlike the firing squad for the militia members in the hangar bay, Rey forces herself to watch.  She knows that she needs to see this.

 

As usual when this sort of thing surfaces, the First Order has no comment.  They neither confirm nor deny the veracity of the footage.  This is intentional, Rey knows.  Kylo wants the rest of the Core systems to fear that they will suffer the fate of Coruscant if they do not surrender.  Smuggled third party footage of war crimes helps to make that threat credible.   Rey, of course, knows that the footage is true.  Watching it convinces her that she doesn't want to return to the warzone.  And she doesn't want to return to wartime Kylo Ren.  Rey knows that Kylo had probably ordered these executions.  No doubt he thinks he's doing the right thing because these people are the enemy.  Like Vader had probably thought himself justified for killing Jedi younglings long ago.  Rey can hear Kylo's explanation now:   This is war, Rey.  People die. 

 

It makes her wonder what Kylo's excuse will be for killing people during peacetime.  When she and Kylo are snug in their fancy palace that Vanee is designing and they are insulated from all the cares of real life.   Will the violence stop then?  Rey is skeptical.  As far as she can tell, violence is a way of life for the Sith.   

 

Rey knows she has been drifting into Kylo's future the way the galaxy has drifted into his control.  Little by little, the First Order had made inroads in an atmosphere of complacency.  For virtually every major system was slow to recognize the threat for what it was.  This is a splinter group, these are extremists who can't possibly believe what they espouse, and besides, they are doing some good in the Rim.  Let them be for now was the conventional wisdom.  And so too, Rey had been somewhat willfully ignorant of the truth of Kylo Ren.  For lost in his rapturous kisses and promises of a better future, tilting into oblivion under his body's spell, she tells herself that he means well and his aims are noble and good.  She believes his goals of a better tomorrow like she believes his promises of love because they are sincerely said.   But that doesn't mean they are not a lie.  Maybe Kylo is lying to himself as much as she is lying to herself, but it's a lie all the same, Rey suspects.  This man promises peace but he only uses violence.  He promises love but she worries it's more akin to control.   He says he wants balance but Rey is drowning in his Darkness.  Losing her sense of self, of what she wants and what she needs, for that all takes a backseat to him.  For it's his vision and his future even if he calls it mutually their own. 

 

The uncomfortable part is that there is no deceit in this Sith where she is concerned. From their first days on Jakku long before Snoke and the truth of her heritage, Kylo had wanted them to be together after his war.  He has long wanted her for a bride and she was to be Snoke's prize for killing his uncle.  Luke Skywalker is dead now and Kylo is a Sith Master and it’s not long before he rules it all.  And so, the 'maybe someday' aspect of their future has become ripe.   Finally, Rey is sitting up and taking notice.  She cannot be complacent any longer.

 

When Rey looks up next at the holonet, the execution footage is playing again.  It’s depressing to know that the man who did this says he loves her.  Rey takes up her datapad lying next to her new sword on the bedside table.  She types a message:  _Kylo, I'm not coming back to the Finalizer.   I think I want to stay here at the castle by myself for now._

 

Kylo must be busy because he doesn't type back.  When Rey checks her datapad again before bed, he still hasn't responded.  That's odd.  Maybe he's mad, she thinks.  She'll try to get on Kylo's schedule for a comcall tomorrow.  Then she can explain that she will live here at the castle for the duration of the war until the killing stops.  She'll continue to play the Sith princess for Milo but she won’t be a PR prop for Kylo's Coruscant Siege and she won't continue to enable his Darkness with her Light.  She and Kylo can be together when the war is over and things are better like he has promised.  That's when Rey will select a wedding dress and look at Vanee's palace plans and make decisions about the nursery and number of bedrooms.   Not before. 


	67. Chapter 67

It's only been five days without Rey but it feels like an eternity.  How had he endured all that time alone when Rey was at the Resistance and at Snoke's bunker?   The answer, of course, is that Kylo didn't know then all that he had been missing.  But he knows now. 

 

Kylo misses Rey’s smile and her loud abrupt laugh.  The way she takes forever in the shower but can gobble an entire meal in two minutes flat.  The way Rey tilts her head when she listens intently and how she purses her lips in concentration as she dances through her lightsaber forms.  The way Rey stands a little taller and lifts her chin imperiously when she dons her princess garb.  But how he finds that same girl cross-legged on the couch barefoot with her nose in her datapad most nights.

 

She sleeps curled up next to him and reaches over a few times a night just to feel that he's there.  It's her unconscious habit that used to startle him but now it's one more little quirk that he recognizes as his Rey.  She's the girl who fears being alone but also needs her space and that's why he is trying to be patient about this trip to Mustafar.  But he is greedy for her and needing her.  He keeps asking Rey to come home and she keeps putting him off.  Why does it always seem like he is chasing Rey?

 

At least it's not Jakku this time, he consoles himself.   That is progress at least.  But when is she coming home? 

 

Maybe he's whining, but he needs someone to come home to after a long day at war.  He needs the comforting proximity to her Light.  He might be commanding on the bridge but he likes how he can still sense her on his ship.  Knowing that she is near and she will be his later that night.  And then no matter how many people he kills that day, Kylo will be forgiven when Rey and her Light make it all better.  For nightly he is the penitent sinner begging for mercy and forgiveness from his desert priestess of the Light.  

 

Rey is the Light but she is not Luke Skywalker's chiding Jedi version of the Light Side.  Rey doesn't set conditions or make demands.   Her Light is accepting, forgiving and merciful without all the usual lectures and calls to reform.  She accepts him as he is.  From the beginning, Rey has accepted him.  He knows the things he does upset her and make her uncomfortable.  But he's not asking for her to approve and endorse all of his actions.  If anything, he welcomes her pushback.  More and more, he solicits her ideas.  Because Kylo wants her offsetting perspective.  That is how over time they will balance.  She might call him Master but he doesn’t want Rey to be obedient in all things.  Mostly, he wants a partner. 

 

But it's gotten to be too much for her, he sees.  From their earliest meetings, Rey had told him how she didn't like war as the solution to problems.  He knows she grew up scavenging in the death and the decay of the last war.  And his girl is the Light and so she disdains fighting except as a last resort.  Rey is a survivor who more often than not runs from conflict.   And he had put her squarely in the middle of his war.  Putting his princess on a First Order flagship and dropping her daily into the bitter conflict.  It has taken its toll, he sees now. 

 

She ran to Mustafar this time and not Jakku, he reminds himself.  When she had asked for Mustafar, he could not say no.  For hadn't his fearsome Sith grandfather retreated there himself to escape the pressures of life?   It pleases him that Rey has gone to Mustafar. 

 

Their electronic colloquy is getting nowhere but his efforts are halfhearted at best.  Yes, he wants her home but he's not insisting.  It's more that he wants her to know how much he misses her.  How much he needs her.   How much he cares.  Of all the deprivations of Jakku, the emotional one strikes him as the most devastating.  Maybe it's because he himself is so needy, but his soul would have withered in her circumstances.  And to know that his actions had instigated the series of events that had abandoned Rey on Jakku makes him feel terribly guilty.  He's a Sith and he doesn't have a traditional moral conscience, but for this consequence he feels remorse.  It's just one more reason that he wants to help Rey to transcend her past.  Because in this case, he is responsible.   And it feels perfect karma for him to be the one to suffer from Rey's remote heart.  That’s why he takes pains to be extra patient with her reticence.

 

It's the end of yet another grueling day when he checks his datapad to find her message.

 

_Kylo, I'm not coming back to the Finalizer.   I think I want to stay here at the castle by myself for now._

 

Oh. 

 

What the fuck?  Anger is his reflexive emotion, as always, but then he starts talking himself down.  Rey is pushing him away again.  He has scared her.  He's not blind to how his girl is a bit like a feral pet.  She takes a step forward to the normal life she craves but then a step back to her comfort zone.  This must mean she needs him, Kylo tells himself.  Rey doesn't know how to say that other than pushing him away.  So like an understanding soon-to-be-husband, Kylo will come to her aid.  He wolfs down his dinner and calls for his shuttle and heads to Mustafar Castle for his damsel in distress. 

 

He's determined like that.  Because growing up no one had cared about his emotional wellbeing enough to drop everything to check on him.  He had been one more thing for his overscheduled mother to manage and one more responsibility for his father to shirk.  Well, Kylo Ren is a Sith and so emotion is his stock and trade.  He recognizes a call for help.   He's ready to drop everything to abandon his war for Rey because that's how much she matters.   And if he gets to make love to her in Lord Vader's bed in the process, then all the better. 

 

He sleeps on the way and wakes at Mustafar refreshed.  Stealing into his ancestral castle in the wee hours.  He arrives unannounced.  He won't drag faithful old Milo and Vanee out of bed to bow and scrape at his arrival.  Instead, he slinks in under cover of darkness, nodding curtly at the few stormtrooper guards who patrol the landing pad.

 

Kylo finds Rey fast asleep in Vader's giant bed.  Wearing some ornate frou-frou negligee that she had left here with the rest of the princess wardrobe she had deemed non-essential.  But it's an arresting sight.  Rey is naked beneath all her transparent black lace.  Sleeping on top of the covers, as usual, for the habits of a desert dweller die hard.  Look at her, laid out for him like some virginal Sith sacrifice in a Dark lord's castle, nestled and waiting snug in bed.  His for the taking.  It's like some teenaged fantasy he might have. Thank the Force for this woman, he thinks, as he strips down to his pants to slide in next to her.   For he knows he does not deserve this woman.   His sins are many and his faults are too numerous to count.  Gods, he thinks, he wishes he were a better man for her.   But he’s not and he will never be.  For he is Sith.

 

On some subliminal level, Rey knows he is here.  For she reaches out a hand to grope blindly for his body.  Yes, he is here.   Reassured, she rolls over and resumes her deep sleep.  He lays there for an hour or two, memorizing her in between reviewing his current plots as he waits for the wee hours to become early morning.  And that's when he wakes his sleeping Sith beauty with a kiss.

 

"Good morning, Princess."

 

* * *

 

 

"Huh?"

 

Rey reaches over to grope at the lean, muscled body that is so familiar.  Her sleepy mind satisfied, she rolls over to go back to sleep.

 

"Good morning, Princess."  This time the voice sounds amused.  Strong arms reach for her now as the Sith's body scoots in close. 

 

"Kylo?" she asks drowsily as she rouses.

 

"Who else would it be?" he chuckles into her ear from behind. 

 

"MMmm . . . " He is kissing her cheek now.  "When is your first meeting?" Rey yawns out her words, eyes still closed.  "Or are you going to the bridge first thing?"

 

"You are my first meeting," Kylo tells her huskily and now she's come fully awake.  Rey sits up abruptly.  She sees Vader's dead wife on the wall and now she realizes she's not on the _Finalizer._   She's at Mustafar Castle.  Kylo is the one who's supposed to be back on the _Finalizer_.

 

"What are you doing here?" Rey asks bluntly, blinking down at the bare chested, barefoot Kylo who has appeared unannounced in her bed.

 

"Surprise," he smirks up at her.  "Miss me?"

 

"Uhhhh . . . "  How does she answer that?  Because she had come here to get away from this Sith and his war.

 

"This is perfect," he tells her, tugging her back down. "A hot Jedi girl with me in my grandfather's bed.  My seventeen-year-old self is high-fiving me right now." 

 

"Uhhhhh.  No."  There's nothing perfect about this.  Rey rolls off the bed and stands to her feet.  "When did you get here?" she frowns.

 

"A few hours ago.  It's still early.  No one's awake but us and the guards on the landing pad."  Kylo pats the bed next to him.  "Come to bed, Princess.  I've missed you."

 

"Did you get my message?" Rey asks warily.

 

"It's why I'm here," he nods.  "Come snuggle and tell me what's wrong.  Give me some pillow talk, baby.  I’m all ears."

 

"I . . . uh . . . “ Rey stalls, deciding. 

 

"Don't tell me you've left me for Vader's Force ghost?" Kylo teases.  But when she doesn't smile he sits up.   "Rey, what's wrong?" he asks gently.  When again she doesn’t answer right away, his eyes narrow.  "You're not pregnant again, are you?   Because the last time you were this weird you were--"

 

"No!" Rey cuts him off.  The less said about that touchy topic, the better.  "I mean, I don't think so.  I take those pills, remember?"  Well, she takes them when she doesn’t forget.

 

"Then what's got you acting so strangely?"  Kylo stands now and crosses the room to her side.   "What's got you scared and pulling away from me?  Come on, you can tell me," he cajoles as he pulls her close. 

 

And now suddenly all the words Rey had planned to say desert her.  The careful speech she had devised flees her mind when Kylo stands before her half naked looking ridiculously hot and acting sweet.   This is what is so confusing and disarming about this man.  How he can be so easy to live with but so hard to understand.  For the man who wants to cuddle and hear her troubles is a mass murderer who plots to control everything and everyone.  He is a befuddling set of contradictions and Rey is lost in it all.  The temptation is great for her to fall into Kylo’s strong arms again and just defer this conversation for another day.   But Rey has never been a passive sort of girl.   And she doesn’t want to get drawn deeper into this Sith’s life and drift closer to the future he plans for them.  At least, not before things change for the better first.

 

He's waiting for her to speak so she begins tentatively.  "I want to stay here.  I'm not going back to Coruscant with you."  She nods and repeats herself more forcefully.  "I'm staying here, Kylo."

 

"Why?"

 

It’s a simple question but the answer is hard to explain.  So Rey reflexively says the words that come first into her mind.  “I can’t bear to watch you kill more people.”  It’s the truth.  She cringes as she recalls that awful scene with Poe, raising her hands now to hug tightly at her arms.  “I won’t be a part of your war, Kylo.”  Her voice is a little shrill as she swears, “I won’t do it anymore!  I can’t do it anymore!”  Hot tears rush to her eyes and Rey looks away.  She’s not the crying type.  But she feels so anxious now.  Rey feels the Force swirling around them and that just heightens her unease.  “I h-hate war,” she breathes out as she wipes away a tear.

 

Kylo must see her distress because he tries to talk her down.  “It's okay.  You just got scared.  I see that now,” he reasons aloud.  “That’s fine.  No more peace talks, Rey.  No more camp visits.   No more _Finalizer_.”   He looks concerned now as he decides, “You can take a break from all that.   Stay here at the castle for as long as you want.  I'll come visit you when I can.   It will be a break for me that way too.”

 

Well, it’s a start, Rey thinks as she nods along.  But she’s not sure he’s getting it.  “Kylo, I need things to be different . . . ”   She struggles to find the words because really, she needs him to be different.  And how do you say that?

 

“Things will be different at here at the castle,” he promises.  “You can just pretend that the war doesn’t exist.”

 

Huh?   Kylo’s not getting this.  He’s definitely not getting this.  Because you can’t just ignore something as huge as his war.  Rey opens her mouth to speak but Kylo beats her to it.

 

“Listen, I want you to be happy,” he tells her.  He looks so earnest now.  “I want us both to be happy.” 

 

She does too but more and more Rey worries that’s not possible.  Not if things stay as they are now.  “Kylo, I want us to be happy too but I don’t think this is working.  I can't be your Empress.  I don’t want to live in a palace.  That’s not me.   And if that’s what you want, then you need a different girl--”

 

“That’s your insecurity talking.    Rey, I only need you.  You're thinking about this all wrong and you’re upset—“ 

 

“Yes!  I just--just—“

 

“Yes?”   He’s looking at her expectantly now and Rey still doesn’t know how to say this gently.  Social skills are not her thing.  And she shouldn’t have led with that bit about being Empress because the larger issue is that Rey doesn’t think she can be happy in Kylo’s world.  And it’s not just because she’s a scavenger masquerading as a princess, it’s also because he’s a Sith.

 

Her brow furrows as she looks away.  Her voice has an edge now.  “The problem is as much you as it is me . . .”  

 

“Me?   This is on me?”  Kylo is looking at her like she's speaking some language he doesn't understand instead of crisp Upper Level Coruscant Basic.  Like he is lost in her words and bewildered.  Gamely, he tries to comprehend her meaning.   “What did I do wrong?   Tell me and I will fix it.”

 

Rey looks him in the eye and just comes out with it.  “Kylo, the problem is what you want and what you will do to get it.”  She takes a deep breath and reveals, “The problem is that you are Sith.”

 

He makes a face.  “None of that is new to you—“

 

“Yes, but I see it up close now and it’s real.  And now I am a part of it.  Kylo, if I hadn't dragged those people to the _Finalizer_ for peace talks, then they would still be alive in a camp somewhere.  Not executed in the hangar bay . . . “

 

“Their days were numbered anyway, Rey.  This is a war.  People die.  You know that—“ 

 

“See?   That's what I can't live with!”  Rey seizes on his point.  Her voice is rising in pitch and in volume now.  Rey is increasingly agitated.  “I can’t live with a Sith who murders indiscriminately.  With the masked man who will do anything for power. That's as much a part of you as the man I know behind the mask.  And I don't think I can live with both of those men.  I don't want to be your Empress and rule of your Empire of blood and tears, Kylo.   It's not that I lack the confidence to do it.  It's that I choose not to do it!”

 

Her words are punctuated by her jabbing finger and Rey steps back as she realizes she is rudely hollering in Kylo’s face.  “I’m sorry,” she mutters as she flushes with embarrassment.  “That came out wrong.”  Usually, he’s the one escalating things but today it’s her.   That’s how strongly Rey feels about this point.

 

Stone faced Kylo takes a deep breath.  “Okay, fine,” he decides in clipped tones.  “For now, you don't have to be my Empress.  You can be my wife in the background like Lady Sidious.  We can take it slowly.  You can have as private a life as you wish while you grow into this role.”

 

“You're not listening to me,” Rey complains.

 

Kylo looks thoroughly annoyed now.  “I am trying to find a solution,” he grinds out.  “I am trying to make you happy.”

 

“I don’t think I can be happy in your world,” Rey wails out the truth.

 

“Why not?”  He’s a bit incredulous now.   Because why wouldn’t a woman want to be the beloved wife of the galactic Emperor?   It’s like some fairytale love story.  A poor orphan girl abandoned on a dead-end world is rescued by a handsome prince who conquers the galaxy and wants to marry her.   Yes, any girl in her right mind would be leaping at the opportunity Kylo is offering.  But not Rey.  Because she’s seen enough by now to know that the handsome prince is the bad guy in disguise.   Or maybe in real life there are no handsome princes who give you happily ever after.  Because reality is far more complex and muddled than the simplicity of fairytales.  Real life is rarely so black and white.  In Rey’s experience, it’s a bunch of tradeoffs that result in various shades of grey. 

 

“Why not?” Kylo demands again hotly as she hesitates.

 

And again, the harsh truth spills out.  “Because I don't want any of this!  I don't want to be married.  I don't want forever.   It scares me.”   

 

Rey makes to turn away but Kylo grabs her arm to stop her.  He’s looking down, searching her face in confusion as he tells her softly, “Trust me, Rey.  I will always take care of you.  There's nothing to be afraid of.”

 

Oh, but there is, Rey thinks with a glance behind him at doomed Lady Vader’s portrait.  “Kylo, I never wanted this,” she warns him.  “Growing up on Jakku, in my dreams my family would come for me and we would be together and be normal.  Normal, Kylo!  I want normal.  And you are not normal!”  Rey shakes off his hand and starts getting to the crux of the matter.  “The Sith are not normal.  The Skywalkers are not normal.  Living forever is not normal.  Ruling the galaxy is not normal.  It's dangerous and risky and arrogant and I don't want it!”  She’s hollering in his face again, so upset is she. 

 

Her vehemence has the odd effect of keeping Kylo calm.  His words sound reasonable next to her near hysterics.  “What do you want, Rey?”

 

What does she want?  Rey starts rattling off a wish list for the perfect Mid Rim life.  “A stable job and a safe place to live and a sweet boyfriend—“

 

Kylo snorts.  “Oh, come on, Rey.  That's a fantasy!  And that's not you.  You all but cheated on me with Hux.  He was no sweet boyfriend.”

 

“Compared to you he was!”

 

“Until he kidnapped you to the Resistance!”  Kylo is getting impatient with her.  He looks and sounds increasingly annoyed as he starts mansplaining life to her.  “Rey, we are Force-users.  We don't get boring, ordinary lives because we are agents of change.   We matter!  You and I are the foremost remaining Force-users in the galaxy.  We will never be normal.  We are so much more than normal.  Accept that and embrace it.”  He nods encouragingly to her now.  “Your destiny lies with me.  Together, we will do great things.”

 

But Rey disagrees.  “I can't pretend this is okay any longer,” she stammers out.  “I don't want this life.  I can't do this any longer . . . “ 

 

“What are you saying?  Spit it out, Rey.”

 

She takes a deep breath and decides right then and there.  “I'm leaving you.”  Rey says these words softly at first.  Then again with more conviction.  “Yes . . . I’m leaving you.” 

 

“You’re what??”  Kylo looks aghast.  Suddenly white-faced and horrified.  Through the Force she senses an unmistakable ripple of fear.  She has blindsided him, she sees.

 

“I can't l-love you,” Rey confesses to him shakily.  She hadn’t planned on going this far, but now that she has said the words out loud, Rey is committed.  Yes, this is the right path.  Why drag out the inevitable?   This Sith is not going to change.  “Kylo, I have tried to love you, but I cannot—“

 

“I know, Rey.”  He reaches for her again but she slips from his grip.  And now again, he is conciliatory.  So unlike his normal reactionary self.  “I understand, really I do.  It's too soon and there’s Jakku-- 

 

“This is not about Jakku!” she rages indignantly.  Rey has grown tired of her misgivings being swept aside to be categorized as ‘Jakku.’

 

“Bullshit!   Everything with you is about Jakku!” Kylo accuses.   “I can't change the past.  I can't erase Jakku.  I see that now.  But can help you find a better future.   And together, we will make a better future for everyone.”

 

“No!” she objects.  It’s Kylo’s same old refrain of optimism to explain away his violence.   Well, Rey is tired of hearing that the excesses of today will be excused by the prosperity of tomorrow.  Others in the First Order might buy that crap, but not Rey of Jakku.  “You're not getting it!   You are the problem, Kylo.  Not Jakku!”

 

“What?”  He’s blinking at her blankly.  “Me?”

 

“I don't want what you want,” she tells him bitterly.  “All this power and position isn't for me.  I don't want it.  I want a normal life.  Kylo, you are going down a path I cannot follow . . . ”

 

His mouth is a grim line now.  “We’ve been over this, Rey.  You don't get a choice.  To whom much is given, much is expected.  Now, suck it up.  You’re a Force-user and you are called to contribute for the good of the galaxy—“

 

“No!” she overrides him.  “I don't want it.  I don't want you!”

 

Her words momentarily stun him.  Kylo is taken aback.  But he recovers quickly to retort, “You don't mean that.  You can't mean that!”  He’s looking at her quizzically now.  In disbelief.  “How can you say that after all that we are to each other?  Rey, I love you!  In time, you will—“

 

“I won’t!” she cuts him off.  “I won’t love you.  I can’t love you.  Kylo, it’s because you're not lovable!”

 

“Not lov-able?” he echoes her slowly and quietly.  As if perhaps he had misheard.  “What does that mean?”  He looks almost afraid to ask.

 

Rey takes a deep breath before she answers.  “A man as cruel as you is not worthy of love.” 

 

Kylo stares at her for a long moment in silence.  Through the Force she senses his sharp pain at her rejection.  For formidable as this Sith lord might be, today she has hurt him.  Badly. 

 

She had done this once before to Army Hux under different circumstances and Rey remembers his reaction.  Wary from that experience, Rey prepares herself for what's coming next.  But nothing prepares her for what this Sith Master has in store.  Rey feels the onslaught before she sees it as Kylo summons the Force.  Then he unleashes it in a torrent of Dark power.  Hands outstretched to the sides to let the roaring blue fire he shoots from his fingertips harmlessly climb the walls around them to dissipate. 

 

For a moment, Rey simply gapes.

 

She has never seen Force lightning before, but she's heard the stories from Master Luke and from Army.  The reality of this Dark rage lives up to its hype.  Rey has seen firsthand the damage this ultimate punishment can inflict.   _Choose the sword, never lightning_.  Snoke's own words of warning now ring in her head.  Is Kylo going to turn his power on her next?  She can’t tell for his face is inscrutable.  He looks like some angry Dark god and not the man she knows.   

 

It is thoroughly intimidating.  Rey takes a step back.  And then another.

 

“I am not worthy of love?” Kylo advances on her.  His voice is an infuriated hiss.  “You--a scavenger—think you are too good for me?  I find you starving in the desert and I offer you a home and you turn me down.  You run to my enemies and still I want you for my own.  Then, you play the femme fatale with my rival and run off with him.  But still, I take you back.  Again, I offer you a home and again you turn me down.  Next, I find you drunk in public with another man cursing my name and still I forgive you.   I give you a home, I give you the galaxy, I offer you marriage and immortality.  And again, you turn me down.” 

 

His words convey a menace that alarms her.  Rey instinctively wants to run.  She knows that she needs to get out of here.  Now. 

 

“Do not say that I am cruel, Rey.  For I have shown you nothing but patience and mercy.  What I am is a fool.  For far too long, I have been a weak fool for you.”  He waves a finger before her nose now.  “You are the one who is unworthy, Rey!   You do not deserve all that I offer to you!  You are unworthy of my love.”  She sees him visibly swallow now and for a moment Kylo looks as if he might cry.  “How you disappoint me,” he concludes bitterly, his voice cracking with emotion.  Kylo hands are off to the side again and she feels the Force swirling around them.  Is he going to cast lightning again?

 

Rey of Jakku has never been one to ignore a true threat.  And so she thrusts out her right hand to call her new sword into her grip.  Some unknown but long dead Jedi’s lightsaber flies off Vader's bedside table into her open palm with the help of the Force.  Flexing her fingers securely around its grip, Rey finds her courage and finds her voice.  "Kylo, I am sorry that I hurt you but we are over.  This is for the best in the long run.  You’ll see.  I am leaving now."

 

“We’re not done yet.”  He shakes his head.  “Rey, you’re not going anywhere.”

 

Oh, but she is.  One way or another, Rey is getting away from this man so many have warned her about.  First Leia Organa and Master Luke, even General Hux, and finally Poe Dameron.  Rey has for too long ignored the good advice she received from both sides of the war.  Instead, she had run headlong into this man’s arms.  Well this, now, is the culmination of it all.  From the moment she had bargained for power converters with a mysterious tourist and unwittingly entered the life of this Sith, it was always going to end this way.  Because Light and Dark might coexist but they do not reconcile.  By their nature, they are in opposition.  Snoke was wrong in his theorizing, Rey thinks, and the Skywalkers have been duped one and all.  For there is no balance to the Force.  There is only conflict. 

 

Looking over at Kylo's snarling face, Rey feels sadness. Here is a man obsessed with control and quick to violence.  A man who is ruthless and indifferent to others' suffering.  He wants to rule it all--the galaxy, the Force and her--and he wants to rule it forever.  He claims he wants balance but his actions don't show it.  He talks a good game about making the galaxy great again but his motivation appears more like glory.  The common theme Rey sees in it all is selfishness.  For this is a man who is very straightforward about what he wants and needs.  And his default solution always is to take.  Kylo Ren's sense of entitlement is jaw dropping. 

 

How much control has Kylo asserted and how much has Rey allowed herself to be controlled?  She will admit to herself that there is something very comforting about a man who wants to take care of her.  After a lifetime of fending for herself, even a fiercely independent girl like Rey had been open to having someone helping to direct her life a bit.   In their own strange fashion, the Sith had welcomed her into their makeshift family.  It was the closest Rey would ever get to a family arriving to claim her after waiting so many long years.  And so when first Snoke and then Kylo had posited that the Force had brought them together, Rey had wanted to believe it.  To think that she had not waited in vain because she had been waiting for Kylo all along.  But now as she looks at the angry Dark Sith who against her better judgement she cares for, all Rey can think is that she has been expertly manipulated all along.  Does Kylo truly love her?  Now, she's not so sure.

 

He says that he loves her.  He says that he wants her for his Empress, for his equal.  But Rey feels more like a pawn.  She refuses to be a prop for his cameras.  She will no longer let him use her body and her Light to enable his Darkness.  Rey is through.  And that hurts.  Because were it not for his Dark ambitions and manipulations, Rey might have loved this man. Truly loved this man.  And maybe part of her already does.  For there is so much to admire about Kylo Ren.  So many talents, so much knowledge, so much drive, and so much twisted optimism.  And to her eyes he is so, so handsome.  It’s a compelling combination that has beguiled her for too long.  But not anymore.

 

Rey's conscience has been awakened.  Maybe it's a bit late in the game, but Rey is determined to see it through.  Because the universe skews hard to Darkness now and even the former Jedi trainee Rey feels the call to the Light.  It's not a temptation for her like it is for Kylo.  It's more like a sense of purpose regained.  For this prodigal desert princess had lost her way but now she has been found.  Today, Rey has been born again in the Light and the Force is with her.

 

She has spent hours trying to understand why ordinary people on Coruscant refuse to live under the rule of Kylo Ren.  Along the way, Rey has unexpectedly learned that she too refuses to live with Kylo Ren.  It's a different situation and for different reasons, but at core the issue is the same:  she rejects Kylo's vision of the future for different values.  Rey understands now why teachers, transport drivers, and professors on Coruscant take up arms for a lost cause.  And now, she too decides to fight Kylo Ren.  She's no Resistance ideologue who will volunteer to fight for the abstract cause of freedom, but she will fight for her own freedom.  She will fight for the chance to determine her own future separate and apart from this Sith.  Rey of Jakku doesn’t go looking for conflict, and she runs from more fights than she joins.  But today, she will fight and she’s going to shoot first. 

 

Grimly determined, Rey lights her sword.  Then swings.


	68. Chapter 68

Kylo leaps back from the blue blade that slashes at him.  “What the fuck, Rey??” he complains.  She’s got his attention now.  Kylo opens his right palm to call his own sword hilt into it.  It’s strictly a defensive precaution.  Kylo keeps his saber unlit because has no intention of dueling with Rey today.  Scowling at her, Kylo now commands, “That’s a real sword, Rey, turn it off!  You will hurt yourself.  Turn. It. Off.”

 

Rey hasn’t swung again, but she’s poised in classic ready position as she backs towards the door.  “Just let me go and no one gets hurt,” she warns.  Her tone is all business, like she’s the scavenger girl back on Jakku negotiating with Unkar Plutt.  And not his beloved princess who kisses him goodbye in the morning before he heads to the bridge.

 

“What has gotten into you?” Kylo demands.  He’s confused and hurt.  “You stand here whining about my violence and now you pull a sword on me?  Who’s the violent one now?   Turn that thing off and start telling me what the fuck is going on!”  She owes him an explanation.  And a good one.  This is not how he had expected this day to go.

 

“I am leaving you,” Rey vows again in a determined tone that gives him pause.  For through the Force, Kylo can feel the intent behind her words.  “I am leaving you now and don’t try to stop me.”

 

“But I gave you what you want!” Kylo snarls out his exasperation.  “You can stay here at the castle by yourself and you don’t have to be my Empress.  Are there more demands?  What else do you want?”  Kylo is annoyed to be negotiating against himself.   She needs to tell him what’s really going on.  Because he can’t solve this problem unless he knows what it is.

 

“I want to be free!” Rey cries dramatically like some Resistance captive.  Or like his late terrorist mother at her most media savvy.  “I’ll never be free if I’m married to you!“

 

Huh?  This isn’t making sense to him.  “Rey, I don’t limit what you do,” he counters following her closely as she backs out the door and into the hallway.  “You have security purely for your own protection.   Because there’s a war going on and someone might want to hurt you.  You answer to no one but me.  And you can have anything you want at your beck and call.  Trust me, Rey, you are far more free to determine your own life than most people in the galaxy.  People with bills to pay and mouths to feed and a job.  You have no idea how much freedom you have compared to the average citizen.”

 

Rey doesn’t see it that way.  She starts spitting out more personal rejection.  “It’s you, Kylo!  I want to be free from you!”  And fuck, those words hurt coming from Rey.

 

“What has brought this on?” he demands, still puzzled by this turn of events.   How has he been blindsided like this?   He thought that things were going so well.  “Did that guy Dameron get in your head?  Because I don’t understand why you pull a sword on me when I show up here trying to help.”  Kylo is trying to stay patient, but he’s growing indignant at her treatment of him.  Why is she doing this after all he’s done for her?

 

His words must get through because Rey lowers her sword and stops walking.   Her brow is furrowed and she looks miserable and resigned.  Seeing his girl so dejected takes some of the heat out of his anger.

 

“Tell me, Rey,” Kylo urges softly.  He’s clamping down hard on his temper now.  Wanting to be calm so that she will open up.  He knows it’s hard for his girl to talk about how she feels.  Rey has never had a confidante so she bottles things up inside out of long habit.  And that’s hard for an emotive Sith like himself to understand.  But he’s trying.  “Rey, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“I never should have come back with you after Canto Bight.  I see that now,” she admits, looking away as she gulps in air.  Rey has a desperate and panicky look about her.  Like a woman who is acting rashly and knows it.  But she can’t or won’t stop herself.  “I was drunk and not thinking straight and we—you—“  Rey’s voice trails off before she resumes again.  “But I guess it helped me finally to realize that you’re not the man I want you to be.  You will never be that man.  That’s why I can’t marry you.”  She lifts sad eyes to his.  “Kylo, we are all wrong for each other.”

 

What?  “That's not true and you know it.” He dismisses her words outright. 

 

Rey is looking at him bleakly.   And now she has tears in her eyes.  “Kylo, I have been trying to tell you this, but you aren't listening--”  

 

“You haven't told me anything except that you wanted a break from war.”  And he had given her that break, just like she wanted. 

 

“I wanted a break from you too!   Kylo, being here at the castle has helped me see more clearly.  We are all wrong together.”

 

“Why?”  He’s heard enough generalities.  He still doesn’t know the problem.  “What’s so wrong about us?”

 

“I can’t live with your Darkness.”

 

Kylo shoots her a cold look.  “I’m a Sith, Rey.  That’s nothing new.  It’s pretty damn late for you to be complaining about that.  And don’t pretend that you aren’t drawn to my Darkness like I am drawn to your Light--“

 

She cuts him off.  “This isn’t working!  You said that if this didn’t work out, then we would go our separate ways.  Well, I’m leaving now and moving on.”

 

He had said that, hadn’t he?  And he had meant it at the time.  But not any longer.  Kylo has no intention of letting Rey go.  She’s far too important to him and to his future.  And he doesn’t have time to spend chasing her halfway across the galaxy just because they had a lovers’ spat and she’s nervous about commitment.  “We were working just fine until you came here—“

 

“This isn’t working!” Rey overrides him again.  She’s resumes backing away now, sword raised and ready.  They are down one hallway and into another.  Room by room, Rey is working her way back to the castle entrance.  He stalks her closely all the way.  “This is all I've been thinking about for days, Kylo.  Since before Naboo.  This isn’t working for me.”

 

“Then you haven’t tried hard enough,” he accuses.  “Stay, and let’s work this out.  We’ll try having you live here away from the war like you proposed.”

 

But Rey’s not going for it.  “More time here alone is not going to change my mind.”  Rey shakes her head and brandishes her sword again.  “I'm not signing up to be some long suffering Sith wife, stuck with you forever until someone kills me.   And then you stash me in a tomb in your temple.  Kylo, I don’t want to live forever and I don’t want to rule the galaxy.”

 

“There are no normal lives for Force-users,” he reminds her.  They’ve been over this before. 

 

“Fine.  But I want more than you!   I deserve better than you!”

 

Seriously?  Kylo scoffs.  He’s truly annoyed now.  He can give Rey any material possession, make her his Empress, and give her eternal life.  But apparently, that is still is not enough.  It’s an age-old question, but frustrating all the same:  what the fuck do women want?   Because in his experience, it’s rarely what they say.  And answering that riddle may prove far more elusive than finding balance to the Force, he thinks.

 

Has he been so focused on ending his war that Rey has slipped away without him even realizing it?  When did he lose her?   Or was she never really his in the first place?  Kylo has asked himself this before and ruefully he recognizes the truth.   Rey has never been his.  And no matter how hard he tries, she never will be.  All because of fucking Jakku.  He has tried to be patient and understanding but he has his limits.  All her vitriol stings and Kylo Ren has never taken rejection well.  Probably because he’s had so much of it through the years. 

 

“You want to trade up from me?” he rasps.  “You think you can do better than me?”

 

“Yes.”  She is defiant.

 

“I am the richest, most powerful man in all the galaxy,” he boasts.  “I am a Sith Master and the Supreme Leader of the galaxy.  You will never do better than me,” he informs her plainly.  Plus, he’s the prince of Alderaan and he’s a Skywalker, for crying out loud.  Who is she kidding?  “You can never do better than me.”

 

“Yes, I can.”  Rey looks thoroughly convinced.  That pisses him off even more.  “I will find a good man to love.”

 

And that’s a joke, as far as he is concerned.  Because Rey’s fear of intimacy is what’s behind her panicky flight here to Mustafar and her irrational rejection of marriage.  This isn’t about him, he consoles himself.  It’s about her.  “You can't love,” he sneers.  “You are fucked up, Rey.  Jakku has you so fucked up that you will never be happy.  You think the answer is to run from me but you can’t run from yourself.”

 

“It's not that I can't love.  It's that I can't love you!”  Ouch, that hurt.  And Rey keeps going.  Repeating her ugly, demoralizing words from before.  “You're not worthy of love!   If you are lonely when I’m gone, then look in the mirror.  It's your own fault.”   Her face hardens as she shouts loud enough to rouse the household, “You’re half-insane, Kylo!   If there weren’t a war going on to excuse your murders, you would be in jail.”

 

“I am not a criminal,” he spits out through gritted teeth.  He is a war hero of the First Order.  Yes, his measures can be harsh, but he is the strongman ruler the galaxy needs right now to unify it.   And his violence always has a purpose, Rey knows that.  For a girl from Jakku who wanted to beat him with her stick when they first met, Rey has sure gone soft on violence. 

 

She keeps backing away.  They are outside of the castle now and onto the landing pad.  Soon, they have an audience of six trooper guards who rush over en masse to investigate.  No doubt wondering what Kylo Ren is doing barefoot wearing only pants on the landing platform as he chases down his would-be sister-wife.  Rey is dressed in a sheer black peignoir and waving a blue laser sword and shouting uncomfortably personal things that he would rather others don’t hear.  “Stand down,” Kylo immediately waves the guards away.  He doesn’t need any troopers getting trigger happy and worsening this situation.  This is just a domestic dispute with his skittish girlfriend that has escalated too far.  It’s nothing he can’t handle for himself.

 

Rey sees his caution and decides to use it for her advantage.  He can tell that she’s about to make a run for her ship.  Well, Kylo is not about to let that happen.  He ignites his own sword now with the familiar double snap hiss.  He raises it to her eye level and it stops Rey in her tracks.  Then he quickly inserts himself between her and the prototype TIE. 

 

“Your destiny lies with me, Rey.  Snoke knew this to be true.” 

 

"No,” Rey shakes her head.  Her chest is heaving with adrenaline.  She’s staring fearfully at the tip of his buzzing sword.  But she’s not the least bit intimidated.  Rey looks resolute in a way that eerily reminds him of Luke Skywalker.  And that’s a bad sign.  “I won’t be dragged deeper into your Darkness.  I will not be your collaborator.  Kylo, we’re over.”

            

He feels Rey summon the Force and effortlessly he blocks her attempt at a Force-push.  Then she goes in for a Force-freeze and he blocks that too.  And now Kylo is exasperated with her unprovoked aggression.  “Stop this!” he demands.  Then he adds a slightly humiliating, “Please!”  This has gone on long enough.  He needs to shut this down before he too starts swinging.  Kylo would steal Rey’s consciousness with the Force if she didn’t have a lit sword in her hand that she might drop to cut her foot off.  And he would freeze her if he hadn’t already taught her how to extricate herself.  The last thing he needs is a Force-freeze that doesn’t completely take and then she topples over with that lit sword in her hand to impale herself.  And so in a softer, conciliatory tone, Kylo outright begs, “Rey, you’re breaking my heart.  Stop!  Stop now and come back inside.  I love you!”

 

It's true, she is breaking his heart.  All her repeated rejections throughout their history together seem to have culminated in this unexpected argument and it's like she has skewered his soul.  Rey is the only woman he has ever cared about, the only woman he will ever love, and she wants to leave him.  He has planned his future around her and she is his destiny in the Force.  This is the girl who will help him rule an Empire and find balance.  Except she wants to leave him.  Gods, how this hurts.   It is both a betrayal and a disappointment of momentous proportions. 

 

It feels like Snoke dying all over again. 

 

Except this situation Kylo has control over.  He can stop this.  He refuses to let this happen.  For his sake and for the sake of the galaxy.  They will simply have to work this out.  So when Rey boldly steps forward towards him, Kylo and his sword do not fall back.  Because he’s not letting her leave him. 

 

“Rey, you can't leave me.”  Please don’t leave me, he thinks to himself.  For he can’t live without this woman.   That’s how much Rey means to him.  And, oh Gods, is this happening?  This feels like this is really happening.  All around him, he senses the Force in sudden erratic turmoil.   Kylo the star student of Darth Plagueis instantly recognizes that this means imminent, life-altering change.  And that knowledge makes him both panic and rage.  “You don't get to leave me!  You can never leave me!” 

 

“Kylo, this is better than a lifetime of unhappiness together.”  Rey is the calm one now as Kylo’s emotions boil over out of control.  He’s an emotional Sith and he feels.  Oh, how he feels.   And right now he feels rejected and desperate and humiliated. 

 

“We're not unhappy!” he maintains indignantly.

 

“I am unhappy!”  Rey gives him a hard look.  Then she starts placating him.  “Look, Kylo, you know that I will always care for you.  Truly, I will.  But we would make each other miserable over time.  We are different people with different values and it won’t work.“

 

She cares for him.  After all their time together, she will admit only to caring for him.  It’s something at least, but it’s also defeating.  For it is so hard to reach his emotionally remote Rey.  Loving this woman is a bit like banging his head against the wall over and over again.   And, yes, they have their differences.  But that’s okay because those differences are what makes them special and over time that’s what they will learn to balance.   Plus, he has always thought that his love for Rey can supersede any political difference.    Because she is that fundamental for him. 

 

“I have never asked you to join my cause, only to join me—“  To be loyal to me, he thinks.  To love me before any ideology.  And that’s not too much to ask.  After all, his girl has never been much for politics. 

 

“Kylo, you and the First Order are one and the same!”  Rey takes a deep breath and informs him, “We had a deal.  I get to move on, remember?”

 

“You didn't try hard enough.  You didn't keep your end of the bargain.”   Fuck, he sounds like he’s whining now.  He kind of is.  Because it feels like his life is crumbling around him.  First he loses Snoke and now he’s losing Rey.  It’s too much.  He refuses to end up alone.  He won’t let her walk away because she momentarily got cold feet thanks to Jakku and that mouthy Resistance general he killed. 

 

“Oh, I tried.  And I'm done trying.”  Rey’s sword lunges now and it’s a true battle as he easily deflects her swing.  And fuck!  This is what he has been trying to avoid.  He does not want to hurt her.  This girl is precious to him.

 

“I will not fight you, Rey!” he bellows.  “Now disengage!”  She’s wielding an unfamiliar and too long sword.  Plus, she’s half-trained at best and has never used a real sword.  That’s a recipe for an amputation.  Kylo knows he needs to avoid a risky duel. 

 

“Let me go!” Rey snarls as she stays on the offensive.  He’s defending only.  Well, mostly.  In their few short weeks of training, Rey has been a quick study.  She’s far better at lightsaber combat than Kylo would like just now.  But it’s just enough to make Rey dangerous and not enough for her to win.  Already, he could have taken her arm off twice had he wanted.  But he doesn’t.  So Kylo hangs back and bides his time.  Hoping that Rey will tire or her anger will run its course.  Maybe then she will listen to reason. 

 

“We had a deal,” Rey reminds him through gritted teeth.  “Now, step aside!”   She’s every inch the Jakku survivor now.  Focused and honed and deadly serious because she’s playing for keeps. 

 

“I am altering the deal—“ he begins.

 

But she cuts him off.  “So you lied to me??  Did you lie to me at Canto Bight?”

 

Not really.  “You were never supposed to leave me!   We can work this out.  We have to.  There is no alternative, Rey.”  Doesn’t she understand what is at stake here?  His Master would never let a rival Force-user live who wasn't allied to the Sith, Kylo knows.  Snoke would either kill Rey or marry her.  The choice is stark but there isn't an acceptable middle ground between Light and Dark.  Plus, making Rey his prisoner isn’t feasible and it will only make things worse, he knows.   And, fuck!  The whole point of their relationship is that it is mutual.  That there is a give and take and that’s how they will live as life partners who together will find balance.  Kylo doesn’t want to compel her love.  He wants her to choose him.  But Rey never does.  And she definitely won’t if she is his prisoner.   Fuck!   Ruefully, he admits that he’s always been way more into Rey than she has been into him.  Time and again, she keeps rejecting him.  And it hurts. 

 

“You don't get to leave me!” he vows.  Because please, Rey.  Don’t leave me.  Never leave me.

 

She flashes him a knowing look, full of contempt.  “Never trust a Sith, right?  I knew better than to believe you.  But I did anyway.  I have been such a fool,” Rey says bitterly.  “Everyone warned me about you, but I was fool anyway.”

 

Kylo switches tactics now.  He’ll play up the sister angle and not the wifey bit.  “Rey, turn that sword off.  We are not enemies, we are family.”  If he can just get her to turn the sword off, he can freeze her and knock her out.  And then they can continue this argument someplace without an audience and without swords.  “I will not fight you.  You are my family.”

 

But Rey is not in a sentimental mood.  “Is that what you told Luke Skywalker?” she jeers.  “Because I know how you treat your family, Kylo.”

 

“If you are not with me, Rey, then you are my enemy,” he quotes the maxim he learned as a teenaged Sith Apprentice.  It’s a warning she needs to heed.  “Now, disengage.  I do not want you for my enemy.”

 

“I’m not your enemy.  I’m your ex-girlfriend,” Rey informs him as she comes in fast from the right.  Her sword is a streak of blue coming at him.  As he parries the blow, Rey just piles on.  “You are your own worst enemy, Kylo.  But, you’re too blinded by your own ambitions to see it.”

 

Rey is not getting this.  “If you have the Force, you either join the Sith or you die, Rey.  Those are the rules since long before Snoke.   It's why I had to surrender you to him after Kardura.  It's why he gave you a choice to call him Master with a sword to your throat.  Because you cannot live in opposition to me.  I will not let new Jedi rise.”

 

“I'm not a Jedi,” Rey scoffs as she takes another wild swing at him.   Her movements are reckless and coarse.  Like she is slashing and hacking away.  This is not lightsaber combat.  It’s more like a free-for-all melee.  Snoke would be aghast.  “I turned Luke Skywalker down for Jedi training,” she prods him. “Remember?” 

 

But in this, Kylo sees no compromise.  “You are the Light.   And you are powerful.  I can’t let you walk away from me.”   He hasn’t spent years angling to rule the galaxy only to have the resurgent Light Side snatch it from him.  And Rey just might do it.  She has that much potential.  With the right training, this woman could be enormously powerful. 

 

Rey is unpersuaded.  “I just want to move on with my life and be happy.  I don't want to start a revolution.  And I don’t want to fight over the Force.  You know that!  Now, let me go!"  She looks truly distressed now, like she’s fighting tears.  “Kylo, you promised that you would let me go,” she wails.  “If you truly love me, you need to let me go.”

 

"No," he says simply.  He is the last of the Chosen Ones, he is supposed to bring balance to the Force, not lead it deeper into Darkness.  But that all depends on Rey.  Rey the scavenger princess who has broken his heart and threatens to ruin his future.  How dare she walk out on him and her responsibilities?   How dare she deny him and the galaxy the balance they have waited so long for?  Kylo stands his ground now, sword raised and unwavering. 

 

"I'm warning you, Kylo."

 

No, he’s warning her.  "Stand down, Rey.  Turn that sword off!  I don't want to hurt you."   For as Rey is tiring and feeling more frustrated, her saber form is increasingly ragged.  More dangerous.  And with that too long sword, she’s taking foolish risks.  Does Rey know how close she just came to taking her own ear off?   Just watching Rey makes Kylo nervous for her.   “I will not fight you!” Kylo decrees yet again, dropping his sword to his side to disengage.

 

He is unwise to lower his defenses because Rey takes full advantage.  She must disbelieve his words about quitting the fight because Rey tries now to knock the sword from his grip.  It's a wild swing with a sword that is too long for her, but there's no such thing as luck so the Force must be with her. For though Rey's disarming pass is clumsy and fails to rip the sword from his grasp, it succeeds nonetheless when it roughly severs his right hand. 

 

"Ahhhhhh!" He cries out at the injury, staring first at the stump of his arm and then at his twitching hand on the pavement still clutching his sword.  The pain is instantaneous and sharp.   Very sharp.  It takes his breath away.  But true Sith that he is, Kylo just breathes through the pain, internalizing it to focus.  Because is Rey going in for the killing blow next?  Kylo stands poised and ready to elude her next swing should his erstwhile beloved be determined to strike him down.

 

But no, she isn’t.  It’s like time stands still now as Rey stares at his wound, stunned and repulsed by what she has done.  "Ooh," she breathes out, dropping her own sword to clatter to the pavement and deactivate harmlessly.  “Oh, Kylo,” she stammers, looking both shocked and confused.   “Oh, I’m so s-sorry . . . “  She takes a half step towards him and then hesitates.  Long seconds pass before Rey thinks better of it, collects herself, and starts running headlong past him for her waiting TIE. 

 

And that’s the moment that finally convinces him.

 

"Stop her!"  Kylo howls out to the troopers he had ordered to stand down.  "Fire!"   Because he's not letting her leave him.  If Rey will not stay of her own accord, then she will die for the hurt she has done to him.  For breaking his heart and taking his hand.  For utterly and completely betraying their love.  He has been a fool for this woman and see now what he has wrought.  Kylo girds himself to come to his senses.  To act a true Sith where Rey is concerned.  Yes, Darth Ren decides as he watches her fleeing form, he will do what must be done.  He will not hesitate and he will show no mercy.  It’s what Darth Plagueis would expect of him.  It’s what Darth Vader would have done if his Padme had lived to reject him. 

 

The gawking troopers belatedly open fire on Rey's retreating form but she disappears into the cockpit unharmed.  And now the TIE's shields are up and their blaster fire bounces off harmlessly.   The state of the art prototype ship lifts off in seconds and now Rey is aloft and disappearing fast.  Heading for the shield gate with her automatic security clearance that won't even require her to slow down.  "Scramble some fighters and shoot her down!" Kylo roars as he clutches what’s left of his right arm.  He can’t believe this has happened.  "Shoot her down!"  he rages.  “Shoot her down!”

 

Beside him, the lead trooper begins relaying his orders to the command post.  As Kylo pants through the pain and shrugs off offers of help, the trooper starts narrating the chase aloud.  “Shield gate closing, Sir.  Two minutes maximum for closure.  Five fighters already scrambling to intercept and five more soon to launch.” 

 

Kylo nods as he hears the trooper’s words but he has trouble processing their meaning.  Because fuck!  She has left him.  Rey has cut off his hand and she has left him.  Lightsaber wounds are primarily burns and so his ragged stump is cauterized and not bleeding.  But it burns deep and harsh, like her ugly words and her crushing betrayal.   It is the ultimate rejection.  His heart feels destroyed.  There are not tears enough to express this pain.

 

The trooper keeps up his play-by-play.  “They've engaged.  She's taking heavy fire now, Sir.  We’ll get her.”

 

They had better kill that bitch.   Kylo had been a fool not to fully engage with her himself.  Then he would have had the satisfaction of killing her personally.  For Rey would have been no match for a fully trained Sith lord swinging to kill.

 

“She's through the shield gate now but she’s hit.” 

 

Good.  “Destroyed or disabled?” he rasps and the trooper listens a moment over his helmet comlink.

 

“Disabled, Sir.” 

 

“Intercept her before she hits the lava fields,” Kylo orders.   “Vaporize her!”  He wants his Rey gone in an instant with no pain.  Not burning to death in agony like his grandfather.  Since he must execute his beloved, Kylo will give her the same humane dignity he gives prisoners of war.  A swift, clean death.

 

“She's not going down,” the trooper reports.  “The ship is still flying.  Blind with shields down.  Left wing mostly destroyed.”

 

“She'll be in a spin in no time.  Vaporize her before she hits the surface,” Kylo commands.

 

“No spin.  She's--  Copy that?  Are you sure?”  The trooper goes silent a long moment.  “Do you have more than just visual confirmation?”

 

“Report,” Kylo orders, fully expecting to hear that Rey is dead.  She went into a spin and crashed headlong into the lava fields.  His beloved Rey is dead.  Melting to become one with the Force in the river of lava that flows through his castle.

 

“Sir, she just made the jump to lightspeed.”

 

Lightspeed?  What??  Fuck!  She’s gotten away.  But not for long.  “Track her!  She didn't have time to calculate a jump. She must have used something preprogrammed.”   Kylo thinks a moment.  “Alert the _Finalizer_.   She must be headed there.   She must have just reversed her original jump.”  He thinks a moment.  “There must be a tracking device on that ship.  Find it!”

 

“Yes, Sir.  We’ll get her, Sir.”


	69. Chapter 69

Rey comes awake slowly as she hears a persistent buzz.  It's the ship's reversion alarm.  Soon, she will drop out of lightspeed into Force knows where. 

 

Rey had been desperate to escape the dogfight above Mustafar.   She had already taken out two of her pursuers when she herself had been hit.   The damage from the cannon shot that pierced her left wing was considerable.  It had taken all of her piloting skills to avoid a spin.  But still, Rey had been outnumbered eight to one at the end.  A jump to lightspeed had been her only chance at survival.   And so Rey had hoped for the best and blindly chosen the only pre-programmed location on the navicomputer that wasn't the _Finalizer_ or Mustafar.  Then, just as her ship was making the unknown jump, she had been hit again.   And that's the last thing Rey remembers. 

 

That was hours ago. 

 

Where is she heading?  Rey starts poking at the navicomputer frantically.  It's slow to respond, making Rey worry it's damaged and she could be jumping anywhere.   Finally, the navicomputer posts its response.  She is jumping to Kuat in the Core at a slow clip, barely above true lightspeed.  Her stolen ship is headed back to the famed Kuat Drive Yards where had been built.  Where this prototype TIE must have originated its inaugural jump on the way to Coruscant for delivery to the _Finalizer_. 

 

Satisfied she isn't flying right through a star or too close to a supernova, Rey starts inventorying the damage.  She starts with herself.  Rey raises a tentative hand to her right temple and feels at dried blood and matted hair.  Recoil from the hit to her left wing had slammed Rey hard to the right.  And since there had been barely enough time to strap herself into the cockpit seat and not a moment to spare to put on a helmet, the impact had left its mark on Rey.  Her cheek feels bruised and her head throbs. Luckily, the cut under her hair doesn't feel deep, but it has bled a lot to drip down her face.   No doubt she has a concussion since she clearly has been unconscious a long time.  But otherwise, Rey seems to be in okay shape. 

 

Thankful that she's alive and in one piece, Rey now turns her attention to the ship.  Troubleshooting the TIE turns out to be far less encouraging than surveying her own hurts.  Life support is working, but that's about it.  Her sublight engines appear fried.  So does much of her communications equipment.  With increasing alarm, Rey completes diagnostics on all major systems and the grim picture becomes clear.   When she exits hyperspace in a matter of minutes, she will be drifting disabled in normal space.    Completely defenseless with no functioning shields, weapons systems, or engines.  Survivor Rey takes a deep breath as she realizes that neither fight nor flight will be an option now.

 

Minutes later, her TIE drops out of hyperspace just outside Kuat’s orbit and begins drifting close to the famous shipyards.  The gargantuan Kuat Drive Yards superstructure encircles the planet like an enormous exoskeleton of scaffolding.  All around, for as far as the eye can see, there are spacecraft of all shapes and sizes in varying states of construction and repair.  Quite a few of them, Rey sees with alarm, are First Order models.  

 

She will be a sitting duck for when her pursuers arrive.  And they are coming, she knows.  For this ship, like all First Order ships, has an embedded tracking device that broadcasts her position to the First Order at all times while in normal space.  If this were a shuttle or some other form of transport, Rey might be able to discover the transponder and deactivate it.  But in the cramped cockpit space of a single seat TIE fighter, there is no extraneous space to include tools.  And besides, most of the TIE mechanics are on the exterior.  Even if Rey had the tools and the time, it’s very likely that disabling the transponder, like making the necessary engine repairs, will require her to access the ship from the outside.  In the cold, dark vacuum of space, that’s not currently an option.   Neither is escape.  TIEs are small disposable ships, meant for combat and routine patrol.  They do not have escape pods. 

 

That means Rey will have to get rescued.  And to do that, she has to get the communications systems functioning again.  Ripping off the control panel and ignoring the sparking equipment that singes her fingers, Rey sets to work hotwiring the distress signal.  If she can just get it activated, there are plenty of people close by to hear her.  But she doesn’t have much time before the First Order arrives.  After a few failed attempts, Rey despairs of getting the distress signal working.  He head is fuzzy and her fingers are slippery from panic and nerves.

 

Suddenly, the TIE lurches hard.  And then starts to move.   There are no new ships around as far as Rey can tell.  What’s going on?  It takes a minute for her to realize that the TIE is caught in a tractor beam being pulled into the shipyards.  Is she being rescued?  Rey powers down the remaining working systems and waits wide-eyed as the TIE is gently tugged forward and into an enormous staging area.  It’s something like a floating hangar amid the shipyards.   It’s brightly lit and full of ships and personnel, Rey sees as she passes through the airlock.  With a lurch and a loud clang, the TIE is unceremoniously dumped to the hangar floor.  Evidently, the repulsolifts no longer work either.

 

Several curious men in bright yellow Kuat Corp. mechanics coveralls and hardhats approach the ship.  Amazingly enough, none of them bothers to look in the cockpit. They are all busy inspecting the damage, clearly assuming this ship is unmanned.  Taking advantage of their distraction, Rey quietly pops the canopy a little.  She peeks around to see if she can slip out unseen and listens carefully to their conversation.

 

A voice calls and it's not talking to her.  "Tran, this ship you towed in didn't break free under construction.  Someone shot this down.  Look at that carbon scoring and strafe damage.  And this wing was split with a ventral cannon.  What the Hell happened here?"

 

Another voice joins the mix.  "This is Biggs' new design, isn't it?   I think I recognize this wing module.”  The voice lets loose a low whistle.  “If this ship is what I think it is, then this sure is an expensive prototype for someone to use for target practice.   Those damned weapons guys . . .   Are they messing with us again?"

 

A voice of authority now speaks up. "Someone alert Biggs' team.   Now.  His guys need to see this.  Heads are gonna roll over this."  

 

The group of men go back to chatting about the damage and speculating about the consequences.  Rey sits tight, waiting for the men to lose interest.  Now is not the time to pop out and announce herself, she decides.  Once these guys go back to work in a minute or two, she will slip out and attempt to make a run for it.  She doesn't have long, Rey guesses, before she is tracked here and the First Order shows up.   Precious time keeps ticking by.  But there’s no sense in popping out now to get caught immediately and then be handed over to Kylo’s men. 

 

Rey busies herself unstrapping from the seat as quietly as possible when one of the Kuat men wanders around to the front of the TIE for a look.  He stops to stare blinking up at her.  "Uhhhh . . . guys . . . "

 

She’s caught.   The game is up. 

 

And now it’s not just three guys and their supervisor blinking up at her in the cockpit.  It’s three more men striding up fast to join them.  The man at the forefront of the new group wears a hardhat but not a jumpsuit.  Everything about his demeanor just screams boss.   As he approaches, the first group steps aside respectfully and the boss takes off the hardhat.  He looks very familiar, but Rey can’t place him.

 

“Come out.  Now,” the boss orders, looking very irritated.

 

Rey raises the canopy fully now and does as she is told.  Sliding and jumping down the last bit to the ground.  There is a moment of silence as all seven men stare at the pretty young woman in the expensive black negligee with the bruised and bloody face.   Rey doesn't quite comprehend what a strange and dramatic entrance she makes climbing out of the mangled TIE fighter.  But she quickly realizes what a risqué appearance she presents.  For no one is staring at her face.  They are all staring at her breasts semi-visible through the sheer material.  Thank goodness she has panties on, Rey realizes, as she hurriedly crosses her arms over her chest.

 

“I can explain,” Rey begins, furiously attempting to think up a good lie.  But her head is throbbing and thinking straight takes more effort than usual.  Plus, that little hop to the ground had made her head feel worse. 

 

The boss guy apparently has looked at more than her breasts, for he steps forward now to tell her, “I know you.   I never forget a face.  I know you from somewhere.  Where?”

 

Rey blinks back at him, struggling to place why she too finds the handsome dark skinned human man so familiar.  “Yeah . . . I know you too . . . ” she admits.

 

“You're the Exile girl in the bar at Canto Bight!” the man exclaims suddenly.    

 

And that’s it.  Yes, this was the guy she and Cesi had been talking with before Kylo had walked up.  The engineer from Kuat.  What was his name?  Rey can’t remember.  She was too drunk that night.  “Yes,” she confirms and then offers up her name.  “Rey.” 

 

“You’re the girl who was pounding Resistance drinks.”  The engineer is frowning at her.  “What are you doing here?   Looking like that and flying this ship?  This is my latest prototype.”

 

Rey take a deep breath, searching for a way out of this situation.  But as she hesitates, the engineer gives her the opening she needs.

 

“Yeah . . . you’re the girl with the jealous boyfriend,” he remembers aloud more details of the evening.  “The bartender was going to call security on him.”

 

“Ex-boyfriend,” Rey speaks up.  “He’s my ex-boyfriend now.”

 

The engineer nods at this, taking in her battered face.  “Are you in trouble, Rey?   You look like you’re in trouble.”

 

“Yes.  Yes, I am.  I’m in trouble and I need help.”  She is in terrible trouble and it’s getting worse as the seconds tick by.   

 

Something in the way she says this gets through to the engineer.  He turns now to an underling.  “Get me security.”  Then he orders to the rest of the men, “Get back to work.”  As the small crowd disperses, the engineer turns back to Rey.  They are alone now as he shrugs out of his jacket and hands it over.  “Put this on,” he tells her gruffly, as if slightly embarrassed.  “Then start talking.   How did you get this ship?  We delivered it to the First Order flagship just last week.”  

 

“The star destroyer _Finalizer_ ,” Rey confirms.  “It was delivered to the _Finalizer_.”

 

“Yes.  My team designed that one too.   What's going on?  Rey, did you steal this TIE?  You're not mixed up with the Resistance are you?”  Rey realizes that he must be remembering those cheers with the drinks at Canto Bight.

 

“I’m not Resistance,” she hurries to contend.  “I came from the First Order.  I had permission to use the ship.”

 

That’s all sort of true, but the engineer looks unconvinced at her claims.  “Who shot you down?”

 

“The First Order.”

 

“Looks like they were shooting to kill, not to disable.  Why?  They don’t normally shoot down their own people flying their own ships.”

 

“Do you remember that guy at the bar?  My boyfriend?”

 

“Yeah.  He was the guy you left with.  Tall guy with long hair.”

 

“Yes.  He's the one who ordered me shot down.  H-He's a Knight of Ren.” Rey starts spinning an impromptu story with as much truth as possible.  “He was angry because I left him.   For good this time.”  Rey reaches up to poke at her head wound.  It has started bleeding a bit again.  She wipes at a trickle of blood that meanders down her cheek

 

The engineer’s eyes follow her gesture.  He raises an eyebrow and asks, “Did the boyfriend do that?”

 

“Yes,” Rey lies.  And it’s sort of the truth since Kylo no doubt had ordered her shot down.     

 

“So that long faced guy in the bar was a Knight of Ren?” the engineer looks skeptical at her claim.   “Which one?”

 

“The Seventh,” Rey lies without qualms, spitting out the name of the most junior knight.  “Sayeed Hasan.”  She doesn’t dare mention the name Kylo Ren.

 

“Yeah?  And how'd you get the ship, Rey?” 

 

“Kylo Ren gave it to Sayeed and he let me test it out.  I like to fly.”

 

“You like to fly??” the engineer echoes her words with a little sarcastic grunt.  “Do you have any idea how much a prototype like this costs?   Do you know how many credits you just blew?”  The engineer gestures towards the mangled spacecraft behind her.  “She was a beautiful ship and now look at her!” 

 

“Yes, I know.”  Rey steps forward close to the engineer now and starts to plead in a low voice for only him to hear.   “Launch it.  Please.  Launch the ship on autopilot and let the Order blow it up.  They'll be tracking it.   They'll be here any minute.”  

 

“And why would I do that?”

 

“Because then he'll think I'm dead,” Rey hisses out the only plan she can think of on the fly.  “And then I'll finally be away from him.   Please,” she begs.  “The ship is totaled anyway.  Let Sayeed find it and think he’s finished me off.”

 

The engineer shakes his head no.  “I'm not wrecking that TIE before I pull all the databanks for analysis.” 

 

“There's no time for that!” Rey outright wails.  “Please, I need your help.”  Rey has her hand on the engineer’s arm now, and she’s looking up to beseech him.  “Look, I'll tell you everything you want to know.  Please just let him find that ship and finish it.  If he finds me here, he will kill me!”

 

The engineer makes a face at her obvious distress.  Rey can tell she’s making him uncomfortable. “Look, I’m not one to defend violence against women, but I’m not getting in the middle of your domestic dispute.  I’m only worried about this ship.” He frowns past her at the wrecked TIE, still clearly thinking foremost about his data.  “And I need technical read-outs, Rey, not your general recollections.”

 

If it’s data he wants, Rey can give him data.  She starts spewing out information. “It has excellent lateral controls that kept me from a spin,” she begins.  “But the lateral thrust is off and skews to the right.  The drag in planetary atmosphere is considerable.  Maybe if you shorten the wing design at the tip, that will help.  She’s also a bit over-armed.  It’s weapons overkill and that adds to her bulk.  She would be more nimble if you lost that mini-ventral cannon.” 

 

The engineer nods as Rey keeps rattling off her specific impressions of the ship stream of consciousness.  He’s clearly impressed.  “You know your stuff,” he approves. 

 

“Please help me,” Rey implores him.  “I promise to tell you everything I know about your ship.  But please, launch it now!”  The engineer appears to consider her request and Rey begins pressing her case.  “It's the only way I'll ever be free of him.   He’s a man made violent by years of war.  Please.  Just drop the ship back where you found me.  It will be like you never found me.   I’ll disappear and you’ll never see me again . . . “ 

 

* * *

 

 

Fuck, this hurts. 

 

Kylo is in the _Finalizer_ ’s medibay getting fitted with a prosthetic hand.  Supposedly, he is getting the newest medical technology, lightyears ahead of what he remembers old uncle Luke sporting.  But glancing down at the mechanical skeletal claw, Kylo is repulsed.   Great, he's fucking Grievous now. 

 

Chief Healer Smath himself is here to oversee the procedure, even though a Two-One-Bee droid is doing the actual work.   “The nerves are damaged,” the veteran medic tells Kylo in his calm, quiet way.  “Burns like this are actually more painful than battlefield trauma amputations.  Even with the bacta, it will take time for the biologic and synthetic nerves to knit together and to graft onto the prosthetic.  You will experience intermittent pain and phantom sensations during this time.  That is normal.” 

 

Whatever.  Nothing about this feels normal.  Because fuck, this hurts. 

 

“All in all, the healing process for a wound like this can take six months or more,” the old healer summarizes.  “But it will improve week by week.  In the end, you should have complete function and sensation like before.  If you want, we can graft living tissue onto the prosthetic.  It gives a more normal appearance, but it is not necessary.”

 

“Leave it as is,” Kylo snarls.  It hurts enough now that he just wants this over.  He doesn’t want the droid to poke at him further.  Because fuck, this hurts. 

 

Lieutenant Mitaka appears to tentatively poke his head into the exam room.   Kylo waves him in.  Nestor Ren follows close on Mitaka’s heels as the nervous young man presents himself to salute.  “Report,” Kylo snarls.

 

“My lord, the ship has been located.  It dropped out of hyperspace minutes ago outside the orbit of Kuat.   We have visual from a hacked local security cam."  Mitaka offers him a datapad with a grainy transmission showing the missing ship.  Kylo accepts the datapad awkwardly with his left hand.  "The ship is disabled and appears non-functioning beyond basic life support.   We have deployed a cruiser nearby to intercept it.  It should be easy to tow it in.” 

 

“No,” Kylo decides as he stares at the photograph displayed on the datapad screen. "Destroy it."

 

At his order, Nestor Ren looks over sharply to catch his eye.  But the always discrete Nestor says nothing in front of the others.

 

"Destroy it," Kylo repeats with more conviction.  Yes, he is committed to follow through with the original plan.  "Make it quick and do it decisively.  Send back visual confirmation.”

 

“Yes, my lord,” Mitaka nods and turns to depart.

 

"Kylo--"  It's Nestor talking.  The big man has put a restraining hand on Mitaka’s arm to keep the nervous lieutenant firmly in place.   "Kylo, are you sure?” his friend asks quietly.  The Second Knight now gives him a hard look.   “Are you sure you want to do this?"

 

Is he sure?   Yes, he's never been more sure of anything in his life.  Because for as much as his hand hurts, his heart hurts far worse.  And Rey needs to suffer for that pain.  Plus, no Sith worth his Darth title would permit a Light Sider trained by a Jedi to live as anything other than an ally.  Rey had shown today that she is definitely not an ally. 

 

Kylo glares at his friend.  He resents this interference.  "She cut my fucking hand off, Nestor."

 

The Second Knight seems to find this inconsequential.  "Stuff like that happens in your family.  You guys are all fucked up."   And while this is true, it’s beside the point.  But Nestor keeps arguing anyway.  "Snoke thought she was the future,” his friend reminds him softly.  “For you and for the Force."

 

Kylo is not in the mood for a lecture on the Force from someone as Force-dead as Nestor Flick.  “Snoke was wrong!” he hisses. 

 

“Grandpa was rarely wrong and you know it!” Nestor argues back.  It’s a rare moment for his normally chill friend to show so much heat. “Snoke would want you to play the long game like he always did.  To look past today's shit for tomorrow's promise.  That was his greatness, Kylo.  Grandpa saw the potential in everyone and in every situation.  He always had multiple angles on every problem and he never acted rashly.   He would want you to take her prisoner and figure out later what to do with her—“

 

"No," Kylo decrees.  "She needs to die.  Never forget that Snoke knew how to punish, Nestor.  She's had more chances than she deserves.  I should have killed that bitch when I found her at the Resistance.  Before Hux.  Before Coruscant.  Before . . . "  Before he loved her.  Well, maybe he had loved her from the beginning.  It had just taken a while to realize it.  But that love is in ruins now and his heart is broken and today his ultimate dream too has died.  For noteworthy as Darth Ren may be, he is not the first Sith to rule the galaxy.  Sidious had done it before him.  And so, ruling the galaxy was no longer enough of an achievement for Kylo Ren. 

 

Yes, somewhere along the way from the Mid Rim to the Core, his dream had enlarged in scope and Kylo had upped the degree of difficulty.  He would rule the galaxy with Rey by his side, his partner in all things.  This was to be his greatest achievement, the reconciliation of Light to Dark, of Jedi to Sith.  This harmony, this balance, was the dream of his beloved Master.   And this loyal Apprentice had planned to finish what Darth Plagueis had started.  And in the process, he and Rey would continue the Skywalker bloodline and he would find the forever wife to love him.  Rey was the key to it all: to the balance, to his family, and to his happiness.  But that wretched bitch had cut his hand off and ran away.   And now Kylo has only the galaxy as a consolation prize. 

 

“She will pay the price for her lack of vision,” Kylo snarls, refusing to meet Nestor’s eyes.  He doesn’t want his friend to see his eyes wet with unshed tears.  Because this hurts.  Fuck, this hurts.

 

The Second Knight makes one last effort.    “Kylo, don’t make a hasty decision you will regret—“

 

“DESTROY HER!” Kylo bellows over him. “DESTROY HER NOW!”  He knows he has to end this today.  If Rey lives, then there will only be another repeat of her rejection.  And he can’t take any more of her rejection.  He refuses to suffer more disappointment at the whim of this woman.  Rey pushes him away and pulls him back time and again, and like a lovesick fool he tolerates it.  For too long, he has been weak for that ungrateful bitch.  He gives her the galaxy, offers her immortality, and pledges his heart forever.  And that’s still not enough.  She asks the impossible.  Setting naïve standards for a man in his position.  Wanting him to turn his back on all that he is in order to merit her love.  No woman is worth that, he decides.  Even a Sith princess filled with the Light.

 

Kylo shoots Nestor a glare and scowls at Mitaka.  “Dismissed!” he commands the pair.  His orders are clear.  He will debate this point no further. 

 

A dutiful Nestor follows Mitaka out the door and immediately takes the younger man aside. "Wait ten full minutes before you relay that order," Nestor tells the lieutenant when he thinks they are out of earshot.   But they’re not.  Kylo hears it all. 

 

"Are you disobeying orders?" the scandalized Mitaka asks in a too loud voice. 

 

"No.  I'm giving him time to change his mind." Nestor’s response is gruff. 

 

“What’s this all about?  Who’s the woman on the ship?” Mitaka asks now.

 

“It’s his sister.”

 

“Rey??” Mitaka replies.  “But the Princess is at the castle.”

 

"Rey is on the ship stranded outside Kuat,” Nestor corrects him.

 

“Ren is killing his own sister?” Mitaka’s voice is even louder now. 

 

“Do as I say, Lieutenant," the Second Knight warns.  Then the door slides shut and the rest of the conversation is lost to Kylo.

 

Now thoroughly irritated, Kylo turns to the medic droid and demands, “Are you done?”  He wants to get out of here and away to the privacy of his own quarters.  Where no one will see him or bother him.  Because fuck, this hurts.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey stands anxious in the Kuat engineer’s fancy office looking out the panoramic window that displays the surrounding shipyards.  Just beyond the outermost ring of construction and off to the far left from this vantage point drifts her mangled TIE.  It’s bait for Rey’s impromptu scheme to fake her own death.  She’s crossing her fingers that this works. 

 

“I’m giving this ten minutes max before we tow it back in,” Cade Biggs reminds her again.  She has garnered his name from the many mementos and awards that litter his executive suite.  Sure enough, the guy she met while pounding shots in a Canto Bight bar really was the Chief Engineer of the massive Kuat Drive Yards construction conglomerate.  As it turns out, the prototype TIE she stole was his personal project.  And that gives Cade Biggs the unquestioned authority to deal with the totaled ship.  In the end, after a few tears and more details to bolster her cover story, frantic Rey had persuaded Cade to launch the ship.

 

“They’ll be here,” Rey promises softly.  “He’ll come for me.”

 

No sooner have the words left her mouth when an entire squadron of TIEs drops out of hyperspace to immediately obliterate her ship.  Rey takes a deep breath and exhales.  Kylo didn’t disappoint.  She knew that obsessive, possessive Sith would hunt her down.  He said that he loved her but he had not hesitated to kill her.  Yes, the Sith’s love had been a lie all along.

 

Standing at her side watching, Cade Biggs lets out low whistle.  “That's a lot of firepower to chase down some guy's runaway girlfriend.” 

 

“Sayeed is a Knight of Ren.  He answers only to Kylo Ren himself,” Rey doubles down on her lie.  “Those men can do what they want.”  She turns now to her savior engineer.   Looking up into his concerned face, she tells him, “Thank you.  You just saved my life.  I can never thank you enough.”

 

Biggs nods and looks embarrassed.  Even with his dark skin, Rey can see a telltale flush.  “Rey, you’re my good deed for today,” he observes sheepishly.  And something tells Rey that this guy is prone to impulsive good deeds.  She likes that.   She likes him.

 

Biggs looks back at the blank space where the TIE has just been.  “Why does this guy want to kill you so much?   Did you cheat on him?” 

 

Somehow, Rey senses that her answer to this question really matters to Cade Biggs.  So Rey looks him in the eye and answers truthfully, “I didn’t cheat on him.  Sayeed was mad because I wouldn't marry him.  He's a monster.  I should never have gotten involved with him.  But I didn’t see who he truly was until it was too late.  And . . . ” Rey falters before adding weakly, “And I guess I’m not so good at relationships.” 

 

Her engineer friend seems to accept this explanation.  “You got someone to call for help?” he asks now, turning away from the window.  “Maybe that girlfriend you were with at the bar?”

 

“No.  I can’t call Cesi.  Her husband is Nestor Flick.”

 

Cade Biggs blinks.  “That blonde was married to the Second Knight Nestor Flick?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

The engineer raises his eyebrows.  “You're sure well connected, Rey.” 

 

“I . . .er. . . was well connected, yes.  But now I’m supposed to be dead.”  Rey thinks a moment.  “I guess I don’t know anyone any longer.  That life is over now.”  Taking a deep breath, Rey realizes that she is back where she started on Jakku.  “I’m alone now, I guess.”  Alone again.  Destitute and completely responsible for herself again.  Ruefully, Rey realizes that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

 

Biggs looks her over thoughtfully, as if deciding.  Then he offers, “Why don’t you come by my place?  It’s close by.  You need some clothes and my wife left plenty of stuff.  You can choose something to wear and we can clean up that cut on your head.  I probably have a bacta patch somewhere that will hold you until you see a medic.”  She hesitates and Cade points out the obvious as he glances down at her bare feet.  “Rey, you can’t go around looking like that.”

 

He’s right.  She can’t.  “Okay, then.  Thank you.  I’d like that.  And please thank your wife for me.”

 

Biggs looks away.  “She's not my wife, she's my ex.  We're divorced now.  I keep calling her my wife.   It's uh . . . sort of recent.  Anyhow, she took the kids and left the stuff she didn’t want.  It’s mostly a lot of clothes.” 

 

Rey doesn’t know what to say to this.  So she offers up, “Oh.  I’m sorry.”

 

“Yeah,” Biggs sighs.  “Me too.  She said I was married to my job.”  He gives Rey a sympathetic smile.  “I'm not good at relationships either.”

 

“We were all wrong for each other,” Rey speaks aloud of Kylo as she too stares at where the TIE had once been.  This isn't the first brush with death Rey has had, but this one is sobering.  For this was no accident in a wreck or bad luck to have been preyed upon by slavers.  This is someone who she cares about who had wanted to kill her.  Kylo calls her his family and lies to Coruscant that they are brother and sister.  He had wanted her for his wife and pledged his love.  But people who care about you shouldn't want to hurt you, right?  Or is their need to hurt a consequence of how much they care?   All Rey can think is that this is not how families act on the holonet.  And this is never how her fantasies of love had turned out.  Whatever life with Kylo Ren might have been like, Rey doesn't want it.  She is glad to be free.  Kylo is the past now, and not her future. 

 

“I pick the worst guys,” she says softly. 

 

“It sure looks like it.  Do they all want to kill you?” Biggs wants to know.

 

“No.  Just this one.  He’s the vengeful type.”  Kylo is vengeful and controlling and aggressive and possessive.  But also disarmingly understanding and patient at times.  So optimistic and daring, full of romantic ideas and ambitions.  The Kylo she knows is a man with as many good sides as bad ones.  But in the end, Rey knows it would never have worked.  They were all wrong for each other.

 

She comes out of her reverie to find her engineer friend looking at her warily.  “Am I going to regret helping you, Rey?” Biggs asks point blank.

 

“He thinks I’m dead now.  I have no incentive to change that,” Rey reminds him. 

 

“Good point.  Well, alright, let’s get going.  We need to make this quick because I have meetings this afternoon.”  Cade digs into his pocket.  “In case I forget later, here take this.”  He hands her a couple of credit cards.   “You'll need this.”  She hesitates again at his generosity and he urges, “Go on. I got lots of problems, Rey, but credits aren't one of them.”

 

“Okay, thanks,” Rey says as she accepts the cards.  “Cade, what I really need is a job.  Are they hiring here?  I’m a mechanic.  And a good one,” she says hopefully. 

 

“A mechanic?  Really?”  Biggs looks skeptical.  Maybe it's her pristine manicure.  But he sidesteps that issue entirely and gets right to the point.  “Look, Rey, you're also a girl some Knight of Ren wants dead.  The First Order is our best customer.  We can't risk ticking them off by hiring you.  What if this guy found out and complained about us to Kylo Ren?  Or even to Leader Snoke?  The company could lose its contracts.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Rey concedes.  “I hadn’t thought about it that way.”

 

Biggs looks sheepish now.  “Hey, I'm a company guy, Rey.  It's what got me divorced.  Plus, I play by the rules.”

 

Yes, Rey definitely likes Cade Biggs.  He’s a loyal guy who plays by the rules and helps people in need.  She shouldn’t be involving him deeper.  But this guy has been so nice and helpful, that it’s worth a shot.  “The First Order thinks I'm dead,” she reminds him again.  “They will never know to look for me here.  It would just be temporary until I can save up some cash.”  She looks at the credit cards in her hand.  “That way, I could pay you back.”

 

Biggs considers this a moment.   Then he ushers her out of his office.  “Well, come on.  On our way to the apartment, you can tell me what you can do.”

 

* * *

 

 

Nestor is the one to bring him the news.  Kylo is in his quarters alone meditating with his grandfather's helmet.  It’s the only place in his rooms that is devoid of evidence of Rey.  Plus, sitting with this most personal of relics always calms him.  Sometimes it even brings on visions in the Force.  But not today. 

 

Today, Kylo receives no wisdom, only solace.  For he comforts himself with the certain knowledge that Lord Vader would understand his actions.  And as a fellow Sith, he would approve.  Lord Vader had killed his Jedi friends and colleagues in pursuit of power, after all.  His grandfather knew what it meant to sacrifice personal feelings for the greater good.  And his grandfather had also known betrayal from someone close to him.  It was his best friend and quasi-brother and not his girl, but Kylo is certain that the pain had stung deep.   

 

Nestor Ren stands a respectful distance off to the side, waiting to be acknowledged.  His longtime friend and colleague knows not to interrupt a Sith at meditation.  Kylo makes him wait extra long today.  Stalling a few additional moments, summoning control to clamp down on his feelings.  For Kylo knows why Nestor is here.

 

In a flat tone, he asks, "Do you have confirmation?" 

 

Nestor nods.  His friend is silent as he hands over a datapad, but the Second Knight's unspoken disapproval is communicated loud and clear.  Kylo ignores it.  He taps the datapad to replay the video twice, watching the footage as a TIE takes out Rey's disabled ship.  Vaporizing her instantly.  

 

Kylo takes a deep breath and exhales.  It is done then.

 

"The ship had drifted from the initial coordinates we received," Nestor dutifully reports.  "For a while we lost it off the security camera feed.  But the transponder signal and visual scanning confirm it was the missing ship." 

 

"That's it.  That’s the ship."  Kylo has no doubt.  The distinctive design is unmistakable.

 

"They didn't scan for life forms," Nestor continues, explaining, "They thought it unnecessary."

 

"It was unnecessary," Kylo agrees. "There are no escape pods on that ship.”

 

“Plus, there was no distress signal broadcasting for rescue," Nestor adds.  “I doubt anyone but us knew she was there.”

 

“Good.”

 

"Then mission completed," Nestor concludes solemnly.  There is an awkward silence before he adds, "May the Force be with her."

 

When Kylo makes no comment, Nestor abruptly grabs back the datapad.  "You're an asshole, Kylo," Nestor tells him bitterly.  "You're a complete fucking asshole.   And you're gonna be a lonely one now too."  

 

Kylo ignores this outburst.  “Have her wiped from the archives,” he commands.  “Tell PR and the Communications group to erase all evidence of Princess Renata Palpatine,” he orders.  “No newsfeed footage, no holonet footprint, no press releases.  Nothing searchable.”

 

“So now you’re gonna pretend she didn’t exist?” Nestor growls.

 

“Publicly, she never existed.”   And for a Skywalker Sith like Kylo Ren, this is a fate worse than death.  For it's one thing to die but another thing to die forgotten.  To not have mattered.   As of today, Rey will begin and end her life in anonymous obscurity. 

 

Nestor stomps away in a huff, and Kylo turns back to Vader's mask.  "Show me again the power of Darkness," he beseeches his long dead mentor.  For if anyone knew how to channel grief and pain for maximum power, it was his heroic grandfather. 


	70. Chapter 70

_Four Months Later_

 

He is Sith Master Darth Ren, Emperor of the galaxy, and the now publicly acknowledged Supreme Leader of the First Order.  He stands in his mask and in his grandfather's cape before the cameras flanked by his knights and his generals.   Today, a year to the day after the bitter siege of Coruscant had begun, he declares it over and the galactic civil war along with it.  In the end, all major systems of the Core have surrendered to his threat to reduce them to rubble like Coruscant.  As bitter and long as the siege has been, it has served as an illustrative tool.  For his violence always has a purpose.

The war is over.   And not just this war, but all wars are over now, he brashly announces.  For the First Order has at long last brought peace and order to the galaxy.  And so, as costly as this conflict has been, its many sacrifices are not in vain.  Better times are coming soon, for his victory will usher in a new era of prosperity.  This Sith intends to make good on his promise to make the galaxy great again.  And that is only the beginning.   

Next, the new Senate Chancellor Nestor Ren delivers a heartfelt speech about new beginnings.  About rebuilding and reconciliation.  About grieving the dead and burying the ghosts of the past.  About moving forward and refusing to look back.  There were heroes on both sides of this war, Nestor says with conviction.  We will honor them all.  His words are just what the galaxy at large needs to hear.  And also what Kylo Ren himself needs to hear.   For he needs encouragement these days too.

From the new Senate with its written constitution and bill of rights, to the general amnesty and specific Resistance and New Republic pardons, to the abolition of slavery and the prohibition on superweapons, many of today’s announcements all originated with Rey.  This was the path to a peaceful future she had envisioned but did not live to see.  Historians will credit he and Nestor with these reforms, but the uneducated scavenger girl from Jakku is the unsung heroine of it all.  In the end, the Light had left its mark.  For Rey had not just mattered to him personally, she had mattered to the galaxy.   And that matters to Kylo Ren.  This is her secret posthumous legacy that he enacts in her honor even if her Sith princess alter ego has been expunged from all media.  Because privately Kylo is choosing to remember the best of Rey and not the worst.   He has to do so.  Otherwise, he feels like a fool for loving her so completely.

Nestor's press conference that follows begins with a planted question.  _Chancellor, what sacrifice did you make in this war?_    It is a softball opener designed to further humanize the media-friendly former Second Knight by giving him an opportunity to share how he himself had lost his home on Coruscant. But the question provokes a follow-up and this time it's not from a friendly source.  _What sacrifice did Kylo Ren make?_   Nestor frowns.  _This is not a competition for suffering_ , he admonishes the questioner.  But Kylo surprises everyone when he steps forward to the microphone. 

_My father died on Hosnia_ , he begins.  _My mother, my uncle and my great-grandfather died at Crait.  My sister died a few months ago._   He lumps Rey in with the other casualties of war because even if the war didn't kill her, it had killed their happiness together.  Or maybe it had prohibited their happiness--Kylo still isn't sure.   But one thing is for certain.  Rey is lost forever to him, and he is damned to a life of lonely Darkness because of it.  _I am the last of my kind_ , he tells the now silent room and the galaxy watching on the holonet.  The catalog of his personal losses shuts down all further discussion on this point.  Because if this is a competition for suffering, Kylo Ren is certainly a contender and he just might win.

Two days later the mask and the cape are gone and so are the cameras and the crowds.  Kylo is alone on his shuttle as it descends to a familiar desert world.  He once had come here wary of the past and anxious for the future.  Looking for answers and direction.  The Force had sent Rey to him in response.  And for a time, anything had seemed possible.  But now Kylo returns to the ships graveyard on Jakku with more questions than ever.   He is far less certain of his future than a man in his position ought to be.     

 All those who gain power fear to lose it.  Especially the power mad Sith.  And so as Darth Ren waits in dread for the Force to strike back at him, he is afraid.  Terribly, awfully afraid.  Wandering through the wreckage of the last war, Kylo regrets the hubris that had prompted him to declare his war the war to end all wars.  For despite all the experiences that have brought him to this point, Kylo Ren only knows one truth:   that peace is a lie.   At least his peace is.  For peace won by force must be maintained by force.  And that is not true peace. 

As he picks his way through Jakku’s shifting sands, he realizes that nothing has worked out quite like he had imagined.  Things are at the same time much better and far worse.  Is that the lesson of Jakku?   How even a mighty Empire can be humbled.  That no one is all powerful.  For in the end, we are all weak for something.  He had been weak for Rey.  That weakness had spiraled out of control until he had to shut it down permanently.  It was for his own good.  He refuses to regret it.  But still . . . even if it was the right thing to do, everything about her loss stings. 

And that’s frustrating because a man in his position ought not to have such debilitating insecurities.   He is above some barely literate scavenger woman’s scorn.  He ought to be able to take rejection in stride for he has nothing left to prove.  He is a Sith Master who rules the galaxy.  It is a momentous accomplishment for a man not yet age thirty-five. 

He has an unlimited future ahead of him.  Or so, he had thought.  For time is but a measurement for a Sith Master who knows the Dark secret to immortality.  He can make the clock tick by without consequence, if he wishes.  Patiently plotting all things in good time.  But lately, Kylo is not in the mood to take that final step and ascend to his Master’s full deity status.  Because suddenly, irrevocably, life everlasting seems bleak. 

He clenches his prosthetic right hand and it is painful still.  Painful in a sharp, stinging way that overtakes his mind instantly.  Painful like the memory of her.   Kylo focuses his concentration now on that pain.  Honing it, channeling it deep, obsessing over it.  He is a Sith and so he gains power from his pain.   For the old Jedi maxim is true.   Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.  But in Darkness, that suffering leads to power.    For that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger as a Sith.

This is a test, Kylo tells himself.  In the end, he will emerge greater and Darker for this experience.  But while there is glory in all that Darkness, there is some futility too.  For this young Sith is wise enough to know that the Darker he becomes, the stronger his call to the Light will be.  Only now, the Light is gone.  Will the Force strike back at him for his actions?  He does not know.  But he worries that the answer is yes.  Only time will tell.  And that’s just one more reason he holds back from immortality.  For one lifetime of unhappiness might be all he can bear.

Flexing his new hand again, Kylo muses ruefully that loss of a hand is quickly becoming his family’s most enduring tradition.  Along with war and patricide, of course.  Rey had given him the mark of a Skywalker.  And that’s fitting because Kylo is now like the rest of the men in his family.  Powerful and alone. 

Alone like Darth Plagueis who kept his wife’s body in vain hope that he might someday revive her in the Force.  His old Master had filled his bunker with a steady stream of concubine slaves.  But he dismissed them one by one as soon as he began to care for them.  For the old Muun Sith had been willing to be unfaithful to his late wife in body but not in heart.  For years, Lady Shan lay in state in his temple awaiting her resurrection.  She guarded his most sacred Dark secrets in the Force.  Likely, she too guarded what remained of old Darth Plagueis’ withered heart.

Yes, Kylo realizes, now he too is alone.  Alone like Darth Vader.  His grandfather had lived out his days bereft of his beloved wife and forever isolated from others by a mask and a suit.  The public man had commanded armies and ruled the Empire.  But the private man had returned regularly to a foreboding castle on a Hellish lava world to stew in his hate.  Kylo wonders now whether his grandfather had kept Lady Padme’s portrait as a reminder of better days or as a talisman of regret.  Or maybe, some mixture of both?  Darth Vader would have understood about Rey, Kylo consoles himself.  For his grandfather too had known the sharp sting of rejection.  Vader’s long-lost son had leapt to his death rather than reconcile with his father.  And actually, that’s one step farther than the hurt Rey had done to him.

Life alone is not only a consequence of being a Skywalker Sith, Kylo knows.  Light or Dark, there seems to be no escape from isolation.  For hadn’t his uncle too lived alone?  The Last Jedi had been taught to eschew attachments and to decline all but an amorphous universal love.  And while the Jedi Master had lived in the New Republic for a time, he ultimately wound up in self-imposed exile.  Alone on an island on a remote world for years. 

Again, Kylo closes his fist and basks in the pain the movement causes.  There is a lesson here to divine, he thinks.  As he looks around at thirty-year-old battle wreckage and thinks of his family’s struggles, he wonders if the lesson is simply that history repeats itself.  Unexpectedly and for different reasons.   Try as you might, you can learn from the mistakes of the past but you cannot avoid them.  Was it folly to believe that he and Rey could blaze a new path forward?   Was it hubris to think that he could escape the cycle of drama and loss that so epitomizes his family?  Or maybe it was obnoxious to think that he could have it all in the first place.  No one gets everything they want out of life.  Maybe he simply overreached by attempting to claim both the girl and the galaxy.

But whatever the reason, the consequence is the same:  dissatisfaction.  Kylo Ren stands master of the galaxy and master of the Sith.  He has achieved everything his younger self thought he ever wanted.  But there is no joy in it.  For he still lacks the one thing he has always craved--love. 

For all his glory as Supreme Leader, Darth Ren is not foolish enough to believe that his subjects love him.   They fear him mostly.  And some of them hate him.  His officers and his knights are the same.  Well, Nestor Flick might love him.  But his friend has been very distant of late.  And besides, that is love like a brother.  Kylo knows he needs more than that.  But there is no one left to love him.  Not in the way he wants to be loved.  Not in the way he needs to be loved.  It is humbling for Darth Ren to know that the lowliest among his subjects can find love but not he himself. 

Still, he refuses to regret his decision.  Rey deserved her death.  For raising his hopes and dashing them.  For failing to appreciate all that he had offered her.   For being too weak of character to transcend Jakku.  Plus, Rey had said that he was unworthy of love.  And really, that's the reason she had to die.  For not only had Rey rejected him yet again, but she had flatly denied him the hope of love that he has clung to for so long.  And once that hope of a future with Rey was gone, he just needed to end his suffering.   The problem is that killing Rey did not solve his problem.  Rey had died wanting to move on and now he’s the one who can’t put her behind him.  For the memories and the ‘what ifs’ haunt him. 

Could loneliness be the true destiny of the Chosen Ones?  For one and all, the Skywalkers are gifted with the Force, burdened by romantic ideals, and torn apart by ambition.  The prophesy of balance long foretold seems forever out of their reach.  For if his family is anything, they are extreme.  Balance seems something like a cruel joke on the Skywalkers. 

But balance is real, Kylo Ren knows from personal experience.  His Muun Master had taught him this from the beginning.  Always, the Force defaults to balance in the universe and in an individual.  Even now, he stands here deep in Darkness and simultaneously aching for the Light.  In a flash of insight, Kylo posits that if he cannot seek the Light, then perhaps he should be the Light.   Maybe just a little.  Ironically, it’s what Rey would have wanted, so in a roundabout fashion perhaps she has won. 

It’s worth a try, he thinks.  And so he stretches out his feelings, sinking deep into the Force.  From time to time, he thinks he feels Rey’s spirit in the Force.  But not today.  Usually, it is just the spirit of his old Master who Kylo finds in the Force.  When that happens, it’s always the same.  Darth Plagueis’ dying words echo over and over again in Kylo’s mind.  _Find Rey.  Find her and find the balance.  Together, be the balance._ It is demoralizing to be reminded of his failure.  Kylo hates it.

Still, he projects his mind far and wide into the universe today as he humbles himself.  _May the Force be with you, Rey._  He blesses the memory of his beloved scavenger princess.  The girl from Jakku who was lost, then found, then lost again. _I forgive you.  Please forgive me._   Forgiveness is the essence of the Light and it is the fruition of compassion.  Kylo remembers that lesson from his long ago Padawan days.  Perhaps, he thinks, the Force will forgive his trespasses if he forgives the girl who trespassed against him.  It’s not much and perhaps it has little meaning, but it takes the edge off his misery for a moment.  Encouraged, Kylo trudges through the sand back to his shuttle.  Maybe when he gets back he’ll go find a few prisoners to pardon.  Rey would like that too, he thinks.

_Find Rey.  Find her and find the balance._ Snoke’s words fill his mind and Kylo can almost hear the old Muun’s gravelly voice.  Kylo knows from experience that when this happens, it goes on and on incessantly.  For the next hour, his thoughts will constantly be interrupted by the last gasped words of his dying Master.   Is old Snoke shaming him in the Force?  Or is this just a mental echo of his long-ago words meant so keenly?  They were the parting words of advice from the most powerful Sith who ever lived, and Kylo had done his best to do his Master’s bidding.  But it hadn’t been enough. _Find her._ _There is another Skywalker_ _._ Kylo winces at this last bit.  He might rule the galaxy but when it comes to Darth Plagueis’ two favorite things—the balance of the Force and the continuation of the clan of the Chosen Ones—Kylo’s failure is complete.  Rey had been the key to it all, but she had let him down.  

Blinking back hot tears of humiliation, Kylo reminds himself that the young Emperor of the galaxy does not have regrets.  Just like he doesn’t have insecurities.   He is all-powerful in all things, stronger even than Darth Vader.  And one day, hopefully, a Sith to rival old Darth Plagueis.  Maybe he should just get Milo to go buy him some slave girls, Kylo thinks.  Perhaps a new girl will help him forget the old one. _Find her._ _There is another Skywalker_ _._ Fuck.  Yes, Kylo decides, he’s definitely going to get some slave girls.  Tall, blonde and thick ones who are nothing like Rey.  He’s going to forget Rey.  He hopes he can forget Rey.  He has to forget Rey.  Because if he can’t, then he is his grandfather and his great-grandfather all over again.  In all the ways he has wanted to emulate Darth Vader and to surpass Snoke, heartache was never on the list. 

Yes, Kylo thinks as he takes one last wistful look back at the _Inflictor_ wreck, the past repeats itself.  And that is at once comforting and frustrating.


	71. Chapter 71 Story Notes to Part Five

Here are a few thoughts on Part 5 and on this story generally. I hope these ideas help to explain and deepen the story for you.

Ghosts of the Past had a number of inspirations. Gone with the Wind (the massive sweeping novel of the South and not the movie) was the largest influence for this fic. I wanted to write lovers who keep missing each other. And then when they finally get together, things fall apart. The love triangle with Hux-Rey-Kylo was motivated by Gone with the Wind as well. Plus, I had been dying to write some more Hux and Rey after Fulcrum.

As in Gone with the Wind, war is a huge part of this story. From the plot to the characterization, war is a recurring theme. War leaves its mark on people, on cultures, and on relationships. This story is partly about how hard it is for people to get along, whether it is in personal relationships (Rey and Kylo) or in the political sense (the First Order and the Resistance, the Dark and the Light). Our differences are real and they matter. And they can be depressingly hard to bridge. Pluralistic societies and functioning democracies are in many ways a triumph of compromise and tolerance. We should be grateful for them, even if they can be messy and frustrating. So too, we should be grateful for those people in our personal lives who are patient, flexible and understanding. They are often the people who keep families and relationships together.

The portrayal of the Sith family relationships in this story is inspired by the tv series Tyrant. Everyday life in the First Order compound is inspired by the alt-history TV series The Man in the High Castle. My husband and I binged on that show for about two weeks straight and it heavily influenced this story in lots of ways, especially in the character of Kylo Ren. Aspects of him are modeled off the American Nazi John Smith in that show.

I honestly never intended for this story to drag out so long. This story kept mushrooming in part because it was so easy and fun to write. I tire of some of my stories and after a while, they can become a chore to write (His Padawan, I’m looking at you!). But never this one. This fic was a blast to write. Originally, this story was supposed to end when Hux ran off with Rey. Rey was either going to live happily ever after with Hux at the Resistance or Kylo was going to arrive to rescue her and kill Luke Skywalker. Either way, we were going to end with a wedding. But that conclusion felt rushed and unsatisfactory, so I kept writing. I also felt like Kylo and Rey needed an opportunity to try and make things work.

When it came to Part 5, I began with the question: What would happen to Anakin and Padme if Padme had lived? Would she and Anakin have stayed together? Because that's really the scenario here. My answer is no, but they both would have tried. And that's how I hoped to depict Kylo and Rey in Part 5. Each in their own way truly tries and compromises to get along but it just doesn't work out. The wartime context exacerbates differences that in another setting perhaps they could mostly ignore. Their respective leadership roles also create flashpoints that would not exist for another couple. In the end, it falls apart fast and Kylo doesn't really see it coming. And with the loss of Rey, he loses the equal partner Empress he wants, his dream of a Dark-Light family dynasty in the Force, and his goal of balance. He rules the galaxy, but he rules it alone. History repeats itself, this time a little differently, but the result is the same.

In my mind, Kylo does truly love Rey. Just like I believe that Anakin truly loves Padme. Both men end up sacrificing their love quite accidentally on the way to Dark Side glory. If you had asked them to make this choice up front, neither would have done so. But unwittingly, that's how things turn out.

Rey the survivor, of course, survives. That's what she does.

The challenge of a Reylo fic is to find common ground between these two characters from widely divergent backgrounds and points of view. Because in real life, relationships grow and deepen from commonalities—similar values, goals and personalities. That’s the struggle of romantic relationships—you need mental and physical chemistry and two lives that align (or one partner willing to compromise a lot). Other Reylo fics I have written start with the lovers screaming at each other and then they find their way to harmony. This fic starts with harmony and the lovers evolve to end up screaming at each other. I think this latter plot is the far more common example from real life. I’m old enough to have seen a few friends divorce and one get left at the altar. Every time, things started off great even if there were a few red flags visible (but only in retrospect). But as things got serious and commitments loomed, conflicts ripened. You can ignore your differences when it’s all fun date nights and weekends away. But once you are trying to mesh two families (trust me, you marry your spouse, but you marry their family too in the end) or there are serious purchases or career and family decisions on the horizon, differing priorities and values can matter in a big way. I hoped to portray a bit of that complexity in this fic.

  
I wanted the Reylo relationship in this fic to be complicated. A mix and good and bad. Is Kylo the bad guy? He certainly is in the war context but less so vis-a-vis Rey. His motives toward her are pure even if he's overly aggressive about planning their life out and maneuvering Rey into bed. Still, Kylo sees a lot of the truth of Rey. Just not all of it. He has a big blind spot about the consequences of his own brutality and he doesn't recognize how meaningful that is for their relationship. And so he doesn't see the end coming. Have you ever gotten dumped and didn't see it coming? Have you ever failed to appreciate that your partner is unhappy because you have been caught up in your career or the kids or whatever? You think everything is fine because it’s fine for you, but that's not really the case? Trust me, it happens all the time. Kylo is the romantic at heart and very committed to Rey. He's the type who hangs in there and tries to make things work. Time and again, he is the pursuer with Rey and he drives the relationship for the most part.

In some ways, Rey doesn't appreciate that the end is coming either. She's been confusing her problems with Kylo with her problems with his war. Have you ever been in a bad relationship you kept telling yourself wasn't so bad and would get better? Relationships do ebb and flow and anyone who has been married for a few years will know that rough patches are reality and that true conflicts come up time and again. So the concept of working through a problem or just hanging in there until it's over is often (but not always) the solution. Determining when a conflict is insurmountable and also whether is fundamental to the relationship can be hard. Because some differences can be managed or even ignored, while others cannot be. And the breaking point for one person is not necessarily the same for another.

All of this is especially hard for Rey who has no background of relationships to give her guidance and confidence in her choices. Can you have a happy marriage if you've never seen one? Can you have a healthy relationship if you grew up in isolation? I think the answers are yes, but I also think that it would require lots of time and patience. Kylo ruins things in a large part by rushing Rey and creating external timelines that are an outgrowth of his war and not the natural evolution of their love. Plus, life with Kylo comes with a lot of strings attached. Being Empress isn't actually an easy job nor is it something every woman would want. Being thrust into that sort of public and political role is a big deal, particularly for someone with Rey's background and insecurities, and for someone who hasn't signed on as a true believer of the First Order. It just adds to the pressure Kylo creates. Light Side Rey also turns out to be the character most motivated by fear and insecurities in this fic, and not our Dark Sith.

I have the sense that these two lovers might be completely happy were things allowed to develop more slowly and were the external pressures of war and position removed. But, of course, that's not the case. They are the Romeo and Juliette of the galaxy in some respects, doomed by the context of their love and by their differences in background.

If you’ve read my other stories, you know that I do not water down my Sith. Not their violence, their aggression, their sense of entitlement nor their ambition. Kylo does and says things our modern, conventionally moral world would not approve of. But I wanted Kylo to have heroic qualities and sympathetic moments. In the end, I wanted readers to be rooting for our Reylo lovers to make it even as it becomes clear that they will not.

When it all falls apart, Kylo is the blindsided partner like Padme is in Episode 3. (He has some of her lines too.) All the signs of trouble brewing have been there but who knew that Anakin/Rey would react so abruptly and decisively? In hindsight, the path is clear but in real time it is not. In my story, Rey's decision and her reticence about commitment have been building all along but Kylo doesn't recognize it until it's too late. Rey is feeling increasingly trapped and I think she would never tolerate that. I can absolutely see her lighting a sword prepared to fight her way out, if necessary. However, I don't see her ever intentionally harming Kylo. That’s why when she does hurt him, it is an accident and an outgrowth of the Jakku girl's aggressive self-defense. Rey can be tough and confrontational because Jakku made her so and not because she's a hard ass by nature. But when push comes to shove, Jakku always explains how Rey reacts. We all default first to what we know best.

For Kylo, this is the last straw. Kylo gives way more emotional commitment to their relationship and in some ways he sustains their emotional connection (because Jakku, of course). He feels utterly betrayed and rejected. And so, Sith that he is, Kylo reacts by trying to kill her. From his perspective, he feels pushed into this. This is the latest (and biggest) of her on-and-off-again rejections and he's at a breaking point. In an ordinary relationship, this is when you go your separate ways. When you recognize that the relationship is toxic and your partner can't/won't change or can't/won't give you all you need. Except, of course, if you are a vengeful Sith who's worried about a potential enemy girlfriend.

I have written a lot of Reylo and each time the characters and situations are slightly different. This is the first time that I wrote Kylo modeled intentionally off Anakin Skywalker. This Kylo is far more like his ill-fated grandfather in temperament and motivations than any other version of Kylo that I have written. My boys and I finally watched the Clone Wars cartoon series (a lot of it went right past the four-year-old) and that series' characterization of Anakin stuck with me. He's committed and brave, a great mix of pragmatism and idealism, a little commanding but also understanding too. I very much wanted Kylo Ren in this fic to believe that he is the hero and his actions are justified, just like his grandfather did. In the end, I wanted Kylo to feel victimized for how things have turned out. Rey ultimately hurts our anti-hero Sith deeply. He ends up bitter but fighting it. Darker but still craving the Light.

The title Ghosts of the Past is intended to capture the struggle of my main characters. Kylo begins the story trying hard to avoid the strategic mistakes of the prior Empire and we learn as the story continues how much he wants to avoid the personal mistakes of his own family. As much as Kylo wants to recreate his grandfather's beloved Empire, he wants to do it differently. And though he wants to emulate his grandfather's glory, he wants to live a happier life. When the story ends, neither goal has really come true for Kylo. For as much as he reveres the past and wants to fix it, he ends up reliving it in key ways. Rey too wants to supersede her personal past and she too never quite gets there. I suspect that it will take Rey finding her way on her own terms for her to get past the hurts to Jakku.

The influence of the past is a recurring theme in this story and it is woven all through the many characters and their backstories. Even literally, there are ghosts of the past haunting our main characters. For Rey, it is the ghostly Lady Plagueis in the Sith temple holding the Dark secret to immortality. Snoke's dead wife, like the portrait of Lady Vader, serves as a terrifying role model for survivor Rey. These women are everything Rey fears to become. The irony is that Rey worries about being marked for death as Kylo's girl, but refusing to be Kylo's girl is actually what endangers her most.

For Kylo, he hears the ghostly words of Snoke speaking of Rey. Kylo thinks he is hearing Snoke's dying words but in fact Snoke is speaking in the Force in present tense, only Kylo doesn't know it because he doesn't know that Rey in fact lives. And that's sort of the theme of my story in a nutshell right there: what Kylo understands to be the past is in fact his present. That awful misconception depicted in the last paragraphs of this fic is the crux of the story.

I want to thank my readers who made it all the way through this fic. I meandered here and there and spent more time than usual on character development and atmospherics in this fic. That was probably a bit self-indulgent, but I confess that I love the SW universe. I also love complicated and complex conflicts and characters. Maybe it's because I feel like I myself get constantly misjudged in real life, but it's true that we are all more than we seem. The world too often wants to put us into boxes and categories and if you challenge that too much you can be judged very harshly. I myself am very quietly subversive about these things. Because sometimes upending people's expectations is the best revenge. Own who you are and be proud of it, but don’t be afraid of change. And recognize helpful, constructive criticism for what it is.

Yes, there is a Part 6, at least in my head. It takes place after a significant time gap when our lovers' paths cross again. He's been ruling an empire and struggling with Darkness. She has been pursuing her dream of a normal life. It's a ‘second chance at love’ story and it's all in my head. I suppose it will get written eventually. It was supposed to be an epilogue but it's way too much so I jettisoned that idea.

Thanks again for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.


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